Book of Gregor

[whalerider]

Does the name Kurt Lazaro mean anything to you? Just curious.

[GregorArturo]

Originally Posted by whalerider

Does the name Kurt Lazaro mean anything to you? Just curious.

If that's being directed toward me, then no, the name doesn't ring a bell.

[GregorArturo]

Part IV - "Leaving the Cave"

As the school year ended that Spring, I began spending much more of my time reading and researching material, turning more and more into a hermit, locking myself away from society. The more I seemed to learn, the less I felt I could connect to society. I was drifting away from my family and friends. Bouts of sanity started, and my mind seemed to be going in all directions. I really didn't know what to think anymore. Anytime I seemed to touch alcohol in this period, I would never be able to have more than a few drinks, because I would always feel the anger come over me. My true emotions would come out, and they seemed to always be so chaotic and scary.

The past several years I had been developing intellectually by the most means, with the traditional understanding of intelligence referring to knowledge. However, the analytical part of my mind was most dominant. Over the past year, poi had developed me physically, helping me reconnect with my body for the first time since a kid. And for the most part, I was socially developed. I say for the most part, as I get 'lost' in conversation sometimes. It's just the way my brain works with all the [thought] tangents bombarding me all the time (as of lately though, it happens pretty rarely).

However, for long time I had been emotionally sheltered. My relationships with girls were bland at most and never seemed to go anywhere. My parents weren't the most emotionally comforting, neither were my friends. There was Binney though. I will note Binney is her childhood nickname and likes to be called Kathryn now, as she'll probably be reading this at some point. I met Binney the first day I moved to Scarborough and we had an on and off relationship as friends throughout high school. We were from two different social groups at the time, and you all don't need me to elaborate on that social structure.

She had moved to Florida also after high school and lived only a half hour north of me, which we eventually figured out one day online through good old instant messaging, right after I had moved into to my first house. We started hanging out again for the first time in a couple years. Binney and I had a lot of late nights up talking about pretty open minded topics, most specifically spiritually. At times we'd systematically tackle the subject together, and others we'd compare and to each others experiences.

Binney helped me develop the emotional side of me, through thought and experience. This side to me is what some would refer to as the "heart chakra." There are several other key friendships I've had with girls (I Just discussed this with my friend next to me, and she agrees the term 'girls' works here ).

I just came to a realization in that if I proceed further, I need to bring my good friend 'Infinity' on board. Some people will just call this 'math' or others 'logic' or 'deductive reasoning'. Words are of little importance here. I've taken seven years of French up to now without a huge success. A year of Latin did go much better here. The rare chance where you get to meet a 'true' teacher and shows their passion with their word, and knows how to bring life into something old and forgotten. School was plagued with repetition for me, and tended to teach me more about human behavior then college accredited knowledge. Before I continue to go off on this stray tangent of emotional outburst (oh, the irony), I must get back to my point: Good ole (note the number three here) mathematical theory.

Maybe this can clarify some ideas as I wrote it earlier this week:
It's a sad thing if one thinks they can't find 'truths' within one own self. Almost all my philosophical concepts I have developed on my own completely outside of other influences. I wrote a paper that is for the most part identical to Plato's allegory of the cave, before I even knew it existed. 2500 years apart, and developing the exact same thoughts about 'universal truths' then god damnit that has to be some serious universal truths! Here's a lesson people in universal truth. If you were born, and thrown into a jail cell from birth with no reference material (ie holy books) and able to figure something out without any outside influences, like here's a rat, oh and there's another rat, a little bit fatter, but still another rat. OMG wait, that's two rats! Then there you go, that's a universal truth. And thus, the two rat void the fat concept was born!

I hope a was able to connect you to this notion in an abstract way, because in it's essence, it is an abstract concept. So first one needs to accept the intrinsic nature of math, and well, vice versa. They are one in the same. That is something that words cannot 'prove' to you, as the numbers easy do that themselves. So lets break down infinity to the number line. This can then be broken down further into let's say positive, negative, and zero. Zero is what one would consider balance and harmony. The polarity aspects of life [positive and negative] can be found all across the board. A common aspect of this in nature, and not exclusively biological nature, is that of the sexes. And easier way to reference the broader scope of this at hand is the masculine and feminine energies. A basic understanding of balancing these energies (ie male + female = 0) can be seen in why we seek relationships. These energies are not predetermined necessarily by biology, but are an influence. And well, these energies exist within each of us, just at different levels. My close relationships with girls in my life truly helped develop this side of me.

So back to Binney.

Anyways, come towards the end of the school year we started hangout again on a regular basis as her stay in Florida had only lasted less than six months [and moved back home thereafter]. Binney would come over usually sometime in the late evening, after hanging out with her girls and getting out of work being she was a waitress.

I want to stay here on the record. Binney, wait... Kathryn is one of the beautiful and honest persons I have ever met. However, she has always seems to be plagued with the consistent bad luck. And I've never felt she has deserved any of it. Something I've had a hard time understanding why and wished it wasn't so. I am not going to dive into this any further.

Binney helped bring some faith you could say for me back into society, pull me out of his hermit head thinking. I was learning to balance myself, and function as a more productive person on every level.

Technically, we're still at the end of last spring (2008). But at the end of last spring, I went to another Wildfire. This time my experience was just as eye opening in terms of discovering myself as I continued to learn from these unique experiences [but of common lessons]. I had drove down to Connecticut this time, with a fire spinner who lived north of me in Bangor and had been seeing on and off that fall. Our lives at the moment [along with the distance] made it more into an occasional but rather enjoyable relationship. In the Spring, we ended up not seeing each other for awhile. We had continued to try to make plans in the winter into the spring, but for the most part, the snow kept us apart. Portland had the most snowfall on record that winter, as the snow was reaching the tops of people's roofs throughout Maine.

I was really excited to see her, and go to the festival with her. However, I had a hard time expressing my emotions during the beginning of the trip you could say. I basically sent her the wrong vibes. That first night at Wildfire I could feel that our flame wouldn't be rekindled. I believe she hooked up with someone that night (along with sorta standing me up that night too, but no hard feelings as I still think she's a wonderful bright person). Anyways, that night I was in the tent by myself rather frustrated and tried to meditate (I'm not sure if I said I started to meditate on a regular basis I'm probably going to have to rearrange this piece, but I'm missing some serious points/changes in my life right before my 'council of elders' dream. Mainly to do with my experiences trying to meditate on a daily basis. Keyword trying, but nonetheless successful.). It was one of the hardest times ever for meditating for me up to that point, the emotions were overwhelming at points, but slowly I worked through the 'layers' in a short period of time and was able to get to sleep that night.

That morning, I wanted to meditate for a much longer time, as last night really only calmed me down at the moment. I wanted to work through the situation in a positive means and have a straight rational heard for this coming day. It was around seven in the morning when I got up. There was no one awake for myself, or so it seemed. I got my stuff together, and went to the main field area with the dining hall. I found a big boulder rock overlooking the lake, and lit a giant (I mean giant! It lasted for over four hours!) piece of incense and sat down to meditate. I noticed someone else over at the lake practicing what it looked like to be Tai Chi. All he was wearing was a pair of Thai pants. I then entered one of the greatest meditative experiences of my life.

Forty-five minutes later I opened my eyes feeling completely refreshed and ready for an absolutely exhilarating day. As I jumped off the stone, the man who was practicing Tai Chi had finished himself as was walking up the hill toward me.

He came up to me and offered his hand out introducing himself as 'Tim'. He immediately wanted to apologize for his remarks toward me to a conversation we had online on a discussion board. For the most part, it was a complete miscommunication with each other, and we both realized this. We immediately ended getting into deep conversation right after that, and it led to one off the greatest fifteen minute discussions I've ever had.

Someone who at one point had become very angry at, was now someone I was enjoyed a very intellectually stimulating conversation with. We both easily realized we had a 'moment' with each other. For the rest of the festival, we continued to have conversations on and off, along with myself taking his "The Tao of Poi" class.

At lunch, I ended up eating outside with a group of people I was somewhat familiar with, but got into conversation with them no problem at all. People were very open on all levels with discussion. It was an atmosphere full of positivity and friendliness. No one was by means shy. Just like Abby.

Everyone got up at the table almost at once, and these were two eight ten foot long picnic tables pushed together. I was sitting on the end of one.

After everyone gets up, I hear "Where you from in Maine?"

I look at the other end of this table, and there's this cute girl smiling at me. "Outside of Portland, in Scarborough." I responded. It turned out she has family there, and we began talking. After a few sentences, I moved down to her end, and we started talking face to face. From that moment on, the rest was magic.

The next few days with this girl was speechless. I felt like I had completely transcended into another world of absolute bliss. My day had started out from going from depressing **** to pure joy.

After the festival, I continued to see Abby almost on a weekly basis, as I would take the bus or train down to Boston to see her. She was a student at Boston University. We resonated extremely well with each other, but alas like most things, it was short lived. Knowledge can sometimes hurt. But what can come from it, is so much beautiful. Thank you Abby for that.

The summer came as I spent most of my time performing, mainly doing solo shows as the circus had fallen apart. I had picked up mainly various performing arts to extend and build upon my act: Fire staff, fire breathing, and contact juggling (David Bowie in 'Labyrinth' ring a bell?). They were things I mostly had picked up last fall at Wildfire, even though I had started fooling around with a staff a little bit before then that August [of 2007].

I'd usually perform Friday nights in downtown Portland in a stone park. I'd start after sunset, usually sometime after eight, and go for up to two hours, sometimes longer. Performing by myself had one big advantage, as I was making over forty dollars an hour at times in cash. With the circus, we'd split the earnings all evenly. It would really tire me out, and I usually would retreat back home to pass out, but it was working me out like nothing you could believe.

The first few days of August I went to my third BelTek, an art and music festival in Central Maine, usually more commonly referred to as a rave. This time it was much bigger than the previous years, almost twice the attendance, totaling over 1,200 people from all over New England. Previously, it usually consisted of mostly Mainers and I could say the vibes were much more positive then. College students from Massachuetts and New York seemed to definitely change the 'feel' of the festival that year.

However, I was on the flyer that had been handed out for the past several months, and was the main visual performance. My performances were of an absolute phenomenal nature. I was thoroughly impressed with myself and pride of my work. I have not gotten so many 'thank yous' from people that night which I greatly prefer over 'the idolizing of my skills'. I want to share the beauty of the moment, nothing more.

This was the first time at a festival where I remained for the most part sober. I smoked a little herb and had some wine, but didn't touch any of the stronger psychedelics. I had to take in account performing with fire in extremely large groups [of very inebriated people], but [the now common theme of usually] being broke came into most effect with the sobriety.

This allowed me to see a different side of humanity, positive and negative. It definitely made me appreciate and respect psychedelics much much more for what they were, and how to appropriately use them. I had grown the understanding over the past few years in how important they are to be treated as tools, in the view of learning and enjoyment, but not within a purely recreational perspective. As I had for myself in the past, people were primarily using them as an 'escape' from the realm of mundane society. I saw very few if any any 'light bulbs' going off in the ravers and trippers, before, during, and after their experience. The old philosophy from high school of "getting f-ed up" still existed through the majority of people. It seemed like I was on my own in my unique perspective. I still had sometime to realize patience with my fellow members of humanity, along with respect and understanding for the way things were.

Right around the same time, I started an art gallery with a co-op of artists. My works I have displayed so far in it consist only of my photography. Up to this point, I have shared very little of my artistic side besides several short references to it. In seventh grade, I discovered my passion for wildlife photography in capturing unique perspectives of nature. As of just recently, I realized my use of balance and implementing phi (the golden ratio) into my works is why my work stood out with a lot of people. I loved doing macro photography, getting pictures of the small yet intricate world around us. I took a particular interest with spiders and their webs. This summer I got my hands on my first true digital SLR (photo quality was still great with my old work), a Nikon D60. A started to drift toward a new subject manner, and do to the amount of rain we had this summer (one of the wettest also on record), I began mushroom hunting a bunch.

In Florida a few years ago, I had started to go mushroom hunting in cow fields for obvious reasons. I grew to love the hunt, even though I rarely had any luck. In the process though, mycology (the study of fungi) began to really interest me.

In Maine, there were hallucinogenic mushrooms, but as I soon realized they were pretty rare (except for Amanita Muscaria, but that's another story for another day). I did discover that there were many different species of edible mushrooms, along with beautiful but deadly mushrooms scattered around. The small but serious intent of danger was there which I thrived on, just like my days of racing. However, I approached the matter in a very responsible and logical fashion. As you can see, I am still alive to this day with no ill side effects ever experienced (and was worth every bite of yummy juiciness). That summer, I took over a thousand pictures of mushrooms and fungi alone, with an estimated three hundred different species. On the last day of August, I had an art show at a local wine bar [where I was a regular at and had met Keith]. My main exhibit were photographs of Maine fungi. I also had other pieces of art media along with much more wildlife photography from throughout the years. I even released my first book at it. A fifty plus page book of my artwork and philosophical writings mixed together called "If Time is an Illusion...". However, due to printing problems, I didn't have any solid copies (I've been trying to resolve that actually as of lately in getting a bunch made. Hopefully, I can maybe add this piece too to the printing press.). The work stayed up for the entire month of September, and overall my exhibit was a huge success in terms of appreciation. But to our now ailing economy, I managed to sell only one piece of work.

A couple nights before this, I had a most unusual and wonderful experience with yet another girl. Since the full moon in the end of July, many strange things had started to happen in my life, but for the most part in a completely positive aspects (I ended up getting into quite a few discussions with people up to even weeks after this 'full moon' who had something interesting and peculiar with the day, and half the time I wasn't even the first to mention it). There was an overwhelming amount of synchronicities that were happening throughout each and every day. As soon as you began to recognize them, you couldn't help but notice how integral they were to your daily life. I began meeting an many different types of people in a very interconnected and spontaneous type a way. My social patterns had seemed to of been dramatically accelerated, especially in terms of the positive and meaningful relationships that I was making. The same went for figuring out who I was in relation to the world. I began to realize the inherent 'interconnectedness' of reality. With this new philosophy to look out upon things, September catapulted me into a crusade never undertaken by me within the mind. I was 'waking up' to the true nature of reality.

...Part V to come tomorrow most likely, and will focus on the present moment and the potential paths to come. Thanks for reading!

[Allie]

Interesting synchronicities

The luminous white-robed men .....when I've tried to describe them I've used the terms 'biblical-looking', and/or 'a bit like the ancient Greeks'

My nickname - given by a couple of my social groups is 'Athena'

[GregorArturo]

Part V - "Synchronicity within the Moment"

Within in the realm of mathematics, one would begin to notice patterns, relations between numbers and functions. The emergence of constants become fundamental with the understanding such as with pi and phi. For numbers are by no means about the symbol and which they represent, because on they're on they are essentially nothing. It is about the relation of these numbers to each other. Learning your multipication table and factors are one of the most important things you can ever learn about with mathematics.

In math, there are very important concepts which can be shown almost entirely which decimal parity. Decimal parity is taking a number and reducing it to its base number, anywhere from 1-9. Zero is technically not considered a number, but lack or absence of a number. For example, let's take the lovely date of 2012: 2+0+1+2 = 5. You also continue to reduce the number when the first answer isn't a simple 1 digit number as with 48: 4 + 8 = 12, 1 + 2 = 3. When one does this fashion with the entire positive spectrum of a number line a dominant pattern emerges, and branches out to many other patterns. This is also proves that the base-10 system is in fact natural. The reason being that all multiples of nine, equal nine when reduced with decimal parity. 9 = 9, 18 = 1 + 8 = 9, 27 = 2 + 7 = 9, 36 = 3 + 6 = 9, and so on for the rest of infinity! All multiples of ten, continue the forward progression with decimal parity by +1 (ten is one, twenty is two, and so on...).

Now with this notion, all mathematics are numbers are intrinsically interconnected in this natural pattern. Especially things like prime numbers and even the divine constants.

To take this even a larger step further, if we live in a mathematical existence, where patterns and similarities naturally exist and are intrinsically interrelated, then so is the tangible and physical side of reality.

To some, this may seem like a brash statement, but I need implore its truth trough deductive reasoning, THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES IN THIS REALITY! Thus we proceed onto the discussion of synchronicity and its further role in my life.

And right now I am laughing so friggin hard I cannot express myself as the time is 3:43. Life is indeed perfect. I'll continue then with the discussion I wished to start at this very moment (and the first time I have ever wrote down this story). The first time I ever noticed a coincidence, correction synchronicity, in my life and actually thought about it was when I was seven years old. The number 343 began appearing everywhere in my life. What sealed the deal was when I had this little McDonald's today and on the bottom of it was the number 343, nothing else. I was asking myself why am I seeing this number everywhere? I came to the conclusion that this was my lucky number, and it has been for the rest of my life, continuing to appear over and over again. Another number that began to appear also in my life was 37, and I took this as my backup or secondary lucky number at around the exact same age. Also, keep this number in mind as it's important down the road, along with being it's a prime number.

The usual 'debunker' argument to this notion is that because it's in your mainframe of perspective, you will just notice it more as these numbers exist everywhere. It is a legit argument but I beg to differ. One must take into place the mathematical concept of statistics as it is very useful for rationalizing situations in your life, within synchronicites and scenarios that may unfold (which will lead one to making the most rational decision).

And if you then analyze these synchronicites and the potential of them happening over and over again, the odds become absolutely astronomical. I recently had a mind blowing synchronicity in which I was able to directly analyze it in pure mathematical terms. The possibilities of that happening were 1.8 million to 1. Also, the direct implications of this synchronicity were revolutionary. Due to the length of that story, I am going to have to omit it for another time.

This previous September in 2008, I decided to figure out the significance of this number in my life. I typed in "the number 343" on Google and hit search. The first result came back; "The Number 343: The Ark of God." The article went on to explain the mathematical significance of the number and its direction relation to the bible with one of the most famous relics of all time and considered by archeologists to be one of the greatest treasures to history if ever found (Yes, Indiana Jones is another love of mine too. You can usually find me sporting his hat, but instead of wool, it's a leather fedora.). I discovered that 343 = 7 x 7 x 7, or 7 to the third power (7^3). The article also explained how the number 343 represents the significance of the numbers 3 and 7, and their intrinsic relationship. I immediately then made the connection with the number 37. As I later discovered the existence of decimal parity [along with its universal implications], that 343 = 3+4+3 = 10 = 1 + 0 and that 37 = 3 + 7 = 1 (Life always come back to one, the essence of everything). The odds alone of me choosing two numbers with the same decimal parity is 81 to 1. I also wanted to point this out if you didn't notice, but I discovered these numbers when I was seven.

Now let's analyze this information that is 'supposedly' being handed down to me by some divine or subliminal message. Seven is one of the foundational numbers in existence. It is referenced in practically every major creation story on the planet with respects to the seven days of creation. Within New Age theology [and also Buddhism], the body is composed of seven spiritual organs which in turn relates to the seven densities of life [in which conscienceness evolves along]. Of even more importance, seven is the most geometrically stable shape in the second dimension consisting of six around one, or in the appearance of six triangles that make up a hexagon which can be put in an infinite repetitive pattern. Triangles make us this building block which is built upon the number 3. Quartz crystals which are considered by the ancients among those in modern day spiritual theology as one of the most fundamental of crystals, or even simpler terms, [fundamental] entities. Quartz crystals are hexagonal crystals built upon molecular structure of silicon dioxide (one part silicon, two parts oxygen). The atomic numbers of quartz are 14 and 8, in respect to the elements. Thus the decimal parity of quartz is 14+8+8 = 30 = 3+0 = 3. Within the individual elements added together, 14 = 1+4 = 5, then 5+8+8 = 21 = 2 + 1 = 3.

My point being is that mathematical concepts are intrinsically related into ALL aspects of reality, both tangible and intangible. Mathematics is indeed the true language of the universe, whether you realize it yet or not. Our definition of human beauty is based on phi proportions. The ratio of the distance from the eye to the nose, in relation to the eye to the mount is phi, or 1.618. The so called 'beautiful' people of our society exhibit this ratio absolutely perfectly, while those we deem 'ugly' are ones where there face don't match those proportions.

All in all, my revelations with this notion began to induce an entirely new perspective for me throughout life. To conclude my point, the Ark of God was suppose to hold the "Word of God." As most intellectuals realize, ancient scriptures are not false, but purely metaphorical in truth. Their purpose is to teach 'divine' lessons. Well, the number 343 revealed to me the "Word of God", in understanding the divine structure of the universe.

I want to relate one final experience with those who have read up to the point, and I greatly appreciate you for the time you spent in listening to another ones life story. Yesterday, October 29th, 2008, was one of the most enlightening days of my life. And I would like to especially thank my friend Taryn for it. Taryn I met back in high school, and went on 'burn cruises' on and off, driving around the back roads of Scarborough smoking pot. I ended up running into her at school this year, and found out we took the bus from one campus to another on two of the same days of the week. So for a half hour each on these days, her and I sat together and talked. These conversations quickly with from the 'normal' everyday conversations into metaphysics, conspiracy theories, and other 'fringe' subjects. Many people picked on Taryn on high school for being 'dumb', and got the stereotype as I myself had been labeled for being an introvert. She was in fact just the opposite, and what I nicknamed her as "a hidden beauty" because most people assume from her beautiful appearance on the outside that there's nothing there on the inside. Anyways, Taryn and I began hanging out on a daily basis while always being consumed in intellectual conversation. We were both teaching each other many different and unique lessons, along with sharing pure and simple information.

Taryn had been bugging me over and over to watch "I Heart Huckabee's" and continued to insist it wasn't a chick flick. I seriously had only watched a couple movies since the semester began as I had fallen out of sync with the entertainment industry. Yesterday, I gave in and we watched it. The movie turned out to be an absolute philosophical masterpiece while being presented in the format of a Greek comedy. It was absolutely brilliant and beautiful in every way, shape, and form. I felt the entire movie was a direct reflection of my life and where it was going, relating to each and every character with different aspects with my own life and with the significant others in my life. Reality slowly melted away and it was just me and the movie. My thoughts consumed everything, and I fell completely into the realm of what I would call 'tripping' however without the use of those so called mushrooms.

At one point, I dove so deep into the material, I blanked out basically. Time and space no longer existed. And I am dead serious when I say it no longer existed. Upon later analysis of this moment, I realized I had gone over to the 'dark side' and had been completely saturated for the first time in my life with the negative polarity. I saw myself as all that there was. However, as I could not become any more extreme in that polarity along with the inherent nature of who I was [and thanks to a catalytic line from the movie then ringing in my ears] I was sucked back into the positive aspect of reality. When the movie was finished, I sat there in utter disbelief. One of Hollywood's creations that I tend to frown upon for distracting America and the world 24/7, had sent me on a roller coaster ride like no other through the deep recesses of my psyche. I viewed the world yet again from a more unified and balanced perspective.

I planned to include a bit more in this part of my story in terms of personal experiences, however, I have a feeling that many people are living very similar lives and beginning to grasp a mutual understanding of our current world situation. We are in epic times with the economical and political structure in one of its most fragile period. Capitalism and the materialistic outlook of society are being put to the test. My life has new meaning and I am learning lessons everyday at a remarkable pace. Life is speeding up on levels, from the macro to microcosms of nature. And with that notion and the understanding of logic, I will put forth that my faith rests with Mayan ideology, in my opinion the greatest mathematicians and cosmologists in Earth's known history. With the understanding of exponential acceleration [in respect to every aspect of society, nature, and conscienceness], one must deduce we will reach its infinite expansion. The question then one must ask, is when?

Namaste.

[GregorArturo]

A note if anyone has already read Part V before the edit. I threw in a section that was very crucial to this piece toward the end regarding my personal experience with Taryn. I really recommending reading that piece. Enjoy! Namaste.

[GregorArturo]

I'm hoping somebody finishes this, and reach the grand finale. I think it really wraps up perfectly and want to hear someones review