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Thread: On Suicide

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    Default On Suicide

    As a targeted individual, I’ve endured continual attacks on my mind, body and soul via A.I., v2s and other forms of mind control. I want to share one experience I had where I was able to overcome the urge to kill myself using creative powers to do so:

    The place where I camp during the summer months in the Eastern Sierras in Ca. has become “militarized “in many ways and the degree of mind control that I have to endure there can be very overwhelming even in such a powerful natural setting as I’ve chosen to live in.

    One night, I was overcome with a suicidal depression that was so bad that if I had access to a gun, I would’ve put it to my head and pulled the trigger. But I didn’t have a gun, so I grabbed my journal and began writing about checking myself into ER from several points of view: the doctor’s p.o.v., nurses p.o.v., their p.o.v., our p.o.v. , God’s p.o.v., and ending it with my own p.o.v. I wrote for approximately an hour and when I was done, I felt grounded, present and clearheaded and the suicidal urge and the accompanying dissociation was completely gone. The impromptu journaling helped derail the bad state of mind that I was in and enabled me to survive. It helped deactivate the suicide/self destruct alter that had been triggered prior, most likely via occult technology.

    Other times, when overcome with thoughts of suicide, I will use my abilities as a musician to give vent to the death urge, such as in this song here entitled Your Vacuum Grave:

    You look at the vacuum tube that is cradled in your hand,
    But you still don’t know how you got to,
    such a dark and loveless land.
    Tucked behind the paradise mirage,
    So you hold a mirror up to the future
    and watch it crack,
    Into the emblematic funeral where your,
    Soul got trapped, your soul got trapped,
    In the vacuum tube that you hold your hand,
    And the ink in your retinas,
    Gets sucked into the motherboard,
    You never should’ve put the gun to your head,
    Because look at where you are:
    A paradise Mirage,
    Shrouded.

    I composed this number thinking about what does happen to the souls of people that commit suicide. There’s a scene in Homer’s Iliad (or Odyssey, I can’t remember which ) where there’s a slave that has absolutely nothing, not even any clothes, sitting in the dirt, contemplating suicide, but wondering if he would go to a world worse than the one he was in. I often think about that too and have had glimpses into such a world. Itis completely horrible,indescribably so, where there’s no connection with anything, no love, no light, just an absolute nothing.

    The other thing that helps squelch suicidal tendencies is keeping in mind the impact such an act would have on others. Here’s one experience that has left an indelible impression on me:


    A friend once asked me if I could help move his stuff from a house in Libertyville, Il. to an apartment he was renting somewhere on the North Shore. My parents had a station wagon, so I agreed to pitch in.

    After about an hour, there was one item left in the upstairs bedroom to move. A dresser of which we both pulled away from the wall. John discovered a piece of paper on the floor near the baseboard, covered with dust and cobwebs. He got on his knees, picked it up and blew it clean. I couldn't help but read, looking over his shoulder, something scrawled on wide ruled, elementary school paper:

    I Will Behave.

    I Will Behave.

    I Will Behave.

    I Will Behave.


    "Scott." John said, barely audible and crumpled up the note.

    Some kids had teased his brother about his hair in Jr. High. But all that is vivid really is me standing behind John, unable to say anything at all. I just stared at the paper in his hands, reading the lines.

    There was nothing to move out of the basement where Scott had hung himself, so we left.

    To this day, the kid's spidery, punishment handwriting remains pencil clear in my memory. The ruled paper too.

    And his age: 13.

    I'm tempted to Google Satellite the house I helped my friend move out of over forty years ago. Maybe it would give me a sense of what really happened. But I have forgotten the address and all the houses blend together in that particular sub-division as they do elsewhere when looked at from an aerial perspective.


    -Jaye B.

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    United States Avalon Member Mark/Rahkyt's Avatar
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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Powerful. Thank you for sharing.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Jaye B so grateful you decided to join Avalon, (safe space) so full of love

    Humongous Hugs to you x

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    I forgot to mention another suicide deterrent: an astrologer once told me that if I were to commit suicide, I would have to reincarnate, suffer through everything I previously suffered through up to the point of where I committed suicide and then resume evolving. Definitely don't want that to happen, so I'll endure until the end.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Quote Posted by Jaye B. (here)
    I forgot to mention another suicide deterrent: an astrologer once told me that if I were to commit suicide, I would have to reincarnate, suffer through everything I previously suffered through up to the point of where I committed suicide and then resume evolving. Definitely don't want that to happen, so I'll endure until the end.
    Or maybe wander the bardo and latch onto and inspire suicide in the living?
    Someone who feels targetted with errant thoughts and has bouts of suicidal depression is just begging for an exorcism ... or many. Check into shamanism, sweat lodges, that kind of thing.
    Last edited by TomKat; 24th April 2021 at 23:51.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    One of the main stealth reason behind spiraling depression and the targeting of individuals (+ what's behind all the silly measures associated with Covid-19):

    Demons - The Presence of Other Worlds 2:39:50

    Streamed live on May 6, 2020

    Windows On The World

    Mark Windows with Jerry Marzinsky and Sherry Swiney following up on our recent show, Are Demons Real?

    Jerry Marzinsky: http://www.jerrymarzinsky.com
    http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JerryMa...

    Sherry Swiney http://www.keyholejourney.com/about-s...
    https://keyholejourney.wordpress.com/...

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Demon, Devils, Archons and Devas delivering the darkness.
    Deva (Dayvuh) in Sanskrit means Angel....but it can mean either kind. In almost all suicides those dark energies are there.

    A friend was talking today about noticing attachments on people, learning as he grew up how to leave those people alone, to follow the feeling, this being all about choices.

    Those of us who have purposely chosen to challenge the darkness by the power of prayer/muntruh have some experiences to share, all about focus. Here's just one:

    In a home dominated by a living, dark female presence, our focus changed everything. We jumped in and stayed there for almost 3 days...

    I was asked by a brother to take a task on, and since we both love the prayers, we prepped for a day and got to it.

    We set the Guide, our vehicle of prayer, on a short table, adorned with clean cloth and washed our hands, drinking enough water to last each alternating 4 hour shift during those 3 days. It was with this Living Guide, the non-denominational One that starts...Ek Ong Kaar..., written by real saints and seers of several paths, not unlike the last written Guide at the time before the last Earth Change some 12,000 plus years ago. This one is called the Siri Guru Granth.

    Before starting we stated our intent to free the souls lost to suicide. We had never done this before for these purposes, but we surely know the power of the frequencies alive in sacred sounds, Naad Nudum (the living, egoless death) and the Sudum Prashaad (constant blessing) that result from singing those songs.

    Two of those spirits were relatives, but we know there were more there, as the matron of the house was described to me, by someone I had never met before, as "not a man hater, but a man killer". Her darkness affected generations, but this was the time of liberation. We knew our only chance would be to do this when she and the rest of those under her influence were away on holiday.

    Randomly opening this Guide's over 4,000 pages in one of the randomly picked 8 volumes containing the original script, the English translation and the colloquial script from the region of India, compared to the one volume of 1,430 pages in the original script alone.....

    The reading, the Hukam Naam was...

    "Those ghosts, upon hearing Creation's/God's Name, become Angels."
    We were on...

    We read the entire, continuous song (made up of 31 Ragas) that is contained within, non-stop in 4 hour shifts, the next reader reading with the one leaving the same words, as one leaves..... the next continues for another 4 hours.

    It took 69 hours and 23 minutes, just a few hours short of the normal 72 hours it takes to read in another language, and longer than the 48 hours it takes to read in the original script, Gurmukhi (GoorMookee). As my brother had yet to gain fluency in that one language new to him, we chose to both read in English. We added to the time it takes to complete the entire song by saying "Waa Hay Guroo" after each sentence.

    It was what had happened during the days of the Endless Song of the Soul that was the proof we came to facilitate. The power of the frequency of the heart, and service for those stuck in the energy created by suicide, was being realized.

    When I read out loud, whisper, chant or sing in this language, more so than in other sacred systems, I begin to see a brilliant orange color, interspersed with purples, whites and other hues, shades of pure energy dancing, as the form of what I see is enhanced, like a Van Gogh painting with wave forms connecting everything to each other.

    It all happened quickly this time, during this unique Akand Paat. I was used to this, listening to the words and their lyrical interplay, very rhythmic, reaching deep inside many aspects of my being. Years earlier I had to stop taking notes while reading, as the insights are endless, and like most sacred prayer systems activate those insights we want to keep in the moment we realize them. Gotta let them go and carry on....They will be there when we finish. They always are.

    During those days the presence of those who committed suicide interrupted the Song in increasing frequency and numbers....Our feet were being touched during the days, and of course no one was there except the one reading and the other taking the time to replenish and relieve, sleeping or resting in the room next door. The singing room was comfortable, with a breeze coming thru this window of the upstairs space, not coincidentally every time I felt the need to cool off, as if the wind outside and inside were consciously responding.....in unison......


    It did not seem at all out of the way, only fitting, that we were reading in the room where one of the suicides took place. So many impressions come to mind and body while being disciplined and enjoying the effort to relieve the pain that few know can be removed. It is not at all hard to do, and if this is how we live, the words don't match the experience because it doesn't feel like an effort when it engages so much of what being a soul in a body is all about.

    In the late night of the 2nd day I began to hear conversations from what seemed like the room where my brother was resting, waiting for his turn to read. The talking got louder and there seemed to be more people joining in. It was a little irritating, but the presence of having to focus on reading kept me on course.

    We finished the reading the next day by 2 or 3 o'clock in the afternoon. As we closed the session, the unending prayers, the words still echoing all over, the meanings of the many insights and rhythms continuing...we had time to thank each other and share our own personal insights into the days we had just experienced.

    I asked my brother why he had friends over last night and why they were so loud.
    He knew immediately what had happened, but it took me a second to see the answer he had in his big smile................

    Those liberated ones had a little something to say that night, before moving on...
    I don't remember a word because they were all talking at once.
    I can't blame them.

    There are many better ways to go.
    Just don't count on someone else to pray for you if you choose to commit suicide. They most likely won't be there.
    Last edited by Hym; 25th April 2021 at 07:36.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    With a suicide rate of over a million a year now (something like four suicides a second) I'm sure there's a waiting list of trapped souls that would benefit from such a liberation. Sadly in Western culture the taboo in regards to suicide is so strong that I don't think survivors even consider that these souls can be freed up. I'd like to know more about the ragas used. I play one I made up after attending a sitar concert on my guitar at 432hz and it definitely clears the air.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Jaye B., that brings up some things I haven't thought about in a while.

    I'm writing about this one amazing song form because, like much of music itself, it has the unending capacity to heal, like some other systems do.

    In contrast, music and frequency can be used to destroy, to negatively influence, to obscure the truth. I remember someone, some years back assigning musical notes to gene structures. When the translation of the genetic code for pancreatic cancer was given to song, the song was Chopin's interlude called the Funeral March, which was a deliberate induction into depression.....instead of a celebratory, transitional song of the passing soul as in a wake......The Awakening to a new life that a soul is now encountering.

    Those Raags are in the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. Though it is primarily attributed to sikhs, the way all healing methods are incorrectly labeled, that is true.... but in essence it is not true, at all, for in it's stanzas, it's composition are those who were not sikhs at all, Kabir being one of the most insightful and challenging to the hypocrisy present in all unconscious ritual based numb-assery. It is a spiritual songbook not owned by any exterior denomination, or paths, those things so abused, altered and used contrary to their original intent. I think they are called religions. NOT.....

    In the case of this Songbook of the Soul, it cannot be altered. The words and the spaces between them, containing the rhythm, the code of the heart, have not changed since it was written, from memory, all 1430 pages, in 1708. I'd study their musical notations and listen to them being sung in order to get the essence of their composition and color...

    All Raags, those whose essence covers an infinite number of frequencies meant to Heal, including facing and removing all self-destructive tendencies, have a composition that resounds in the heart. They are made of meaning, the sound structure itself, and a particular rhythm. You'll hear it when it's done correctly, flowing without effort, as it feels good in listening to it, singing it or when powerfully whispering it.

    When I was listening to those recordings from different readers I could hear the difference, not only recognizing those who felt the rhythm and expressed it in their words and in their singing, but in great contrast, I recognized when it was done without the awareness of that pacing, and the subtleties within the words themselves. As a teacher of the language, and one who shares it openly, I recognize both the primacy of simplification and the recognition that all of the complexities come from within. This is the same with all music that touches us.

    This is just teaching and sharing. As such it is no comparison at all to the listening each person receives when they are the creator of the music. This is the meaning of Ek Ong Kar....
    Ek is One. Ong is the vibration of connectivity...the eternal now, unlike the unending awareness of nothingness, as interesting a contrast as it is, of Ommm. Kar is all of creation.

    Confining these songs to classical Indian musical instruments misses the evolving possibilities that are available today, just as confining the many layers of healing the troubled soul, the worn out body and the abused psyche to conventional, money making therapies is primitive. Your use of a guitar, acoustic or electric, opens up the pathways to deeper healing.

    These days we have synthesizers, overdubbing loops, and endless plug-ins that may more accurately express the healing. In listening to some instruments used in Indian music I have often asked if I could shoot just one harmonium player, and if not that, maybe run over just one harmonium and replace it with an electric piano, a guitar, a flute, those things closer to the human voice and not so damn cringey like the harmonium.

    In writing the above post I thought of writing a short summary of what happened, but coming upon these exams of these particular songs, I see and hear that it's up to me to be complete in sharing the background and practice, so I've saved the thoughts and will expand on them later on. Whatever way I can serve, send me a PM with your questions and I'll get on it....

    Showing westerners how to read the script only takes about 1/2 to 1 hour. I use a method of transliteration I developed, when asked by Indian Sikhs to teach that way, many years ago. Originally it was meant to be taught in simplicity, but I have not been surprised by anyone thinking it takes so long to speak and understand. I have had a fair number of american sikhs who had been classically trained and travelled to India, even a keeper of the Songbook of the Soul, ask me to privately teach them, which I have done.

    I had a famous numerologist, an american sikh, referred to me in order that he learn the language. Upon meeting me he suggested that we exchange our teachings in order to make it "a fair trade", something I don't ask for or need, as it is always rewarding. I earn my income in another way. Good for him, but he missed the opportunity and I missed learning with him, from the wealth of knowledge he had on vedic numerology. I'm cool with it, either way.

    When I told him that once I showed him how, with just one page of transliterated script and a few points about rhythm, etc., I could teach him in one hour, he said "You mean you're not going to string me out for 10 or 12 lessons?" like he obviously did, but I don't do that. I said it doesn't look like we're going to do this....and we parted.
    Last edited by Hym; 25th April 2021 at 18:26.

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Suicide is a very sad thing and it's not something I would judge, but it is not only alarming - it is quite horrible to see how many decide to end themselves. Free will certainly allows that, but unfortunately the karmic consequences of that are significant. The suffering it creates for other people too will shape the course of their lives forever and certain karmic or soul connections will not happen so they have to be reshaped. This is an interesting question though when it comes to free will an destiny and mostly everything is destined, but suicide is never meant to be. Yet it happens. The deceased person themself will not have only reseted their current progress for the most part, but also now they have to do it all over again another time.

    I don't have exact knowledge about what happens to those souls, but from what I've understood many of them can become stuck or earthbound as it has not been their time and their spirit guides have not been prepared to take them to the spirit world. They need to go into the light or guided there by beings who know how to show the way.

    Quote Suicide epidemic relates to spiritual vacuum

    Any given suicide might involve more than a single factor, but the overall problem will become more manageable through a deeper cultivation of connectedness and caring for each other. Rates of depression are rising globally, and instead of sweeping the stigma of mental illness under the rug, we would benefit from more open and candid sharing of our feelings and concerns with one another. Acts of kindness and caring, learning how to listen to others’ sharing of their feelings and problems, raising an alarm when we are concerned about others, and keeping those identified as possibly at risk safer by removing easy access to lethal means, such as guns and potentially deadly medications and drugs – all of these can contribute to an alleviation of this depressing epidemic of suicide.

    Suicide is invariably a complex issue, with any one case presenting significant challenges. In my role sharing my NDE and its implications for humanity, I frequently address questions about suicide, and we may find a natural remedy from within the NDE community. Our good friend and colleague, Dr. Raymond Moody, has reported that one of the few categorically true observations to be made about suicide is that, if one attempts suicide and experiences any of the features of an NDE (encountering brilliant light and an overwhelming sense of a divine force of love in the universe, meeting souls of departed loved ones, etc.), then he or she will never attempt suicide again.

    The commonly encountered pattern is that those who fail in suicide attempts are generally doomed to repeat their attempts. So this powerful effect of NDE elements preventing future suicide attempts is remarkable, indeed. NDE reports from observation across the veil also suggest that, during the life review, those who succeed at suicide likely witness a profound sense of love that others and the universe at large have for them, and gain comfort from that revelation, but they also realize the deep pain that many felt in their loss.

    In short, suicide is never the right answer. The more we can nurture a sense of connectedness and purpose in our lives (of “spirituality”), the less likely people will be tempted to “end it all.” The other fact of this discussion is that suicide will never work as an escape from worldly problems, especially as one comes to realize that modern consciousness studies imply the reality not only of the afterlife, but of reincarnation. That particular dodge (of suicide) doesn’t solve the soul’s challenges and necessity of facing the issues at hand – if ignored or avoided, they will only be repackaged in a different form for one’s next incarnation. The world of transpersonal psychology is filled with such stories of soul challenges arranged over multiple lifetimes – all with the purpose of growth and learning.
    Last edited by Wind; 25th April 2021 at 19:03.
    "When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there." ~ George Harrison

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    Default Re: On Suicide

    Quote Posted by Gwin Ru (here)
    One of the main stealth reason behind spiraling depression and the targeting of individuals (+ what's behind all the silly measures associated with Covid-19):

    Demons - The Presence of Other Worlds 2:39:50

    Streamed live on May 6, 2020

    Windows On The World

    Mark Windows with Jerry Marzinsky and Sherry Swiney following up on our recent show, Are Demons Real?

    Jerry Marzinsky: http://www.jerrymarzinsky.com
    http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/JerryMa...

    Sherry Swiney http://www.keyholejourney.com/about-s...
    https://keyholejourney.wordpress.com/...
    This guy's right on special when he mentioned reading Psalm 23 and the demons not liking it. I'm guessing psychiatrist that reflexively prescribe antidepressant antipsychotic meds are most likely demon possessed and work with the demons that are possessing their patients in tag team fashion.

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