+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 6 1 6 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 106

Thread: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

  1. Link to Post #1
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

    Somehow, this is identified as being a very spiritual person, or wise or something along those lines

    But it is not, it's unnatural and bizarre, it's like 'a spiritual servant' to other people's energies. Someone who doesn't even try to change the order of some things is not a good person really, it opens some bad doors for behavior of others, if you think about it

    Also this, if you are 100% of the time a very nice person, and never, ever get angry because of other people's actions, it just means that you are not growing at all, you have a 'wall of nice' around you, and as soon as you lose control over it you'll probably get a mental breakdown and end up in loony town

    It makes a person vey bizarre, truly, because it should be normal that other people's actions make you angry or bothered, and you should be able to express it and then the other person, ideally, should be able to reason this and change something in them to avoid causing that bad effect on other people, or somehow talk about the issue, if this is avoided, then it's all fake, isn't it?

    When i see people who always smile, even if something very bad happens, i don't think they are optimistic, i think they are a boiler about to explode, holding so much pressure that it becomes bizarre to watch, and the smile is like a human mask facade of some sort, it's not real, it's the opposite of truly being happy and of truly living life to the max

    If you don't get upset or bothered by some things, then how do you truly enjoy peaceful moments, if you can't feel the intensity of life anymore? Sometimes going to the river and swimming means it may rain and then you did not get to swim the way you wanted, and it's ok to feel disappointed or bothered by it. It's how nature works, or maybe you twist your ankle in the rocks one second away from entering the water and then there's no swimming anymore, and that's how life works, and if you want to throw rocks at the water to get rid of the frustration so do it!

    Not everything is a signal o or lesson from life, and not everything has a special meaning/purpose from the creator, and being 100% perfect spiritual and loving all the time is fake, that's not wisdom or anything but craziness waiting to happen

    A twisted ankle hurts like hell, and there's no lesson there, it twisted because the person stepped on a rock and wasn't firm enough and now they day at the river is ruined, cry or yell and feel frustrated and then slowly walk home and take care of the pain somehow, and don't go smiling pretending that 'it's fine, other people must be suffering more' because it's not, it hurts like hell and what other people may be going through has nothing to do with your ruined day and current pain

    Or you can end up like this lol


    /rant
    Last edited by Mashika; 13th June 2022 at 22:47.
    Tired

  2. The Following 58 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    Ankle Biter (13th June 2022), Ben (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (13th June 2022), Bluegreen (14th June 2022), bluestflame (14th June 2022), Brigantia (14th June 2022), cannawizard (31st August 2022), Chester (15th June 2022), Creedence (30th August 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Dick (14th June 2022), Dorjezigzag (15th June 2022), Ernie Nemeth (16th June 2022), Eva2 (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), Heart-2-Heart (15th June 2022), ian33 (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), Johnnycomelately (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), Kryztian (14th June 2022), Losus4 (15th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Matthew (14th June 2022), Michi (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), O Donna (13th June 2022), Ol' Roy (15th June 2022), Open Minded Dude (14th June 2022), pabranno (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), Strat (15th June 2022), Sunny-side-up (14th June 2022), T Smith (14th June 2022), TealHorizon (19th October 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Tyy1907 (14th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), Wansen (14th June 2022), Watching from Cyprus (18th June 2022), wondering (13th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022), xidaijena (23rd June 2022)

  3. Link to Post #2
    Avalon Member O Donna's Avatar
    Join Date
    9th January 2018
    Posts
    1,683
    Thanks
    12,362
    Thanked 13,158 times in 1,663 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Mashika (here)

    Or you can end up like this lol


    /rant
    (Nedward Flanders, Jr. grew up in New York , currently lives at 744 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield)

    End up like what? Two dimensional?



    Knock Knock

  4. The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to O Donna For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), TomKat (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), Watching from Cyprus (18th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  5. Link to Post #3
    Costa Rica Avalon Member
    Join Date
    13th February 2021
    Location
    In a Log Cabin in the Mountains
    Language
    English
    Posts
    582
    Thanks
    444
    Thanked 4,422 times in 554 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?

  6. The Following 34 Users Say Thank You to Jim_Duyer For This Post:

    Ben (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), Heart-2-Heart (15th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mare (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pabranno (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Tyy1907 (15th June 2022), ulli (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), Watching from Cyprus (18th June 2022), wondering (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  7. Link to Post #4
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Jim_Duyer (here)
    People handle confrontation differently. My neighbor, who is suffering from the same foolish actions of another neighbor as I am, never gets angry about it. I got so steamed that I wanted to burn his house down. (He is stealing water from another neighbor who has no idea, and lets it fill a tank with no shut-off float. So when the 12,000 liter tank fills, its excess simply flows into the earth around it and is lost. We've asked him to either quit the theft or put a cheap float valve on it - he chooses to do neither). I eventually had to talk to a shrink about it - my blood pressure was getting too high, and I could not get it out of my thoughts. She told me something that I put into practice and will never forget. She said - Luke was not responsible for his dad, Darth Vader. Hitler's dad was not responsible for his son Adolf. Quit getting angry over the actions of others - it won't change things and it will not give you peace. That helped met to get over it after awhile. And now, both I and my close neighbor just smile and consider what an ass the other neighbor is - without raising our blood pressure. So see, some have figured out another way to handle things - perhaps they were once very angry and showed it?
    But then, you still allow the other person to steal, and nothing much changed, you are not getting frustrated but this allows the other person to continue harming your neighbor without any consequences

    This is what i meant by
    Quote it opens some bad doors for behavior of others
    But yeah i understand "sometimes it's just not worth it to fight it", however if done too much then everything becomes plain and bland, and then there's no change happening, life gets stalled in several ways. It's like the bystander effect thing somehow

    Tired

  8. The Following 28 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    Ben (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), Creedence (30th August 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Michi (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pabranno (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  9. Link to Post #5
    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    27th November 2013
    Age
    70
    Posts
    3,216
    Thanks
    11,007
    Thanked 33,162 times in 3,159 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    My kind of post Mashi , you got it. To avoid living duality is to be in denial of our 3d physical experiential life, we volunteered to come and take part in.
    the other side, the place of the spirit is where the constant smily belongs. not here.
    Get angy and get over it. It doesnt mean the hate is eternal, its temporary.
    Feel the hot and the cold, the fat and the thin, be your etnicity , your color, your sex. Be real, and experience it all.

    blessings
    doug

  10. The Following 24 Users Say Thank You to thepainterdoug For This Post:

    Ben (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), Michel Leclerc (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), onevoice (15th June 2022), Open Minded Dude (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  11. Link to Post #6
    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    7th February 2010
    Location
    Ecuador
    Posts
    34,268
    Thanks
    208,959
    Thanked 457,520 times in 32,788 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Thanks for this, and it's an important and fascinating issue to discuss. I'd love to hear everyone else's views and experiences.

    Here's a starting point. Many will have seen this before, but it's worth repeating. And it's true.



    What this means, I think, is that anger needs to be
    • Directed at the right target.
    • Proportional to the "offense".
    And something that Aristotle didn't say is that this is all a subset (an aspect) of being honest.

    That's the larger issue. Making nice with someone who you feel furious with for a well-justified reason isn't honest. Not with the other person, and not with yourself.

    And there are ways of expressing anger that are more responsible than others.

    Screaming at someone that they're a ******* jerk and punching them on the nose (or worse!) might not be as effective as sitting them down and telling them very strongly and directly that you're extremely angry with them, and explaining exactly why.

    My own personal experience is slightly qualified, a little unusual inasmuch as I'm a minor public figure. And there are people to this day, some who've I've never met or ever interacted with, who post stuff on social media about me that's hateful, snide, inaccurate, vindictive and immature.

    When I first encountered this, I was bewildered and hurt. It was like this Larson cartoon:



    Then I developed an increasingly thick skin. One develops that after this has happened over and over again. I still get hurt sometimes, but only very rarely, only when someone who I really thought was a true friend had suddenly (in my opinion) betrayed me. The last time that happened was 3 years ago.

    So I've learned not to "be nice", but to ignore the critics and trolls. My energy and time is finite — as anyone's is — and so it's like a strategic management exercise to focus my time, energy and attention on things that seem to be useful, and not to get into firefights with people just because I feel like letting off steam.

    And besides, as a mod here I get to use the one-click "ban" button, which is the internet equivalent of a firing squad. Simply ending someone's virtual existence.

    So with "Gracy May", for instance, and also Frank (Aragorn), whose actions really did anger and disgust me, I simply banned them both and apologized sincerely to the Avalon community for not figuring it all out much earlier.

    But after that, I never said or wrote a thing to them. They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.

    ~~~

    I get angry about other things as well. The big-picture issue that angers me the most is the wilful, selfish destruction of the planet and its biosphere. I feel that more than anything else. Here's a tiny story, which happened a couple months ago.

    I was on a mountain hike in a very beautiful place, but one which was not that far from a local tourist spot. So I knew that people besides myself sometimes went up there, but not that often and usually just on public holidays — which I carefully avoid.

    As always, I was totally loving being there with my dog and all the tiny, subtle, delicate living things all around me. Then I came across this big pile of trash.

    Someone had just dumped it there after a picnic. It wasn't heavy, just a big bunch of plastic bags, uneaten junk food and empty containers. They could so very easily have taken it back with them.

    I can't properly express how overwhelmed with rage I was. It was so strong, it actually surprised me.

    It was a tiny thing. But for me it epitomized (served as a perfect example of) the way humans now are so utterly disconnected with anything that resembles what used, long ago, to be an unquestioned traditional value of taking guardian care of the whole oh-so-valuable, beautiful world around us.

    It was dumb ignorance. And (for me) it said EVERYTHING about our terminally sick consumer society.

    I collected the trash, every tiny bit of it, and carried it back with me. The hike to the road was maybe 45 minutes.

    In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

    But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
    Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.

    All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.
    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 14th June 2022 at 00:47.

  12. The Following 54 Users Say Thank You to Bill Ryan For This Post:

    Adi (15th June 2022), Bluegreen (14th June 2022), Casey Claar (14th June 2022), Chip (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Eva2 (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Gwin Ru (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), Ioneo (14th June 2022), Ivanhoe (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), Johnnycomelately (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), kudzy (14th June 2022), Le Chat (14th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), Michel Leclerc (14th June 2022), Michi (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), Ol' Roy (15th June 2022), onawah (15th June 2022), onevoice (15th June 2022), Open Minded Dude (14th June 2022), Orph (14th June 2022), pabranno (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Satori (14th June 2022), Sirus (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Tracie (Bodhicee) (14th June 2022), Vangelo (14th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), Wansen (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022), xidaijena (23rd June 2022), yelik (15th June 2022), Yoda (14th June 2022)

  13. Link to Post #7
    United States Avalon Member Bluegreen's Avatar
    Join Date
    18th July 2014
    Location
    Ø
    Language
    ¿
    Posts
    10,817
    Thanks
    45,830
    Thanked 52,168 times in 10,101 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Being nice is so easy


  14. The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to Bluegreen For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), Creedence (30th August 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Ernie Nemeth (15th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), haroldsails (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), Mike (14th June 2022), mojo (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Strat (18th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  15. Link to Post #8
    United States Avalon Member thepainterdoug's Avatar
    Join Date
    27th November 2013
    Age
    70
    Posts
    3,216
    Thanks
    11,007
    Thanked 33,162 times in 3,159 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Bill, great idea and quote from Aristotle. will participate.

    Bluegreen
    yes, to people who are nice.

  16. The Following 21 Users Say Thank You to thepainterdoug For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), Bluegreen (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (21st June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  17. Link to Post #9
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    Thanks for this, and it's an important and fascinating issue to discuss. I'd love to hear everyone else's views and experiences.

    Here's a starting point. Many will have seen this before, but it's worth repeating. And it's true.



    What this means, I think, is that anger needs to be
    • Directed at the right target.
    • Proportional to the "offense".
    And something that Aristotle didn't say is that this is all a subset (an aspect) of being honest.

    That's the larger issue. Making nice with someone who you feel furious with for a well-justified reason isn't honest. Not with the other person, and not with yourself.

    And there are ways of expressing anger that are more responsible than others.

    Screaming at someone that they're a ******* jerk and punching them on the nose (or worse!) might not be as effective as sitting them down and telling them very strongly and directly that you're extremely angry with them, and explaining exactly why.

    My own personal experience is slightly qualified, a little unusual inasmuch as I'm a minor public figure. And there are people to this day, some who've I've never met or ever interacted with, who post stuff on social media about me that's hateful, snide, inaccurate, vindictive and immature.

    When I first encountered this, I was bewildered and hurt. It was like this Larson cartoon:



    Then I developed an increasingly thick skin. One develops that after this has happened over and over again. I still get hurt sometimes, but only very rarely, only when someone who I really thought was a true friend had suddenly (in my opinion) betrayed me. The last time that happened was 3 years ago.

    So I've learned not to "be nice", but to ignore the critics and trolls. My energy and time is finite — as anyone's is — and so it's like a strategic management exercise to focus my time, energy and attention on things that seem to be useful, and not to get into firefights with people just because I feel like letting off steam.

    And besides, as a mod here I get to use the one-click "ban" button, which is the internet equivalent of a firing squad. Simply ending someone's virtual existence.

    So with "Gracy May", for instance, and also Frank (Aragorn), whose actions really did anger and disgust me, I simply banned them both and apologized sincerely to the Avalon community for not figuring it all out much earlier.

    But after that, I never said or wrote a thing to them. They can work out their own karma in their own time without any help from me. I'm not their guide, or teacher, or jailer. They can be on their own with all that.

    ~~~

    I get angry about other things as well. The big-picture issue that angers me the most is the wilful, selfish destruction of the planet and its biosphere. I feel that more than anything else. Here's a tiny story, which happened a couple months ago.

    I was on a mountain hike in a very beautiful place, but one which was not that far from a local tourist spot. So I knew that people besides myself sometimes went up there, but not that often and usually just on public holidays — which I carefully avoid.

    As always, I was totally loving being there with my dog and all the tiny, subtle, delicate living things all around me. Then I came across this big pile of trash.

    Someone had just dumped it there after a picnic. It wasn't heavy, just a big bunch of plastic bags, uneaten junk food and empty containers. They could so very easily have taken it back with them.

    I can't properly express how overwhelmed with rage I was. It was so strong, it actually surprised me.

    It was a tiny thing. But for me it epitomized (served as a perfect example of) the way humans now are so utterly disconnected with anything that resembles what used, long ago, to be an unquestioned traditional value of taking guardian care of the whole oh-so-valuable, beautiful world around us.

    It was dumb ignorance. And (for me) it said EVERYTHING about our terminally sick consumer society.

    I collected the trash, every tiny bit of it, and carried it back with me. The hike to the road was maybe 45 minutes.

    In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

    But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
    Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.

    All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.
    It reminds me of something a friend did lots of years ago, he was drinking with some friends at a small place outside a gas station. Then some random unknown person came by their table and said "do you want to buy a steam iron machine?" And they asked "What for?", the then said "it's for a drink or two, i'll sell it cheap", but they wondered if it was stolen and asked, the guy said "no no, not stolen, i just took it from my wife!" then my friend asked, so wait, you took this from your own home to sell so you can buy drinks? and the guy said, "yes!", then another guy in the group asked, so what happens tomorrow or next days, when you don't have an ironing machine at home, and the drunk guy said "I'll just beat her up for not ironing my shirts lol!"

    At that point they said, ok guy, get the f out of here! But then one guy said, you want beer? I'll give you beer, and he offered a can of beer, then every time the drunktard was trying to sip from the can, my friend would hit him in the face, then tell him "want more beer? drink up!" and the drunktard would try again, then get hit in the face one more time, this happened until the cops came by to see what was going on, then once told the ironing machine issue, they left without helping the guy and doing nothing with my friend and his group, who kept beating the guy until there was no beer left

    That's how it is, sometimes, 'proportionate' I suppose everything, even the bigger pleasures in life, can lead to hell
    Last edited by Mashika; 14th June 2022 at 02:08.
    Tired

  18. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), Ewan (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  19. Link to Post #10
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Bluegreen (here)
    Being nice is so easy

    There are two parts to it

    You can be nice, because all your experiences in life caused you to become nice and understand people better

    Or you can 'act' nice, because you think by doing that you will eventually become nice 'fake it till you make it', but that's not how it works at all. It's trap

    Being nice sometimes is not easy, acting nice can most times be easy. You don't have to feel it, just go through the motions

    A lot of rich people 'act' nice, but they are terrible persons behind closed doors, (some movie stars, politicians, some religious people) for example

    But if you interact with them in public, they sure are nice
    Tired

  20. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Jambo (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  21. Link to Post #11
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    In that time, something seemed to awaken within me. It was extremely powerful. And having experienced it strongly for every second, every step, of those 45 minutes, I eventually felt I should force myself to moderate it a little — because Aristotle might have gently pointed out that it was rather out of proportion.

    But here's what I was thinking. I was like some kind of angry god.
    Okay, humans, that was your last chance. There's no more mercy. No more tolerance. I have no more patience. I want you off this beautiful planet. I want you all to experience what you deserve. I want this entire sick, degenerate society to crash and burn and fail. And it will.

    All because of a small pile of ugly trash. But I can reconnect with that feeling quite easily if I "try" to. I do sometimes wonder what power I might have — a serious confession — and like Aristotle, I just try to handle it as best I can.
    I can imagine meeting the people who left the trash out there and hitting their butts/wacking them in the head with the trash bag, then asking them to put it all back into the bag, only to hit them once again and make another mess, then asking them once more, very politely, to pick it all up and put it into the bag

    There's a side crazy thing to all of it, the realisation in them that they can't escape you and must pick it up once more, already knowing what will happen next

    Ha ha ha oh no.... lmao
    Last edited by Mashika; 14th June 2022 at 02:13.
    Tired

  22. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  23. Link to Post #12
    Canada Avalon Member DeDukshyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    22nd January 2011
    Location
    From 100 Mile House ;-)
    Language
    English
    Age
    50
    Posts
    9,394
    Thanks
    29,778
    Thanked 45,445 times in 8,541 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    IMHO, being spiritual certainly has nothing to do with being "nice". Its about being true and holding the utmost respect to yourself, your environment, your loved ones, and those around you.

    Usually (most often) the result of that is expressed and perceived as "nice", but sometimes, being what people might perceive as "mean" or "insensitive" is nothing more than holding true to yourself and the highest values you can express.

    Its not really more complex than that. Being true to oneself also comes with the understanding that you are not responsible for others perceptions, but also that you should try to recognize and work with those perceptions, not against them.
    Last edited by DeDukshyn; 14th June 2022 at 02:16.
    When you are one step ahead of the crowd, you are a genius.
    Two steps ahead, and you are deemed a crackpot.

  24. The Following 25 Users Say Thank You to DeDukshyn For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Ioneo (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), lunaflare (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), Sue (Ayt) (15th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  25. Link to Post #13
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by thepainterdoug (here)
    My kind of post Mashi , you got it. To avoid living duality is to be in denial of our 3d physical experiential life, we volunteered to come and take part in.
    the other side, the place of the spirit is where the constant smily belongs. not here.
    Get angy and get over it. It doesnt mean the hate is eternal, its temporary.
    Feel the hot and the cold, the fat and the thin, be your etnicity , your color, your sex. Be real, and experience it all
    .

    blessings
    doug
    Exactly! I think of it that way "hit me with all you have, life!", then you get back and keep going strong

    Interacting with life should be like walking on the rain and not be afraid or covering yourself from the rain drops, but instead feeling them in your face and walk through them, enjoying every second of it

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    And sometimes, the nicest thing you can do for other people, is to sit them down and tell them, even yelling (if necessary) what they did was wrong and explain how and why this is not how it should be
    Tired

  26. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022), yelik (15th June 2022)

  27. Link to Post #14
    Avalon Member lunaflare's Avatar
    Join Date
    18th March 2010
    Posts
    550
    Thanks
    785
    Thanked 2,338 times in 435 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

    I do not believe we can possibly know how other people think, feel, and act 100% of the time.
    This life experience is tough and no one passes through unscathed.
    As mentioned, we all process things differently.
    Everyone's lived experience and zodiac wheel is unique.

    I am learning that it is not possible to fully comprehend the journey of another.
    What is unconscionable to one person may be ok for another

    There have been times, in the past, I have left rubbish as it was incovenient for me to carry .
    There have been times that I have been disproportionately angry and, as a result, carried guilt.
    I pause more these days. I allow others to find their own Way.
    I no longer wish to harm myself nor another.
    What is the right way to behave? I only know for myself.
    I desire to be a better human; a better version of myself.
    The body-heart has its own compass regarding what feels right or wrong.
    Perhaps "playing nice" is a stepping stone to some other alchemical process, that---eventually-- leads to kindness.

    Kindness seems to be the glimmering golden philosopher's stone; the holy grail.

  28. The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to lunaflare For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (17th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Sue (Ayt) (15th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  29. Link to Post #15
    Ecuador Avalon Member Rosemarie's Avatar
    Join Date
    4th November 2018
    Language
    Spanish
    Age
    65
    Posts
    314
    Thanks
    5,293
    Thanked 2,895 times in 311 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
    ‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL
    "Be kind for everybody is fighting a great battle" Plato

  30. The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to Rosemarie For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), Bluegreen (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (16th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), Open Minded Dude (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rhogar (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), Sue (Ayt) (15th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Vicus (14th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  31. Link to Post #16
    Avalon Member O Donna's Avatar
    Join Date
    9th January 2018
    Posts
    1,683
    Thanks
    12,362
    Thanked 13,158 times in 1,663 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    It is also a futile ground for the likes of psychopaths' and sociopaths.
    All they have to do is mimic the behaviorism and wear the spiritual regatta and guards are let down when in reality further vetting should have taken place.

    Quote The sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church is the result of what police call "noble cause corruption," the belief that because you are dedicated to doing good, you can do no wrong.

    Alex Gibney
    Knock Knock

  32. The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to O Donna For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Snoweagle (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022), XelNaga (21st June 2022)

  33. Link to Post #17
    On Sabbatical
    Join Date
    26th September 2019
    Language
    None
    Posts
    3,411
    Thanks
    10,548
    Thanked 27,828 times in 3,335 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by lunaflare (here)
    Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions

    I do not believe we can possibly know how other people think, feel, and act 100% of the time.
    This life experience is tough and no one passes through unscathed.
    As mentioned, we all process things differently.
    Everyone's lived experience and zodiac wheel is unique.

    I am learning that it is not possible to fully comprehend the journey of another.
    What is unconscionable to one person may be ok for another

    There have been times, in the past, I have left rubbish as it was incovenient for me to carry .
    There have been times that I have been disproportionately angry and, as a result, carried guilt.
    I pause more these days. I allow others to find their own Way.
    I no longer wish to harm myself nor another.
    What is the right way to behave? I only know for myself.
    I desire to be a better human; a better version of myself.
    The body-heart has its own compass regarding what feels right or wrong.
    Perhaps "playing nice" is a stepping stone to some other alchemical process, that---eventually-- leads to kindness.

    Kindness seems to be the glimmering golden philosopher's stone; the holy grail.
    Kindness and acting nice because that's how 'you must behave' are not the same

    Let me rephrase this

    Quote Some times, i see people who 100% all the time are very nice, never get angry, never argue, they never, ever say anything hard or act upon other people's actions
    to this

    "Every time some people interacts with other people, and or animals, or nature, they act as if they are so 100% perfectly balanced that nothing, absolutely nothing can causes them to stop being perfectly aligned and happy. Nothing bothers them, nothing breaks them, nothing makes them upset, but only to the outside world"

    That's not true happiness, or being honest, or mindful, or 'high frequency', it's actually the opposite of it, it's blocking the true life experience and pretending just because 'it is expected' and even if you don't feel it, you act it because "fake it till you make it"

    That's not how it works, that's soul destructive, it drains your energy and turns you into a sad person inside, even if you always have a smile for other people, or encouraging words

    Instead, let's accept life as it comes, with ups and downs, and if you don't feel like smiling then just don't, and if something bothers you, then say so, and if you get hit by a car, then be upset about it, and if a dog pees in your leg, then don't pretend you are not bothered by it, don't hit the dog, but do say something about it, even if to yourself while still accepting the dog did nothing wrong from his pov

    Be real, be honest, be strong and be caring, but don't pretend life is a rainbow road full of nice things and that nothing is ever wrong, that's a trap into darkness and you won't experience life to the fullest ever. You'll just squander your life and time on this reality by always looking away and running away from pain or anything that is not made out of silk and pleasant

    /rant

    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    Quote Posted by Rosemarie (here)
    Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
    ‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL
    Not everything is a fight, and not every time you have to run inside when it starts to rain as well, sometimes you have to jump into the rain, instead of running away from it. But you need to do it more than once, so you get to be truly alive
    Last edited by Mashika; 14th June 2022 at 03:24.
    Tired

  34. The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to Mashika For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), ClearWater (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), ian33 (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), kfm27917 (16th June 2022), Mark (Star Mariner) (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022)

  35. Link to Post #18
    Avalon Member O Donna's Avatar
    Join Date
    9th January 2018
    Posts
    1,683
    Thanks
    12,362
    Thanked 13,158 times in 1,663 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Rosemarie (here)
    Will keep it short. What I have learned is to…..choose your fights. It was a lesson I learned with my kids as teenagers and have continued to apply since then.
    ‘’ Choose your battles wisely. After all, life is not measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It is not winning battles that makes you happy, but it is how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is to short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. ‘’ C.JOYBELL
    Principles of martial arts. A good martial artist will not only be skilled in combat, but also in staying calm and rational.

    Then the devil led Jesus to the holy city of Jerusalem and put him on a high place at the edge of the Temple area. He said to Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, jump off, because the Scriptures say, ‘God will command his angels to help you, and their hands will catch you, so that you will not hit your foot on a rock.’” Jesus answered, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the Lord your God. - Matthew 4:5-11

    Quote “Just because you can doesn't mean you should.”

    ― Sherrilyn Kenyon
    Never forget the first time a 'mom' said these words, "Chose your battles, wisely" when I ask why she was letting her kids get away with something.

    (have not fully learned that with all things, work in progress)
    Knock Knock

  36. The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to O Donna For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (14th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022)

  37. Link to Post #19
    Avalon Member justntime2learn's Avatar
    Join Date
    22nd April 2014
    Posts
    2,167
    Thanks
    67,271
    Thanked 14,880 times in 2,121 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Quote Posted by Bluegreen (here)
    Being nice is so easy

    So much easier than the alternative
    “To develop a complete mind: Study the art of science; study the science of art. Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else” – Leonardo Da Vinci

  38. The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to justntime2learn For This Post:

    avid (14th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), Bluegreen (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), O Donna (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Rosemarie (17th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022)

  39. Link to Post #20
    Avalon Member O Donna's Avatar
    Join Date
    9th January 2018
    Posts
    1,683
    Thanks
    12,362
    Thanked 13,158 times in 1,663 posts

    Default Re: Being nice all the time is not being spiritual, or wise

    Not to be nice or anything but....

    You know what's beautiful? That we can come together and discus varied views. Diversity, stunning.
    Knock Knock

  40. The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to O Donna For This Post:

    Adi (15th June 2022), Bill Ryan (14th June 2022), DeDukshyn (14th June 2022), Denise/Dizi (14th June 2022), ExomatrixTV (14th June 2022), Harmony (14th June 2022), Johan (Keyholder) (14th June 2022), justntime2learn (14th June 2022), Mari (14th June 2022), Mashika (14th June 2022), pounamuknight (15th June 2022), Reinhard (14th June 2022), Rosemarie (17th June 2022), RunningDeer (14th June 2022), thepainterdoug (14th June 2022), Tigger (15th June 2022), Violet3 (14th June 2022)

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 6 1 6 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts