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Thread: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

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    Canada Avalon Member Richard S.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    But the primary roles are still distinct.
    That is the most important part that is getting blurry these days...

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    Scotland Avalon Member greybeard's Avatar
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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by Lovespot (here)
    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    But the primary roles are still distinct.
    That is the most important part that is getting blurry these days...
    Which is why I started this thread

    Chris
    https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1239437
    Be kind to all life, including your own, no matter what!!

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by Flash (here)
    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    What a fantastic opportunity to give gifts to my favorite men! Thanks for the heads up

    I don't have a lot to contribute at this time except that I feel men and women think differently, generally speaking.

    The tech world (where I live) has much more men than women in it, and it's always been a bit skewed when it comes to stereotyping. I'm guilty of stereotyping as well, because I strongly feel that men are more "apt" to have computer programming skills and/or problem solving skills which are much better than women. That's not to say women can't be good at programming and problem solving, it's just not the norm. The sad thing is, if I had to hire an Admin right now - I'd prefer a male one.

    I first noticed this when I was in school and I tried to teach people basic programming skills - all the ladies I tried to teach could not catch onto the simplest concepts.
    This is not my experience at all, but hey, I respect yours. The women I have seen do get basic concepts, and they are as savvy about computer than their male counterpart, at least the young ones, and you are young Petra, how come you noticed what you did?

    I have the taste to tease you - oh! Newfoundland!! just kidding,
    We're an odd bunch alright!
    I'm actually really sorry for explaining my views so offensively, it's really just my opinion and I'm just one person.
    I thought about it later and what didn't seem offensive to me at the time, suddenly seemed a lot worse.
    I did not mean to imply that ladies aren't capable! Sure they are. I just see some differences, and if I'm ever able to formulate my thoughts properly I'll make a separate posting about it.

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    Scotland Avalon Member greybeard's Avatar
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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    What a fantastic opportunity to give gifts to my favorite men! Thanks for the heads up

    I don't have a lot to contribute at this time except that I feel men and women think differently, generally speaking.

    The tech world (where I live) has much more men than women in it, and it's always been a bit skewed when it comes to stereotyping. I'm guilty of stereotyping as well, because I strongly feel that men are more "apt" to have computer programming skills and/or problem solving skills which are much better than women. That's not to say women can't be good at programming and problem solving, it's just not the norm. The sad thing is, if I had to hire an Admin right now - I'd prefer a male one.

    I first noticed this when I was in school and I tried to teach people basic programming skills - all the ladies I tried to teach could not catch onto the simplest concepts.
    I think your points are valid Petra.
    What I have noticed is that people literally grow into what is expected of them--the new "norm" so to speak.
    Body shape of both men and women seem to have changed over the years.
    Abilities also have merged to a degree.
    Women are much more computer savy and have enhanced ability to problem solve.
    Men have perhaps become more nurturing, with better, more affectionate, relationships with their children.
    It is as it is.
    Im ok with me and that's being a Man.

    Ch
    Ps there is no need to "apologize" to strong women like Flash, whom I have the greatest regard and respect for.
    There are not that many of her calibre yet but the numbers are growing rapidly.

    Chris
    Last edited by greybeard; 20th November 2018 at 16:46.
    Be kind to all life, including your own, no matter what!!

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by greybeard (here)
    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    What a fantastic opportunity to give gifts to my favorite men! Thanks for the heads up

    I don't have a lot to contribute at this time except that I feel men and women think differently, generally speaking.

    The tech world (where I live) has much more men than women in it, and it's always been a bit skewed when it comes to stereotyping. I'm guilty of stereotyping as well, because I strongly feel that men are more "apt" to have computer programming skills and/or problem solving skills which are much better than women. That's not to say women can't be good at programming and problem solving, it's just not the norm. The sad thing is, if I had to hire an Admin right now - I'd prefer a male one.

    I first noticed this when I was in school and I tried to teach people basic programming skills - all the ladies I tried to teach could not catch onto the simplest concepts.
    I think your points are valid Petra.
    What I have noticed is that people literally grow into what is expected of them--the new "norm" so to speak.
    Body shape of both men and women seem to have changed over the years.
    Abilities also have merged to a degree.
    Women are much more computer savy and have enhanced ability to problem solve.
    Men have perhaps become more nurturing, with better, more affectionate, relationships with their children.
    It is as it is.
    Im ok with me and that's being a Man.

    Ch
    Ps there is no need to "apologize" to strong women like Flash, whom I have the greatest regard and respect for.
    There are not that many of her calibre yet but the numbers are growing rapidly.

    Chris
    Thanks for that Chris, I meant to write back yesterday, but got spooked and took off early. I legitimately am sorry for how I worded that!! And embarrassed too, which doesn't happen too often! I really do sound like an ass...

    The point I'm really trying to make though, is about brain functionality. We already know testosterone affects the brain, and so does estrogen.

    Women have monthly cycles which are very obvious, and men have cycles too, they're just faster cycles (ref link). Ever heard of IMS? Well me neither until today. It's kind of like PMS... (he he!)

    Since men cycle faster, I think that would give men the capacity to think faster (or reason faster) than women.

    That's not to say women are "slow thinkers" LOL, I'm sure we have our strong points too. For example "Women's Intuition" I do not think is a myth. Women really do have more potential there, I think so - mine is just not working at full capacity

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    Since men cycle faster, I think that would give men the capacity to think faster (or reason faster) than women.

    That's not to say women are "slow thinkers" LOL, I'm sure we have our strong points too. For example "Women's Intuition" I do not think is a myth. Women really do have more potential there, I think so - mine is just not working at full capacity
    Men think in "boxes"

    Women think in "wires"

    It's often faster to sort and order boxes, but wires can lead to very interesting connections (intuition?)

    not sure which is better, the styles do seem to work well together (when willing) however.
    Hard times create strong men, Strong men create good times, Good times create weak men, Weak men create hard times.
    Where are you?

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by TargeT (here)
    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    Since men cycle faster, I think that would give men the capacity to think faster (or reason faster) than women.

    That's not to say women are "slow thinkers" LOL, I'm sure we have our strong points too. For example "Women's Intuition" I do not think is a myth. Women really do have more potential there, I think so - mine is just not working at full capacity
    Men think in "boxes"

    Women think in "wires"

    It's often faster to sort and order boxes, but wires can lead to very interesting connections (intuition?)

    not sure which is better, the styles do seem to work well together (when willing) however.
    I've heard the boxes idea before Not the wires though! Very cool... that makes sense to me. My "wiring" is related to my associations I imagine.

    Additionally in regards to memory, I've heard it said men remember directions with street names better, whereas women remember better based off landmarks. That's certainly true for me - I prefer to use landmarks.

    I didn't include the boxes because I thought I might offend someone with the "Nothing Box"....

    One funny thing I recall hearing about is men's "Nothing Box". The example used was when a man is fishing. Generally speaking, when fishing men seem to prefer thinking about nothing. Must be nice!! I don't think I have a "Nothing Box" personally. I'm able to box my thoughts, but I have to do it selectively and on purpose.

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    I was horrified to learn this stat just now - "Men are much more likely to commit suicide". I don't know what to say.... I'd have thought suicide rate would be equal in the sexes.
    Any women reading this, let's take a moment to appreciate the huge sacrifice which our men are making.

    Quote But of the 5,981 deaths by suicide in the UK in 2012, more than three quarters (4,590) were males. In the US, of the 38,000 people who took their own lives in 2010, 79% were men.
    https://www.theguardian.com/science/...lth-nick-clegg
    https://www.cdc.gov/violencepreventi...ataSheet-a.pdf

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    I was horrified to learn this stat just now
    Well, it does get worse....

    Last edited by TargeT; 21st November 2018 at 19:31.
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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    There's actually a percentage calculated for father's unknowingly raising a child that's not their own?!

    Well GEE. Gotta hate it when the stats people know more about your child than you do.

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    I'll kick off the thread here with some fairly firm views of my own. I'm not expecting everyone to agree! But this really is what I think and feel.
    • Men are physiologically and emotionally different from women, and always have been.
    • But many men are confused these days about their role. They sometimes feel cowed by strong feminists (and by a global agenda to promote feminism).
    • Many can even feel guilty for their feelings of strong male identity and sexuality, which they may be conflicted about and sometimes self-inhibit.
    • That doesn't mean they have to be cigar-chewing, gun-toting Neanderthals. But they can (and should!) still display courage, fight for what's right, defend and protect their families, and be proactive initiators of beneficial change.
    • Women can do all that, too, of course. And men can be sensitive, caring, nurturing, and supportive. There's significant overlap. But the primary roles are still distinct.
    Discuss.
    woman are power hungry, you now, Power corrupt and absolut Power corrupt absolutely. Absolutely powerful men are too world destroyers, but here comes the Beauty; men are the ONLY world (civilizations) builders. Not ONE civilization was ever made from woman. (source: official AND unofficial History and Archeology)... and when one was (not yet fund) don't` last long enough to tell the Tale.

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    United States Avalon Member Mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Didn't know there was a men's day! I've never received a card or anything

    I think the most important thing for a man is to be integrated. In other words, you don't repress or deny your aggressive or violent sides, you make friends with them. Integrate them. Because being aggressive and violent are often requirements for being a man. Men have always been providers and protecters. Like it or not, there will be times when violence and aggression are necessary. Doesn't take much imagination to think up some examples.

    When you integrate those things, you rarely have to deploy them. Making friends with your violence and aggression makes it much less likely that you'll ever have to use them. Men that do this carry themselves with a certain grace. They're comfortable in their own skin and don't need to walk around puffing their chest out. You can pick these men out of a crowd. They exude self-assuredness. You intuitively know not to mess with them.

    And these are the best of men - men that are fully capable of destruction and violence but actively choose not to engage it(unless necessary of course).

    Men are asked to deny their nature these days. It's very dangerous. Deny or repress something long enough and it will surface with a vengeance..when you least expect it. So, teaching young men effective techniques for integration is the key, not raising them like little girls. If you make that mistake you get "toxic masculinity" , or distorted expressions of maleness (rape, domestic violence, etc) If you encourage and teach integration on the other hand, you get calm, assured, strong, competent, courageous, and responsible men. You get good providers and protectors, loyal and dedicated husbands, and confident and peaceful citizens
    Last edited by Mike; 24th July 2021 at 20:43.

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    Default Re: 19 November is International Men's Day. But what does it mean to be a man?

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    I didn't include the boxes because I thought I might offend someone with the "Nothing Box"....
    I usually refer to it as a "ball of wires" but I felt that was disparaging, so I left it out as well... haha

    Quote Posted by Mike (here)
    Didn't know there was a men's day! I've never received a card or anything
    pretty sure white men need not apply.
    Hard times create strong men, Strong men create good times, Good times create weak men, Weak men create hard times.
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