Here and Now...What's Happening?

[Strat]

I don't have migraines I have cluster headaches.

Thanks for the tai chi video. I've been interested in it for some time to improve overall health.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by RunningDeer (here)
cheese was the worst

Hah - the only "food" that my son can find in my kitchen - cheese - cheddar cheese from the raw milk of grass fed cows.

I buy and consume it in bulk (with lots of salt). Awesome stuff.

Strange is the diversity of human (and other being) nature.

[Strat]

Cheese hasn't been an issue for me but milk (or whatever bs 'they' put in it) definitely is.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Paul (here)

Posted by RunningDeer (here)
cheese was the worst

Hah - the only "food" that my son can find in my kitchen - cheese - cheddar cheese from the raw milk of grass fed cows.

I buy and consume it in bulk (with lots of salt). Awesome stuff.

Strange is the diversity of human (and other being) nature.

I caught your post a few weeks back and checked out Bunker Hill Cheese site. It's too pricey for my budget.

Every once in a while I have a hankering for a cheese pizza or some smoked cheese. I figure my body needs it. And I don't have the negative effects like I use to because my body is much more in balance.

Come to think of it, the last time I had cheese was right after I checked out your cheese site.

Strange is the diversity of human (and other being) nature.

True that. I'm better about not worrying about everyone's diet choices. I want us all around for a long, long time.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by RunningDeer (here)
The name escapes me

Heini's .

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Paul (here)

Posted by RunningDeer (here)
The name escapes me

Heini's .

Yes, that's it...a.k.a Bunker Hill Cheese. I found it in my contacts and updated my post up thar.
{insert cheese pizza smilie}

[Mark]

Here and Now, it is the first day of Finals on the last week of school for the year.

This is my first year of teaching Reading Comprehension to 9th graders, which has been a revelation. I read to my own kids almost every night for the first few years of their lives, so reading was never at issue. Also, the school I teach at in Central Texas is 96% LatinX, so there is a substantial population of undocumented kids. 3% white and 1% black, with a heavy emphasis on the trades and alternative education.

Summer break is going to be very nice, it has been difficult and amazing to build relationship with and work to inspire these kids to be more than their surroundings expect them to be. The fear of the past year has been palpable for many of them. They've shared the stories of their family members being arrested and deported, some of them disappearing for weeks and months at a time and hearing their stories from friends has been really eye-opening.

I'm going to enjoy camping and being a river rat, waking up late, writing and doing the work of the city during the break.

[avatar]

As Eckhart says A grievance looking for a cause...

[Strat]

I don't mean to keep harping on this but I have nobody to talk to - this cluster headache **** is outta control. Just got through w/ more literal screaming pain and broke some ****. It sucks im on disability and live with my folks, would you tell your mother about how miserable your life is? Shes on the verge of tears when she looks at me. It's ****ing rough. It's called suicide headaches cause people kill themselves from this **** and I have to fight off the suicidal thoughts during the bouts. Its ****ing miserable. Why would I share this with loved ones? My day? Yeah I was vomiting in the toilet and trying not to kill myself - was lovely.

So tonight or tomorrow I'm thinking bout checking into the ER which is something everyone just loves doing. **** man. I'm trying to keep it together its just so hard.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Strat (here)
I have to fight off the suicidal thoughts during the bouts. Its ****ing miserable. Why would I share this with loved ones? My day? Yeah I was vomiting in the toilet and trying not to kill myself - was lovely.

[Valerie Villars]

Strat, my heart goes out to you. It's an awful place to be. Is there any way you could avoid a hospital and go to a regular doctor? The E.R. IS hellish and best be avoided if possible.

[Mike]

Posted by Strat (here)
I don't mean to keep harping on this but I have nobody to talk to - this cluster headache **** is outta control. Just got through w/ more literal screaming pain and broke some ****. It sucks im on disability and live with my folks, would you tell your mother about how miserable your life is? Shes on the verge of tears when she looks at me. It's ****ing rough. It's called suicide headaches cause people kill themselves from this **** and I have to fight off the suicidal thoughts during the bouts. Its ****ing miserable. Why would I share this with loved ones? My day? Yeah I was vomiting in the toilet and trying not to kill myself - was lovely.

So tonight or tomorrow I'm thinking bout checking into the ER which is something everyone just loves doing. **** man. I'm trying to keep it together its just so hard.

hi Strat, when you go to the ER, how do they treat you for that?

[Strat]

Posted by Valerie Villars (here)
Strat, my heart goes out to you. It's an awful place to be. Is there any way you could avoid a hospital and go to a regular doctor? The E.R. IS hellish and best be avoided if possible.

Not a chance. Women that have CH's say it's worse than childbirth and I'm having several a day. I can't keep myself composed. Most docs can't deal w/ CH's cause they are so rare. My neurologist can't deal w/ it either. They just fill the o2 script.

They did try different drugs and combos of drugs but they were awful and more often than not made the condition worse.

Posted by Mike (here)
hi Strat, when you go to the ER, how do they treat you for that?

Last time I went it was after a CH attack and they sent me home despite my request to stay. So if I'm in the midst of an attack for sure they'll give me o2 but I dunno what else. I'm assuming/praying they'd just shoot me up with something to make it stop.

[Mike]

Posted by Strat (here)

Posted by Valerie Villars (here)
Strat, my heart goes out to you. It's an awful place to be. Is there any way you could avoid a hospital and go to a regular doctor? The E.R. IS hellish and best be avoided if possible.

Not a chance. Women that have CH's say it's worse than childbirth and I'm having several a day. I can't keep myself composed. Most docs can't deal w/ CH's cause they are so rare. My neurologist can't deal w/ it either. They just fill the o2 script.

They did try different drugs and combos of drugs but they were awful and more often than not made the condition worse.

Posted by Mike (here)
hi Strat, when you go to the ER, how do they treat you for that?

Last time I went it was after a CH attack and they sent me home despite my request to stay. So if I'm in the midst of an attack for sure they'll give me o2 but I dunno what else. I'm assuming/praying they'd just shoot me up with something to make it stop.

ok, gotcha. and if you're in the middle of a cluster attack, does the O2 stop it?

[Strat]

No but it's faaaaar better to have it than not. If I catch the headache at onset then the o2 may stop it. I have a large ('k') tank at my house but I ran through it in a couple days. I can't get a replacement till 3 tomorrow. So if I have one tonight or before 3 tomorrow then it's ER time.

For whatever reason the pain has been getting worse and the o2 isn't helping so much, hence my venting post. I was just locked in my room, screaming profanities and I punched a hole in my wall. It's actually embarrassing cause I'm not like that, it's just that at that level of pain one tends to lose composure. It's also just upsetting when it's all over, everything settles and then you look around at the damage you've done. It sucks. This is also why I want to go to ER and just have them shoot me up with morphine or whatever. I don't give a **** at this point the pain just needs to stop.

[Valerie Villars]

Strat, I would do whatever I had to do to get out of that pain.

[Mike]

Posted by Valerie Villars (here)
Strat, I would do whatever I had to do to get out of that pain.

i 110% cosign on this.

gonna pm you with a few thoughts.

[TargeT]

Posted by Valerie Villars (here)
Strat, I would do whatever I had to do to get out of that pain.

We, humans; can only experience one strong sensation at a time.

This is why "Lamaze" works for birthing mothers.

I'm just saying, beyond external support there are other options; however I understand (intellectually, not through experience) the debilitating nature of what you describe, best of luck.


Not joking:

Tried anything crazy? Tried smoking Salvia or something during? a lot of times these types of issues are psychosomatic (not saying thats your case, I'm not a doctor, just a recognizer of patterns).

[Valerie Villars]

Just checking on you Strat.

[Mark]

Strat, sending energy your way, wishing you peace. I hope you can feel it with some surcease from your pain. I wish I had something more to offer besides my fervent hope that a viable solution arrives for you, sooner rather than later.