Virginia Guiffres' 'Memoirs' from the Epstein files

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

I was so excited, as I loved watching his show and acted like a star struck fan, asking him everything from his initial idea for creating the show to where he got his characters from. He told me it was all based on his own family make up, but without the crazy father and son scenes of Homers hand around Bart's throat.

I was enjoying our conversation, when Jeffrey insisted that I give Matt a foot massage throughout the duration of the short flight. I never turned down a client but when I saw the shape of his feet, I nearly threw up at the thought of having to touch them. He had yellow crusty toenails that even someone with a chainsaw would've had troubles cutting through and then there was the fluffy balls of leftover pieces of sock wedged between the crevices of his sweaty toes, now that was the real icing on the cake for me, no way could I attempt this I thought.

Then I had an idea. I went to the back of the plane and rinsed a wash cloth in warm soapy water and returned for his dreaded foot massage but not before attempting to clean them first. In return for my services Matt was kind enough to draw me two quick sketches on blank paper from his briefcase of my two favorite characters, Homer and Bart. I asked if he would make them out to my little brother and dad, the true fans of the family not missing an episode during dinner over the past ten years or so. Next to the A-4 size drawing he was able to fit in the quote "To my greatest fan from Matt Groening" and their names next to it. I knew they'd absolutely love it, and it was such a nice gesture his feet were no longer an issue as I laughed it off and even made a joke to the comedian about getting a pedicure before hitting L.A's beaches.

The flight was only short and we arrived in busy L.A within the hour, saying Good-Bye to Matt, who was a pleasure to meet. Jeffrey had a meeting at a production studio for one of the girls he was keeping lured in his grasp, so we were off yet again for more business. We were staying with one of his old girlfriends, Jeffrey's code for "She got to old for my taste, but was still nice enough to keep around". She was a tall blonde with blue eyes, a stereotypical Barbie doll. In her younger years she had been a successful model and now lived on the beaches of Santa Monica with a sweeping view of the oceans landscape as her backyard.

The next morning Jeffrey and I went out to breakfast. He said Sarah Keller would be joining us with another one of Jeffrey's girls I hadn't met yet, her name was Nadia Bjorlin and she was a Yugoslavian model turned aspiring actress, with the help of Jeffrey, as he so proudly remarked at the table before they arrived shortly thereafter. She was a stunning brunette with olive skin tones and shocking blue eyes. By far one of the most beautiful girls I had ever met before. She and Sarah approached the table, shopping bags in hands already in the early hours of the day. They both pulled out a chair and showed us their new pair of Jimmy Choo's they had bought on their way here this morning, and excitedly asked for Jeffrey's opinion. He loved the doting attention and anyone who could make him feel important.

We all went back to Sarah's apartment that Jeffrey rented for her on Malibu Beach. This was the first time Jeffrey came to visit and when we got there you could see why. It was a tiny one-bedroom shack, too small for his likes of accommodation, but she loved it and it was plain to see why, the waves lapped underneath her porch twice a day, what else could anyone want. Before even walking through her door, you could hear the commotion of excitedly screaming females voices coming from inside.

There were about five other girls in Sarah's living room and she had invited them so Jeffrey could have a few different girls to choose from. Jeffrey looked at Sarah and smiled, aren't you sweet, as all the girls rushed to introduce themselves, hoping for the opportunities Sarah had offered them to come in the first place. We all had some coffee and biscuits while the conversation kept getting louder and louder, every girl trying to talk over the next one. Jeffrey could handle only so much of that before getting too annoyed. Instead of choosing one of the other new girls, Jeffrey wanted Sarah to show Nadia and I into her bedroom. He was anticipating the introduction of his two favorite girls together, what mischief he had hoped we would get up to was apparent when he asked where Sarah had kept her play toys and not the Fisher Price ones. Sarah brought out quite a collection of her personal toys and was giggling on her way out as she shut the door.

Suddenly the room behind us went quiet, probably hoping to catch a moan or groans too laugh at and I felt so degraded having everyone knowing exactly what was going on. Knowing my duties well I was baffled this time as there was no ritualistic massage wanted. He immediately instructed us to start kissing and fondling each other with the provided toys straight away seeing his excitement grow watching us try and out do the other one with pleasure, he couldn't keep restraint any longer and started to have intercourse with the both of us, taking his erect penis out of the other to only swap to the other girl, back and forth.

This continued for a good fifteen minutes or so while we continued to engage in lesbian acts on each other while the other girl was being subdued by Jeffrey's thrust's of penetration. Nadia was just as dutiful as I was in fulfilling his demented requests, willing to lend her body to Jeffrey and those he sent her too, for the sake of keeping her acting career and putting on a good act at that. She was never competition though. Once I found out where she actually came from I took pity on her for the similar life of servitude we were both accustomed to and not that we ever became good friends but we had reason to relate to each other.

Later on Jeffrey, Nadia and I went to a production studio in L.A, where we had to meet with Nadia's agent as well as the producer of "Days Of Our Lives". The meeting lasted five minutes, with everyone in consent to the proposal. We flew all the way out there to talk about money, only to be leaving that evening back to N.Y.C. On the way to the airport we stopped at a fifties looking diner and got a cheeseburger and vanilla milkshake, the first and only time I saw Jeffrey eat what I considered to be real food.

Seven lanes to drive in and the freeway was still lined bumper to bumper in the heavy rain. The sound of downpour on the rooftop of the taxi and the rhythm of the windshield wipers was making me sleepy. I was looking forward to sleeping through the long flight back. Thank goodness we had a private jet to catch back, the trip would be comfortable and not rushed to get there on time through the daily peak hour traffic. Jeffrey asked me what I thought of Nadia, more of a kiss and tell kind of thing for him, so proud to admit some of his tenacious acts of pedophilia to me that I knew most people would be embarrassed to even think aloud but I said what he wanted to hear when he asked me what I had thought of her on the way back. I replied, "She is attractive, funny, and seems to know what she is doing with you."

Laughing at my statement, he then started to tell me the history behind where he got her. Five years ago when she was merely a teenager just turned thirteen. Her father had recently passed away, leaving Nadia's mother in a tremendous amount of debt and living in a third world country, she didn't have the means necessary to raise her own daughter. When Ghislaine approached Nadia for the first time at a music school, she seemed like a maternal, caring stepmother. Telling Nadia's mother if she let Nadia go with her, she would see to it personally that Nadia receive the best education and chances in life to make it. In her customs it wasn't odd for a young girl to be married off to bring the family good fortune, so she kissed her baby girl good-bye and sent her off to commence her life of servitude.

I sat there speechless listening to Jeffrey brag about his endeavor to get her over here, shocked that he could stoop as low to use a barely teen to oblige his sexual desires. He was laughing and giddy as he replayed the memories of her arrival over in his head, painting me a horrific picture I had no choice but to imitate a smile to face him with. No pretty girl is safe from the allurement of these villains procuring the youth off of every street in the world. I knew that day more than ever before those morals did not exist for people like this.

Jeffrey once told me that every girl he has had sexual relations with has benefited in their career, finances, or an achievement in marriage with a successful colleague of his. Mine was the massage career, ever so often still giving me a lesson from a professional, which kept me quiet for a while longer. I thought I was already knee deep in this world, if I gave up after putting myself through all of this hell it would've all been be for nothing. So I treaded lightly, constantly at a risk of being replaced by another willing participant and playing the eager student he wanted me to be.

(End Ch. 8)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 9

We met Ghislaine and Emmy in NYC, and it wasn't a blissful reunion as I hoped for, wanting a break from all of this. I was just looking forward to getting back to Palm Beach and not leaving for a further four more days. I got home late in the evening as Jeffrey invited me out to the movies after we had relaxed at his house for a while after landing. I put my keys through the door to my apartment and walked in to a quiet house. Not thinking anyone was at home I set my suitcase on the floor and put my cell phone on charge as I always did to be accessible for whenever Jeffrey or Ghislaine could call. I went to get a drink out of the fridge when I heard some noises coming from the back of my apartment where my bedroom was.

I started back there and slowly turned my doorknob to reveal TJ on top of another girl. When they noticed they weren't alone anymore, TJ got off her with promptness. I recognized the girl from seeing her around at parties, and she was the town lowie, scattering her trail of guys along with her presumable diseases, and I wasn't shy to verbalize that when she tried to open her mouth and calm the heated situation between TJ and I. She didn't like her cards on the table in front of the guy she was screwing around with and got up in a fit of rage to attack me. Still nude with only my new white sheets to cover her body, I threw her out of my house along with TJ. "I have been paying your way for months, only finding out your sleeping with the biggest **** in Royal Palm Beach, at least have some dignity and higher your standards." I didn't really have a leg to stand on since I had started this relationship giving him the knowledge I had a sugar daddy to answer to above him.

"You're gone all the time and with that old man, what did you expect me to do"? He was right, I wanted what I couldn't have, but I needed some time to cool down and accept my situation. I loved having TJ around to come home too, and he used to be my best friend in my school days. I convinced myself of the lies I continued to accept.

Days later I was still not speaking with TJ, mentally adjusting to my circumstances. I thought I'd have the day off to relax since I hadn't been called all day, until about five pm when Ghislaine called and said Jeffrey would like a massage in an hour. Grudgingly I got up from relaxing on the couch, got dressed and put my make-up on, meeting Juan downstairs a half an hour later. Jeffrey was already lying on the massage table when I walked in. I started the massage being very quiet from my somber mood, when Jeffrey picked up on it and said "you know it's not good to massage people when you're angry, you could pass on negative energy". I wasn't sure if he was serious or just trying to be nice so I could speak about what was bothering me. Ending up not being able to contain my emotion any further I told him what happened with TJ and broke down in tears, a little heart broken from living in such a lie.

He turned around from his massage and sincerely paused for a second thinking he was going to console me, but instead he laughed at the very prospect of my notion that monogamous relationships ever existed. "Are you serious, he was only doing what every guy in the world does, you can't hold that against him." I replied in a lighthearted gesture, "Whose side are you on anyways?” His answer stuck with me for many years to come: ''I'm on your side which is why I'm going to save you a lot of grief with this one tip, Never expect a man to be faithful and you'll never be let down, it's just the way us men are genetically imprinted."

The remainder of the massage I had to pretend like I wasn't further saddened by his response, but in fact having to act enlightened. I would never come to him for any other relationship advice, ever again. He told me I'd be fine if I just listened to my mentor. He still loved role-playing the teacher and me the pupil, like the old days before he got rich and only used to be a college professor. I finished the massage and fulfilled my sexual duties before being sent home wanting to collapse in anguish.

TJ was outside my apartment door when I got there, his mom waiting downstairs in her minivan just in case I kicked him out again. He pleaded his guilt and promised that he would never see her again, agreeing with me that she was the town **** and he screwed up big time. I let him back into my apartment and back into my life for that matter but more aware of the world I was being led into believing was of normal conduct accepted by everyone in this sick world.

Jeffrey was going back to NYC and told me to have a few days off before his assistant at his office would arrange an E-Ticket on a commercial flight for me to join him later in the week. I had just made loads of money from my previous trip and wanted to relax like any teenager does, so I threw a hotel party that weekend on Singer Island in Rivera Beach, inviting only a small group of friends to begin with. The hotel room quickly filled up with a flood of teens and the pumping music was blaring. The room had a balcony overlooking the pool and the beach that became the smoker's section. I wasn't a real smoker at that point, preferring to have a puff of a spiffed blunt instead so I made it my rule to go outside trying to prevent holes in the carpet, but it didn't last too long when our forbidden walls came tumbling down. Making so much money that I could supply my wild parties with an assortment of drugs like trips, ecstasy, and coke as well as an abundance of alcohol, that TJ had all the contacts for, made my fellow teens admire me. It definitely gave me a head swell, thinking here I was so young but so grown up already with all of my peers from high school looking up to me.

In the wee hours of the morning we were all still going hard with our eyes dilated into little black diamonds. We were all having in depth conversations about life and where we would all end up when this charade was all said done. Nobody got to sleep that night as the room slowly dwindled in numbers as people were finding their way home to recover from the repercussions of drugs wearing down out of their intoxicated system.

When I flew out to NYC to meet Jeffrey the next day, I was still in a horrible state. Not knowing what was wrong with me, thinking it was just a bad come down, I rushed out of the elevator and down the hall to my room, sweating profusely, to make it just in time to the toilet to throw up bile again for the uncountable time since getting off the plane. I was having intense cramps in my stomach and when I was called down to meet Jeffrey in the massage room, I had to decline for the first time. I told the housekeeper that I was feeling very ill after the flight, maybe some off food for lunch and needed to lie down for a while. Nobody came up to check on me for hours or even called.

Waking up from my much-needed nap, I pulled back the expensive white sheets to find myself in a pool of my own sweat and blood. I was covered in the red stains that drenched the pants I was wearing. I had no idea what was going on, I could only focus on the dire amount of pain I was in. In between the heaves of throwing up and crying simultaneously I was able to reach the phone and called the housemaid on the intercom. I told her I needed to go to a hospital immediately and slammed the phone down only to fall back to the floor hurdled in a ball.

She didn't hesitate in calling Ghislaine who ran up to see what was wrong. Ghislaine then called Jeffrey who was in his office at the time and told him to hurry up to my level, stressing to him that it was an emergency. Thinking they really cared about me for the first time since I had known them, they came with me to the hospital with me. Now I realize I was only a liability in getting them caught and they needed to get to the doctors before I could say anything incriminating. They were suspecting the worst now and seeing he never wore a condom with me and from our previous conversations they knew I always made TJ wear one, they feared the situation at hand. When he saw the catastrophic state I was in at that point, it was the housemaid who helped me get up and assisted me down to the car where Jo-Jo was waiting for me. He drove us to either Lennox Hill Hospital or Mount Sinai, I can't remember, as it was so blurry in such a bad condition. Rushed in for immediate testing I was uncontrollably vomiting and in so much agony, I was given an injection to help me to subside the intense pain. A nurse came in to ask who would pay for this and although I insisted my parents insurance still covered me, Jeffrey persisted that he take care of all the medical bills and gave the nurse his information.

(Page 593 missing)

Case 18-2868, Document 278, 08/09/2019, 2628230, Page594 of 648

What was really cool about it though, was you could see through the mesh and watch fish swimming underneath. The rest of the afternoon we spent by the pool reading magazines and eating fruit plates. Eventually he went to his cabana to have a nap later on. That night after dinner and my mixed cocktail of Xanax and red wine, I asked if he'd like another massage before I went to bed. He just wanted to stay up watching movies in Jeffrey's theatre room. As peculiar as that request was to me I didn't argue it, I just hoped I hadn't disappointed him in any way that could make it back to Jeffrey. I showed him how to use the remote and turn off the TV when he was finished before going to bed.

The next morning we were both catching a flight from St. Thomas and we had no time for anything other than breakfast and packing, which saved me from having to be too polite as we said our good-bye's from the tern1inal in the airport, both hurriedly off in separate directions, thankfully. I arrived back in Palm Beach, only to be told to catch another flight the next day to NYC, where Jeffrey would fix me up the money he owed me for treating his colleague out to an entertaining weekend.

(End Ch. 9)

[The Moss Trooper]

Heartbreaking/compulsive/sickening/fascinating/revealing/shocking/saddening.


Thank you for posting this Bluegreen.

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 10

I was fixed up more than what I had usually made for two days, which was great because that car I had been saving for was finally within my reach. I had been waiting for the freedom a car gives every teenager for a long time, and now that I had over fifteen thousand dollars saved up I could pretty much afford to go buy myself a nice car outright. Looking much better than the last time I saw him, Jeffrey acknowledged it. I went to his office where he was waiting for me and he had a guest with him.

She was unusual looking to the common stereotype drop dead gorgeous girls Jeffrey had normally introduced me to. Of Asian decent, her name was Rena. Jeffrey had met her at an art gallery where some of her own artwork was on display. She had a bubbly persona about her and I could then understand why Jeffrey liked her so much, she fit into the subservient category that he liked his girls to fall under. It was apparent to me that they had already slept together in the short time span they had met, as there closeness was oddly noticeable and I wondered what it was he was offering to her in exchange for her body. I found out later from Jeffrey that he was buying her artwork, promising her the world as an artist, telling her he'd have her work in the all the museums in N.Y.C and the best art exhibits. Everyone was promised something, and seemed to be bought off in someway or another to be in his company. It was only a matter of time that the truth would come out.

To my own amazement Rena was to be assisting me in Jeffrey's massage this day, not being a total knockout or anything spectacular, looks wise that is, but for some reason he seemed intrigued enough. As we made our way through his spectacular mansion she was in total awe at every corner. Commenting on the present artwork and decor that we passed in every hall, it no longer seemed so grandeur to me anymore but hearing someone else speak about it in such excitement reminded me of the days when all of this seemed so unforeseen.

When we got to the massage room, or "The Dungeon" as I used to put it for it's medieval looking appearance, we firstly out of custom all had a steam shower, where Jeffrey expected me to walk her through a servants duties, telling her to take his other foot and slowly rubbing in small circles and stroking the arches of his foot rhythmically. Rena took the instructions well and began to massage him too. When we all went to the shower next and she followed in my exact lead washing his body as well. Jeffrey absolutely loved the fact that two teenage girls were dually pampering him. Jeffrey wanted to move to the massage bed and I had to further begin to show her about the body, upon his accord. She mimicked my every move up his legs and buttocks, keeping up with every stroke until he could not contain his arousal any longer and was already requesting us to start kissing each other, the start of the very reason we had even met in the first place.

He blatantly stopped the massage nowhere near being complete and turned over to announce his increased arousal in a physical abundance of grotesqueness. Moving over to the small couch in the corner of the room he made a space for her to lie me down on the massage table as she had commanded him to do in such a domineering tone that he wasn't used to being spoken down to with. From that very moment onward, and from the look on his face, he was yearning for her to orchestrate an hour of deliverance upon my meek nature. He started to stroke his erect manhood as he was being tantalized watching her take over every inch of my body in a dominating act of seduction. I was left breathless and soar after my first introduction into the world of S&M.

Rena considered herself a dominatrix, she loved bondage, whipping, hitting, and eventually cutting her sex partner with little sharp knives until they subdued to her punishment in agonizing pain. She was absolutely crazy if you were to ask me, and I couldn't help but wonder what got her into this in the first place. All I knew was that Jeffrey was absurdly taking into the appeal of watching us two interact, often with her acting as my mistress who would fondle me with an insurmountable amount of whips and toys. Then she would love to finish off every session by hitting me across my face with a hard blow from the back of her hand and sneering over my curled up body showing Jeffrey her ability to make others surrender to her extreme force.

She could be so opposite all of a sudden, and be tenderly intimate with Jeffrey stroking his penis lovingly and even speaking in baby talk to him, which he seemed to adore. He loved us pairing up so much that within months he made Rena an official even renting her an apartment at the same place he had one for me during my extensive trips out to N.Y.C. Sending us out shopping together at all of the underground seedy sex stores downtown we would bring him back thousands of dollars worth of sexy outfits, sex toys and bondage material. His favorite one was a black leather studded collar that lead down the back of my spine to cuff my hands and feet together, offering Rena the most compromising positions to wield her afflictions, one she was excited to pick out for my usage.

She was good at eradicating my softer side though. Helping me forge an unpredictable scenario of me turning the tables on her, making her at my will instead of me always being at her twisted discretion. Jeffrey loved the rivalry between us, both striving to dominate the other one but to me it was just another way of surviving her punishment. All for show, I thought, she was a madwoman let loose in a torturous domain of violent sex and unbearable beatings. I wasn't sure how long I could hold off this charade of S & M, I just didn't want Jeffrey to think I couldn't give him everything that she could, always being replaceable in his company.

She and I could often come across as good friends to his blind eye but it was only a matter of time before the animosity inside of me was going to snap. Doing normal things too made it all half bearable. Having a lot of similar interests we did fun things like go to the theatre to watch "Phantom of the Opera" or visit several historical and art museums together, afterwards treating ourselves for a giant piece of greasy NYC style pizza. Like I said, we really liked each other purely as friends but the dominance in the massage chambers was taking it's toll on our strange friendship.

One average trip back to NYC, she surprised Jeffrey with a six foot by six-foot oil painting of her and I lying nude in a yin and yang position facing each other. Although we were soliciting each other with sexual innuendo the picture was still very carefully orchestrated to perfectly portray the darker side of Jeffrey's thrills. It was an amazing piece of work, besides the lewdness of it, but she would've known that's exactly what kind of art Jeffrey liked. He was so astounded by her gift as he had previously asked her to construct a small painting of us together but was not expecting anything of this grand magnitude she had presented him with. He lifted her from the ground and twirled her around before he thanked her profusely and embellished her with his profound gratitude, the only thing Jeffrey had to offer, he handed her a small wad of cash as her payment. It was the most appreciation I had ever seen him show a girl.

Obviously moved by her gesture, he got her an exhibit in NYC's "Metropolitan Museum of Art" where she submitted her very own piece. She sculpted an image of my headshot out of clay, shaping it with the strands of my long hair blowing across my face. I was taken aback myself at her creation. She really did have an amazing talent, and if not for her meaner streak she would've been a great friend. I will never forget Rena, for all of the ups and the downs we endured together.

It wasn't too much longer before I finally had enough of the abuse in the bedroom and I had to tell Jeffrey what I was feeling. She was getting even more violent as time went on, and with her questioning me and Jeffrey why she didn't get brought on long trips with him, she didn't get the fact that she was just a tool for him to use. Jeffrey said he was already thinking about getting rid of her off of his "regular list". He said she was becoming too clingy and he didn't like c1inginess or jealousy. I never even got to say good-bye or take the opportunity to keep her as a friend, like a girlfriend to catch up with once and awhile, but that's how it was with Jeffrey, one day you sat under the blanket of his comfortably and the next without any warning you could be discarded like yesterdays news. She would've taken it hard but that's the game we were playing and it was for those who knew what lines not to cross.

I was further surprised the next day when Jeffrey gave me a thousand dollars to go shopping in downtown Manhattan to find a classy dress, on top of being sent to the exclusive beauty salon of celebrity stylist "Frederic Fekkai" for a new look. It was amazing, to be pampered like royalty. I walked out of there feeling like I had replaced a young girl with a young woman, I felt beautiful. He had yet another surprise in store for me. Ghislaine called me and told me I need to go to a photo-developing store and ask them for two ID photos then bring them downtown to Jeffrey's Manhattan office. Weird request I thought. I was more used to posing in full body shots being sexually exposed as a gift for Jeffrey. I did as they asked and took my two photos into the office where Jeffrey's assistant was waiting for my arrival. Still not telling me what the headshots were for, she took them from me and told me to have a seat for a second.

A moment later I heard Jeffrey call me into the office. "I like what you've done with your hair, you've gone more blonde, suits your glowing tan." I replied with an appreciative "thank-you" for sending me to such a renowned hairstylist, and shopping money. I showed him my finds for the day, an elegant off the shoulder navy blue dress that had two layers that would swoosh and sway with my every stride. I couldn't wait to wear it on a special occasion, and I wouldn't have to. The pictures I had to bring to him, as he would proceed to tell me, were for my first passport.

I was so excited, we were going to France for a close friend of Jeffrey and Ghislaine's birthday party, famed super-model Naomi Campbell.

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

I was so over-joyed with excitement, what girl my age with a background like mine was attending socialite parties and globetrotting the world. It only made it harder for me to see beyond the elusive walls I had put up to protect myself from the appalling truth. We left in early April first going to London, Paris and then our final destination being St. Tropez in Southern France. If Hallmark had a postcard, St. Tropez would definitely be on the front of it. It was beautiful spring weather and every where you looked women were dressed in bikini tops branded with some kind of designer label embedded into it and the men were following them around like harping dogs in heat. In all of the elegance of the Mediterranean, "La Bastide De St. Tropez" was an impressive landmark.

Jeffrey and Ghislaine were staying in one of the private cottages, on the park on the grounds, while Emmy and I stayed in separate quarters inside the hotel. The old style cobblestone streets were lined with boutique shops and beauty parlors. It was the hedonistic stomping grounds of the beyond rich and famous. The next day we went out to lunch at the grand opening of the infamous Nikki Beach Club, where a cheap glass of champagne costs around two hundred dollars and if you're not keeping the alcohol consumption flowing like water, you'd be asked to leave to make way for the constant flow of prospectus patrons.

That's where I first got to meet Naomi Campbell. She was wearing the typical attire strutting around southern France, a D&G bikini top and a wrap around mini skirt to go over the swimsuits bikini. She was so tall and stunningly beautiful. Her charisma was energetic, funny, and everyone seemed to hang off of her every word and laugh at her every joke. Ghislaine and Jeffrey kissed her cheeks and wished her a happy birthday, and then I was introduced and followed in their suit. She was surrounded by a league of assistants, friends and fans, which didn't make it easy for us to all converse but she got enough time in to invite us abroad a yacht of a fellow she was "kind of seeing" at the time for the before party ahead of tonight's event.

We went back to the hotel and I gave Jeffrey a massage in his room before we all headed down to the pool to soak in some of the year's first sun's rays. I loved wearing my new ball gown and feeling like a princess. It was absolutely sensational and made me feel as if I floated in the dress. I swept up my long hair in a twisted clip, only letting down a few curly strands and layered on the mascara. Receiving many compliments throughout the evening when we eventually left the Yacht to make our appearance at the main birthday bash, I couldn't help but feel excitement for the party to come it was the first celebrity birthday bash 1 had ever been to. Being introduced to model after model and the rich men that followed them around became dizzying. Jeffrey sat back and watched as I buoyantly worked the dance floor, coming back to the table where he was, only to grab another glass of champagne every now and then. Every so often he'd introduce to me to someone new, pulling me aside to show off his eager young masseuse to his fellow pedo's.

These people had so much money pouring out of them. I don't know why he even thought they'd care in the first place. It made me feel good, though. At least I knew I made him proud to have me in his company. Being surrounded by so many of Jeffrey's colleagues and his like-minded people that were considered the most sophisticated and the highly esteemed of today's world nearly made the way I was living lately more fathomable, at least to myself. I thought if everyone looks up to these people and they are all accepting of it, it must be just the way the world turns.

I danced with a young prince that night and with all of the help from the bubbly champagne I couldn't remember his name for the life of me. On one of my trips back to the table for another glass, Jeffrey leaned over to quietly whisper in my ear that it was a prince that I had actually been dancing with and it didn't phase me in the least way. I went back to the dance floor and continued to let my hair down. It was a fun bash, the entire crowd sang "Happy Birthday" to Naomi and by the time we got back in the car to retreat for the night, I was giddy from the drinking and dancing all evening. We had a guest in the car, and apparently we had already been introduced, but I couldn't even remember his name in the first five minutes of our meeting again. He was the hotel owner of some large chain in America called "Hilton". Staying at one of the cottages near Jeffrey, he saw it quaint to loan me out for a night's massage to ruin an "almost" perfect evening. Jeffrey told me to come back to his room after I was finished with Rick, thankfully he reminded me of his name but also odd I thought, being so late I would've never imagined Jeffrey could stay up this late but I never made a fuss out of his requests.

I gave him affirmation of my understood instructions and headed off with this stranger into the darkness. I dimmed the bright lights in his bedroom to a softer tone as if it might aid the vision of this short, balding man with straggling remnants of curly brown hair left to show for the remaining bits of youth left in him. I had to ask him to undress and lay on top of the towel that I had picked up from the neatly folded pile at the end of his bed and spread it over the duvet. I didn't want to waste a second in his place, getting right to the very reason I was even there. Turning around while he was getting undressed, being our first time together, I wanted to give him the impression I was actually a therapist and not a finale to the end of the nights entertainment.

Not exactly what he had in mind though, given that my impression was already made for me when Jeffrey arranged for our meeting in the first place. His chuckle to my response was condescending as he came up behind me and unzipped my dress which floated to the bottom of the floor as he was saying "You can't really expect to give a massage wearing this, here sweetie, I'll help you out of it." He just wanted to see the hidden bounty my clothes were hindering his eyes from seeing.

I went about my way trying to get his hands off of me and to get him to lie down for a massage. Making quaint conversation with him was pointless as I was trying to send his thoughts elsewhere other than the apparent perverted schemes replaying in his mind from the heavy breathing he was making and the looks he was giving to me. I was using all of the tricks in the 'turn-off' book even asking him about his wife and kids. Unquestionably he was in seventh heaven, turning everyone of my distractions into another flattering compliment. He was saying things like "I love what you do you to me, I have never felt like this before, come stay with me and I will pay you double, no, triple whatever Jeffrey pays you!"

Knowing he was just a drunk idiot, I wasn't being lured in by any of his offers of money or a privileged lifestyle, I knew these cages all too well and I was better off sticking with the one that I was at least accustomed to already. Holding back any composure now, he was going extremely wild ravishing at my body trying to tear off my panties like a hungered wild animal. After all of the champagne I had drunk that night it gave me the nerve that I needed to know exactly how to handle perverts like this one, who had been no different from every other shmuck in my life, and I quickly shut him up with a blowjob lasting no longer than two terrible minutes.

It had only been shy of a half an hour before I was already getting quickly get dressed and hurrying out his cottage door. When I got to Jeffrey's cottage I rushed through the door and told Jeffrey and Ghislaine, who were sitting front of the fireplace reading books, that I never ever wanted to see that guy ever again. When they asked me what was the matter, I told them of every thing that had happened that night even how he offered me to come work for him getting paid triple. I established a lot of trust with Jeffrey that night. He asked me why I didn't accept the offer and I responded with" Who would look after you, if I were gone?" Like a caring grand father would do, he pulled me into his chest for a hug and told me that it meant a lot to him.

It was so late and I was so tired but I still had to give Jeffrey his massage that night. He asked me to just rub his feet as he fell asleep, and thankfully he was out like a light in no time. The next morning I took two headache tablets and a ginger ale instead of a coffee. Trying to contain my hangover as best as possible behind a pair of sunnies it was mid afternoon by the time I had felt like myself again. We spent the day yacht hopping, soaking in the sunny weather while Jeffrey and Ghislaine caught up with old acquaintances, Emmy and I were just accessories to look good on the arms of them.

The next day we wrapped up the tail end of our trip and commenced our flight back into the U.S. I was paid a generous amount and set off to go car shopping as soon as I got back to Florida. Through a private seller, I was able to pay outright for my car. I got a Dodge Dakota in cherry red, and immediately had an impressive sound system put in. She was my first pride and joy and taste of freedom. I would love to drive her down to Lakeworth Beach to sit in my car and watch the waves while I listened to my stereo blare music and puffed on a jay. Letting the rest of the world pass by while I sat back and watched them walk past wondering to myself what their story was about.

I turned seventeen that summer and had accumulated a string of exotic destinations that I had traveled to in such a short time.

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

[...] I was given more make-up and a pair of diamond earrings from Jeffrey. Ghislaine only wished me a happy day, wondering at times if she felt threatened by Jeffrey's and my closeness. We went to the island after we left NYC and I asked If Sarah would be meeting us, mentioning it had been a while since we had last seen her. He said he had some bad news about her.

Expecting the worse, thinking she had gotten hurt or something, I was astounded when Jeffrey told me that she had been sent to his island with one of his friends for a couple days and when the housekeepers were cleaning her room and they found a stash of cocaine left out carelessly in the bathroom. He said he had no choice but to let her go. Addicts with no respect for themselves or his wishes had no leeway in Jeffrey's book. He didn't mind that I dabbled in drugs once in a while as long as I never brought them along with us on any trips, except for my Xanax, which he didn't mind because it was pharmaceutical and most of all wouldn't cause him trouble being a legal narcotic. Sarah took it too far when she crossed international borders with an illegal drug, risking her welfare and almost costing Jeffrey public attention. She lost her apartment and contacts in the acting world, only hearing from acquaintances once in a while that she was sinking deeper and deeper into the black hole of addiction. It was sad to find out, as I always did like her.

At the island, Ghislaine had just recently obtained her helicopter pilot's license and wanted to get some practice airtime and flew Jeffrey and I to St. John where we picked up Alexandria Cousteau, the grand daughter to the inventor of the scuba tank and underwater explorer Jacques Cousteau. Ghislaine was out to set us afright in the air, but it was all talk, she was actually an impressive pilot. Still a daredevil though, she got her kicks out of hearing us fret on the earmuffs intercom's. Jeffrey made it clear that Alexandria was a guest when I was told to adhere to her if she wanted a massage, which I obliged her with several times during our first meeting. It was Jeffrey who instigated that her and I reenact as lovers in lesbian acts of foreplay and penetration. I couldn't imagine a girl with such high prospects lowering herself to something of Jeffrey's standards, but I later found out through Jeffrey that he had donated money to her continuous exploration into marine life and habitats. She had followed in her family's footsteps, all of them involved in Marine Biology in some way or another.

We actually got along really well, she was a real decent girl, and loved talking about her passion, everything underneath the waters surface. When I wasn't busy giving massages to everyone around, her and I would hang out together, often going swimming in the crystal clear pool of ocean that the Caribbean had to offer. Once we swam out so far not paying attention to our location and were carried out to sea by the current. We took turns on the backs of each other, taking breaks against the strong ocean tide. It was almost a possibility that we nearly drowned out there, if it weren't for some guys on a boat out fishing for the day when they caught us in their view. They picked us up and brought us back to the island where we were reprimanded by a worried Jeffrey and Ghislaine to first of all let someone know where we are going at all times, and never to lose sight of the shore while out for a swim.

After that learning experience I took their heed and proceeded with caution. I had a newfound respect for the ocean and it's mysteries. Having such a lover of the water as a guest, made Jeffrey want to explore parts of his Caribbean he had never seen before.

The next morning we were met by a scuba instructor in St. James and given a few lessons in how to use the gear and more tips like how to descend slowly to the ocean floor as not to cause blood clots as well as visual hand signals to communicate underwater. It was so exhilarating beneath the waters surface. No voices to listen to, only the enchanting sights to take in. We explored the surrounding reef and found a large squid, many sea urchins, and the magnificent colored coral that housed many of the rich variety of the local species of fish. It was such a great sight to take in. Holding a permanent mental picture of those adventures to carry in my head for all times. We all had such a great time that Jeffrey hired the same scuba instructor to come out the next day to scuba dive the safer parts around his island. We got bored quickly with not much to see but seaweed and a fish here and there.

It didn't take long before Ghislaine decided for us all to explore other numerous locations by boat, Jeffrey needed a bit of convincing at first and the instructor was quick to assure him that he knew his way well around these waters, of course he would say that, he was getting paid a hell of a lot to do this in the first place, why not extend it a few more hours? The clear water glistened and the tropical array of marine life was on display as we wanted to stop at so many places, but you could see it could be equally dangerous. It took so long as we had to veer away from so many desirable spots. Finally we found a good place that the scuba instructor thought was safe. He buddied us up into pairs and we jumped off the back of the boat into the crystal aqua blue waters beginning our descent slowly into the darker regions of the oceans floor. We were situated on open water with a cave of reefs to venture in and around down below. It seemed to be quite a choice to scuba in, one that our guide said he wasn't familiar with but to alleviate his bored clientele deemed safe to swim around.

It was Jeffrey and the Guide together, Ghislaine and Emmy, and I was paired up with Alexandria. Miles, the houseman, came with us and stayed on the boat just in case something went wrong and lucky he did. We were all too far under the water to hear his alarming screams of distress when shadows lurking in the murky distance started appearing closer and closer. Ghislaine actually looked frightened for once as she gave us the signal to start ascending upwards, reminding us by holding her ears not to go up too quick or we could pop a blood vessel in our brain and hemorrhage to death, not a very lovely image but neither was getting torn apart by sharks.

Those giant shadows became clearer and soon enough we could recognize their indistinct species as the terrifying and more aggressive breed of sharks, the hammerhead. Grabbing Miles hand, I was the last one ahead of the Guide to get on the boat imaging the worst as I waited behind Emmy and Alexandria who were the next to follow after Jeffrey and Ghislaine.

I was in too much shock to scream or cry, I just told myself I had to stay calm to get out of this alive. Unlucky for us we found out later on that we were in their breeding territory and being sent a clear message that we were soon to be on the menu to their feeding frenzy. We all felt like we had cheated death and I know it wasn't only my heart that was still beating out of my chest when we headed back to Jeffrey's island. Jeffrey was pale as his designer sheets and looked like he had aged another ten years in such a scared state. Ghislaine took the heat off herself even barely taking a notice of beforehand and decided to poke fun at all of us frantically scurrying to get out of the water, it was just her nature, as I had never seen her move so quickly either. We got back to the island and all collapsed our fatigued bodies in our own beds for a long nap.

Freshened up and much more relaxed we regaled our horrendous story again over dinner, this time in laughter. The following afternoon Ghislaine piloted us all in the helicopter to St. John's Airport and we said good-bye to Alexandra where we all parted ways. I met her a few more separate times in Palm Beach at Jeffrey's Mansion, but she wasn't a regular of his, probably not as easy as the troubled girls were to bribe.

(End Ch. 10)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 11

Throughout the remainder of the quickly passing year I was on a constant move with Jeffrey, attending various dinner parties, mostly with other esteemed billionaires and widely acclaimed scientists. Jeffrey likes to surround himself with the most brilliant and powerful of minds, filling his little black book with some of the most esteemed and even infamous people in today's wealthy society.

It was during those intellectual gatherings that my body was also put on the banquet menu but this time for a powerful senator George Mitchell and another prominent Nobel-Prize winning scientist whose name would be mentioned but for all the life of me can no longer remember. They would be only some of the recognizable figures of the high society that became added to my list of clientele, of course being introduced to for a lot more than just a client of massage.

As an amusement to Jeffrey's associates I also knew my place was to entertain but not to every desired content. I was to show them a good time but not the way I would have to use technique and effort for Jeffrey. The very teachings from Jeffrey himself, or my tutor, as he liked to so eloquently put it. Consistently being used and adored for the likeliness of my youthful looks I was becoming very accustomed to my lifestyle with Jeffrey, never really relaxing into it, but just accepting this as being as good as it will ever get for me. I didn't think I should be complaining, wasn't I being offered a life in exchange for servitude? Just letting the signs of my anxiety and depression pass me by while I blanketed them with my pills, suffocating under a blanket of pain is all I was really doing.

I spent Christmas and the New Years holidays with Jeffrey in NYC, who doesn't celebrate the occasion, as he is of Jewish descent. Not that he was a religious man anyways, I never even saw him celebrate Hanukkah either. We firstly stayed at his ranch in Santa Fe for a week, then left for a long plane trip to Paris, France where we all suffered jet lag for the next twenty four hours. We all stayed in a grand hotel with a view the Champs' Elyse. Emmy and I shared a room and with her gifted ability to make new contacts in just a few hours, she brought out a jay to share on the rooftop at nighttime while we were overlooking the lit up Eiffel Tower. We never got really close as buddies but we both knew what we were indebted to and felt each other's sorrows. All four of us went out shopping at Chanel, D&G, Ralph Lauren, and many other little exclusive boutiques the following afternoon. As a gift Jeffrey bought me a white terry clothed goose feathered sofa and had it sent back to my apartment in Florida, and bought some new tapestries to have sent back to Santa Fe for his ranch.

We also visited his up and coming Paris apartment. It was a modern, typical flat being refurbished, and we went to see how it was all looking. Jeffrey liked to fuss about every detail and harass the builders about their work, changing last minute details at a whim. Days and many croissants later we left for Spain feeling bloated and sleepy. We only stayed in Spain for the afternoon, going to see another astounding Moroccan castle for Jeffrey to replicate at one of his many mansions. It was only a short plane ride to Tangier, Africa for more castle hopping.

We arrived at the historic landmark and the only five star hotel in Tangier called El Minzah in the village of Ville Nouvelle. The city and outskirts were still very hostile at the time, females being warned to not walk the streets alone and not to leave the house after dark or be at risk of being raped or worse. When we got to the room, it was oozing with every expected bit of extravagance that a luxurious historical palace should offer until I was greeted with a pile of monkey poo in the very middle of my bed. Not a happy camper, I called Jeffrey, Ghislane and Emmy into my adjoining room and they all had quite a good laugh at my expense.

Within a moments notice of a complaint call to the front desk and we had an attendant cleaning up my bed linen. The cleaner noticed the window was still opened, he warned not to leave it ajar at nighttime just in case another monkey wanted to make himself comfortable in my quarters. Ghislaine joked that maybe I should keep it open I might find a suitable husband before I get any older.

Always the instigator of a good joke but unable to take one herself she didn't like when I poked back that it was more in her recent taste of men, since she loved to brag about her rendezvous with her various lovers. Once she came back giddy as a schoolgirl with an explosion of news, with all the build up and excitement in her voice you'd think she was the next crown princess, but she had given George Clooney a blowjob in the bathroom at some random event, she never let that one down.

We all went to explore the towns surrounding Moroccan castles and meet the royalty that lived in them. Jeffrey's personal interior designers met us at the residences. They walked around hurriedly, scribbling notes into their clipboards and whispering between themselves. The palaces were historically unique and beautiful but I wondered how could they live so grandeur behind these walls when they lived in a city of such poverty stricken squabble. Beggars lined the streets, people could just go missing and no one could care less, and you heard of barbaric murders happening every night. Against the advice of the Palace Attendant and Jeffrey's wishes, I decided to take a stroll one afternoon, mainly just to take photos of exotic Africa and do some shopping in the village markets but I ended up being intrigued by a group of young children playing in the streets.

When I was noticed watching them, about fifteen of them came up to me and began to beg for money and food. I was over taken by the poor, hungry children and I felt sad for them all and wished I could help out somehow. When the tide of kids washed away and the street went empty, I was overcome with intrigue at these two little boys. Brothers I found out later on, and their only toy was an empty can they were kicking to each other in the middle of the street. Intelligent kids, they were able to speak three different languages, including English and I was interested to ask them about life here. They didn't seem to notice or be bothered by their poverty stricken lives. They told me about their school and parents and I thought I had just heard the saddest story ever but they were accustomed to living like that like I had been so accustomed to my degrading lifestyle for so long. I was compelled to empty out the contents of my purse, giving them over two thousand dollars in U.S currency. A passer-by snapped a photo of the kids and me for myself to take home as a personal souvenir before they rushed home to proudly show there parents the money.

I told Jeffrey later on of my good deed and he couldn't believe I'd give away my money so carelessly. He told me I had set up their parents with enough money to feed and shelter their family for a year. Wasn't that a good thing? I couldn't believe it, not that I was well off or anything close too it, but to realize how lucky I was and to not have compassion for the lesser off, especially children of a third-world country, I wouldn't be human anymore. Then again what did I expect from someone who could numerously steal another man's daughter for the use of his own sexual pleasure with great ease.

We went out to lunch the following day with Jeffrey's team of designers to wrap things up and after Jeffrey's afternoon massage he went to the palace to have a nap. When I was all alone I thought I'd go see the culture of the local unique markets again and this time buy some trinkets to bring home. I got to sightseeing and took pictures of the legs of lamb hung over the blood drenched doorway over people's homes as to warn off evil spirits and the ghettos the local villagers called home. I walked into many of the market's stalls and saw the most peculiar antiques, such as weaponry with the blood of it's last victim stained on it's sharp blades and body pieces of various animals for the use of religious sacrifices. I was more interested in the different culture and respecting their ancient way of life with interest, instead of squinning like a tourist and getting grossed out. I thought it was so educational and enthralling, in fact, I ended up buying a few sacrificial trinkets to have sent to my apartment in Palm Beach. Not to say that I wasn't looking forward to getting back to the luxuries of western civilization, it was a bit like camping, fun and adventurous but equally dangerous and thrilling.

When we left for the final destination of our trip I was looking forward to eating normal food again, not one to stray for foreign dishes. I'm a more of a cheeseburger and pizza kind of girl, a true sign of my American heritage. We landed at the Heathrow Airport and greeted by a driver that would take us to Ghislaine's town house in London's central that Jeffey had recently bought and refurbished as a gift for her. Emmy said "Good-Bye" at the airport, leaving us to go to her hometown in the rural countryside nearby to visit family for a six-week holiday from work. It wasn't a very long drive before we were in the heart of the city and at Ghislaine's place. I thought it was a cheery townhouse that had character and the historical pub in front of it and cobblestone streets only added a unique charm to its presence. They were going out for dinner and invited me along with them but seeing I was so exhausted from all the traveling and looking a bit melancholy, I apologetically declined going out for dinner that evening, I rather would be taking a few pills to catch up on some needed sleep. "Are you sure you're okay"? Ghislaine asked as she showed me to my room, more considerate than she normally was but I assured her that I was in absolute good health, just tired from all of the recent jet lag.

Without another word said she whisked off downstairs, to the car where Jeffrey was waiting for her.

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

I took the liberty to call my parents house to say "Hello" and catch up with them since I hadn't been home at all for the holiday season this year, always too busy working. They sounded really happy to hear from me and my mom put me on the phone to talk to my brothers as well. I got to tell them about my travels abroad and I had some cool tribal stuff from Africa that I bought for them. They sounded so proud of me, all of them, and why shouldn't they be? In everyone's mind I was making great money, traveling the world, and meeting new faces everywhere I went, why should I spoil anyone's delusions, especially mine. I took my sleeping tablets and had a bath before falling into a deep and much needed sleep.

The next morning I was woken up by Ghislaine who I could tell was in a chirpy mood by the way she paraded through my closed door saying "Wake-up sleepy head" and opened the window's shutters to let in the bright sunlight, she had never done anything like this before and I knew immediately something big was happening. She sat down on my bed as I rolled over from my deep slumber and I was able to mutter for an explanation as to why she was awake so early. "Besides the fact it is ten o'clock in the morning and nearly time for brunch, we have a big day planned out for you today." She was waiting for my cue to ask her "What are we doing,” when I did, she responded with a convincing enthusiasm "We're going shopping for a new ensemble," she paused for a moment to build the suspense, before completing her sentence.

“To go dancing with a Prince of England this evening.”

Hoping it would be one of the younger generations, I was disappointed when she told me he was the Duke of York, Charles's younger brother Andrew. I looked at her with a fake surprised look, one I had to use on many occasions in my time with them, to give an impression of excitement. "What. .. wow!" I exclaimed with my gifted acting ability.

It is a sad realization but I had grown more accustomed to seeing people for their significance rather than the good qualities they possessed, and was able to grin & bear the thought of what I expected lay in store for me. Ghislaine and I left shortly thereafter for the many lanes of designer shops to choose from in London. Her pep talks to prepare me for my duties towards royalty went on and on, giving me the obscure impression I was something of importance, at least for more than an evening. "Make sure you're bubbly and energetic, nobody wants a dead horse" was one of the cheap tools she instilled me with. "Who knows where this could lead for you" was another.

As the day grew shorter my anxiety only heightened, anticipating the Prince's arrival and unable to decide on an outfit, I picked out three. Our last stop for the day was Burberry's for a nice handbag to compliment our chosen attire. We got back to her townhouse with still a couple hours spare to get ready. After trying on all three outfits and many mental debates with myself later, I decided on the pink mini-tee and dazzling pair of denims with horses embroidered into a pattern. It seemed a lot more my style and age group rather than the other two older looking sophisticated dresses I had picked out. I told myself I was going dancing at a club not to an opera.

As most young girls can be during their body changes into womanhood, I felt awkward, you know, big feet, freckles and body hair in unwanted places. They're things you just don't want when you're seventeen and then you see these iconic billboards of what femininity is supposed to represent and just don't fit into that picture, never feeling what we all are already ... absolutely perfect.

By the time I had got ready I was a nervous wreck, but trying to keep my cool on the outside was an act. I thought it'd be a good idea to take a few Xanax before the evening unraveled and my anxiety went through the roof. Jeffrey and I were sitting in the lounge room downstairs, waiting for Ghislaine to finish getting ready. The room was silent, only stillness in the air. I stared at the mural painted onto the wall that I was facing. It was an interesting piece of artwork. In great detail it illustrated a happy looking family sitting on a bench overlooking a pond that resided on a large piece of land with a beautiful home displayed. There were also hunting hounds and the hunters chasing a game of fox like the notorious "English Hunt Pieces" throughout history.

Jeffrey took notice of my enchantment into the picture and in a hushed voice proceeded to tell me that it was a portrait of Ghislaine's childhood, the part she could be proud of. I never realized how prominent her family's history was in England, apparently as to Jeffrey's attest, her Father was born of poor Jewish decent in Czechoslovakia, most of his family being killed upon Nazi invasion in 1939. Fleeing to join the British Army as a young man, he changed his name a few times and made a lot of contacts in the field. After the war, a newfound Robert Maxwell went into publishing using his army contacts to establish a business initially built upon publishing scientific books from occupied Germany.

In time, Maxwell acquired several British newspapers, among them the Daily Mirror, countering his wits against the likes of Rupert Murdoch along the way. However, whilst constructing his publishing empire, Maxwell compiled astronomical debts, and his equivocal financial dealings attracted the attention of governing authorities that judged him not to be looking out for his companies best interest and in the end it transpired that Robert Maxwell had been using proceeds from his employees pension funds to meet his financial debts, ruining the futures of thousands of employees.

Once an esteemed Member of Parliament and publishing mogul, Robert's body was found floating in the Atlantic Ocean after he was found to be missing from his yacht, the Lady Ghislaine (named after his favorite child), whilst cruising the Canary Islands in 1991.

Jeffrey went on to tell me that when her Father died she was inconsolable, and in a very bad state. He picked her up from the trenches of despair and took her under his wing, and it's there she has stayed comfortable ever since. To Ghislaine, his peculiar need to have so many woman around and even his taste in younger than legal ones didn't seem unconventional to her. It was her own Father who was deemed a womanizer and even took a second wife whilst still married to Ghislaine's mother. I would have never guessed this carefree, spirited, and vivacious woman had ever endured such sorrows. I couldn't help but look at her in a different light from then on, but not letting her know that I knew, to avoid any altercations between us.

Like clockwork Ghislaine came downstairs five minutes before Prince Andrew was to arrive, wearing a tight-fitted white wooly turtleneck singlet and a nice pair of loose fitting trousers. Looking elegant and casual at the same time, a very hard look to achieve but one Ghislaine had always easily mastered. They both seemed at ease poking fun at my obvious nervous state, just another ordinary night out for this extraordinary couple. The knock came at the door just after six o'clock in the evening. Ghislaine greeted him and the guard who would wait for his return in the car. She led him down the hall to where Jeffrey and I were sitting. We both stood up and Jeffrey shook his hand, while Ghislaine proceeded to introduce me and as I was taught by her was English custom, we both kissed on the cheek. We all sat down on the lounges for some tea and biscuits while conversing idle chitchat.

By the sounds of it, Ghislaine knew well of his recently divorced ex-wife Fergie, whom they were all taking turns in slandering for one reason or another. It was apparent there were some fresh wounds still lingering on and as good friends do, it was their way of helping him get over her. When his daughters were mentioned, Ghislaine and Jeffrey treaded lightly, only speaking highly of them, and offering their sympathy to the young ones. The conversation turned to a much lighter subject. Andrew wanted to know more about this young guest they had to join them out for dinner and dancing that evening and then the spotlight turned on me.

I was more nervous than I had ever been before a night out with someone, probably the build-up Ghislaine and Jeffrey had hyped this meeting up to be. To break the ice, she played her favorite guessing game ... "How old do you think Jenna is"? When Andrew guessed correctly, I was seventeen years old, she was surprised, thinking I could have passed for younger. "I guess we are going to have to trade you in soon" she laughed, always the first one to to throw in her quick-witted two bits, all of them chuckling along with her. Hardly a laugh at all, unknown to me at the time, his eldest daughter is only five years my junior. I was finding it hard to make much conversation in the beginning, just laughing when the occasion called for it, and keeping up with Andrew's constant glances in my direction, was all I could manage. The restaurant was a close drive for us with Andrew, his two guards and his driver following behind us.

I was seated next to the Prince for dinner and Ghislaine and Jeffrey next to each other, an evening pre-ordained.

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

I was supposed to flatter him with compliments and dote on his every word spoken, but I didn't even do that for Jeffrey blatantly, it would've felt awkward to act like a bimbo for him. Instead I remained calm, cool, and collected, hoping that my nervousness wouldn't spill out at any given moment. The next place we were going was much more my style, and I found it easier to relax. We pulled up next to a Nightclub called "Tramp", a members only nightclub, and one of the most exclusive haunts in the world for the rich and famous to be seen for the last forty or so years since it's doors first opened.

Andrew's guards waited outside while we all went in to hit the dance floor. Jeffrey being the social introvert that he was found the first available empty seat in the corner but facing the dance floor to spend the evening watching everyone else have fun and Andrew went to the bar to grab us all drinks. He came back with sparkling water for Jeffrey and a cocktail for the rest of us, already knowing that Jeffrey never drank alcohol. We downed our glasses and made our way to the crowded dance floor, where I had the Prince's utmost attention. Moving his hands across the curves of my body, not to shy away from the fact that he was in public, he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear and kissing my neck. I would just giggle not really knowing how to reply to an aging man with a bad smile and terrible moves, it would sound too much of a lie if I retaliated back about his swagger.

He was the most incredibly hideous dancer I had ever seen and couldn't help but laughing on the dance floor and shooting glances of embarrassment to Jeffrey and Ghislaine, who were having a good time laughing at my expense ... as they always did. After an hour of pelvic smashing to the DJ's pumping mixes we finally exited the floor, his royal highness was dripping with sweat and ready to embark onto a quieter scene where he said we could be alone, not knowing that it had already been arranged for all of us to meet back at Ghislaine's place but complied with his so called thoughtful request. I was so anxious about getting back to the townhouse, knowing what expectations I would have to not only have meet but also exceed in this case. Ghislaine and Jeffrey seemed impressed at my attempts to entertain his royal highness, so far giving him exactly what he wanted the impression that I idolized him. They told me that he really liked me and was having a great time, so far tonight.

When we got to the townhouse, his guards walked him to the door, staying to wait outside in the car. Ghislaine met him and brought him upstairs where Jeffrey and I were in the study. We all chatted in the hall for a few minutes and I was able to have Jeffrey snap a photo of us together, one that would cause much controversy for the Buckingham Palace in many years to come. The conversation didn't linger on much longer before Jeffrey and Ghislaine dispersed downstairs together, leaving me to my own sort of royal duties. They walked away giddy as if they were teenagers imposing on young lovers about to embark on a romantic evening.

Next to the study was the bathroom where I led him next. The room was dimly lit masking the light from showing the disparity in my eyes. It was a beige marble tiled floor with porcelain Victorian style bathtub in the middle of the room and nowhere near the size of Jeffrey's residences. I turned on the taps for the tub and the heat from the water began to steam up the small room. On the basin were aromatic oils, lotions and soaps, loving the scent of floral notes, I poured in the lavender bath oil. Trying to do the best of my youthfulness to try and act seductive, I gradually began to strip off my clothing, piece by piece, giving him time to savor the moment to come.

He loved every second of it as I went over to where he was waiting and watching, then began to undress him at a much quicker pace. We kissed and touched each other before submersing into the hot water, where we both continued to reenact foreplay. He was adoring my young body, particularly my feet, caressing my toes and licking my arches. That was definitely a first for me and I couldn't help but laugh. I hoped he didn't expect the same treatment back.

Through my recent experiences with Rena, I drew a line with extreme fetishes, especially ones that would involve my tongue and feet in the same sentence. It wasn't hard to get him wound up to the point where he just wanted to have the rest of me so we dried off from the cold and retired to my bedchambers for the longest ten minutes of my life. Moments later and without any real emotional attachment, he burst in ecstasy, leaving me to my own feelings of dismay. As relieved as I was to see the experience come to pass with him, it was finally sinking in that I would never be anything more than but a muse.

Still trying to ascertain a surreal dream a young girl once held but no longer the same girl I was no longer sure that the dream was even real anymore. In the whirlwind thrown together by wealth, power, and privilege I was but a grain of sand and felt helpless down the road I was naively being led down. When the real picture was unveiled, later in my life, I had nothing but memories filled with sorrow to remember of my teenage years.

Jeffrey, Ghislaine, and I left for the States to conclude our long journey home to the USA. I was so happy when we landed on our soil and called TJ from my cell phone to see if he'd meet me at the airport instead of going back to Jeffrey's, he'd be there within twenty minutes, he was so happy to hear my voice and that I was back in town. So ecstatic to be getting away from my life of servitude for the next few days, I was sourly disappointed when I got off the phone. As if he'd been listening to my entire conversation, Jeffrey told me he'd like a massage back at his place and he could pay me at the same time for my trip with him. With much dismay I had to call TJ back and cancel the arrangements, I wouldn't see him until later that night, in which one of Jeffrey's staff would drive me home and I would be too exhausted to do anything.

(End Ch. 11)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 12

When we got back to Jeffrey's mansion in Palm Beach he wanted to thank me for showing his friend, the Prince, such a good time. Rewarding my diligence with an extra sum of money and luring me deeper into his goal of keeping me at his side as his personal amusement that he could lend out at anytime. Further proving his capability of using the vulnerable impressions of a young girl to influence and intimidate his fellow peers of like minds. Jeffrey didn't want to know the grim details of how it all happened on my intimate night with the Prince, he just asked simply if I thought that I did well in keeping his friend happy. Knowing already that the evaluation of my performance I gave was already discussed between them, I just as simply replied back with a nod of approval. Though I did have a laugh with Jeffrey about the Prince's weird fixation on my feet and lets just say that he was quite tickled with Andrew's quirky obsession, having a good ol' chuckle at my eccentric encounter.

I was paid extremely well this time, putting my money earned into nothing but popping pills and alcohol by showing my so called friends a good time, aiming for the attempt to forget about my experiences abroad. I partied like that to feel young again, my age and most of all to self-anesthetize my troubles from within. It wasn't like I was waiting for someone to arrive on his white horse and take me away to a magical world. I simply yearned for more out of life than being someone's replaceable amusement. Still a romantic at heart I would often get lost in my daydreams, imagining a new beginning with a strong man that would show me an enduring love, safety in his arms, and a lifetime friendship. Though the suggestion of true loves existence was only a dream for now, something I could only read about in novelistic fairy tales but the passing thought from time to time was warmly envisioned.

With my inner most desires being locked away in a deep crevice of my heart, I knew my romantic notions would be absurd in Jeffrey's eyes. For some unknown reason to me he couldn't allow himself to give love or receive someone's heart in return. Once he said to me when I asked him if he ever thought he would settle down and find Mrs. Right, he told me he didn't believe that love with one monogamous partner was possible but he found that love with many was. I thought at the time it had something to do with having so much money and everyone wanting him for that instead of seeing him as a person and even felt bad for him, but now I can understand from his recent lessons unlearned that it was a simple equation of his twisted perversion to become infatuated with the vulnerable youth off the streets.

Spending so much time in the entrapment of Jeffrey's embrace, I was becoming numb to the feelings and aspiration to ever climb above this deep hole I had dug myself into. I knew I wanted to escape from this bizarre form of first class slavery but I still didn't have the tools necessary to help me get out. How could I have? Everyone that knew me believed I was living this enchanting life, a rags to riches success story that most people dream of, only I knew the price to be paid for all of this and I was the only one who could pay for it. Underestimating my true self, I was settled by Jeffrey's side for now considering him to be someone to look up to, my mentor. Such a complicated battle within myself, it is one I still ache to fully comprehend today.

Sunny spring days melted away the ice off the frozen streets of New York and the harsh winter winds begun to gently blow away the dead leaves, making the caged trees appear to have some form of life again. I hated the cold winters there, it would only add to my depression being locked indoors. Give me hot Florida days blistering in the sun where I can swelter by a cool pool and sip cocktails with pieces of fruit and little oriental umbrella's floating around. What a vision of solace? Looking around my extravagantly decorated mid-evil room I was reminded of the desolation that I was more than accustomed too. Knowing it wouldn't be long before I was summoned again for another ritualistic occurrence in fornicating with my master, I hardly bothered to leave my assigned chambers, scarcely being sent home for a moments break, I just accepted my fate.

As I predicted the intercom buzzed momentarily and I heard Ghislaine's voice come over and request to meet them in Jeffrey's study. Not an odd call, I would often meet him there first so he could tie up some unfinished business before heading to the dungeon, or what was thought to be the massage room. Making my way down the hall, I had an eerie feeling wash over me, as if I had several pairs of eyes on me, watching my every move. A cold chill moved up my spine and I had to move my thoughts elsewhere, too easy behind these walls to succumb to my fearsome anxieties. I punched in number one once inside the elevator and it took me down to the floor where Jeffrey and his surprise guest were waiting with anticipation behind closed doors. I cracked open the heavy wooden doors and a familiar face revealed itself. Definitely not expected or pre-warned on my part but I already knew what he was here for or at least why I was called down to the study.

Prince Andrew had that notorious cheesy grin slapped over his face, as he looked me up and down like a shiny new car on display and he was about to take it for a test drive. Ghislaine led me to the decadent sofa he was lounging on and twirled me around to give him a good lookover before sitting me down on his lap. Like a show pony I knew exactly how they wanted me to be paraded around, with the last of my dignity long lost, I had nothing more to lose. It was easy to give them the reaction they desired, all I had to do was pretend to be entertained by their lewd gestures, and when Andrew cupped my breast with a doll made in his image, I only giggled away. Ghislaine wanted to take a picture of the bizarre scene and even got Johanna, another one of Jeffrey's so-called personal assistants, to come sit on his other knee for the snapshot, giving the impression girls couldn't stay away from Randy Andy. Many crude jokes later and I was asked to show Andrew to the upstairs massage room. I'm sure he already knew where it was from previous encounters with Jeffrey's "staff' but I led the way anyway, as if he was now my guest of honor.

Entering into the dim room it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but knowing my way around the room was enough to find the shower. I turned on the steam room and began to undress myself. Andrew followed my lead and disrobed, throwing his attire to the floor. I wanted to run and hide feeling his hands touch me again, but my servitude for Jeffrey kept me there.

Getting out of his stronghold I turned my attention to the steam filling up and tried to turn his attention to the marble bench where I suggested he take a seat while I rubbed his feet. By the look in his eyes I knew he could care less about a foot massage, his real desires were being shown by the arousal his body was forming. He indicated where he wanted me to touch him and how. I fulfilled his seedy requests, but only just. There was no pleasure in this for me, the only thing I derived from this event was to sink further into my slumber of depression. I couldn't remember a time when I felt needed for anything other than my body or amusements thereof. After his massage was thoroughly conducted I couldn't wait to get back to my room for another shower.

Sitting on the floor of the shower under the harsh spray of water, I scrubbed my body where he touched me. Feeling abhorrent and ashamed what I had become, I let the water wash away the grime. As the days progressed into nights and the nights followed a trail of destructive months, my outlook on life had diminished into utter sadness. I had lost my spark and my ability to look like I could handle the abusive state of affairs I had drifted into. Sinking deeper in the euphoric state of being on coke and pills, not only was my mentality dwindling away but also my looks. I sure as hell didn't feel like a seventeen year old anymore and now I wasn't looking like one. My eyes had dark circles underneath them from not sleeping and my bones protruded from my skinny waistline and chest. This made Jeffrey apprehensive in keeping me around as often and before I had a moments notice, I was out of money and looking for a job.

When I questioned him what was happening, he told me I wasn't the same girl he had first met some time ago now and looked like I needed a break from working so much.

“I'll call you next time I'm in town," was the last thing he said to me.

(End Ch. 12)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 13

Going back to an average teenager's life was more of a harder transition than I would've ever thought. Jeffrey stopped paying my expensive rent and I was forced to get off the drugs and look for a real job to feed and shelter TJ and I. It was much harder than it sounded, but I was craving this in every possible way. Even though a week's wages for working a full-time job as a waitress didn't come close to the money I had made in a couple hours of working for Jeffrey, I was happier than I had been in a long time. I made some friends at my new job and found my duties to be easy and pleasant. I was good at making customers smile and keeping them happy becoming the waitress that made the most tips for the night, which in turn made my co-workers happy since we'd all split the tips at the end of the week. For the first time in a long time I had boys my age hitting onto me, and not that I was ever taken aback by there attempts but it reminded me of how it felt to be around a younger crowd. I missed so much of what I couldn't get back and the more I tasted it, the more r remembered how to smile.

The relationship between TJ and I began to falter in a way that was beyond reconciliation. Fights became physical and I saw sides to him that only pushed me away more. He refused to look for work to help pay bills and he became utterly frustrated not having his usual cocktail of assorted drugs to keep him from feeling anything at all. He didn't like the fact I was growing inside and thinking beyond his elusive world. I had gone through too much to accept another form of abuse and degradation.

Making that point very clear to him by kicking him out of my apartment back to live with his parents, I felt liberated like never before. I kept up with my rent and cleaned my act up. Enrolling in a yoga course and keeping my focus on staying fit and healthy became my only source of enjoyment. I was free and living for myself. While out doing the grocery shopping one evening I couldn't help but stop at the local pet store and fell in love with a furry pooch. She was a Japanese Chow-Chow and a bundle of fur that more resembled a baby brown bear than a dog. I took her home with me and instantly she became my best friend. We went for several walks a day and she bore the brunt of many tear filled conversations, she was my loyal companion who understood more than anyone had before, all I really need was someone to listen and funny enough it was her that filled that hole. Nearly three months had gone by and not a word from Jeffrey or Ghislaine.

With TJ out of the picture now, all I had to concentrate on was work, my parents and brothers, and of course my dog, Mary-Jane. I was going to family night dinners and bonfires again. My older brother was getting married to an amazing woman in a few weeks and I got to be apart of their beautiful ceremony. Small details of life's journey that I already missed so much of and now being able to smile at the simple things day in day out really seemed to put the real value of life into perspective for me. Everything seemed to be working out for itself and I was really happy, until he came back.

TJ thought he'd come over my place one evening while I was sitting at home just watching TV. Obviously mentally distorted from whatever choice of drugs he was smoking that night. He screamed down my apartment complex, going mad and scaring my neighbors. I felt like I had no choice but to let him inside. I tried talking to him as a good friend would, just wanting him to see what he was doing to himself and what he had become. Part of me still loved him and took pity on watching him spiral downwards. Taking him back into my life was not a decision I made whole-heartedly, but it was something I did out of guilt and what I thought was loyalty. He moved his clothes back to my place, which was all he ever owned anyways and we tried to pick up the broken pieces.

TJ being still badly addicted to many drugs, I had to be very careful where I kept my jewelry and expensive items. I decided to rent out a space at a local spot and store my cherished items away, just taking the necessary precautions, I thought. Still not working, I knew how he was scraping by money and I didn't agree with it, TJ was a known thief and had been caught several times attempting to steal things, even as stupid as DVD's and PS2 or Xbox games from a local Blockbuster. He even stole from his parents, his sister and his brother and would probably steal a piece of candy from a five year old kid if he knew that it would get him his next fix.

He hated the change in myself, realizing I couldn't be brought back down by his ways but knowing I still stuck by his side and defended him from anything that would hurt him wanting to believe that he still wanted show the bits of human nature left in his empty heart. Unable to stand by and see me do well for myself he contemplated a way to try and bring me down. After a busy shift one night, he retaliated with another show of control. I had just finished cleaning up my area and setting out the tables to be ready for the next day when I went to the bar to hang up my apron and put my night's tips in the tip bowl on the counter by the beer tap. On one of his drug induced rampages he stormed into the restaurant where I was working and started to pick a fight with me. I knew he was off his face when he started accusing me of sleeping with my manager on shift that evening.

Having no bias or ground to stand on in his attempt to make me look bad in front of everyone, I just laughed him off as a drunk idiot who needed to go home and sleep off the night's repercussions, although I was fuming inside that he embarrassed me but still made excuses for him and told my boss I had to leave early to bring him home. The bar was deserted as TJ waited alone for me slumped in a barstool and looking worse for wear. I had to go to the back of the restaurant and do some explaining to the manager on duty, I couldn't afford to lose my job over this incident. Surprisingly he was sympathetic towards my dilemma and even told me I could do a lot better than that schmuck, patting my back and telling me to have a couple days off.

I punched out and headed to my car with TJ in tow. For the rest of the night he was oddly quiet and he asked to be dropped off at his parent's house. I was more than obliged to do so. I couldn't stand the sight of him let alone want to be around him tonight. Being so revved up it didn't yet dawn on me that something wasn't right. The next morning I was woken up by an alerting phone call. I had the manager from the restaurant where I worked on the other end screaming at me and asking where the money is. I sat up in bed, completely awake now, and asked him back, "What are you talking about, what money?" His tone had calmed a bit and he could hear the earnestness in my voice and explained his accusations.

"The tip jar was empty after you had left last night and there was over a hundred and fifty dollars in there, now it's missing". The answer hit me instantly and I got a terrible knot in my stomach ... TJ. When I left him at the bar not even thinking about the tip bowl to talk with the manager, he saw an opportunity to fund more drugs and he took it. That's why he didn't even want to come back to my apartment last night. It was all too clear for me now and 1 tried to explain to my manager about my boyfriend's sickness and asked him to take the lost money out of my wages.

“I have no choice but to let you go and file a police report for the missing money.”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How did things turn upside down so quickly? I exclaimed "Even though I'm paying you from my pocket for money I didn't even steal and you've never even had any problems from me before?". His apologies were short and icy, nothing that could be done. I slammed down the receiver only to pick it up again to dial TJ's parents house and to no surprise he hadn't slept there last night and was not able to be reached. I felt like I was in a bad dream I couldn't wake up from and with no money to pay rent, eat, or even survive, I was back to the drawing board. The week passed without hearing from TJ, he was in hiding, for now.

When the phone rang early one morning I expected it to be him, instead it was a surprise phone call from a familiar voice. Jeffrey decided to give me a call to invite me over to his Palm Beach mansion for some lunch and to catch up, it realIy was just his way of finding out if I was cleaned up and ready to come back to work for him. With my life in chaos once again and having to borrow money off my parents for grocery food, I saw a quick solution to my situation and was even convinced this is what I had to do to take care of myself. He greeted me at the door and led me inside. Ghislaine was at her usual spot, her desk working away, and we headed past her with a quick wave and lip-synced a "Hello", not wanting to disturb her important sounding phone call. She glanced up quickly and gave a brisk wave my way, then put her attention back to the computer. Once we were inside the poolside cabana, which was Jeffrey's office and gym, Jeffrey took a seat behind his desk and told me to have a seat across from him. He took a sip of water from an already poured glass and asked if I 'd like some. "Yes, thank you." My reply was short and polite, already just wanting to get this meeting done and over with. His face was like steel and his expressions were stern, I felt like a child in trouble sitting in the principles office.

He cut straight to the chase, wanting to know "Are you on drugs anymore?" There was a moment's pause as I took a deep breath and told him the entire truth. "I got really depressed for awhile and coped with my emotions by blanketing them with mind-altering substances. Just smoking a jay to relax wasn't good enough anymore. I needed to be high and flying to believe I was happy and dealing with all of life's curveballs. Snorting things like coke and popping amphetamines replaced my sorrows with an overflow of endorphins, making it possible to keep up with everything, until I would come down and the cycle just kept on repeating itself'.

He listened to me continue to tell him about the good things that have come from the break. Like my dog, yoga, and working at a restaurant, making lots of new friends but most of all, I got my smile back, without the drugs this time. He was really happy to hear the upside of everything, but there was one thing I was reluctant to tell him about. My recent travail that TJ effortlessly caused at the restaurant where I was so happily employed. As my manager had warned he had to file a police report stating that after I had left, the tips were gone, putting the blame solely on me. Giving Jeffrey a clear picture of the entire ordeal he exclaimed, "What are you doing with this idiot, Jenna, he is no good for you! I know you can do better for yourself, why do you let him drag you down every time?" Nodding my head in concurrence I went on to finish my epic drama.

"I received a phone call from the police asking me to come in about the money, I told them what happened over the phone but they still want me to come in. I don't want to have a record for something I never did or ever would do!" I put my face into my hands and covered the tears now trickling down my cheeks. "I just can't believe this is happening to me when everything has been going so uphill, now I'm out of work and in trouble." I wiped my face and looked up at him. "What do I do?" Enabling him as my mentor once again, his sly grin said it all. Jeffrey normally hated when girls made waves in any way and this one would be considered a tsunami, but this time it worked to his favor. He wanted me to come back to work for him, continuing my massage studies and I needed his help. In his eyes he was doing me a solid, which in return I would have to scratch more than his back for. Taking his time to contemplate what to respond back and what solution he could offer, I began to worry that maybe I shouldn't have done this.

Pulling a few tissues out of the box, he passed them across the desk to me. Trying to retract any damage done, I said to him, "I must look like such a mess to you and making you listen to my saga, I am so sorry ... I shouldn't have come to you with all of this." He looked surprised and sympathetic.

"Quite the opposite, actually. I'm glad you've come to me for help. I have got a lot of connections especially with the Palm Beach County Police Department. I give them regular hundred thousand dollar donations, and after I speak with them there will be nothing more to worry about. To be honest I'm more in shock about how much can happen to you in such a short time, your life is one big soap opera." Now he was chuckling and trying to make light of my somber mood. Laughing along too, I replied, "I know, right? Drama just hangs around me like a bad smell." We did some more light-hearted catching up and went out to the poolside for some lunch and a swim, concluding the evening with an erotic massage upstairs. He paid me the usual two hundred dollars and asked me to come back tomorrow. "In the meantime I don't want you thinking about your sticky situation, consider it dealt with."

His attempt to brighten my spirits had worked; relieved about money and the police, but now lowered myself to him, feeling indebted more than ever.

(End Ch. 13)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 14

As was promised I never heard back from the Police Department and Jeffrey had his favorite girl back by his side. We picked up where we left off ever better than before, I being entirely subservient to every sexual desire of his engaging myself in any role he wanted me to play. As he was getting older his appetite for sex never hazed, if anything it only increased. The orgies with other girls got larger in numbers and his appeal to younger girls, new toys and wilder nights expanded from once and awhile to quite an often occurrence in Jeffrey's company. I put it down his new friend and business investment, Jean-Luc Brunel.

A long time agent for young and upcoming models, Brunel, a French citizen, was known for roaming the world in search of young, naive beauties living in poverty stricken countries and willing to do just about anything for money. He would procure them mostly from Clubs in South America and the Former Soviet Republic. Filling their heads with fairy tales of America and large amounts of money, he would promise them all of the finer things in life, sometimes even throwing a pill in their drink, if that meant getting them in his bed was becoming too much of a task. What he wanted is what he got, which is why him and Jeffrey ultimately became close pals and he invested one million dollars into Brunel's company. In return Jeffrey now had supply of girls on tap for him to choose from.

With the assistance of each other, Brunel obtaining the illegitimate visas for underage-overseas girls and Jeffrey housing them at his brother's apartment complex on 30 I E 661h St, Manhattan, they were quite the team. Jeffrey and Brunel would charge them for rent, forcing them to work for them selling their bodies for money, nude pictures, and even pornography. These were what seemed like really nice people with not so nice intentions setting an impression of how the dignified wealth play. Behind closed doors they had as much civilized manners as a barbaric chimpanzee in heat.

Giving a girl a step-up in finances by teaching them there only worth is what lay between their legs, us girls all were the same in the end, regardless of what country we came from, what language we spoke or our cultural in differences, we all were being used for one thing alone, our youthful looks and beautiful bodies. Being Jeffrey's permanent sidekick, I would have to partake in a many of the hedonistic exploitations that went on at one of his many residences, which meant having to be uninhibited with many girls my age and younger. Being complete strangers was hard enough but we couldn't even understand each other, speaking in different tongues we were expected to excel at preforming many acts of lovemaking and foreplay on each other, while being observed by a man in a corner jerking off. Not exactly what I would call an advantage in my stage of life, but in my head I was convinced we all had to do what we had to do to get on with life and if that meant doing all of this to keep Jeffrey happy, then I would do that.

It didn't take long in the accompaniment of Brunel for Jeffrey to hit an all time low, at least one that I knew about. Stupid enough or sick enough, I don't know which one it is or both, but Jeffrey bragged about his birthday present from Brunel, once accepting three twelve year old girls, sisters at that. He replayed the descriptive events with me telling me how they all massaged him and finished him off orally. He was so excited about the entire event, replaying over and over again over the next course of weeks how cute they were and how you could tell they were really young by the small amount of hair growth in their pubic region and non-existent breasts.

A twelve year old, are you serious? I thought to myself.

I still can't shake the feeling of disgust when I recall the look on his face as he told me time and time again of how his lust brought him to that profound low. He went on to tell me how Brunel bought them in Paris, France, from their parents. Offering them the usual sums of money, visas, and modeling career prospects was a bribe of the worst kind, they were just children. Laughing the whole way through, Jeffrey thought it was absolutely brilliant how easily money seduced all walks of life ... nothing or no one that couldn't be bought in his eyes. Behind the two of them followed a destructive trail of those in their path that were misused, violated, degraded in a variety of ways for one purpose ... to satisfy the desires of the perversion that rotted their hearts.

The next couple of months I spent in Jeffrey's company, my life was revolved around him and his petty happiness. Arising to the occasion, I was no longer his teenage sidekick, I was growing into being a young woman and my body was blossoming like never before. Out of the awkward stages of my life, I now took to looking after myself like never before. Regular sessions in tanning beds and keeping fit became my life outside of Jeffrey. He kept telling me what a beautiful woman I was developing into and would offer suggestions to help me look good. Sending me to dentists for regular teeth whitening consultations or helping me choose my attire for the evening, he was ushering me into a whole new position, training me up for something else, but I was unsure of what that was. Being a snotty little teenager was a girl of the past. Now I had to be his eloquent speaking, desirable to all and almost his personal porcelain doll. I went everywhere with him again, all of his eclectic dinner parties, conferences, and meetings with various members of parliament, famous celebrities, and other esteemed billionaires ... most of whom lived by the same rule of thumb as Jeffrey did. Quite an alarming realization having to accept this world the way it is.

Jeffrey knew all of the right people in this game, and trading girls for favors is how he kept in the circle. He was at the center of it all, blackmail being the only thing next to money with the ability to pull a many of strings, his conniving ulterior motive was to drag all that he could down to his pitiful state of mind. Inviting easily tempted acquaintances to his island or his other various residences he would bring out the assortment of young girls and pass them around like they were cocktails on a platter. No girl had a choice in whom they went with, only completing a task, we would have to charm and bedazzle these aging fat men who other than paying for it would've never had a shot at getting to know a beautiful girl intimately.

I personally belonging to Jeffrey rarely had to be loaned out and it was a big occasion, or should I say favor, if I was. I'll never really know what made me so important or special to Jeffrey, it definitely had nothing to do with love. I guess in the end I will always put it down to my capability of being whomever he wanted when he wanted, so compliant it just made it easy for him to have a personal toy at his constant disposal. All I can say is I lived in a jail with no bars, and in a country where slavery was supposedly abolished a long time ago but still existed right underneath everybody's noses. Myself and so many other girls were walking proof of it.

I still was given proper training in massage therapy from time to time, keeping me from looking back at being a teenager with no responsibilities to being a young adult with prospering titles. He knew I wanted to be self-sufficient so bad I would do anything for it and by giving me this dream to hold to only kept me in check. I looked forward to my training sessions, holding onto every word passed down to me and after the session was complete I would hurry back to my room and transfer the information into a workbook with associating exercises.

Trying my new moves on Jeffrey always impressed him, he would get excited hearing about my passion for knowledge and would tell me he could see it transfer into my massages, always giving it my all, my hands were a focused energy when I was at work. Using every ounce of strength to apply on a body, many were astounded in what I could do for being such a small girl, and Jeffrey loved it, using me for a two-hour massage "with benefits" sometimes being over twice a day. Ghislane would sometimes use me to massage her still but it wasn't as common, she preferred a man for that job.

Then would come the odd client here and there, of course set up by Jeffrey. Most of which were orchestrated to get beautiful girls comfortable and consequently naked then he would go in for the kill, so to speak, touching them intimately, in their most private of places like their vagina, breasts or anal. When he had us where he wanted, willing and able, then would come the toys, outfits and so on. A scheme he has used time and time again, telling those who know him well "he had never been turned down yet.” It was starting to dawn on me how I wasn't getting any clientele that weren't used for Jeffrey's benefit and would make me wonder if I just wasn't good enough for that, but I kept quiet, never wanting to make waves like I had before. To give me a break from it all as if Jeffrey didn't want to overload me again, he would send me away to his ranch for a few days, what he knew I considered being a small slice of heaven on earth. I'd spend my days roaming the hills, riding horses, and enjoying the solitude of my own company.

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

One afternoon I was out exploring the land on Jeffrey's ranch which covered hundreds of acres with nothing but a bottle of water, my sketchbook and a small case of oil paint. I was on the search for something interesting to paint. A great pastime of mine, it made my soul quiet by creating beauty with my brush. I loved to recreate the images I saw on paper. I would paint anything beautiful that caught me eye's interest, from underwater scenes, animals to people and even fruit. I loved vibrant colors and emotion on display but my favorite soon became the landscape of the Santa Fe's rolling hills and earthly green and beige tones and in certain light it would illuminate into a golden shine. To grasp that feeling I was absolved in at the hardest of times became my greatest inner-achievement, like taking a piece of that serenity and putting on paper for me to keep in my heart where it still is today, closing my eyes I am able to see it, being there anytime I need to.

I was enjoying the heat and taking in the deserts sights when I stumbled off the track and into the wilderness. Exploring everything new to me was my second nature and never even entered my mind what would've happened if I went too far or got lost. I would rather face Mother Nature's wrath than humankind's any day! After about an hour of drifting off track I came to a pile of rubble, looking like the remnants of an old pueblo made out of clay and rock. I picked up what looked like half of a clay bowl and noted that it had Indian designs etched into the side of it. Excited about my findings I decided to do some more exploring around the fields surrounding the historic site. I collected rare pieces of arrowheads, utensils, and parts of many broken bowls with artwork telling tales of their own. Time was of no essence here and before I even realized the sun had sunk deeper into the hills leaving me without any light to find my way back to the pathway.

Feeling silly now after passing by a familiar looking boulder twice over, I was startled when I heard some poor animal become dinner for another, it's screams of agony only amplified louder and echoed in my ear drums, heightening the hairs on the back of my neck and making my heart beat nearly out of my chest. I was lost and confused before but now I was petrified with fear. Taking me over three hours to find my way back to the path and in the direction of Jeffrey's mansion was a mission, so relieved in the end and so were the housemaids after I hadn't showed up for dinner, assuming I must've been out for one of my usual adventures. I went to bed strenuously exhausted that night and as I was falling asleep the phone rang, it was a call from Jeffrey who had been alerted of my disappearance.

"What happened tonight, one of the maids called me to tell me you hadn't come back from your walk this evening." Detecting a tone of anger in his voice I tried to distract him by telling him of my findings and he scolded me for being gone for so long without anyone knowing where I was. Going back to the Indian remnants, I persisted on telling him what I had found. In the end he was just worried about me becoming a liability, but had to make it sound as if he cared. "Don't worry Jeffrey, I won't be doing that again. I can honestly say I have learned my lesson and the next time I want to explore I promise to take someone with me.”

I satisfied his worry of me being a future nuisance and with that I was finally able to tell him what I had discovered on my walk. He was impressed but did not sound surprised. "You must've been gone a long time if you found the old Indian pueblo's, just be careful you don't say anything about where you found the stuff on my property, it could become a sight for historical preservation and that means the government could ultimately own my land." I acknowledged his request and told them they were just a gift for my Mom, who was in love with Indians. "Wait until she sees I brought her back real artifacts, she is going to totally freak out." He didn't mind that I was taking them. In fact he admired my curiosity and adventurous spirit. He reminded me that tomorrow was my last day. I would be driven to the Albuquerque International Airport the day after next, to meet Jeffrey in New York, for how long, only he knew. Giving Jeffrey many thanks for a great week, letting him know how much I appreciated these small breaks away, we then said goodnight.

Hanging up the phone I had caught my second wind and set out to the kitchen to find a late-night snack. Raiding the fridge and pantry, I found some frozen pizzas and popcorn. I put on a movie and munched on the popcorn while the pizza cooked. Some 1980's dreadful alien nick got the better of me that night. It was based on a true story about people abductions from extraterrestrial beings, which were, like I was, visiting a remote area. I suddenly hated being alone on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. I munched down my burnt, crunchy pizza and became further enveloped in the thick plot. Leaving on the TV and the lights on that night, I spent my night tossing and turning, peeking through the small open crevices of the comforter, half expecting to see an alien being in my bedroom. Living through the night was a relief and I laughed at myself in the morning, how spooked did I get?

When I got to New York, Jeffrey, and Ghislaine had a good laugh over my tale of survival in the wilderness and then the alien scare. "You're always having the best adventures," Ghislaine exclaimed. We were similar in that way, both being s bit of free spirits it was really only her non-existence of moral standards that differentiated the two of us, in that way. "How do you know you weren't abducted and probed? I mean look at you and all that time alone on the ranch, what do you think Jeffrey, could she pass off as an alien?" Expectedly, Ghislaine poked fun at me, her usual fun pastime.

Our relationship was an odd one, never threatened by each other but always precautious towards one another nonetheless able to crack a joke together, but when it came time to "work" it was no fun and games, she was intensely serious. "With a sense of humor like yours I would tend to think that you are the one from another planet." Just friendly banter between the two of us, then Jeffrey had to jump in with his two bits, "I think you might be onto something, Ghislaine." I squinted my eyes and gave them both an exaggerated death stare and pretended to grab my stomach in pain, "I think some things trying to get out of me,” putting my fist in my shirt to reenact a scene from Alien. I fell onto the couch and faked my death. "I knew it," Ghislaine shouted and jumped on me to begin tickling me all over and we all broke out into laughter. It was those fun times that made me feel like we were all apart of this really perplexed family. We did everything together similar to normal families like eat dinner, watch TV, and travel, it was only the hedonistic and corrupt side to these two deviates that made them a peculiar pair.

Getting turned on at the two of us playing together, Jeffrey came over to the couch we were on and pulled down his sweatpants revealing his erect manhood. All of the laughter stopped, now it was time for work. Pushing my head into his pubic region I had to give into his perverted wants. Ghislaine started to undress me. Once I was bare she loved starting with my breasts. She cupped them in her hands and brushed her fingers over my hardened nipples heading downwards pressing her lips deeply into my skin, I had to maneuver my body on the couch in a complex position to give them both what they wanted. And just like that, without even a moment's notice I could be put on the spot and have to amuse them in any way they wanted. A shameful way to make someone feel like a used toy, I wasn't around for companionship. I was there for one thing, a compliant piece of eye candy. Twenty minutes later and Jeffrey had erupted in pleasure.

Ghislaine sat up, still fully dressed, and wiped the sides of her mouth with her hands, giving a vindictive little chuckle, "That was fun." Jeffrey concurred with a sly grin arching his back for a stretch just looking able to utter the request "Why don't you come up with me upstairs for a steam bath and massage, I need to be loosened up after that?' It was more of a statement than a request, as if I had the choice to say "No thanks, I'm actually tired myself and would love to just relax." Instead, I would reply with my accustomed trained obedience, "No problem, when you're ready, lead the way." I had to get dressed again being that we were in Ghislaine's downstairs office. Putting my clothes back on, Ghislaine thought she had buttered him up just where she wanted him to ask for him to come have a look at her new townhouse renovations when he was finished with his massage.

A very strange relationship those two have, there's a definite love flowing between them but not a passionate one, more like a respectful business, he gets what he wants ... an uncountable number of girls and she gets what she wants, simple and sweet. .. an uncountable amount of money. The two things in life that can create such beautiful moments or the most horrendously terrible of them all, is sex and money.

(End Ch. 14)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 15

I joined him for a shower, steam bath and concluded his needs with a massage while listening to classical music. I knew he didn't want anything sexual from me now seeing he got what he already wanted downstairs, no this one was purely therapeutic. My favorite massages to give, making me feel like an actual real therapist. I lathered him in aromatic oils and let my hands discover the ways to unlock the stresses that his body held. After the massage was concluded we were going downstairs to get ready to go see Ghislaine's townhouse as he had promised her earlier. He loved taking the hidden staircase while I hated it. I was so creeped out by his choice of decor, the blood red carpets, violent medieval paintings, and sculptures of the pagan god Pan, all of it representing the darker side of hedonism his lifestyle provoked.

Spiraling down the hallway along with each step you took came with a pair of eyes that followed your every step. Brown, blue, green, hazel, all of the colors were there, staring at you the entire way down. As each step progressed, so would my anxiety to get out of there. We found Ghislaine where we had left her, in her office. She had just received an order in, a satellite camera with a twelve-inch flat screen. She told us how it was used to pick up any person in any location with the quick insert of an address. Quite a powerful new toy I thought, but it was only a minute display of what the rich could afford, what use they would get out of it was another concern.

Soon after she was done figuring out the controls on the camera, we made a rare and first for me pit stop, the security room. What I thought was our way out by the front door was another hidden door. I was in shock as I was led into a room, so discreet that in three years I never even knew it existed. I kept my head down most of the time, knowing how secretive this must be being another door was an entire security base within his mansion. What I could see when I stole a glimpse here and there was an array of tiny screens, twenty odd or something. Small screens showing various rooms of the mansion I had recognized. The images were constantly changing so I found it hard to pinpoint an exact location but from the decor and short glimpses I suddenly knew from then on that my feelings of my every move being watched inside his corridors was now more than a possibility but was actually happening.

Jeffrey spoke to an obese Spanish guy at the desk, whose job was to disgustingly overlook all of the video feedback. Kill two birds with one stone Jeffrey thought, free porn to share with all of his pedophile friends and when the occasion called for it, a security system all at one expense. Ever consumed with making money as well as saving it, I was again astonished at Jeffrey's capabilities. I didn't want to even think how deep the video infiltrated. Pretending like I never saw anything at all, I put the memory to the back of my mind and went on about my day.

Stopping at Ghislaine's new townhouse, another gift bought and paid for by Jeffrey, he pointed out needed changes all over the place, driving the builders mad, as always. He wanted the place to scream out "GHISLAINE" with a bold statement. Checkered floors and bold colors was the theme, like the queen of hearts from Alice in Wonderland, very well suited I thought. The dust from the walls being tom down choked my throat and the elevator was not in use, the stairs were hardly either. The whole house was in bad shape, then having to go up three flights of rickety steps was a bit of a risk too but worth it once you made it to her future walk in wardrobe or to us commoners, a closet the size of a small house.

Complete with a dressing room, luxurious bathroom and plenty of storage for her every ensemble. Even without it being finished it was already a work of art, a sanctuary for any woman. She adorned herself in her future home, finally her own, relishing every inch of it, she already put in a work desk and spoke constantly of its ongoing renovations. About an hour later we were off to pick out curtains and look at some paint samples at a couple different boutique looking shops. Easily passing off as an ordinary couple for the day, they walked arm in arm, strolling the streets of the Upper East Side. Except to me, still replaying the early afternoon's events, shaking my head over the echoed images in my mind, I followed behind just waiting to be needed again.

Over the course of the next few months was a constant influx of exorbitant excursions at Jeffrey's mansions, mainly to his island, to keep up with his ever-demanding sexual appetite with various young women and teenage girls. I got back on the Xanax, an old habit that I felt at the time would stop my memories from flowing back, rehabilitate my problems and relax me enough to deal with any situation at hand, no matter what the circumstance revealed itself to be. It was a drug that would blind my eyes to everything 1 should've been running from.

Having Jean-Luc Brunel always in the picture these days wasn't helping me at all either. Sending his girls for Jeffrey at all of his places now and at a vigorous flow, they had an abundance of girls at their disposal. If I were to count one girl for everyday of the week, it would be the underestimated statement of the century. So many girls between the two of them, some nights it would be a free for all frenzy for Jeffrey and Brunel, seven or so girls giving them their utmost attention, doting on their every moan and whimper, Jeffrey being the main concern since Brunel worked for him and we were all aware of that too. If there were heaven on earth for men like Jeffrey, than he would be their God. Every one of his inner most desires was fulfilled when his harem of women was around. No wonder he didn't travel much abroad these days, all he ever wanted was right at his doorstep. I couldn't believe that he was still asking me to bring girls to him as well.

There was never enough girls to fill his appetite, so on occasion I would meet a pretty girl around my age and invite her back to his place to make some quick money by offering her a really good contact in the modeling and acting business. Keeping him satisfied and in need of me was a tiring job. With so much competition I had to be on the ball, seeming ambitious to grant him all of his desires. It was a lot of pressure and a spotlight of a role to undertake at such a young age but I told myself this is what my life's training had led me up to be.

My Birthday was around the corner and turning eighteen had lost all of its sparkle and pizzazz. There were no more surprises in store for me, nothing that would bedazzle me I hadn't done already. I spent my birthday on the island, having a quiet dinner and watching "Sex and the City" on the couch with Jeffrey, Ghislaine and Emmy. There was no cake or a celebration of any sort but I did get a couple of presents that I opened outside underneath the main cabana. Jeffrey gave me a beautiful pair of sapphire and diamond encrusted earrings and Ghislaine bought me another designer makeup case. 1 thanked the two of them with a tight squeeze and a gratuitous short spiel.

As it went quiet, I looked out to the ocean and wondered if across these waters was there ever going to be happier days spent with someone special to me. Would he be kind, compassionate, and always be there when I needed him most? Or would I end up settling for my final bit of training, a marriage to a greedy old scrooge? Either way what I wanted most didn't matter right now, I was still bound by Jeffrey's hold over me and all I had to keep telling myself to get through this epic journey was, this is just the way it was for now.

Around the table for breakfast Jeffrey announced that he was expecting a few guests coming over with Brunel, no one of importance, just his usual entourage of beautiful girls. Russian models this time and Jeffrey was also having a photographer flown in to take modeling photos using the island as the perfect background for a sexy shoot. All of us girls were ushered onto rocks, hammocks, dug into sand and displayed just about anywhere they wanted. We were being photographed in next to nothing, like a netted fabric placed over us if the shot called for it, but the more provocative, the more Jeffrey and Brunel loved it.

After the photo shoot we did some outdoor watersports. While us girls raced the jet skis around and jumped on the water trampoline, the men stayed on dry land to watch us from the beach. I was so used to this constant charade of girls and I didn't mind having a bit of fun but this was different, I had to be more than just polite because I already knew it wouldn't be long before we were all intimate with each other as well. Being the only girl that spoke English out of all of them was also a huge blunder. The only way we could communicate was through hand gestures and body language, a very primitive form of speaking, but what choice did we have? I did my best to get acquainted and, as I had previously assumed, after lunch we were again ushered into another part of the island, Jeffrey's cabana.

There was no need for words here, as the girls already knew exactly what to do. Without saying anything they undressed me and began to ravage my body with their hands, tongues, lips and fingers. I was delirious, never having done anything like this before with so many girls. It was sheer chaos; I don't honestly know how men could fantasize over this. Through the glimpses in between bodies crossing over me I could see Jeffrey and Brunel watching us, sitting in a chair with their hands around their penises, stroking themselves together

“The best part is they don't even speak English so there's never a need to have to keep them amused," I could hear one of the men divulge and pretty sure it came from Jeffrey laughing out loud to Brunel.

I just closed my eyes and went somewhere else in my mind until it was all over. That was that, life went on and we all moved on to eat dinner together. lt couldn't be more awkward as Jeffrey and Brunel were beside themselves with their ego's beaming, and the girls chatted like busy little chipmunks with each other. Ghislaine and Emmy on the other end of the table were being amused at the entire racket around the table and then there was me. Sitting quietly and smiling in people's direction when needed, I was counting down the minutes until I could go lay down in my giant comfortable bed, slipping away to the gentle noises the island created and sink comfortably into a deep sleep with the assistance of my Xanax.

Scratching at the plate in front of me with my fork out of boredom, I wasn't even hungry. I had lost my appetite for food. Rather sipping on the champagne I wanted to feel as far away from here as possible. What seemed like hours for everyone to finish their meals we were finally all saying goodnight and goodbye to each other, as Brunel was off early in the morning and taking the eight beauties with him. "Thank God" I told myself, once was more than I could handle of that in one day. It didn't take me long to get back into my own comfort zone. Heading straight back to my cabana after dessert was served nearly tripping over my own two feet as I tried to scuttle off in a hurry. As soon as I entered my domain, I drew a breath and sighed a deep exhale outwards, finally alone and at peace ... for now at least.

Although the sun had set hours ago the high temperatures of the Caribbean were still an affliction, plaguing my cabana. I was welcomed by a rush of warm air as I opened the door. I hit the switch to the fan and stripped down for a shower. Preparing my towel and toiletries I opened the back door to the outside shower and placed them on the floor. Whether I was cleaning up in the midst of a hot day or retiring for the evening, an outside shower was always splendid. Under a thick dark cloak of the night sky only the moon and stars to shed enough light for me to see my way around, I could feel the soft breeze lick the droplets falling off of my bodies' curves in the reflection of the moonlight.

It only encouraged me to stay longer under the warmth from the spray of rushing water. I let the hot water run out before I was sufficed enough to go back inside. Lounging around the bed in my panties and a tank top I was still sweltering from the heat. Trying to tire myself out, I did some reading and eventually fell asleep. I needed those times to unwind after such an ordeal, letting the Xanax wash away all of the pain I could then forgive the mistakes I had made, blaming myself for staying around for this, I had wished I was never born at all.

The pills would take all of that away for me. My heart was a tangled weave of deception and pain, only reassured by the lies that were told to me and the lies I would have to convince myself of.

(End Ch. 15)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 16

When we flew back into Palm Beach, Juan drove me back to my apartment. Lonely for some companionship I decided to call an old friend. I was longing to be important to someone and unfortunately with such little time to have a social life of my own I was compelled to call TJ again. His Mom answered the phone and sounded quite surprised to hear my voice on the other end. She was always kind to me, I even used to bring her back "Cola" cans from other countries, a bizarre hobby, she loved collecting. She just didn't know what I saw in her son, even saying that to his face many times over. Not blind to his ways of cheating and stealing, being a personal victim of it, she made it apparent that she did not approve of TJ's choice in lifestyle. It used to really hurt him how his parents thought so badly of him, so he gave up trying to earn their love a long time ago. As long as he didn't steal from them anymore he was allowed to live there. Instead of that being a lesson to him, he would just try to be more clever in what he would steal, less obvious things. He would steal the toaster and sell it for five dollars if he knew it would help to get him his next high.

Nonetheless and at my expense I had a sweet spot for him. With enough water under the bridge, I was able to forget about the troubles he caused. His Mom told me she'd pass on the message when he got home, but that could be days from now. The last time he had been home was over a couple of weeks now. He only stopped by to get something to eat, have a long sleep and to beg her for a few bucks, supposedly to help him buy food. Then he was off again without a single word said, leaving his parents to their own assumptions, which were pretty much correct anyways.

I then called around a couple of mutual friends to see if anyone had heard from him. Everyone I spoke to pointed their fingers in the same direction and the worst place possible, Ritchie's house. One of his best friends told me of how bad he was doing. "He's not the same guy anymore, and all he cares about is the next high he gets. If we don't get anything for him he just loses it and goes off somewhere.” It was hard to hear how badly affected my best friend was and a part of me secretly hoped they weren't right. Still defending him, I told everyone I had spoke too while trying to find him that TJ would be fine, he's just probably going through a bad phase, like we all do sometimes and needs people to have his back more than ever now. I was pretty much laughed at on the spot, most people that I considered my friends at the time were only friends by association. As long as we all looked the part, acted the part, and could handle the part, only then did they want to be around us.

The last person I called was the last person I had hoped he wasn't with and it turned out that everyone was right. He was with one of the biggest coke dealers in our area, Ritchie-Rich, as everyone used to call him.

He didn't look like a typical strung out junkie or dealer. Instead he looked like your average preppy college grad with aspiring propositions. He dressed well and acted like a nice guy to imminent clients only to get them hooked on his drugs and then turns them out onto the streets. He was a businessman and his business was thriving. He carried everything from most drugs to guns and knives. Having ears in all places made him a dangerous acquaintance. Using kids off the local Palm Beach streets to run his dirty errands and the errands of the others above him, he made his money by using these teenagers, who as hard as it was to believe were once somebodies sweet child. I knew TJ didn't have the finances to support himself or his drug habit so the likelihood of him being indebted to Ritchie in other ways was a safe assumption.

Obtaining Ritchie's number from one of TJ's friends, Marcus, he asked me, "What do you want to call Ritchie for? Come over to my place and I can get you whatever you want." Marcus was a sleaze bag who would tirelessly continue to try to appeal to my lesser sense of judgment, never getting the hint or just not caring that I could never and would never be interested in him. "No Thanks Marcus, can I just get the number please, it's very important that I get ahold of TJ, I'm really worried about him." I hated having to call this guy let alone have to ask him for something. "Is this about the Adam bull****? Cause if it is you can let him know what a ****ing bitch he is for not showing up to be there for him, you can tell him from me that it's his fault and it should've been him that's lying in the morgue now, not Adam."

I was totally thrown by his allegations. I could only mutter out a whisper "Did you just say that Adam is dead, what happened?" "Oh snaps, I thought you knew, where have you been girl, under a rock or something?" Marcus was less than sensitive about his statements. "He got shot in the head by two black guys who got suspicious when their usual supplier didn't show up, your boy TJ was so ****ed up he didn't even remember to turn up at Ritchie's for the delivery, so Ritchie sent Adam alone and now he's dead."

Adam was a sweet kid who just happened to be born living on the wrong block. Best friends with TJ since childhood, the two were inseparable until puberty hit and even then they would chase girls together. Adam followed in T.J' s every footstep, mimicking his shadow. If TJ jumped off the Eiffel Tower, then so would Adam, so when TJ got hooked on drugs consequently Adam did too, leading ultimately to his death. Wanting to end the conversation with Marcus quickly I scribbled down the phone number on a blank piece of paper in front of me and hung up the phone to call Ritchie's place immediately.

''Yeah?” It was Ritchie who bluntly answered the phone after the first ring. "Hi -Uh-Rich, It's Jenna, TJ's ex, we met a couple of times at a few parties." I was trying to remind him of who I was knowing how paranoid he was about people having his number. "Oh yeah, I know who you are, what is it you want?" He answered with a dry tone. " I was hoping you could tell me where I could find TJ, I've heard some stuff and am really worried about him, is he alright?" Ritchie snickered at my concerns. "What are you his Mom or something? He's fine, he should be back here around five o'clock. I'll tell him you called." In the middle of me saying "Thanks and good-bye" he hung up the phone, as there is no room for manners in his line of work.

I waited until five o'clock watching the minutes on the clock tick past and when five o'clock came and passed by with still no phone call, I couldn't deny to myself that I wasn't stricken with distress. Falling asleep wasn't easy either. I ended up crashing out on my sofa watching T.V, half expecting to hear of another murder on the news and it being TJ. Forgetting to put on my eye mask before I went to bed, I was woken up the next morning by rays of the sun beaming into my living room.

When I sleep I am a creature of darkness, avoiding any window light at all costs. Staggering to the coffee pot not used to getting up this early, my first thought that day was TJ and why he hadn't called. A million thoughts rushed through my head like a steam train .. .is he ok? Is he not calling because he is still mad from our last breakup? Has he moved on to someone else? Is he in any trouble? Did Ritchie even pass on my message? The thoughts were an endless infliction, consuming my entire day until finally he called my cell phone later in the afternoon. Relief swept over me when I heard his voice on the other end. "Thank God you called, I have been so worried about you, are you alright?" I jumped in without letting him get past saying "Hello". "Yeah, I'm fine. Ritchie told me you called his house looking for me yesterday and gave me **** for it saying you were upset or something, what's up?" I knew I would have to be delicate about asking what happened to Adam, thinking he'd be a mess over it.

"I heard from Marcus that something happened to Adam and I got worried about you, what is going on?" TJ sounded scared, for what reasons were beyond my knowledge but I was going to find out, he replied, "I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Are you in town so we can meet up or something?" It was obvious I wanted him to know that I was more than willing to lend my shoulder for his problems. "I'm home now if you want to come over whenever you feel like it." He didn't hesitate in taking me up on the offer. “But I won't be able to get there until later, I'm downtown at Ritchie's place unless you want to come pick me up.”

It was more of a request than a favor to myself which is what he was making it out to sound like, knowing him all to well I didn't make a fuss of his ill-contemplated attributes. I got the address off him and made my way into the ugliness of the not so dazzling parts of the Palm Beaches downtown area. Rolling up my windows and locking the doors to my truck I nervously drove through the rough streets trying to find Ritchie's apartment complex. Knowing all too well the history of the area, it's not a place a lone white girl in a nice truck wants to be seen, many reports of the locals rushing up to a vehicles with a weapon demanding money, cars, or just angry and out to hurt someone. I was speeding through the streets wanting to get out of there as quick as I could.

A sad world we live in with so much hurt everywhere you look and nobody wanting to do anything about it, just accepting the hopelessness of never being able to achieve anything more than what our civilization has succumbed to. Being among one of those people, we were similar in so many ways. Only separated by our own personal fears and the different direction they pulled us into.

I drove straight through the open gates at the entrance to the complex and parked on the gutter in front of Ritchie's block of units. A crowd of people stood outside the blocks I was entering. Being hit on and offered drugs simultaneously my cheeks went flush and I put my head down not saying a word. Walking up the corridors of the staircase looked like a scene out of a horror flick. Graffiti covered the peeling of green paint on the walls and the pungent stench of something rotting, only to the worst of my imagination, filled my nostrils. I could hear babies screaming through the thin walls and trying to find the unit number was difficult from the sporadic flickering of the fluorescent lights above me. At last I found Ritchie's, quite astonished with myself that I even made it this far.

I had to knock loudly on the door a few times before a young girl answered the door with eyeliner bleeding down from her eyes, her jet black hair was strung out and a mess and she looked off her face on some hard drug. She had only her bra and a short skirt on to cover her private areas and a cigarette hung out of her mouth to complete the full picture of terrible state she was in. She looked me down with contempt and snubbed at me "What do you want?" I maintained my politeness and told her TJ was expecting me. She opened the door and walked away, leaving me by myself to venture through looking for TJ. Passing through the kitchen it looked like a hospital lab with syringes on the counter tops and medicine containers lying around everywhere.

Minding my steps through the dirty house, I walked to the back to the living room and found TJ in a K-Hole strung out on a filthy couch. "Hey ... there," he acknowledged me with a giant smile spread across his face. He probably didn't even know who I was from the dreadful state he was in. My first look at him in months and I was in utter shock. My jaw must have dropped to the floor at the very sight of him. Never seeing him so skinny and unhealthy looking I took pity and wanted to help him before things got even worse and he ended up like Adam, dead.

"TJ, hey buddy its Jenna, remember I was coming to pick you up today. You don't look so good, what are you doing so messed up?" I don't think he could even understand what I was even saying because he could only reply by giggling and rolling over, patting the couch as if it were a fluffy animal. I stood over him now and raised my voice so he'd know I was serious and snap out of it a bit. "Get Up TJ, Now!” I ushered at him to get off the couch, repeating myself a few times over and with no response I knew I had to get physical. Rolling him back over to face me again I smacked his face hard and I'm sure it stung but got the reaction I had wanted. He sat up and looked at me confused. At least now he was able to focus on my words requesting him to come with me. He was getting up from the couch and stumbling around before falling down to the floor again. Putting his arm around my neck and carrying the majority of his weight, I helped him up many times over and down three flights of stairs into my truck and drove him back to my place. It was a triumph on it's own arriving downstairs in one piece. Being the only person who really cared if TJ lived or died I felt like the responsibility of helping him was my concern alone. Thankfully Jeffrey was in Palm Beach for the next couple weeks entertaining royalty, which gave me a little time to try and clean TJ up.

I called a few of his friends that I knew and asked them not to score any drugs for him any more, pleading with them and telling all of them he was on the brink of death, reminding them of the friendship between us all that once existed before the drugs corrupted so many of us. Some of them laughed at me telling me I was wasting my time with TJ and others were nice enough to at least lie to my face politely and promise not to help him feed his addiction. I just wanted to remedy all of his pain and problems but I felt so helpless fighting his battle against the streets.

I bought some marijuana for him to smoke hoping to subside the withdrawals he was facing over the next few days but with no avail. The only thing that would help him was my Xanax, a few of those pills and he would go back to sleep, only waking up to get more of them. I would have to force him out of bed to have a shower once a day and make sure he ate something. He was more like a baby right now than he was a boyfriend, too much in need of something I couldn't give.

(End Ch. 16)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 17

When I went to see Jeffrey over the next course of days he picked out the dilemma I wore spread across my face straight away. "You're back with TJ, aren't you.” It was so funny that he knew me so well. "Yeah, he's in a real bad place in his life right now and needs my help." He looked astonished and replied, "You're a much better friend than I am, I know people like him and trust me they never change, no use in even trying" I believed him too, knowing I was stupid for even attempting to change TJ, but my heart felt differently, he was still a human being and a good friend of mine just down at his worst. "That's what good friends are for," I laughed back at his remark, not wanting to take this conversation too much further. "I admire your loyalty at least, but take my word for it, he will hurt you again." His words were chilling but true, I had to find out for myself though.

Almost seeming like an actual friend for a second he ruined his brief momentary image by turning over from the unfinished massage that I was giving to him and acquired his sexual longings from my worn down soul. Not only did he know that I didn't want to endure any more demands tonight, but his energy enhanced from knowing it too. Looking up at him during the foreplay, it was an easy observation from the look in my eyes that I hated every minute of it, seething through all of my duties until he climaxed. Most days I could take this kind of treatment, it was only seldom I couldn't hold in the way Jeffrey disregarded my feelings. He had me just where he wanted me, like a pawn piece on a checkers board I was his own personal sex slave.

For the remainder of the evening I stayed quiet, not sure of what to say after an episode like that. It was a vigorous display of how calumniating he could really be. He required me to clean up his spilled semen off of his genitals with a wet warm washcloth before he retired to his bedroom for a good night's sleep. Only a monstrous creep could sleep easy at night knowing what pain he caused others.

I went downstairs and asked Juan, who was still in the kitchen to pay me for the evening telling him that Jeffrey had gone to sleep for the night. It wasn't an unusual request. Juan would often have to fix up "the girls" after the sessions and sometimes even drive them home. He went to Jeffrey's desk and underneath was his duffel bag that always held insurmountable bundles of crisp hundred dollar bills. He took out two for me and handed them over. I thanked him and said goodnight, as I was always polite to Juan and his wife, Maria. His eyes were gentle and told me more than what he was allowed to say. I understood well. We all needed to eat and pay bills unfortunately even sometimes at our own moral expense.

Putting the keys into the ignition I started up the engine and reversed out of Jeffrey's driveway with promptness. I didn't want to be there a moment longer than I had to. Not much to look forward to getting back to my apartment either, I needed some time to filter my emotions. Parking my truck in front of a nearby beach I took my shoes off gradually stepping out of the door into the fog. I walked down to the edge of the sand where the water licked at my toes. My life was slipping away from me and I was really beginning to question the difference between living and dying. I was so tired of everything, my whole existence revolved around being everything to everyone, forgetting about being something for myself altogether. Pretending to be someone else became an attribute I was better than good at, probably much of why Jeffrey liked me in the first place.

This time I held back my tears back and only let the anger fester into a deep pit in my stomach. My rage was aimed at the very people who abandoned me to fend for myself in the first place and accepted this life as normal for me, my parents. When I got back to my apartment I was expecting to have to look after TJ, but to my surprise he had come around good that night. He greeted me at the door and asked how my evening was. “It was all fine," I easily lied. I never let anyone inside close enough to see my vulnerabilities. They were mine alone to battle. In my head they were too shameful to talk about anyways.

He wanted to talk about something else. Sitting me down at the dining room table he began his spiel. "I know you don't think much of me anymore, how could you? I'm a junkie who steals and sells drugs for a living, but I promise that's all going to change now. Adam is dead because of me and the only way I can make it up to him is to get away from it all. I promise things are going to get better.” It was a convincing talk, but I knew him all too well. His demon inside yearned for him to fail but who was I to second-guess him out loud, I could only try to give him hope.

"No one is perfect TJ. At least you're trying now and that's all that matters to me. I am so proud of you." I gave him a sincere hug and kissed him for the first time in a long time. "I love you," he said to me and I returned my love back. We slept in the same bed together that night and were officially back on together.

Two days later I was gone again, beckoned to be in Santa Fe. Ghislaine only told me that I was to meet someone there, not sure of whom that was. It wasn't my place to ask questions. As far as I knew it could be anyone and I had no choice but to be compliant to their needs. It was the middle of the day when I arrived at the airport. One of the ranch hands came to pick me up in a big work truck that smelled like dirt and sweat but I didn't mind that's what I loved about the countryside.

When we arrived at the mansion my guest was already there waiting for me. I couldn't wipe the look off my face as he turned around from the bookshelf that he was standing at. "Hello," that same old cheesy grin greeted me once again. It was his highness Prince Andrew, and what a sight. He wrapped his arms around my waist and greeted me like an old friend. I hugged him back rolling my eyes at the same time, already dreading what lay in store over the next couple of days. My job was to entertain him endlessly, whether that meant having to bestow him my body during an erotic massage or simply take him horseback riding.

For the next couple of days he was to be my only concern, but he wasn't. I called in checking on TJ a few times a day, not wanting to be a nag but just hoping he hadn't had any thoughts about relapsing. He was doing great, even applying for a couple jobs. Being reassured by him made my time away less complicated and thankfully with the help of my ever-ready Xanax I was able to cope with the ordeal. The mansion was completely empty save a couple of maids who also cooked our dinners for us, and a couple bodyguards that we hardly even saw at all. The time dragged by slowly for me as I was counting down the hours until I flew away again, anywhere but here I thought. It wasn't easy meeting the sexual desires of these strange men, the Prince being one of them. He loved my feet and even licked in between my toes. Then there was the lack of passion in the intimacy we shared, to him I was just another girl and to me he was just another job. Not the right reasons to be together but I thought in this world and to these monsters, there didn't need to be a reason. To them it's nothing but a reenactment of their personal fantasies. To me it was a living nightmare.

Thankfully one of Jeffrey's assistants from New York called me on my cell phone early in the morning on the second day to call me in on my next adventure. I had a flight booked for me to leave that afternoon to arrive at La Guardia airport in the evening. Even though I had to go back to yet another controlling man, I was still relieved. At least I was used to the confinements of Jeffrey's control and in some twisted way he was more comforting than these strangers he sent me to.

Overlooking the city of New York as the plane landed felt like I was flying from one cage to another. Entrapped by falling victim to the predators that lured me into their enclosure. I didn't know how I would ever get out again. That deep pit in my stomach began to chum again, a physical reaction to the anxiety I was plagued with. Before getting off the plane I touched up my make-up to hide any signs of the frailty I was feeling. Jo-Jo met me at the arrival terminal and picked up my luggage for me. He never said much at all, nodding to any reciprocating conversation. I don't think he could really speak that good of English anyways. It was better for me as I preferred the quietness for the moment. He opened the back door for me and we headed off for my next prison cell.

When we got to Jeffrey's mansion on 72nd, the place looked empty. I walked up the staircase to Jeffrey's office and he wasn't there. Feeling a bit hungry I walked back down to where the kitchen was. I opened the fridge and found some leftovers that Adam, Jeffrey's chef, had cooked. I loved his cooking, when it wasn't filled with beansprouts and tofu. He used to make me the best pizza upon request, or whenever he was cooking seafood, which he knew I hated. He had an honest appeal about him and never even took notice when on many occasions us girls would be prancing around topless, sometimes even stark naked around the pool or beach. He would have to serve us our meals and would do it with such a casual professionalism, never making anyone uneasy at any occasion.

Halfway through my meal the kitchen doors swung open and incoming was Jeffrey and Ghislaine. Choking down my bit of food down, I got up from my seat and kissed them both on the cheeks. "Hi guys, how are you?" I greeted them and Ghislaine answered for them both, "Good, good. Sit down and finish your meal, don't let us interrupt you." I hated eating alone in front of people, chewing food and maintaining a conversation at the same time didn't give off the best look. "I was just finishing anyways, can I get you guys anything, maybe a tea or something?" Always playing my part, another reason to keep me around I guess, I went beyond the call of duty and after the last period with them, I had been reminded of my place.

"Yes, I'll take one" Ghislaine stated. "Jeffrey how about you, anything I can get for you?" I asked again and he answered, "No thanks, we just ate and I'm still full." They sat down together on the stools at the kitchen bench. I got out the shiny red kettle from the cupboard, knowing my way all too well around the kitchen and put it over the hot stove plate. Turning around to face them, I thought they were acting peculiar. "So ... " Ghislaine started the conversation, "How was the ranch with the Prince?” It was a natural reaction for me to blush, knowing exactly what she was referring to. Keeping busy preparing her cup of tea and avoiding eye contact with both of them 1 started to unpack the counter where I had been eating, "I think he had a really good time, he seemed relaxed during the trip and when we said good-bye to each other he gave me a kiss." I went on to tell them what we did together, "I took him horseback riding, nowhere too far just around the property, um ... we went swimming in the pool, and of course I gave him plenty of massages. He had a massage at least couple times each day really seeming to enjoy his time there."

It's what they wanted to hear, not the truth of how disgusting I had felt over the whole thing but they already knew the truth anyways, it's what they had trained me for in the first place. Like two proud parents they both looked over me with such content. "Good, you did really well," Jeffrey complimented me. Turning around to the boiling kettle, I finished Ghislaine's tea for her and the conversation led on to other subjects.

We all ventured up to Jeffrey's office and out came the infamous duffel bag that went wherever he did. I was given close to a thousand dollars for my time in Santa Fe, more than what I thought anybody at my young age could make for a couple days of work It was fulfilling the obscene vulgar needs of the so-called privileged that earned me so much.

(End Ch. 17)

[Bluegreen]

Chapter 18

I spent the next few days in New York, venturing out to do some shopping therapy. I loved the eccentric parts of the city. Every street was different but the same energetic vibe filled all of them, animated with all different walks of life. Hanging out at coffee shops reading the newspaper or a good book was a favorite pastime while in the Big Apple. Being close enough to get back to Jeffrey for when he needed me but also far enough to get away from all of it. Most of the day slipped by without being missed and I made my way back to Jeffrey's. Making one last pit stop, I walked into an old bookshop to browse at their assortment of old titles. I wasn't in any hurry so 1 took my time reading the backs of interesting looking books.

I bumped into a girl looking down the same aisle I was down. "Sorry, I'm so clumsy," she was apologizing for my mistake. "No, no, it was my fault, I wasn't looking at where I was going. I get so wrapped up with my nose in a book and trip over my own two feet if I'm not careful enough." We were both giggling now and I further introduced myself to her. Her name was Valerie or Vickie or something like that, anyways she was a student at a school for hairdressing nearby. Chatting away both young and similar interests in each other's choice of reading we found it easy to speak with one another. She wasn't from around here only being in the city for the last two months, her parents hated her being here, but were also supportive in her big decision to move from the countryside in hopes of her accomplishing her own dreams. Aside from not having her near them, they just wanted her to be happy and supported in her big decision to move to the city, helping her pay some of the way. She was a pretty girl with cherry red hair and soft white skin. Her long legs were emphasized by the short flowery dress that complimented her hourglass figure.

She would definitely fit the pro quo for going down in one of Jeffrey's little black books. Only imagining the look on his face upon meeting her I could already see his sly grin spread from ear to ear. Knowing exactly what he would do with her and the very thought of him tarnishing a sweet country girl such as her just couldn't be done.

It was the beginning of a turning point in my life that started with realizing I had a choice at hand and the effect I could have on one person alone. "I must be off, but it was really nice to meet you." Bidding her goodnight and paying for my books I turned around with one last glance over my shoulder and said. "Good luck in the city!" Leaving that bookshop was a small step in a growing abundance of larger strides to come. Turning the corner onto the street I had an undeniable feeling in the pit of my stomach again, but this time it wasn't the familiar hurl of anxiety I was used too after I had done something I had wrong that I had regretted, it was a new feeling of pride and inner strength. I quite liked it a lot, I held my head high and smiled on the inside when Jeffrey asked me how my day was and what I got up to, not mentioning I had let one girl slip on by.

The icy winter winds faded away making way for the approaching sunny days that blossomed the colorful shades of spring. This was my favorite time of the year. Making the most use of his island we spent countless days of the increasingly hot days there. A constant array of visiting guests and plentiful young women to flock around keeping them entertained was the typical lazy afternoon on Little St. Jeff's. We ate, drank, and played under the blue blanket of cloudless skies. To many this lifestyle could seem idyllic, unless you were like me, the one on the other side of the fence where the grass wasn't so green.

Fortunately for me and in some ways not, I was mostly expected to attend to only Jeffrey's insurmountable of sexual desires. Whereas the other girls who came one day and went the next were promised a multitude of open doors just for there meager participation in sexual acts with random men, only to be disappointed when they realized they were nothing more than a single night out for these geriatric senior citizens who most likely due Alzheimer's would sooner forget the entire experience let alone their first name. Surrounded by those in our world who many looked up to, but not seeing them from where 1 was standing, I didn't have the highest of standards in humanity.

Then I met Al Gore and his lovely wife during one of those many weekends away in the Caribbean. I was blown away by the amount of attention Al doted on his wife, it was so sweet to watch. They sat next to each other at the dinner table gazing into one another's eyes having an intimate conversation between them. Among the many guests visiting that night and many of them young beautiful women, not once did Al's eye's stray elsewhere, to them they were the only ones there. He was up for a presidential election that year and he definitely had my vote. Anyone that could show that much devotion and passion towards his loved ones could have the same devotion towards running a country, or at least I thought so. He only left his wife's side to have a walk down to the beach with the host of the weekend, Jeffrey.

The weather was still warm in the evening when I decided to break away from the idle chat around the table and take a stroll too. Not wanting to interrupt the conversation between Jeffrey and Al, I walked in the opposite direction plucking the washed up sea shells imbedded in the sand along the way. I enjoyed the serenity in the solitude of the island. So many nooks and crannies to get lost in, I could imagine that I actually disappeared from the entire world for a moment. By the time I came back to the main house majority of the small crowd had been long gone retired to their cabanas. Even Jeffrey had gone off to bed but trust party animal Ghislaine to still be up entertaining the remaining guests left at the table, regaling her wild stories of people and places she has embarked on. Trying not to make eye contact as I walked past them on my way back to my cabana carrying my seashells inside my curled up blouse, I wasn't up for anymore pointless talking tonight. Emptying out my seashells into a plastic bag, I went over my new treasures one by one. I loved collecting odd things, shells being one of my favorites.

Ghislaine and I shared that interest together. We would enjoy walks around the island searching for lost pieces of the remnants that pirates had left behind centuries ago. It was mostly broken plates or smashed glass from bottles of ale, and even occasionally getting lucky enough to find some old coins here and there. It wasn't easy though, both loving a challenge it was perfect for us. Enduring many scratches from the bushes we would be searching through and then the sore arms from digging all day, but it was worth it in the end. After nearly two years of collecting items and saving them, we made Jeffrey a mosaic table out of the remaining pieces left from the era of the pirate's day. Upon completing it we were both astounded in our creation, it was such an item of rarity and an interesting piece of work. When we presented it to Jeffrey he was even impressed not only in our amazing finds but what we did with them. The table became an important work of art that Jefti-ey showed off inside the main house's lounge room, sparking a much intrigue and table conversation by many of the visiting guests to his island.

The next morning was good-bye for most of the visitors, leaving just the usual behind. Soaking in the sun and living it up in the lap of luxury is how the next few weeks were spent before having to get back to the dredge of the city. Sometimes we'd have to go to St. Johns island for Jeffrey to do some work in the office. It was so boring for me to sit in their listening to him on the phone or coming down on some poor employee for something stupid like not answering the phone correctly. If I knew he was going to be awhile I would excuse myself for a bit of shopping. Not that the Caribbean had much to offer in the world of fashion but there was never an amount of bikinis one girl could own and I loved all the little knick knacks one could find there. Flying back on a private jet was the best part because I could transport just about anything I wanted back to my apartment, which was already filled with an assortment from my shopping ventures and collection of seashells from the Caribbean.

The next big dinner party on the island had another significant guest appearance being, the one and only, Bill Clinton. He is the only president in the world to be dismissed from his role as a world leader because he was caught with his trousers around his ankles and had the stain to prove it. Publicly humiliating his wife and himself he retired from his title but not from his lifestyle.

This wasn't a big party as such, only a few of us eating at the diner table. There was Jeffrey at the head of it all, as always. On the left side was Emmy, Ghislaine and I. Sitting across the table from us was Bill with two lovely girls who were visiting from New York. Bill's wife, Hillary's absence from the night made it easy for his apparent provocative cheeky side to come out. Teasing the girls on either side of him with playful pokes and brassy comments, there was no modesty between any of them.

We all finished our meals and scattered in our own different directions.

Case 18-2868, Document 278, 08/09/2019, 2628230, Page619 of 648

[Bluegreen]

(Contd.)

Jeffrey wanted his evening massage before bed and Ghislaine and Emmy went to their office to talk about something, leaving our guest of honor to find company elsewhere. Strolling into the darkness with two beautiful girls around either arm, Bill seemed content to retire for the evening. He wanted to have a hot bath before bed while I began the massage in the tub. Starting with his feet and calves, he wanted to end the night quickly. Never showing any restraint he sat up on the edge of the tub and asked me to perform on him orally. I did my job, but that's all our relationship was these days, a dreadful job. Getting it over and done with as quick as possible was my hope but I couldn't let him pick up on those vibes, to make him enticed I had to act like his little porn star, knowing exactly how he wanted it. Only then would my duties be fulfilled and I would be able to get back the reality of my complicated life.

Before I could say goodnight, Jeffrey had one more request. He wanted me to tuck him under the blankets and fluff his pillows for him. Then I had to reach under the covers and massage his feet while watching him fall asleep, he even wanted me to wait like twenty minutes or so after he fell asleep before I could leave. It wasn't unusual for him to ask it but God I hated it, never offering it, I would always wait for him to request it. Once he was snoring gently I wiped my hands clean of the lotion and quietly closed the doors to his room.

Making my way up the outdoor spiraling staircase, I felt the breeze blow through my hair and looked up to the heavens. The stars shown so bright out here in the middle of nowhere with no big city lights to hinder their effect I could get lost in time staring into them. No matter how far gone I really felt there was always something about a simple caress from the wind or the reflection of the star sweeping sky in the black glossy ocean that would always remind me of my fond love of nature's blessings.

Back in New York, there was nothing left of nature to adorn. It was a dwelling for those who no longer saw the use for trees without cages or blue skies without clouds of man made fumes and gases. Unfortunately if we weren't in the Caribbean, we were there in New York. Hardly going back to Palm Beach, barely even seeing my family, my dog or TJ these days at all. In my parents' heads I was all grown up and educated in the world of wealth. Not needing them any longer, they would just wait for my call once in a while to let them know how I was doing, and that was the extent to our restricted relationship. The road my life has led down never has kept me close to home anyways so to me it wasn't anything unordinary but still a sad existence to be without a family of my own. It would've been nice to be missed though, rarely letting myself think like that. No room for pity in my heart, if I did, the floodgates could open and I'd have enough grief in one lifetime to go around a few times that they would've never been closed.

Jeffrey's business was running well from the looks of his attentiveness the office he owned in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Alan Dershowitz, his colleague in finances and personal solicitor, a bird of the same feather, I had seen hanging around the island and Jeffrey's Manhattan mansion, more and more these days. Alan's taste for the young and beautiful was a bias for a blooming business relationship between him and Jeffrey.

After an explicit session of Jeffrey's vulgar pilgrimage into my body, we were interrupted by a knock at the door by Jeffrey's good friend, Alan. I wrapped myself up in Jeffrey's pink bed sheets, which is the color preference he chose to sleep in because it reminded him of the same color of his own words "Pussy", and covered my face from the unexpected intrusion. Jeffrey got up and wrapped a towel around his loins and answered the door completely calm. Opening the bedroom door and letting Alan inside they began to converse about business immediately, right in front of me. Jeffrey started to tell Alan what needed to be done while he jostled some notes down quickly. I peeked my head from underneath the covers thinking they were too wrapped up in their work to notice me get up and dressed, and Jeffrey turned back to me and told me to just stay there this would only take a second. Going back to Alan he turned his focus back into work and hustled out a few more orders before letting Alan out of the door and returning his attention to me.

"Sorry about that, work never stops and neither will the money coming in. How else am I going to make a million dollars while I'm sleeping?" Jeffrey chuckled as he sat back down on the bed next to me. I laughed at his humorous and mostly true statement, then a strand of hair fell in front of my face. Before I could get to it he put it back behind my ears and sweetly stroked my face, for a moment we just looked into each other's eyes and he nearly seemed almost human to me. It was bizarre how he could be so kind and gentle one moment and the second beforehand I was being treated like no more than a common plaything left out for display. Nothing more than an ego trip, Jeffrey got off on letting the ones he wanted to know that he could own anything and anyone he wanted in this world. Maybe for a brief minute I believed the sincerity behind his eyes but that vision would quickly fade away and I would be left second-guessing why I even fell for his deceitful tricks for a moment.

Jeffrey got up from the bed and asked me to join him for a shower. In his bedroom, which was the entire top floor, he had a glass shower enclosed underneath a glass skylight right in the middle of the room. It was a perfectly accessible feature for a man that loved both being clean and nude, but still an odd feature at that. As I always did whenever I showered with him, I lathered a loofa with soapsuds and would scrub his body, up and down, in between his toes, even behind his ears and of course his genitals area. The sunlight shown through the glass ceilings into where we were standing, making the moment feel even more surreal on top of the already popped Xanax I had popped before for breakfast earlier that morning. Jeffrey was in such a lighthearted mood that day, making funny cracks at me, and acting like a flirt. When I was finished washing him he actually wanted to wash me too, which was another totally out of his character suggestion.

For the rest of the day, he took me everywhere with him, the office and then to a friends place, even just wanting to hang out with me for a while. I wasn't used to being treated like anything more than a dog on a leash, when he acted like this it just completely spun me around confusing me even more. We were spending heaps of time together these days, a lot more than usual. At the ranch we would do things together, alone, and not just the usual perverted things I was accustomed to doing with him alone. Horseback riding on his ranch during weekends away by ourselves and movie nights snuggling up over a bucket of popcorn instead of having to massage his feet during the entire film became his way to alter my perception of my original notion that I wasn't just his sex slave, I thought I was finally becoming his friend. When we went quad biking he no longer wanted me to take my own bike, he preferred me to sit on the back of his, holding onto him tightly and he even tried to teach me how to drive a manual stick shift car. He was definitely trying to show a softer side of himself, different to the stone cold slave driver I had to come to respect out of fear over the many years. Still a hard image to change after all I had been through and seen over the years I had been with him.

Nonetheless he was still my "boss" so I humored his attempts and matched his caring demeanor, giving him the impression I was intrigued in our new kind of affair.

(End Ch. 18)

[Valerie Villars]

Bluegreen, I always value your input because you just put it out there with no judgement. That is a rare and valuable thing.

However, I wish she hadn't told her story like a soft porn novel a la Shades of Grey, which I thought was the dumbest con I had seen in years. I couldn't believe people were actually paying money for that smut.

[Bluegreen]

Thank you, Valerie

I understand and do not disagree. I was hoping for others' opinions before starting this thread, which I did not do. (Thread started by Cara)

Nevertheless, this testimony is part of the public record, and something the public should be aware of, as it can be argued that the Epstein story is the only one of consequence at the present time.