Pain Remedies and Battling Suicidal Thoughts

[Zirconian]

Respect to you Ernie.
This thread that you have created and the posts from all contirbutors maybe helping many out there.

[Lunesoleil]

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
And it can lead to guilt for thinking of themselves when it is the loved one who is in danger...

There are also limits to psychological support so as not to sink oneself into despair through weariness. To want to put yourself in the other's shoes is to make yourself vulnerable. One should not become a psychic sponge, therefore protect oneself from psychic attacks by vulnerability. We are human beings and are far from infallible. The world is filled with vulnerable people who are constantly in demand and do not seek to make any personal effort. There are all kinds of derivative measures precisely to push back this assumption of responsibility for one's psychic life. These are the same people who will help us to perfect our humanity, because everything in this world has a defined place, we all have a role to play and do it as best as possible, even when we are wrong we learn ...

[Constance]

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[Ernie Nemeth]

This particular personal case might be intractable and I accept that.

I cannot elaborate too much on that statement, it does not come from despair or from pessimism. Her history is a tragedy from the time she was two. It need not be aired here to get the gist. Think of the worst...and it is what happened to her, over and over, until she was twelve. Abandoned and abused, even the system gave up on her, after first stealing her insurance payout, of course, so that she was destitute and easily dismissed (the same insurance people here in Ontario who wanted to and insisted I shove their tyrannical collusive deal down my throat until they could reach my wallet through my colon and destroyed my ability to drive a car forever, unless I win the lottery!)

that's it for today, sorry

thanks for all the input

[onawah]

I've been using a high potency tincture from Lazarus Naturals, which Dennis Leahy (who is an organic farmer) had good things to say about. See: https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1341529
The really great thing about it is that, with continued use, it doesn't just stop pain, it heals many conditions at the cause.
(In my case, it didn't stop pain the way a drug would, it just gradually started to make me feel better, healthier over all. )
I hadn't used any high potency THC products before because (though it may not compare) back in the days when I was smoking weed, I finally concluded that for an already extremely sensitive person, the sensitivity enhancement was actually counter-productive, and what I felt was a resulting cognitive decline wasn't a good trade off for the "high".
( I felt like it was making me stupid, and I may have been right.
Our lungs aren't designed to deal with a lot of smoke, and it reduces the amount of oxygen which the brain needs to function properly.
Obviously products high in THC that aren't being smoked would not have the same drawbacks, but I think I would still prefer the clarity I feel from meditating.
And as a person who has experienced a lot of healing from eating live foods, I know how much heat destroys nutrients. )

Finally, once I had started to meditate, that turned everything around, in any case...

If heavy metals is an issue, fresh aloe vera gel is excellent for detoxing, and does a lot of other good as well. I've posted about it quite a few times here on Avalon, which will come up easily if you do a search..

Posted by pueblo (here)

Posted by onawah (here)
I'm finding that CBD oil helps me to endure chronic pain better, so that I'm not resorting so much to pain killers, and that in turn helps to avoid the blues.

A personal question I hope is not intrusive but have you ever used a full spectrum Cannabis tincture ie. including THC (something along the lines of Rick Simpson oil) for pain?

[Agape]

Dear Ernie, I can still empathize a lot with what you’re talking about but I don’t think there is a miraculous “short cut” solution. All solutions are temporary and once we get caught in the self-destructive spiral, it’s not easy to get out.

But I do have a suggestion, even while you’ve asserted that your wife is not spiritual in any noticeable manner and that is start reading together or listening to, Bardo Thodol, aka “The Tibetan Book of Dead” that actually means “passing through the states ( of dissolution)” and it may help you both to understand the process better and what is your patient actually going through.

Because everyone with serious illness or NDEs get to experience some of the symptoms and signs of dissolution of elements as they usually happen “after death” even while we are humanly alive and when we are seriously ill we also get to experience these “transference states” called Bardo in Tibetan,
it’s just that modern medicine do not have name for everything and they also see things differently.

They do not and are not in liberty to discuss with the patient “what happens after”, and it’s a big mistake in many ways.


If you actually ALLOW the person to think openly on what are they going to do, where are they going to go after the gross physical vessel stops functioning,
some of the mental burden and anguish is definitely lifted from them.

The person themselves do not have to disclose verbally “where are they going to go” neither it should be obligation to do so,
it’s rather that they know they will be going somewhere else and the decision rests upon their mind.

That’s why they need some time and peace to think about it, in positive manner 🙏🌟🙏


Even if they are or never been “religious”, almost everyone I believe has their “religion” hidden deeply in their soul and where they go from here.

It’s important that you help her to find that deeper part of herself again, no matter how foolish it may sound. Medical institutions are often very irreligious and sensitive people or those who are alone suffer a lot for it because no one helps them “further”.

You may not be a MD but it’s the better part of your duty as a husband and best friend to help her find her way back to heaven.

It’s also never too late to do that and no time is the right time but it may surprise you positively.

Figure out your own way how to do this, of course, whichever way it is ...

but if you get into even few sessions of deeper resonance and empathy before she’s forever gone you both will feel that your mission here has been fulfilled and you will live and die in Peace.

It really is about this deeper resonance that gives us and gives out the greater meaning , she’s been here for you like you’ve been here for her and though we always don’t understand WHY, there was a reason for it, a soul reason and it will be this healed and remembered in the greater cosmic timeline 🙏

And next time you meet, somewhere else you both will be complete, strong and beautiful because this time you cared and payed for the lesson of being human beings.

In thoughts and prayers

🕯

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=bVRjSieqYF4

[Harmony]

Dear Ernie,


It is kind of you to share your experiences with others, I am sure your words will find their way to others in need. And the heartfelt replies of practical and spiritual help all the members offer will help many.


So many people have gone through very difficult times and situations unique to themselves and their journeys in life.


When the unthinkable may happen or has happened and our hearts are filled with unbearable heaviness it can bring feelings of despair, and hopelessness, also grief and loss of times we had in the past that can never be repeated again. It is normal to feel this and not selfish in any way.


In my own experiences when these situations have come to be, I finally let my heart break open wide and let every pain and sorrow held within flow like a huge waterfall over a high cliff and down to a river flowing to the sea. It never stops flowing now, it is constant and releases what can not be changed.


I pray “Dear God please help me do what ever I can, and please let me be ok with whatever is to come.” These are deep words that come from a trust in a “Higher Power” that you will know what to do in each moment.


With all my heart I pray you will find a way through each day Ernie, for you and Val. And for all of us that we will find a way “through” whatever presents.

[Kryztian]

Many people have found pain relief from hypnosis. It varies from person to person, and one might really have to work at this, but it really is possible to change how your mind processes the stimuli that alert you to pain. You might get some results quickly and you might get more over time. You have to remember that "you" are not changing your mind, but you are passing on suggestions to your subconscious and "it" will decide whether or not to accept them and things could change.

There are numerous sessions on youtube about managing pain, and about self healing. Just thinking about self healing can make the feeling of pain better.

These sessions work best when you are in a relaxed state, possibly before going to bed at night, and it is fine if you fall asleep during them.

I haven't listened to either of these but I do like this particular hypnotist:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=s_SMIouQGps

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=oA_rY4N8XJA

[Bluegreen]

It has been surprising and kind of funny to watch an elderly relative, who has mentioned suicide, turn (mostly) away from prescription drugs (pain and depression) in favor of CBD oil and Guinness, reporting positive results.

All the best

[Anka]

Dear Ernie,
I'm sorry for your wife Val.
I am here to tell you that I understand Val and all those who suffer.
I saw this thread yesterday, I wanted to write but I didn't have the courage to write about my experience, not because I couldn't, but especially because it hurts to see other people in suffering.
Today, however, I choose to suffer for the suffering of others, because mine is almost over.

5 years ago I had an accident and I managed to break T9, and break the right dorsal muscle. The medical system in Romania is very bad, I tried many doctors from which I managed, after all the necessary tests to obtain 8 different diagnoses, for which I chose not to go to any doctor and take my own medication at home, where I chose to take in over 4 months more than 700 injections of metamizole, dexamethasone, and many other medications that did me good for my bones but not for my general condition, after which I stopped, I threw away all the ampules with injections.

We lost many thousands of euros in treatments, including all our reserves, we only have remain with the property, the house and a car for this, the Romanian state did not help us at all, and even though I worked for many years and contributed to the health system in Romania, the irony, is that you only receive medical help through some rather legal and absurd conditions that kill lives.
Any visit to the doctor was paid hard and there was money given as a bribe without any receipt, but even so they were not interested in giving me a treatment that would cure me, the operation was excluded because it costs us more than we could have ever paid in this life.

I know you're close to her, Ernie, but maybe now more than ever, you need to make her understand that you're in the same pain with her. I think your love can save you, I think you have to tell her that you "breathe" through her pain, that you are both in it and that you have to be united (think of it in terms of energy as you understand it)

Not as advice, just maybe just as an idea, my husband, after a year of having to get up to handle me for hygiene, food and treatment (and I had gained a lot of weight), he suddenly started to have almost the same kind of pain but not constant, in the left side of his back.
It was extremely strange, as if he borrowed a good part of my pain, but we both managed to laugh saying, that I "got a wing on the right side and he got the second angel wing on the left side" and that made us realize that we have to get over this together.

I followed all the alternative treatments you specified, plus frequency, music and total rest, apart from hypnosis, and these brought me a plus of relief but the pain was constant sometimes so strong that I fell asleep, and when I was asleep, because of the pain I thought that was the end, so I closed my eyes and said goodbye quietly to life.
The fun and sad part at the same time, was when I woke up and did not understand why I did not die, because indeed there were countless moments when I would have chosen death with the greatest grace and without any fear, instead that pain.
When I woke up "alive", the pain was there and sometimes it became a kind of contemplation through pain, as if I wanted to be able to find peace through and beyond it.

Sometimes sitting on my back with my eyes staring at the ceiling, I thought this would be the rest of my life and I wish I could do something about suicide, but I couldn't even move my neck, and I couldn't get up from myself from bed, which was ironically sad for me and the frustration hurt along with the physical pain.

After two years in bed in which I underwent alternative treatments, my husband who has military medical training and who took care of me 24 hours 7 days, taught me how to find my optimism, and even if I was always somewhat stubborn and proud in my own way, I managed to understand through all his arguments that I must take this as a transformation for the better and not as a trauma.

Sometimes looking at him, I didn't know what hurt me the most, my pain or his effort with me to take care of me, so I tried to give up the idea of suicide at least, and understand that I have to give my body all the time necessary to heal.
I know it's a long process of "correspondence" with the body and the power to get through the pain. I know.
If I drew a line so far, in full pain, I was encouraged to walk over that line with and together with the pain, just to see what it would be like and especially from the encouragement received.

The pain is still there, dull in the muscles and back, sometimes "I let it hurt" for a few hours and then I drink some ampoules of metamizole (which is banned in the EU) and very efficient for me, but it is still on the market in our country, a country so small but big enough that we can all handle it...

I wish Val a lot of strength, if I could, I would die something of me just to bring her comfort, because I know what it means to embrace pain and joy, death and life.
I wish I could bring her joy, somehow.
If she wants, and she can write, she can contact me anytime, I will give her my email address and I can write to her, she can communicate with me about anything, I am willing to understand absolutely anything.

I might add that my husband of over 20 years had the best arguments to convince me and change over time, I can say that it was not easy for him, but somehow, he managed to get me out of this problem. Now, somehow, with a pretty big patience that I still give time to, we are both waiting for my final healing, maybe in two years, who knows.

I wish you a lot of strength Ernie, I wish you both could get over this. There should be no pain in the world.

Maybe my story is sad, but I don't see it that way now, I just said it because I feel close to your feelings, because you have to know that you are not alone,
because you have to know that, me, a stranger, quite far away, I care.
I'm sorry for the long writing, but that's the only way I can express my thoughts of well-being and recovery for Val, I only wish you well Ernie!

With love,
Anca

[thepainterdoug]

Dear Ernie

my now friend Kelly Sammy took her life years ago. She returned from the ordeal as s NDE person I guess cause she is still with us. She posted 4/15 minute vids that recount her story that are quite riveting. They are on youtube.
attached is a full length interview with Kelly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tGhpEtx9oE
should you have interest in this, ill find the 15 min vids for you.

also have you heard of Kratom? i hear from people it has helped them alot. i actually have some I never tried and is unopened. Id be happy to give it to you

love and support
doug

[Ernie Nemeth]

Thanks much for all the kind words, I really mean it. They do help.

I want to especially thank those who have chosen to share their own experiences and anecdotes.

Many need to hear this, I am convinced. It is very difficult to deal with the threat of suicide, and it must be hell to have to choose it as the best option. Helplessness in the face of it is probably not the first tactic, either.

They have probably tried reason, love, compassion, threats, violence, authorities, more threats, more violence, more love, more reason, and so on. Until a point is reached. Until the maddening idea is no longer new. Until every tactic fails. Until only hope remains and the certainty that suicide cannot be the option. Until the option of suicide is given its due. Until the final release of all expectation. Until the acceptance that all living things must die.

Here at last, at this horrible humbling place, at this crux, at this moment, right then, it becomes quite evident we are not in control.

That our lives are lived as though they never end but they always do. It is the most natural thing after birth.

It might take many circles round those emotions before a place of detente can be reached, a place where a balance can be maintained. For nobody comes here willingly and no one comes completely convinced. Because there is always hope if there is God.

Funny thing is, almost all of us find ourselves here on one side of the issue or the other, whether ourselves passing or a loved one.

Either side can find themselves here.

At the place where the surrender occurs and it is finally stated:

It is alright to die.

[raregem]

This thread and contributions are so very loving and filled with such wisdom.
I am overwhelmed emotionally for such caring and guidance !

A few months back my 15 yo neighbor was screaming a horrific scream and the sound was getting louder so that it was near me. I snapped and realized he was in dire straights. It was early in the morning, I ran outside and he was on fire. OMG. I ran to him, took off my shirt and tried to get the fire out. It kept restarting. As I was doing this all around his body he said he wanted to die, had poured gasoline on himself but did not think it would hurt so much. He wanted help. I put cool water from the outside faucet on him and people finally were gathered. A lady called EMS and his mother. He was so concerned about his parents. It was surreal. I haven't been told how he doing but that he has survived. His emotional pain was/is? so deep. He is just 15.
I have a distant cousin I just heard has been in severe physical distress with constant spasms about 2 months now. Her doctors have not been able to remedy this and she has lost weight. Her husband is a loving, supportive man. She is suffering and wants it to end. I am not sure if she wants to die? I can only imagine the draining of life's energy and when does the pain override the will to live?

I do believe the right CBD oil relieves the strain and pain especially full spectrum. Not all CBD is created equal. Cold pressed is a great start. Also, Rick Simpson oil (as mentioned here) has been shown to "cure" melanoma. That is only one problem. There are so many it will help.
Emotional pain is harder to clarify. I feel this goes to facing the shadow self and takes some a lifetime of focus on clearing. Difficult to accept the damage of childhood trust being abused.
Val is blessed to have you Ernie and you are strengthened by Val as well. Much love and healing on all levels.

[onawah]

There may be some useful info in old posts here:
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1268512
and here:
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...=1#post1245441
(More on that latter thread from other members too that should be helpful.)

[Ernie Nemeth]

Thanks Onawah. Interesting and, IMO, valid possible causative. Karma can be a b****. Ulli, long time Avalon member, once told me Val's and my Venus align in a way that makes me owe her a debt from a past life. She says there was no refusing the debt this time around.

Raregem that is a scary story. Depression can lead to suicide and the signs are not clear or even evident.

I've neglected to reveal my personal secret weapon. There are always fresh flowers on Val's coffee table for a few months now. It's a little bit of indoor sunshine! I am sure that has helped with her mood.

And I also find baking helps with her mood. Her favorite is banana bread with walnuts. I try to have one of those always at hand. The smell of the baking also elevates the mood, and so does the yummy taste...

She likes when I make furniture for our place. So for the last few years I have furnished the house with my creations that I call Functional Art. So many different pieces.

So I have been hurrying to finish my masterpiece, I have wanted to build one for a long time.

I just commissioned a giant cedar chest that goes under the bedroom window!

Within hours she had it packed to the brim. Now there is serenity at last in the bedroom, and there is some Feng Shui flowing with the matching beautiful bed, dresser, and now the cedar chest. No more plastic boxes stacked to the ceiling. That also has a calming effect.

Now if I could only finalize a plan for the recycle center...

[Zirconian]

Ernie,

Your post reminds me that the simple things done with great love and care mean the most.

It was great to read how your simple, heartfelt creations and solutions lift Val's mood.

[Patient]

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
Thanks Onawah. Interesting and, IMO, valid possible causative. Karma can be a b****. Ulli, long time Avalon member, once told me Val's and my Venus align in a way that makes me owe her a debt from a past life. She says there was no refusing the debt this time around.

Raregem that is a scary story. Depression can lead to suicide and the signs are not clear or even evident.

I've neglected to reveal my personal secret weapon. There are always fresh flowers on Val's coffee table for a few months now. It's a little bit of indoor sunshine! I am sure that has helped with her mood.

And I also find baking helps with her mood. Her favorite is banana bread with walnuts. I try to have one of those always at hand. The smell of the baking also elevates the mood, and so does the yummy taste...

She likes when I make furniture for our place. So for the last few years I have furnished the house with my creations that I call Functional Art. So many different pieces.

So I have been hurrying to finish my masterpiece, I have wanted to build one for a long time.

I just commissioned a giant cedar chest that goes under the bedroom window!

Within hours she had it packed to the brim. Now there is serenity at last in the bedroom, and there is some Feng Shui flowing with the matching beautiful bed, dresser, and now the cedar chest. No more plastic boxes stacked to the ceiling. That also has a calming effect.

Now if I could only finalize a plan for the recycle center...

Oh how I hear you about needing a big trip to the recycling center - I need a whole new truck to get things moving more around here!

And my wife has been promising some banana bread for a while now - we have just been so busy. Gonna get the kids to try their hand at it.

If only we lived closer to each other! Who knows - we might be closer than we think. We are planning a big party in the spring, so we will see!

[Perdido]

I have had more pain than I expected.

MSM-Sulfur helps reduce inflammation .. A mineral that is in every cell membrane.. helps detox the cell.. take 1-2 tsp in a shot of water 1-2 x/day.

Marijuana Oil really works.. but can make you goofy.. and makes driving dangerous.. DWI..
I saw no effect from CBD Oil.

Magnesium.. Epson Salt Baths are Magnesium

Dilantin.. a cheap Rx Drug from the 30's works wonders.. 100-300 mg per day.

Far Infrared Heating Pads.. by Thermotex.. stimulates heat 3cc deep to increase blood flow.

Deep Tissue Massages.. Spasms cut off blood flow.. it is the blood that heals you.

Some pain gels..

[Ernie Nemeth]

This is a continuation of my response in the Evaluating New Age Rationality thread.

My wife was in terrible pain for the last two days, crying incessantly about the pain being too much to bear. So I had to finally break through to her mind the way I always do, with her and others, and that might not come across the same in my writing even though I do it here too sometimes.

Here I have been ridiculed for it, with threads opened just to insult me. But I get it, I sound insincere and too into myself when I do it. But it is sincere and those who have been exposed to it in real time in my presence do not question because it is not questionable when it happens to you personally.

I went into 'higher self' mode, channeling incoming streams of data designed for the receiver. I do not have much to do with that, I just open myself to receive and share.

I cannot say what I told her, as it is personal. But I can give you the gist. I told her I was here because I love her unconditionally. I told her she is my mission here on earth at this time. I told her that I am here to ensure that she finds her way to heaven and not accidentally directed elsewhere - or on purpose. I told her that I am not any good in this life, that I have never had training in living this joke of a life in this travesty of a world. But that I am infinitely capable to find my way back home - it is all I dream of. I told her that I am her defense against mistakes, not in this world but on the way to the next. I cannot be tricked, most others can. I told her she can rest assured that I will make sure she finds her brother on the other side. And in that voice I use at such times I told her that I cannot be deterred, that together we will find our way home. But, I told her, the time is not yet and even your brother has told you so in your dreams. Of course I was right, she had dreamed about her brother telling her to trust me because I had been entrusted with her safety and safe return to our god together. I told her that it is not yet time, but soon.

She fell asleep soon after...

I am convinced chronic pain is often a dysfunctional recall of the memory of pain. Or another way of saying it is to state that the memory of pain fades slower than the actual pain and if the pain returns it is hard to adjust the intensity level without the recall of past events, which only exasperates the situation.

[onawah]

We just had an ice storm here so it's freezing cold and the humidity level is 96%.
I don't know if that is what is causing the worse than usual pain in my joints and legs, but no doubt it's contributing.
The thing is though, I'm keeping warm but even so my pain level so far this winter has been much worse than any winter before.
Each winter has seen my pain level go up a little bit, but this winter there's been an exponential leap, and it's happened rather suddenly.

Because I am EMF-sensitive, I can't help but wonder if there has been an extra fierce onslaught of dangerous frequencies being directed at us, possibly from the 5G satellites they keep launching.
5G messes with our mitochondria function, which causes all kinds of pain and problems.
In my area so far, they haven't installed all the new 5G equipment, but it feels like the cell phone towers have been amped up.
Or something...

The other thing is that other tenants in the senior complex where I live appear to be experiencing the same thing, suddenly barely able to hobble around at all, and visits from the emergency ambulances have been on the rise.
I'm taking turmeric and plenty of good supplements, trying to avoid pain medications, but what I really need is a warm water salt pool or hot tub I could exercise in, and that is not available to me, unfortunately.
So my life style has become very sedentary, and if whatever is causing this isn't resolved, I may have to be confined to a wheelchair soon, I think, because I may not be able to walk at all much longer, even with my crutches.

On the whole, I'm not especially depressed or suicidal, but the prospects of my quality of life suddenly plummeting due to no longer being able to live independently really makes me feel like I would much rather just get it over with.
I have no family or close friends here where I'm living now, having left most of them behind on the West Coast.
If I still lived there, where voluntary euthanasia is legal, I would probably be exploring my options, though I doubt if any doctor would sign off on it for me since my general health isn't too bad and my immune system is pretty strong (haven't been sick in years) --it's the osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia and joint problems which are the issue.
I could probably live on for a few more years at least in an Assisted Living facility, but I can't afford that, and don't really want to, in any case.
Being an INFJ, I need a lot of personal space.
And public nursing homes are just a nightmare I would so much rather avoid.

The ironic thing is, I'll bet a lot of seniors would opt for euthanasia, especially given the current climate of fear and oppression, making the globalists' furtive schemes to eliminate us via their arsenal of secret weapons relatively unnecessary.
I don't mean to be a downer--just stating a sad truth which is probably true for a lot of others right now.

But I won't be sad to leave this worn out, 72 year old body, in any case; I'm sure it will be a relief!
But perhaps there will be a sudden change in the next few months if things go well enough on a planetary scale and hopefully I will be able to stick around long enough to find out.
But if I suddenly disappear from the forum, it probably will mean I have succumbed (quietly in my sleep, hopefully, and in my own bed) in which case, I hope you all will keep up the good fight, and no doubt I will be cheering you on from the other side.