A Tale of Self-Discovery

[Czymra]

...and yet it was I who rambled.

I'll do so.

[777 The Great Work]

Originally Posted by Czymra

...and yet it was I who rambled.

I'll do so.

No, you have a musical flow of inner G going ,and i don't want to interupt it.

[milk and honey]

The spirit has a way of informing each of us uniquely with what we need. Sometimes the tidbits we're conscious of are flashes of memory - literal or symbolic - of what either we've done in the distant past or what we are doing on inner planes while we sleep.

We've been through so much which our souls must resolve, that much of the activity of consciousness is inner and sub-conscious, barely breaking the surface. Consequently it can be difficult to examine and understand a few degrees of a circle sliced from a sphere grasped fleetingly then smothered by the conscious demands of new experience. I can remember dreams and daydreams and poetic scribblings that eventually were explained by a clearer realisation of my past incarnations. A fair bit has happened in our aeonic sojourn through the mysts of matter. The mystery of our own lives is recorded within us. It presses the boundaries of conscious awareness in literal and symbolic ways seeking the open embrace of acceptance and conscious resolution.

That's all i know. It's a process that occasionally provides the grace of real vision yet the clarity of that POV recedes behind the labrinth of unknowingness until again grace brings personal understanding. It is a cycle which must become an upward spiral as vision translates into soul attainment or closer proximity to the inner light of Christ. Much like the light of the sun appears to us from earth's changing POV we must seek and know the inner light from each degree and plane of awareness. Until Oneness is realised the subject views the object. The skewed earth spins on it's axis and revolves around the sun. Sometimes it is partially or fully eclipsed by the moon, sometimes earth is dark sometimes bathed in the light of noontide. Sometimes equinox sometimes solstice. As the earth will one day ascend and be drawn back into the Sun so will the soul ascend to perfect union through the Son. May we all make the most of cycles - especially the grace of vision - to transcend self.

Thankyou for sharing all this Czymra. Obviously your higher-Self knows what your outer mind is trying to re-member. You may resist the idea considering it an archaic misunderstanding of the nature of God, i don't know, but have you talked to your higher-Self? Your Christ Self is the immaculate conception of Father and Mother and is friend, counsellor and guide. Some might say that "i am my higher-Self so why would i talk to someone i am?" To that i'd say that the soul is a fragment of the higher- Self projected into matter yet the higher-Self has become largely eclipsed from inner view. An inner dialogue in thought and word is an offering of receptivity to the higher-Self. It is the offering of a place (in consciousness) for the answers to specific questions to be given. It is a bit like being trapped in a prison cell and tapping on the wall to see if you get a response from outside. When you do you will find your higher-Self is willing to help in just that way. It's a revelation to discover it really works. I wouldn't suggest it if it didn't but i wouldn't push it either. When you consider the 'payoff' it could be worth at least experimenting with. Life presents so many questions to a questing soul. God has all the answers.
.

[Czymra]

Thank you milk and honey for your insight.

Slowly I am actually able to comprehend your syntax.

As for listening and conversing with my higher self, I would very much like to do that. Yet, I am standing in my own way it seems.
There is much I have to learn to achieve what needs achieving in the physical realm and even though I know that all comes when it comes, the timeframe at the moment is very narrow.
I have relied on just living for the past two years hoping maybe for some kind of Zen understanding. 'Wash your bowl.' In that time, I feel now, I have been able to come up with many subconscious ideas that now all prove right especially in regard to the suggestions put forward on the Nexus 2012 thread. Nevertheless, it also lulled me into a certain laziness. I simply did not engage with all the topics that never drew me but are necessary tools. Maths or extensive amounts of specific learning, be it vocabulary or chemistry never appealed to me, in fact they seemed to cover over what I knew inside me. I am only now catching up and ready to learn all this. I am still not sure whether the information actually is a basis of understanding or whether the fact of engaging with it is what matters. It is similar to learning a language. Do we really learn the symbols that stand for each letter, sound and meaning or do we simply train to tap into the flow?

I've always been a flow person, not always with the flow, but focusing on the nature of the flow. Life to me is self-arranging and constantly rearranging by the context that new parts establish.
Now I have reached a point that allows me to look at the specificity of flows, symbols on their own, one might say. It is as if I descended one more level from a general presence into a now more detailed manifestation of that presence to learn its specifics. Did I go one level up or down? Why do I need to know more than one level?

The ultimate challenge/problem is that I seem to know what I'm looking for, I know how it feels and its quality, there is no question to all of this. In fact, visualisation, mantras and mudras and what not, feel silly to be because I KNOW.
However, the 'tools' for these processes always accomplish to frustrate me. It doesn't matter whether I am animating and struggle with the program, trying to be aware but forget to breathe, meditating but all I hear is people talking in the distance, a sudden bark, my nose itches or if it is about talking to my higher self and all I get is ideas rambling in my own dome.

Seriously, someone open the bloody gates.

[milk and honey]

Originally Posted by Czymra

Thank you milk and honey for your insight.

Slowly I am actually able to comprehend your syntax.

Syntax? You've just given me a money making idea....

Originally Posted by Czymra

As for listening and conversing with my higher self, I would very much like to do that. Yet, I am standing in my own way it seems.
There is much I have to learn to achieve what needs achieving in the physical realm and even though I know that all comes when it comes, the timeframe at the moment is very narrow.

Do you anticipate leaving very soon?

Originally Posted by Czymra

I have relied on just living for the past two years hoping maybe for some kind of Zen understanding. 'Wash your bowl.' In that time, I feel now, I have been able to come up with many subconscious ideas that now all prove right especially in regard to the suggestions put forward on the Nexus 2012 thread.

Like?

Originally Posted by Czymra

I've always been a flow person, not always with the flow, but focusing on the nature of the flow. Life to me is self-arranging and constantly rearranging by the context that new parts establish.
Now I have reached a point that allows me to look at the specificity of flows, symbols on their own, one might say. It is as if I descended one more level from a general presence into a now more detailed manifestation of that presence to learn its specifics. Did I go one level up or down? Why do I need to know more than one level?

If it is true that the whole can be found within each part then it is just a matter of focus. How wide or narrow becomes less important so long as the part you focus on is truly known. Then your question of higher or lower levels can be resolved. To know the heart or true nature of anything is to Be in the heart. The heart of the lowliest part is the height of being.

The higher-Self has inspired many a soul to focus on solving one of life's scientific, medical or mathmatical problems. This raises your concept of 'flow' as it relates to 'specifics'. When you consider that the higher-Self is practical and seeks to enter in to human form to express the practicalities of service in all fields of human endeavour then it is essential to open oneself to the flow of the Presence no matter the focus of one's outer attention. Whether it is teaching a child to sew a button onto a shirt or studying the weather or disease on a global scale, attuning with the flow of the Presence is the right attitude and first qualification for truly knowing the specific object of one's attention.

Which ever way you shake it the first injunction remains: "man, know thyself". To know Self is to know any 'thing' as Self reveals the true nature and activity of the 'thing'. Similarly, to know any specific 'thing' as it truly is is most likely (but not always) the result of the Presence opening one's mind to the true nature of the 'thing'. Ahh forget it.

Originally Posted by Czymra

The ultimate challenge/problem is that I seem to know what I'm looking for, I know how it feels and its quality, there is no question to all of this. In fact, visualisation, mantras and mudras and what not, feel silly to be because I KNOW.
However, the 'tools' for these processes always accomplish to frustrate me. It doesn't matter whether I am animating and struggle with the program, trying to be aware but forget to breathe, meditating but all I hear is people talking in the distance, a sudden bark, my nose itches or if it is about talking to my higher self and all I get is ideas rambling in my own dome.

Understood. When the taste is known the frustrations to knowledge are... well... frustrating. The best tool i ever came across is the spoken word itself. The "word" in the ancient traditions is the christ-consciousness. It can be creatively released through all the subtle energy centers including the throat chakra in the spoken word. Whatever is held in thought and feeling can be amplified greatly by the spoken word, most especially if you begin to feel the flow of the Presence. That's why i find mantras and affirmations effective because if the mind wanders it can be brought back to the intent of the spoken word.

Originally Posted by Czymra

Seriously, someone open the bloody gates.

Be my guest...

[Czymra]

Syntax? You've just given me a money making idea....

How is that?

Do you anticipate leaving very soon?

I've got till May to throw out my creative 'out poor' and then I'll be off. After that, time doesn't matter.

Like?

Anything that has to do with light and sound. Their geometrical networks as explored by Furia, the synethesia effects between a tone and a colour, the importance of water, a reinvention of language... in fact the only thing that hasn't been touched upon is going beyond symbolism. I shall have my domain.
The thing is just that I lack the mathematical and scientific base to 'catch up'. My head still blocks it.

If it is true that the whole can be found within each part then it is just a matter of focus. How wide or narrow becomes less important so long as the part you focus on is truly known. Then your question of higher or lower levels can be resolved. To know the heart or true nature of anything is to Be in the heart. The heart of the lowliest part is the height of being.

Maybe what I consider a general level has just been superficial. I do not think so but the problem is that I understand things emotionally or so (maybe not even that) but certainly not in a very applicable way.

The higher-Self has inspired many a soul to focus on solving one of life's scientific, medical or mathmatical problems. This raises your concept of 'flow' as it relates to 'specifics'. When you consider that the higher-Self is practical and seeks to enter in to human form to express the practicalities of service in all fields of human endeavour then it is essential to open oneself to the flow of the Presence no matter the focus of one's outer attention. Whether it is teaching a child to sew a button onto a shirt or studying the weather or disease on a global scale, attuning with the flow of the Presence is the right attitude and first qualification for truly knowing the specific object of one's attention.

Which ever way you shake it the first injunction remains: "man, know thyself". To know Self is to know any 'thing' as Self reveals the true nature and activity of the 'thing'. Similarly, to know any specific 'thing' as it truly is is most likely (but not always) the result of the Presence opening one's mind to the true nature of the 'thing'. Ahh forget it.

Actually, that's quite good. I can't hear this enough. My problem is probably patience then. Nothing new, yet again. But maybe I'm also just finding a blatant answer without looking at the actual problem.
OR I'm trying to find a problem where there is none. 0_0

Understood. When the taste is known the frustrations to knowledge are... well... frustrating. The best tool i ever came across is the spoken word itself. The "word" in the ancient traditions is the christ-consciousness. It can be creatively released through all the subtle energy centers including the throat chakra in the spoken word. Whatever is held in thought and feeling can be amplified greatly by the spoken word, most especially if you begin to feel the flow of the Presence. That's why i find mantras and affirmations effective because if the mind wanders it can be brought back to the intent of the spoken word.

The word I considered to be the most pretentious of all. It's a matter of the signified being lost in the signifier. Back to Zen, you understand. True intention, yet again, comes from a source I can't name properly.
I think the problem is that when there isn't a name for it, a term, some handle, then one forgets, and that is the realy misery.

Be my guest...

...