Commented On My Sister's FB Page - Whoops

[onawah]

The West Coast US has a completely different mindset than anywhere else I've experienced.
I can't speak to other countries, but I've lived on the East Coast, West Coast and in between, and when I moved from the East Coast to CA. in '72, I experienced a kind of culture shock that completely floored me.
It's almost like there's something in the air or water that puts a spell on people.
It's not only mesmerizing, it's addictive.
Like some kind of mind-numbing mist that wafts its way up the coast from Hollywood, making it harder and harder to distinguish reality from wishful thinking.

I lived there for 20 years and always had a love/hate relationship with the West Coast state of mind, but I felt vastly relieved when I finally left.
It just never felt real to me, though there were times I fervently wished it did, so that I could just finally relax.

My dearest friends there are still locked into it for the most part as far as I can tell, but may be waking up slowly just a little bit.
I don't engage in debates, but I regularly send them articles about the dangers of vaccines, the one subject about which I cannot remain silent (but which they don't respond to).
And I post the most revealing articles I can find on an array of subjects on my Facebook page (though I normally only hear back from those who agree with me, and none of them are living on the West Coast...)

It only seems to cause more division to confront the madness face to face, though perhaps I just lack the necessary skill or patience.
But for my own peace of mind, I can't remain silent either.
I regularly post what rings true to me on FB, which provides me an outlet for those feelings that tell me I have to at least try.
Other venues like Parler might be better, but FB is still where the people are who need to hear alternative views.
No one is completely right or wrong, though quibbling about details hardly helps either.

Keeping some love, compassion and understanding in our hearts may be the best thing we can do in the face of so much division.
And finding whatever constructive things we can do that we enjoy to improve our lives and share that with others who are open to it.

Though I don't recommend turning our backs to the controversy either....
That just makes it too easy for creepy things to sneak up from behind.



(Gotta keep your sense of humor... )

[Deborah (ahamkara)]

Posted by Jad (here)
For most people being right is more important than the truth itself. At first I thought it was my duty to try to wake up family and friends. My family didn’t mind as long as I didn’t point out the contradictions in their religious beliefs. My friends think that I consider everything a conspiracy and that I need to show some trust in the system cause it got us to the “peak of human civilization”. Then it hit me: who am I to try to tell people how to think? We are all on our individual journeys and no matter how much love and care we have for family and friends, we simply need to let them be. I know this will sound like a cliché, but changing ourselves internally will help everyone around us way much more than just simply trying to change their minds about something they believe in.

This strikes me as an extraordinarily wise post. Thank you

[Olam]

Posted by Mike (here)
My older sister lives in Seattle, and embraces all the politics there. I find those politics horrifying.

Until recently we've almost never discussed anything political. I've always known her views on things and never saw any point in engaging her on them. Like most people, she's entrenched, and I knew that any attempt on my part to offer a new perspective would be met with heavy resistance and might create unnecessary familial tension.

But after her last post I couldn't help myself. That post went something like this (paraphrase): "I wonder if the same Trump people that condemned the BLM protests will speak out against the events in DC.."

A poster responded to that post with the following: "Violence is violence and I don't like any of it.."

And my sister responded: "you can't compare the two because BLM is a civil rights movement..

Like most people, I have a certain reverence for my older siblings, and assign them characteristics they may not necessarily deserve as a result. I've always viewed my older sister as wise and devastatingly smart; infallible almost. But her comments were so ignorant and astoundingly dumb that I found myself almost paralyzed in my attempt to respond. After all, where would I even begin???

I've had a FB profile for over a decade but have only posted maybe 3 or 4 times. I only use it for the chat option - for overseas friends mainly - and to occasionally check up on old classmates. Posting there is something that my soul rejects with all its might. But I had to make an exception here.

I wrote (paraphrase): BLM is much more than a civil rights movement. It's a defacto political party and, increasingly, a business. And they have also been, at varying times: arsonists, looters, extortionists, and even murderers. That group in DC would have to rampage thru half a dozen cities for the next 6 months for there to be any kind of fair comparison. I don't like what happened in DC but if we're going to compare we have to be fair in our assessments.."

I immediately regretted writing it, on the one hand. If I felt strongly enough about it, maybe I should have just called or texted her? Right? I couldn't quite decide.

Anyway, I texted her and apologized, and wrote what I just wrote in my last paragraph here, and explained that I was going to erase the post. I didn't want to upset her, for starters, but I also didn't want to embarrass her in front of her FB friends. So I erased it.

She texted back a little while later, saying no worries, I wasn't mad etc, but I "think your sources are BS"

I knew she was upset. I didn't believe the text for a second. But what I kept getting caught on was the word "sources". Nothing I said required any exotic sources. I just knew that stuff on the strength of being alive. Anyone watching their local news would know that stuff. Common knowledge, right?

Then why are so many people thinking like my sister? I simply can't fathom it. How could anyone not only forgive 6 months of rioting,looting, arson, and murder under the banner of "civil rights", but also aggressively condemn the recent events in DC without feeling like an enormous hypocrite?

Someone please help me understand this

As I wrote earlier in another thread, I'm living the same with my dad.

Here is what I get from this...

The ability to have some perspective these days is important. This being said, not everyone has those tools at hand.
For example, we all tend to focus on our own problems and it's difficult to put that aside and be fully in someone else's shoes as they say.
Very many humans have it way more difficult than us privileged folks living in modern society, yet we bath fully in our own difficult reality.
There is a war on our consciousness now and it's been there for a long time.
The main tool in this war is fear. A fear that is under the rug but always there.
Every time you walk on that part of the rug, you are subconsciously reminded of it's presence without really knowing what to do about it.
So if I speak for my dad, he has learned to create a comfort zone to deal this fear.
For him, it's about sitting in front of the tv and listening to his favorite newscaster, who inspires confidence in his business suit and the fact that he has been at it for 30 years or more.
When someone like me comes along to shake things up a bit, I am seen as dangerous as I put a crack on the glass bubble.
The lord knows I have been trying to "help" him out of that for many years.
Now I realize that if there is going to be any drastic changes in the way he sees things, it will have to come from him and whatever is the catalyst for that.
I can thank my dad for proving to me that change can only come from inside you, nobody can change someone else.
All I can do, which is extremely difficult these days is to be present in compassion, understanding the reasons personal to my dad why he lives the way he does.
All of us are here to learn from our "mistakes". Even if it's 10 minutes before you die, it will have all been worth it.
Even then, some folks only realize the truth in spirit form once they have left the body,....this too is valid and part of what it is to be human.

Many blessings to you and your sister.

[onawah]

I attended Codependents Anonymous meetings for awhile back in my 30s (my dad was an alcoholic), and the best piece of wisdom I came away with from that was an understanding about the need to be right.
It really rang true for me because as a child, I sometimes felt like I was the only sane one in the bunch, and if I didn't keep my head on straight, the whole family would end up in some kind of disastrous situation.
Apparently that is common among children from dysfunctional families, and it's hard to shake even as an adult because it's so deeply ingrained.
To some extent, we are all traumatized children in this world and that need to be right, and the belief that we are, for some of us may seem to be all there is to cling to to ward off disaster.
While in others, sadly, there may be a need to feel like a victim simply because the reality is they are (perhaps)so undeservedly privileged that phony victimhood is all that keeps them from dealing with the pangs of their guilty conscience.
But that's a whole different discussion.

Posted by Jad (here)
For most people being right is more important than the truth itself. At first I thought it was my duty to try to wake up family and friends. My family didn’t mind as long as I didn’t point out the contradictions in their religious beliefs. My friends think that I consider everything a conspiracy and that I need to show some trust in the system cause it got us to the “peak of human civilization”. Then it hit me: who am I to try to tell people how to think? We are all on our individual journeys and no matter how much love and care we have for family and friends, we simply need to let them be. I know this will sound like a cliché, but changing ourselves internally will help everyone around us way much more than just simply trying to change their minds about something they believe in.