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Thread: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

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    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    When chatting with an online friend today, I coined the term 'video fatigue'. I thought it was quite apt.

    But there are various kinds of 'fatigues'. In listing them, I intend NO disrespect to the sometimes literally tireless efforts of some researchers who have been working very hard to solve some deep mysteries. (Some are deeper than others, of course.)
    • 'Q' fatigue. (That set in for me about 10 months ago. Not a joke.)
    • 9/11 fatigue. That's more serious. That NEEDS good research — of course. But I no longer pay too much attention to new 9/11 videos, unless I'm sold that something previously unknown actually has been unearthed.
    • 'We're-all-going-to-ascend-next-month' fatigue. That set in for me, solidly, on 22 Dec, 2012. (And I was pretty fatigued before that, too.)
    • Nibiru fatigue. I really do have that now. A few years ago, I was very interested, and was fairly persuaded by some of the circumstantial evidence. Now, I no longer pay attention to Nibiru discussions.
    • Trump fatigue. That's related to 'Q' fatigue. I was pretty excited (even elated) when Trump was elected. While it's as plain as day that Hillary would have been almost infinitely worse, I'm no longer sure that Trump is a hero who's in full control of everything and (as Q' insists) has a surefire plan that's to be blindly trusted. (I also have to say, I sincerely hope 'Q' is right. But I'm fatigued from waiting.)
    • SSP fatigue. I know the Secret Space Program is a reality. What else is there to talk about?
    This is definitely an incomplete list. But I thought I'd offer it, as it is, to prompt more suggestions from others. Please do share them.

    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 17th December 2018 at 02:05.

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    United States Avalon Member Smell the Roses's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by Daozen (here)
    How much of this information do we need? I've stayed away from the alt media for the past few months, and I'm still here. The elite think in terms of decades. So why are they encouraging us, through their alt media stooges, to think in terms of weeks and days?

    Looking back, in retrospect, how much 'latest intel' info over the past year was dud? 95%?

    If the carousel is too fast, jump off it, and walk in the forest. Mayhap the dark mountains are calling you again, Bill.
    Me too. I’m much happier since I started ignoring all of the latest impending deadlines and extreme pronouncements. I’m amazed that any of those guys still have an audience.
    There's no time like the present.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Glad you read my posts, Merry Mom and Autumn W.

    The way I see it:

    - If true disclosure happens in our lifetime (very unlikely), we will see it on the worldwide news within 48 hours.
    - If mass arrests happen (also unlikely) we'll see it on the news.
    - If the economy changes drastically, we'll see it on the news.
    - If there are real tectonic changes in politics, we'll see it on the news.


    If any of these things happen, we'll see it on the news. So why should I spend hours per week listening to these alt media pundits promising instant freedom/doom/freedom/doom...? There are largely unbearable bores.

    Maybe the intent is to spike Adrenalin, cause fatigue and break the spirit.

    Meanwhile, there is genuine innovation going on in farming, water-filtration, micro-finance, home energy, longevity, eco-houses and a thousand other fields. Avalonians are largely ignoring these developments. A rare thread on innovation lasts more than 3 pages.

    Is Avalon fulfilling it's mission statement?

    Got to go...

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Just correcting something here--what I meant was "assemblage point".
    Apologies. I was in too much of a hurry when I posted before here: https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1264102
    A much better explanation follows of what that is, than the link I posted before, here: https://casswiki.net/index.php?title=Assemblage_point

    "In Castaneda's works, the term (assemblage point) means a locus of perception within the energy field of a being.
    Moving the assemblage point causes the being to perceive and interact with a different reality. This could be likened to tuning to a specific channel of reality. Castaneda describes the universe at large as consisting of filaments of energy. A being is an egg-shaped field of energy and some filaments pass through it and others do not. The filaments which intersect with the being are the sum total of realities accessible to the being.
    All shape changing, travel between worlds and states of consciousness, etc. discussed by Castaneda derive from shifting the assemblage point. This can occur in a somewhat haphazard manner through the use of drugs but ultimately is something to be accomplished as an act of will."

    What I seem to be feeling is nothing as dramatic as shape shifting, but more like a change in direction, or shift in consciousness stemming from needing to find a new purpose, or perhaps finding a resting point in purposelessness. There is no longer a great thirst in me for truth about the reality we are living in, which replaced the former great thirst for spiritual Truth, and it seems like somehow those two ways of looking at existence are no longer at odds within me, and I'm reconciled to this strange reality we awakened ones find ourselves in.

    Hopefully this new angst so many of us are feeling is a sign we are graduating to a new level, and it should be interesting to see what that reality will be that we are co-creating.

    Some info from two different sources have both resonated with me strongly recently; in Wingmakers where Dr. Neruda says: "But the thing is, to change, to step out of this illusion, it requires each of us to wake up and stay awake. It’s not reading words that will change this; it’s the profound nature of new behaviors, because these behaviors signal that our consciousness layers are understood as separate from who we really are. We have to operate as I AM WE ARE.”

    “It’s not easy. The WingMakers write about the heart virtues as the behavioral construct for this time, and how these words can be applied and lived, not simply held in the head as a worthy concept. Appreciation or gratitude, compassion, humility, forgiveness, understanding and valor or courage. It is the combination of nowness—being in the now—and applying these words in our behaviors. It’s being impeccable in this practice.” "

    and from Messages From the Ground Crew:
    "Thus the message of encouragement to those who are aware and capable of understanding the nature of their assignment is to "hold the pole." They must know that there is a plan and they are very much a decisive part of that plan, even though their part appears to be doing nothing. In fact, it is important that they appear to be doing nothing so as not to draw undue attention to themselves.
    Those who are actively on the forefront know and understand their roles. It is those who are to quietly do their part that need the most encouragement.

    It is important that each focus know their task and ask for guidance, provision and protection daily. The importance of each of these individual contributions to the Creator's plan cannot be overemphasized.
    Though this sounds like the easiest of assignments, in the times yet to be experienced, it will not be simple or easy to remain calm, to observe and allow the actions and reactions to surround one and not lose control! To remain devoted with no recognition in a society that thrives on attention and quick gratification will be a stretch for many who truly desire to serve in some capacity in the days to come."

    For many years, my goal was to live as a detached spiritual being should live, until I became a disillusioned conspiracy theorist. Then I had to figure out how to integrate the two realities. I thought my new purpose was to learn as much about what is really happening to our world so that I could help the newly awakening to understand. But there is so much to understand, I hardly knew where to begin to explain, and each time I tried, the results were far from encouraging, so I had to give that up. Just holding the Light or "holding the Pole" as George Green puts it, is the same thing, I think, and that may be what I am coming around again to realizing--that just staying awake, calm and centered may be enough, but from a much more grounded perspective than before, because now I actually know what we're up against, and what that may entail.
    I just read a novel called "The Last Cruise", about an ocean liner on its last legs and what happens when it hits stormy weather.

    A good metaphor for what life felt like when I started my spiritual life and what it feels like now: like embarking on one of those huge cruise liners; everything is right there at the passengers' fingertips that they might need, and it's just smooth sailing across the ocean. But suddenly an unexpected storm erupts, and it all goes haywire. They may be rescued, or they may have to take their chances in lifeboats, but it's only by staying calm, working together as equals, that the passengers and crew and staff will be able to survive.



    Quote Posted by onawah (here)

    I've just started feeling a bit like I'm coming around again, with a new orientation, and that material is helping.
    Not that I agree with all of it, but enough of it, at least, to feel like I'm connecting more to something like what Don Juan Matus called the "assembly point", referred to here: http://eden-saga.com/en/the-assembly-point.html
    Last edited by onawah; 17th December 2018 at 17:20.
    Each breath a gift...
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Bill, you hit the nail on the head.

    I truly cannot keep up. The steady (and competitive) flow of information is so overwhelming that I feel as though I have no chance to really dive in and absorb it. Where is this headed? How will this effect us? I know for me, it has significantly affected my attention span. There is just so much to take in ALL THE TIME that I started to skim through essentially everything I see, which in turn creates a shallow understanding of particular topics or news.

    I do wish that composers (of all substance) would realize that slowly publishing their material would be beneficial to them. People love the chase; like a fish coming back for another bite. Unfortunately, we all know that anyone who wants to stay in the "game" has to play by the rules of their competitors.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Well said Bill , you express something here akin to the feeling of peddling a bicycle down a hill when the bikes speed has exceeded your ability to pedal it. Perhaps this is when you just back off the effort and let it roll .

    On another topic here on Avalon a while back, I have expressed this exact feeling on a more social level, and the feeling is, something has to give.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by waves (here)
    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    .....And it's only going to get worse. Less would be more here. 'More' is NOT more. 'More' is actually becoming less and less.....

    .....And he predicted that many people would go into a kind of 'shock', and would retreat, simply not being able to cope any more. They'd retire into a small personal corner, and focus almost exclusively on what was very near at hand. Very little else.

    Who else is nearing this point? ...
    The worst part for me is that after all this very dedicated diligence for so long I not only don't have answers, I have a massively bigger pile of questions.

    All I've really achieved is confirming a huge number of suspicions about what isn't true (ie, like vaccines really are as bad as I suspected, history has been lied about...) and it's been very satisfying to have lived outside the box refusing to take the bait in many ways my whole life and to find out I was so right to do so.

    But yes, I'm starting to realize I'm not going to get those definitive answers to the big questions no matter how many more great thinkers and questioners I try to keep up with.

    I'm also not going to change the world and it might not even be a noble cause to help push anything or anybody any different way than the path they're on. Lots of that are religious guilt trip remnants.

    So yes, I'm slowing down the research and being more in nature and creativity - despite feeling more a heightened state of vulnerability and danger than ever before here in CA - and definitely letting go and returning to simple and letting things be.

    I suspect - anyway - that the best thing I can do both for myself and in contribution to the continuum my consciousness may be inseparable from is also the easiest thing to do - live every day reinforcing the body and spirit strengthening practices that do no harm, that create and that feel expansive and some form of growth - all different forms of love.... AND continue to practice staying alert and out of traps, addictions, spells and spirit degrading temptations both mental and physical.

    I'm really glad I took the time to get lot smarter, but yes it's time to do less of that and more of enjoying the fruits of all that labor.
    What a lovely post, waves... Maybe you have described that place "where science and spirituality meet".

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    What I seem to be feeling is nothing as dramatic as shape shifting, but more like a change in direction, or shift in consciousness stemming from needing to find a new purpose, or perhaps finding a resting point in purposelessness. There is no longer a great thirst in me for truth about the reality we are living in, which replaced the former great thirst for spiritual Truth, and it seems like somehow those two ways of looking at existence are no longer at odds within me, and I'm reconciled to this strange reality we awakened ones find ourselves in.

    Hopefully this new angst so many of us are feeling is a sign we are graduating to a new level, and it should be interesting to see what that reality will be that we are co-creating.
    For many years, my goal was to live as a detached spiritual being should live, until I became a disillusioned conspiracy theorist. Then I had to figure out how to integrate the two realities. I thought my new purpose was to learn as much about what is really happening to our world so that I could help the newly awakening to understand. But there is so much to understand, I hardly knew where to begin to explain, and each time I tried, the results were far from encouraging, so I had to give that up. Just holding the Light or "holding the Pole" as George Green puts it, is the same thing, I think, and that may be what I am coming around again to realizing--that just staying awake, calm and centered may be enough, but from a much more grounded perspective than before, because now I actually know what we're up against, and what that may entail.

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)

    I've just started feeling a bit like I'm coming around again, with a new orientation, and that material is helping.
    http://eden-saga.com/en/the-assembly-point.html
    I have been feeling the same way. I have come to accept that we are in Plan B. For a long time, I had regrets and concerns about Plan A failing. This is unnecessary, since we can always have a new plan. My new mantra which I randomly shout when no one is around is: "PLAN B, BABY!" preferably stated with a raised fist or other energetic declaration.

    We are literally one.
    There's no time like the present.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
    Well said Bill , you express something here akin to the feeling of peddling a bicycle down a hill when the bikes speed has exceeded your ability to pedal it. Perhaps this is when you just back off the effort and let it roll .

    On another topic here on Avalon a while back, I have expressed this exact feeling on a more social level, and the feeling is, something has to give.
    ThePainterDoug, I agree. A new dawn is needed. We can begin within each one of us, spreading the light, and encouraging each other to do the same.

    There's no time like the present.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    I couldn't cope with the information overload, and I thought I might have gotten permanently stupid as a result of stress! Time passed, and I'm somewhat okay now - but I still have a deep feeling of resentment in regards to having to live out the rest of my life on this planet. I guess you could say that I hate it here.. and I know that's not healthy. It's not as if I can force myself to like this place. The sad part is, in 10 more years I'm most likely going to detest our planet even more.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by Merry Mom (here)
    I have been feeling the same way. I have come to accept that we are in Plan B. For a long time, I had regrets and concerns about Plan A failing. This is unnecessary, since we can always have a new plan. My new mantra which I randomly shout when no one is around is: "PLAN B, BABY!" preferably stated with a raised fist or other energetic declaration.

    We are literally one.
    Your mantra kind of matches mine.
    Mine is "FIX IT", and maybe that's a part of Plan B ;-)

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Petra ... I hope it's not permanent, your hate. Hate is an emotion that draws to you what you hate. It's an adhesive emotion. What you think your pushing away you are actually drawing towards you.

    I don't know if this will help but: The opposite of Love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. So if you don't love it here be indifferent to it, that will not draw to you what you want to push away. Don't give the darkness power, hate and Love are very powerful.
    --------------------------------------------------------
    A young man handed me this many years ago .... I have never forgot it ... I'm not a religious man, but I do know god /all that is, dwells within, this might be the only truth that I know for sure ... 100%
    .
    Romans 5:3-5 New International Version (NIV)

    3 Not only so, but we[a] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

    At the time I worked for a company that betrayed everyone, I guess, like they all do in the end, hate would have come easy if it wasn't for learning about it. My life is o.k. now, not what I want, but what I need. Working on the rest.

    Don't let the darkness eat you up.
    Last edited by ramus; 17th December 2018 at 19:28.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    When chatting with an online friend today, I coined the term 'video fatigue'. I thought it was quite apt.

    But there are various kinds of 'fatigues'. In listing them, I intend NO disrespect to the sometimes literally tireless efforts of some researchers who have been working very hard to solve some deep mysteries. (Some are deeper than others, of course.)
    • 'Q' fatigue. (That set in for me about 10 months ago. Not a joke.)
    • 9/11 fatigue. That's more serious. That NEEDS good research — of course. But I no longer pay too much attention to new 9/11 videos, unless I'm sold that something previously unknown actually has been unearthed.
    • 'We're-all-going-to-ascend-next-month' fatigue. That set in for me, solidly, on 22 Dec, 2012. (And I was pretty fatigued before that, too.)
    • Nibiru fatigue. I really do have that now. A few years ago, I was very interested, and was fairly persuaded by some of the circumstantial evidence. Now, I no longer pay attention to Nibiru discussions.
    • Trump fatigue. That's related to 'Q' fatigue. I was pretty excited (even elated) when Trump was elected. While it's as plain as day that Hillary would have been almost infinitely worse, I'm no longer sure that Trump is a hero who's in full control of everything and (as Q' insists) has a surefire plan that's to be blindly trusted. (I also have to say, I sincerely hope 'Q' is right. But I'm fatigued from waiting.)
    • SSP fatigue. I know the Secret Space Program is a reality. What else is there to talk about?
    This is definitely an incomplete list. But I thought I'd offer it, as it is, to prompt more suggestions from others. Please do share them.


    Good idea, I can identify with all of those, including video fatigue! I will be happy to add a couple suggestions off the top of my head. Personal opinions of course.
    • Blurry UFO Photo & Recycled Story Fatigue- This is practically a crime against digital humanity here. I’m sorry in advance. I’m worn out from looking at blurry, hyper-pixelated photos of UFOs connected immediately with a proclamation that this photo proves aliens exist, and then hearing stories of Kenneth Arnold, Roswell, and “the universe is so big, there must be something out there”. I get why this formula happens, I’m just worn out from it. It doesn’t get us any farther along.


    • Hype Fatigue- A new consumable video or educational product (or nearly anything else) is coming out. A month ahead of time, hype is generated and massive promises are made specifically implying new information or new evidence. Anticipation builds. And there’s nothing new. Nothing insightful. It is literally just hype. This is a waste of precious energy for me. I get that it takes time to do proper research, interviews, and travel— this is quite different than what I mean. When I say hype, I could perhaps substitute intentional manipulation

    😁

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    This effect is linked with the idea of increasing novelty, we seem to arriving at a time when the momentum of increasing novelty is growing exponentially. Terrance McKenna had some interesting ideas about this. The internet has enabled us to digitize the media production of humanity, and of course a percentage of this is going to be 'crap'. For example, take YouTube itself, it is such a vast resource, there are really excellent resources but also reams of complete rubbish and low quality expression.
    McKenna talks about a kind of crisis point in this increasing novelty, where it speeds up dramatically.
    Time is certainly speeding up-I recently realized that I had been living in Tasmania for 5 years, that was the quickest 5 years I have ever known!
    I know just what you mean Bill!

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    Australia Avalon Member Virilis's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    The momentum of the Information Overload Avalanche seems to be increasing at an inexorable pace, even since the airing of this old Xerox commercial....


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    United States Avalon Member Seabreeze's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    We got rid of our TV...some time ago.No need this brain wash machine. But it does not get much better, being in the net almost every day.

    But I got more careful now, knowing there are things, subjects, which can really crowd up your mind and push you out of balance. I experienced this some years ago. Someone told me something, I had a hard time to believe. I refused to believe it and went on a research to proof....it is not true and only a conspiracy theory. But bad luck...I found out the opposite...it actually is fact and true. I was under shock for about 6 month. It still effects me badly - every time the subject comes up. I did learn out of this, to not let certain things cover all of my time.

    There are so many other positive things around also, to pay attention to. Turn the box of for a day and enjoy nature, the sunshine or rain, the ocean, the forest, the smile of a child or whatever brightens your day.

    You need to relax and recover here and there. I listen to music a lot which helps me to balance things out again. Music can be a messenger and healer .......

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    Canada Avalon Member
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by ramus (here)
    Petra ... I hope it's not permanent, your hate. Hate is an emotion that draws to you what you hate. It's an adhesive emotion. What you think your pushing away you are actually drawing towards you.

    I don't know if this will help but: The opposite of Love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. So if you don't love it here be indifferent to it, that will not draw to you what you want to push away. Don't give the darkness power, hate and Love are very powerful....

    Don't let the darkness eat you up.
    That's helpful ramus. So the saying goes "To rid yourself of darkness all you need to do is turn on the light". Easier said than done though (ha ha)
    It's definitely trouble. I've been "having a chat with myself" about it too, and not only do I resent being alive - I resent eating food! My resentment is getting out of hand, and I'll probably end up getting professional help if it keeps getting worse. No offense to your help at all - it's helping, thanks.

    Indifference happens... but that just ends up making me feel guilty, as if I am betraying myself somehow by not "feeling my feelings"? Feelings really are a puzzle sometimes.

    I don't feel some kind of "burning hatred", it's just like a really really deep feeling of not wanting to "be here". You're right about it being adhesive, and I just don't want it getting any worse.

    Maybe this is why I like my corner. I have control in my corner.

    EDIT:

    Quote Posted by Whisper (here)
    We got rid of our TV...some time ago.No need this brain wash machine....
    Brain wash machine, ha ha
    How about Propagandavision
    or "Idiot Box"
    Last edited by petra; 18th December 2018 at 12:39.

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  35. Link to Post #58
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    Quote Posted by ramus (here)
    Petra ... I hope it's not permanent, your hate. Hate is an emotion that draws to you what you hate. It's an adhesive emotion. What you think your pushing away you are actually drawing towards you.

    I don't know if this will help but: The opposite of Love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. So if you don't love it here be indifferent to it, that will not draw to you what you want to push away. Don't give the darkness power, hate and Love are very powerful....

    Don't let the darkness eat you up.
    That's helpful ramus. So the saying goes "To rid yourself of darkness all you need to do is turn on the light". Easier said than done though (ha ha)
    It's definitely trouble. I've been "having a chat with myself" about it too, and not only do I resent being alive - I resent eating food! My resentment is getting out of hand, and I'll probably end up getting professional help if it keeps getting worse. No offense to your help at all - it's helping, thanks.

    Indifference happens... but that just ends up making me feel guilty, as if I am betraying myself somehow by not "feeling my feelings"? Feelings really are a puzzle sometimes.

    I don't feel some kind of "burning hatred", it's just like a really really deep feeling of not wanting to "be here". You're right about it being adhesive, and I just don't want it getting any worse.

    Maybe this is why I like my corner. I have control in my corner.

    EDIT:

    Quote Posted by Whisper (here)
    We got rid of our TV...some time ago.No need this brain wash machine....
    Brain wash machine, ha ha
    How about Propagandavision
    or "Idiot Box"
    Could you allow yourself to feel indifference to those things that you can't change? That would take a huge emotion load off of you. Ask yourself this: What are the emotions of hate and resentment doing for any one and anything outside yourself? What are they doing for you? Are they worth it? Indifference or acceptance can release you to be productive in things that you can do something about.. I do understand you in not liking it here, I have felt the same way my whole life. Once I gained acceptance and realized my dislike for living here doesn't change a thing, it became much easier. Change what you can and let the rest go.

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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Petra.....For me turning on the light came slowly, the thing that started it was FORGIVING my self for reacting to it the way i did. I had it wrong for 40 years. Forgiving one self was very hard for me. I learned to love me, it's not total now, but it's stopped my self destruction. Love and Forgiving seems to be the answer to most of my issues and it appears the Worlds issues too.

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  39. Link to Post #60
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I can't keep up any more." The world of Future Shock is already here

    Quote Posted by peterpam (here)
    Quote Posted by petra (here)
    Quote Posted by ramus (here)
    Petra ... I hope it's not permanent, your hate. Hate is an emotion that draws to you what you hate. It's an adhesive emotion. What you think your pushing away you are actually drawing towards you.

    I don't know if this will help but: The opposite of Love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. So if you don't love it here be indifferent to it, that will not draw to you what you want to push away. Don't give the darkness power, hate and Love are very powerful....

    Don't let the darkness eat you up.
    That's helpful ramus. So the saying goes "To rid yourself of darkness all you need to do is turn on the light". Easier said than done though (ha ha)
    It's definitely trouble. I've been "having a chat with myself" about it too, and not only do I resent being alive - I resent eating food! My resentment is getting out of hand, and I'll probably end up getting professional help if it keeps getting worse. No offense to your help at all - it's helping, thanks.

    Indifference happens... but that just ends up making me feel guilty, as if I am betraying myself somehow by not "feeling my feelings"? Feelings really are a puzzle sometimes.

    I don't feel some kind of "burning hatred", it's just like a really really deep feeling of not wanting to "be here". You're right about it being adhesive, and I just don't want it getting any worse.

    Maybe this is why I like my corner. I have control in my corner.

    EDIT:

    Quote Posted by Whisper (here)
    We got rid of our TV...some time ago.No need this brain wash machine....
    Brain wash machine, ha ha
    How about Propagandavision
    or "Idiot Box"
    Could you allow yourself to feel indifference to those things that you can't change? That would take a huge emotion load off of you. Ask yourself this: What are the emotions of hate and resentment doing for any one and anything outside yourself? What are they doing for you? Are they worth it? Indifference or acceptance can release you to be productive in things that you can do something about.. I do understand you in not liking it here, I have felt the same way my whole life. Once I gained acceptance and realized my dislike for living here doesn't change a thing, it became much easier. Change what you can and let the rest go.
    I wrote this about an hour ago. After I wrote it, I went for a walk on the beach with my dogs. The area is remote and there is all kinds of wildlife. One of the things I have a very hard time with on this planet is the predator- prey dynamics. In particular the fact that we have to eat other living things to survive. Above, I have given "advice" about the benefits of indifference or acceptance of the things we can't change.

    I am walking down the beach and see what appears to be a slightly injured gull hiding. My dogs approached it and it flew unsteadily into the water. Immediately, an eagle starts circling for the kill. I went into some kind of hysterics screaming and waving a stick to scare the eagle out of the water. The eagle perches on on a tall evergreen and the injured bird floats off the shore. I am still waving a stick and making loud noises. Then my own words came back to haunt me. I am frantically not excepting, even hating the inevitable. I know that the Eagle can wait longer than I can and the injured bird will be eaten, if not by this eagle it will be by another one. I turned and walked in another direction so I would not have to witness the inevitable.

    The reason I share this is because it gave me a strong reminder that sometimes when we are dishing out advice it is really meant for ourselves and also a reminder that I am nowhere close to my ideals.

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