More People in Love Than Previously Thought?

giovonni · 03-23-2009, 06:20 PM

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

Publication Date: 20 March 2009 09:15 am ET

Author: CLARA MOSKOWITZ

Source: LiveScience.com

Link: http://www.livescience.com/culture/0...ntic-love.html

Romeo and Juliet would approve: A new study found that romantic love can stand the test of time.

Though it is widely held that romance and sex must ultimately yield to friendly companionship over time, new research found that's not the case. Instead about 13 percent of people reported high levels of romance in their long-term relationships, in a new study published in the March issue of the journal Review of General Psychology.

Researchers analyzed data from surveys of more than 6,000 people, including some in newly-formed pairs and many in marriages of more than 20 years. The scientists found that a surprisingly high number of people were still very much in love with their long-term partners, though the researchers drew a distinction between romantic love, which can endure, and passionate or obsessive love, which often fades after the beginning of a relationship.

"I think generally, in the literature, love has been measured as passionate love, so I think that's one reason for this widely-held assumption that love had to fade in relationships," said Bianca Acevedo, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who authored the study while she was a graduate student at Stony Brook University. "The obsessive component is generally combined with the romantic component. Thought of that way, it looks like it's diminishing, but if you assess the romantic love differently than the obsessive component, it happens for a greater proportion than what was generally thought."

Romantic love has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession, Acevedo said. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.

The new findings could help inspire couples to strive for better relationships, rather than resigning themselves to the inevitability of falling out of love, Acevedo said.

"Being in the mindset that [long-term romance] is probably not something to shoot for might be discouraging to some people," she told LiveScience. "They might think, 'This is probably as good as it gets.' I think it's important for people to at least know that it could be attainable."

What's the trick?

Acevedo and her advisor Arthur Aron are interested in finding out how some couples manage to keep the romance alive. So far, research indicates that it often has to do with pure hard work.

"These people are often very relationship focused," Acevedo said. "Their relationship is something that is very central to their lives, something they spend time on, work on, really care about. They seem to resolve conflicts relatively efficiently and smoothly."

Aron's previous studies suggest that couples who want to give romance a boost can benefit from doing new and challenging activities together. These novel experiences stimulate brains to create the neurochemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, which are also created during the early, exhilarating stages of romantic love.

Evolutionary benefits of love

Researchers debate whether people are really meant to stay in love throughout their lives. Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey, has suggested that passionate love is maladaptive if it lasts too long.

"When people are in the early stages of romantic love, it's very hard for them to focus on other things," Acevedo explained. "They are constantly thinking about the other person. They have a lot of energy; they can stay up all night talking to each other. This can be very metabolically costly, and it's not efficient when it comes to work and relationships. I think this fits in well with the idea that the obsession component has to fade. It's unsustainable to be like that over the years while raising children and having jobs."

However, a certain level of love is beneficial, she said. Having a partner who increases your happiness and comfort is certainly a healthy thing, and being able to trust and rely on someone in difficult situations can improve a person's success in life.

Medical research has demonstrated the physical benefits of loving relationships. People who report being in positive relationships have been shown to be healthier, less stressed, and to have stronger immune systems. And some studies even suggest happily married people live longer than their single counterparts.

Do you agree with this research study?

tribe of light · 03-24-2009, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giovonni

More People in Love Than Previously Thought

...the researchers drew a distinction between romantic love, which can endure, and passionate or obsessive love, which often fades after the beginning of a relationship.

"The obsessive component is generally combined with the romantic component.

Romantic love has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession,

passionate love... includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety.

What's the trick?

Acevedo and her advisor Arthur Aron are interested in finding out how some couples manage to keep the romance alive.

Do you agree with this research study?

whats the trick they ask? well... i call it the rattlesnake wiggle. haha

seriously... the only thing that separates passionate love from romantic love, as defined by this study, is fear.

no fear = great success!

so if you're looking for that special someone to get freaky with, look no further than your own mind, cause if you step out the door this evening wearing your steppin' shoes and your eau de vie, but with a heart full of unnerving doubt until you smooth out with that first shot of Bacardi 151...

you might have a problem!

of course if you're steppin' out this evening and you're feeling in love with life, cause you know yourself, not even the impending sh*t storm of an economic collapse will phase you.

giovonni · 03-24-2009, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tribe of light

whats the trick they ask? well... i call it the rattlesnake wiggle. haha

seriously... the only thing that separates passionate love from romantic love, as defined by this study, is fear.

no fear = great success!

so if you're looking for that special someone to get freaky with, look no further than your own mind, cause if you step out the door this evening wearing your steppin' shoes and your eau de vie, but with a heart full of unnerving doubt until you smooth out with that first shot of Bacardi 151...

you might have a problem!

of course if you're steppin' out this evening and you're feeling in love with life, cause you know yourself, not even the impending sh*t storm of an economic collapse will phase you.

hi tribe

well...
if you're looking for that special someone to get freaky with"........i call it the rattlesnake wiggle....cause if you step out the door this evening wearing your steppin' shoes and your eau de vie, you might have a problem! well...cause you know yourself, until you smooth out with that first shot of Bacardi 151...not even the impending sh*t storm of an economic collapse will phase you..seriously..but with a heart full of unnerving doubt...is fear....the only thing that separates passionate love from romantic love, you know yourself......no fear = great success as defined by this study, whats the trick they ask? look no further than your own mind!

You should have your own advice column

Machinamentum · 03-24-2009, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giovonni

hi tribe

well...
if you're looking for that special someone to get freaky with"........i call it the rattlesnake wiggle....cause if you step out the door this evening wearing your steppin' shoes and your eau de vie, you might have a problem! well...cause you know yourself, until you smooth out with that first shot of Bacardi 151...not even the impending sh*t storm of an economic collapse will phase you..seriously..but with a heart full of unnerving doubt...is fear....the only thing that separates passionate love from romantic love, you know yourself......no fear = great success as defined by this study, whats the trick they ask? look no further than your own mind!

You should have your own advice column

I'm looking for that someone (again) and I definitely know myself, but that doesn't make it any easier, everyone I run into is so.. well.. plugged into the illusion that it's hard to find someone that's been unplugged for as long as I have (that isn't decade older than me). That separation is a big one.

I come to find that there isn't as many other people around that know their self's that well. So I feel like an alien here, maybe I am, don't know.

tribe of light · 03-24-2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Machinamentum

I'm looking for that someone (again) and I definitely know myself, but that doesn't make it any easier, everyone I run into is so.. well.. plugged into the illusion that it's hard to find someone that's been unplugged for as long as I have (that isn't decade older than me). That separation is a big one.

I come to find that there isn't as many other people around that know their self's that well. So I feel like an alien here, maybe I am, don't know.

hey machineamentum...

Here's a little Huang-Po....

"Thus we can encompass all possible worlds, numberless as grains of sand, with our one mind. Then why talk of "inside" and "outside"? Since honey is naturally characterized by sweetness, it follows that all honey is sweet. To speak of this honey as sweet and that honey as bitter would be ridiculous. That is why we say that emptiness has no inside or outside. It arises by itself, spontaneous and absolute.

Ordinary beings are the Buddha, just as they are. The Buddha is one with them. Both have the same nature. The phenomenal universe and nirvana, activity and stillness, [guys and gals] - all have the same nature. So do all possible worlds [3rd/4th dimensions] and the state that transcends all worlds. The beings that pass through the six stages of existence, those who have undergone the four kinds of birth, all the worlds with their vast mountains and rivers, enlightenment and delusion - all of them are the same. When I say that they all have the same nature, I mean that their names and forms, their existence and non-existence, are empty. The vast world-systems, uncountable as the sands of the Ganges, are all contained in the one boundless, empty, radiant mind. How then can there be Buddhas who save or ordinary beings who must be saved? If the true nature of all things is the same, how can such distinctions be real?"

so machineamentum...

know this. the only difference between a waking and a dream state is the perception of time. As such, "reality" is coloured just like your dream state is coloured by your feeling/astral nature.

To change your perceived reality, you need only change the coloration of the perception....

that special someone shares the same nature as YOU, the self before a thought arises. in fact, there is only this one Nature we call Self and everyone is it.

All the waves on the ocean are the ocean. there is only water. you dont need to "go" somewhere to "find" something. The universe does not exist.

i hope the Huang-Po helps and doesnt hinder. There is only the eternally present Presence we call Now which is no different than self-nature before a thought arises. The universe is a holographic reflection.

What colour do you choose?

03-23-2009, 06:20 PM	#1
giovonni Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: within my heart Posts: 1,209	More People in Love Than Previously Thought? More People in Love Than Previously Thought Publication Date: 20 March 2009 09:15 am ET Author: CLARA MOSKOWITZ Source: LiveScience.com Link: http://www.livescience.com/culture/0...ntic-love.html Romeo and Juliet would approve: A new study found that romantic love can stand the test of time. Though it is widely held that romance and sex must ultimately yield to friendly companionship over time, new research found that's not the case. Instead about 13 percent of people reported high levels of romance in their long-term relationships, in a new study published in the March issue of the journal Review of General Psychology. Researchers analyzed data from surveys of more than 6,000 people, including some in newly-formed pairs and many in marriages of more than 20 years. The scientists found that a surprisingly high number of people were still very much in love with their long-term partners, though the researchers drew a distinction between romantic love, which can endure, and passionate or obsessive love, which often fades after the beginning of a relationship. "I think generally, in the literature, love has been measured as passionate love, so I think that's one reason for this widely-held assumption that love had to fade in relationships," said Bianca Acevedo, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who authored the study while she was a graduate student at Stony Brook University. "The obsessive component is generally combined with the romantic component. Thought of that way, it looks like it's diminishing, but if you assess the romantic love differently than the obsessive component, it happens for a greater proportion than what was generally thought." Romantic love has the same intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry as passionate love has, but without the obsession, Acevedo said. Passionate love, on the other hand, includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. The new findings could help inspire couples to strive for better relationships, rather than resigning themselves to the inevitability of falling out of love, Acevedo said. "Being in the mindset that [long-term romance] is probably not something to shoot for might be discouraging to some people," she told LiveScience. "They might think, 'This is probably as good as it gets.' I think it's important for people to at least know that it could be attainable." What's the trick? Acevedo and her advisor Arthur Aron are interested in finding out how some couples manage to keep the romance alive. So far, research indicates that it often has to do with pure hard work. "These people are often very relationship focused," Acevedo said. "Their relationship is something that is very central to their lives, something they spend time on, work on, really care about. They seem to resolve conflicts relatively efficiently and smoothly." Aron's previous studies suggest that couples who want to give romance a boost can benefit from doing new and challenging activities together. These novel experiences stimulate brains to create the neurochemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, which are also created during the early, exhilarating stages of romantic love. Evolutionary benefits of love Researchers debate whether people are really meant to stay in love throughout their lives. Helen Fisher, a professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey, has suggested that passionate love is maladaptive if it lasts too long. "When people are in the early stages of romantic love, it's very hard for them to focus on other things," Acevedo explained. "They are constantly thinking about the other person. They have a lot of energy; they can stay up all night talking to each other. This can be very metabolically costly, and it's not efficient when it comes to work and relationships. I think this fits in well with the idea that the obsession component has to fade. It's unsustainable to be like that over the years while raising children and having jobs." However, a certain level of love is beneficial, she said. Having a partner who increases your happiness and comfort is certainly a healthy thing, and being able to trust and rely on someone in difficult situations can improve a person's success in life. Medical research has demonstrated the physical benefits of loving relationships. People who report being in positive relationships have been shown to be healthier, less stressed, and to have stronger immune systems. And some studies even suggest happily married people live longer than their single counterparts. *Do you agree with this research study?*