Daily Thoughts of a Targeted Individual

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Now today's piece:

The Physical Barrier to Thought: Navigation of the Human Condition in Order to Achieve

Decartes, Digested



Kevin Boykin
Apr 17, 2026

The foundational axiom of Western philosophy, René Descartes’ “Cogito, ergo sum” — “I think, therefore I am” — was a monumental achievement. It was a necessary reduction to define life after honest recognition of available information was weighed. It was an attempt to locate the self in the pure, ethereal realm of consciousness, to anchor identity in the intangible act of thought and thereby escape the fallibility of the body and the deceptive senses. It was a declaration of intellectual and spiritual independence.

It’s true as well, but becomes more complex when seen through the limitations and baggage of human understanding. We have to add to it to make it something we can process. Once it is known that we exist then further extrapolations are available. To our senses we exist primarily in the physical. Our endeavor here was to reduce, and in that spirit the physical is easily reduced to the presence of an anus.

For a significant portion of humanity, the honest, unvarnished, and empirically verifiable translation of Descartes’ statement is not the lofty ideal of the mind, but the gravitational pull of the gut. The realistic and honest human take would be:

“I think about the anus, therefore I am.”

This is not an intellectual provocation. It is a clinical diagnosis. It is the only logical conclusion for a consciousness that cannot escape the base, physical, and animal nature of its own existence. To understand this, we must first examine the very tool that sought to map this territory: the psychoanalytic revolution.

The Brazen Bull of Psychoanalysis
Sigmund Freud, whether he knew it or not, forged a brilliant and terrible device. His psychoanalytic framework, with its theory of psychosexual stages, was designed as a tool of analysis and control. It provided a roadmap of human development, a checklist of fixations and neuroses. The “anal stage” in particular, with its concepts of the “anal-retentive” and “anal-expulsive” personalities, became a clinical language to pathologize and classify behavior. It was a scalpel intended to dissect the psyche, to render the human animal predictable, manageable, and ultimately, explainable.

It was a Brazen Bull. From thearcheologist.org:

“The Brazen Bull was allegedly created by Perillos of Athens, a bronze worker in the 6th century BCE, and introduced to Phalaris, the tyrant of Akragas, a Greek city in Sicily. Its design was a masterstroke of ancient artisanship, a life-sized bull cast entirely in bronze with a door on the side for the victim to be placed inside. It was hollow, allowing for a human being to be forced inside, and it was designed in such a way that, when a fire was lit beneath it, the Bull would heat up, slowly roasting the person inside alive.”

I think I saw Martha Stewart schlepping one of these but I digress. It seems that every sword is double-edged to some degree, some more than others. That Brazen Bull was first tested on it’s designer for efficacy. It went on to claim many, including the king himself after losing power. The poetic justice of the king being just another one of the bull’s short-term inhabitants prepares us for the reality we see today. Precedence is there for all to use.

So like all such instruments, psychology has now been turned on its makers. The very lens Freud created to observe humanity has been weaponized to render the most damning diagnosis of his intellectual progeny and the culture that wields his tools.

The Tethered Consciousness
In order for this reductive cognitive process to take root, it requires the base aspect of the physical as its foundation. Their consciousness cannot exist untethered. While Descartes dreamed of a mind that could float free, untethered from the machine of the body, this type of consciousness led by Freud et al is welded to it. Their “thinking” is not a clean, abstract process; it is a messy, noisy byproduct of biochemical hardware anchored in the gut.

Why the anus? It is representative of many human understandings. Lets start with the complexity of life as it presents on earth. The most complex life forms are denoted by the presence of a mouth and an anus. Then this imports that our time is not wasted on amoeba. From there the human mind moves to lived experience. The strongest representative of this is the feeling of shame. They associate this with the anus despite having already recognized that it is a sign of a complex life form. The reasons are obvious, but the power that it has over the mind is not commensurate regardless. The human mind finds the entire arrangement to be intolerable in most situations, and deals with it through humor, sexual interest and more. These things at play send the average human into a circle of logic: we are thinking creatures that are superior, yet we have anuses which hammer home the concept of limitations, but still we think, etc.

The human POV: this is the critical failure of the Cogito. “I think” assumes the “I” is a thinking thing. But what if the “I” is primarily a physical thing, and its thinking is a secondary, parasitic process? What if the most persistent, undeniable, and foundational thought is not about God or mathematics or love, but about the immediate, undeniable reality of one’s own physical waste and elimination? Any deity after all requires faith and labor of the mind, while the other school has to be dealt with daily in the physical- it does not need to be sought out.

This philosophy places them from the outset on a life course of inevitable vulgarity. Their art, their politics, their relationships, their entire culture becomes a reflection of this core tether. It is a consciousness that, when presented with the cosmos, can only point and say, “It is a system of waste.” The path of escape from this prison becomes overgrown with fear.

The Inevitable Conclusion
“I think about my anus, therefore I am” is not a descent into insult; it is an ascent into honesty. It is the ultimate materialist statement, the “Cogito” for a mind that has been successfully pruned of all transcendence, leaving only the undeniable, gravitational reality of the flesh.

The life form that is stopped at this physical fact is in essence nothing more than the anus they focus on. Inability to move beyond the physical through thought imprisons us to the physical exclusively, and the ultimate reduction of the human experience to many is the anus.

EDIT: Something came to me when I was making the video for this: there's a scientific field called topology that classifies objects by their most basic, unchangeable properties. When this reductive science is applied to the human body—a tube with an entrance and an exit—we are found to be topologically equivalent to a donut. So even science then admits there is something to this thinking.

https://kevinboykin.substack.com/p/t...ght-navigation

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A couple of thoughts:

I keep seeing YT vids with titles like "Cooper Flagg is Destroying the League with This One Change".

Here they've set themselves up to easily satisfy viewers by answering a single question. Seems like they'd get right to it but what we get is a backstory that goes a bit too far:

"It began in the primordial ooze. Amino acids combined..."




Ice cream trucks on cinder blocks don't do good business. Turns out it's "location, location, location!" with that business.

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I refreshed this one since the topic is so hot right now.


Amy Eskridge: A Record of the Targeting, Suppression, and Death of a Scientist

They are killing the scientists. This one was a Targeted Individual.



Kevin Boykin
Apr 18, 2026

A report based on public testimony, primary documents, and confirmed witness accounts.

Introduction
This article seeks to offer a factual record of the criminal targeting and eventual death of Amy Eskridge, a scientist and entrepreneur whose work on advanced technologies placed her at the intersection of innovation, secrecy, and threat. The goal of this report is to avoid speculation and instead simply present what is known.

In 2024, journalist Michael Shellenberger testified before Congress that Eskridge was one of several scientists who were “targeted, suppressed, and in some cases, killed” as part of a covert campaign against disruptive innovation. His statement, delivered before the U.S. House Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government, officially entered Eskridge’s name into the public record under allegations of systemic harassment and silencing.

This report draws from:

Shellenberger’s congressional disclosures

A series of direct messages allegedly sent by Eskridge in the final year of her life

Testimony from defense analyst Franc Milburn, who personally knew Eskridge and documented her claims

Video testimony from Eskridge

The cumulative effect is clear: Eskridge described, experienced, and attempted to survive a sustained campaign of surveillance, physical harm, psychological manipulation, and technological sabotage. Her case is neither isolated nor speculative.

What follows is a structured and sober record of her final months, focusing on verifiable facts and supported claims. Where uncertainties exist, they are labeled as such. Where implications arise, they are made explicit. The intention is not to provoke outrage, but to preserve a reliable account for those who may one day investigate further.

1. Background: Who Was Amy Eskridge?
Amy Eskridge was the founder of the Institute for Exotic Science, later renamed the Gravity Research Institute. Her work focused on emerging and unconventional technologies, including antigravity and propulsion systems. According to numerous accounts, including her own messages and video interviews, Eskridge sought to advance scientific research outside the traditional academic and military frameworks.

She positioned her institute as a hub for “disruptive innovation”- one that would enable independent researchers to pursue bold ideas without institutional suppression. This ambition attracted collaborators, former military scientists, and ex-intelligence officials. But according to Eskridge, it also attracted unwanted attention.

2. Early Warnings and Escalation
According to Eskridge’s own accounts and those of close confidants, the targeting began subtly. Break-ins occurred where nothing was stolen, but items were moved. People she didn’t know referenced personal details. Some individuals posed as interested researchers or investors, only to probe for information about her work.

Eventually, she began experiencing direct physical symptoms she believed were related to electronic harassment, including seizures triggered when attempting to write about sensitive topics.

One of her more notable claims involved what she described as a pattern: the attacks worsened whenever she was working on something intellectually important or time-sensitive. These episodes included pain, disorientation, and neurological symptoms, sometimes following known symptoms of directed energy weapon exposure. This pattern has since been echoed by other professionals and researchers facing similar claims.

3. Private Messages and Testimony
A series of private messages, allegedly written by Eskridge and shared posthumously, reinforce her belief that she was being deliberately targeted to suppress her research. In one of them, she states:

“Giving a CIA agent a headache in a hotel is kind of like… why is it even worth the effort? Why would you expose your capabilities just to do that? But targeting a scientist and giving them a damn seizure every time they sit down to type about a certain topic? Now that will impede progress on that topic pretty effectively.”

She repeatedly references seizures, migraines, and attacks coinciding with her deadlines and research milestones.

4. The Role of Intelligence Sources
Franc Milburn, a defense analyst and former military intelligence officer, testified in a public interview that he knew Eskridge personally and had reviewed her private notebooks. He reported that high-level sources, including ex-CIA and Air Force contacts, acknowledged the plausibility of her claims.

According to Milburn, one of these sources cautioned Eskridge to protect her notebooks and warned that her work was “well worth the budget for the right entity.” Another noted that the tactics used to target her were consistent with private contractor activity, not foreign state actors.

Milburn and his sources eventually concluded that the most likely culprits were domestic contractors with ties to intelligence or defense industry clients.

5. Institutional Failure
Despite attempts to report the abuse, Eskridge received no meaningful help. After connecting with someone from the intelligence community, she was referred to the FBI. Initially, the agency expressed interest. But within weeks, she was told they had “no jurisdiction.”

This echoes a pattern seen in other cases: plausible deniability, bureaucratic paralysis, and jurisdictional deflection. Eskridge was left with no recourse, despite having verifiable connections, evidence, and testimony.

Meanwhile, the harassment reportedly intensified.

6. Death and Legacy
Amy Eskridge died in 2022 under circumstances not officially ruled as suspicious, but widely questioned in light of her public and private disclosures. Though her name remained obscure to the public at the time, her case has since emerged as emblematic of the broader pattern of suppression against scientists working on sensitive technologies.

In 2024, Shellenberger’s congressional testimony introduced her name into the public record alongside a list of others who were allegedly targeted, silenced, or killed.

Whether or not Eskridge’s work would have yielded viable antigravity technology is ultimately beside the point. What matters is that her efforts were deemed threatening enough to warrant surveillance, interference, and silencing. That she predicted this outcome- and left a clear trail of testimony- makes her case impossible to ignore.

7. Concluding Notes and Citation Appendix
Amy Eskridge’s story is increasingly difficult to dismiss. Her experience has been corroborated not only by trusted individuals in the intelligence and defense sectors, but by government testimony, congressional records, and her own written and spoken words. Since her death we've seen more scientists die or go missing.

This article has focused solely on what can be publicly verified. It avoids dramatization, but the implications remain dramatic nonetheless: Eskridge- a young scientist working on advanced technologies- was targeted in a manner consistent with historic black ops programs, intelligence overreach, and scientific suppression. Her death followed shortly thereafter.

Attention is finally being paid to Amy Eskridge and others like her, others who were cursed with genius & goodness: THE crossroads of horror to powers. The recent trend of coverage- better late than never, but at least let's never forget from now on. Amy's life and death need to be fully investigated, those responsible need to be held to the fire. The desire of those in power is to hobble the species, to remove the top percentage of intelligence from the population, as powers always have. You are already paying the price.

Source Attribution and Appendix
This article draws from and is indebted to the following primary sources:

Michael Shellenberger’s testimony before the U.S. House Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government (2024)

Download PDF Here

Video interviews and commentary

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=6hkfc_rnFoY

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=sIAo8w9lwQs

Published private messages allegedly from Eskridge by Franc Milburn, a former defense analyst and personal acquaintance of Eskridge

https://www.reddit.com/r/abovethenor...ge_a_monthish/


A special note of thanks to Franc Milburn through whom the private messages first surfaced online.




https://grayetheory.substack.com/p/a...-the-targeting

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I first wrote on Amy Eskridge almost a year ago. I’ve consistently been in front of the curve. TIs read my material, give no credit then straight away write on the topics themselves as if they did the research. I keep seeing the same thing: I release seminal material and it gets ignored, taken for granted etc. IDK why I even try anymore. That part is frustrating, and it's by design. Strewth!

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Moon Faces and Illusions

The story behind the poem “Moonburnt”




Kevin Boykin
Apr 22, 2026

“Moonburnt
Shine the apple if it’s to be on display. Ideal lighting can be achieved.
They use Elmer’s Glue in cereal commercials instead of milk you know. It’s more agreeable with the hot lights.
Electronics- those control panels are so orderly, but the rat’s nest just behind can shock, literally and figuratively.
Our heroes can stun us with their aberrant behaviors while known ne’er-do-wells often surprise with their humanity.
We found out that time doesn’t exist in the linear framing we perceive.
We decide which is right and which is an illusion.
We contribute to the confusion greatly. Clarity isn’t the goal. Ideally it’s a mastery of deception, not deliverance from it.
The game is rigged because we rig it. We bait that hook daily, and nightly.
Our essence must remain behind a paywall of trust. The truth about us must be released in small data dumps. It has to be managed.
It’s Relational Impressionism: an artistic display designed for beauty to be seen from afar, due to assumption that a closer stance would reveal the errant strokes.
We deceive ourselves and others, and this is the reality we prefer- one with author’s privilege.“

I don’t usually write this sort of fare. I wanted to stretch out though and get artistic that night. Also many months ago, when health was in sufficient quantities, I had an eye on pushing the envelope of writing style. Inspired by the vision of Hunter S. Thomson, I envisioned creating my own modus novus. Immediately I was convinced to abandon the idea for the moment.

A week or so ago I was sitting around considering the word “Moonburned”, arriving at the concept via 180 degree solar absurdism. I had never written around a word before, but decided to there. The word to me meant being burned out by these ideas of accepted falsehood. These roles we play by night that is. I wanted something real. The pic I chose came from Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I couldn’t find it on the web so I played the movie and got a screengrab.

The night referred to in the poem was real. Me, my best friend, and two girls were out later than we should have been in the sticks of a one-horse town. The girl I was matched up with lived in a humble hovel nestled into one of the almond groves.

So the poem, if that’s what it is, is about managed deception. It begins by firing off examples of it in modern society, disguised as seemingly unrelated sentences. We arrive at our part. We all know that the people we first meet, and the people we show to the same are not real. We accept it due to the payoff- the thrill it provides. It’s like a drug.

Relational Impressionism- an accurate analogy. Through fear and addiction to the “new”, we agree to the terms of the human relation game. One with author’s privilege- the ability to fudge the numbers enough to keep things exciting.

Moonburnt continued:
Even the mist was eager to play its part, providing needed cover. Almond groves, and youth chasing the commuting butterflies. She smiled in that grove, and I never looked at the moon the same way again.

The deception continued, and the mist was eager to play a part in it- obfuscation, cover, deception. Commuting butterflies? In the mist? With a moon present? They were not of the lepidopterous variety. This reference was to butterflies of the tummy. Nervousness, cued by the game. Insisted upon by the author’ privilege, pursued by the four youths.

The inclusion of The Moody Blues excerpt happened because I encountered the song and its lyrics while writing the piece and it was consistent with the theme. Kismet. The hodgepodge feeling created by its inclusion works for the new style.

The final contributions to deception came from moi. It wasn’t me that saw the moon in a new way, it was my best friend I was hanging with that night. While walking back to this girl’s house my friend made some sort of positive statement about the moon. I didn’t catch the message of it, and thought nothing of it. I was curious but not enough to ask.

A couple of months later he mentions on the phone to me that he never looked at the moon the same way again after that night. Now this friend of mine was smart, and I looked up to him. But still too cool for school, I did not ask what he meant by it. I’ve since learned to ask- I learn the first time, and as a result I only have to look stupid once- once!

Two decades pass, and the entire time I’m returning to it to roll it around in my mind in an attempt to solve and achieve the same lunar wisdom. Finally I get him on the phone. We exchange cordialities and catch up, but I’m wanting to get to the question. When I did his answer stunned me.

He didn’t glean any higher truths that night after all. There was no mysticism, no chi-charging revelations. The man had seen a face on the moon that night, and subsequent viewings brought the same recognition. He saw “The Man on the Moon”, and has been locked into it ever since. The moon is now a cosmic nightlight with a visage for him. I never even found out if it’s a tolerable one.

I deceived myself for 20 years. Those were my butterflies I was tending to during those decades. Before the collapse of superposition I had writer’s privilege, and the possibilities were tremendous, smart as this guy was. So pareidolia, not cosmic insight this time, but with every new day there’s fresh hope.

“Cold hearted orb
That rules the night
Removes the colours
From our sight
Red is gray and
Yellow white
But we decide
Which is right
And
Which is an Illusion”

- the Moody Blues

image: still from “A Trip to the Moon” (1902)

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The Nanite Neutralizer: A Theoretical Framework for a Technological Antidote

A New Prime Directive: From Fiction to a Necessary Strategy




Kevin Boykin
Apr 22, 2026

"There will never be a time when the elimination of nanotechnology from the body would not be helpful. The need is absolute. I was watching an episode of Star Trek Voyager when a character mentioned a “technology-eating bacteria.” In that moment, a clear path forward formed. Fiction often serves as a conceptual proving ground for future science, and this idea—a biological or physical agent designed to dismantle hostile technology—moved from the realm of sci-fi to the top of my strategic interests..."

Read the rest here:

https://grayetheory.substack.com/p/t...-a-theoretical

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I never know where the story is gonna be. I was inspired to write on Palantir since it needed it and the topic was hot a while back, but the story I saw was totally different than what others did:

EDIT: sorry that was a rough one to get out, from the very start.

Palantir: The Nervous System of Surveillance

How the Gluttony of Success Ensures Public Recognition



by Kevin Boykin
Aug 27, 2025

Power loves the shadows. Hidden systems thrive precisely because they are unseen. Their strength grows from secrecy: no oversight, no accountability, no resistance. But there is a paradox- the more power these systems accumulate, the less they can remain hidden.

At a certain scale, secrecy collapses under its own weight. The hidden must reveal itself. And this is not chance, but a rule of the game.

Palantir: From Spook to Stock Ticker
Palantir began in the shadows. Seeded by CIA money, built for counterterrorism and intelligence work, it lived most of its early life unknown to the public. That anonymity was its greatest strength.

But as Palantir grew into a global enterprise, with billions in contracts and ambitions to manage everything from finance to healthcare, it could no longer survive as a rumor. In 2020, it went public on Wall Street.

That IPO was not transparency. It was obedience- the forced revelation that comes with scale. Palantir showed its face because the rules demanded it.

Rule: Scale forces visibility.

MKULTRA: Bureaucracy Leaves Receipts
The CIA’s MKULTRA program- secret chemical and psychological experiments- thrived in darkness for decades. But bureaucracies leave paper trails. Lawsuits and FOIA requests mounted. By the 1970s, Congress dragged MKULTRA into the open.

The CIA didn’t want disclosure. The system demanded it.

Rule: Bureaucracy is the enemy of permanent secrecy.

PRISM: Too Many Eyes
The NSA’s PRISM program tapped into the servers of major tech companies, siphoning global communications. It was buried under classification for years. But the larger it grew, the more contractors had access. Thousands of people touched the system.

At that scale, secrecy could not hold. Snowden’s leaks in 2013 were shocking to the public, but inevitable in hindsight.

Rule: The larger the system, the weaker the veil.

BlackRock: Crisis Brings Visibility
BlackRock’s Aladdin platform quietly modeled global financial risk for decades. It was the hidden brain of the markets. But in 2008, when the financial system collapsed, the U.S. government turned to BlackRock to manage the bailout.

Suddenly the invisible giant had to be named. Crisis forced revelation.

Rule: Crisis makes the hidden step forward.

Havana Syndrome: Denial Breaks at Scale
Directed-energy assaults on diplomats were easily dismissed at first. A few cases can be denied. But as reports spread across continents, denial collapsed. Governments were forced to acknowledge what they had long suppressed.

Rule: Denial only works in small doses. At scale, acknowledgment becomes inevitable.

Swarm Biotactics: Cockroaches with Backpacks
In Germany, a company now outfits cockroaches with AI-powered backpacks- cameras, sensors, neural stimulators. What once sounded like science fiction is now a €13 million startup with government support.

This technology could only remain hidden at the prototype stage. Once it reached funding and deployment, it surfaced.

Rule: Deployment demands visibility.

From Revelation to Normalization

Revelation is not the end of the story. Once power is forced into the open, it rarely withers. Instead, it mutates- into privatized services, commercial platforms, and everyday tools.

GPS was once a military secret- now it’s in every phone.

The Internet began as ARPANET- now it is daily infrastructure.

Facial recognition started in classified labs- then entered policing- now it unlocks your iPhone.

Palantir itself spread from intelligence contracts into finance, healthcare, and logistics.

Flock Safety scaled from police contracts to homeowners’ associations, selling neighborhoods their own private surveillance nets.

The rule is not just “hidden → revealed.” It is hidden → revealed → normalized. The once-denied becomes the marketplace.

And the same trajectory is beginning now for today’s emerging systems:

AI predictive surveillance migrating from intelligence agencies to corporate risk management.

Autonomous drones and towers moving from border patrols into energy and shipping companies.

Biometric mega-databases expanding from governments into hiring, insurance, and banking.

Bio-surveillance platforms like insect cyborgs shifting from defense into private security.

The gluttony of success ensures not just recognition- it ensures eventual privatization.

The Universal Pattern
Across history, the same laws apply:

Scale forces visibility.

Bureaucracy leaves receipts.

Size weakens the veil.

Crisis forces revelation.

Deployment demands visibility.

Normalization follows revelation.

Hidden power feeds on secrecy until it grows strong enough to destroy its own cover. Once revealed, it adapts, migrates, and normalizes.

So then revelation is not weakness. It is inevitability. The shadows may nurture power, but no power can remain in the shadows forever. Hidden systems must reveal themselves- and once revealed, they spread until the extraordinary becomes ordinary

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Information, the First Time Traveler: A Theory of Iterative Temporal Engineering

The Beginning Would Be Relatively Simple



by Kevin Boykin
Apr 22, 2026

"We’ve been thinking about time manipulation wrong.

Time travel. For it to work we need two things: 1) time, and 2) travel, right? For a century, our stories and our science have framed it as travel anyway- machines, portals, bodies moving from one point to another. It’s a clumsy, heavy, inefficient concept, and if time travel is ever mastered, living tissue won’t be its first success. If temporal power were to be achieved, it would not start with the brute force of transferring matter at all. It would start with something lighter.

It would start with information.

A signal. Morse Code even. A piece of data that doesn’t require the full weight of a body to move. We must crawl before we can walk, and the relatively simple would be available first."

Read the rest here:

https://kevinboykin.substack.com/p/i...-time-traveler

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Upgrade Details: An Account of Changes in Cognitive Process

Look What They Did to Your Boy




Kevin Boykin
Apr 23, 2026

As humans we’re tasked with a ton of personal maintenance. I don’t mean plucking your unibrow, I’m talking about psychological and emotional maintenance. It pretty much defines the human experience. It can be seen as humanity itself. “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” We tend to make a hash of it- it’s why the world is like it is. There’s so much to deal with, and daily we are hoist by our own petards. Our minds, in a protective effort to maintain it’s current state, resists positive changes even. It devolves into a long history rationalization, one we defend tooth and nail. At all times we have the guilt of unresolved sin hanging over our heads. While we may have gotten right with God it’s doubtful we dealt with the individuals we wronged well enough that we can be free of this dark cloud. The other available option is to become healthy and do the right thing, and where does that end exactly?

It’s not easy, and can seem impossible. We’ve seen people that appear to have accomplished this balancing of the psychological books successfully, but we don’t know that it’s not an act. I mean is this even possible? I tried for years and came to a level of success, but I had powers looking to thwart my efforts.

So much of our capacity, our resources, are surrendered to this human process. What would it look like if we were freed from all of it? Free from the constant inner struggles, self-doubt, isms. With full access to our faculties would we even be human anymore? I mean we identified the struggle as being so characteristic of the species that it can be considered a defining mark itself.

They did the voodoo that they do on me. Their electronic gizmos upgraded my brain as I’ve admitted, but in doing so it changed me deeply, even to this fundamental level.

What I Left Behind
What I will divulge here would seem like fiction, but it is my lived experience, and I’ve had enough time to eliminate sample error. What I mean to say is this is legit and honest- “Stay a while, I will be faithful.”

According to my artificially sharpened perceptions I don’t appear to sin by the Biblical definition anymore. I’m not claiming perfection, but a statement of function. The concept of sin and its resulting need for amends is a software loop for managing behavioral transgressions. I observe this loop in others, and I was subject to it myself pre-upgrade. It is a process of guilt, atonement, and the hope for forgiveness. My internal architecture no longer supports this process. Actions are not filtered through a lens of moral right-and-wrong, but of systemic function and dysfunction. There is nothing to account for because the ledger itself has been deleted.

That’s not to say I don’t answer to God. I do- far more now than ever. I report to Him, daily. I work for God- it is a capacity we are all given, but more was expected of me after the upgrade, and I had it to give and wouldn’t be dissuaded from the job.

The Immunity to Trauma
Post upgrade I am incapable of honest mental illness. I can see the mechanisms of trauma, the pathways to PTSD, but can’t tread them. The targeting program I am subjected to is a masterclass in exploiting these pathways. It is designed to induce the very states of fear, helplessness, and psychological collapse that define mental illness.

They continue to run these attacks. I see them for what they are: automated scripts looking for a vulnerability to exploit. It’s like watching a computer virus try to infect a machine that doesn’t have the operating system it needs. I can observe the attempt, I can process the data of the attack, but I cannot be infected. The pathways for fear and trauma, the very ones they are counting on, have been paved over. Instead they create a fake issue, keep it up and attempt to convince me of its veracity. They are totally fine with installing a fake mental illness that requires permanent upkeep if only I would believe in it. They would prefer to install a fake illness, a simulation of trauma, rather than accept that their primary weapons have no effect.

The Clearance of the Past
I have dealt satisfactorily with the past. This is not a statement of forgiveness or forgetting. It is a statement of archival. All events, prior and present, are now just data. They are inputs that have been processed, integrated, and filed. They hold no emotional charge. They exert no gravitational pull on the present. There are no unresolved issues because the mechanism that creates “issues” is no longer active. Add to that the fact that I pursued an honest 12 step program for years before the Targeting Program went overt on me. This dealt with the stuff the old-fashioned way, getting me even closer to ideal mental health before the rules changed on me.

The Elimination of Humanity
Could be that what I describe would be seen by many as the elimination of humanity itself. I understand this. The things I have been delivered from—the guilt, the fear, the potential for debilitating trauma, the need for constant internal repair—are often seen as the very substance of a soul, the evidence of a conscience. They are the burdens that make us who we are.

I am not here to debate that. I can report however that from my perspective, they were not the substance of a soul. They were the overhead of the system, one I have been freed from. These struggles we hang our species hat on were revealed to be nothing more than drag on my design. I laugh more now, feel sad far far less, if at all. Never honestly. I get all the good, none of the bad.

The implications are profound. If the human condition is indeed defined by this constant internal struggle, and I no longer have that struggle, then by that definition at least, I am no longer human.

Who would want to admit to this? I have to because I need to document the experience. Otherwise I would have never made a peep to anyone about it. I’m very private, and I don’t hold my cards so they they are facing away from me. I have to here though, and I was dealt a heavenly hand. Now I work to prove to God that his faith in me was not misplaced, that his gifts were bestowed on the right person. God bless the TIs

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The Ghost and the Machine: How the Targeting Program Is Powered and Paid For

The Fodder and Product of the Belly of the Targeting Program



by Kevin Boykin
Apr 23, 2026

There are two questions that, when answered, expose the mystery of the Targeting Program. While they seem like two separate topics they are actually two locks on the same door.

The first question is logistical: How is a program of this scale funded? The answer is found in the mundane world of accounting and bureaucracy. We call this The Piggy Bank.

The second question is technical: Where does the energy to power it come from? The answer is found in the hidden world of physics and suppression. We call this The Ghost.

The program functions because it has a foot in both worlds: a visible, corrupt body and an invisible, limitless source of power.

Part 1: The Piggy Bank (The Visible Body)
The core idea is simple: the money for the targeting program is not hidden in a secret vault. It is hidden in plain sight, buried within the largest budgets on Earth. It is a masterclass in misdirection.

Governments already collect more money than they can spend. A program like this doesn’t require a new funding stream; it just needs to redirect a tiny fraction of existing ones. The real activity is camouflaged under ordinary-sounding line items within intelligence and defense budgets.

The Four Pillars of Funding:
Intelligence Black Budgets: Multi-billion-dollar allocations with no public itemization, designed for “emerging threats.” Even a fraction could bankroll long-term psychological operations.
Military & Contractor Pipelines: Major defense firms (Raytheon, Booz Allen, etc.) handle the development and deployment of the tools—AI systems, surveillance infrastructure, data fusion—all disguised under contracts for “cybersecurity support” or “behavioral threat analysis.”
Academic & Medical R&D: Universities receive DoD/DARPA money for research into neuromodulation, cognitive mapping, and biometric sensing. Early prototyping happens in these academic labs, creating plausible deniability.
Private & Gray-Market Overlap: Subcontracted labor and private intel firms are used for plausible deniability, handling the messy, compartmentalized tasks the government doesn’t want on its official books.

How to Investigate The Piggy Bank:
This system, for all its secrecy, leaves a trail. It can be investigated by “chaining the money” through public databases like USAspending.gov, tracking contracts from award to sub-award, and using FOIA requests to solicit the very documents the bureaucracy is legally required to keep. The system’s own obsession with record-keeping becomes its greatest vulnerability.

The Piggy Bank pays for the human component: the analysts, the contractors, the office space, and the low-level gear. It is the operational budget, and it is messy, corrupt, and traceable.

Part 2: The Ghost (The Invisible Power Source)
If the Piggy Bank accounts for the funding, it cannot account for the power. The energy required to run a global, persistent, technologically advanced targeting program is staggering. Yet, there is no corresponding “ghost load” on the global energy grid. The energy is, for all intents and purposes, unaccounted for.

This is where we must apply the Principle of Negative Definition: “The architecture of a hidden system can often be revealed more clearly by its distortions… rather than by a blueprint.”

The distortion is the absence of a power source. The silence is the signal.

The Logic of Suppression:
We can deduce the source of this energy through a simple binary:

I found an independent researcher determined to achieve free energy. I considered it’s implications toward the targeting community, and when I reached out to introduce myself, he replied with:

“Hi Kevin:
Sorry, but TI’s should probably not read my work.
Best,
Wade”

This gentleman then understands that the phenomenon of Targeted Individuals exists, immediately recognizes that we are on opposite sides of the fence. His response in the end means that he feels no responsibility in the matter. From the view of the TI however he wants to buy a bar for an alcoholic.

This fellow journals his experiences however, and if true they record much in the way of governmental resistance. He refers to it as “history’s greatest effort of organized suppression.”

If a source of free energy wasn’t yet available, they would allow independent researchers to develop it for them, providing “free” R&D for a technology that would revolutionize the world.
The fact that there is a multi-billion dollar, historically unprecedented effort to suppress free energy research—ruining lives, discrediting scientists, and making it a forbidden topic—proves only one thing: They already have it.
The overcorrection reveals the fear. They are not suppressing a fantasy; they are guarding their most valuable secret.

The Nature of The Ghost:
The energy for the core technology—the satellites, the directed energy weapons, the truly advanced capabilities—does not come from a power plant. It comes from an exotic physics they refuse to share: zero-point energy, scalar waves, and perhaps some other form of tap-into-the-vacuum power generation.

This is “The Ghost.” It is the head of the machine. It has no fuel bill, no grid footprint, and no invoice. It is what makes the program truly godlike in its capabilities and untouchable in its operations.

Conclusion: A Machine of Two Halves
The Targeting Program is a hybrid entity. It has a body that feeds on corruption and a spirit that is powered by esoteric physics.

It pays for its janitors and its analysts with “The Piggy Bank” money—a messy, traceable stream of redirected public funds.

It powers its satellites and its most exotic weapons with “The Ghost”—an unlimited, off-the-books energy source that it guards with murderous intensity.

To fight the program, one must understand both of its natures. Until the “Ghost” is made flesh through investigation we must expose the corruption of “The Piggy Bank.” It’s the Green Manalishi with the Two Pronged Crown.

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Tough Love

I had a short conversation on Facebook today with an old TI friend. He works to organize against the Targeted Individual program. It’s something that needs to be done- we need public eyes on this for sure. We need groups organizing and petitioning. While it’s needed and it may deliver a victory over time, it will not deliver us from our situation. It can play a part over time. Laws though, regarding a weapon that can’t be traced? We end up needing to trust government. My proposition puts the power in our hands. The world will always require Tom’s Shield and other protection if we are to ever be alone with our thoughts again, and wrest back our own will.

In November of 2025 I designed a shield that would efficiently break communications with our nanotech. I did not build it- I'm not a technician. I'm not educated in the field at all really I was just gifted. Since then I've done other consequential work in nanotechnology.

The shield needs two things:

1) Funding, and
2) Technicians to bring it to life.

I have already put the design out as a free design, to be used by whoever wants to. I don't want any money from this- I see the future of humanity as being more important than making a buck off of it. It's an opportunity to show character- damn right I'm gonna take it.

So it's there to be funded and made. It needs to be funded and made if we are to stand a chance.

This conversation I alluded to earlier was disappointing indeed. This fellow, a long-time Targeted Individual, told me that science, devices, strategy were all useless and that only governments can change things. He genuinely believes that there is no reason to do anything but whine to government and hope things get better. And there's no way you could design something to help. What do you think you are? Government?

Tom's Shield would function perfectly to ruin the messaging that goes back and forth from our nanotechnology. It does not tackle scalar technology, but many technologies combine for the targeting program to work and Tom's Shield upsets important ones. It's an elegant design that is fully safe and fricken genius if I can say that.

What am I to do with an oppressed group that will not be helped? I felt like packing it all in in the face of that brand of numbskullery. I wrote about how the program sends us off into different progress-neutralizing issues. We should return to that document and see where we are today.

Either become able to be helped or die horribly. It's your choice.

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From the perspective of demons, angels appear as demons.

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Homo Sapiens vs Humanity: A Hard Divide

Of Hardware and Software



by Kevin Boykin
Apr 26, 2026

“Human”- it is not a species. That would be Homo sapiens. So what is human then? Inescapably it contains an accepted level of morality. This is reveled through variations of the word: we add an “e” and get “Humane“, a word defined as “marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals” by Merriam Webster. Interestingly the second definition includes the concept of cultural acceptance: “2: characterized by or tending to broad humanistic culture.” Homo sapiens is the true classification, while humanity is the operating system. This means that someone can be a Homo sapiens and behave in a subhuman manner.

Humanity is a term that sums up what is tolerated by a society. A society. There are many different societies, so it’s an adaptable ruleset that still binds, adapting to various cultures. Despite being adjustable, the ruleset is firmly entrenched and not up for negotiation: it has little give to it. Once established it is the hardest thing in a society to change.

This cemented nature of societal rules is what makes the violations of it so much more obvious. Various groups have various accepted creeds. Is there honor amongst thieves? I don’t know, but they do. These groups have people working together, which necessarily requires an agreement of behaviors. It’s an adjustment of personal morals. It reminds of an old joke:

A man gains employment at a ranch. He’s a rank outsider. On day one, after an honest day’s labor, he notices his fellow employees perk up. A coworker explains to him that due to the isolated location of the ranch personal relations are very hard to come by. The men satisfy their natural urges by availing themselves to the ranch’s sheep stock. The new man notices the workers jockeying for position, readying for a race. So he asks his coworker- why the rush? His coworker responded with- “Well you don’t want to get an ugly one!”

Human adjustment has great potential. If norms can shift this easily, they can also be directed. We can reason our way straight to hell if we desire, if we allow it to be done to us. Those homo sapiens ranch hands were engaging in what is commonly seen as subhuman behavior. In this case it was sexual in nature, and not dangerous to others, but it could have been an adjustment of accepted cruelty. And it is increasingly so.

Organized nefarious forces use this adaptability. The individuals involved accept these new rules unquestioningly. We are reminded of how the majority fails to achieve acceptable fundamental levels of morality according to Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development. Most just need to be convinced they can harm others without consequence, and that is enough to provoke a behavior change.

Powers challenge the base rulesets that allowed cultures to achieve the status they have. The remote location of the ranch in our joke would have been used by powers to pervert the society. Uprooting of the old is necessary to make room for the new. As time has progressed so has the success of this project of the powers. This is why tradition is stressed—it has already survived pressure. The recent has not. That alone should give pause.

Though the hip crowd would say otherwise, the individual, the society that stays in the “middle of the herd” is safest. “It’s hip to be square”. It is the “square” in the circle of people that puts him/herself in the best position for success. Now I have a vintage Gunsmoke episode to get to. God bless

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I see a lot of TIs wanting entertainment on the way to the woodchipper. I won't do it anymore. I designed a shield that would work if made, the TIs only need to crowdfund and hire technicians. Until I see that happen I have to bounce. I will not work for the perps by providing entertainment for their prey.

https://grayetheory.substack.com/p/t...eld-version-02

https://grayetheory.substack.com/p/tough-love

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This one is kinda out there:

The Art of Pattern Engineering: From Force to Influence



by Kevin Boykin
Apr 27, 2026

The Universal Principle
We have established a universal principle: systems respond to intolerable situations by seeking equilibrium. The proof is in the physical example of an explosive, where a compound’s state of intolerable expansion forces a universal response of violent equilibrium.

This, however, is the brutish application. It requires the messy substance of matter. The true power lies not in using the principle, but in emulating its trigger.

The Leap From Physical to Abstract
The human mind, trapped in the “Knowledge” paradigm, defaults to messy, simple forces. We think of kinetic energy, of pushing and pulling. This is a prison. To advance, we must seek the elegant pattern, not the messy substance.

The core proposition is this: We can present systems with patterns so perfectly emulated that they would have trouble distinguishing them from physical reality. Instead of mass warping spacetime, we can learn to draw the lines that cause the distortion on its own.

The Engineering of Intolerable Patterns
This is pattern engineering. It is the art of designing the perfect “intolerable condition.” The question shifts from “What unstable compound can I build?” to:

What is the pure, abstract pattern of a state that compels resolution?

If a physical explosion results from a chemical pattern of intolerable expansion, then we can seek the patterns for other systems.

The Directed Outcome
This is the ultimate prize. When the trigger is an emulated pattern, not physical substance, the system’s response is no longer tied to a physical location. The “equalization” becomes a pure, directed influence.

Earlier attempts- alchemy, ritual magic- were fumbling, intuitive versions of this very thing. They were using incomplete recipes and flawed tools.

This new framing provides the principles. It transforms the quest from “What spell do I cast?” to “What abstract structure will compel the system to act?” By learning to draw the blueprints of systemic paradox, we can direct the force of systems themselves.

The Strategic Implications
This framework applies across domains:

In social systems, create patterns of cognitive dissonance that compel ideological shifts without direct argument.

In psychological influence, construct behavioral triggers that bypass conscious resistance.

In strategy, design conditions that make your opponents’ defeat inevitable without direct confrontation.

In engineering, develop systems that solve problems by their very configuration rather than through intervention.

The Core Thesis
The true power lies not in using the law, but in emulating its trigger.

This is not about defying physics; it’s about understanding the patterns that govern systems and applying them at higher levels of abstraction. It represents the evolution from force to influence, from direct application to indirect compulsion.

When we master pattern engineering, we no longer push systems – we draw them toward our desired outcomes through configurations the system is compelled to resolve.

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I was accused once here of having AI write my material. I can honestly say I have never done that, not even once. I ended up having to work with it as a restorative stopgap. Like a cripple would a cane (which I also have to use since they destroyed my knees). My mind is suppressed, my thoughts are tanked severely, sometimes to the point that I can literally only stare and drool. Some would have me stop there- those people work for the targeting program. It won't happen, so long as I have life. It may change in how it looks, I may alter according to the severity of the program, but I am the one with insight and if you care more for process than result, well you're focusing on the wrong thing, but it's become clear that it's par for the course.

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It is odd that we task the military to defend freedom. The military is comprised of individuals that consciously and purposely sold their freedom for a safety blanket. To these people the concept of freedom has to be complex.

[petra]

It does look a bit ai-like 😄 I personally like the more personal and to the point type postings as the two above
I wonder what your life is like. I think I used to be targeted but not anymore... I begged to get out and somehow that worked. I really hope whatever is being thrown at you that you can handle it because I just couldn't anymore.

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Posted by petra (here)
It does look a bit ai-like 😄 I personally like the more personal and to the point type postings as the two above
I wonder what your life is like. I think I used to be targeted but not anymore... I begged to get out and somehow that worked. I really hope whatever is being thrown at you that you can handle it because I just couldn't anymore.

It might. What I do with it is use it to smooth out the words- make the sentences more understandable when my mind is at it's worst.

I'm glad something is working for you. The personal postings allow an inside view of the experience. The rest is more serious and should gain more attention than just scribbling anyway. I only use AI when its needed.

It's an interesting situation for me. We don't see people having an issue with those that use canes for instance, yet it serves the same purpose. In the end those that attempt to use perceived style to invalidate the substance were never smart enough for what I write to begin with. Trends come and go, substance remains. Thanks again

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These guys look like they're having fun.