Put Another Log On The Fire

[Shadowself]

Wow! look at all the smiling faces! love it!

Guess I'll get the family photo op going on here too.

I actually made these two videos the first Thanksgiving when Lionhawk and I moved in together. It was also my first Thanksgiving EVER I was not with my all my kids!

So My oldest son John calls me and asks me "how do I make the oyster dressing for the Turkey"? So I gave him the directions over the phone and hung up only to realize how much I missed them! I decided to make a spoof video of some old photos and make a silent film and incorporate the oyster dressing somehow. Here is the result:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=9jMoGPfK29s

Now I could not get away with making a movie of just John...so I made one of Braydon too...my youngest. Note many of these photos are on set with his brother John. In fact that is Britney Spears and it's a running joke with Braydon that he caused her meltdown.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=fhh8HFNa-CI

This is Dustin my third son and father of my granddaughter..I didn't make a video for him because he was with me that Thanksgiving.



Oh but wait! I suppose I have to remove the sunglasses eh? I don't have any newer photos and my avatar is pretty much me in a nutshell. But here are some older photos when I was younger....MUCH younger. I know Giovanni will remember the first one as I had it on Avalon 1. The last one is me and my granddaughter having sushi. The two on the bottom look more like me now. Those two top were a long time ago. My brother took those for me when I was into the music thingy.





I'll leave you now with The stilt Circus my son used to preform with. He's the cowboy.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=ohoZ2AdmdM8

[Lionhawk]

Back when, during the Great Fire in February 2010, my name was spoken and I left the Great Fire in search of the one that called my name. A name not spoken for several thousand years. At least to the time of when the murdering God called Osiris breathed Gaia's air.

I already knew who she was but when my name was spoken, things changed on so many levels. It was right after the Great Fire that I decided it was time to show my Twin Flame of the face she had been communicating to for those passed few months on PA1.

I also had a camping trailer parked in storage about 5 miles away from my home in St. Augustine, FL. It had a lot of my personal stuff in it as I had lived in this camper when I had my repair business.

At that time, I had endured many attacks from all kinds of nasty regressive types. Some of you here may be aware of those times and the attacks that also hit PA1. So my hands were full at the time. I was not liked by the dark side. They sent a witch, 3 Greys (DOWS), human/reptilian hybrids, AI, all in a few short months. It was like they had a campaign to kill me. That was their goal. They almost succeeded on March 7, 2010.

I had done pretty good up to that point in time defending myself but I admit I got distracted and exposed myself for just a few minutes in broad daylight on March 7th. So I left the shielded domain of where I lived and went 5 miles south to retrieve some pictures for my Twin Flame. As I approached my camper, like a few feet from the door, I got hit with some type of beam weapon. It struck just right below my right knee on the right side of my right leg, then traveled to the left leg and went through it. So it came down on a weird angle. The effect caused an immediate reaction physically. It wasn't like a painful type of weapon when it first hit, like something you would expect from a conventional weapon. But what it did was take all the strength right out of you in a fast few seconds. My heart raced into action and my lungs were gasping for air just to keep up with the demands from my heart. I could feel the energy from this weapon start to work up through both legs until I finally collapsed onto the ground a few feet away from the camper door. It was like a feedback weapon. As I laid there with the heart working overtime and my lungs as well, I was able to assess my physical situation. Everything came back clear and then I knew I got hit. Good thing I had a strong heart. I laid there for about 45 minutes and could hardly move. Then I mustered my strength and crawled up to the door of the camper. I did not want a scene and so I decided to get into the camper and try to recoup. I stayed in there for about 5 hours and got some pictures and then somehow got myself home. It took 3 weeks to get back to normal.

My spiritual connections, knew I got hit. Even Gaia came to visit me to see how I was. I was angry! That's the bottom line. Everyone also knew I was. Everyone not of this Earth. I figured it was something I earned from all the things I have done to usurp their efforts.

So between that attack and the type 2, I have my hands full. As the combination can't be explained to any so called doctor. Again, I am not seeking sympathy or pity. I can't say that loud enough. But I am always on high alert now. I deal with it and as you know you have some better days than others.

I have tried many things. I was taking some crazy amount of pillage daily for awhile. I mean no disrespect to anyone but when your kitchen starts to look like a pharmacy and your taking everything from vitamins to pills that only create the side effects that they claim the pill is to be used against, you have to say "time out" at some point and reassess your situation. I decided to take the simple route. I was taking over 20 pills a day. What a mind trip. Now I am down to 5 and one is a baby aspirin.
everything else didn't work or would create a side effect. Today's doctor only seek the documentation of the effects of their art of what they call practicing medicine. And making money at it. Go ahead and offer me a flu shot and I'll make your blood pressure go up by pointing out the hypocrisy in your practice. I figured out that I am my own best doctor. The type 2 is a flaw in my DNA and that was passed down genetically. The chakras at my ankles are out of balance because they got blown out. Energy weapons can alter energy flow and the structures that stations that energy.

What they tried to do was disconnect the ground connection to my physicality because they knew that would kill me. Without that electrical connection to Mother earth you die. So my advise to anyone is shield your self, the ones you love, your cars, your homes, and your travels. Even your computers and everything else that could possibly find it's way to your door or windows. They don't play for keeps. They don't play in other words! Be awake and don't fall asleep at the wheel if one of your preoccupations is to be a warrior for the planet.

I paid a price as to the connection to my Twin Flame. I would do it all again. For that matter I have paid several times and she knows all to well we both have paid the reaper. Even in this lifetime. But our love is what keeps us going as in together.

I don't go out and look for a fight. But if they come again, they will have one! I am not seeking revenge and that is an exercise with grace. You had your shot and I am still breathing. I have had enough of the sacrifice game they play. Hope that is clear enough.

We will look into what you said about that acid stuff, Mike. Thanks. Thanks to that Lieutenant Colonel Found too for all of his concerns and recommendations with my situation.

It is also good to see folks feel safe enough around our campfire to reveal a "face". Hopefully no one is on the FBI's most wanted list. LoL! And if you are, you are probably in great company. I wish I had the abundance of money so I could have a real get together with all of you and be around a true campfire.

That Bruce Cockburn is a great find there Lieutenant Colonel Found!

Nagosa........

[Mike]

i enjoy seeing all the faces too, Shadowself. and btw, your pics are lovely!

i have no idea how to post pics here in posts, so ive switched up my avatar. i'm the goof on the right...tilted winter cap and straw in mouth...drunk as a skunk. it used to be my profile pic. now it's front n center, i spose. i'm 38 now...and that was probably taken 4 years ago. currently i've grown fat and soft ...and quite frankly, i look like sh!t.

when you really think about it, it seems silly that we're all hiding behind avatars, doesn't it? i understand the desire for anonymity, but i find some of the paranoia here to be quite weird and totally unnecessary. and stifling! ( if "they" wanna get ya, "they" got ya already...posting your face is irrelevant) it feels good to reveal oneself. its kind of liberating. it makes me realize just how stale and restrictive avatars can be. the openness here is refreshing and liberating. i dig it. its empowering. i understand that its not everyones thing, but i think it would be awesome if we all revealed ourselves. what a statement that would be! ("they" are watching? great, well we don't give a f#ck)

man its 2:30am and i can't sleep. i need some magic sleepy mojo. where's Paula when you need her?

[Delight]

Please and thank you for the talking Stick.

I never have had many pictures taken. I don't really care about having pictures of the people in my life. I care more about feeling them. This is not an ego thing to feel others when you love them. In my life LOTS of people I love are no longer living but I feel them. I don't see them but I know I feel them.

It's been 10 years living in kind of a haunted house. It is a beautiful eerie space. I have resonated to dark night minor key.

I am feeling very much my isolation and in response I had a download tonight.

It has to do with fractals. My life is a whole fractal bubble. It wells up from my heart. I am iI am seing it from inside out. Imagining these bubbles as each of us, I can see how we project on one another and see ourselves.

I really don't think we have to be responsible for the others and their life bubbles. My sensing my heart being in the center of my bubble with the light always bubbling out makes sense. I can see how my sphere of influence is just a vision.

Is my vision clear or cloudy?

The medicine wheel is a two dimensional bubble. The directions are the four around and above and below.


I got a download that showed the 360 degree inside of the bubble like a screen. I saw my beliefs like geometric figures to make the shapes I perceive. I saw the whole sphere clogged with geometry. I imaines dissolving them to make way for the unknown.

I like movies and see it as we are projecting a movie we see on the inside of the fractal bubble sphere that is our state of being. I am feeling the truth that directing the movie is my goal.

I had a download that I a seeing whole bubbles on my inner screen. I see a bubble where I am in love and it includes everything I know about "love". The more I learn the less I know So the MORE I know of love, the more clear that bubble becomes. I actually dissolve the beliefs by exhausting them.

I m feeling into respect. I want to touch your bubbles with my respect for you awesome worth.

I love all those who sit at this fire as much as I can love and want to love deeper and more. I am seeing us as orbs that float and mingle our essence and so the bubble that includes us IS us. The circle around the fire, the medicine wheel we walk around is on our inner screen. Even if illusion we make it and it is sacred ALWAYS. No matter what we are seeing, we were the awesome creators.

That is my feeling to night of being a sacred being. I am sure that this is the catbird seat in the middle of the medicine wheel.

I am AWARE of potential and the mystery that is patience AND HOW ALL IS RIGHT WITH EVERYTHING no matter what is observed.

I will see you as I see myself and we are perfect in my eyes just as we are.

My path on the wheel we share entertwines like wheel within wheels. We make the collective bubble and float in parameters we create. Floating among YOU sacred beings in your individual bubble is IMO why we are alive.

I see the law of attraction as the evidence of where we are being and that there is no threat or harm outside. Everything we may imagine will appear "in time" to us but maybe in symbol that needs meaning understood. In the meantime, the light is what is making all this appearance happen. Imagine the light bulb...that is us. The difference is we have figures floating in the inside (our experience) that make shadows and somehow we are all part of others in our collective saga.

My inner comedian is enjoying with a dark humor the gad blasted mystery- tourness of the beliefs I have and floating around interacting with my projected shadows. Nothing is just one way but the inetractions. It takes shadow to a whole new meaning when its all about the inner light of me making shadows based on what I believe on my inner spherical curved wall of "experience". That I could have a different experience is the goal.

So, to make a short story long, I am revelling in the feeling of my world being just right as an answer from my spirit.

[Mike]

Lionhawk, I was very reluctant to suggest anything...for those same reasons my friend. I know how it is. At 1 point I was averaging 30+ pills a day. It was destroying my stomach! The acid indigestion was almost as.bad as the heart stuff!

But when I see an opportunity, I feel compelled to pass along the info.

I get it tho brother...even well meaning people can.seem annoying at times (have you tried this? Have you tried that?) I'm very self conscious about making suggestions as a result. But for what its worth, this guy (the man.in.the pic.with me actually) had.great success with the ala. For what it's worth..

I wish you the best my friend

[Mike]

Delight,..what an.utterly awesome.post.that was...

[ulli]

Posted by Mike (here)
Delight,..what an.utterly awesome.post.that was...

What an awesome thread, too. 1:30 AM here, and I accept the fact that I'm having eyes wide open time because the middle of the night has this precious quality.
I love you all and wish for everyone's protection, so you can get on with your lives in an unfettered manner.

[Mike]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Mike (here)
Delight,..what an.utterly awesome.post.that was...

What an awesome thread, too. 1:30 AM here, and I accept the fact that I'm having eyes wide open time because the middle of the night has this precious quality.
I love you all and wish for everyone's protection, so you can get on with your lives in an unfettered manner.

Good to know.i'm not alone Ulli

The night feels wonderful here too. Autumn is by far my favorite.time of the year. I just took a late night walk and the air is.crackling with magic. Everyone is indoors and the streets and the night and the air and the magic feels like it all belongs to me. Its just awesome...

[ulli]

Posted by Mike (here)

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Mike (here)
Delight,..what an.utterly awesome.post.that was...

What an awesome thread, too. 1:30 AM here, and I accept the fact that I'm having eyes wide open time because the middle of the night has this precious quality.
I love you all and wish for everyone's protection, so you can get on with your lives in an unfettered manner.

Good to know.i'm not alone Ulli

The night feels wonderful here too. Autumn is by far my favorite.time of the year. I just took a late night walk and the air is.crackling with magic. Everyone is indoors and the streets and the night and the air and the magic feels like it all belongs.to me. Its just awesome...

Lol, wouldn't we all love to own it all? Makes me think of those banksters, and how much they stil do not own.
I live by a river, and now that it's the rainy season here it is roaring. Constant roar. When it gets really bad one hears the boulders slamming into each other.

On Sunday we went for lunch up the mountain, where friends have this idyllic property where all one hears is song birds. Wind in the trees.

After lunch we can use their guest room for a short siesta, and while resting I was absorbing those different nature sounds, which on our own property at the bottom of the valley get drowned out by the river noise, and I thinking of this ownership thing.
Would I have preferred to live in a quieter spot?

But we are settled where we are, finished building our house, which I designed to suit our needs. So for someone like me who have moved nearly fifty times in my life this brings up a whole new set of issues. Can I ever really feel settled?
The answer is to stay put, but go visiting friends. Some are beginning to accept that I live in many worlds, one of which is Avalon.
And then even here in Avalon there are all these threads, each with their own atmosphere...it's all just infinite.

[Mike]

For what it's worth Ulli, your place looks absolutely beautiful. The sound.of.the river would seem to make it that much more idyllic....but its odd how we can grow weary of things that once seemed charming. I lived by the beach most of my 20's. The.novelty wore off quite quickly..

I'm.gypsy-like too. Cant stay in one.place. in fact, most.mornings it takes me a few.seconds to orient myself (where am I again?) for me anyway, I think.its a fear of.stagnation...a fear that this is all there is. Its.very.important to me.to at.least believe there are plenty.of.new.adventures.in my future..

But.im.getting.a.little.older.and.a.bit.tired. thinking.seriously.of.laying.down.some.roots..

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Edit to add: I accidentally accepted an offer.for a.new keyboard app, and.the thing is.driving me.mad. the space.bar.is.too.close.to.the damn period button, and.im leaving.these.f'ing.......things.everywhere. sorry for.the distraction folks....but.its.too.tedious to go back n.erase.them all

[ulli]

Posted by Mike (here)
For what it's worth Ulli, your place looks absolutely beautiful. The sound.of.the river would seem to make it that much more idyllic....but its odd how we can grow weary of things that once seemed charming. I lived by the beach most of my 20's. The.novelty wore off quite quickly..

I'm.gypsy-like too. Cant stay in one.place. in fact, most.mornings it takes me a few.seconds to orient myself (where am I again?) for me anyway, I think.its a fear of.stagnation...a fear that this is all there is. Its.very.important to me.to at.least believe there are plenty.of.new.adventures.in my future..

But.im.getting.a.little.older.and.a.bit.tired. thinking.seriously.of.laying.down.some.roots..

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Edit to add: I accidentally accepted an offer.for a.new keyboard app, and.the thing is.driving me.mad. the space.bar.is.too.close.to.the damn period button, and.im leaving.these.f'ing.......things.everywhere. sorry for.the distraction folks....but.its.too.tedious to go back n.erase.them all

I'll be thinking of you as the guy with the staccato voice....lol.
When I was your age I had yet to change countries one more time. Leave the beaches of Barbados and move to Costa Rica.
Learn Spanish. Get robbed, which is part of life here, but thank God, never at gun point. Move 11 more times.
Now in the mountains, one hours drive from San Jose, the capital. Two hours from the airport, which is on the other side of town. It's all good.

[Lionhawk]

Thanks once again Mike! You are a straight up guy and I appreciate that and you get it. Folks just want to help and I get that. You were spot on as I have been through so many convos about it. It became so redundant for me that I just stopped talking about it. It's all good!

Anyway, I see we have some new visitors putting logs on our fire. Coool Beans and welcome. Just so you know we do from time to time put a little something into action and do something. It definitely isn't boring around here. Always something to do if you choose. Avalon's Got Talent! We do the little things for each others comfort. That's ZionBrion's department but we support his gifts and talent. We also have a variety of folks who specialize in poetry, digital art, philosophy, metaphysics, physics, crop circles, music, etc. Did I mention we also have many here who are healers. They make you laugh and cry. They keep us human with their stories too. So enjoy and once again Welcome to our fire. We don't mind sharing either.

We love you Delight!

[Beren]

Well , here`s one little log in the fire...
in the last few months here and there Sirius pops out.

Either in reading materials or meeting some people who live in a eco village community named "Sirius"... or just buying a chocolate last night...
I was suddenly attracted to Icelandic chocolate on the shelf.

Guess what... company that makes it is "Sirius" with a star logo...



Hmmm...

[Lionhawk]

A little dedication to my Shadowself and all that she does to complete me. I never thought I would be so blessed!

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=WMdBs7uTLHw

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=gCVRE6qXdwU

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Mike (here)
man its 2:30am and i can't sleep. i need some magic sleepy mojo. where's Paula when you need her?

Ha! We visited don’t cha you know. I made a cup of coffee to put me to sleep. It actually slows me down when I’m all abuzz.

I was wide awake from 1:00-3:30 vacuuming out weeble-wobbles, scrap metal tech, spider critters and other energy tech on people that popped into mind. Life is synchronicity in motion. But for those with concerns, know that I run it by your higher self. Too, it’s rendered ineffective if you’re energetic “keep out” sign flashes. Which it has in some cases, or you’ve said that’s enough for now. Check back later. It's like an energetic check valve of sorts.

Posted by Mike (here)
easy to see where your son gets his good looks from, Ms Pauler

ya know it was killing me - i knew you were a dead ringer for a certain actress but i just couldn't place it...and then it came to me. you look very much like that actress from the Crocodile Dundee movies

Thank you, Mike.
No wonder why I like her. Pauler’s ego purrs ever so quietly, hiding her vanity behind nonchalance.

I enjoyed everyone’s photos. It’s nice to put a face to an energetic body.

Mike if you’d like, send me the photos and I’ll add them.

That's A Knife - Crocodile Dundee

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=_vW54lAtldI

[Shadowself]

Ahhhh....The Gypsy in me want's to speak at the fire today. Given the last few posts it sparked something within me.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=8wql_WN7zgc

All my life I've always had this longing. I couldn't put my finger on it for a very long time. Perhaps it stemmed from the constant moving I did as a youngster. I never went to any school when I was growing more than one year...moving was a way of life for my mother for reasons I've yet to discover fully. She always landed a super job. She had two masters degrees and usually found the greatest jobs. I don't think she really wanted to move either but something just kept her moving. Well I actually have a pretty good idea but won't express that here. She usually found jobs with the State which were pretty good jobs.

So in my adulthood I did the same thing until my youngest son was born. I decided I had this longing for HOME. So home is what I put all my energy into. To provide a stable environment for him was my reasoning. But it wasn't only for him. I actually think he'd like the changing environment as his job now moves him all over the countrysides.

No it was definitely for me. So when he grew up I pushed him out of the nest and joined up with Lionhawk. As much as I love this planet it just does not feel like 'Home'. Some might think that would indicate the longing of a starseed and perhaps that's correct to some extent. I have this memory of a place so wonderful. It's spectacular and beautiful. It feel like what I dream of home and as lovely as this planet is it does not satisfy my longing. It's a longing I often feel I can't outlive....I feel there is great love there too.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=k1inZ4DjEWc

All I know is I keep getting this feeling that is expressed so well in this very song...when I hear it mixed with the sound of drums it makes me alive and longing for going home is just around the corner!

Take me home....it's where my heart is. Where ever that may be I'm down for it!

There's fire right outside my door!.......NO worries....I don't mind...because I just KNOW it's there waiting!

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=egJR3K6UIJY

Anyway I'm off to work today and we should have WATER tonight! Woo hooooo!!!!

Thanks Mike for joining the fire and expressing yourself so well! Of course Beren It's a Sirius matter you know when you see that....home calling loud and large? Perhaps eh?

Ulli! I saw pictures of your garden on another thread...LOVELY it is! Thanks for coming to the fireside!

Delight I'll have to remind myself later to tell you about my download episode. Thanks for sharing!

Everyone else I look forward to more sharing...big hugs and don't forget to express yourself!

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=JYi8lA9y_BY

Snap!!!!!

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Shadowself (here)
Snap!!!!!

Odd, I said that word this morning. Can't recall in what context. Only that it was in the shower and it's not a word I use.

Sync.

[Calz]

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=9hCOnuYpjG8

[Lost N Found]

Delight, such a delight. your light shines through all. Don't need picture to see you and the love that covers all. I want to give you this lyrics to a song by Bruce Cockburn. Could not find the song to post but here are lyrics, no one forgets the delight.

Amid the rumours and the expectations
and all the stories dreamt and lived
Amid the clangour and the dislocation
and things to fear and to forgive
Don't forget
about delight
Y know what I'm saying to you
Don't forget
about delight
Y know
Amid the post-ironic postulating
and the poets' pilfered rhymes
Meaning feels like it's evaporating
Out of sight and out of mind
Don't forget
about delight
Y know what I'm saying to you
Don't forget
about delight
Y know
Though you find yourself alone and stranded
with no friend to take your side
On the endless road afoot and empty-handed
where the wild-eyed Cossacks ride
Don't forget
about delight
Y know what I'm saying to you
Don't forget
about delight
Y know
Spring birds peck among the pressed-down grasses
Clouds like zeppelins cross the sky
Anger drips and pools and then it passes
And I say a prayer that I
Don't forget
about delight
Y know what I'm saying to you
Don't forget
about delight
Y know

ulli it is so wonderful to see you around the campfire. All the new folks joining this fire just gives us all more connections into the oneness of the universe. I have totally enjoyed your stories of Costa Rica. That is such a beautiful place you and your twin flame have. Look forward to seeing lionhawk pass the talking stick your way.

Mike you have found an open door into a very loving and healing place. It is so cool when folks open the door into this thread and bring their life for sharing and connecting.

I am with lionhawk in welcoming all that have showed up. This is a safe haven.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Delight (here)
All these pictures are of some cute looking people, hot like fire.

I was pretty too back in my youth. Now I look so much like my grandmother that it is weird. Her name was Margaret too. She always seemed old.

Maybe one of the problems of being in my generation is the veneration of youth and ease of health and sexiness. Now we are taking on some years and we have a belief system around aging and attractiveness to others. It is lonely being single and most of the women my age without a partner already stay single.

The women in my family die years after losing a partner and I wonder about the programming of expectation I hold in my beliefs. I decided that beliefs are in my heart. I expect that to change a belief means you have to go to feeling.

I have some very particular beliefs of my own that are important because they make me feel GOOD. Some beliefs I have I feel BAd about and so don't like to go there....like the belief that my sense of engaging the world with desire is dependent on some quality I have lost by aging.

Like the DESIRE to engage a partner. It is kind of easy to get used to being alone and independent and not needing to compromise. One can get kind of lazy being single.

Anyway, I am grateful to the stories people are telling and I pray I AM on purpose. I intend that I am in this body for an awesome reason NOW, not in the past. I am really groping in the fears of loss...my intention is this whole "aging" scene has a very lovely outcome where I am not repeating some pattern out of laziness.

For some reason, It Ain't Necessarily So fits....
Nothing is necessarily so IMO when we know it ain't...

On lazy being single. On aging. On snow shovel season. On meanwhile.

On lazy being single:

For now, the way I see it is I may die alone because my life choice is to live in the moment. And as I write this sentence, my stomach jumps with excitement. It’s more the good kind where several times every day I am utterly grateful. Often, I feel like I’m playing house.

I catch myself holding my breath. Stupid voice says, “Too happy is bad while others suffer.”
“Stupid voice, shut up.”

Second oldest of eight with adult responsibilities in an extremely dysfunctional environment to personal dysfunctions to go, go, go, to the two marriages of 7 and 19 years, to a partner who died suddenly from heart attack six months after my son’s passing, to freaky, controlling guys/dates…had fried me to a crisp.

I didn’t know it until I final came full-stop. It’s the first time, I’ve known peace of heart. No alarm clocks. No clocks. No 45-50 time blocks. For now, it wouldn’t be fair to another to be in a relationship.

Single isn’t lazy. It’s ballsy. It’s hard to listen to friends and colleagues that complain about their husbands but stay because they’re afraid to be alone or be financially accountable. That’s lazy. And I’d not want a man to stay with me out of fear of loneliness or fear of the unknown.

I love men. I love them too much that I give up Pauler. I’m a work in progress.

On aging:

People’s beauty comes through their presence, their developing light, their discovery of it. It is my belief that more will know that. Choose that. Meanwhile, the lines on the face mark the passing of time. Who is she? Where’d Pauler go?

On snow shovel season:

Soon it’ll be snow shovel season. That’s when I’m faced with “Why the heck do you feel you have to be strong all the time?”

On meanwhile:

In the meantime…

I eat what I want, when I want.
Cook whatever I want, when I want.
Can live with an unmade bed.
Keep dirty dishes in the sink or not.
Cookie stash is no longer hidden.
Eat the last cookie without guilt.
Drink out of the milk carton.
Read with the light on in bed.
Silence doesn’t compete with basketball, football, baseball and golf.
I can leave the toilet seat up.

When I’m steep-deep in honesty…I don’t want to bury the one I Love.
With heart,
Paula