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Thread: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

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    UK Avalon Founder Bill Ryan's Avatar
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    Default Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    -------

    Dear All,

    Alzheimer's Disease is a twenty-first century scourge. It's the medical name for what used to be called senile dementia.

    I've been meaning to post this for quite some time. One of the mods (Billy) is currently taking care of his elderly and infirm mother, and behind the scenes we give him all the moral support we can. So I am very often reminded of the topic.

    Rather than discuss possible treatments or remedies (and I can maybe offer some interesting perspectives later in the thread), I wanted to open up the subject for discussion and exchange of experiences — because MANY people nowadays have family members who are suffering.

    And the carers suffer, as well. It's a terrible thing.

    My own personal experience concerned my father, who died, aged 84, in 1986. The last two or three years of his life, he was felled like a giant oak tree. He had been a brilliant, maverick, powerful, charismatic man. The last few years, he was a lion in winter, reduced to the demeanor of a child.

    My mother took care of him herself at home, right to the moment he died. It was a heroic, near-thankless and herculean task.

    An Alzheimer's sufferer often does not know what day it is or even who they are, cannot sometimes recognize close relatives, and may not be able to dress themselves, tell the time, go to the bathroom, or cut up their food. Their short-term memory retention is sometimes down to as little as a minute or two.

    What is really terrible (especially for the carers) is that there are sometimes periods of lucidity, where the person seems to return to awareness and be pretty much 'normal' for a day or two.

    But they then sink into the swamp again. These repeated false dawns can be devastating for someone who has steeled themselves to come to terms with a profound loss.

    ~~~

    I lived not too far away at the time (about an hour's drive), and was able to visit frequently and support my mother in every way I could. I learned at first hand that the tiniest thing could make my father desperately anxious.

    For instance, my mother found that it worked well to leave large notes, on a noticeboard by a large clock, always in the same place, explaining (e.g.) that she had gone out shopping at 10.00 and would be back by 11.00. (This was necessary, because if my mother just TOLD him she would be out, he would have forgotten within 15 minutes and would be in panic about why she had suddenly disappeared.)

    But then, she HAD to be back when she stated. Or else, the panic would kick in... even if she returned at 11.02.

    She also found it very helpful to leave points of reference (what happened yesterday, what would happen tomorrow) clearly written on a large wall calendar. That provided a degree of continuing stability and certainty. As often is the case with a child or a pet, especially one difficult to manage, very regular and structured scheduling seemed to work quite well.

    When he died, it was a provident mercy. My mother was determined not to put him into a nursing home (often another terrible place to be). But towards the end, her very life-force was getting more and more sapped every week that passed.

    After he died, I spent a lot of time with her helping her rebuild and renew herself (she was younger than him, and lived, eventually very happily and actively, for another 20 years). For a while, she could scarcely believe she could leave the house and do whatever she wished.

    Her world had been so much about him, every minute of every day, that when she found her freedom again, she had no idea what to do with it. It took pretty much a whole year for her to fully recover her normal vitality again. (But she did!)

    I'll pause now; I know there are many on the forum who have a deep personal acquaintance with all the above... and I welcome hearing from them here. Carers can sometimes grow very, very alone and isolated, and so this thread may provide some opportunity for support and connection.
    Last edited by Bill Ryan; 16th December 2014 at 19:53.

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    Germany Avalon Member wegge's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    this comes so timely there was just today an argument in my family about who is taking care how much and why and how much should you do it how was it the times before blabla...

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    United States Avalon Member Latti's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I can feel for Billy caring for his mother. My mother had Alzheimer's disease and I didn't live nearby, but she did have my father and sister-in-law to care for her.

    Not being around to help made me feel guilty; so, when I retired, I became a Certified Nurses' Assistant (CNA) to care for the elderly. My first job was in a Veterans Nursing Home where I spent time on the dementia wing. Residents were restricted to either their room, hallway or day room.

    Many residence were in good physical health, but most could not remember what they did five minutes before. They wanted to get out of that place and go home. My responsibility was to distract them and get their mind on something else such as playing games. It required constant diligence and some days I was responsible for up to ten (10) residence.

    One person can't provide proper care for that many people with dementia. After a few months I left the Veterans home and started doing in-home care. Now I spend four (4) hours a day caring for one person.

    There is a great need nursing homes and nursing home workers, but if you have a loved one that can be cared for at home, please try everything possible to keep them at home. People with dementia don't understand why they aren't allowed to go home.

    Most nursing home workers are wonderful compassionate people, but from my experience, they can't provide proper care for all of those they are assigned to care for.

    Tomorrow will be my 72nd birthday, but as long as I'm healthy, I intend to keep doing in-home care. If we live long enough, we may all, some day, need a caregiver.

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    UK Avalon Member Mike Gorman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Your experience with your father sounds tragic Bill - it echoes what happened to my father who had also been a 'force of nature'. Following the death of my mother in 2004 he
    began to start doing 'weird things' - it is as if the organizing and solid influence of his wife being absent brought on his dementia; he claimed there was a young woman
    living with him who moved things around and came home late all the time - a handy scapegoat for him losing things and the place being untidy! But it got worse and he did increasingly strange and
    florid things until my younger brother stepped in and put him in a nursing home (he lived nearby). I went to visit my father quite a bit in his final years, he did not know who I was, and he hallucinated
    continuously - it is very upsetting, but to the person themselves it is not distressing, they just fade away, they become 'Wraiths'. Anyway my father died a year ago at the age of 90. The dementia 'epidemic'
    seems to be a modern phenomenon, you have to wonder if it is caused by all the various additives in our food, water, some other agency - or is just because we tend to live longer? I don't know but it does seem strange.

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    Ireland On Sabbatical regnak's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Alzheimer's Disease from what I have read I am not a expert is a third form of diabetes. Diet does affect the mind because toxics build over time in the body which must be cleaned out slowly.

    Modern medicine works for big tablet companies and does not encourage natural healing it is better to work with the body natural defences which have been doing excellent job but sometimes need a boost

    Sick people should give up food for up to six weeks taking only water and vitamins the body needs . The body can overcome the illness however with the huge unhealthy food intake the body because overloaded cannot cope and the problem builds I am not a expert in this just with unhealthy diet most people eat is not good for you I read it from a Mexican shaman somewhere years ago seek more informed advice for serious medical complaints but can you consider food as a medicine which is what it is

    Medical Qigong well yes can help it both rebuild and cleans the system diet advice should be found serious advice the exercises in medical qigong should be done and a positive attitude helps .if this is not possible look up the water cure written by a priest more than 100 years ago which is what im readings at moment looks interesting

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    My husband and I cared for a woman with advanced Alzheimer's for one year, our job ending with her dying in my husband's arms on the way to the hospital. One of the most challenging, yet strangely rewarding, jobs my husband and I have ever had.

    My husband was a medic during much of his military experience and did have some limited background working with this as part of his education, but mostly he was performing emergency medicine and had no desire to go into this field. We were told by her daughter when hired that she had mild dementia, but shortly after moving in we realized she had far more than that.

    On the negative side it was very hard to see her deteriorate and see the lack of quality of life. Because she was almost blind and couldn't hear well it was hard to come up with anything she could do to help her engage. She did have moments when she was aware, and I know she actually heard and understood more than she could respond to. But it was a general downwards spiral that was hard to be a witness to. Out of her 3 daughters only the one we worked for felt any responsibility toward her and for years they didn't even come to see her. She would call out for them on occasion.

    We played gospel music and Lawrence Welk for her, even though we couldn't stand to listen to them. Finger foods that she liked, like watermelon were good. She loved her popcorn. But her world was infinitely small.

    On the plus side it gave my husband and I an opportunity to grow together as a couple, and as individuals, as we continuously had to adapt to new behaviors that were sometimes troubling and hard to deal with, like when she started saying "I don't know what I'm doing" for hours on end. I did manage to occasionally reprogram that to "I don't need to worry, I just need to relax". It was interesting to watch her go from being visibly tense to seeing her actually calming down when I was successful. She also enjoyed a gentle bit of massage on her shoulders which she always held Really tight. Probably because of all the falls she took before her daughter hired us. She had been living alone for considerably longer than she should have.

    Probably the hardest thing was just to keep bringing myself back to a place of acceptance and genuine empathy for her, accepting that we wouldn't be able to really make things any better. She did initially improve with better diet, but even though she was physically a bit better, she mentally still continued to slide downhill.

    So all in all, I now see this as a blessing in disguise. Usually someone's passing is a sad event, but in her case we were very happy for her to finally be released. And I am changed in a positive way from the experience.

    I am looking forward to hearing other's experiences as well.

    One last thing is I want to stress the importance of being able to get a break. Any kind of break. We found almost no one wanted to watch her for us because they just couldn't handle it. Even her daughter kind of left us to be her sole care- takers. I could not have done it alone.
    Last edited by spiritwind; 16th December 2014 at 21:48.

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    United States Avalon Member Joe Sustaire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Wow!
    This is a tough topic for me to address as I am still in the midst of it. My wife Patty was diagnosed in Nov. 2010 with moderate to severe dementia/alzheimers. She has been my "soulmate" for 43 years. She just this month turned 81, I'm 64, so yes she's 17 years older than me. I was a 20 year old art student in college, she was a 37 year old social worker with 3 kids, 6 to 10 years old. Not much in the way of logic to recommend our relationship, but our hearts said this was special, and we listened.

    We left the "rat race" over 25 years ago and moved to 40 acres in the Ouachita mountains of southeast Oklahoma. Back in the woods 2 1/2 miles up an abandoned railroad track completely off the grid, and Patty was as glad to get here as I was. So thank goodness we didn't procrastinate. We've had 25 years of living our dream, close to nature, working as a team, doing what we wanted to do.

    But this has been tough! For three years I was able to keep her here at home and take care of her. Our youngest son, Steve, moved back from Lake Tahoe to help me take care of his mother. A true blessing for all of us. Last year she reached the point where she didn't know where she was and just wanted to go home, even though she was in her home of 25 years. She couldn't be left alone at all, didn't know the way back to the house from our walks outside even though the house was in sight. And remember we're in the middle of the woods, nearest neighbor 2 1/2 miles away. Often didn't know me and "what do you think you're doing? You're not sleeping here!" So I set up a single bed so I could be close for when she would wake up during the night not knowing where she was.

    Our off grid lifestyle didn't make it easier either. It's dark when you wake up in the middle of the night, not being able to leave a light on. I found some battery powered led motion activated lights which helped that problem. If she moved a leg or sat up. a light would come on. No washing machine or flush toilet, or ready hot water for bathing. We do have a siphon flow from the pond above the house to the kitchen sink. And yes had become totally incontinent by this time as well.

    Her tolerance for hot or cold temperatures was also a difficulty, heating with wood and no ac for the summertime. But her wonderfully strong will and independent nature was still very much a part of her, and she never recognized that she had a problem, so trips to town for shopping or laundry were fun also.

    So at this point Steve and I decided we had to make the tough decision and place her in a nursing home. Steve did the scouting and was feeling pretty bad about what he was finding when someone he met in his search recommended one. Turned out to be the one. It's 50 miles from where I live but it's a very loving place and they have taken good care of her. I'm able to get over there 3 to 4 times a week and we smile and laugh, hold hands, kiss and help each other to feel loved. She can't tell you my name or what our relationship is most of the time, but we are able to connect and share our love. She is still my babe. It's a blessing.

    She has been there a little over a year. So yes, the day to day pressures on me have eased, not having 24/7 responsibilities for her, but emotionally it hasn't been easy. Being soul-mates, for 43 years I have been "Patty and Joe", now I'm having to try and learn how to just be "Joe". And for 43 years we really didn't need anyone else, we had each other, and that was enough, now I have a lot of hours to fill each day, day after day.

    As a boy scout at camp one summer we hiked to an old overhanging cave on the Brazos river where a hermit had lived for many years, and I thought, this ain't so bad, I could do this. Now, I am one.

    Enough for now, maybe I can help someone else deal with this devastating disease.

    Love!

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    Avalon Member Pam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Bill, thanks for providing us a place to reflect on caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's. My father died from Alzheimer's as well. He was once a brilliant man with many interests and it was tragic to watch him waste away over the years. There was a lot of denial regarding the diagnoses of the disease, he used humour for the longest time to hide what he was experiencing. I am kind of blown away how willing we were to put our head in the sand to avoid the truth. It was such an ugly thing to have to accept.

    He totally depended on my mother. She cared for him for years until she was injured and we placed him in a assisted living home. The first one was disastrous. They did not know how to deal with him. He was very much like a 3 year old child and became very frustrated because he could not communicate his needs. We finally found a place where he was well understood and he did very well there. Allowing him his own schedule, which was really important as he would stay awake all night with hallucinations.

    I felt a lot of guilt as I was limited in the amount of assistance I provided due to work. It is really, really hard watching your father, who was such a figure of strength, slowly deteriorate mentally and physically. I really came to see the strength of character my mom had, working so hard to take care of him and exhibiting the same loving care she provided for us as small children. She was endlessly patient with him when he had angry outbursts, or when she had to tell him the same thing for the hundredth time. I am crying as I write this, so I guess the pain of the whole experience never really goes away.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Quote Posted by Joe Sustaire (here)
    Wow!
    This is a tough topic for me to address as I am still in the midst of it. My wife Patty was diagnosed in Nov. 2010 with moderate to severe dementia/alzheimers. She has been my "soulmate" for 43 years. She just this month turned 81, I'm 64, so yes she's 17 years older than me. I was a 20 year old art student in college, she was a 37 year old social worker with 3 kids, 6 to 10 years old. Not much in the way of logic to recommend our relationship, but our hearts said this was special, and we listened.





    We left the "rat race" over 25 years ago and moved to 40 acres in the Ouachita mountains of southeast Oklahoma. Back in the woods 2 1/2 miles up an abandoned railroad track completely off the grid, and Patty was as glad to get here as I was. So thank goodness we didn't procrastinate. We've had 25 years of living our dream, close to nature, working as a team, doing what we wanted to do.

    But this has been tough! For three years I was able to keep her here at home and take care of her. Our youngest son, Steve, moved back from Lake Tahoe to help me take care of his mother. A true blessing for all of us. Last year she reached the point where she didn't know where she was and just wanted to go home, even though she was in her home of 25 years. She couldn't be left alone at all, didn't know the way back to the house from our walks outside even though the house was in sight. And remember we're in the middle of the woods, nearest neighbor 2 1/2 miles away. Often didn't know me and "what do you think you're doing? You're not sleeping here!" So I set up a single bed so I could be close for when she would wake up during the night not knowing where she was.

    Our off grid lifestyle didn't make it easier either. It's dark when you wake up in the middle of the night, not being able to leave a light on. I found some battery powered led motion activated lights which helped that problem. If she moved a leg or sat up. a light would come on. No washing machine or flush toilet, or ready hot water for bathing. We do have a siphon flow from the pond above the house to the kitchen sink. And yes had become totally incontinent by this time as well.

    Her tolerance for hot or cold temperatures was also a difficulty, heating with wood and no ac for the summertime. But her wonderfully strong will and independent nature was still very much a part of her, and she never recognized that she had a problem, so trips to town for shopping or laundry were fun also.

    So at this point Steve and I decided we had to make the tough decision and place her in a nursing home. Steve did the scouting and was feeling pretty bad about what he was finding when someone he met in his search recommended one. Turned out to be the one. It's 50 miles from where I live but it's a very loving place and they have taken good care of her. I'm able to get over there 3 to 4 times a week and we smile and laugh, hold hands, kiss and help each other to feel loved. She can't tell you my name or what our relationship is most of the time, but we are able to connect and share our love. She is still my babe. It's a blessing.

    She has been there a little over a year. So yes, the day to day pressures on me have eased, not having 24/7 responsibilities for her, but emotionally it hasn't been easy. Being soul-mates, for 43 years I have been "Patty and Joe", now I'm having to try and learn how to just be "Joe". And for 43 years we really didn't need anyone else, we had each other, and that was enough, now I have a lot of hours to fill each day, day after day.

    As a boy scout at camp one summer we hiked to an old overhanging cave on the Brazos river where a hermit had lived for many years, and I thought, this ain't so bad, I could do this. Now, I am one.

    Enough for now, maybe I can help someone else deal with this devastating disease.

    Love!


    What a beautiful love story!!!! Thank you for sharing a most personal and touching part of your life with us. You have friends here . You are not alone.

    Pam

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    Scotland Avalon Member angelfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Thank you also, Bill for sharing this and my heart goes out to Billy. My mother died of dementia in 2004 and to me it seemed the very cruellest of illnesses, for all concerned. I am an only child and was a working single mother at the time, living in Scotland while my mother was in the south of England. I consulted my doctor about whether I should consider having my mother stay with us and she strongly advised me against it. And so a lot of guilt was experienced because I knew I couldn't look after her myself although I visited as often as I could. Eventually after two disasters of care homes, we found a place in a wonderful small nursing home, well equipped to care for those with advanced Alzheimer's, with a family orientated and extremely caring atmosphere and a few pets around which gave my mother moments of fleeting joy as she had always been a huge animal lover.
    I can think of no worse way to end one's life and I will never forget the heartbreak of watching my mother, in her more lucid moments, struggling to retain remnants of her memory amidst the realisation of what was happening to her.
    It's very, very tough for the family and carers, but also, I think, a privilege to be able to offer such loving support and care for a loved one with such a frightening and debilitating condition.

    With much love for all the wonderful carers out there.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    thank you Bill, my great-grandfather served in the Army during the Normandy Beach invasion.
    he suffered injuries resulting in long term exposure to lead. he developed severe dementia.

    his sweet nature was the only reason we were able to keep him at home.
    my mom was often asked to do some of the bathroom stuff because he was hostile to the older people.
    I was about 11 or 12 if even.



    he had one of those lucid moments the summer before his death.
    he cut some apples for me and sang a song about flowers.
    it was the last time he spoke to me. because of Alzheimer's I never did have the chance to know my great-grandfather the way that others did.

    we suffered through the twilight of his life while others remember him differently.
    I know what you mean.

    and yeah even at age 31 it's scary to know, the age is getting lower (when people get alz)
    ...

    a few years ago my great-grandmother on the other side died of Parkinson's.
    it's maybe worse than Alz because there is no lucid dawn moment for them.
    only the stillness.


    it's a very tough subject.


    regards for Billy who is experiencing this firsthand.


    cry/hug

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    My mother died of early onset Alzheimer's at age 70 in 2004. Instead of looking at the tragedy that took place with losing who she was, my husband and sons remember her funnier moments towards the end. The last time we all went as a family to see her before she died, she looked at my husband Todd and said, "Oh I remember you, I always liked you! Did you ever find a good woman?"



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    United States Avalon Member craig mitchell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Haven't posted in a long while but have kept up with the forum in general. So, dipping a toe in here.

    What a timely post. So much to say but to be brief and perhaps to add other elements later: Beware the Will and/or Trust arrangements made before death and who is handling the finances designed to care for your parents. Power of attorney in the hands of an unscrupulous sibling can (and has in the case of me and my sister) add enormously to the grief and pain of losing a parent. My brother took terrible advantage of my mothers' dementia years ago (unknown to my sister and I) and worked his sick influence, poisoning the well of my mothers' mental health to great personal advantage. In short, he managed through stealth and lies, to steal all the inheritance willed to all three siblings equally after death.

    Now, a year later we are engaged in a distressing and expensive law suit in an effort to set this wrong to rights. All the manipulations by my brother are now being brought to light, by our fortunately honest and hard working lawyer, have been shocking and disgusting. Save yourself this additional pain by having transparency about the estate, and copies of the will to all parties. Maintain a watch on any activity or change in all of this.

    Perhaps this should be a separate thread with influence of the law savvy in the forum brought to bear.

    Craig

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I saw a Doctor Oz show which included an interview with the researcher who isolated the compound which, she claims, is responsible for triggering Alzheimers. It's the chemical that's in smoke flavor -- for instance, in bacon and ham. She also found four other contributing dietary items. Two of them were refined flour and sugar.

    And yes, about five years ago another researcher (I've forgotten her name) was considered to have established that Alzheimers is in effect diabetes type three. She had noticed that the tiny red splotches in the brain that characterize Alzheimers look like tiny hemorrhages. So she studied them under the microscope, and confirmed that they are indeed miniature hemorrhages.

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    Canada Avalon Member sandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Gee what a heart felt thread and subject. Thank you for bringing it forward Bill. Blessings of continued strength for you and your Mom, Billy along with you, Joe and your soulmate Patty of 43 years.

    My Dad passed at the age of 90 as well and he was a strong, proud, and stubborn man who experienced depression along with this disease as he could not accept that he would lose his independence eventually. My Mom passed before him and this added to not wanting to deal with the reality of his world and he withdrew even more.

    I am remiss to say that I wished I had heard my Mother more when I would visit, as she would say she can't take care of him anymore and that it was too hard on her. I along with the rest of the family, would encourage her to buck up, as neither of them wanted to leave their home, refusing to look at alternatives to alleviate some of the stress and responsibility. She was good at covering for him as she had done it all there 64 years of married life and we did not realize the extent of the onus on her as a result.

    She went to bed one night and never woke up (heart attack in her sleep) and until that time she never even had an ailment that had her disabled or put her health at risk in any way. I often think she just decided to checked out and thus we could find out for ourselves if we didn't want to hear her. She was known to be spiteful sometimes...... hahahha but I loved her, just the same.

    I visited my Dad as often as I could living 4 hours away (one way) and spent a month at a time in caring for him and giving my sister some respite along the way. She was single, had no children, and lived in the same community a few places away from my folks and took care of Dad until her health and well being along with his deterioration could not be managed any longer.

    Dad also experienced two care homes and passed away in the last one, only 6 months after having to leave his home. He took to sleeping as much as a new born baby near the end but did know his children for fleeting moments it seems, right up until the end.

    I was blessed to experience a few evenings of Dad being lucid and what sticks in my mind is his sharing how scary it was not be able to draw on what he knows, he knows, and how in his mind he would start repeating the alphabet or counting, one, two, three to fill in the vacuum of nothing. He talked of his lack of being a good father another time and seemed to be walking back and reflecting on his life, and again talked of how scared he was and how he hated being alone more than anything. Just like any small child would be when one thinks about being in these shoes and experiencing this vulnerability.

    In the end he was just a little scared boy, so wanting to be nurtured and loved and so I pampered and catered to him as much as I could and so did my sister in her own way. Our 3 brothers did not seem to be able to handle seeing him this way so visited less often. It is a blessing that as the disease progresses they regress more and more and do not suffer seem to experience pain mentally or physically while the disease takes over their memory and in the end, their mind.

    It is so important that the care givers get support and repite and reach out and are HEARD when they do, as it is like having a child again who neediness can be overwhelming 24/7.

    Memories of my folks are alive and well within the family today and give us all much laughter and joy when together as they were not social beings and we and our children were all they had in way of entertainment besides the TV, thus spent most holidays, sunday suppers, vacations, and many evening playing cards and games with them. My Dad and Mom's lineage, heritage and traditions are certainly carried on as a result and that in inself honours the life they gave us!!

    http://www.upworthy.com/whats-it-lik...ind-out?c=ufb1
    Last edited by sandy; 17th December 2014 at 02:16.
    Love and Light Always/Sandy

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    As a retired Naturopath, I try to keep a database with current information on recent research in alternative medical procedures in healing degenerative diseases. It seems that Alzheimer's is one degenerative disease that can be treated effectively at home with a little effort and some dietary changes. Here is some of the most pertinent information on Alzheimer's from my database
    There's a thin line between a hero and a fool; but no line at all between a fool and a wise man.

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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    With the massive aging boomer generation nearing the age that many watched their parents deteriorate with dementia and alzheimers (what really is the difference?), I think this very timely subject brings up 2 very important issues for ourselves.

    1. GENETIC OR NOT. If you had a parent who had dementia/alzheimers, is it genetic? Maybe if the answer is either yes or no, I'm realizing that the wake up call is that the time is NOW to do everything possible to stay physically and mentally stimulated to either prevent or possibly vastly delay a decay like my Mom. My opinion is that any illness can be averted or healed with the right diet/physical care and mental attitude and constant exercise/stimulus of both, and my successes have taught me that it must be actively addressed with relentless dedication.

    2. ASSISTED SUICIDE/...or UNASSISTED. During the lucid moments the last 3 years of her life my mother begged me over and over to help her figure out how to end her life. She was in no illness or pain at 85, but hated feeling the deterioration and being dependent especially with the loss of eyesight, flat out bored with everything and done and I don't blame her. It made me wonder what nature's purpose was for this long miserable deterioration, and made me realize I needed to have a plan on how to 'leave' if I ever got to the same point. She had no options but to decay in misery. It was my wake up call to have that covered too.

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  33. Link to Post #18
    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    I've no direct experience with Alzheimer's Disease. My heart goes out all that have been or are touched by this affliction.

    I watched “Still Alice” a couple of weeks back on a free movie site. It's not coming up for me at the moment. Here's the trailer.

    Alice Howland, happily married with three grown children, is a renowned linguistics professor who starts to forget words. When she receives a devastating diagnosis, Alice and her family find their bonds tested.


    <3

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  35. Link to Post #19
    Mauritius Avalon Member Guish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    It's a very interesting thread. My grandfather's brother had Alzheimer. He settled in France for 30 years. When he became ill, his family ditched him and took all his money. Hence, he returned to Mauritius. My Grandfather took care of him but it was very tough. He used to wake up at round 4 a.m in the morning and walk for 10-15 kms. My father and his brother had to look for him everyday.

    It's horrible that some people enjoy good health but they fight over trivial things.

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  37. Link to Post #20
    Avalon Member grannyfranny100's Avatar
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    Default Re: Caring for relatives with Alzheimer's : the modern curse of the elderly

    Waves, I have already started to stockpile my pain pills. Previously, I didn't believe in suicide but when my lucidity become intermittent, I want the choice. I think most of us who have dealt with dem/az may prefer this option. I prefer to be remembered in my prime!!!!!!


    Truglivartna, think I will add coconut oil to my diet; it does sound hopeful!!
    Last edited by grannyfranny100; 17th December 2014 at 05:03.

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