We are the Guardians and we are many

[Denise/Dizi]

Posted by Tracie (Bodhicee) (here)

Posted by Brigantia (here)

Posted by Denise/Dizi (here)
I hope you do not mind I ask, but why do you need to pay the debt of your husband and father in law? I can understand taking good care of your own mother, and wanting to enjoy life, especially if you are living in a community such as you are, that allows for such freedoms after contributing your share to the whole, but why are you owing in any way, on someone else's obligations? Are they helping you to help them?

In America when you marry, you also assume equally the partners debts, unless otherwise disclosed and legally kept apart in the marriage. But this is more than just the husbands debts, it is generational. What am I missing, and why would you tie yourself to their obligations if they're keeping you from living the life you truly wish for?

I get what you're saying Denise, but that is from an American perspective.

I know of many cultures, even in some parts of Europe, where the broader family are far more closely-knit and mutually dependent, and a married couple are never an island.

No man is an island, so to speak. And in helping each other something far greater occurs, a synergy. Jordan Peterson speaks to this beautifully... about considering the effect of one's actions for 7 generations .. It's about assuming a broader responsibility, and the seeming responsibility of that actually gives meaning to life. He speaks to this so beautifully. It's all part of a bigger symphony of the recurring MOTIF of caring... So Xidaijena... thank you too.

I think I may have been a bit misunderstood in my questions. I asked because the original post first listed what xidaijena stated that she wanted to do with her life, and then she posted what she felt were her "Sacrifices", given that was the part of the post that she highlighted and replied to...

I am American, but I assure you, not all Americans see life as something that is just about "themselves". I have been helping my husband and his parents off and on for those 30 years in their business. More recently working there full time to keep the doors open, so we all have an income to live upon.. I do not need to work, my home is paid off... But I do not see this as a sacrifice or obligation at all, but more something you do within a family... I married my husband and with that, in many ways his family as well. I became a part of their family.. and within a community.. I do not see this as a sacrifice at all. I believe that this is how life should be.. Family helping family, people helping their neighbors and friends... And my children were raised in this environment as well.

I have spent well over a thousand dollars I was saving for something else, in the last 2 weeks caring for my neighbors. Taking them medical supplies and groceries... Going to their homes and making sure they were not so sick they needed to go to the hospital, as CoVid is running rampant in my area. I did not see this as a sacrifice either, as my community is important to me. That is what you do for those you care about. And I wanted them to be well. I was exhausted, my husband was in the Intensive Care unit at the hospital himself, and I ran myself into the ground trying to help them, because I was the one who was still able to help.. And I would have done more had I been asked...Or seen a need.

It was the way in which xidaijena wrote that she "has to" pay the debt of her husband and father in law, that made me question why she felt she had to? I do not see my helping others as something I MUST do, aside from in principle. I suppose I am the one who determines that I MUST do these things, because it is the right thing to do, as it builds community and family, and keeps them strong, kind, and loving towards one another, and I know that when I get to the point when I may need some help, that my family and friends will be there to help me as well... In that way I do not see it as a sacrifice but rather me doing my part in being a part of that family and community. Much like you expressed after my first post.

We are not all that different.. And I now understand it was the way language was used that I misunderstood. I wish all communities treated their neighbors, friends, and family in the same way.. Sadly that is not always the case.

[xidaijena]

Hi dear all, sorry to reply you late. I didn't see all your questions until now.
To me, I do have the responsibilties to take good care of my mother.
I do also have the responsiblities to take care of my husband and my father -in- law. Because, I married with my husband though we didn't get marriage certificate .my mother cheated my husband for my mental problems. I am a member of Lifechanyuan and I do believe in the Greatest Creator which is including Jesus and Buddha's belief. But not every one can accept this. Except chanyuan celestials (members) can truly understand me.

Because of my mental problems, I don't want to have baby and my dream is to take good care of my mother until she leaves this world and then I will devote myself to Lifechanyuan ( maybe I will go to one branch of New Oasis for Life Communities).

So, for my husband, I will feel very sorry to him and will pray to the Greatest Creator that he will go to Lifechanyuan with me or will find another nice woman to marry.
My father left several years ago, and my father-in-law is kind to me. I treat him as my kin father. So I want to try my best to treat him nice.

I pay attention to the world news every day. And I saw many calamities happened in some countries. I feel so sad about it. I hope Mother Earth can be peaceful and always full of sunshine. I hope all the people on Mother Earthe can be united as one family. I hope all the people around the world can treat each other as brothers and sisters with color blind.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ieg8gniUsZI

[Eagle Eye]

[33 : 23] Among the believers are men who are true to their covenant with God . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow, and among them is he who awaits. And they did not alter in the least.

This verse is for those who have commited themselves to a cause greater then their life.