The Gym

[Mike]

So I think this deserves a thread of its own. Maybe not. I s'pose I'll find out pretty quickly.

There's some weird people at my gym. Maybe it's because I go at midnight. But it's actually been the case in all the gyms I've been to over the years. Anyway, I find myself inventing names for all of them according to their appearance and mannerisms, just to amuse myself.

This one guy, for example: a smallish man, in poor shape, quite pudgy, wears a skin tight Christiano Ronaldo jersey every time he's in there. Why the xtra small jersey, I often wonder. A poor choice. Anyway, he's awkward, wears specs and is a bit nerdy. I call him Rick Moranis, cuz of the resemblance to the actor. So I was watching Moranis last night, because he was right in front of me, and he didn't do a single exercise for about 30 mins. Just fiddled with his phone the whole time, pacing back n forth. So what was he doing in that gym at midnight, pacing back n forth with his phone, wearing that skin tight Ronaldo jersey..stubbornly avoiding any kind of exercise? I don't know, but I found it to be oddly distracting. And as the clock ticked away, very annoying. It was all I could do to not approach him and shout, Are you gonna do something or what?!!? As I was leaving the gym I looked over my shoulder and saw him..still doing nothing. Weird.

This other dude I often see in there I call Jason Vorhees, after the axe wielding freak in the horror movies. I call him that because he's quite tall, large, and is covered head to toe in gear: hat, creepy face covering, dingy long sleeve shirt and pants, and weathered old boots. Ive never seen his face. He walks around very slowly, but just when you've underestimated him, boom!, he's right behind you..just like the Voorhees of the movies.

Another character i see in there is a guy I call Willie Randolph due to his resemblance to the baseball great, but also because he spends his entire time in the gym pretending to be involved in an imaginary baseball game. He fields ground balls, makes throws to first base, and even holds up his fingers to indicate how many outs there are in this illusory game. It's all remarkably detailed. He never actually works out. It is astounding. I thought maybe he was mental in some way, but when I heard him talking to the front desk guy he sounded totally sane. Bizarre.

Another notable is Marilyn Manson. I call him that because he looks like Manson, only bulkier. His thing is this: he will find a machine that is used for, say, biceps, and somehow turn it into leg workout. And then he will stand up and scan the gym in the hopes that the rest of us are all looking on in admiration at his inventiveness. Or at least that's what i imagine he's doing. Last night I saw him doing squats from his back. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

There are numerous characters like these that I've given names too. Too many to count. Finally I grew a bit sick of them all and upgraded my membership so I could go to the other planet fitness in the next town over. I needed a fresh start, and a space free of all the stale faces I normally see on a nighty basis. So tonight I walk into this other planet fitness, invigorated and ready to go. I approach the dumbell area and who do I see? It's f#cking Rick Moranis, pacing back and forth with his head buried in his stupid phone, wearing that same ridiculous Ronaldo jersey. It felt like a cruel joke of some sort. I walked out of the gym immediately without even looking up, cuz I was afraid i might see Manson doing bicep curls on a hamstring machine or Vorhees scowling behind his creepy face covering.

So long story short I went to my usual gym, and it was just me and Willie Randolph in there tonight. I did my chest workout while he fielded imaginary ground balls, and I was strangely ok with it all. Just mildly annoyed. I'm thinking of changing gyms but i only pay 10 bucks a month at mine. Hard to beat.

You guys have any weirdos in your gyms?

[Trisher]

Hilarious Mike. At the pool and Spa I go to there are people in the Steam room with their phones. They keep wiping the fogged up screen. There are folks walking around the pool close to the edge looking at their phones, miraculously never falling in. Some leave their phones by the pools edge and look at it every two or three lengths. There are folks in the pool who never swim, just stand in the water at the side talking either to themselves or to another. I watch as people enter the steam room which states clearly "Push button to turn on" and they go inside and sit for 10/15 mins waiting for it to turn on automatically. Eventually coming out and realising they have to press the button.

I wonder who watches me and wonders why I do what I do.

[Gracy]

Kind of the same here Mike, the noticing people thing, except at the local piano lounge and I don't have nick names for them.

There's the old man who likes to make love to his tonic and gin. Always an old song he can't ever quite put his finger on it, but knows that it was sad, sweet, and he knew it complete, when he wore a younger man's clothes.

Then there's John at the bar, he gets me my drinks for free. He's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there's someplace that he'd rather be. You see he'll tell you how this job is killing him, as a smile runs away from his face, cos he's sure that he could be a movie star if he could just get out of that place.

Can't forget about ole Paul who pops is regularly. He likes talking to Davey, who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life.

Yeah, you'll see it all here. Waitresses practicing politics, as businessmen slowly get stoned, I reckon they're all sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone.

[9ideon]

That Guy on the phone is probably observing you observing him and he pretends to be on his phone so he can secretly make pictures of you when you are observing someone else, in the meantime he is posting all these pictures on some social media site named "the Creepy Observer". LoL

[Trisher]

Posted by Gracy May (here)
Kind of the same here Mike, the noticing people thing, except at the local piano lounge and I don't have nick names for them.

There's the old man who likes to make love to his tonic and gin. Always an old song he can't ever quite put his finger on it, but knows that it was sad, sweet, and he knew it complete, when he wore a younger man's clothes.

Then there's John at the bar, he gets me my drinks for free. He's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there's someplace that he'd rather be. You see he'll tell you how this job is killing him, as a smile runs away from his face, cos he's sure that he could be a movie star if he could just get out of that place.

Can't forget about ole Paul who pops is regularly. He likes talking to Davey, who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life.

Yeah, you'll see it all here. Waitresses practicing politics, as businessmen slowly get stoned, I reckon they're all sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0

[Mashika]

Meanwhile on some other forum:

"There's this guy at the gym that always watches me while i pace around using my phone, i bet he even has a nick name for me.. anyways i switched to another gym location and on my first day there you wont believe who showed up..."
- Rick

I used to see some guy doing lots of noices at the fym, like when doing squats he would make noises as if he was lifting half a ton of weights, it was truly annoying, one day another guy got fed up and basically yelled "can you shut up already?" from the other side of the gym, it was hilarious, guy never made any more noises after that

[Karen (Geophyz)]

Posted by Mike (here)

You guys have any weirdos in your gyms?

I used to go to the gym after work with a male friend from my office. We noticed that a fellow named Joe always signed up for equipment we were on....and he put a heart for the "o" in his name. My friend said...I think he his flirting with you. One day he walked up to my friend and asked him if he wanted to go for coffee.......safe to say he was NOT flirting with ME!

We found another gym.

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

Always thought the gym was the hangout of questionable types, beyond the genuine fitness fanatics of course. But to go there at midnight... Jeez. To be honest, for whatever reason, at midnight I would expect to see the same sort of crowd in there that frequent the local bus station at that hour. As in, your various Marilyn Mansons and Jason Vorhees types.

You've got some serious cojones to not do an immediate 180, Mike. If it was me, i'd be like:

[Mark]

I live in a college town and the gym we go to has a bunch of babies in it. By babies, I mean college students. The ones who stand out to me are "the beautiful ones", the boys and girls who wear all of the latest gear and spend so much time looking at themselves in the mirror that you're not sure if they're there to work out or to just use wall size mirrors to admire their perfect faces and bodies.

I was an athlete as a young man and into my 30s but that was all before social media and phones and the current phase of folks just being uber-narcissistic. We looked in the mirror while working out and I still do, but this is on another level. And it is ok, socially acceptable, to just be outright all about working that perfection, taking selfies and modeling athletic wear. I'm a big fan of the young being youthful and oblivious in their beauty, I guess it's just a new way of being to see what the rituals of body modification look like in today's society among the babies.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=xSJAeWPEWTw

[Mike]

Posted by Trisher (here)
Hilarious Mike. At the pool and Spa I go to there are people in the Steam room with their phones. They keep wiping the fogged up screen. There are folks walking around the pool close to the edge looking at their phones, miraculously never falling in. Some leave their phones by the pools edge and look at it every two or three lengths. There are folks in the pool who never swim, just stand in the water at the side talking either to themselves or to another. I watch as people enter the steam room which states clearly "Push button to turn on" and they go inside and sit for 10/15 mins waiting for it to turn on automatically. Eventually coming out and realising they have to press the button.

I wonder who watches me and wonders why I do what I do.

That's too funny

There's no pool or steam room at my gym, but people sure are preoccupied with their phones. I recall being there on a Sat afternoon once, and when i looked up from what i was doing i just saw a crowd of people staring blankly into their phones, looking almost hypnotized. It was like a Twilight Zone episode or something, where everyone is suddenly frozen in place.

My friend Marcus is 50 years old, and is the only person i know who still doesn't have a phone. He calls them "chimp transponders", and I think it's a pretty good name for them!

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by Gracy May (here)
Kind of the same here Mike, the noticing people thing, except at the local piano lounge and I don't have nick names for them.

There's the old man who likes to make love to his tonic and gin. Always an old song he can't ever quite put his finger on it, but knows that it was sad, sweet, and he knew it complete, when he wore a younger man's clothes.

Then there's John at the bar, he gets me my drinks for free. He's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there's someplace that he'd rather be. You see he'll tell you how this job is killing him, as a smile runs away from his face, cos he's sure that he could be a movie star if he could just get out of that place.

Can't forget about ole Paul who pops is regularly. He likes talking to Davey, who's still in the navy, and probably will be for life.

Yeah, you'll see it all here. Waitresses practicing politics, as businessmen slowly get stoned, I reckon they're all sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone.

Were you forced to google the lyrics or did you know them by heart? That's what I wanna know

[Mike]

Posted by Mashika (here)
Meanwhile on some other forum:

"There's this guy at the gym that always watches me while i pace around using my phone, i bet he even has a nick name for me.. anyways i switched to another gym location and on my first day there you wont believe who showed up..."
- Rick

I used to see some guy doing lots of noices at the fym, like when doing squats he would make noises as if he was lifting half a ton of weights, it was truly annoying, one day another guy got fed up and basically yelled "can you shut up already?" from the other side of the gym, it was hilarious, guy never made any more noises after that

Yeah it wasn't lost on me that perhaps in his universe i was the ever present weirdo. Maybe he's thinking, can't a guy fiddle with his phone at midnight in a gym without seeing the same annoying faces judging him all the time? And he'd be perfectly justified in that thought. But it won't stop me from judging him. Or the others. Because I'm a cranky dick and that's my job. And despite the fact that I'm in a gym at midnight, wearing a sweatshirt in 90 degree weather, my ego is still great at convincing me I'm not the weird one..it's those people out there that are weird Gotta love the ego. But perhaps I'll pay for it all by appearing on "the creepy observer" site mad scientist guessed at. Somehow it wouldn't surprise me

[Mike]

Hey Mark, before i signed up at planet fitness i was at 24 hr fitness. Much more expensive there and all the people looked fit in ways that suggested marathons...but still impressively muscular. They looked like european footballers. And they were all bouncy and enthusiastic and dressed in all the latest fancy sporting gear and so forth. And here i am, dressed like Rocky Balboa in Rocky 1, sweating awkwardly thru my grey sweatshirt, panting away ..trying to keep up in some embarrassing way. I felt silly in there and lasted about a week lol.

Maybe I'm right where i belong at planet fitness! Lol

[Mike]

Posted by Karen (Geophyz) (here)

Posted by Mike (here)

You guys have any weirdos in your gyms?

I used to go to the gym after work with a male friend from my office. We noticed that a fellow named Joe always signed up for equipment we were on....and he put a heart for the "o" in his name. My friend said...I think he his flirting with you. One day he walked up to my friend and asked him if he wanted to go for coffee.......safe to say he was NOT flirting with ME!

We found another gym.

Funny you should say that...

I was totally oblivious to it for a while, but midnight and after at my gym consists of mostly gay men, with a few exceptions. No one has asked me to go for coffee yet tho

I prefer the gay men to the straight men in there, because they wipe down all the machines they use, don't hog the equipment, and aren't nearly as obnoxious.

star mariner, i get it, midnight seems like a strange time to go, and perhaps it is! I only do it because there are far less people in there then and i can get away with going maskless.

[onawah]

Well, one less weirdo at my local gym, since I stopped going when it became mandatory to wear a face mask.
(One of the main points for working out being to get as much oxygen into your body as possible. )

I love Mad Scientist's idea about the "Creepy Observer", and I hope you will take him up on it, Mike.
It's not a totally original idea, of course, since people have been taking photos and videos of weirdos at WalMart for some time now, but the gym locale would make for a welcome variation on the general theme.

Of course, it could be tricky to get the creepy ones' photos without being observed yourself, but you could probably figure out a good way to disguise what you are actually doing.
(Maybe a variation on the "flasher" although then you might have to wear something over your sweatshirt.
Perhaps it could be rigged so the camera would take a photo every time you opened the raincoat.
If nothing else, it would certainly add to your own cranky dick weirdo repertoire!
Just kidding. )


But then it might not really matter to those whose images are being preserved for posterity.
They might actually like being your subjects, and step up their game a bit, particularly the narcissistic types.
Imagine what even weirder things to do they might come up with!

(I started working out when I was in my 30s, and I used to watch myself in the mirror, but not so much because I was one of the "beautiful ones".
It was really because I needed to convince myself that I was actually there, doing that, inasmuch as I had formerly been pretty much of an inveterate coach potato.
BTW, I also don't own a cell phone.
Say hi to Marcus for me. )

Posted by Mike (here)

You guys have any weirdos in your gyms?

[RunningDeer]

I had a membership at Planet Fitness. Before I signed up, I scouted out the parking lot and learned that early afternoons weren’t busy. The first day, I picked the end treadmill closest to the windows. It was a strategic way to create personal space and drowned out the visual and auditory overload of CNN news and other shows.

There were two lines of treadmills about fifteen-twenty per row. I hadn’t been on long enough to break a sweat when a guy came over and step up camp on the one right next to me. None of the other treadmills were in use.

The strange thing was I saw him over at one of the stations, I smelled him. It makes no sense to say that out loud, but I’ve had similar experiences when I look at photographs. I had no physical proof. I’ve since learned that there’s a couple of “clairs” that are not as well know as: clairaudience (hear), claircognizance (know), clairsentience (feel), clairvoyance (see). They’re clairgustance (smell) and clairalience (taste).

He didn’t physically smell from a work out but I was repulsed by his auric field that now also invaded my space. I had two choices, stay and claim my space or move. I grabbed up my stuff and moved to the opposite end. Shortly after, the guy went back to the station he was on earlier.

The same thing happened the next day. I gathered up my things and inquired at the desk about the protocol. I explained this was my second day and it’s happened twice with the same guy. Did I have the right to request that he shift down one or two? They said everyone is free to choose which machines they want to work on.

I never went back.

[Mike]

Posted by RunningDeer (here)
I had a membership at Planet Fitness. Before I signed up, I scouted out the parking lot and learned that early afternoons weren’t busy. The first day, I picked the end treadmill closest to the windows. It was a strategic way to create personal space and drowned out the visual and auditory overload of CNN news and other shows.

There were two lines treadmills of about fifteen-twenty per row. I hadn’t even been on long enough to break a sweat when a guy came over and step up camp on the one right next to me. None of the other treadmills were in use.

The strange thing was I saw him over at one of the stations, I smelled him. It makes no sense to say that out loud, but I’ve had similar experiences when I look at photographs. I had no physical proof. I’ve since learned that there’s a couple of “clairs” that are not as well know as: clairaudience (hear), claircognizance (know), clairsentience (feel), clairvoyance (see). They’re clairgustance (smell) and clairalience (taste).

He didn’t physically smell from a work out but I was repulsed by his auric field that now also invaded my space. I had two choices, stay and claim my space or move. I grabbed up my stuff and moved to the opposite end. Shortly after, the guy went back to the station he was on earlier.

The same thing happened the next day. I gathered up my things and inquired at the desk about the protocol. I explained this was my second day and it’s happened twice with the same guy. Did I have the right to request that he shift down one or two? They said everyone is free to choose which machines they want to work on.

I never went back.

That is a very strange phenomenon. I've experienced it many times myself, particularly at places like Barnes n Nobles. I'll select a corner table in a mostly empty cafe, looking for solitude, and almost unfailingly some idiot will take a seat at the table immediately next to mine. It's just amazing. And it doesn't stop there. Sometimes I would grab one of those foot stools and post up in the most obscure section of the store i could find, like "crocheting" or something, and sure enough just minutes later my peace would be spoiled by a family of 6 looking for a gift for grandma.

There is something going on there, perhaps unconscious, where people who are seeking out solitude attract people who aren't. Studies need to be done.

Nat, try Planet Fitness if youre still interested in the gym. It's super cheap, and members are not required to wear masks while working out..only while you're walking around. During the late hours it's not enforced at all, at least not at my location.

I think Mad Scientist was actually suggesting that i am the creepy observer lol. And maybe he's right!

No phone? I have to say i do admire that. Well done there. I think the trick with smart phones is to never get one one in the first place. Once you're spoiled by the technology it just ruins you. At least it has me.

[Mark]

Posted by Mike (here)
Hey Mark, before i signed up at planet fitness i was at 24 hr fitness. Much more expensive there and all the people looked fit in ways that suggested marathons...but still impressively muscular. They looked like european footballers. And they were all bouncy and enthusiastic and dressed in all the latest fancy sporting gear and so forth. And here i am, dressed like Rocky Balboa in Rocky 1, sweating awkwardly thru my grey sweatshirt, panting away ..trying to keep up in some embarrassing way. I felt silly in there and lasted about a week lol.

Maybe I'm right where i belong at planet fitness! Lol

Yeh, I totally get that, I'm a pretty big dude, 6'4 and 280 pounds, so I look imposing, especially with the middle-age gut. I'm really strong, but it's old man strength with no endurance to go with it, especially with my current long-covid breathlessness still going on.

Being around the babies and the fitness junkies is a bit uncomfortable when I allow myself to even care, which is rarely. No holding in of the gut, no trying to look cute. Appealing in any way to the Gen Z kiddos is creepy at my age and I try not to even interact with them directly. I'm starting to appreciate the old codger modality, I look forward to expressing it even more directly as I age.

[Mike]

Posted by Mark/Rahkyt (here)

Posted by Mike (here)
Hey Mark, before i signed up at planet fitness i was at 24 hr fitness. Much more expensive there and all the people looked fit in ways that suggested marathons...but still impressively muscular. They looked like european footballers. And they were all bouncy and enthusiastic and dressed in all the latest fancy sporting gear and so forth. And here i am, dressed like Rocky Balboa in Rocky 1, sweating awkwardly thru my grey sweatshirt, panting away ..trying to keep up in some embarrassing way. I felt silly in there and lasted about a week lol.

Maybe I'm right where i belong at planet fitness! Lol

Yeh, I totally get that, I'm a pretty big dude, 6'4 and 280 pounds, so I look imposing, especially with the middle-age gut. I'm really strong, but it's old man strength with no endurance to go with it, especially with my current long-covid breathlessness still going on.

Being around the babies and the fitness junkies is a bit uncomfortable when I allow myself to even care, which is rarely. No holding in of the gut, no trying to look cute. Appealing in any way to the Gen Z kiddos is creepy at my age and I try not to even interact with them directly. I'm starting to appreciate the old codger modality, I look forward to expressing it even more directly as I age.

Old man strength with no endurance lol! Brilliant That's me to a "t" , tho I'm not nearly as big as you. If you need someone to help move a huge entertainment stand, or drag a bookshelf down a flight of stairs, I'm your guy. But if you need someone to do something repetitive, that requires perpetual motion, like shoveling a driveway for example, I'm done after about 5 mins

I'm still sucking in the belly a little, but i aspire to your attitude, which i find to be refreshingly honest.

[onawah]

I can't really take credit. I am way too sensitive to emfs to ever want to own one of those things.
Thanks for the suggestion but no Planet Fitness in my small town.
I think my gym days are over, in any case.
What I could go for these days is a big, non-toxic hot tub with jacuzzi that I could do calisthenics in.

Posted by Mike (here)

No phone? I have to say i do admire that. Well done there. I think the trick with smart phones is to never get one one in the first place. Once you're spoiled by the technology it just ruins you. At least it has me.

[onawah]

One good thing about being a "canary in the coal mine"--you learn quickly what things to avoid....

Posted by Mike (here)
No phone? I have to say i do admire that. Well done there. I think the trick with smart phones is to never get one one in the first place. Once you're spoiled by the technology it just ruins you. At least it has me.