You like beautiful females or Graceful ones?

[xidaijena]

The second topic is here:

Do you like beautiful females or Graceful ones? Why?

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7 Steps To Instant Feminine Poise

A woman who is poised is not easy to come by. Perhaps she was 30, 40, 50 + years ago. But such a woman is not too common these days.

An embodied feminine woman is often the epitome of grace, elegance and poise.

The definition of poise is:

Calm confidence in a person’s way of behaving, or a quality of grace.

Poise is also defined as:

The state of being balanced.

The only negative thing about women who are “traditionally” poised, is that sometimes this poise tends to be accompanied by a sense of rigidity.

This rigidity is not really poise. And it doesn’t accomplish the balance that is required when one is aiming to be poised and graceful.

Some women who are traditionally ‘poised’ take themselves too seriously, and take the issue of poise too far.

(Click here to take the quiz on “How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?”)

Remember that if you want to be a poised and graceful woman, you still need to maintain your femininity.

Femininity is not about being rigid, and no feminine woman should be tight and stringent in her manner and/or life, unless she really needs to be.

Truly feminine women have a beautiful quality of spontaneity and freedom.

Feminine energy flows with the energy of life. It is sometimes chaotic, sometimes calm, and at other times, even melancholy and dark.

What Is The Real Meaning Of Graceful And Poised?
It seems to me that the definition of poise has also evolved. When I wrote this article ten years ago and looked up the definition of poise, poise meant that you had a sense of “Composure” about you.

I think the idea of composure can lead us astray, and that the concept of “balance” or the state of being “balanced” is a much better definition to work with.

The idea of composure implies that you should be in control and appear to feel nothing.

Sometimes, people who are “composed” border on stoical; and this is not always ideal.

Stoicism is a wonderful trait to have in the right context and at the right times. In fact, stoicism has gotten humanity through a lot of suffering and tough times.

However, in normal day to day life, there’s no need to STRIVE to be stoical, unless you’re interacting with someone whom you know you cannot trust.

If you are interacting with someone you cannot trust, and you don’t want them to know about your feelings or vulnerability, it makes complete sense to be stoical.

So of course, there is a time and place for composure, but it’s important not to take this overboard.

Even if you are seeking to be poised, you can take the issue of composure lightly.

Why?

Because composure isn’t poise. Authentic poise is more about being an esteemed human being.

Sometimes the lowest value women can loo the most composed (because they’re deathly afraid of being revealed and aren’t comfortable with being vulnerable).

What Is The Real Meaning Of Graceful And Poised?
It seems to me that the definition of poise has also evolved. When I wrote this article ten years ago and looked up the definition of poise, poise meant that you had a sense of “Composure” about you.

I think the idea of composure can lead us astray, and that the concept of “balance” or the state of being “balanced” is a much better definition to work with.

The idea of composure implies that you should be in control and appear to feel nothing.

Sometimes, people who are “composed” border on stoical; and this is not always ideal.

Stoicism is a wonderful trait to have in the right context and at the right times. In fact, stoicism has gotten humanity through a lot of suffering and tough times.

However, in normal day to day life, there’s no need to STRIVE to be stoical, unless you’re interacting with someone whom you know you cannot trust.

If you are interacting with someone you cannot trust, and you don’t want them to know about your feelings or vulnerability, it makes complete sense to be stoical.

So of course, there is a time and place for composure, but it’s important not to take this overboard.

Even if you are seeking to be poised, you can take the issue of composure lightly.

Why?

Because composure isn’t poise. Authentic poise is more about being an esteemed human being.

Sometimes the lowest value women can loo the most composed (because they’re deathly afraid of being revealed and aren’t comfortable with being vulnerable).

Here are the steps to achieving instant poise:

1: Achieve Authentic Confidence. (Poise Is A Result Of Plenty Of Self-Confidence).
Acknowledge that your purpose is not to ‘appear’ self-assured and poised, but to be truly and actually poised, from deep within – where you harbor an unshakable sense of certainty and self-confidence.

If you do lack self-confidence, think:

‘What would I do in this situation if I DID know what to do?’

Self-confidence is your friend when it comes to achieving poise.

If you are self-confident, it’s much easier to go with the flow, be strong (in a feminine way) and become able to deal with any situation that arises.

Poise is about knowing your value despite the circumstances.

But to have that value, you need to focus on bringing value to the people around you.

When you can bring value to the metaphorical table, you will easily achieve that elusive sense of confidence that is essential for grace and poise.

2: Face Your Fears And Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes, No Matter How Big They Are.
Even a woman who has acted ‘cheap’ in the past can achieve poise.

A lot of women have done things in their past that they regret, that were less than graceful, respectable and poised – and as a result they “lock” themselves in to one particular identity.

If you lock yourself into one identity, then guess what other people who know you will do? They will see you as only this one kind of person too!

However, if you act like a graceful and elegant woman who is poised, and believe in it, other people will, too!

If anyone is going to give you respect (something that often ensues when you are a poised and graceful woman), you have to give it to yourself first.

You need to acknowledge your past mistakes, know that you are human and that most of us have a skeleton or two in our closet.

But just because you did a certain thing in the past, acted a certain way, or made a certain mistake, doesn’t preclude you from joining the ranks of poised and graceful ladies now.

Forgive yourself – learn from your mistakes and ease in to grace, elegance and poise.

No mistake in your life has truly earned its place until you learn from it and continue to love yourself despite the mistake.

2: Face Your Fears And Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes, No Matter How Big They Are.
Even a woman who has acted ‘cheap’ in the past can achieve poise.

A lot of women have done things in their past that they regret, that were less than graceful, respectable and poised – and as a result they “lock” themselves in to one particular identity.

If you lock yourself into one identity, then guess what other people who know you will do? They will see you as only this one kind of person too!

However, if you act like a graceful and elegant woman who is poised, and believe in it, other people will, too!

If anyone is going to give you respect (something that often ensues when you are a poised and graceful woman), you have to give it to yourself first.

You need to acknowledge your past mistakes, know that you are human and that most of us have a skeleton or two in our closet.

But just because you did a certain thing in the past, acted a certain way, or made a certain mistake, doesn’t preclude you from joining the ranks of poised and graceful ladies now.

Forgive yourself – learn from your mistakes and ease in to grace, elegance and poise.

No mistake in your life has truly earned its place until you learn from it and continue to love yourself despite the mistake.

5: Correct Your Posture, If Your Posture Is Suffering.
Most people need to get better posture. And I don’t blame them – it’s so easy to get terrible posture with our lifestyle these days.

The traditional walking with a book-on-the-head strategy doesn’t work.

There are much better ways to improve your posture.

It’s not something that can be taught very well through words, so if you are interested in a video on improving your posture, please see our videos and post on 3 Steps to Instant Good Posture.


6: Know That Receiving Praise Or Criticism From Others Isn’t Always That Great.
Sure, praise is nice, and in fact, feminine women grow in their femininity through praise.

But don’t become reliant on other people’s praise or criticism! People can be fickle, and it matters not what they think. It matters more how you feel within yourself!

For this point, I’d like to quote the amazing Coach John Wooden:

“You can’t let praise or Criticism get to you. It is a weakness to get caught up in either one”

Know your value. Appreciate others’ praise and/or criticsm, but don’t take it to heart.

Even if you are no.1 at something and everyone is always praising you about it, we are always learning.

Part of knowing your value is knowing your abilities as well as your limitations. I do believe anyone can achieve anything they wish, but it’s important not to descend in to that toxic type of arrogance or egotism.

Toxic arrogance destroys poise. It is not graceful, and neither is it elegant.

I say toxic arrogance because not all arrogance is inherently bad. The quiet type of arrogance that comes from you having real skills and real esteem isn’t bad per se. It may just make people who already feel small feel triggered.

7: Model Others Who Are Already Graceful And Poised.
If there is a woman whom you consider to have great poise; look to her, figure out what it is that makes her so poised.

Is it a special point of elegance that she has? Is it her ability to think before she acts?

Is it the way she holds herself?

Is it that she’s incredibly feminine and embodied?

Poise consists of how one is presented to the world from the outside, as well as a person’s mindset.

Possible examples of women whom I think have great poise:

Natalie Portman

Candace Owens

Nicole Kidman

Audrey Hepburn

Michelle Pfeiffer

Kate Beckinsale

SUMMARY:
1. Poise comes through true, authentic inner confidence.

2. Face your fears and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Don’t get ‘locked’ in to a particular identity, or past identities.

3. Be honest but not blunt. Give real, good feedback, express your opinions with class and integrity.

4. Avoid a scarcity mindset.

5. Develop good posture.

6. Know your value, and be confident in your value.

7. Model others.


Source: https://www.thefemininewoman.com/7-s...instant-poise/