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17th March 2021 22:37
Link to Post #41
Avalon Member
Re: Men, ejaculating is the single biggest handicap you can give yourself in the game of life
Quite right Araucaria, But....
I doubt the young man wrote the OP with loving, interpersonal relations in mind. He may write that some day, but that is not the subject he was asking us about.
We gotta write those loving, interpersonal stories, the so much more enjoyable ones ourselves, though if you look throughout Avalon there are many references to the many deeper, long lasting and much richer living some of us have had with our partners. Getting stuck in sexual identity may be missing so much of the beauty that we share, even as we continue to have intimate connections along the way. I see him noticing that, even if it is tangental and I'm reading my insight into it all. Did we forget to ask him what examples of loving relationships his parents and friends have?
Make no mistake about it, whether written or not, starting a thread here is asking us what we know, what we've experienced and if we can share some of that knowledge. Even more so, if the heading of the thread is so insistent, claiming to be a fact, as if we are all so inexperienced and unaware. It's a challenge to accept with understanding or offense. He's gotten both, with a fair share of understandable "went there's" mixed in which should be helpful, to even the most insistent inquiry.
It's not as if we've been entirely insightful with him, as it was he who exposed himself, not us. Maybe we don't have much to offer him as he is a fellow member here in this family......As if we were never him, in his place, with our own outer attractions being pushed on us by a demanding society......
It seems he is dealing with finding another path other than the one society has laid out for handsome young adults, men and women alike, though the life path of young women is so much more abusive and insistent upon using them and not seeing them as the people they are.
The insistence of those who control society, that many young women and men look, act and perform in their lives a certain way, is so pervasive that these young people confine their lives, their spirits, their undiscovered futures in the cages others have made, which can greatly diminish the empowerment they should have in living the intimate lives they would/ they alone should, choose. When one young soul seeks to find his or her own way I think it best we step back and see ourselves in their position, bypass their youthful arrogance and ask some deeper questions, offer some paths that may be of help. We have done some of that already on this thread......
I see he wrote about his looks in that way, as he is not aware of how to articulate his natural distaste for the way society pushes him to behave, and he just doesn't want to ignore his energetic relationship to his own life's path. The yogic methods he describes, though helpful, won't help his attitude in dealing with what others assume he should become. That too is another yoga, but just one not often articulated, that of living in this complicated and intrusive world without being diverted away from our true paths. This is likely the first time a young man has written to us, as a community of values, concerning this one topic.
We're watching him go thru what he feels is a draining of his energy. That's normal and real. That makes sense in a world that has used and abused sexuality to manipulate society and separate the amazing power that the meeting of the sexes can manifest, within and far beyond sexuality.
Few his age talk about it that way and he's here, with us, knowing full well he'll get some honest and experiential feedback. And yes, extremes rarely, if ever are worthy life paths. We see, I see, him both grasping at solutions and exposing himself, as he is without being coy or humble, to advice that will be helpful. We'll either succeed or we won't in choosing to be helpful.
I wouldn't worry about the crutch of being handsome for him, as that will pass as he succeeds in going beyond externalizing his energy and evolving his energy to follow the path his soul seeks. I can't describe what that is, as like many things, words cannot fit the living. Many times the paths to awareness are journeys that don't have clear routes to follow. And that is one of life's beauties....
In my opinion it would have been, and maybe someday will be, a thread about how he has transmuted his sexual energies thru the methods he posted, while still living with those things many of us consider normal and healthy, responsible, consensual, sexual expressions.
Sexual energy between the sexes is amazing, awesome and at times transcendent and clarifying.....And it is very different from one gender to the other. Where humanity lost it's connection to touch and forgot to love the entire body, by merely servicing the lowest sexual denominator, is beyond common sense. I don't see the young man's inquiry as being anything but being a bit premature...and we sometimes forget who we were when we were younger...
Last edited by Hym; 17th March 2021 at 22:55.
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17th March 2021 23:07
Link to Post #42