I'm not sure I'm functioning properly. Things are taking a toll

[Delight]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
This is kinda of a shout out to everyone. Anyone feel similar ?

I wake in the morning and already feel a low grade sickness in my stomach.

Doug I feel you and most days I use the metaphor of a gyroscope to describe my emotional state because I MUST keep pulling myself back to my center. I am all over the place but always return home to my native "frequency" of well being.

Based on my view of REALITY in the BIG picture, some of us chose to be here to witness and REFUSE the offered presentation in such a way that many possible negatives are not happening. This is what I have always seen as my "woowoo" space in the collective. It is not that I think I am special, it is that IMO everyone will receive a reality they have committed to experiencing because of free will. The thing is that at the same time I KNOW my own personal experience supports how malleable REALITY IS, I cannot forget that my fellow human beings are NOT having what I have and it sickens me temporarily several times a day.

Today I committed to putting a new roof on my old house because it is leaking. That means I used my savings plus a loan to do the job. This actually is a way of affirming a future for me where I am here, where I am working and have an income.

My saving grace is my work because when I am having massage clients, I reaffirm my personal health, my safety (if there is transmission of an energetic "pall" or whatever), my love of the work, my LOVE of humans I meet.

What SpookyMulder said is what I use in my own way. Actually I first use my imaginal vacuum cleaner to suck up all energy that is not mine and send it to Source. I FEEL the removal viscerally. It works. Then I bring in my own light out.

Stay within yourself, in that sense medidate. Make the light and love grow within you, increase its strenght and push it out to litteraly take over your body, your surroundings, your house, outside your house, your city, the people in it, everything that comes in your path, everything that you can think of, people, animals, plants, trees, objects. Invade the whole world and universe with both love and light.

Recently my brother has been visiting and we have had great adventures where we meet ONLY wonderful people having a great day. That reinforces to me that my "woowoo" is real.

It seems that some people are in a weird way enjoying that this plandemic and jab roll out are happening? It supports their insistence that the world is is going down (for whatever reasons).

I stand in defiance to the self serving negativity dished out with the alt news. IMO even if these people relishing all the details of evil don't know it, they may be complicit.

I think this is a tight rope walk on a knife edge. It is for those who choose to love Creator's world to keep an eye on all that is FOR Love, FOR truth (which includes the truth that all IS WELL when we insist it be well FOR us).

Since I have no kids, I am not emotionally distraught for people in my life so I am lucky that way. I feel more globally the horror. When people are committed to the scarcity model, they are in constant danger of capitulation. I sincerely appreciate we have a direct line to the UNIVERSAL power which creates worlds PERSONALLY. So far, this is reflected back to me. My main job is to keep my heart centered on gratitude to "what I understand is God but have no idea how to describe".

Hope you feel how important your peace IS for a whole world in which you are the center.

[1212is24]

I feel you. My personal method of staying sane is based on physical fitness. There is something about lifting weights, running, using a sauna, and eating healthy food that has a harmonic effect.

I also think it is important to be close to nature. Animals. Fresh air. Different kinds of scenery (bushes, beaches, mountains, whatever possible).

Above all else, being around people has the best effect on the mind. This isolation has made us all feel a bit isolated and withdrawn. We need to connect with people. Even if they are strangers. Even if you talk to a stranger and they don't like you, it still has a positive effect on your mind because you have interacted with someone. And why wouldn't they like you? The best thing is to have a good time with your friends though.

Full disclosure... I have also been combining that recently with copious amounts of red wine. Not every day... but, let's say a double-digit number of days per month. I am just being honest. Not interested in any commentary or judgment about whether or not such a choice is good or bad. I am healthy and I do it. Even if someone told me it would kill me, I would continue doing it. I like red wine. Cheers.

[Apulu]

Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
Apulu

a very heavy and honest message. In honesty we can only communicate what is real, what is honest for us. not saying it is in a sense dishonest, but perhaps diplomatic as that is what diplomacy ultimately is. A compromise of disagreement needed to be said to keep peace.

make your music, put the album out, WHY cause why not? what elese are you to do, same as me. I want to put out my musical. why? whay not.

sadie blue, how is your sister ? please keep us all updated

Thanks Doug.

I should probably say - I don't feel heavy right now, even though there was some heavy stuff on my reply. It's been a tough time, but I don't tend to remain stuck in heaviness these days. Certainly not ike I used to.

Anyway all the best in your endeavours brother 👍 I look forward to hearing the musical 🙂

[Apulu]

Posted by Pam (here)
Apulu, I am going to make a copy of your beautiful post so I can continually reread it. Thank you.

That completely warns my heart Pam thanks for that. I'm glad I posted 🙂

[janette]

Posted by Patient (here)
Oh I hear you! Loud and clear!

I went out today to the post office to collect my mail. I tried to parallel park in front as there was only one parking space left - but the cars behind repeatedly pulled right up behind me not letting me back up. They hit their horn and then drove around me while doing so they are facing oncoming traffic almost causing an accident right beside me. When the third car did this to me I just left and drove around and parked on the other side of the street. (Yes, my direction signal works - I checked.)

I go into the post office to find that it is closed today. Canada now has a new holiday to recognize native Canadian kids that were killed in the past. (I suspect that they are only doing this to distract the public from the vaccine push.)

The schools aren't closed and what do I see in front of the kid's school? A Mobile Vaccination Bus!

I find it harder to go out as the public is becoming dumber by the day. It is more dangerous to drive. 2 days ago a driver drove off the road in front of our home - right into the creek. Yesterday another accident occurred 2 cars ahead of me in traffic.

I think for us good people there is as field of protective positive energy around us - at least I am always projecting that thought, and so far so good!

I am going to spend as much time outside around the house today as I can - forget work for a while - it can wait! I am gonna take out the canoe, practice some archery and enjoy the beautiful fall weather!

There is a lot of negativity around us - you have to find a way to light up yourself from the inside and push it away! I often think of myself as a lantern or a lighthouse shining positive light that people can feel.

It works for me!

I love your lantern analogy.. Think I'll borrow that one 😁👍

[pyrangello]

Doug , I've always said life is like a pendulum , it swings extreme one way and then the other , but it always come back to center.

Back in the mid 80's after I got out of the military after 4 years I started my own business by myself, In 12 years time by the mid 90's I employed over 50 people and things were just cranking. I was in my 30's making piles of cash, doing what I wanted , buying whatever, travel, ect. ect.

Then the moon got twisted sideways in the sky in 1997. I had 3 companies that screwed me out of $700,000.00 , I was getting a divorce, my brother as suing me , and I got put on probation for some BS thing. I watched my entire world unravel in 1 year and had to inform 50 people they no longer had a job ! In 1998 I closed my business down with $500.00 in my pocket and had to borrow 3k from my parents. I thought well at least I will get unemployment for a while only to find out that in michigan if your self employed your only entitled to 6 weeks unemployment . The lady at the unemployment office said to me we usually don't tell people this when they are here because they get violent. And even after I closed everything down and filed bankruptcy I had another business file a lawsuit that dragged out another 2 years at a legal cost of $26,000.00 , I didn't own anything at that point and had a few individuals that wanted to lets say not shake my hand in appreciation . I did win the lawsuit but then it got appealed and 60 days later my attorney called me and said to come to his office. He said close the door. I sat down and he said they overturned the lawsuit and the judge got paid off, I'll never prove and I was fuxxed! 3 years of nothing but chaos and now i was stuck paying another 25k on top of my legal fees of which this was money I didn't even have.

Thru it all , I kept telling myself " ONE DAY IT"S GONNA GET BETTER, ONE DAY I"LL BE SITTING BACK HAVING A BEER AND JUST REFLECT ON THIS MOMENT IN TIME AND SAY WHAT A RIDE THAT WAS, ONE DAY IT WILL GET BETTER" And you know what , yep that day did come and yes it did get better just like the pendulum that swings all the time, eventually it will come back to center. .

[indiana]

So totally get it Doug. I've been talking about this on a regular basis with a few people here in Ireland that are awake to all the pure BULL****E and LIES that are going on. Specifically myself, my brother and two other friends. If I'm to be honest, i thought the "old normal" was a bunch of arse too... but this current carry-on brings it all to a whole new level altogether. I guess we all must soldier on as best we can, try to be there for ourselves and for each other as much as is possible. Much love, kamerad!

[Gemma13]

INCREDIBLE, BEAUTIFUL THREAD!  So many amazing people, so many amazing quotes that do deserve to be on bumper stickers.

Living in despair from chronic daily pain and suffocation took me to the edge of the cliff frequently too.  You're dancing with the devil and death, but deep down you know you're not gonna take this f#cker home to bed... no matter how hot he is. Something deep keeps ringing a bell of hope, hang in there, hang in there, hang in there... it will change.

A few weeks ago I had a day... like no other.  Excruciating pain dialled up and up and up.  I was so desperate I pined for the hunting rifle I had 30yrs ago.  I wanted to write one word for everyone... Sorry... and then blow my head off.  This one was f#cking real!

It took every ounce of me to resist.  A memory haunted me.  You got this!

A few days later... I walked out of hell and haven't looked back.

The heart centering, that many here have eloquently shared, is crucial.

I have always been able to sit in that frequency but for the life of me I couldn't get the "techniques for spiritual super powers" of healing and love, to work.

Techniques are coming at me thick and fast now though and I'm absolutely loving my Spiritual Ninja.  She is the one that sits on my shoulder now.

Thank you Avalonians... your frequencies of love have carried me many times over the years   Please never forget that!

[wondering]

Doug, You seem to really hit common concerns with your posts! I am so in synch with many others...just a kind of awful time for me. I wonder if there is some kind of mind control resulting in our discouragement and even despair. The atmosphere of deceit weighs on me...if I have the radio on in the car or just glance at MSM headlines, my heart sinks with the continual lies... So, I don't know what to do other than what I am doing, with a fairly poor outcome lately. Just keep on keeping on. I am grateful for the honestly and vulnerability of this Forum, however, I have cut back some on my reading time. Peace and strength to us all. Diane

[rgray222]

Hi Doug it is perfectly understandable to feel the way you do, especially with everything that has happened or hasn't happened over the past year. We all process and cope with life differently so I am not coming here to offer advice, I am here to tell you that you are not alone and that everything (without exception) in this life is temporary.
R

[haroldsails]

It becomes more obvious every day that we are being squeezed, crushed emotionally. The most distressing thing to me is old friends who have acquiesced - taken the jab ...in many cases to keep a job. I feel like we are being ground down. As though, one by one we are being picked off. I also feel that we must not allow that to happen. We have no choice but to be strong, but how to be strong in the face of the most powerful, and evil entities on earth? I see clips from Australia, and think we (USA) are next. My batteries are low, I feel in a wakened state. I know one thing for certain (from experience) self medicating will make things worse. We know too much to be able to escape into the numbness of booze or chemistry. We are going to have to stand firm - together. I am heartened that so many of us feel this ominous future coming at us. I had begun to feel very much out in left field with few friends. After reading this whole thread, it's clear that is not the case. Thank you to all who are opening their hearts here, it is very helpful.

[Gracy]

Hey Doug,

As already demonstrated here by so many good hearted, smart, and well versed people, there's lots of different things one can do to try and lighten the load.

As a fellow empath, I have my own time honored philosophies for maintaining stability throughout whatever come what mays.

One of those that comes in handy for me is looking back as a roadmap for looking forward. The barrage of doomsday we wade through every day is ever mounting, but how much of it is really likely to happen...

I'll just throw one quick example with a snippet out here, but there are countless more over the years just like it, both way before, and way after. One common thing they all seem to have in commonality over the years, regardless of the source, is the image not dissimilar to the hard core Christian guy on the corner bearing a dire warning that "THE END IS NEAR!"

That's age old, so here's the newer example from 2013, 8 1/2 years ago now. The end was near then too, and Doug Hagmann loved to preach the good word. See any similarities to today?

His "high-level source within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security", was dead wrong there, and the same is happening now.

Don't let them destroy your life with "the sky is falling" routine. There's always going to be s##t going down but, that doesn't mean the end is near.

Much like my high-level source within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security outlined in a series of interviews beginning last year, the orchestrated collapse of the U.S. dollar and the entire world’s economic system has begun. The first shots in a global economic take-over were fired in Cyprus as my esteemed colleague and founding editor of Canada Free Press, Judi McLeod laid out in frank detail in her column yesterday and her follow up today.

Please read it and heed her advice, or suffer the consequences of your own normalcy bias that such an event will not happen in the United States, Canada, or from wherever you might be reading this. It will, and the plan appears to be on schedule for a shot across the bow later this spring here in the West, with a more aggressive take-over starting sometime this fall, according to my source.

The Plan
To those needing a quick refresher, the plan is quite simple and can be summarized by the Clinton-era quip attributed to political strategist James Carville, “the economy, stupid” and the June 9, 2010 statement by former Obama czar Van Jones, Socialist extraordinaire, “top down, bottom up, inside out.” It is a plan for a one world Communist economy where the “middle class” will be wiped out through a series of events that will have the same ultimate effect as we are seeing in present day Cyprus.

https://canadafreepress.com/article/...e-it-has-begun

[haroldsails]

I want to clarify something I said about "self medicating" being a bad idea in the face of great personal stress - I am not implying that psychedelics do not have great value as a tool for spiritual growth, because I believe they really do..

[Satori]

thepainterdoug et al. I’m quite sure you are functioning properly.

To my way of thinking, the fact that you started this thread and opened your heart and mind for all to appreciate proves that. These are indeed trying and difficult times, but humanity will persevere and prevail. Of that I am certain. I am much less certain, however, that I will be here to see those days. And that is fine by me. I’ll continue to do my part while I’m here.

My true hope and desire is that my children, their generation and generations to come see those days. I’m convinced they will.

Until then, we must individually and as a nation and world continue to put one foot in front of the other and persevere.

Namaste.

[Heart to heart]

Doug, my other self. I hear you and feel your pain. Whatever is happening in this crazy world we are living in it has to be a case of acceptance, such a hard lesson to learn, and gratitude for the life we have. There is no gain without pain and everything comes to pass, and pass it will. For those of us who stand firm in our own blessed light looking to a new future that we are dreaming into being there will come a time when love and compassion dwell in the heart of the new human.
This is a fight for the souls of humanity and we must hang on to our souls, our divine starlight, at all cost. You have many gifts to share so create your own reality, paint a new world into being, sing a new song and know that you are truly loved on this forum.
You came to Earth with a contract and like us all thought it would be easy. Saving a planet is quite a task but that is why we are here, to bring our beautiful Mother Earth back into balance. We WILL fulfil our destiny and you will shine again. It is just a little bumpy at the moment. Meanwhile I will hold you in my heart❤️🙏❤️

[wondering]

haroldsails, did you mean you feel in a wakened state or a weakened state, given the low batteries? Interesting contrast....

[Gracy]

Posted by haroldsails (here)
I want to clarify something I said about "self medicating" being a bad idea in the face of great personal stress - I am not implying that psychedelics do not have great value as a tool for spiritual growth, because I believe they really do..

Yes, absolutely haroldsails, they have a rich abundance to offer when used appropriately. As I'm sure you well know, as with every other facet of life decisions, proper time and proper place applies heavily.

[TomKat]

I agree that you should vary your morning routine, go for a walk or run, look at things in the environment. And maybe you're thinking too much. As Gary Douglas says, "if you're thinking you're stinking."

[thepainterdoug]

well I cannot thank you all enough for receiving my post with love, care and concern. I will try to thank you specifically when i re read the many posts.

Gracie May, I just want to say that yes, so often our fear or our end of the world scenario doesnt actually happen. Seneca and the Stoics often speak of this.

However, It is happening.Its happening now. It is not a fear for the future , its a reckoning of the now. Its in Australia, Canada, Europe and now at our door. Its in our censorship, our schools, our fear of speaking out, our reality of being cancelled and our real time eroding freedoms happening right now.

I feel for my son, his wife and their someday children, and when, we all look back, will I be ok with saying, did I do something. do you not feel this?

And should we all say, hey whatever, it will go as it goes, will we just be another generation of lazy deniers who didnt stand up and allowed the wolf back in ?

[Bubu]

Posted by Mike (here)

Posted by Pam (here)

Posted by Mike (here)
Doug I think you should attempt a podcast sort of thing.

You're passionate, smart, articulate, and very comfortable in front of a camera.

It'll allow you to connect with people a little more and discuss all the things that are troubling you - 2 birds with 1 stone - and a whole bunch of other interested people will be able to listen in.

Good opportunity to promote your art too.

And I would like to see Mike as your first guest.

And I think Pam should be your first guest!

I agree with Bill on the LSD, psychadelic thing (tho I also fully understand why it was suggested). I've done LSD maybe 5 times, and 2 of those times were during periods of great emotional turmoil. I was trying to escape something, and the results weren't pleasant. LSD is not an escapist drug. Quite the contrary, it forces you to engage your emotions even more..and you have absolutely no control over it when it kicks in.

Get outside in the sun and the fresh air, as Bill said. Get active. I have to practically drag myself to the gym but I always feel so much better after, even if I only work out for 30 mins or so.

Good advice Mike, There is something that people missed with natural psychedelics though. They are enhancers of sort. It means don't use it when you're on the negative side. It's only going to enhance the negativity. Bring yourself first, even temporary, on the positive side. This is the reason ayahuasca have ceremonies prior.