The Very Perplexing Tony Soprano

[thepainterdoug]

I'm writing this because I cannot stop watching the Sopranos.   Of course I saw the original air,  along with the many times it has shown since.   HBO ran them a month ago and now again, they are on and my addiction is back

Why? I ask myself ?  What is it about this violent show that fascinates me, and draws me in over and over?
I recently had a conversation with my brother about who the greatest TV Character is of all time.  We circled around, from past and present, benevolent to violent, and It always returns to Tony Soprano. 

My friend Timmy went to high school with John Gandolfini.( Tony).  He remembers him as a great guy, a good Ice Hockey player, kind hearted who decided to take an Italian acting class. He told me that James is nothing like Tony in real life.
Then somehow he auditions for this show, shot in New Jersey and an icon is born.

Tony is truly perplexing. A Saint and a sinner. a beyond tough guy, who is also charming, loving , and very much a child. This makes him different from other villains . He's cute, and very scary.  And when he puts those half moon eyelids on ya, you know he is the bottom line.  He handles everything, stands up to everyone  and is the alpha male at all times. He runs it all and is afraid of no one. Yet he is kind and loving to animals.

He and his gang are loathsome, disgusting and deplorable. they leave a trail of destruction and heartache.They are killers! They operate without care for rule of law or for fairness.
Essentially, everything I hate in a person

Yet I had to realize if I could try out  being a new person  to live a new role , a new body and have a different life than mine, I wish I was Tony Soprano. This child-like, imaginative, funny, often poignant, generous, kind and loving of his family. Yet fearless and respected, who could dominate all, takes no ****, and can kick the crap out of anyone.
 Tony will go all the way, far past most anyone.

But Tony is a living hypocrite. Constant double standards, jealous, while a cheat and a liar.  But it all seems to go with the territory. All his cohorts, along with his family and friends all make a deal with the devil to live the life they live in his protection.

I realize this is just as in our politics. Might makes right, Money make right, and most likely why mobs begin in the first place. Because they are mobsters as well.

And in the end, perhaps there is no price to pay? You pass on and get a chance to play some other role next time .
Life is certainly strange.

Anyhow, feel free to add . 
thanks for reading pd

[Mike]

Despite his criminality and shaky ethics, I think we admire Tony because of his courage and willingness to take huge risks to live on his own terms.

Villains do things we'd never do in a million years; we convince ourselves we wouldn't do those things because they're morally wrong, but most people are simply too frightened to do them. It's their fear of getting caught, or worse, that stops them. Not their ethics. Though few would admit this.

Most people understand this intuitively, and that's why they're so drawn to the Tony Sopranos of the world. They admire his fearlessness, because it's so rare.

[thepainterdoug]

Your right Mike. It's not their ethics, may possibly be their morals, but more likely their fear. We all can claim we are more civilized than the brute etc but if we had the might and the courage we may show up differently.

If you can demonstrate to me some person who has all the might, all the courage and confidence while being anti violence because he has true morals, ethics and compassion etc, thats a prince in this world. Thats a choice.

Most of us are put in our place

[scotslad]

I think it was one of the first shows to focus on and master (in my opinion) managing hthe emotional challenges the hero/lead (or anti hero) had to face and how the impact of those choices (often quite relatable) would have on "business" and his personal life like being a father , husband, son, brother and "boss".

In addition to the action, fast talk, and highly entertaining characters we were drawn into each of their stories and it made for compelling viewing. (and still does), after all we all have our own "dramas" to watch, take part in, produce, direct and star in

[Moemers]

I'd like to point out the dichotomy between him and his son. AJ Soprano is all of Tony's issues without any of the power and imo a close watch of those two together is really informative to the main character.

If you think about it, AJ obliquely portrays, in a very passive way, Tony's very self. Tony ultimately became Lydia through the means of his own position as a boss: threats and lethal violence. Likewise, AJ became Tony: a lonesome, sad individual that was unable to accept that the world is not a place that was designed according what we want of it. This type of existential angst could be seen as a failed transition of a childish mindset to that of an adult. Maybe what Junior meant with 'he never had the makings of a varsity athlete' should be understood as 'he never had the will to behave like an adult' (Junior also mentions something along the lines 'chasing skirts' in some other episode). And much like a Western movie, The Sopranos household was not big enough for two adolescents.

Nevertheless, AJ was head and shoulders above Tony. He actually had the balls to go and try to kill himself (it's worth mentioning that his way to die was to drown himself in the pool, which was the pivotal space were Tony had his first panic attack). Tony and AJ constantly felt like they were drowning, and they always tended to engage in deeply emotional and/or sentimental relationships (Blanca and Gloria are both Latin female names, which mean 'White' and 'Glory', respectively). They wanted to be saved, but they also liked to stretch the boundaries when it came to self-gratification. Tony to Gloria: 'I've known you my whole ****ing life', as 'I've acknowledged this deathlike force since I came to this world' (and then he says 'bottomless black hole': just recall Tony's reaction after he saw that the pool was empty). However, Tony was granted from the get go with the pleasantries of self-destruction. It's such a treat to hate yourself when life comes on a plate, right? AJ, on the contrary, was Tony 'without the spoils,' to quote Bobby.

[thepainterdoug]

Scotslad/ Thanks, yes agreed. and its amazing to think that it all came from David Chase.

MOMERS
Interesting observations on AJ. I agree, hes quite a character study. And all the phases he goes thru to sort his situation out are sad and revealing of a kid who doesnt get who he is.. He has the insight to question existence itself, why are we here? , and nothing matters etc and even brings himself to want to die as you mentioned.

The kids, spoiled beyond reason to no fault of their own are fascinating. I see aspects of myself in many characters throughout

I think the Sopranos helps me think thru many of my own personal and social issues . Very confrontational . The Dr Melfi, a whole other conversation.

I wonder how the women on our forum here think about the show and what it means to them? I would love to hear?

[Moemers]

when you consider the whole show is kind of coming from Tony's head it can get archetypal very quickly...

[Faylin]

As the son of a mobster it's hard for me to idolize one. My father used explosives on a pregnant womans home who narced on him, scared my mother into a mental institution and beat my mother and slammed her head into a mirror.

later in life he robbed a bank with a fake gun and spent 10 years in prison.

If you really knew what the criminal underworld got into you wouldn't be intrequed, you'd be discusted and you'd lose sleep over it. to be honest I haven't scratched the surface to the things my father did.

[thepainterdoug]

faylin. i dont idolize him. and in my post i explained how vexing it is to me because they are everything i hate and i am not. they kill and murder and destroy lives.

but you being as close as you are to it, i totally get you and respect your response
thanks

[Faylin]

I wasn't saying you were but modern times by my own generation has people idolizing them, romanticisng the lifestyle and not realizing that hundreds if not thousands of unsolved murders of women children and men are conducted by the mob on a daily basis. explosions of cars and homes that don't even make it in the news because of the mobs hold on local polititions and media.

[Moemers]

art isn't safe