+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst 1 6 8 LastLast
Results 101 to 120 of 154

Thread: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

  1. Link to Post #101
    Australia Avalon Member bluestflame's Avatar
    Join Date
    21st April 2010
    Location
    a spark
    Age
    52
    Posts
    2,819
    Thanks
    16,583
    Thanked 8,500 times in 1,808 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    yes sometimes to do the energy work first ,. to "work the space" between you first , then the words will come more easily

  2. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to bluestflame For This Post:

    Bhusunda (14th August 2012), Bill Ryan (15th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Free Will (14th August 2012), jessamy99 (14th August 2012), Meesh (14th August 2012), nomadguy (15th August 2012), pilotsimone (15th August 2012), RunningDeer (14th August 2012), sandy (14th August 2012), Sierra (15th August 2012), Woody (14th August 2012)

  3. Link to Post #102
    UK Avalon Member WHOMADEGOD's Avatar
    Join Date
    23rd January 2012
    Location
    Triangulate my cell phone!
    Age
    50
    Posts
    294
    Thanks
    2,628
    Thanked 1,777 times in 257 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Thanks Bill, wonderful post!

    A week and a half ago I had the opportunity to get my younger brother alone as I rarely see him amymore, and I looked him squarely in the eyes and apologised for all the hurt I had caused him over the course of our lives and that I loved him.

    We both hugged and shed a tear and no more neede to be said.

    Sometimes even when we still communicate regularly, we still need to find the courage to heal the hurt.

    This was incredibly cathartic and surprisingly easy once I had actually said it, and to think I had been wanting to say it for years, such a fool....

    Blessings

    Mark

  4. The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to WHOMADEGOD For This Post:

    Bhusunda (14th August 2012), Bill Ryan (15th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (15th August 2012), Free Will (14th August 2012), karamba (26th August 2012), Limor Wolf (16th August 2012), Meesh (14th August 2012), nomadguy (15th August 2012), pilotsimone (15th August 2012), Rocky_Shorz (15th August 2012), Rosco1 (14th August 2012), RunningDeer (14th August 2012), sandy (17th August 2012), Sierra (15th August 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), Woody (14th August 2012)

  5. Link to Post #103
    Canada Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    25th March 2012
    Location
    in my heart
    Posts
    44
    Thanks
    870
    Thanked 393 times in 40 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Holy!! Thank you WCBD so very much, and Christine, and all...GULP.

    Thank you everyone for adding your voice and or presence here on this thread, and thank you Bill for Intuiting it and holding the space just so ..

    Each contribution is of great value and I certainly find courage to be seriously contagious and I love to witness it, even if it’s born from heart wrenching situations, and because of that. Courage makes me want to be courageous.

    Sorry about my strange writing etc..when I’m out of sorts I have a hard time with sentences and stuff like that..with quoting properly, responding etc..anyway..

    I have recently passed through the anniversary date of my adoptive fathers death, he passed away not many years ago.

    To preserve my already not well at the time, well being, i did not, could not, attend his funeral. Though I had just come to forgive him in my heart, a miracle. I would have loved to gather with safe people for this, I had none, so..i gathered myself the best I could, and still am.

    This forgiveness of my fathers abuses happened after much work and intention for many years (while having next to no contact), and became a really true and palpable feeling in my heart..practically in synchronicity with when he died most suddenly.. and before I had the chance to communicate with him from my new found compassion for him (and still fear)..i had only seen him a very few strained and painful times in 20 years, and not very recently before he passed..

    I could not , can not be near the rest of my family..(yet..?.)..nor do they welcome me. It’s ok. Well, it doesn’t always feel ok at all actually, but still, it is. It’s ok. It has to be the way it is i suppose.

    And so I move more or less forward day by day with my desires to reach total forgiveness with the rest of them, and with myself. I am not sure if I will physically re-connect with any of them again. My level of alienation since my fathers transition has grown totally..

    I expect to forgive everyone, i'm on it..and i expect miracles.. they do happen..

    Miracles happen!

    Thank you for hearing me.

  6. The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to Free Will For This Post:

    Bhusunda (15th August 2012), Bill Ryan (15th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (15th August 2012), Craig (15th August 2012), Flash (18th August 2012), Limor Wolf (16th August 2012), Meesh (15th August 2012), nomadguy (15th August 2012), pilotsimone (15th August 2012), Rocky_Shorz (15th August 2012), RunningDeer (15th August 2012), sandy (17th August 2012), Sierra (15th August 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), spiritwind (18th August 2012), WHOMADEGOD (15th August 2012), Woody (15th August 2012)

  7. Link to Post #104
    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    6th February 2012
    Location
    Forest Dweller
    Language
    English
    Posts
    18,341
    Thanks
    127,398
    Thanked 168,300 times in 18,139 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by Free Will (here)
    Holy!! Thank you WCBD so very much, and Christine, and all...GULP.

    And so I move more or less forward day by day with my desires to reach total forgiveness with the rest of them, and with myself. I am not sure if I will physically re-connect with any of them again. My level of alienation since my fathers transition has grown totally..

    I expect to forgive everyone, i'm on it..and i expect miracles.. they do happen..

    Miracles happen!

    Thank you for hearing me.
    Quote “And so I move more or less forward day by day with my desires to reach total forgiveness with the rest of them, and with myself.”
    Hi Free Will,

    Just popped in to thank you for sharing.

    Forgive yourself. Good goal. Attainable goal even without a miracle. xo

    PS In my world, miracles happen all the time. I don't even call them miracles any more. Tee.

    .................................Going, going, gone... .................................
    Last edited by RunningDeer; 15th August 2012 at 00:50.

  8. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to RunningDeer For This Post:

    Bhusunda (15th August 2012), Bill Ryan (15th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (15th August 2012), Free Will (17th August 2012), Limor Wolf (16th August 2012), Meesh (15th August 2012), nomadguy (15th August 2012), pilotsimone (15th August 2012), sandy (17th August 2012), Sierra (15th August 2012), WHOMADEGOD (15th August 2012), Woody (15th August 2012)

  9. Link to Post #105
    Australia Avalon Member Craig's Avatar
    Join Date
    26th May 2010
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    605
    Thanks
    2,728
    Thanked 2,948 times in 536 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I don't have anything to contribute to this amazing thread, but I just have to say thank you to all posters, thank you for your courage and strength, and thank you for signing up for such a journey, you have my utmost respect. I am not much of an emotional person but I want you to know if you need a hug you have one from me whenever and whereever it is needed. When I look at my daughter even when she is trying my patience I still have that love that should be mandatory to all children from their parents and it pains me to know that there are those out there that haven't experienced it.

    For those that have broken free and moved on you are far stronger than I. Again thank you so much you have left a mark with me and for that I am thankful.

  10. The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to Craig For This Post:

    Bhusunda (15th August 2012), Bill Ryan (17th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (15th August 2012), Flash (18th August 2012), Free Will (17th August 2012), Limor Wolf (16th August 2012), Meesh (15th August 2012), pilotsimone (15th August 2012), Rocky_Shorz (15th August 2012), RunningDeer (15th August 2012), sandy (17th August 2012), Sierra (15th August 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), spiritwind (6th September 2012), swoods_blue (27th November 2012), WHOMADEGOD (15th August 2012), Woody (15th August 2012)

  11. Link to Post #106
    United States Unsubscribed
    Join Date
    15th March 2010
    Posts
    10,068
    Thanks
    12,891
    Thanked 32,308 times in 7,756 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    hey Mods, thanks for not Free'n Will

    I think he understands already what an incredible group he has become a part of...

    sure we have our moments where best friends are disagreeing on subjects, but then a thread like this happens, and you can just see the glow from everyone involved...

    makes me proud to be part of this family...

    and it all started with a hat...

  12. Link to Post #107
    United States Unsubscribed
    Join Date
    11th September 2011
    Location
    earth * planet Hell hole without a Heart. Move the H to the end and get planet without H-eart.Earth
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 788 times in 173 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by Limor (here)

    As a child, I was convinced as I could be, that being born to this family is an unexplained mistake, all five family members are greatly different from one another, in characteristics, in expressivness and in vibrations, and I did not feel that I belonged there. Both my parents, so cought up with their own demons, scratches, irritations, childhood traumas (My mother, a holocaust survivor) and are unconsciousness beings, could not understand a sensitive child. The set was one of a constant anger, disrespect, extreme ego, unfaithfulness, guilt accusations and very low vibration. There was nowhere to run... The one word that I clearly remember that was rolling in my head was ' harmony', at age 8-9 I don't quite know how I was familiar with this word, but i desperately needed it.
    Hi Limor -
    I wanted to respond to your message. I am ALSO from a family of holocaust survivors. My grandma and grandpa were in Aushwitz and later survived and had my mom. I grew up with the guilt of knowing that my mom's brothers died in the gas chambers and that was used to propagandize me into the religious thing.
    My parents could NOT understand my "highly sensitive personality". And they were told it was a disorder that was a disease. My mom used to read books on the highly sensitive person.

    I suffered much grief as a child and still do from the energy that they beamed at me. I would beg and plead with my mom and dad to please stop acting the way they were to me - angry, disapproving, hateful. I now call it "reptilian energy". i for the life of me have tried to figure out how and why i was born to holocaust survivor family, that they themselves still have that low vibrational energy that caused the holocaust to happen in the first place. I always say, the holocaust could not have happened if the everyday german civilians didn't go along with it.

    I was very confused growing up as my parents were beaming so much hate towards me and i felt like i was dying inside. My heart couldn't take it and i felt suicidal since a teenager because of them. I know i'm an Indigo and i am very sensitive to energy and i can feel thoughts and feelings of others. I have all the indigo characteristics..including standing up to those who do wrong..including my family or anyone. I am a warrior, but my heart bleeds from the cruelty and injustice in this world.

    When i woke up several years ago i got very ill while trying to detoxify my body of all the crap that we are exposed to. I was asleep until age 36. Then i was kicked in the Arse to wake up. Got very ill and almost died from respiratory system becoming paralyzed. i had almost died but found someone in Los Angeles that saved my life, a whistleblower who diagnosed me as having those fibers from the chemtrails stuck in my lungs and throat. I spent a year hovering on death. During that time, i called my mom and my brothers for support. i told them about the chemtrails and the illuminati. The same family who propagandized me about the holocaust and judiasm..turned their back on me and poo pood me as if i was nuts.

    I was hovering close to death many nights praying for my family to wake up and be there for me. I would call me mom and she would get angry at me and say as i suffocated in an angry sadistic voice.."there are happy people out there, why can't you be happy"..as i struggled to breath from these chemtrail fibers that had infiltrated and was paralyzing my breathing. I have had to stay with her as i have had a hard time recovering, and it's almost as if she's trying to kill me with cruelty. I have been very ill for the past five years, as the chemtrail fibers have been hard to detox even with thousands of dollars of equipment. I ask my mom how come my brothers could turn their backs on me and never respond to my emails or call me in five years after i tried to send them videos about chemtrails etc. She says "well, they have other things to worry about". i say, "when the govt tries to kill your family member, you don't turn your back, that's what they did in Germany". And my mom just stands there like a zombie without saying anything. I have had many arguments with her, how can she pretend like nothing is going on and refuse to discuss anything like the chemtrails etc, when i am seriously injured. Everytime i tried to bring it up she turns into a zombie that cannot talk and sometimes if she's in a lying position she falls asleep as i'm begging her to wake up. It's like she's possessed like a zombie demon.

    I don't get it. My mom spent her time getting her apartment redecorated as i was across the country suffocating from the chemtrail poisons that almost killed me and to this day has been sickening me five years later. My mom says because she gave me money to live then that enough. She doesn't understand that her Apathy is killing me inside. to know that someone could harm me and no one cares, the doctor's turn on you, society turns on you. Just like in Nazi Germany with my family that were murdered. My own family has the same apathy.

    I call my mom the "nazi" woman and tell her that she's the same person that turned on the people in nazi germany. I tell her her energy is a reincarnated "nazi" soldier that was born into the family that he (my mom has male energy) destroyed in the holocaust. And i'm a sensitive indigo and it's almost as if she's possessed by a reptilian demon who's trying to energetically kill me. My brothers never responded to any of my emails after five years..showing them what's going on in the world.

    The same family that were born to holocaust survivors would do the same thing as the German's and turn on their own family member. My mom says that she did not turn on me b/c she gave me money, but i tell her money is not love. Love is an energy, and i never felt any of that energy from anyone in my family. My mom says well i gave you money (since i have been sick) and i cannot get her to understand that her Apathy about what i have been going through is what is killing me. And that it doesn't matter if she give me money, b/c my heart is breaking inside and i haven't been able to recover my health because of my poor immune system combined with the NWO poisons that i was exposed to somehow. My mom is dissapointed that i'm 41 and never been married, it doesn't matter if i've been ill for five years fighting for my life b/c of this intentional poisoning. I'm a dissapointment and therefore she doesn't show any energetic love b/c i have not followed her blueprint and society's blueprint. And i can feel that energy very clearly.

    I have had much relief from my family grief from the knowledge i gained on this website. Bill and Kerry have changed my life. I now know that those of use who are awake must be on a soul level from higher dimensional planets, as those that are asleep are so radically different in their hearts and souls. It has given me an answer to the life long question of why why why? Why am i so sensitive when others are not. Why was i born to holocaust survivors that act in the same abrasive, non caring manner (although they would never physically hurt someone) they would turn their backs as others suffered. After reading Edgar Caycee's work i think sometimes those who do wrong (nazi's) are born into what they hated (a jew). I have a strong feeling that i was born to a mom who was a male nazi in her past life ..i feel the energy of this very strongly. I am an indigo and my work on this planet that i cannot mention on this thread, has been stalled due to her reptilian energy..but it has not stopped me. And i believe this is why i was born to this person..or why a reptilian energy has taken over her and my father's body. I have worked with a whistleblower who has had several assassination attempts on his life, and his family situation with his living siblings is the same - some reptilian energy has taken over to try to impede his work. I don't really know this for certain..but it's one of the thoughts that i have. Who really knows for sure.

    But the only thing that has kept me going is the knowledge of all this wonderful blissful information that the whistleblowers like Bob Dean and the rest put out. That we are here only temporarily (THANK G-D!!!!!). And that there are trillions of other places in the multiverse to live including the Pleiades that have higher sensitive beings..and the messages from Andromeda too! I feel so blissful knowing that maybe maybe some of us are from there. and here lies the reptilian brained species and someday i can go home. My only job now is to figure out how to truly forgive those family members that hurt my heart so bad. I can't do it, but i know know i need to do it soon.

    Thanks bill for this thread. Seeing that so many people have problems with their families makes me not feel so alone. If other people can survive the heartbreak of this, then so can i. Even though sometimes the pain of this is so excruciating that i want to go home asap. I still long for the days when i can live in a world where i'm surrounded by sensitives. I actually would spend many nights outside walking my dog, begging to know that the andromedans and pleiadians are really here. And then the orbs started appearing regulary. Shooting flashes of lights in the sky, and it was so exciting. Liquid light streaming downward almost on top of my apartment building. One afternoon a big orb turned bright pink and flashed itself in front of me and my clueless family. My family turned away and didn't even look as i was happily trying to get them to see it. They are so 3D. Another night a big green and orange fire ball fell from the sky, and then the next day i went outside and asked what i saw the night before, and another ball of light fell from the sky. Now that i have had to stay with my mom due to being ill and not having money. They have not been showing up for months, i assume due to the low vibration. But actually begging for months to see them, and then having them show up regularly does give me some hope that i can return to a better place and they are here watching and listening and there truly is a world out there with the love and caring that will heal our hearts and souls someday.
    i

  13. Link to Post #108
    Retired
    Join Date
    7th December 2010
    Location
    Beyond
    Age
    50
    Posts
    3,689
    Thanks
    34,680
    Thanked 27,050 times in 3,027 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Hi Vilcabamba ~

    The psych of a 'Holocaust survivor' family member is known only to those that are familiar with this kind of 'atmosphere', or probably to all those that somehow were touched by such great atrocities. it is so tragic, that our world has to offer an incredible varied menu of horrors...

    I so completely understand what you have been through as a 'sensitive' child ,I feel you.. it is rather interesting that those great difficulties that people experience, not necessarily turn them into a more sensitive and empathetic beings, first of all to themselvs and then to to their surroundings, let alone their own children. sometimes they become hardened and kind of 'seal' their heart all the more strongly. and you, vilcabamba, deserved to be understood. there is nothing more precious than our souls. everyone's. I feel comradeship and completely identify with you and your description of yourself. I send you my love and any healing energies I am able to transmit. what a challenging life lessons you chose for yourself.

    Truth can be difficult for most people to hear, and it is not always finding the compassion and love that is the most 'logic' reaction. it is rather challanging to put some facts infront of people's faces (yes, family included) I am sure you understand it very well yourself, people evolve at different stages and some do not go through the same accelerated development as you are, they just kind of 'stay put'.

    All my life I had clues that something deep is happening, and my feelings that something is gravely wrong with this world proved to be true, and so much more. at the age of 25 I suffered from an enormously severe depression that lasted more than two years, and I felt basically dead inside, I was walking and 'living' but I felt I have nothing more to do here. Threre was no point or meaning... I was completely alone, and love was absent. prior to that I had a fated love relationship with another 'indigo' being, a brilliant person and it was all accompanied with many synchronicities... when it broke and I continued my way, I could feel that there was not enough love in this wold. My family didn't recognized me, or my situation, each one had their own problems and their own lives to deal with and I have refrained from seeking help, two years of excruciating agony. All the while I had those who watched me from other realms and other galaxies... who patiently waited for me to come out on the other side. Then, my wake up call began. When I reflect on that period of time, I am often thinking about it as if I was being buried underground alive. I was left with the inability to have children and with health issues that are still challenging to me today, I litteraly shut down my body, BUT, something grand has happened! I started being wake up at night at round hours a couple of times every night, and some strange things started happening , I began an incredible journey where I was contacted by 'friends' from other places, and my 'teaching' has began. My world has turned upside down. needless to say that stories like this are happening all over the world. From feeling as if there is no meaning to life, I found out that there is nothing but meaning to our life, on every single moment .

    So, I deeply connect with your own 'story', vilcabamba, (because, this is all that it is, our human story for this time: ), and I ask you to please not let your mother's "'apathy" (probably 'an inability') to kill you from the inside.You are simply 'wired' differently than her, that is all. Try and fill yourself with good energies from other places and enjoy the good company of people you meet on your way (hey, don't forget we are here, all supporting each other) and give up the desire or need to get this from those who gave birth to you, life does not necessarily work this way.
    Both you and I knew it well before we got here, nothing was planned without our consent, and in fact, we ourselves have a shared agreement with our family members, so that the show can take place...

    Having a forgiveness in our heart and understanding the wounded souls (and all of us are) those of us who need some recognition and those of us who can not really provide it, is the ultimate lesson that life on earth can ofer, and it is the beginning of the end of this movie

    You can cut the core of your emotional dependency on your family, but do not cut the core with your family. As Bill stated it and many Avalon members with similiar experiences have suggested, there is a different perspective that can be taken at things and it is most valuable, especially when considering what we know today of how our world is constructed and how our souls 'operate', so, it is really best to adopt the GRANDER perspective of things.

    About sensitivity - In her reading, Carol Clarke said to me: " you are a very very sensitive person" , she emphasized it five more times. mind you, I can be very 'insensitive' at times ... but less often than I used to.. of course, what she meant was the kind of sensitivity where I can deeply feel other people, where I am able to tune to the earth rythm, she worded it - " you have such an x-ray eyes and an accute psychic sensetivity, and you have the ability to feel things from other people, even if they are not saying anything to you".

    This is the gift and the curse of being an empath, every feeling is more heightened, and it is easy to often feel un-energized with everything that is going on. Carol advised me to keep this refined energy and not let anyone drain it.

    So, like myself, this is your responsibility as well.


    Keep standing up to those who do wrong, there are many of us here that will gladly join you, since we, the same as you- will not have it ! but, keep having the faith and the light in your heart, feel the connectedness of like minded in this world, a significant representation is present here in Avalon, and know that there is a purpose for it all.



    Love and good energies to you,

    ~^&*~^&*

    Limor
    Last edited by Limor Wolf; 17th August 2012 at 06:31.

  14. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Limor Wolf For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (17th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (17th August 2012), DebJoy (1st May 2017), Free Will (17th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (17th August 2012), sandy (17th August 2012), Sierra (19th August 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), william r sanford72 (23rd June 2013), Woody (17th August 2012)

  15. Link to Post #109
    UK Avalon Member bogeyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th July 2012
    Location
    Norfolk UK
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,537
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked 7,908 times in 1,388 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    On important point, trust, as you go through the events and try to heal, is a massive problem. Learning to trust people after you have come out of the other side of these traumatic is very difficult, it takes time, and mistakes will happen and it may be a step back from making progress, but trust must be earned. Do not be scared to trust people, not every one is the same. Use your experiences as a learning curve, in time trust can be something you have in people. You can be frighten to be hurt again, or place yourself in unfamiliar situations, and this may prevent you finding people you can associate with and trust. I found nature a great help and healer, and going to new places and new events.

  16. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to bogeyman For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (20th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Christine (19th August 2012), Free Will (17th August 2012), Limor Wolf (18th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (17th August 2012), sandy (18th August 2012), Sierra (19th August 2012), Woody (17th August 2012)

  17. Link to Post #110
    Avalon Member nomadguy's Avatar
    Join Date
    28th July 2010
    Location
    Time Space
    Age
    44
    Posts
    1,102
    Thanks
    3,415
    Thanked 2,951 times in 812 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by bogeyman (here)
    On important point, trust, as you go through the events and try to heal, is a massive problem. Learning to trust people after you have come out of the other side of these traumatic is very difficult, it takes time, and mistakes will happen and it may be a step back from making progress, but trust must be earned. Do not be scared to trust people, not every one is the same. Use your experiences as a learning curve, in time trust can be something you have in people. You can be frighten to be hurt again, or place yourself in unfamiliar situations, and this may prevent you finding people you can associate with and trust. I found nature a great help and healer, and going to new places and new events.
    very good point, and I would like to add that the first step might be to trust oneself.

    (love your quote by the way!) "Water which is too pure has no fish - Ts'ai Ken T'an"
    Why not now?

  18. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to nomadguy For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (20th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Free Will (18th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (18th August 2012), sandy (18th August 2012), Sierra (19th August 2012), Woody (18th August 2012)

  19. Link to Post #111
    Avalon Member grannyfranny100's Avatar
    Join Date
    20th April 2010
    Location
    Bay City, MI
    Posts
    1,058
    Thanks
    2,859
    Thanked 3,844 times in 876 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Our family is widely spread and keep in touch by email and yearly birthday calls now that our parents are long gone. Recently they flew in to assist me with moving, surgery and smoking cessation. In retrospect I wish I had declined their offer. This became a nightmare. I learned a lot about what they have become spiritually, their viewpoints and would just as soon keep a more superficial relationship. I am not sure family healing reunions must be a love fest.

  20. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to grannyfranny100 For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (20th August 2012), bogeyman (19th August 2012), CdnSirian (19th August 2012), Free Will (19th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (19th August 2012), sandy (21st August 2012), Sierra (19th August 2012), spiritwind (20th August 2012), Woody (20th August 2012)

  21. Link to Post #112
    Avalon Member Kari Lynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    26th March 2010
    Posts
    900
    Thanks
    88
    Thanked 1,855 times in 566 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread. The joy of seeing relationships of friends, family and loved ones rectified.
    However, I would for those who have experiences like I do, say to those who can not rectify a relationship, don't tear yourself up over it. As my dad would say, it takes two. And if the other person is not willing to rectify the situation, then there is nothing you can do. Maybe just dust your feet off as you leave, as the bible says to do.
    Forgive them if you can, and leave your conscious clear. Lift your burdens.
    My husband's grandmother was never accepting of me. I found out she wasn't accepting of any of the women who married the men of her family.
    Calling us women, whores, tramps, etc...
    To me, to my face, she told me and hubby both that our children were not my husbands offspring. I never argued, just went home hurt and crying that she would accuse me of something so horrid.
    When my youngest was born. 2 weeks old.
    We were just coming home from a family reunion, of which she could not attend, because she was in the hospital. So my husband pulls into the hospital on the way home to talk to her and show off the new baby boy. I didn't know it at the time, but she lay on her death bed. She was dying of cancer.
    My husband asked her, "Does he look like me?"
    and she said "No! He's not a -----" (my husband's last name)
    So no matter how hard I tried, being nice, respectful to her, she always found ways to cut me down, embarrass me, and belittle me, even on her death bed.
    I tried. I tried my best. That's all I can do.
    I like to think she's in heaven now, where all things will become known. And that she'd know how bad she hurt me, and the truth that I had never cheated on my husband. It's all I can hope for. That she knows now.

  22. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Kari Lynn For This Post:

    Bill Ryan (20th August 2012), CdnSirian (21st August 2012), exponentialist (20th August 2012), Free Will (20th August 2012), Limor Wolf (23rd August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (20th August 2012), sandy (21st August 2012), Sierra (21st August 2012), spiritwind (20th August 2012), ulli (20th August 2012), Woody (20th August 2012)

  23. Link to Post #113
    Avalon Member
    Join Date
    3rd January 2011
    Posts
    86
    Thanks
    70
    Thanked 142 times in 51 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by delfine (here)

    Lastly from the psychic Carol Clarke who predicted a rather amazing future for me in this respect starting from the end of 2012.
    Hmm...I very much want it to be true, but find it rather inconceivable that I´ll get from zero to 100 in a few months time. Things being like they are now...but one can always hope for a miracle...
    Delfine-
    Any time you see someone go from zero to 100, know that a lot of quiet and, apparently, unrewarded work, precedes it.

    Best-

  24. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to webyourstuff For This Post:

    CdnSirian (21st August 2012), Free Will (26th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), RunningDeer (21st August 2012), sandy (21st August 2012), Sierra (21st August 2012)

  25. Link to Post #114
    UK Avalon Member bogeyman's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th July 2012
    Location
    Norfolk UK
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,537
    Thanks
    620
    Thanked 7,908 times in 1,388 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    In my personal experience, many memories of the past are "dreams like", and vague, but sometimes, the emotions are present, but unsure whether they are related to the events. I find it difficult to give specific emotions to certain events that happened. There are many parts of my childhood which are blank, maybe my mind shut these out for survival purposes. I was close to committing suicide, and I believe if there was an easy way out I might of done so. If it wasn't because of my love of nature and the usual events that occurred to me, and my understanding to some degree on the larger scheme of things, I don not believe I would of made it.

  26. The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to bogeyman For This Post:

    CdnSirian (27th August 2012), Free Will (26th August 2012), Limor Wolf (23rd August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), pilotsimone (22nd August 2012), RunningDeer (22nd August 2012), sandy (26th August 2012), Sierra (7th September 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), Swan (22nd August 2012), Woody (22nd August 2012)

  27. Link to Post #115
    Canada Avalon Member
    Join Date
    7th August 2010
    Posts
    171
    Thanks
    1,073
    Thanked 559 times in 121 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Thanks for the sharing of experiences, comments and good advices on this thread. It really got some of my emotions stirring… I hesitated to post for awhile as words are not enough to portray the complexity of such a situation.

    I went through a difficult family dynamic that unfortunately was not resolved at it should've been. My parents trapped themselves into a loop of endless drama and dragged their kids as witnesses of their emotional roller coaster. My father brought violence into the equation, which was the most damaging part (I saw my share of insults and broken dishes), and my mother acted as the victim of this conundrum.

    My father's unwillingness or inability to acknowledge the pain caused by his reactions was the reason that I decided to distance myself emotionally from him. I felt drained from engaging with this sort of energy. I still believe my distancing was cruel because, despite his behavior, he was my father, the parent I connected the deepest with. I knew he was in pain and I should've been there to help but I didn't feel strong enough. I felt we were trapped in a pattern as a family, with no exit whatever the decisions to try to change it. It was like a heavy burden.

    The loop was broken with the sudden death of my father, almost two years ago. He had a heart attack and was rushed to the emergency in ambulance. My sibling and I got to him thanks to an unbelievable series of events. Like the universe was making sure we could be with him before anything happened. We got to see him conscious in the ER. We all were at his bedside when he passed three days later.

    Now, our family is no longer strained by the old pattern. We have the space to develop it from a new kind of energy, and hopefully, heal from our past history and grow strong together. I do miss my father. Negativity aside, he was a strong determinant presence within our family. I wish we could've taken the healing path all together.

    I have learned that life is not black or white. This 3D journey is a very complex one. The lessons are ongoing. In reality we all yearn for the same = love. So never accept to get stuck in a negative pattern. When possible, one has to reach for the opportunity to heal. We have the power over ourselves, how we react in front of a situation.
    Last edited by Elly; 26th August 2012 at 15:13.

  28. The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Elly For This Post:

    4evrneo (29th August 2012), CdnSirian (27th August 2012), Free Will (26th August 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), nomadguy (27th August 2012), RunningDeer (26th August 2012), sandy (26th August 2012), Sierra (7th September 2012), Snookie (5th September 2012), Woody (26th August 2012)

  29. Link to Post #116
    Canada Avalon Member
    Join Date
    25th January 2011
    Location
    Alberta
    Posts
    780
    Thanks
    7,695
    Thanked 2,645 times in 689 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Talk about synchronicity! (as you can see I don't post very often)

    Last week a brother that I have avoided having a relationship with for years called me to apologize for sexually abusing me and a younger sister. I told him I wasn't sure I could truly forgive him, however I appreciated him calling me and at least admitting that it had happened. (In the past he had told my siblings not to belive anything my sister and I said as we were liars). I told him scars were left, but I had had counseling which has helped. I suggested that it might help him too. He said he didn't know why he did it, but none of it was my fault and that he thought I was a good person. He also said how sorry he was that he never protected me like a brother should, and that he hoped that some day in the future I would feel that I could turn to him for help if I needed to.

    I must admit I was blown away by the sincerity of his apology. He didn't try to make excuses or blame anyone else.

    Then a few days ago I run across this thread and start reading...shedding tears and realizing what a terrified young boy he must have been growing up with 9 other siblings in a family with an angry verbally & physically abusive father and repressed & fearful mother. I guess it was a way for him to gain a sense of some control. It also occurred to me that it damaged him far more than it damaged my sister and I. He told me he didn't have many friends and preferred to be be alone. He said his memory is so bad he had tests done to determine if he has Althzheimers.

    After all these years of struggling with feelings of bitterness, trying to figure out why it happened and striving to forgive him, I think I finally have.

    I also agree with several of the other posters who say this is soul contract stuff that we have agreed to before we came into this current existence. In my opinion, if we can experience things like this without continuing the cycle of abuse we have accomplished great things. My niece told me recently how amazed she was that her mother and I were such good role models considering what we went through as kids...high praise indeed!
    Last edited by Snookie; 8th September 2012 at 14:47.

  30. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Snookie For This Post:

    Elly (5th September 2012), Free Will (5th September 2012), Limor Wolf (11th September 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), RunningDeer (5th September 2012), Sierra (7th September 2012), spiritwind (6th September 2012), TelosianEmbrace (7th September 2012), Woody (5th September 2012)

  31. Link to Post #117
    United States Avalon Member Latti's Avatar
    Join Date
    30th August 2012
    Age
    81
    Posts
    144
    Thanks
    651
    Thanked 627 times in 120 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    My father remarried after the death of my mother and one of my siblings resented Dad's new wife. Harsh words were spoken that resulted in two of my brothers not speaking and refusing to attend family gatherings. I'm saddened by this riff, but haven't done anything in an attempt to mediate. Reading this thread has motivated me to talk to both of them and try to find a way to bring them back together.

    Latti

  32. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Latti For This Post:

    eaglespirit (7th September 2012), Free Will (10th September 2012), Limor Wolf (11th September 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), RunningDeer (7th September 2012), Sierra (7th September 2012), Snookie (7th September 2012), Woody (7th September 2012)

  33. Link to Post #118
    United States Avalon Member 4evrneo's Avatar
    Join Date
    10th August 2012
    Location
    Colorado
    Age
    56
    Posts
    515
    Thanks
    11,364
    Thanked 3,384 times in 492 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Quote Posted by Bill Ryan (here)
    -------

    Dear All -- I'm still blown away by some of the personal experiences reported on this thread.

    I've just had a very valuable conversation with a close friend about this, and everything the thread triggers, and everywhere it takes us.

    So here's a brief note. It was never my intention to encourage anyone to reconnect with toxic, dangerous people. You may be best off walking out of the door (as in a toxic marriage) -- and never looking back. Sometimes that's absolutely the right thing to do, and can take its own kind of courage.

    The other kind of courage is what it takes to apologize to a loved one many years later, confessing that one has made a mistake.

    This is what I'd first been thinking about when I posted the thread -- but then it took on a life of its own. (And rightly so, too!)

    The problem with families is that you get everything in a bundle. You get old, beloved friends, returning to be with you again. You get sworn, bitter enemies, bent on revenge. And you also get strangers who mean very little, and you wonder why they're there at all. All at the same Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.

    So here's one of many problems that can arise. When one walks away from an entire family -- and someone one feels compelled to, even to save oneself from physical damage or worse -- one leaves behind not only the toxic enemies, but also old, dear friends who may be part of the same family package.

    I welcome hearing from anyone who's found themselves wrestling with this dilemma. If that bond is broken, and one then reconnects, one can also find oneself reconnecting with one's own enemies. It's an extremely difficult situation to handle.
    Family is certainly an interesting dynamic that I have learned a great many lessons in my life more than once. I have left an abusive husband, and an abusive toxic mother at a young age and I have come to realize how they have become tremendous blessings in disguise. Now that I am revisiting a family quandary with my mother right now, it has reminded me that I have great courage and determination and will find the good in any situation. I have to thank you, this experience so far on Avalon has given me deeper meaning to my life to think outside the box and to find truths in myself I had forgotten.

    All my blessings,
    Annette

  34. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to 4evrneo For This Post:

    Free Will (10th September 2012), Limor Wolf (11th September 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), RunningDeer (7th September 2012), Snookie (8th September 2012), Woody (7th September 2012)

  35. Link to Post #119
    United States Avalon Member melpizza's Avatar
    Join Date
    4th September 2012
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked 42 times in 11 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    Hi there, this is what I am about to do in my own life, re-connect. After about 20 years of not speaking to or connecting with my parents or siblings; I am now moving back. Why did I intentionally cut myself off you might ask. To heal myself of the constant and negative mind bashing, that was my family's everyday behavior. They have changed, so have I. I now have more tools to deal with such things, I am moving in a positive direction.

  36. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to melpizza For This Post:

    Free Will (10th September 2012), gooty64 (8th September 2012), Limor Wolf (11th September 2012), Meesh (7th September 2012), RunningDeer (7th September 2012), Snookie (8th September 2012), Woody (7th September 2012)

  37. Link to Post #120
    United States Avalon Retired Member
    Join Date
    4th February 2012
    Location
    santa cruz, ca
    Age
    60
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    909
    Thanked 1,313 times in 436 posts

    Default Re: Reconnecting with alienated friends and family

    And healing is just one avenue that can be pursued with family members. Another more extreme path is waking up and living with them again. This has cleared up many 'pasts' for me. Having been a member of the 'woman' race, it has been far more rewarding living with previously estranged (or distant) re-la-tives than apart. As for some reason they trigger past memories to resurface, allowing me the final chance to let go of old ideas that have hindered my progress (and original form).

  38. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to eileenrose For This Post:

    Free Will (10th September 2012), Mike (6th November 2013), RunningDeer (8th September 2012), Snookie (8th September 2012), The Freedom Train (1st May 2017), Woody (8th September 2012)

+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst 1 6 8 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts