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Thread: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How we ALL enable TOXIC people
    Nov 8, 2019

    DoctorRamani


    Sometimes I have felt like Avalon's policies toward toxic people has been too lenient, though it does seem like unsubscribing toxic people and those who don't fit the guidelines has stepped up recently, for which I am grateful!
    It's all about maintaining good boundaries, which is absolutely necessary.
    Some of us have to learn that the hard way (empaths especially!), but it doesn't have to be hard once we see the sense of it.
    Last edited by onawah; 10th November 2019 at 21:57.
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    How we ALL enable TOXIC people
    Nov 8, 2019

    DoctorRamani

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    Last edited by Deux Corbeaux; 11th November 2019 at 20:36.

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    I see a lot of light coming from her eyes.
    Very unlike the flat, dull, expressionless eyes that I have seen in narcissists.
    For empaths who tend to take on the toxic energy of narcissists and other toxic people and are thereby diminished, I think her messages are quite empowering.
    And power is a good thing when it is used to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
    Quote Posted by Deux Corbeaux (here)

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    And here's another very informative, sensible and helpful talk from Dr. Ramani
    How to fight fire with grace
    10/14/19
    Each breath a gift...
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    Avalon Member Deux Corbeaux's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Quote Posted by onawah (here)
    I see a lot of light coming from her eyes.
    Very unlike the flat, dull, expressionless eyes that I have seen in narcissists.
    For empaths who tend to take on the toxic energy of narcissists and other toxic people and are thereby diminished, I think her messages are quite empowering.
    And power is a good thing when it is used to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
    Quote Posted by Deux Corbeaux (here)

    I can only reply to this ‘Doctor Ramani’ with a haiku .....

    Your eyes, Ramani
    Are draining the energy
    from those seeing them
    If Dr. Ramani works for you, it's Ok. Her messages are informative and helpful. Just as Sam Vaknin's messages are. Many roads lead to Rome.

    One just has to feel comfortable with the energy of the person that is bringing the message. For me .... sometimes it's reading the stare of the eyes that makes me feel uncomfortable, the other time it's the tone of the voice ......
    Last edited by Deux Corbeaux; 12th November 2019 at 13:20. Reason: clarity

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Dr. Gabor Mate Authenticity vs. Attachment
    May 14, 2019

    Phil Borges
    CRAZYWISE Conversations: Gabor Maté – Authenticity vs. Attachment

    Gabor Maté, M.D. takes a special interest in early childhood trauma and the potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health. Here he discusses the conflict children and adults often face staying true to their authenticity while potentially jeopardizing their important relationships.

    Dr. Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and attempts to address this in their recovery. His book In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts discusses the types of trauma experienced by those suffering from addiction and how this affects their decision-making later in life."


    R GABOR MATÉ - CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CREATES ADDICTION - Part 1/2 | London Real
    Premiered Jan 6, 2019


    FREE FULL EPISODES: https://londonreal.tv/episodes

    "Dr Gabor Maté, the renowned speaker, physician and author.

    He has written many, bestselling books including

    In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction, which is based on his findings, from twelve years practicing medicine, in Vancouver’s most concentrated area of drug users.

    He is also known for his expertise on childhood trauma, stress, and the mind-body connection. His work reframes how we view all human development."

    Watch the FULL EPISODE here:
    https://londonreal.tv/e/gabor-mate/



    (Not squarely on topic, but related to how to heal from abuse. sometimes the greatest insights and wisdom come from "wounded healers", which Dr. Mate admits to being.)
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    I am a narcissist-buster. And I use similar techniques that they use and so I am often confused for one. And sometimes I forget my own role and identify as one.

    I have watched narcissists take down entire companies with their antics. I have lost jobs because of them. So many functions were ruined by them but not because of them - because of me! I would ruin the function to ruin their holding court over the attendees, basking in their importance.

    I have warned those in power of the potential disruption by the newest narcissist only to loose my own position instead. And that I am later proved right only aggravated my own standing in the company, and did not improve it forcing me eventually to move on.

    Narcissists have no talent and use bluster to conceal that fact. It is only smoke and mirrors they concoct to look good but it is the capitulation of those who they encounter that allow the narcissist to excel.

    But again, to demonize the most common element in this society as an aberration is not productive and only serves to confuse because the narcissist must be dealt with by courageous individuals who must use the same techniques against them as are used by the narcissist.
    Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water...Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. Bruce Lee

    Free will can only be as free as the mind that conceives it.

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Snippets from Dr. Ramani Q&A Live Stream - November 14th

    Comment on reaching 100,000 subscribers:
    There's at least a hundred thousand people out there I am now more confident are gonna get information about narcissism and why that's so important to me is because I think that that's what disempowers them. The more people that get this, the better off we're going to be. Because the more people who like we don't want people to enable them.

    That’s a big way narcissists get their power. They’re enabled. We let them in too far in the gate because we gave them second chances and they had a tough backstory. Abuse is abuse. That's what we've got to remember. You don’t have to be cruel. You can be compassionate but you don't need to be someone’s punching bag.
    Some of the Q&A’s:
    What can my son expect when he goes to visit his narcissistic father and his stepmother with borderline personality?
    He can expect to not be seen to not be listened to to give him realistic expectations so your son doesn't wonder like what's wrong with me. Make it so your son doesn't feel like he has to keep trying harder and harder and harder. That’s what breaks people with narcissistic parents is that they spend their entire childhood jumping through hoops trying to please the narcissistic parent and ending up in adulthood feeling like they can't please anyone in the world and feeling isolated and lonely. You can say to him…
    Why do covert narcissists withhold affection?
    They ain't got a lot to give. Covert narcissists are so stuck in being victims and constantly monitoring your environment, thinking who's out to get me, why did you say that, being hypersensitive, being almost paranoid. Because of that, forget affection. They’re really bad at intimacy because if anything as soon as they start getting close to someone they feel even more vulnerable they feel even more victimized and they'll often withhold affection…
    How can I help my mother who's a victim of my dad who's a narcissist?
    It can be devastating to watch a parent wither on the vine in front of you. Especially if it was a mom who did her best to try to be there for you, to protect you, to give you some consistency but watch the life get squeezed out of her.

    This is actually in some ways a simple answer let her know you love her and also let her know you see that this hasn't been easy for her. You don't have to give her solutions. You don't have to fix it. You don't have to make a grand pronouncement you need to leave. But say I know this has been hard for you and thank you for everything you did for me. As a mother that might be enough for your mom to know cuz she sure as hell isn't being seen and heard by your dad. But if she’s seen and heard by you that could give her the energy and maybe even the call to life that she needs to keep pushing forward.
    Did you hear about what are called highly sensitive persons?
    Yes now let’s make something very clear here. There are some people out there when I talk about the hypersensitivity of narcissism I come into it as sort of more of a toxic space where the person is always interpreting harm that other people are saying like: Why'd you say that to me? Why'd you look at me like that? It's always very conflictual.

    But in some cases for the highly sensitive person this is a pattern we might see for example in people who are incredibly incredibly empathic people we might term as empaths and as a result they actually may take a harder hits from the narcissist.

    But I'll also say this the real real risk of the empaths is that they give too many second chances. They take in too much of the narcissist pain. They take in too much of the narcissist toxicity and they are not able to advocate for themselves as well as they can.

    The most important thing for an empath to recognize that that sensitivity. When given to a worthy recipient is wonderful but to be careful to not hand it over to the lowest bidder namely the narcissist.
    Could I’ve been wrong about this all along could I be the narcissist?
    Anytime somebody asks if there's a narcissist that that's always a good sign. Here’s the deal, if you have contempt for other people, if you have contempt for closeness, you find yourself rolling your eyes when people are saying things you think are ignorant either you're too smart for them catch yourself…
    Do narcissists truly let go of their ex-partner if they don’t have a new supply?
    That is a fantastic question because actually the answer to that is not really they need that supply. They keep all their ex partners in their phone because when they burn the bridge with a new partner they’ll come back to you. It’s like a warehouse of human beings that they keep getting supply from…
    What about narcissistic parents who control their finance and their children financially even into adulthood and how to get out from their grasp?
    Narcissistic parents definitely use money. They weaponize money. Money becomes loved in those family systems. It’s really like again the scapegoat often doesn't get the money. The golden child gets more of the money. The children fight about the money. You paid for her wedding. You should pay for my law school. There’s a lot of that and the parents almost like it. Like it's like watching a gladiator game trying to watch your kids sort of tear themselves apart over the money and it gives the parents a lot of power.

    The best thing the best thing you could ever do if you had narcissistic parents who use money to control is become financially independent because that takes all of their power away….

    The thing you can get out of that is so much better than money which is your freedom and your pride and getting to call the shots it can feel very very good and could take a real mental toll on you when you become dependent on that psychological sort of hijacking that comes up narcissistic parents do with money…
    I've seen over a dozen therapist but I haven't found closure to my pain. Do people like me ever recover?
    …People in narcissistic relationships don't ever get real closure. You are never gonna get that moment with the narcissist when they say you know I get it. I wasn't there. I wasn't right. I didn't treat you right. I invalidated you etc etc.

    And you finally feel heard. You will never get that moment you will never get the deathbed confession. the closure has to come from you. And the closure comes from “I got out of this”. You are not defined by your abuse but you can be defined by leaving your abuse.
    Do you think a person should leave the narcissistic parents house it? Would be really hard for me but I am so unhappy here.
    I would never want someone to have to live in an unsafe living circumstance because of leaving a setting. But I gotta tell you in some ways living with a narcissistic parent as an adult isn't safe living circumstance and that it's unsafe for your mental health.

    If you can think about like what are the sacrifices I’ll have to make? What are the gains? You might say, “I could be pretty content in one room if I am not listening to nightly criticism. “
    Dr. Ramani Live Stream - November 14th (19 minutes)

    Last edited by RunningDeer; 15th November 2019 at 20:19.

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How to slow down the video for easy listening:
    • Some of the speakers talk fast. Click the settings dial at the bottom, right of the video and change the playback speed.





    Where to find the video transcript:
    • Auto-generated transcripts, is a time saver and a good way to grab info especially when summaries aren't provided.
    • Click on the three dots and then click 'open transcript'. It may take the transcript to process if the video newly loaded.




    • Toggle to the no time stamp and cut and paste to speed read, review or click on specific topics. Note: the whole page copies when you cut and paste.

    • You may need to click on “hide chat” so you can see the transcript.
    Last edited by RunningDeer; 15th November 2019 at 21:13.

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Some recent videos from VItal Mind Psychology:
    Becoming An Emotionally Mature Empath
    7/23/19


    11/23/19
    How to Heal Your Inner Child


    The Empath's Four Self States
    Jul 11, 2019


    What is an Empath?
    7/1/19
    Last edited by onawah; 17th November 2019 at 05:08.
    Each breath a gift...
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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    The paradox of the HAPPY FAMILY and the NARCISSIST
    11/11/19


    This hit home, not because I came from a happy family but because it really makes me cringe when I see such a person naively making themselves vulnerable to attack from narcissists and other disturbed individuals.
    How to contribute to their awareness of the untenable position they've put themselves in without appearing to be nothing more than a very cynical person with a negative view of the world?
    Last edited by onawah; 18th November 2019 at 21:13.
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  23. Link to Post #192
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Dr. Todd Grande is wayyyyy ahead of most online experts. I'd really like this fellow to get more traction on Youtube. His information is dense, but explicit, leaving little margin for error.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19RHMZH2Nh4

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Ernie,

    Agree with your point. We live in a Narcissitic age and behavior that would have been viewed as deeply pathological just twenty years ago, is now 'normal.' Probably a feature of rampant insecurity on a cultural level with those who are actual pathological types achieving dominance. Sad and sick situation and maybe linked to increased population, family breakdown, over indulging children and or ignoring them altogether, personal tech, etc...etc... cancer stage of capitalism.

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    United States Avalon Member RunningDeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Are You A Safe Person? 8 Indicators

    Dr. Les Carter = DRC

    Dr. Les Carter Resources:
    Would others consider you trustworthy, reliable, and personable? In other words, are you a safe person? Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter breaks down the difference between unsafe people and safe people.

    Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 39 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars.
    Eight Traits of an Unsafe Person:
    1. Unsafe people don't receive or digest input very well.
    2. Unsafe people can be highly defensive with strong barriers up.
    3. Unsafe people blame and accuse.
    4. Unsafe people aren't really inclined towards intimacy.
    5. Unsafe people operate with a tightly maintained agenda.
    6. Unsafe people are very slow to forgive, if they forgive at all.
    7. Unsafe people can't say “I'm sorry.” They can't say, “I was wrong.”
    8. Unsafe people use one-up, one-down communication.
    Eight Traits of a Safe Person:
    1. Safe people are approachable, especially in disagreements.
    2. Safe people want to learn from their mistakes.
    3. Safe people are transparent. (authenticity, i.e. internally and externally consistent)
    4. Safe people genuinely like to connect.
    5. Safe people affirm and encourage.
    6. Safe people have a generally agreeable manner.
    7. Safe people manage anger cleanly.
    8. Safe people are reliable. You can count on them.

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    Why Empaths Fall For Love Bombing
    Vital Mind Psychology
    Mar 16, 2019


    Last edited by onawah; 21st November 2019 at 06:13.
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    Canada Avalon Member Ernie Nemeth's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    In all my days I have only felt safe around a handful of individuals. Those criteria of 'safe' people are exactly the types that are not safe. So I must assume that this is mostly a subjective stance at best. Yes the 'safe' people are easiest to be around. Yes 'safe' people will have your back as long as you tow the line. But, and this is a massive but, they are the first to turn on you for whatever reason they concoct because they themselves never feel safe and never trust anyone. It is in the nature of the 'safe' person to always question, to always look for anomalies, and to never let anyone get away with anything. that is the opposite of 'safe'.

    And while the unsafe person may have vested interests, that's okay because so do the 'safe' people. The difference is that the 'unsafe' person is known to have them and admits it while the 'safe' person denies they have such tendencies.

    So, in all my years I have had a handful of absolutely 'safe' friends and none of them were 'safe' people. Yet these same 'unsafe' people would have laid down their lives for me just as I would for them. In their presence I was completely safe.

    Go figure
    Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless — like water...Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend. Bruce Lee

    Free will can only be as free as the mind that conceives it.

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How to deal with being held hostage at the THANKSGIVING table
    DoctorRamani Nov 28, 2019


    How Does Being With a Narcissist Affect Your Body, Mind, and Soul?
    DoctorRamani Aug 30,2019
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    she is so right.... thanks for posting this...

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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    How Do Narcissists REACT When IGNORED
    11/25/19
    Jess Stanley

    ( Some new to me, useful info. I just had an experience with a narcissist's "flying monkey", a first for me. )

    "No matter the reason WHY you're ignoring a narcissist they are definitely going to notice and react to what you're doing.
    There's several different ways they choose to react and this is a list of those possibilities so you can KNOW what's coming!
    This will be ESPECIALLY helpful if you're contemplating no contact."

    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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    United States Avalon Member onawah's Avatar
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    Default Re: 20 Basic Tactics Used By Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths To manipulate And Silence A Prey

    When You Unmask a Covert Narcissist, RUN, But Quietly! Counterfeit Relationship, Narcissism Expert
    May 30, 2016
    Ross Rosenberg
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3an9crV9feM

    "In this video, I explain the very complicated and dangerous undertaking of protecting yourself when you uncover/unmask a covert narcissist and the dysfunctional relationship they trick you into. Because of their manipulative nature and the fact that they are often respected and even adored by others, taking them on directly is big mistake.

    Ross Rosenberg's latest book, The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018) and his personal development, seminar, workshop and other services can be found at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com or www.HumanMagnetSyndrome.com.

    Ross Rosenberg’s work on codependency, narcissism, trauma, Self-Love Recovery™, and his "Codependency Cure™" has earned him international recognition. He owns Clinical Care Consultants, a multi-location Chicago suburb counseling center, and the Self-Love Recovery Institute. He has traveled to 30 states and twice to Europe to present his workshops. Ross's first book, “The Human Magnet Syndrome" sold over 50K copies and is published in French, Spanish and soon in Czech. His latest Human Magnet Syndrome book, a complete re-write of the first, is available on February 1st. Ross’s 7 million video views/68,000 subscribers YouTube platform has established him as global phenomenon.

    Ross owns Clinical Care Consultants, a counseling center located in Arlington Heights and Inverness IL. .

    Ross's articles at http://goo.gl/XEVxgE "



    I can see why Rosenberg says covert narcissists are the worst kind, and they are dangerous.
    I think there can be real demonic possession involved.
    Each breath a gift...
    _____________

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