+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 8 1 8 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 154

Thread: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

  1. Link to Post #1
    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    7th February 2010
    Location
    Ecuador
    Posts
    34,268
    Thanks
    208,995
    Thanked 457,534 times in 32,788 posts

    Default Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    -------

    Dear All:

    Here's a topic which I have no personal experience of, but have in the past been associated with friends who have had deeply moving and life-changing experiences.

    It's about when something goes badly wrong in a family, there's a [sometimes very long] period of disconnection, and then everything is healed again.

    This experience recently happened to a friend of mine, and the love and healing that was released by a sincere, humble explanation of what had gone awry, accompanied by a heartfelt apology that was gratefully received, has transformed several generations of an entire family -- including elderly parents in the twilight of their long lives who had never, ever thought they would see the day.

    An experience of my own (indirectly) was quite a while back, when I was leading and running personal development courses. I was talking with the group -- about a dozen young men and women -- about how many decisions are simple ones. Some things are easy to do.. and easy not to.

    For example (I said): "When you're hungry, it's easy to go to the kitchen to find a cookie or a candy bar. It's also easy to find a piece of cheese or an apple."

    You see, decisions that can ending up molding our lives are often a choice between two things that are easy.

    I then gave the example of picking up the phone. "It's easy to think of a friend, look at the phone, and do nothing. It's also easy to pick it up, and dial 10 numbers on the keypad. Like this."

    Then I mimed doing just that with my cellphone. It took maybe 15 seconds, and almost no effort.

    A couple of minutes after that, with the conversation continuing, one of the group members, a young man in his mid-20s, quietly excused himself and got up to leave the room. I assumed that he'd gone to the bathroom.

    But 10 minutes later, he had not returned. The group's conversation was still interesting and valuable, so I overlooked his absence.

    20 minutes passed. Then 30.

    After 35 minutes, he returned, looking a little spaced out. Several of the others enquired how he was, wondering if he'd been feeling ill.

    He looked around, and took a deep breath.

    "I've just phoned my father," he said. "I've not spoken to him for 13 years." And then he began to weep.

    That set us all off. It was life-changing for him. And all because he made the choice between two things that were easy.

    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 13th November 2021 at 19:03.

  2. The Following 174 Users Say Thank You to Bill Ryan For This Post:

    42 (7th November 2015), 4evrneo (13th August 2012), Adi (10th August 2012), Alberto e Daniela (18th November 2014), Amysenthia (12th August 2012), angelahedgehog (7th November 2012), Anka (25th November 2019), applecrusher1992 (6th September 2012), Applesprig (27th April 2023), Art (11th August 2012), astrid (11th August 2012), AuCo (10th August 2012), Aviator (11th August 2012), Bhusunda (12th August 2012), Billy (10th August 2012), bluestflame (11th August 2012), Bluewool (12th August 2012), bogeyman (10th August 2012), boolacalaca (1st May 2017), Buck (11th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmen (10th August 2012), Carmody (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (10th August 2012), Ceedub (11th August 2012), ceetee9 (22nd April 2018), CeltMan (10th August 2012), charlesfrith (12th September 2012), christian (10th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), Cjay (11th August 2012), Constance (12th July 2020), Corncrake (11th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), Czarek (11th August 2012), Dancerrose (9th December 2012), danielle (8th November 2012), DarMar (11th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), Davidallany (8th November 2015), DebJoy (1st May 2017), Dennis Leahy (13th August 2012), Digit (23rd April 2023), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), Earth Angel (10th August 2012), ED209 (12th August 2012), Eram (10th August 2012), Ernie Nemeth (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Ewan (18th December 2023), Firinn (14th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (10th August 2012), gaiagirl (11th August 2012), gandra99 (12th August 2012), Gardener (10th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), Gemini (11th August 2012), ghostrider (11th August 2012), gs_powered (12th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), hohoemi (13th August 2012), Holly Lindin (10th August 2012), Hypnos (18th May 2013), Iloveyou (5th November 2015), Inaiá (22nd September 2013), intruth (14th August 2012), Jean-Luc (10th August 2012), Jean-Marie (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), Johan (Keyholder) (5th July 2019), Johnnycomelately (17th September 2022), JRS (14th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Kano (11th August 2012), karelia (10th August 2012), kcbc2010 (10th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Kristin (10th August 2012), Kristo (10th August 2012), Kryztian (9th July 2022), kudzy (9th July 2022), Lazlo (10th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Lisab (10th August 2012), lisinskib (14th May 2017), ljwheat (10th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Mare (11th August 2012), MargueriteBee (10th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (10th August 2012), Mark (12th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), Matthew (30th March 2023), Maunagarjana (8th September 2013), meat suit (10th August 2012), meeradas (10th August 2012), Melinda (10th August 2012), Michelle Marie (22nd April 2018), Molope (11th August 2012), MorningSong (10th August 2012), Mozart (11th November 2012), musicadi (16th August 2012), Muzz (10th August 2012), Möbius (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Neal (11th August 2012), nearing (12th August 2012), nonesuch (10th August 2012), noprophet (10th August 2012), Nyce555 (14th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), OmeyocaN777 (12th August 2012), palehorse (4th January 2022), Pam (11th August 2012), Pani (11th August 2012), Peace of Mind (10th August 2012), PegasusRising (11th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), raregem (7th November 2015), Referee (12th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Renne (14th August 2012), Rich (3rd July 2019), Richard S. (11th August 2012), Robert J. Niewiadomski (13th August 2012), Rocky_Shorz (15th August 2012), Rodrigo (11th August 2012), Rollo (10th August 2012), ROMANWKT (10th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), RUSirius (11th August 2012), sandy (10th August 2012), seantimberwolf (10th August 2012), Seikou-Kishi (17th August 2012), seko (10th August 2012), selinam (11th August 2012), shadowstalker (11th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), sigma6 (12th August 2012), Simon (7th November 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), Snookie (4th September 2012), soleil (10th December 2012), spiritwind (11th August 2012), spuddie (11th August 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), Sunny-side-up (18th May 2013), superior88 (18th September 2023), sygh (14th August 2012), tessie999 (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Timreh (12th August 2012), toothpick (11th August 2012), transitionalman (13th August 2012), truth4me (10th August 2012), ulli (10th August 2012), Valerie Villars (22nd April 2018), Vrilya (11th August 2012), Vrinda (16th December 2016), w00tl00ps (12th August 2012), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), WHOMADEGOD (14th August 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), write4change (11th August 2012), Yoda (11th August 2012)

  3. Link to Post #2
    Scotland Moderator Billy's Avatar
    Join Date
    27th January 2011
    Location
    Scotland
    Age
    69
    Posts
    6,749
    Thanks
    55,318
    Thanked 33,557 times in 5,028 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    My daughters partner had not spoken to his father or brothers since his parents divorced 15yrs ago. my daughter phoned all his family and invited them to join in on their sons 30th birthday last may. Mother with husband, father with wife and brothers with family all arrived in the west highlands.
    Thanks to my daughter the family are reunited.

    As Joe Cocker sings. It's time for the healing to begin

    peace
    When you express from a fearful heart in the now moment, You create a fearful future.
    When you express from a loving heart in the now moment, You create a loving future.

    Have no fear, Be aware and live your lives journey from a compassionate caring nurturing heart to manifest a compassionate caring nurturing future. Billyji


    Peace

  4. The Following 49 Users Say Thank You to Billy For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), bogeyman (10th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (10th August 2012), ceetee9 (22nd April 2018), CeltMan (10th August 2012), Constance (12th July 2020), crested-duck (10th August 2012), Dancerrose (9th December 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), Ewan (18th December 2023), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), Johnnycomelately (17th September 2022), kanishk (3rd March 2013), karamba (17th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), meeradas (11th August 2012), Mozart (11th November 2012), Neal (19th September 2013), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), palehorse (4th January 2022), raregem (7th November 2015), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Renne (14th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), sandy (10th August 2012), seko (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), soleil (10th December 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), Sunny-side-up (18th May 2013), tessie999 (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), ulli (10th August 2012), Valerie Villars (22nd April 2018), Vrilya (11th August 2012), w00tl00ps (12th August 2012), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), write4change (11th August 2012)

  5. Link to Post #3
    Avalon Member pilotsimone's Avatar
    Join Date
    19th March 2010
    Age
    51
    Posts
    408
    Thanks
    2,577
    Thanked 1,626 times in 238 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    delete post
    Last edited by pilotsimone; 17th July 2015 at 09:32.
    Let go or be dragged. -Zen proverb

  6. The Following 64 Users Say Thank You to pilotsimone For This Post:

    4evrneo (13th August 2012), aranuk (10th August 2012), astrid (11th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmen (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), CeltMan (10th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), Debra (8th September 2012), Deega (12th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), eileenrose (8th September 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), hohoemi (13th August 2012), Holly Lindin (11th August 2012), Jean-Luc (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), karamba (17th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), meeradas (10th August 2012), MorningSong (10th August 2012), Mozart (11th November 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Neal (11th August 2012), noprophet (10th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), Pam (11th August 2012), penn (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Renne (14th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Seikou-Kishi (17th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), sigma6 (12th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), Snookie (4th September 2012), Spiral (13th August 2012), spiritwind (13th August 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), sygh (14th August 2012), tessie999 (10th August 2012), transitionalman (13th August 2012), ulli (10th August 2012), Vrilya (11th August 2012), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), WHOMADEGOD (14th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), Wookie (11th August 2012), write4change (11th August 2012)

  7. Link to Post #4
    Ireland Avalon Member Mulder's Avatar
    Join Date
    20th April 2010
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    1,050
    Thanks
    939
    Thanked 2,577 times in 818 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    But the problem is family members can die before before healing occurs. For example, my father died in the 1980s and my mother in the 2000s & no healing occurred. But now they've ascended, I hope past "grudges" no longer are a big part of their existance.
    “There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” -- Carl Jung

    "To see the farm is to leave the farm."

  8. The Following 30 Users Say Thank You to Mulder For This Post:

    aranuk (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), ceetee9 (22nd April 2018), CeltMan (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), Ewan (18th December 2023), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), ghostrider (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), palehorse (4th January 2022), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), ulli (10th August 2012), Vrilya (11th August 2012), WHOMADEGOD (14th August 2012), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  9. Link to Post #5
    United States Avalon Member truth4me's Avatar
    Join Date
    28th May 2010
    Location
    Northeast corner of Arkansas
    Age
    63
    Posts
    1,281
    Thanks
    2,698
    Thanked 5,289 times in 1,094 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    My father ,who I respect and still love, have had a falling out over my grandson and his great grandson. My grandson is bi-racial and to me it makes no difference in anyone's color. My grandson is a wonderful child full of fun and energy galore yet my father still clings to his 1960's past that has put a wedge between us. I will not put up with racism in any form yet, I stll respect and love my father . I have tried to "reach" my father but it won't work. So the best way for me is to stay away from my him. My grandson just like us all are members of the HUMAN race. Yet,I still need to make peace somehow with my father for he is getting up in years. I really don't know what to do.
    Last edited by truth4me; 10th August 2012 at 18:24.

  10. The Following 41 Users Say Thank You to truth4me For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), CeltMan (10th August 2012), Craig (15th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DebJoy (1st May 2017), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), Ewan (18th December 2023), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), Holly Lindin (11th August 2012), Hypnos (18th May 2013), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), penn (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), raregem (7th November 2015), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), transitionalman (13th August 2012), Vrilya (11th August 2012), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), write4change (5th September 2012)

  11. Link to Post #6
    Avalon Member SKAWF's Avatar
    Join Date
    7th January 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    732
    Thanks
    2,928
    Thanked 3,384 times in 633 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    i know that what you said is true bill.

    but sometimes... and as a metaphor

    rather than trying to fix something that is broken, or never worked in the first place....
    it .... sometimes.... is easier to throw a 6 and start again.
    when i went there nothing happened!, i was bored out of my mind..................in the Twilight Zone.

  12. The Following 22 Users Say Thank You to SKAWF For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), Debby (7th September 2012), DebJoy (1st May 2017), DNA (19th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), Gardener (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), Spiral (13th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  13. Link to Post #7
    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    7th February 2010
    Location
    Ecuador
    Posts
    34,268
    Thanks
    208,995
    Thanked 457,534 times in 32,788 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by Mulder (here)
    But the problem is family members can die before before healing occurs. For example, my father died in the 1980s and my mother in the 2000s & no healing occurred. But now they've ascended, I hope past "grudges" no longer are a big part of their existance.
    Two points -- not intending to be contradictory!

    1) Do try to heal the relationship before the other person dies. Even if you don't do it for yourself, do it for them.

    The only exception, I'd suggest, if this would genuinely injure yourself (E.g. if the other person is seriously toxic. Sometimes, of course, this is the case.)

    2) If you miss that boat (and there are many circumstances that can cause that to happen) -- it's not too late.

    There's a wide range of techniques for healing relationships with people who are no longer here -- even extending into distant, past lives from which the incidents still echo and resonate here and now. (This is part of what is sometimes known as karma, although I dislike and rarely use the term.)

    Quote Posted by pilotsimone (here)
    Healing the pain stemming from my family of origin caused a profound shift in me.

    This thread is super timely because the bulk of this just happened to me in July.
    Pilotsimone... Wow.
    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 10th August 2012 at 18:30.

  14. The Following 46 Users Say Thank You to Bill Ryan For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (11th August 2012), Brodie75 (10th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmody (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), Ewan (18th December 2023), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), ghostrider (11th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), karamba (17th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), meeradas (10th August 2012), modwiz (11th August 2012), Mulder (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Renne (14th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), sygh (14th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Vrilya (11th August 2012), Vrinda (16th December 2016), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), write4change (5th September 2012), Yoda (11th August 2012)

  15. Link to Post #8
    New Zealand Avalon Member etheric underground's Avatar
    Join Date
    16th July 2011
    Location
    Perth, Australia
    Age
    50
    Posts
    606
    Thanks
    1,498
    Thanked 2,918 times in 540 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    We hold on to silly things that mean nothing in the end, like they picked on me or I wasnt as loved as my brother and sister
    or why should I call they can call me (ego)...
    Bill you are so right, dont wait until it is too late. This life is short and those little things really dont mean that much.
    LOVE YOUR FAMILY for the good things ...LOVE YOUR FAMILY MORE for the bad.
    GOD BLESS YA SOCKS.

  16. The Following 25 Users Say Thank You to etheric underground For This Post:

    Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), Mulder (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Pam (11th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Vrilya (11th August 2012), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  17. Link to Post #9
    UK Avalon Member bogeyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th July 2012
    Location
    Norfolk UK
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,537
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked 7,908 times in 1,388 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I have not spoke to my father for over two years now, and the rest of the family well, that is a long story. I have taken note of this thread and I will ponder and reflect on what it is saying. I think personally too much water has gone under the bridge, but as they say its never too late.

  18. The Following 36 Users Say Thank You to bogeyman For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), Art (11th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmen (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), karamba (17th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), Mulder (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  19. Link to Post #10
    Great Britain Avalon Member seantimberwolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    23rd June 2011
    Location
    Midgard
    Age
    36
    Posts
    378
    Thanks
    356
    Thanked 1,914 times in 332 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I wished i got too know my father.
    He left when i was only a baby, and never tried to contact me.
    My mother wont speak of him, and i have no clues.

    My grandfather, he was my father figure, a strong man who taught me the importance of love and always smiled.

    I guess what im saying is i couldnot agree with bill more, we should cherise the ones we love.
    "And if one man could stand tall, There would be hope for us all, Somewhere in the spirit of man!"

  20. The Following 39 Users Say Thank You to seantimberwolf For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DNA (19th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), ghostrider (11th August 2012), Holly Lindin (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), kcbc2010 (10th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Seikou-Kishi (17th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), sygh (14th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), WhiteFeather (10th August 2012), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  21. Link to Post #11
    United States Avalon Member WhiteFeather's Avatar
    Join Date
    6th July 2011
    Location
    Grounded With Gaia
    Posts
    6,060
    Thanks
    39,262
    Thanked 36,971 times in 5,651 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Got the tears going slightly from that story Bill. Thanks for sharing that.

    Its never to late to forgive, Its never to late to say your sorry, Its never to late to let it go, Its never to late to say I love You, and just when you thought it was too late, you find Its never to late.

    As i was growing up in my teenage rebelious years me and my Dad were constantly butting heads. We didnt get along with each other during those adolescent stages. When i turned 18 my Dad was dying in the hospital from cancer, but before he died i had the chance to finally tell him I Love You, he responded I Love You too son. He passed on the next day.

    Its never too late.
    "Although I Live On This World, I Choose Not To Live In It"
    <:~W.F.~:>

    "The answer to every question can be found in nature, if one knows how to look and listen”
    Gwilda Wiyaka

    "Everything on the Earth has a purpose, Every disease a herb to cure it, and every person a mission. This is the Indian theory of existence".
    Mourning Dove Salish


  22. The Following 57 Users Say Thank You to WhiteFeather For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), Art (11th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmody (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Ceedub (11th August 2012), cheez_2806 (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DNA (19th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), Gardener (10th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), ghostrider (11th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), Jean-Luc (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), karamba (17th August 2012), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Lettherebelight (10th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), meat suit (10th August 2012), meeradas (11th August 2012), modwiz (11th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Nyce555 (14th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), penn (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Salamanda555 (14th August 2012), Seikou-Kishi (17th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), spiritwind (11th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), transitionalman (13th August 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  23. Link to Post #12
    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    6th February 2012
    Location
    Forest Dweller
    Language
    English
    Posts
    18,341
    Thanks
    127,398
    Thanked 168,300 times in 18,139 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    My father wasn’t a nice man, but in his later years, I saw how broken he was from arthritic pain and heart disease. In that instant, my heart opened and words just poured out. We were raised...his words, "Children are seen and not heard. Speak when spoken to." His favorite phrase to his five daughters of eight kids was, "Act like a woman think like a man." Here, let me say it for you..."Nuts, with a capital N."

    I told my Dad that when I look at my life in a linear time line, much more good happened than bad. I am who I am in part because of all that he taught. That in many respects, he was ahead of his time in teaching things that only sons were privy, to. I pointed out the time spent cooking, and baking together, and how to be graceful in stature.

    I told him that I loved him and forgave him. He choked a couple of times before his explanation came out. In a small voice he said, “Thank you. I was possessed back then.”

    For a nano-second, I thought that was lame, but I realized that for him to admit anything counter to pride and strength was big medicine. It was just what I needed to move forward for myself. Our life contract was completed on that day.

    A few years later, I was fortunate to be by his bedside when he crossed over. I saw with different eyes. Just before his passing, I understood that he was a warrior that signed up for a hard ride. My Dad honored his contract. He looked peaceful and innocent. A Beautiful Soul. The pain and wrinkles washed from his face in his last breaths. It was who he really was without the mask of this life. That was also the moment, I understood there’s no reason to fear death.
    Last edited by RunningDeer; 23rd August 2012 at 02:48.

  24. The Following 57 Users Say Thank You to RunningDeer For This Post:

    4evrneo (13th August 2012), Anka (25th November 2019), aranuk (10th August 2012), AriG (27th September 2012), bennycog (12th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmen (10th August 2012), Carmody (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Ceedub (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), Craig (15th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DebJoy (1st May 2017), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), GloriousPoetry (6th November 2013), Hervé (10th August 2012), Hypnos (18th May 2013), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), Jules (7th November 2015), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), ljwheat (10th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), NancyV (10th August 2012), Neal (11th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), penn (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), raregem (7th November 2015), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Rocky_Shorz (15th August 2012), Seikou-Kishi (17th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), skamandar (11th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), Snookie (4th September 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), transitionalman (13th August 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  25. Link to Post #13
    United States Honored, Retired Member. Sierra passed in April 2021.
    Join Date
    27th January 2011
    Age
    75
    Posts
    9,452
    Thanks
    64,848
    Thanked 29,462 times in 5,424 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I haven't written about this yet, but I did a between lives regression this last spring, and who but showed up entirely unexpectedly (in the healing room), my violent, (electroshocked in the Naval Air force during WWII), and suicided father.

    He was nothing like he was on earth. For heaven's sake, he was wearing a white shirt, and black slacks. And bare feet. He was polite. He knocked first, and ASKED if he could come into the healing room. And he let me drive the conversation.

    Sierra

  26. The Following 40 Users Say Thank You to Sierra For This Post:

    aranuk (10th August 2012), astrid (11th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), Carmen (10th August 2012), Carmody (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (10th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DebJoy (1st May 2017), etheric underground (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), Jean-Luc (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), Neal (11th August 2012), penn (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), raregem (7th November 2015), Reirrac (13th August 2012), Renne (15th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), StephenW11UK (10th August 2012), transitionalman (13th August 2012), Wind (11th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012)

  27. Link to Post #14
    Unsubscribed
    Join Date
    7th December 2010
    Location
    Blaine, Tennessee
    Age
    57
    Posts
    3,386
    Thanks
    21,152
    Thanked 26,963 times in 3,187 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Good idea for a thread Bill, this is the kind of hard life lesson that won't be learned in school, save maybe for a hint or two of it on the playground at recess.

    Here's an uncomfortable question for an uncomfortable subject matter. I don't know about anyone else, but over time I get to feeling about some forum members like they are family, to varying degrees, and the forum being a sort of weird home away from home. That being said, does this common sense recipe for patching things up with family, also apply when close members on a tight knit forum have them a good public go at it, and become estranged?

    I didn't speak much to my mom the last couple of years before she died, and looking back it was over really petty and stupid s**t, on both sides. But just as fate would have it, I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, just hours before she died unexpectadly. I'm still very thankful that was our last interaction on this plane.

    Cheers,
    Fred
    Last edited by Fred Steeves; 10th August 2012 at 20:21.

  28. Link to Post #15
    UK Avalon Member bogeyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th July 2012
    Location
    Norfolk UK
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,537
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked 7,908 times in 1,388 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Yes that true Fred, I'm reluctant to say too much about family matters. But from my experience I just hope my family isn't the norm, but then what is normal? I could right a book about my family and experiences. But the past is the past..I hope.

  29. The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to bogeyman For This Post:

    Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), crested-duck (11th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Spiral (13th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Woody (10th August 2012)

  30. Link to Post #16
    Denmark Avalon Member
    Join Date
    17th June 2011
    Posts
    368
    Thanks
    607
    Thanked 1,455 times in 314 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I have no clear memory of how many times I´ve tried to reconnect to my parents. Long periods of no contact followed by attempts (from my part) to re-unite. The healing, soothing warmth of being accepted or communing with them never materialized. Every time we just fell back into the old, destructive roles. After a lifetime of frustrated longing and reaching out, I´ve finally
    given up. And feel in a sense relieved by that.

    My mother once told me that she got pregnant with me, because that day she didn´t care to use contraception. Wonderful to know that you´re a result of your mothers sloth, and not because she dearly wanted a child.(Irony). And through my childhood she never missed an opportunity to let me know what a burden I was on her, and that I had to compensate for this crime of being born. Furthermore the maternal affection and tender loving care that she was unable to give me, she on the other hand demanded from me.Her needs were the only needs that really counted. So from appr. 2 years old she engaged me in giving her massages, and from 4-5 years of age she used me as her personal advisor and confidant letting me in on all her marital problems. From the same age she started to introduce me to alcohol.
    My father had just as little to give, and hit me hard every time I as a toddler went near him.

    I´m sorry to say that the words "mother" and "father" mean very little to me. Very little positive that is. It has taken me a long time to reconcile myself with the fact that I´m better off
    without these people.

    Terrible to say, but I feel nothing for them, or people in general. I´ve tried, but every time I´ve opened myself to others, I end up getting used and abused.

    On the other hand I love nature and animals deeply.

    I´ve heard this story about "the wounded healer" many times. Lastly from the psychic Carol Clarke who predicted a rather amazing future for me in this respect starting from the end of 2012.
    Hmm...I very much want it to be true, but find it rather inconceivable that I´ll get from zero to 100 in a few months time. Things being like they are now...but one can always hope for a miracle...

    At least it´s always something to hear how well things are going for other people socially. Even though it´s a bit like enjoying the stories of what gorgeous dinners others are having, while you yourself are starving to death.

    I guess this ended up sounding way too bitter. Sorry about spoiling "the warm fuzzies" of this thread. I´m not actually bitter, just empty. And clueless...

  31. The Following 43 Users Say Thank You to delfine For This Post:

    Anka (25th November 2019), Bhusunda (12th August 2012), Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), Craig (15th August 2012), crested-duck (11th August 2012), Deega (12th August 2012), DNA (19th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), GCS1103 (11th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), Holly Lindin (11th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (12th August 2012), MargueriteBee (9th December 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marin (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), meeradas (11th August 2012), Neal (11th August 2012), Ol' Roy (11th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), raregem (7th November 2015), Reirrac (13th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), Spiral (13th August 2012), swoods_blue (27th November 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), ulli (10th August 2012), Woody (10th August 2012), wynderer (10th August 2012)

  32. Link to Post #17
    Spain Avalon Member Bing Lalo's Avatar
    Join Date
    1st August 2012
    Location
    Altea (Alicante)
    Age
    52
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 156 times in 16 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I been with out talk with my dad for 2 years, some times i send an email. He is dificult, not only with me, also with my mom and sister, my mom and dad live in diferent houses. I guess time will help to put things in order, my hand will be open allways no matter what he does, but is his decision right now. I think he is shame of what he did, and now he needs time to come back home. In my opinon is a question of the EGO, by the moment his ego and his shame is more powerfull than his love, he is lost and do not want to recive help from us. But any way the time will help, in this life or in the next one. I desire to him the best and my heart is full of love, what he did is not important, I not judge, i just give my hand of love to him, but I guess he needs more time to fight with his ego and shame.

  33. The Following 26 Users Say Thank You to Bing Lalo For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (11th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), DoubleHelix (10th August 2012), Fred Steeves (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (17th August 2012), Marie (11th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (10th August 2012), SKAWF (10th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Woody (10th August 2012)

  34. Link to Post #18
    UK Avalon Member bogeyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th July 2012
    Location
    Norfolk UK
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,537
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked 7,908 times in 1,388 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I still have flashbacks about what happened. It takes time and you have to face the experiences you when through, but for some these events are too much and when nothing can do done until they are ready. I am surprised I have recovered, but it did take 15 years though.
    Last edited by bogeyman; 10th August 2012 at 22:21.

  35. The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to bogeyman For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (10th August 2012), Billy (11th August 2012), bluestflame (12th August 2012), Caren (10th August 2012), CdnSirian (11th August 2012), Christine (10th August 2012), crested-duck (11th August 2012), David Trd1 (11th August 2012), EsmaEverheart (10th August 2012), Free Will (13th August 2012), Hervé (10th August 2012), jessamy99 (11th August 2012), jjjones (10th August 2012), kanishk (3rd March 2013), Knowrainknowrainbows! (11th August 2012), Limor Wolf (11th August 2012), M6* (17th August 2012), Marsila (10th August 2012), pilotsimone (10th August 2012), RunningDeer (10th August 2012), Sierra (11th August 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Woody (10th August 2012)

  36. Link to Post #19
    United States Unsubscribed wynderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    28th June 2010
    Location
    FingerLakes USA
    Age
    76
    Posts
    1,912
    Thanks
    1,822
    Thanked 3,989 times in 1,133 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    some synchronicity w/the timing of this thread of Bill's & my own life

    for reasons i do not wish to publickly share, i have been estranged from my bio family for close to 15 yrs -- the only one i have any contact with is a brother, who called me after his son died from a heroin overdose -- my own son had died some yrs earlier

    just recently we have been talking via phone a lot, & really connecting -- like, i learned that he has been able to read others' minds all his life -- apparently we share the Draco bloodline DNA

    i felt very sad after our first good talk, thinking, 'We could have been good friends if our family had not been so insane' [4 tested 'genius' kids by IQ standards, w/ no parental guidance, to put it mildly]

    but -- better late than never

    & Bill -- i don't know if you started this thread from intuition or what -- i don't like to be grim, but what i felt/am feeling w/this gift of honest & real communication w/my brother -- i see mass deaths coming [i try not to] -- & i think that those of us who have tried our best to live by & for Love are being guided to make our peace w/all we can before the timelines diverge

    i'll bet there are other Avalonians who grok this

    wyn

  37. Link to Post #20
    United States Unsubscribed wynderer's Avatar
    Join Date
    28th June 2010
    Location
    FingerLakes USA
    Age
    76
    Posts
    1,912
    Thanks
    1,822
    Thanked 3,989 times in 1,133 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Mods/Admins -- pls consolidate my posts if you wish

    Hi Fred -- a bit off topic but hope OK w/Bill -- when i was thinking about getting over my sulks & rejoining Avalon -- cruising the forum as a guest -- when i saw your photo, i felt/thought --'Well, here's another who feels like family ' --

    wyn

    Quote Posted by Fred Steeves (here)
    Good idea for a thread Bill, this is the kind of hard life lesson that won't be learned in school, save maybe for a hint or two of it on the playground at recess.

    Here's an uncomfortable question for an uncomfortable subject matter. I don't know about anyone else, but over time I get to feeling about some forum members like they are family, to varying degrees, and the forum being a sort of weird home away from home. That being said, does this common sense recipe for patching things up with family, also apply when close members on a tight knit forum have them a good public go at it, and become estranged?

    I didn't speak much to my mom the last couple of years before she died, and looking back it was over really petty and stupid s**t, on both sides. But just as fate would have it, I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, just hours before she died unexpectadly. I'm still very thankful that was our last interaction on this plane.

    Cheers,
    Fred
    Last edited by wynderer; 10th August 2012 at 22:00.

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 8 1 8 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts