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Thread: The twilight of my enlightenment

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    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
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    Default The twilight of my enlightenment

    In the beginning of my opening up and my journey into questioning things, I believed I was discovering great info as to why things didn't make sense to me. JFK was probably my first big shock and awakening as a young adult.  

    This of course following my youth when I discovered that professional wrestling was not real.  It was fake. I scratched my head thinking, how could everyone not know ?  Don't they see it ?And how could grown adults permit this?  I'm being taught in school and church to be one way ,while this is what adults are ok with doing?

    And from JFK, to then seeing Oswald shot live on TV , to all the assassinations, MLK etc then questioning the Moon missions and on we go into Vietnam, the Wars,the USS Liberty, 911,  the School shootings , Boston Bombing, Sandy Hook and on and on, whether these events were real , partially real or completely contrived, I seemed to have a nose for things that just didn't add up. We all know what that got labeled as

    Then enter the UFO issue, and my seeing and documenting many of my own, I found myself sitting in a space not too many around me were. And now the Virus. I Cannot stand seeing the name so you know which one I mean.

    And even if I concede that, yes this or that is real,I found it through deep scrutiny, not just nodding my head yes to the official story. And even after conceding that something was probably true, If I saw something that didn't add up, I would ask myself, why not? It should make sense, and yet it doesn't. What's wrong here?

    So through the years, this awareness has directed my life through my callings, the Arts music and my social decisions in general. 
    Discovering and sharing this info and discoveries were fascinating for me, much at the chagrin of various friends and family members.But many had open minds and were at least open enough to hear me out and see my presentations. That was back then

    This has all ended now.  In 2020, the climate has drastically changed.  Censorship is analogous to 1939 book burning as fake news, be it real or not, is all seen as fake news for the viewers comfort and support of their world view.   Just dismiss it.  It's fake.  
    If someone now has compelling evidence something is fishy, it's ignored as fake, if It challenges comfort zones and agendas, it's fake.
    I cannot even send anything out to my friends anymore unless they are already in 99% agreement with me in the first place.  So no point in that as just a few of us preach to the Choir.

    I have lost my desire to share, to discuss with others who are unaware or of an opposite view.  There is nothing to be gained. No one will yield. Everyone is armed with their fake news, and their experts. Russian bots and foreign collusion, fake videos, fake pictures, fake emails,  fake everything .No one will listen, no one wants to know.
    Little did Pro Wrestling's Vince McMahon realize how visionary his world of "fake" would become so many years later

    I'm in the twilight of my enlightenment, pertaining to sharing socially and expanding collectively.
    I'm entering a new journey inward, deeply inward.  I'm solitary on this journey . Not alone

    dauld 11/2020

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    United States Moderator Karen (Geophyz)'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    When I start feeling this way I go back and listen to this: https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...e-in-Australia.

    For some reason the soothing tone of Glenn playing this song makes me realize that if I talk to people and make one person think it is all worth it. We cannot give up!
    "If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.” William Blake

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    United States Moderator Sue (Ayt)'s Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    It almost feels like a spell has been cast over some of my loved ones.

    (yet I love them anyway)
    "We're all bozos on this bus"

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    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Yes Sue, a spell. Thats what makes me think its cosmic.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    I counted about 5 or 6 people as true friends maybe 5 years ago. One has developed dementia and cannot be visited in her care facility due to Covid. My husband became totally dependent due to spinal damage following a flu shot, which I’ve mentioned here before, so my time for interaction and socialization dropped dramatically. One of my friends of 50+ years, who lives out of state, can’t bear to think our government had any hand in 911. One friend has asked me to stop sending her articles on Covid,etc. because she just can’t deal with it. I’ve taken a little break from one friend who doesn’t get why I might not enjoy hearing the details of her trips with her girlfriends... My point is just that isolation and shifting interests among us all has wreaked havoc on any support system I used to have. I have never before had to rely so completely on a belief in what is unseen and the process I am in of evolution and enlightenment. This is probably not too clear, but I felt Doug’s angst, and it brought up my own. I think the journey inward is all there is.
    Last edited by wondering; 3rd November 2020 at 21:44. Reason: spelling g

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    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Thanks Wondering. Tonight, election night, I have , correct or not, already conceded the reality of things, and feel good, feel energized and empowered.
    Any one, all of you, consider me your friend. e mail doug@dougauld.com

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Wondering is right, "turning inward is all there is". My personal experience is a closing up. The taking of sides (polarization). I have long time friends I can no longer be candid with, I worry about alienating friends and family. Inward is safe, and there is so much to learn reading. If I were religious I might venture there, but I'm not. I have started to look at the ancient story's of the Hermetica - Sumer- Greece - Egypt. Looking for a place to plug in and grow. It is a solitary pursuit, no personal friends or family seem interested. At this point in life (75) I feel I am disconnecting from current events whatever they are.
    Last edited by haroldsails; 4th November 2020 at 00:19.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Hi Doug
    Thanks for the invite, At this late time in my life I am not worthy of a friend
    like you but I do really appreciate your humor on the forum.
    Question Everything, always speak truth...

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Life is always a struggle because there is so much we don't know. If you have never searched for truth or enlightenment (different meaning for everyone) you probably go through life either numb or blissfully ignorant. That would be a wasted life. The thought of struggling alone seems unpleasant and can leave some with a great deal of anxiety. Once you really begin to understand that the journey is meant to be taken alone it becomes an easier task. It is normal to seek out like-minded people in an effort to validate our findings, our truths but it is not necessary and may not even be the best way to arrive at the destination. There is always good in the struggle and good in the truth - sometimes it bumps into you and other times you must seek it out but it is always there. I am more convinced every day that the answers we seek about virtually everything lie within.
    Last edited by rgray222; 7th November 2020 at 00:44.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    east sun, im not happy to hear you say that. anyhow, door is always open

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    rgray222, well said. it took me a while , but we have time

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    United States Avalon Member Strat's Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    That was a very articulate OP Doug, really well written. Maybe not totally, but we're very much on the same wavelength. I'd love to share a drink with you one day and hear more of your story and your thoughts.
    Quote Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
    This has all ended now.  In 2020, the climate has drastically changed.  Censorship is analogous to 1939 book burning as fake news, be it real or not, is all seen as fake news for the viewers comfort and support of their world view.   Just dismiss it.  It's fake.  
    If someone now has compelling evidence something is fishy, it's ignored as fake, if It challenges comfort zones and agendas, it's fake.
    I cannot even send anything out to my friends anymore unless they are already in 99% agreement with me in the first place.  So no point in that as just a few of us preach to the Choir.

    I have lost my desire to share, to discuss with others who are unaware or of an opposite view.  There is nothing to be gained. No one will yield. Everyone is armed with their fake news, and their experts. Russian bots and foreign collusion, fake videos, fake pictures, fake emails,  fake everything .No one will listen, no one wants to know.
    Little did Pro Wrestling's Vince McMahon realize how visionary his world of "fake" would become so many years later
    Did you just now come to this realization? I would love to see how this affects your art. I have a friend who was a decent artist and often enjoyed shows until he became happy lol. He settled down with a nice gal and stopped painting almost immediately. So it's interesting to me to see what drives art.

    I have a very strange tie to artists.. My mother is one, my first love was one, my best friend is one, they seem to find their way to me. Ironically my mind is more mathematical than it is artistic.

    Quote Posted by East Sun (here)
    I am not worthy of a friend like you
    I don't know you but I don't believe this for a second. Doug said it himself in another post (though I'm butchering his quote surely), "We assign value as we see fit." If he sent you a friend request then he weighed you as a valuable friend.

    To each their own though it's none of my business.
    That's life, and I can't deny it
    Many times I thought of cuttin' out but my heart won't buy it

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    I too have tried to share with others, I might get in for a couple minutes, then they always
    want to change the subject to the mundane, so then they have lost me, just as I have lost them. So like Doug, I have just about given up on sharing what I have learned and know. Kind of sad isn't it, most around me just don't seem to have the time to even have a decent conversation, they are to busy with their smart phones, and watching tic toc.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    The world is not life, life is life.

    People tend to form their minds around events of the world because it is believed it has authority over us. That is a lie that is only real when we live it. It’s never true. Like a cult we’re born into with its ever increasing grip over its members, a grip that becomes so oppressive that the believers inevitably devolve into unconscious sycophants.

    Those of us awake to the true nature of the cult tend to believe we are not a member because we can see, while all we truly manage to achieve is correct observation of a lie that we continue to live.

    It’s not until one sees the true nature of the world as a reality constructed by a system of thought that a cult member can truly leave. The condition of this world is false, destructive and full of suffering. It can be lived in truth and the result would be a constructive condition in which human beings could be free to thrive, but only if human beings were to always remain aware of the true nature of the reality. At its best it’s a beautiful lie.

    Human beings were always going to come to a place where we became aware of the true extent of our creative power so we could learn to be responsible with it. The capacity of the destruction that technology of the 20th century gave us has forced us here, and here we are.

    Beyond the world is truth. Beyond the world is life. Life created this world and life can create a better world. Once the cult is left the deep, deep sadness begins to lift and in its place a peace from acceptance arises and we can begin to see life for what it is. We see the world for what it is.

    There are few things I know and I often don’t know what to believe these days but I know what humanity is and I trust that. I know what divinity is and I trust that.

    The ability to perceive with the awareness of the role of thought in creating wolds is necessary to live free, to use thought instead of being used through thought.

    From this place beyond the cult we have the clarity to see who we can be for our fellow human beings. We have so much more to offer than correct observations. We are light. It’s not fancy or loud but in the darkest places it’s true value will be undeniable. Beyond the cult love is felt for our fellow human beings, regardless of differences or conditions.

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    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    strat/ thank you. I have come to it in its time. its been coming. and I voiced it now cause I feel its now realized.

    sadie blue, thank you as well and I feel what you feel.

    chocolate milk, maybe its late for me but i dont quite understand exactly what your saying. i think i do, but not sure. perhaps you could put it a different way?

    and regarding east sun, and everyone, it would be most disappointing for me to think that anyone would ever think they are not good enough to be my friend. were a family

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Dough, I’ve got to the same space while ago but also repeatedly through out my life as long as I remember. In that “space” the most important things are allowed to happen, personal evolution, clear views, recovery and renaissance.

    I’ve not seen anytime in my life time any sort of benefit from people’s games, arguments, political debates, wars and “deciphering the deception” of “it all”.
    It doesn’t help to take us forwards or anywhere.
    It “sounds interesting” but is mostly utter waste of time, energy and resources.

    I firmly believe in Life beyond the duality of argument has 99% chance of making beautiful contribution to our past, presence and future.

    Cutting ones awareness off the lure of competitive freaks and “who’s the best” is not easy, they have singled some of us in toddler age really, the time we outsmarted them innocently and they’re after us since
    like enraged dogs, provoking conflict.

    So many people took this lesson in human history and retreated from public activities better than that, left to live pure and solitary life in the woods.

    It’s a pity and shame of humanity that the wiser and altogether smarter people are either ignored, bullied or fought against and those with limited minds and objectives take over instead playing in their sand pits.
    Even while we are standing against deeper humanitarian crisis most governments and their experts still cover national interests better than facts and their strategic games rather than genuine progress in making better relationships.


    Look at it from the larger perspective though: this human world has always been somewhat like this but there is lots of Life and truths to go for Out There.

    May our minds be able to leave this human prison behind ..


    🌟

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    Australia Avalon Member
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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Quote Posted by rgray222 (here)
    Life is always a struggle because there is so much we don't know. If you have never searched for truth or enlightenment (different meaning for everyone) you probably go through life either numb or blissfully ignorant. That would be a wasted life.
    As an ill informed devil's advocate, if we are eternal beings on the merry-go-round of reincarnation can anything be called a wasted life? I ask this from a rather circuitous route because I often grapple with thoughts about critically ill children who only live for a short time, or children born into the worst poverty imaginable - was it just pot luck that the soul occupied that body? Or if it is all a 'game' and we recycle through this, eventually we will be one of these? I have also been having some really weird thoughts of the idea of free will v reincarnation and if i could articulate it I would make a post of it, but I digress as usual, I'll leave with this, if we are all one experiencing a this particular facet of creation - how can we be anything but alone?

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    We have all realized that when we went down the rabbit whole, took the red pill etc. we would experience separation and loss of connection with the mainstream. It can be lonely and people loose friends and family. However I think what your implying Doug is that it’s worse now than in the recent past. If I’m correct in that assumption?

    So I’m going to get a little woo woo on this one. I was thinking the other day that perhaps this is part of the great awakening, Revelations, The Law of One Harvest, The pole shift/micro Nova or Yuga cycle change (add one here). In that people are now holding a very firm solid perspective/belief and are resistant to others waning to change that , even as you say when facts are used. Certainly it can be argued that “they” used and manipulated facts to the point where people gave up on logic and facts. However I see it may go beyond that and people don’t care about facts and have an aversion to people trying to change them. People holding such diverse beliefs may result in vibrational mismatch and separation of the herd so to speak. That may explain how the harvest, assentation or Rapture might work. It may be those who remain on an organic path raise their vibration. Those who choose AI, vaccines and smart cities stay in 3D. So it may not matter if you die with million friends sitting at your wake or alone and buried in potters field, your soul goes where it vibrationaly fits. I’m not going to try and convince them anymore but like them, I’m going to hold my ground. I have not been tested yet, I can only say I will not get the vaccine but if I’m starving, threatened by losing my home, job etc will I still stand firm? Only time will tell.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    CRAIG, the idea of a wasted life doesnt work for me. I believe we cannot know the complexity of this reality we all seem to be living. Nothing is wasted , no life is wasted. I get most of my recent thoughts on this by studying OBE,s and Robert Monroes books on OBE.

    Savannah. Thanks. Yes its worse for ME now. Doesnt mean its true for others. but many may agree with me. And yes it may be how the rapture plays out. And I will not get a vaccine as well. But its a matter of how hard it is pushed. Dont want to win a battle and loose the war

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    You are not alone Doug; we share a soul link.

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    Default Re: The twilight of my enlightenment

    Quote Posted by Craig (here)
    Quote Posted by rgray222 (here)
    Life is always a struggle because there is so much we don't know. If you have never searched for truth or enlightenment (different meaning for everyone) you probably go through life either numb or blissfully ignorant. That would be a wasted life.
    As an ill informed devil's advocate, if we are eternal beings on the merry-go-round of reincarnation can anything be called a wasted life? I ask this from a rather circuitous route because I often grapple with thoughts about critically ill children who only live for a short time, or children born into the worst poverty imaginable - was it just pot luck that the soul occupied that body? Or if it is all a 'game' and we recycle through this, eventually we will be one of these? I have also been having some really weird thoughts of the idea of free will v reincarnation and if i could articulate it I would make a post of it, but I digress as usual, I'll leave with this, if we are all one experiencing a this particular facet of creation - how can we be anything but alone?
    My guess is that babes enter and may exit soon after but it does not matter, They go on as we have gone on
    and will again finally clicking onto what is right for us.

    I would not worry about baby's dying as they re incarnate whenever, instantly or in a thousand years,
    time that is not linear in other time lines.


    y
    Question Everything, always speak truth...

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