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Thread: The Great Quotes thread

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    A few more classics from Churchill


    A sheep in sheep's clothing (On Clement Atlee)

    A modest man, who has much to be modest about (On Clement Atlee)

    Do not let spacious plans for a new world divert your energies from saving what is left of the old.

    Eating words has never given me indigestion.

    Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

    For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to write that history myself.

    He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

    I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

    JP

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  3. Link to Post #22
    United States Avalon Member Calz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    These two need to be taken together to get a good feel for the "political reality" that we have always been mired in:


    Decades ago Franklin D. Roosevelt said: “Nothing in politics ever happens
by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.”

    Decades earlier Benjamin Disraeli, famed as the Victorian-era Prime Minister
of Britain, wrote: “The world is governed by people far different from those
imagined by the public.”

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    Avalon Member Ineffable Hitchhiker's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Evening news is where they begin with :-"Good evening" and proceed to tell you why it isn´t.
    The heart knows a hundred thousand ways to speak.
    ~ rumi

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    United States Avalon Member Calz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    We need to slow down here folks or else we will run out of quotes and could that mean the END OF DAYS???

    Just like the joke about the Mayan calandar makers running out of rock

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  9. Link to Post #25
    Scotland Avalon Member Muzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ____________________________________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!
    ______________________ ________________
    ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
    WITNESS: We both do.
    ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
    WITNESS: We do.
    ATTORNEY: You do?
    WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: ; Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
    ________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you ****tin' me?
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS : Are you ****tin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death.
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Guess.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at t he time?
    WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
    ______________________________________
    And the best for last:
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law.

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Hi Muzz

    Hahahahahahaha - these were so funny - my wife has just walked in wondering why I am laughing like a drain to myself!

    Best regards. JP

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Thanks John, Ive had these a while but still get a tickle when I read them.

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    .... be gentle with your anger. Sixto Rodriguez, Cape Town 20.02.2013

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!

    If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got!

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    From Robert Burns (1759-1796)
    Name:  scotsman.jpg
Views: 319
Size:  97.3 KB



    In Scottish............
    'Oh wad some power the giftie gie us
    to see oursel's as others see us
    It wad frae monie a blunder free us

    In English...............
    Oh would some power the gift to give us
    to see ourselves as others see us
    It would from many a blunder free us
    Last edited by dejavu; 29th March 2011 at 15:19.
    "Beyond Right Doing and Wrong Doing, there is a Field, I will meet you there." ( Rumi in the 12th century spoke of the Field as a finer vibration of Consciousness) The truth is timeless............dejavu

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    March Wind

    As the trees start leafing out, I am reminded of what's to come.
    The trees dance in the wind, awakening a glimmer of hope within my heart.
    As I look at the daffodils facing the sun, I remember the present.
    Feeling this energy surge through my own body, I breathe deeply.
    I accept the continuous changing world of our Creator.

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    "I have now reigned about 50 years in victory or peace, beloved by my subjects, dreaded by my enemies, and respected by my allies. Riches and honors, power and pleasure, have waited on my call, nor does any earthly blessing appear to have been wanting to my felicity. In this situation, I have diligently numbered the days of pure and genuine happiness which have fallen to my lot. They amount to fourteen. "

    Abd Er-Rahman III of Spain: (960 C.E)

    One of my favorites, as it sums up how pointless the pursuit of power for powers sake is.
    Last edited by Mister_m; 29th March 2011 at 13:21.

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    "If you're not paranoid by now you must be crazy."

    It may have been said before, if not I claim it as from my life's experience...
    Question Everything, always speak truth... Make the best of today, for there may not be a tomorrow!!! But, that's OK because tomorrow never comes, so we have nothing to worry about!!!

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty... in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.
    Deepak Chopra

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    "It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis." Margaret Bonnano

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Quote Posted by Gaia (here)
    In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty... in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.
    Deepak Chopra
    You know, deepak chopra sounds like something you could order at an indian restaurant?
    Yeah, I will have one beef madras, one chicken vindaloo and a deepak chopra all take away, thanks.
    See?

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Hell My Lord

    Ha ha ha - I like your sense of humour - more please ...

    JP

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  34. Link to Post #38
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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Quote Posted by John Parslow (here)
    Hell My Lord

    Ha ha ha - I like your sense of humour - more please ...

    JP
    Lucky you posted, I forgot the pappadums.
    Again.

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    Hello again M'Lord

    Still laughing! Ha ha ha - How about Naan Bread?

    All the best. JP

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    Default Re: The Great Quotes thread

    "I have gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back. Keep me here! I need to talk to myself"
    Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Yoda....

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