Personal attacks (conducted on this forum)

Wormhole · 08-06-2009, 12:45 AM

Wow.

I thought I'd just talk about something I do that makes it easier to respond to "hard" posts that may seem emotionally charged.

First, I just read the post and let my first impression guide me, I do not react, I just feel and write nothing. Then I reread the post and imagine that I'm the one who wrote it and use my own internal voice as the narration. I put my self in their shoes so to speak. Through doing this I have realized that nine times out of ten, the other person just wants their opinion to be respected... not to get into a fight.

If we state our opinions (as we should) keep in mind how it will be read by another reader, keep in mind that the person who writes a post feels strongly about what they are saying. Try to be that person for a few minutes so that you can understand where they are coming from...

Then respond. After all, we are all ONE.

I have no doubt that we will get it together and continue on in a way that is complimentary and respectful to ALL opinions without demeaning anyone. It is very important that we have the freedom to do so, and it is also very important that we do not abuse our freedom and thus retain an open and peaceful forum.

Peace of mind,
Wormhole

Anchor · 08-06-2009, 12:49 AM

@Wormhole: Thanks - that is indeed the spirit.

Unified Serenity · 08-06-2009, 01:19 AM

You know what's funny, is reading how we should couch our responses in phrases such as "in my opinion" or something like this. In college we were trained to speak in active voice and not say things that are obvious. If someone is sharing their thoughts then it is "their opinion" and it's like heads, we all have one.

Some have a more aggressive nature to their posts, and some have a more humorous tone. I have been told that I speak in authoritative tone by my partner and others, and I accept that. I don't share things which I have not spent some time researching. I also am very open minded to hear what others have to say, and never take the approach that I have all the answers.

The one thing I try to never do is call names or assume anything about another person who generously has given of themselves and chosen to embark on exposing themselves by posting as well. I imagine there are so many others who could share, but choose not to because of the negative attacks that can ensue. Flaming is obvious and I for one whether I agree with one's point of view do not appreciate negative energy aimed a myself or others who are sharing their views, and would ask that all such posts be edited or deleted as it does nothing to further growth of those reading. It is also a favorite disinfo tactic to turn posts negative and belittle others opinions and try to malign their possible affect on those reading the posts of the one maligned.

I would not wish the job of moderator on anyone. I have moderated many forums online and it is a thankless job. It is not the honor many think it is because of the decisions and attacks mods have to face... often in pm's. I salute all the moderators no matter their views for taking on the job (usually on a voluntary basis).

mudra · 10-19-2009, 02:13 PM

As a personal reflexion " It is not until you have been challenged with despise , misunderstanding and rejection that you come to know what staying grounded in your heart , forgiveness and compassion really means " .
I 've read a book once about a monk in tibet who was captured and tortured for month by the Chinese army . What really striked and impressed me in her attitude was the equanimity she managed to keep all along and not at any given moment having responded to hatred by hatred .
If people who have undergone such cruelty and hardship can behave like this there is a lot we can learn in our daily human relations where the challenges we get are so much milder.
It takes great mastery of self to avoid a stimulus response based reaction ..to keep one's temper in check and to act with clarity of heart.
I understand some people are more of a " warrior " type . This is fine but then also I believe it should contained within the bounderies of a code of honor and decency towards our fellow human beings.
Arguments should not to started with the intention to kill each others head off but always been directed as bringing Light.

Love Always
mudra

no caste · 10-19-2009, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudra

Arguments should not to started with the intention to kill each others head off but always been directed as bringing Light.

Some people don't like light, and it's difficult to talk to them when it's shining so bright. It can be blinding as an interrogator's beam. Intimate talk is better in the dark.

mudra · 10-19-2009, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by no caste

Some people don't like light, and it's difficult to talk to them when it's shining so bright. It can be blinding as an interrogator's beam. Intimate talk is better in the dark.

Yes you are quite right . I can understand that too . Maybe it's all about finding the right atonement to one another and to strive for balance.
Thanks

Love Always
mudra

P4BL0 · 10-19-2009, 02:47 PM

.

BROOK · 10-19-2009, 02:59 PM

everyone should play nice
The world would be a better place
It would be like Magick

mudra · 10-19-2009, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BROOK

[COLOR=Plum][I][B]

Looks like a lovely game there Brook. Can I have a go ?

My Love for You always
mudra

P4BL0 · 10-19-2009, 03:08 PM

.

mudra · 10-19-2009, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by P4BL0

Yes that is true.
We should all play nice and respect each other.
Even thou sometimes we completely miss the point.
Understanding one another some times it isn't an easy thing,
specially when people have different characters.
Tolerance is a good thing.

I think the more we keep playing the game of being nice and have respect for one another the better we will become at it.
Lets just keep practising despite our differences.

Love Always
mudr

Ross H · 10-19-2009, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudra

I think the more we keep playing the game of being nice and have respect for one another the better we will become at it.
Lets just keep practising despite our differences.

Love Always
mudr

Flow like water...dont take anything personally, everyone has the right to say what they wish, their choice, how we respond is our choice...

"THE FOUR AGREEMENTS" IS A WORTHY READ!

respect and understanding go a long way towards ones journey.

peace

Ross

Zeddo · 10-19-2009, 11:27 PM

Z0001

mudra · 10-20-2009, 11:02 PM

That was a long post Zeddo but as always I enjoyed reading it all.

Silence ...right very important to find the garden of the soul ..

Smile ...so true ..I remember about 10 years undergoing the darkness of the soul . I felt so depressed as my life was breaking to pieces..As I was walking down the street I crossed a girl that gave me the most beautifull smile I ever got . This felt like pure adrenalin ..a straight line to my heart that got instantly rekindled. I always remembered what that girl did for me and I pay it forward ever since .

and then we could add humor and laughter...that breaks apart the walls we are sometimes enclosing ourselves into ...start laughing and you'll soon see we are ONE

Love Always
mudra

Zeddo · 10-22-2009, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudra

and then we could add humor and laughter...that breaks apart the walls we are sometimes enclosing ourselves into ...start laughing and you'll soon see we are ONE

Love Always
mudra

I am still smiling after watching that .....brilliant thanks Mudra !!!

mudra · 10-22-2009, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeddo

I am still smiling after watching that .....brilliant thanks Mudra !!!

I am smiling and laughing with You Zeddo

Love Always
mudra

Truthseeker360 · 11-20-2009, 03:08 PM

nameless · 12-21-2009, 01:01 PM

Hi, I'm new to this forum and already I am worried as It seems free speech and opinion and controversial discussion seem to be edited and policed here as in the so called "real world". #
wow

I am disappointed because in a world where media control and enforced social suggestion is the norm, we who feel "awake" or opposed to these evils should play the same game. Surely if someone's views which evoke controversy and ill feeling enough for these views to be expressed and then the result of which requires people to be "protected" then this may go someway to show the level of confused communication we are dealing with and its inbalance as a form of perceived and irefutable communication. (Again this is why we have develop an omnilogical understanding of crop circles, but i digress)

The irony seems to be lost on alot of you.
The term Karma seems to be misquoted, misused and invoked like a trump card without true consideration to its use, for if you truely understood Karma you again would understand the use of it in this context and its ironic and paradoxical implication.

Please, I need convincing that this forum is not another waste of time. There are too many of these forums with people petty squabling, mis-perceiveing and expounding control and views about a "written universe". We are explorers, there are no truths, nothing is true and everything is permitted. Allow people to express their views no matter the consequence. A heavy dose of cynacism and conjecture is needed, we have to test everything and open it up to debate otherwise we are the same as FOX news.

Omega · 12-24-2009, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nameless

nothing is true and everything is permitted.

Ah yes... The last words of Hassan i Sabbah, Old Man of the Mountain

Leunamros · 12-24-2009, 02:36 AM

this could be all a make up to instill fear. Being the victim and the agressors part of the plot.

We can be as paranoids as we want here, isnt that correct?.

KathyT · 12-29-2009, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nameless

Hi, I'm new to this forum and already I am worried as It seems free speech and opinion and controversial discussion seem to be edited and policed here as in the so called "real world". #
wow

I am disappointed because in a world where media control and enforced social suggestion is the norm, we who feel "awake" or opposed to these evils should play the same game. Surely if someone's views which evoke controversy and ill feeling enough for these views to be expressed and then the result of which requires people to be "protected" then this may go someway to show the level of confused communication we are dealing with and its inbalance as a form of perceived and irefutable communication. (Again this is why we have develop an omnilogical understanding of crop circles, but i digress)

The irony seems to be lost on alot of you.
The term Karma seems to be misquoted, misused and invoked like a trump card without true consideration to its use, for if you truely understood Karma you again would understand the use of it in this context and its ironic and paradoxical implication.

Please, I need convincing that this forum is not another waste of time. There are too many of these forums with people petty squabling, mis-perceiveing and expounding control and views about a "written universe". We are explorers, there are no truths, nothing is true and everything is permitted. Allow people to express their views no matter the consequence. A heavy dose of cynacism and conjecture is needed, we have to test everything and open it up to debate otherwise we are the same as FOX news.

nameless: I am a senior member here at AV, and regretfully I can tell you that this forum lost a majority of contributors because it turned to a subscription format. I believe that it has become unbalanced and I absolutely agree with you in that "free speech, opinion and controversial discussion" have been suppressed here.

Time will tell if this forum becomes the forum it use to be many months ago.

Truth can only be found through exploration of ideas from many sides.

Gnosis5 · 12-29-2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathyT

nameless: I am a senior member here at AV, and regretfully I can tell you that this forum lost a majority of contributors because it turned to a subscription format. I believe that it has become unbalanced and I absolutely agree with you in that "free speech, opinion and controversial discussion" have been suppressed here.

Time will tell if this forum becomes the forum it use to be many months ago.

Truth can only be found through exploration of ideas from many sides.

I have not personally experienced that nor am aware of anyone else experiencing that.

Gnosis

Peace of mind · 12-29-2009, 06:40 PM

Ignore them and move on. Some mean people are honestly not aware of the pain they’re causing to others and themselves. Be mindful not to feed into the negativity because what a person puts out they get back. Learn how not to put power into what others say. Once that power is removed you should have no problem dealing with the many personalities on this planet.
In other words…what they eat will not make you defecate.

Peace

Peace of mind · 12-29-2009, 06:44 PM

growing pains...you'll get over it. With practice it becomes easy. I have skin thicker than a basketball.

There's too much beauty in the world to enjoy, don't waste time with energy drainers.

Peace

Peace of mind · 12-29-2009, 06:47 PM

haha, thanks, but i'm sure being you is cool enough. Just becareful where you give your power to...

Peace

08-06-2009, 12:45 AM	#1
Wormhole Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Pacific Northwest Posts: 506	Re: Personal attacks Wow. I thought I'd just talk about something I do that makes it easier to respond to "hard" posts that may seem emotionally charged. First, I just read the post and let my first impression guide me, I do not react, I just feel and write nothing. Then I reread the post and imagine that I'm the one who wrote it and use my own internal voice as the narration. I put my self in their shoes so to speak. Through doing this I have realized that nine times out of ten, the other person just wants their opinion to be respected... not to get into a fight. If we state our opinions (as we should) keep in mind how it will be read by another reader, keep in mind that the person who writes a post feels strongly about what they are saying. Try to be that person for a few minutes so that you can understand where they are coming from... Then respond. After all, we are all ONE. I have no doubt that we will get it together and continue on in a way that is complimentary and respectful to ALL opinions without demeaning anyone. It is very important that we have the freedom to do so, and it is also very important that we do not abuse our freedom and thus retain an open and peaceful forum. Peace of mind, Wormhole

08-06-2009, 12:49 AM	#2
Anchor Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia Posts: 2,280	Re: Personal attacks @Wormhole: Thanks - that is indeed the spirit.

08-06-2009, 01:19 AM	#3
Unified Serenity Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 893	Re: Personal attacks You know what's funny, is reading how we should couch our responses in phrases such as "in my opinion" or something like this. In college we were trained to speak in active voice and not say things that are obvious. If someone is sharing their thoughts then it is "their opinion" and it's like heads, we all have one. Some have a more aggressive nature to their posts, and some have a more humorous tone. I have been told that I speak in authoritative tone by my partner and others, and I accept that. I don't share things which I have not spent some time researching. I also am very open minded to hear what others have to say, and never take the approach that I have all the answers. The one thing I try to never do is call names or assume anything about another person who generously has given of themselves and chosen to embark on exposing themselves by posting as well. I imagine there are so many others who could share, but choose not to because of the negative attacks that can ensue. Flaming is obvious and I for one whether I agree with one's point of view do not appreciate negative energy aimed a myself or others who are sharing their views, and would ask that all such posts be edited or deleted as it does nothing to further growth of those reading. It is also a favorite disinfo tactic to turn posts negative and belittle others opinions and try to malign their possible affect on those reading the posts of the one maligned. I would not wish the job of moderator on anyone. I have moderated many forums online and it is a thankless job. It is not the honor many think it is because of the decisions and attacks mods have to face... often in pm's. I salute all the moderators no matter their views for taking on the job (usually on a voluntary basis).

10-19-2009, 02:13 PM	#4
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Personal attacks As a personal reflexion " It is not until you have been challenged with despise , misunderstanding and rejection that you come to know what staying grounded in your heart , forgiveness and compassion really means " . I 've read a book once about a monk in tibet who was captured and tortured for month by the Chinese army . What really striked and impressed me in her attitude was the equanimity she managed to keep all along and not at any given moment having responded to hatred by hatred . If people who have undergone such cruelty and hardship can behave like this there is a lot we can learn in our daily human relations where the challenges we get are so much milder. It takes great mastery of self to avoid a stimulus response based reaction ..to keep one's temper in check and to act with clarity of heart. I understand some people are more of a " warrior " type . This is fine but then also I believe it should contained within the bounderies of a code of honor and decency towards our fellow human beings. Arguments should not to started with the intention to kill each others head off but always been directed as bringing Light. Love Always mudra

10-19-2009, 02:47 PM	#7
P4BL0 Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 399	Re: Personal attacks . Last edited by P4BL0; 10-26-2009 at 07:55 AM.

10-19-2009, 02:59 PM	#8
BROOK Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,117	Re: Personal attacks everyone should play nice The world would be a better place It would be like Magick

10-19-2009, 03:08 PM	#10
P4BL0 Banned Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 399	Re: Personal attacks . Last edited by P4BL0; 10-26-2009 at 07:33 AM.

10-19-2009, 11:27 PM	#13
Zeddo Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 694	Re: Personal attacks Z0001 Last edited by Zeddo; 10-28-2009 at 07:37 PM.

10-20-2009, 11:02 PM	#14
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Personal attacks That was a long post Zeddo but as always I enjoyed reading it all. Silence ...right very important to find the garden of the soul .. Smile ...so true ..I remember about 10 years undergoing the darkness of the soul . I felt so depressed as my life was breaking to pieces..As I was walking down the street I crossed a girl that gave me the most beautifull smile I ever got . This felt like pure adrenalin ..a straight line to my heart that got instantly rekindled. I always remembered what that girl did for me and I pay it forward ever since . and then we could add humor and laughter...that breaks apart the walls we are sometimes enclosing ourselves into ...start laughing and you'll soon see we are ONE Love Always mudra

11-20-2009, 03:08 PM	#17
Truthseeker360 Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In the hearts of those who love me Posts: 331	Re: Personal attacks

12-21-2009, 01:01 PM	#18
nameless Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 41	Re: Personal attacks (conducted on this forum) Hi, I'm new to this forum and already I am worried as It seems free speech and opinion and controversial discussion seem to be edited and policed here as in the so called "real world". # wow I am disappointed because in a world where media control and enforced social suggestion is the norm, we who feel "awake" or opposed to these evils should play the same game. Surely if someone's views which evoke controversy and ill feeling enough for these views to be expressed and then the result of which requires people to be "protected" then this may go someway to show the level of confused communication we are dealing with and its inbalance as a form of perceived and irefutable communication. (Again this is why we have develop an omnilogical understanding of crop circles, but i digress) The irony seems to be lost on alot of you. The term Karma seems to be misquoted, misused and invoked like a trump card without true consideration to its use, for if you truely understood Karma you again would understand the use of it in this context and its ironic and paradoxical implication. Please, I need convincing that this forum is not another waste of time. There are too many of these forums with people petty squabling, mis-perceiveing and expounding control and views about a "written universe". We are explorers, there are no truths, nothing is true and everything is permitted. Allow people to express their views no matter the consequence. A heavy dose of cynacism and conjecture is needed, we have to test everything and open it up to debate otherwise we are the same as FOX news.

12-24-2009, 02:36 AM	#20
Leunamros Project Avalon Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 145	Re: Personal attacks (conducted on this forum) this could be all a make up to instill fear. Being the victim and the agressors part of the plot. We can be as paranoids as we want here, isnt that correct?.

12-29-2009, 06:40 PM	#23
Peace of mind Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: The uncharted consciousness Posts: 311	Re: Personal attacks (conducted on this forum) Ignore them and move on. Some mean people are honestly not aware of the pain they’re causing to others and themselves. Be mindful not to feed into the negativity because what a person puts out they get back. Learn how not to put power into what others say. Once that power is removed you should have no problem dealing with the many personalities on this planet. In other words…what they eat will not make you defecate. Peace

12-29-2009, 06:44 PM	#24
Peace of mind Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: The uncharted consciousness Posts: 311	Re: Personal attacks (conducted on this forum) growing pains...you'll get over it. With practice it becomes easy. I have skin thicker than a basketball. There's too much beauty in the world to enjoy, don't waste time with energy drainers. Peace

12-29-2009, 06:47 PM	#25
Peace of mind Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: The uncharted consciousness Posts: 311	Re: Personal attacks (conducted on this forum) haha, thanks, but i'm sure being you is cool enough. Just becareful where you give your power to... Peace Last edited by Peace of mind; 12-29-2009 at 06:50 PM.