+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 20 of 20

Thread: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

  1. Link to Post #1
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    To start, I am the grandson of a NAZI P.O.W. A bellygunner, on a B-17 shot down early in the U.S. involvement. The Germans had him for 3 years. He escaped and fought with the french underground for awhile. Upon his return to the states, he was put through OCS, and later went to Korea during that war. When he retired, he moved his family from Texas, to Palo Alto California. His oldest Daughter married a Drummer for a band that had 2 drummers, and toured extensively, And the Lead guitarist Like Cherry Garcia Ice cream(lol). Nextdoor the the house the band lived in was a C_A op, called midnight climax, part of the MK Ultra program. That Aunt would later go to work at Fairchild Elec. and Marry a future Fairchild Executive.(Clown Tie) My mother would be the younger sister, also exposed to this 60's music scene. My grandfather later got a Government Job in washington state, and Moved his family again, at the same time, My father' family moved to the same area, from Iowa. My fathers family is connected to the Founding Fathers. George Washington is my 2nd cousin obviously several times removed, ect.


    I saw my first UFO when I was 12. We were driving on Broadway in Everett Wa. on a part that is high on a hill overlooking the Snohomish river valley. It was '82. The Ufo paced us as we drove. My mom yelled at me not to look at it.

    That same year I had a vision or a dream, a face I couldn't see told me I was the sword of God. Which I pretty much forgot about till i was in my 20's. (I'm wondering if my clock works orange)IDK. I was born 40 weeks after man walked on the moon if he did......

    Also that year, My uncle who is a Russell, and Graduated from Annapolis and worked for the government after he got out in various capacities, entered my life.

    2nd one was as an Adult same general area. I was 38 and on my way home from my territory sales job. I lived in Lake Stevens which is on the other side of the valley from Everett, but within 5 miles of my first sighting. It paced me until I turned down my street, then It hung in my sight as if to say, Hi! and then grew into a much larger ball of light and vanished. pretty trippy.

    I enlisted in the Army when I was 17, and went to boot camp right out of highschool.
    While in Boot camp, I got really sick. !03 temp. I was admitted to the hospital, and was unconscious for 3 days. I don't remember anything.I missed some immunizations, and never had to get them. I'm one of the only people I know that is prior service without a scar on my shoulder from the big nasty shot they give you. Nobody else from my unit got sick. I was the only soldier in my hospital room, 6 beds only me.

    I'm O-, Celtic R1b1a2a, and T-2 MtDna. I have a very small amount of Nansemond Native blood through My 11th great grandfather Peter "the great nansemond warrior chief" Tucker. I have some really odd memories, and have had some lucid dreams of a high level Dinner party where the Clinton's were present.

    In my family tree you would find, Kennedy's, Collins, Bundy, and about 10 other names frequently associated.

    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

    Thank you in advance
    Last edited by Josh88; 4th May 2021 at 01:56.

  2. The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Alecs (6th May 2021), Bill Ryan (3rd May 2021), Bluegreen (3rd May 2021), ExomatrixTV (3rd May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Gracy May (3rd May 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Inversion (3rd May 2021), Jaye B. (4th May 2021), Journeyman (4th May 2021), Karen (Geophyz) (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), NancyV (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), Sue (Ayt) (4th May 2021), Sunny-side-up (4th May 2021), TomKat (3rd May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  3. Link to Post #2
    United States Avalon Member Bluegreen's Avatar
    Join Date
    18th July 2014
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    6,605
    Thanks
    37,626
    Thanked 33,080 times in 5,923 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Yes this sounds very familiar. Dave McGowan's Weird Scenes Inside the Goldmine: The Strange But Mostly True Story of Laurel Canyon, available on this website, covers some of what you are talking about.

    Avalon member TrumanCash recommends memory recovery without hypnosis, and there are a couple of books at the bottom of his posts. You might go through one of those and see if there is anything there for you. If so, you may want to take him up on a very generous offer. There is more information here:

    https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1312158

  4. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Bluegreen For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Inversion (3rd May 2021), Josh88 (3rd May 2021), Journeyman (4th May 2021), Karen (Geophyz) (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (17th June 2021)

  5. Link to Post #3
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    thank you. I'm trying to make sense out of what goes on in my head. I went into the Army, kind of normal guy. I wasn't that great of an athlete in school. But after basic training I turned into a different person. over the years as an adult. My personality has cycled through several different types of people, But as I've gotten into my fifties I feel like there's a battle for control of my life.

    And If it's true that they target certain groups, and track the bloodlines. Would they even miss me?

    My house get's circled by Blackhawks, a few times a month. I always wave
    I sleep with cold steel under my bed, and 5 feet away is Mr. Boomstick.
    Ive been on Burner phones for 5 years, and regularly switch numbers, and change e-mail addresses. But I'm tired and getting old. I'm a 9 out of 10 on the ACES assessment, which qualifies as CPTSD.
    Last edited by Josh88; 3rd May 2021 at 22:57.

  6. The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Bluegreen (3rd May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Inversion (3rd May 2021), Journeyman (4th May 2021), Karen (Geophyz) (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), NancyV (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), TomKat (21st May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  7. Link to Post #4
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Is this standard life style for the mentally hacked?

  8. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Inversion (3rd May 2021), Jaye B. (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  9. Link to Post #5
    United States Avalon Member Inversion's Avatar
    Join Date
    19th March 2016
    Posts
    274
    Thanks
    6,457
    Thanked 1,259 times in 256 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)

    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

    Thank you in advance
    Tony Rodriquez claims his memories of a twenty & back program resurfaced after he had a MRI. Johan Fritz also makes that claim.

    Tony & Johan: Link

    20 & Back explained: Some report they're taken at about age seventeen, serve twenty years in a space program, aged regressed back to the time they were taken then time shifted back to the point of origin. From what I've heard the person may only be gone fifteen minutes.
    Last edited by Inversion; 3rd May 2021 at 23:36.

  10. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Inversion For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Journeyman (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  11. Link to Post #6
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Inversion (here)
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)

    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

    Thank you in advance
    Tony Rodriquez claims his memories of a twenty & back program resurfaced after he had a MRI. Johan Fritz also makes that claim.

    Tony & Johan: Link

    20 & Back explained: Some report they're taken at about age seventeen, serve twenty years in a space program, aged regressed back to the time they were taken then time shifted back to the point of origin.
    so Like 3 days in the hospital at basic?

  12. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Inversion (3rd May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  13. Link to Post #7
    United States Avalon Member Inversion's Avatar
    Join Date
    19th March 2016
    Posts
    274
    Thanks
    6,457
    Thanked 1,259 times in 256 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    Quote Posted by Inversion (here)
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)

    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.

    Thank you in advance
    Tony Rodriquez claims his memories of a twenty & back program resurfaced after he had a MRI. Johan Fritz also makes that claim.

    Tony & Johan: Link

    20 & Back explained: Some report they're taken at about age seventeen, serve twenty years in a space program, aged regressed back to the time they were taken then time shifted back to the point of origin.
    so Like 3 days in the hospital at basic?
    That's possible. You also might want to take a look at Donald Marshall who claims people are pulled out of their bodies at night and put into clones of themselves. A super soldier named Alara Blackwell claims they avatared her into a soldier who was on an infiltration mission.
    Last edited by Inversion; 4th May 2021 at 00:06.

  14. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Inversion For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (4th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  15. Link to Post #8
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.

  16. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  17. Link to Post #9
    United States Avalon Member Inversion's Avatar
    Join Date
    19th March 2016
    Posts
    274
    Thanks
    6,457
    Thanked 1,259 times in 256 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.
    The Gray abductee Jim Sparks described something similar to that in his book The Keepers. He was sitting in his living room and a vortex opened up and was pulling his physical body. He wrote that he felt a pulling sensation in his gut.

  18. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Inversion For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  19. Link to Post #10
    United States Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    2nd April 2021
    Location
    Death Valley
    Language
    English
    Posts
    64
    Thanks
    143
    Thanked 704 times in 61 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    It might help to keep visual journals, sketches of your dreams and other experiences. It will help in developing the detached observer, i.e., the experience of looking at all that is happening, standing outside of yourself and not being effected by it. A guy I know deep into milabs does this and it seems to help him stay grounded.

  20. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Jaye B. For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Icare (5th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  21. Link to Post #11
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.

  22. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), pabranno (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  23. Link to Post #12
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?

  24. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  25. Link to Post #13
    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    7th February 2010
    Location
    Ecuador
    Posts
    26,996
    Thanks
    120,216
    Thanked 346,132 times in 25,478 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.
    Yes. Contact Avalon member James Newell (known to everyone as Jim) — either by Personal Message (PM), or through his website at https://getmoreable.com (maybe better, as he's not always online here). Jim can help you recover all your memories both from this life and from previous ones.
    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 4th May 2021 at 15:17.

  26. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Bill Ryan For This Post:

    ExomatrixTV (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021), Yoda (4th May 2021)

  27. Link to Post #14
    Netherlands Avalon Member ExomatrixTV's Avatar
    Join Date
    23rd September 2011
    Location
    Netherlands
    Language
    Dutch
    Age
    55
    Posts
    7,810
    Thanks
    7,088
    Thanked 39,989 times in 6,913 posts

    Question Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.
    Yes. Contact Avalon member James Newell (known to everyone as Jim) — either by Personal Message (PM), or through his website at https://getmoreable.com (maybe better, as he's not always online here). Jim can help you recover all your memories both from this life and from previous ones.
    I got a warning about getmoreable(dot)com not being safe according to FireFox Browser ... then I decided to go further anyway and saw only that they know my IP address ... nothing more ... weird.

    cheers,
    John
    ~no need to follow anyone, only consider to broaden (y)our horizon of possibilities
    ~Stop5G.net & FB groups/Stop5G

  28. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to ExomatrixTV For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), happyuk (4th May 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Jambo (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), toppy (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  29. Link to Post #15
    United States Avalon Member Mark/Rahkyt's Avatar
    Join Date
    11th June 2011
    Location
    San Marcos, Texas
    Age
    53
    Posts
    2,829
    Thanks
    17,317
    Thanked 22,655 times in 2,692 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.
    You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat? I did, on military bases around the world. This is the opening/pathway to bringing on an OOBE. Read Robert Monroe's book, "Journeys Out of the Body" to find out how to harness that ability. It's not hard if you are already getting the vibrations regularly. That's the hardest part to bring about just by trying to. But once you do, the multiverse is the limit.

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.
    This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?
    That's what they are and yes.

  30. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Mark/Rahkyt For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Josh88 (4th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), TomKat (21st May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  31. Link to Post #16
    United States Avalon Member
    Join Date
    24th August 2018
    Age
    74
    Posts
    222
    Thanks
    26,717
    Thanked 1,989 times in 219 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by ExomatrixTV (here)
    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    If there is anyone that knows more about memory recovery, and whether or not this sounds familiar. I would greatly appreciate any information.
    Yes. Contact Avalon member James Newell (known to everyone as Jim) — either by Personal Message (PM), or through his website at https://getmoreable.com (maybe better, as he's not always online here). Jim can help you recover all your memories both from this life and from previous ones.
    I got a warning about getmoreable(dot)com not being safe according to FireFox Browser ... then I decided to go further anyway and saw only that they know my IP address ... nothing more ... weird.

    cheers,
    John
    I got the same message you got, John.

  32. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Sadieblue For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), ExomatrixTV (4th May 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  33. Link to Post #17
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Mark/Rahkyt (here)
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I had a night where I was meditating to a binaural beat, learning to lucid dream. and I started shaking violently and felt a pull up and I came out of my meditative state and it stopped, but I felt like something was pulling me out of my body.
    You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat? I did, on military bases around the world. This is the opening/pathway to bringing on an OOBE. Read Robert Monroe's book, "Journeys Out of the Body" to find out how to harness that ability. It's not hard if you are already getting the vibrations regularly. That's the hardest part to bring about just by trying to. But once you do, the multiverse is the limit.

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.
    This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.

    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    So I guess i'm wondering if anyone else get's flashes of light at night and what feels like a download of information?
    That's what they are and yes.
    I didn't grow up on a base but moved a lot as a kid. My Dad was absent a lot, but I think he was an asset. Gen 3 , amphetamine driven.
    My mother was a Military brat, and as I said think My grandfather was probably, O.S.S., and or a Clown. as well as my uncle who went to Annapolis, and held a GS 15 job after the service, in the Bay Area.

    I had been groomed to join the Marine Corp. as a kid, but fell victim to a Army recruiter my Junior year. I entered as a aircraft mechanic, but applied for 18D twice while I was CONUS, and Applied for Ranger school/Jump School/Air Assault/ect.
    To say I was Gung Ho would be a severe understatement.

  34. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Inversion (4th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (5th May 2021), Sadieblue (4th May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  35. Link to Post #18
    United States Avalon Member Josh88's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st May 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    51
    Posts
    38
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked 206 times in 35 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    I'm having some real breakthroughs. And Have an appointment with someone who specializes in this area. Thanks to all for your support and help, this has been hell on earth for along time and I see the Light at the end of the tunnel.

  36. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Josh88 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Grey Brain (21st May 2021), Harmony (6th May 2021), Jaye B. (6th May 2021), Mark/Rahkyt (5th May 2021), Sadieblue (6th May 2021), sunflower (5th May 2021), TomKat (21st May 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  37. Link to Post #19
    United States Avalon Member Grey Brain's Avatar
    Join Date
    15th November 2020
    Location
    Here
    Language
    English
    Posts
    49
    Thanks
    129
    Thanked 244 times in 41 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Hope all is going well. It sounds like you are already into this. I have a couple bits of advice... You've probably already thought of them, but i wouldn't feel right if I didn't suggest them.

    Regardless if you are using 'soft' or 'hard' memory recall techniques, a dam could break at any time = flood. Try to make sure you have a stable base with backup resources and can take a week or two off from day to day work/life as some upheavals can be extremely destabilizing. Not about if you're tough enough... It just might change your frame of mind, and set you off in various ways emotionally and/or idealistically, so it's important to plan for if you need to take sudden time off. For this most need cash.

    Related to upheaval and rapid changes to your frame of mind is a word of caution. I don't like to trust anyone, so I don't want to say have a friend to run new ideas by before you implement them, but what I would strongly recommend is to not make any major decisions without 24, 48, or 72 hours passing by. Upheaval can lead to very reckless behavior even if the intention was otherwise... I've seen this with random/garden variety upheaval, but also programmed responses to upheaval ~ CSRS conditioned stimulii response sequence, Wernicke's commands, etc. I've seen many make harsh decisions during times of upheaval that were to their detriment.

    Just keep in mind - no matter what you remember, and how it makes you feel, - if it makes you feel angry, or paranoid, or even scared, like you need to do something urgently - the only thing about your situation that has changed is the fact that you are consciously recalling. That can sometimes help people stay grounded... just keeping in mind that the only thing about your situation that has changed is the conscious recall... So no matter how it feels, you didn't 'just enter a situation' so even if you start to feel like the situation you are dealing with merits urgent action, take some deep breaths and at least sleep on it, or properly prepare.

    Not trying to put any of that on you, might be no problem for you, but from my experience I feel obligated to say this. I've just seen many things happen during memory work... From lives completely derailing, to just overall quality of life going down, so please make sure you take care.

    With taking care of yourself during memory work, my last bit of advice for now - have a healthy physical outlet in place (punching bag, gym membership, pool pass), and a healthy creative/expressive outlet in place (supplies for artwork, even music, etc) - and use them. Even if you don't really feel like it (I mean take time off sometimes), it will usually make you feel better and help keep you balanced, healthy, and also aid in the work. I recommend taking notes as well, although that type of thing many have strong urges against.

  38. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Grey Brain For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Harmony (18th June 2021), Victoria (18th June 2021)

  39. Link to Post #20
    United States Moderator Victoria's Avatar
    Join Date
    17th August 2019
    Age
    43
    Posts
    189
    Thanks
    9,126
    Thanked 1,685 times in 188 posts

    Default Re: Looking for some help (Milab-related)

    Quote Posted by Mark/Rahkyt (here)
    You've had sleep paralysis since you were a kid, haven't you. Did you grow up a Brat?
    Quote Posted by Josh88 (here)
    I'm not even sure I want to remember. I got tested when I was a kid a lot. My mom took me to a place where I had to try and guess the shape behind a partition. I don't remember if I did well. and another time she took me and they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, I think I either watched something or listened to something. Not sure what that would be for. I remember a few I.Q. tests as well with school district Psychologists. I was a very poor student, but very well mannered.
    Quote Posted by Mark/Rahkyt (here)
    This is what made me ask if you were a brat. They give you tests and strange contraptions that they take away after a while. I remember at Tinker AFB in Oklahoma being taken into a wood-paneled room and an old dude asking me a battery of questions. I have the feeling that I was in that office a lot. It can be weird to try to contextualize all of this now, later in life, but this is when all of the memories seem to return of their own volition.
    Josh, I hope you are doing well and that you have the support you need while uncovering your past. Thank you for posting about your experiences. It will help a lot of people who have experienced similarly.

    You & Mark have answered one of my most enduring questions...all these years, I wondered what on earth those intelligence tests were that none of my other friends in various states or schools or countries had ever done. The memories came rushing back to me when I saw this image online several years ago, because it is exactly as I remember. I printed it out 20 or so times to share with family and friends and nobody recalled anything similar. Yes, it's a C. Goode image...but the aspect it shows is 100% real...whatever it represents...that's real.
    Click image for larger version

Name:	remember.jpg
Views:	5
Size:	229.1 KB
ID:	46845

    It's easy to feel kind of futile and confused when no one else remembers experiencing the same and there is nobody to bounce the memories off of.

    I knew the tests had happened, because my mother still clearly remembers driving long distances to deliver me to them, how we were treated and that it was only required of me, not for any of my other siblings. We never could discern why, if it was just for school, the tests were were administered by military personnel, despite me no longer attending KAFB. We never lived on the base, I just went to school there. Things that don't make sense years later...but by then, it's too late to ask.

    Batteries of tests, behind felted panel partitions in small cubicles given by doctors and military personnel. Extremely strict and freezing cold environments. We drove across state and out of state for the tests, over and over, like it was an honor to be invited and of utmost importance. All this time, I thought it was linked to Gifted and TAG programs, but nobody else in those classes who I asked had been through the same. Their tests were given at school or local educational facilities.

    I said "no" during one of the rounds which included timed puzzles, and just like you mention Josh, guessing which symbol card was behind the panel for the gazillionth episode. We had been at it for many hours and I started to feel trapped, so I refused to do the tests further and flat out defied the uniformed man in charge. He became animatedly angry at me, reprimanded my mother who he called in, and demanded her to make me comply. Not good. That made me defensive of her and her defensive of me.

    Alarmed by his tone and that there was suddenly not a choice in the matter, she took me home against strong vocal and nearly physical objection. Thankfully, she remained adamant and we left for the last time.

    When I returned to school, despite not finishing the tests, I was bumped up into classes with children from 1 to 4 grades above me in a group that competed in state and national competitions. Being already young for my own grade level, because my parents started me early, it was a miserable time and I just wanted to go back to something familiar.

    At some point during this period, I started having unusual experiences hearing what I thought were angels singing above my bed at night, thinking I had weird magical powers, extreme instances of precognition...and our family began getting unusual attention.

    It could have been sheer coincidence, but it all happened at the same time. A car that was waiting, parked around the corner from our house, tried to run me over as I was riding my bike, driving up into a neighbor's yard across the lawn to do so. I saw it before it happened and knew the two men were there before they had ever turned on the vehicle or peeled out toward me as I passed. Even though I was somehow warned beforehand, I wasn't exactly sure what to do to avoid it, but was able to escape safely, getting the license plate, their descriptions and filed a report afterward.

    My mother took me out with friends for my 5th birthday around that same time and when we left the movie theater, I noticed wires hanging down under the vehicle and something dripping. Everything had been disconnected while we were inside, which I tried to point out before we climbed in, but my mother was delightfully oblivious. We didn't get very far before her suburban overheated and caught on fire. I remember thinking I had to rescue my little sister in her car seat and jumped out the back window as the vehicle was still moving, beating feet down the pavement as fast as I could carry her in case it exploded. We were also followed in frightening situations several times after that and whenever I was with my father, he would carry a gun on the dashboard.

    Then, same timespan, was a strange experience of what I thought was a large moon outside of my window, and I awoke with broken capillaries, shins that bent like spaghetti and bruising all over my extremities, unable to stand. My parents rushed me to the hospital where doctors were at a total loss, and resorted to calling police in what they thought might be an abuse case. The staff tried to take me away from my parents, but my father wouldn't have it.

    He had enough, I guess, after sending me to live with other family members and taking me out of school. We finally moved to another state and the craziness mostly stopped except for weird episodes of missing time and unusual weather phenomena that kind of followed me.

    I never had any military childhood friends to ask in the years after that, because even though my father was Army, we traveled with the Foreign Service and never returned to any bases except for medical treatment. We always resorted to the navy hospitals for medical. Also, I guess I never really questioned any of it as unusual until attending university.

    To see you writing about this, it's reassuring and I am interested to know what you learn as you go forward if you're willing to share... you both have obviously experienced the same...maybe it really is something unique to being military brats. Thank you so much for posting about it.
    Last edited by Victoria; 20th June 2021 at 03:27.

  40. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Victoria For This Post:

    Anka (18th June 2021), Bill Ryan (18th June 2021), Forest Denizen (19th June 2021), Gwin Ru (18th June 2021), Harmony (18th June 2021), Johan (Keyholder) (18th June 2021), Journeyman (18th June 2021)

+ Reply to Thread

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts