+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Finding Courage within yourself.

  1. Link to Post #1
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Finding Courage within yourself.

    I always thought of courage as something that you either had or didn't have. I have had some moments in my life where I exhibited courage and many more where I did not follow my convictions but "just went along to get along". There was a time I would have labeled that as being nice or cooperative. In some instances that was true and in many instances it was cowardice or cognitive dissonance.

    I can honestly say that never once in my life has someone sat down and talked to me about how I might be able to use courageousness in my life. The closest thing I ever got was a comment from my dad. "Pam, why don't you stand up for yourself". No further discussion that was it.

    So, synchronicity offered me this video and I have watched it twice. What I have come to realize and really it is quite a revelation to me is that I can learn to become courageous. There is a process and there are methods.

    Courage is strongly discouraged in our culture. Think about that. Being honorable and being courageous are not conducive to to the inversion we are living in. Being fearful, weak and relying on authorities, even if they are clearly inept, liars and insane is encouraged and mandated.

    I am going to throw this video out as a first for those who want to contemplate learning the skill and I welcome those that have mastered courage on a fairly consistent basis to share.


  2. The Following 41 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Ankle Biter (15th September 2021), Ben (16th September 2021), Bill Ryan (15th September 2021), Bluegreen (16th September 2021), Brigantia (15th September 2021), Dreamer148 (18th September 2021), Ewan (15th September 2021), ExomatrixTV (15th September 2021), Franny (15th September 2021), George (15th September 2021), GMB1961 (15th September 2021), Gracy (15th September 2021), Harmony (15th September 2021), haroldsails (16th September 2021), Heart to heart (15th September 2021), Ioneo (15th September 2021), Journeyman (15th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), liderr (15th September 2021), Mark (Star Mariner) (16th September 2021), Mike (16th September 2021), O Donna (15th September 2021), Peace in Oz (16th September 2021), pueblo (15th September 2021), rgray222 (17th September 2021), Rhogar (15th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), Sadieblue (15th September 2021), Satori (15th September 2021), Savannah (15th September 2021), selinam (15th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (15th September 2021), toppy (16th September 2021), Tyy1907 (15th September 2021), Victoria (15th September 2021), Vicus (15th September 2021), wegge (15th September 2021), Wind (15th September 2021), wondering (15th September 2021), xidaijena (16th September 2021)

  3. Link to Post #2
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    As the video points out it is how we deal with our thoughts that determine what and where our lives will lead us. Mal adaptive thinking are thoughts and emotions that seem to prevent us from taking action. Generally those thoughts are fear based at some level and are not easily managed.

    Being empathic and feeling emotions very strongly and having no idea how to deal with them led me to coming up with coping mechanisms at an early age. Eating disorders and addiction worked quite well for some time. They are all consuming distractions. I didn't see any other choice. As the video points out. Maladaptive, fear based thoughts don't respond well to reasoning and can only be suppressed if you can and are willing to pay the price. Even if you stay willing to pay, sometimes it just quits working. In my case there were/still are "I shoulds". I should be beyond fearing this, I should be beyond hating that ect. So reasoning my way out of the thoughts just didn't work.

    I came upon the Sedona Method. It helped me greatly. It provided a technique to experience and choose to release thought and trauma that weren't serving me any more. I would use the technique to make myself functional. I released just enough to go to work, take care of my kids ect.

    You might be wondering where I am going with this. The basis of courage is being able to navigate malaptive thinking and take action that is in line with our values anyway.

    I love the fact that a suggestion in the video is a simple one that reflects the Lester Levenson, Sedona method technique although they are slightly different. When having a maladaptive thought one simply labels it and experiences it. The act of labeling it, reduces it's charge. There are so many times I have taken action on these malaptive thoughts and did not have a good outcome. In fact, it is a vicious cycle like chasing your own tail. The easier, softer way would have been to experience the thought/emotion and label it. "I am feeling angry" and move on.

    How does this lead to building courage? Challenging those maladaptive thoughts when they go against what you really want to do. Taking tiny steps to challenge ourselves. It seems becoming courageous is like building muscle mass. It takes practice.

    I am aware that there are those that probably don't need this in the least. In some ways I am lucky to have been so messed up. It forces a degree of teachablility I doubt I would have otherwise.

  4. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Ankle Biter (15th September 2021), Bill Ryan (15th September 2021), Ewan (15th September 2021), Franny (15th September 2021), haroldsails (16th September 2021), Ioneo (15th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), O Donna (15th September 2021), Peace in Oz (16th September 2021), pueblo (16th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), selinam (15th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (15th September 2021), toppy (16th September 2021), Tyy1907 (15th September 2021), Victoria (15th September 2021), Wind (15th September 2021), wondering (15th September 2021)

  5. Link to Post #3
    Australia Avalon Member Tigger's Avatar
    Join Date
    23rd August 2010
    Location
    Atherton, QLD Australia
    Language
    English
    Posts
    422
    Thanks
    6,091
    Thanked 2,622 times in 345 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by Pam (here)
    I always thought of courage as something that you either had or didn't have. I have had some moments in my life where I exhibited courage and many more where I did not follow my convictions but "just went along to get along". There was a time I would have labeled that as being nice or cooperative. In some instances that was true and in many instances it was cowardice or cognitive dissonance.

    I can honestly say that never once in my life has someone sat down and talked to me about how I might be able to use courageousness in my life. The closest thing I ever got was a comment from my dad. "Pam, why don't you stand up for yourself". No further discussion that was it.

    So, synchronicity offered me this video and I have watched it twice. What I have come to realize and really it is quite a revelation to me is that I can learn to become courageous. There is a process and there are methods.

    Courage is strongly discouraged in our culture. Think about that. Being honorable and being courageous are not conducive to to the inversion we are living in. Being fearful, weak and relying on authorities, even if they are clearly inept, liars and insane is encouraged and mandated.

    I am going to throw this video out as a first for those who want to contemplate learning the skill and I welcome those that have mastered courage on a fairly consistent basis to share.

    Timely, useful, and necessary for many (IMO). Thank you, Pam.

  6. The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to Tigger For This Post:

    Ankle Biter (15th September 2021), Bill Ryan (15th September 2021), Ewan (15th September 2021), Franny (15th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), Pam (15th September 2021), Peace in Oz (16th September 2021), pueblo (16th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), selinam (15th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), toppy (16th September 2021), Victoria (15th September 2021), wegge (15th September 2021), Wind (15th September 2021), xidaijena (16th September 2021)

  7. Link to Post #4
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    As I discussed in my last post, maladaptive thinking can manifest in the physical body. In the two examples I gave I decidedly created the physical illnesses of addiction and anorexia as suppression and diversion. Both involve huge amounts of ritual and mental obsession. The benefit of creating dis-ease on the physical realm is simple really. It allows the focus to now be placed on the maladies rather than learning to experience maladaptive thinking, identify the emotion and to transcend those thoughts and emotions towards becoming our courageous, best self. Our sovereign self.

    Once again Academy of ideas has some wonderful information about how the physical self is involved as either a deterrent or a attribute on our road to becoming the courageous sovereign beings we were all meant to be.

    By the way, my doing this thread is a small step towards becoming courageous and sovereign as I am usually very intimidated by this kind of thing. Practice , practice, practice. As a nurse I always said "if you do anything often enough you'll get used to it.

  8. The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (15th September 2021), Ewan (15th September 2021), Franny (15th September 2021), gs_powered (15th September 2021), Harmony (15th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), O Donna (15th September 2021), Peace in Oz (16th September 2021), pueblo (16th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), selinam (15th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), toppy (16th September 2021), Tyy1907 (15th September 2021), Victoria (15th September 2021), Vicus (15th September 2021), Wind (15th September 2021)

  9. Link to Post #5
    Finland Avalon Member Wind's Avatar
    Join Date
    25th September 2011
    Location
    A dream called Life
    Age
    33
    Posts
    7,888
    Thanks
    88,306
    Thanked 48,964 times in 7,673 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    I've loved this channel for years. It's a hidden gem, especially for those who are interested in philosophy and psychology too.
    "When you've seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there." ~ George Harrison

  10. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Wind For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (15th September 2021), Ewan (16th September 2021), Franny (15th September 2021), Harmony (16th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), O Donna (15th September 2021), Pam (16th September 2021), Peace in Oz (16th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), toppy (16th September 2021), Victoria (15th September 2021)

  11. Link to Post #6
    China Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    7th October 2012
    Location
    Huai'an, Jiangsu Province ,China
    Language
    English
    Posts
    1,162
    Thanks
    1,050
    Thanked 4,516 times in 1,022 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Hi Pam,

    Can I ask you some questions?


    Quote The closest thing I ever got was a comment from my dad. "Pam, why don't you stand up for yourself". No further discussion that was it.
    Do you mind sharing that what kind of things your dad say so to you? I see that your job and your child in your replies?

    Quote Courage is strongly discouraged in our culture.
    Really? I thought courage is strongly encouraged in western countries.

    Jena

  12. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to xidaijena For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (16th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Harmony (16th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), Pam (16th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), Wind (16th September 2021)

  13. Link to Post #7
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by Wind (here)
    I've loved this channel for years. It's a hidden gem, especially for those who are interested in philosophy and psychology too.
    It really is a gem. When I went to the channel I read that 2 brothers produce the content.

  14. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (16th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Harmony (16th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), Wind (16th September 2021)

  15. Link to Post #8
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by xidaijena (here)
    Hi Pam,

    Can I ask you some questions?


    Quote The closest thing I ever got was a comment from my dad. "Pam, why don't you stand up for yourself". No further discussion that was it.
    Do you mind sharing that what kind of things your dad say so to you? I see that your job and your child in your replies?

    Quote Courage is strongly discouraged in our culture.
    Really? I thought courage is strongly encouraged in western countries.

    Jena
    Jena, thank you for your thoughtful questions. I will answer the first question about my father. My father really gave me no direction other than to be quiet in the presence of adults and not to come out of my room unless I could have a smile on my face. Although he was not strong in the area of helping to build character he was a hard worker and we always had food to eat and a place to live. My dad did the best he could and I appreciate that.

    Your second question Jena is very interesting. I believe the Western culture was built by hugely courageous people. Courageous,resourceful and innovative. Slowly and insidiously many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion. It truly is discouraged here in many respects. Many of us have become weak and entitled and expect the government or someone else to make decisions for us. Many have become mentally and ethically lazy. Many of us are in a sort of amoral malaise. I believe that we have intentionally been programmed to be this way so that we are more compliant.

    You probably won't see those people on this forum. You might see people wishing to fortify the skill of being courageous or building character but we don't represent the larger culture. I have always loved and admired your culture. Do you feel the Chinese people as a rule are courageous?

  16. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (16th September 2021), Ewan (16th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Harmony (16th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), Wind (16th September 2021), xidaijena (17th September 2021)

  17. Link to Post #9
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Let's look at courage from different perspectives and how this virtue has woven itself through the history of mankind.

    I understand that I may be preaching to the choir with most Avalonians, but I do feel there is someone out there that needs this stuff. And then there is me, I am benefiting from researching this.


    Last edited by Pam; 16th September 2021 at 17:41.

  18. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (16th September 2021), Ewan (16th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Harmony (16th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tigger (16th September 2021), Vicus (16th September 2021), Wind (16th September 2021), xidaijena (17th September 2021)

  19. Link to Post #10
    China Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    7th October 2012
    Location
    Huai'an, Jiangsu Province ,China
    Language
    English
    Posts
    1,162
    Thanks
    1,050
    Thanked 4,516 times in 1,022 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by Pam (here)

    Jena, thank you for your thoughtful questions. I will answer the first question about my father. My father really gave me no direction other than to be quiet in the presence of adults and not to come out of my room unless I could have a smile on my face. Although he was not strong in the area of helping to build character he was a hard worker and we always had food to eat and a place to live. My dad did the best he could and I appreciate that.

    Your second question Jena is very interesting. I believe the Western culture was built by hugely courageous people. Courageous,resourceful and innovative. Slowly and insidiously many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion. It truly is discouraged here in many respects. Many of us have become weak and entitled and expect the government or someone else to make decisions for us. Many have become mentally and ethically lazy. Many of us are in a sort of amoral malaise. I believe that we have intentionally been programmed to be this way so that we are more compliant.

    You probably won't see those people on this forum. You might see people wishing to fortify the skill of being courageous or building character but we don't represent the larger culture. I have always loved and admired your culture. Do you feel the Chinese people as a rule are courageous?
    Thank you for sharing frankly about your father and my question, I also appreciate it.

    About your father, well, I want to say, maybe he should raise a son not a daughter. As a female, we are not strong or independent as male. We are weak and not very easy to make money or deal with the job and family both well. But the outside world, even our family member—parents will give us / push us to make money for ourselves well or the whole family.

    I am not a good daughter. When I entered Lifechanyuan, my father was totally angry and my mother has to raise the family to make money when she was 62 years old. My mother was like a man to raise my dad. they always cursed with each other but still had to live together.

    What is our culture? Our Culture is we must follow our parents and must take care of them. The fee of hospital is very high. we'd better pray to God that our old parents are well or it will be a disaster in our family.

    To the culture of courage, I think you are free in some how, but we don't have freedom in many aspects. We need to a quiet and safe person in China otherwise the police will arrest you. no guns in our home.

    But Jesus says the truth. and I watched the video you share, they speak the truth. When I find the truth of Heaven from Lifechanyuan, I have the wisdom to see the people around me and what my parents push me to do something I don't like. But knowing that the things is not good for me are one thing, stopping doing the "bad" thing is another thing. This is called courage in my understanding.

    For me, only after six times mental hospital and ten breat operations can I get enough courage to tell my mother not to push me to work for money and get marriage.

    Let me share two quotes with you to better understand my heart.



    I had died for three times.



    My damage is deep and once painful. Now I am feeling well.

    Thank the Greatest Creator.

    Hugs to you, Pam, hope you can learn some from my sharings.

    Jena

  20. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to xidaijena For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Kryztian (17th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), Pam (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), Tyy1907 (17th September 2021)

  21. Link to Post #11
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by xidaijena (here)
    Quote Posted by Pam (here)

    Jena, thank you for your thoughtful questions. I will answer the first question about my father. My father really gave me no direction other than to be quiet in the presence of adults and not to come out of my room unless I could have a smile on my face. Although he was not strong in the area of helping to build character he was a hard worker and we always had food to eat and a place to live. My dad did the best he could and I appreciate that.

    Your second question Jena is very interesting. I believe the Western culture was built by hugely courageous people. Courageous,resourceful and innovative. Slowly and insidiously many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion. It truly is discouraged here in many respects. Many of us have become weak and entitled and expect the government or someone else to make decisions for us. Many have become mentally and ethically lazy. Many of us are in a sort of amoral malaise. I believe that we have intentionally been programmed to be this way so that we are more compliant.

    You probably won't see those people on this forum. You might see people wishing to fortify the skill of being courageous or building character but we don't represent the larger culture. I have always loved and admired your culture. Do you feel the Chinese people as a rule are courageous?
    Thank you for sharing frankly about your father and my question, I also appreciate it.

    About your father, well, I want to say, maybe he should raise a son not a daughter. As a female, we are not strong or independent as male. We are weak and not very easy to make money or deal with the job and family both well. But the outside world, even our family member—parents will give us / push us to make money for ourselves well or the whole family.

    I am not a good daughter. When I entered Lifechanyuan, my father was totally angry and my mother has to raise the family to make money when she was 62 years old. My mother was like a man to raise my dad. they always cursed with each other but still had to live together.

    What is our culture? Our Culture is we must follow our parents and must take care of them. The fee of hospital is very high. we'd better pray to God that our old parents are well or it will be a disaster in our family.

    To the culture of courage, I think you are free in some how, but we don't have freedom in many aspects. We need to a quiet and safe person in China otherwise the police will arrest you. no guns in our home.

    But Jesus says the truth. and I watched the video you share, they speak the truth. When I find the truth of Heaven from Lifechanyuan, I have the wisdom to see the people around me and what my parents push me to do something I don't like. But knowing that the things is not good for me are one thing, stopping doing the "bad" thing is another thing. This is called courage in my understanding.

    For me, only after six times mental hospital and ten breat operations can I get enough courage to tell my mother not to push me to work for money and get marriage.

    Let me share two quotes with you to better understand my heart.



    I had died for three times.



    My damage is deep and once painful. Now I am feeling well.

    Thank the Greatest Creator.

    Hugs to you, Pam, hope you can learn some from my sharings.

    Jena

    Jena, It sounds to me like you mother is a very strong and courageous woman. A mother's love for her children can bring out the strongest courage possible. Even though your parents did not provide you with the ideal life it sounds like they have done the best that they can.

    I know that as a mother we sometimes push our children to do certain things because we believe it will make their life better. I have done that to my son. I had to come to the realization that he has his own life and he gets to choose what he will do with that life. He doesn't need me to try to micromanage his life so he can avoid suffering. So now I help if I am asked but I no longer try to meddle with his decisions. We all do the best we can, even if the best doesn't seem good enough.

    I do not believe you are a bad daughter! You are a very good, honest and open person. You get to choose what you do with your life and if your parents don't like it, well they don't like it. Ultimately, that is not your problem. It is a total waste to spend your life trying to please someone else. Do what you feel is best for your life!

  22. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), tendril (17th September 2021), xidaijena (18th September 2021)

  23. Link to Post #12
    United States Avalon Member
    Join Date
    21st July 2021
    Language
    English
    Age
    59
    Posts
    40
    Thanks
    1,031
    Thanked 368 times in 39 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Greetings Pam,

    This is a salient topic and I commend you on all your work with it, all that you have said here. Thank you for creating this thread. It's lovely you have such earnestness.

    I found your response to 'xidaijena's' second question such a shockingly true statement. And worth saying again.

    Pam said, "Your second question Jena is very interesting. I believe the Western culture was built by hugely courageous people. Courageous,resourceful and innovative. Slowly and insidiously many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion. It truly is discouraged here in many respects. Many of us have become weak and entitled and expect the government or someone else to make decisions for us. Many have become mentally and ethically lazy. Many of us are in a sort of amoral malaise. I believe that we have intentionally been programmed to be this way so that we are more compliant."




    Certainly, this holds, "many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion..." true for girls. (as that is who I have raised up into adult) The mere acting in a courageous fashion often is mocked intimately for life by family or school mates etc. As well as limited in scope, often to a single event. Not to mention, can become a hugely sexualized act. It's nearly a supernatural event to even try to be in the state of mind to be self-sovereign, living with courage and to act in the best possible interest, for oneself. From young to old, I've seen this experience in a number of people. Often confusion acts as a set up to 'Mal Adaptive thinking'. Life long patterning which set such destructive mannerisms. I think it's a lonely road resolving any of that for each individual. This requires tremendous courage to even want to try to tackle.

    Courage is equal to the task for us all here. There is no one size fits all in discovery. Cannot happen, not that way. There are 6-8 billion (meaning the population of earth) ways to find courage. It is simple but it is hard, right?!

    I believe that courage is an expression of selfhood in the face of adversity. Small or huge the requirement, finding courage in tiny regular steps, I totally agree with that thought Pam.

    Thanks

    tendril

  24. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to tendril For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), Pam (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), xidaijena (18th September 2021)

  25. Link to Post #13
    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
    Join Date
    29th June 2012
    Posts
    3,370
    Thanks
    42,395
    Thanked 27,393 times in 3,308 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by tendril (here)
    Greetings Pam,

    This is a salient topic and I commend you on all your work with it, all that you have said here. Thank you for creating this thread. It's lovely you have such earnestness.

    I found your response to 'xidaijena's' second question such a shockingly true statement. And worth saying again.

    Pam said, "Your second question Jena is very interesting. I believe the Western culture was built by hugely courageous people. Courageous,resourceful and innovative. Slowly and insidiously many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion. It truly is discouraged here in many respects. Many of us have become weak and entitled and expect the government or someone else to make decisions for us. Many have become mentally and ethically lazy. Many of us are in a sort of amoral malaise. I believe that we have intentionally been programmed to be this way so that we are more compliant."




    Certainly, this holds, "many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion..." true for girls. (as that is who I have raised up into adult) The mere acting in a courageous fashion often is mocked intimately for life by family or school mates etc. As well as limited in scope, often to a single event. Not to mention, can become a hugely sexualized act. It's nearly a supernatural event to even try to be in the state of mind to be self-sovereign, living with courage and to act in the best possible interest, for oneself. From young to old, I've seen this experience in a number of people. Often confusion acts as a set up to 'Mal Adaptive thinking'. Life long patterning which set such destructive mannerisms. I think it's a lonely road resolving any of that for each individual. This requires tremendous courage to even want to try to tackle.

    Courage is equal to the task for us all here. There is no one size fits all in discovery. Cannot happen, not that way. There are 6-8 billion (meaning the population of earth) ways to find courage. It is simple but it is hard, right?!

    I believe that courage is an expression of selfhood in the face of adversity. Small or huge the requirement, finding courage in tiny regular steps, I totally agree with that thought Pam.

    Thanks

    tendril
    tendril, I really appreciate your thoughtful commentary. I don't think I ever welcomed you to the forum but I am really glad you are here!.

    I would like to share a Jordon Peterson video. Some may not like to hear him, but I think he makes such an important point that building character takes effort and discipline. It is work, it may not be easy but the beautiful thing is that it can be done and I find that encouraging. We may all be called on using our inner resources soon and I want to be prepared so I have to practice. I have wallowed in the gutters and soared with the eagles in this lifetime, but when the final challenges come I would like to have courage and dignity.

    Here is a great video. Just under 5 minutes in length.


  26. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Pam For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th September 2021), Franny (18th September 2021), Mike (17th September 2021), RunningDeer (17th September 2021), Wind (17th September 2021), xidaijena (18th September 2021)

  27. Link to Post #14
    China Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    7th October 2012
    Location
    Huai'an, Jiangsu Province ,China
    Language
    English
    Posts
    1,162
    Thanks
    1,050
    Thanked 4,516 times in 1,022 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by Pam (here)


    Jena, It sounds to me like you mother is a very strong and courageous woman. A mother's love for her children can bring out the strongest courage possible. Even though your parents did not provide you with the ideal life it sounds like they have done the best that they can.

    I know that as a mother we sometimes push our children to do certain things because we believe it will make their life better. I have done that to my son. I had to come to the realization that he has his own life and he gets to choose what he will do with that life. He doesn't need me to try to micromanage his life so he can avoid suffering. So now I help if I am asked but I no longer try to meddle with his decisions. We all do the best we can, even if the best doesn't seem good enough.

    I do not believe you are a bad daughter! You are a very good, honest and open person. You get to choose what you do with your life and if your parents don't like it, well they don't like it. Ultimately, that is not your problem. It is a total waste to spend your life trying to please someone else. Do what you feel is best for your life!
    Thank you for your kind words to me, dear Pam.

    As a Chinese daughter of old parents, I am not good to give their enough money or material conditons to let them feel proud. Yes, my mother is great and cool in my eyes and heart. This is why I need to listen to her advice.

    But now, I can live my own life which don't need her big support.

    Pleasing someone to get what I need is costing my life. Now I will stand up and live for my own.

    You did a good job. You are a strong mum, too.

    This is also the reason that I don't want to have a baby. I will be a "crazy" mum...lol

    Jena

  28. The Following User Says Thank You to xidaijena For This Post:

    RunningDeer (18th September 2021)

  29. Link to Post #15
    China Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    7th October 2012
    Location
    Huai'an, Jiangsu Province ,China
    Language
    English
    Posts
    1,162
    Thanks
    1,050
    Thanked 4,516 times in 1,022 posts

    Default Re: Finding Courage within yourself.

    Quote Posted by tendril (here)

    Certainly, this holds, "many of us have lost the ability to act in a courageous fashion..." true for girls. (as that is who I have raised up into adult) The mere acting in a courageous fashion often is mocked intimately for life by family or school mates etc. As well as limited in scope, often to a single event. Not to mention, can become a hugely sexualized act. It's nearly a supernatural event to even try to be in the state of mind to be self-sovereign, living with courage and to act in the best possible interest, for oneself. From young to old, I've seen this experience in a number of people. Often confusion acts as a set up to 'Mal Adaptive thinking'. Life long patterning which set such destructive mannerisms. I think it's a lonely road resolving any of that for each individual. This requires tremendous courage to even want to try to tackle.

    Courage is equal to the task for us all here. There is no one size fits all in discovery. Cannot happen, not that way. There are 6-8 billion (meaning the population of earth) ways to find courage. It is simple but it is hard, right?!

    I believe that courage is an expression of selfhood in the face of adversity. Small or huge the requirement, finding courage in tiny regular steps, I totally agree with that thought Pam.

    Thanks

    tendril
    First, welcome you to Avalon, dear tendril, I saw your profile and find you are such a beautiful and independent lady. Welcome!

    Indeed, I think to man, courage is easier than women.

    In this era, I meet more and more independent women to live their own life.

    There is a saying in Chinese : 在末法时期,女性会比男性更加精进。

    In the end of the era, women will be more diligent than men.

    Quote That courage is an expression of selfhood in the face of adversity. Small or huge the requirement, finding courage in tiny regular steps
    Yes, when I can't accpet or feel so stressed about something or some environment, I will become a small universe to "bomb" them and then start to change my mind state and begin new life.

    Courage to me needs to "bomb" the tradional way of the people's thinking who are around me.

    Hugs and flowers to you and Pam.

    I think we are all brave ladies and light beings shine brightly.

    Jena

  30. The Following User Says Thank You to xidaijena For This Post:

    RunningDeer (18th September 2021)

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts