The death of a loved one

[wondering]

Thank you, Losus4, I agree with you completely. I have many friends who have left the earth plane, and sometimes I find myself envying them their release from our present reality, mixed though it is.

[UNEEKSTUF]

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave bereft

I am not there. I have not left."

- Mary Elizabeth Frye

[rgray222]

I posted this very short video on another thread but I think it might be appropriate here.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-0EKxKr-DLo

[arwen]

Dear Irminsül - I just want to give you a LARGE hug - and to anyone dealing with that grief right now too.




Thank you for opening up and sharing this - it helps others who are also struggling with loss of a loved one or ones, to have a conversation like this. I can feel the depth of your being and you are amazing.

For me, it is the same dilemma - we KNOW this life is only temporary, we KNOW beings move on to the next stage of evolution, many of us (myself included) cannot wait to get out of here - but oh MAN - the pain of loss when the Love was so intense - it overrides all we know, and it just damn HURTS. Because the ONLY meaningful aspect of our time here, in my opinion, is our connections with others. We learn so much from relationships with others. And it can go bad, when abuse, or dependency enters. But that is not what we are talking about here.

Everyone processes it in their own way. But if there was real love, then there is excruciating pain when the loved one is lost. You can also see it in the animal realm - I have seen elephants, lionesses, all sorts of animals - grieve when their young die or are killed.

It seems to be a thing in this realm, part of the experience here that none of us here can avoid. It is very healthy to talk about it, and thank you for opening up the thread.

[Johnnycomelately]

* The death of a loved one *

The title of this thread hides a greater question, about what love is.

To me, love is a will to give, and no part of love expects a return. Return meaning a taking, like in getting one’s back scratched as a return favour or agreement, not to mean receiving selfless love in return.

Grief is a touchy subject. It seems that for many, it is the strongest emotion.

To me, grief at the passing of a loved one is nothing to be proud about. Even if you don’t believe in an afterlife, you are just feeling sorry for yourself. And If you do believe that your loved one is still essentially alive somewhere, why would you radiate the worst self-sorry feelings toward them?

From experience, I say, radiate the strongest love you ever had for them, as if they were beside you.

[Victoria]

Dearest Irminsul,

Thank you for sharing. You honor your sister and commemorate your admiration for her with this most beautifully touching and poignant tribute. 

Remembering and celebrating her extraordinary place in your life and the soul she is, while courageously sharing that universe with others and inviting those who miss their loved ones to do the same, is a selfless gesture that radiates encouragement and healing. 

You have an overstanding and tremendous sensitivity which helps those around you to find their way. Thank you for sharing it here, for wanting to help people and for trusting this community with the treasure of your (and her) spirit.

You have created a much needed avenue for others to express their feelings and remembrance which is a work of compassion and love. I think a part of your own legacy is spreading light out of sorrow and leading in transformation of the heart.
 

I feel for you and all you have endured by her loss, Irminsul.  When we love, we become part of the one we love and they become a part of us on so many unseen levels. Together, we create a new entity, more complete; a team and a purpose, with those we care for; family, parents, friends, the people closest to us.  The loss is great when they depart from the physical. 

The pain must teach us something, perhaps that each part, each one of us, is important to the whole. The wound is not just physical and certainly not selfish. There is a reason for humans to tend communally in nature; we look to one another for direction and reassurance, for sense when we cannot see any; for purpose outside of self.

I do not know what comes after, but I hope that we can all be reunited with those we safeguard and miss and that our hearts will be known to them. 
It is terrible to imagine losing someone so vital and young or the weight that your sister carried in this plane, but from within, I know she would feel truly cherished, enveloped in love and be so inspired by what you create in her memory; with the energy behind your feelings and the lessons you chose to share with us.

Thank you