Something happened after my wife died. Then her best friend called.

[The KMan]

My wife of 34 years, Anastasia (Suzie) passed away on 20 March 2022 after a five year battle with cancer. We were both raised orthodox Christian but neither of us was practising. Over the years we'd come to a different understanding, that we are free multidimensional light beings, part of the creator, with self governing principles in our spiritual DNA and that on leaving this realm we merge back with that source and choose freely what to do next.

In the time just before she passed, we did something deliberate together. We talked about what she should do at the moment of transition. We agreed she would challenge anything that presented itself, her father, anyone, including Jesus, to confirm its true identity. She would refuse the call of any tunnel of light. Instead, she would travel by thought, across time, space, dimensions and creations and in her own words, "surf across the creations of the creator of all universes through vibrant and beautiful colours and patterns".

Some weeks after she died, I had an experience. I "woke up" in another part of the house, looked down at my feet, laughed, and thought I must be sleepwalking. Then I looked up and she was standing several feet from me, with a slightly different hairstyle and her familiar beaming smile. There was an exchange I can no longer fully recall, but I know I asked her without speaking, "What are you doing here? You died." She said, in an excited tone, "Come and see outside how beautiful it is." We stepped out into the enclosed entertainment area of the house. A bright flash and I woke up, sat up in bed and knew immediately that wasn't a dream. I went back to sleep.

A few weeks later, the same thing again but this time I "woke up" already outside, in that same area. She embraced me in a long kiss. I could feel the warmth of her lips and the warmth of her breath through her nostrils. She slowly withdrew, waved, the flash and I was awake in bed. I haven't experienced her presence since.

That alone, I'd accept, has plausible grief state explanations. Vivid bereavement experiences are well documented and don't require any metaphysical claim to be real as experiences.

But, several months later, her best friend's husband visited. As he was leaving, he mentioned that his wife Maria had had an unusual dream and wondered if she could call me. He wouldn't elaborate.

Maria called. Her words, as close as I can recall: "Hey, what is going on? I don't understand. Suzie came to me in a dream but it wasn't like a dream, telling me to stop worrying about her and that she is free, surfing across galaxies, colour spectrums and dimensions. WTF is going on this is freaking me out?"

Maria and Suzie were close friends but their orientations on death differed. Maria is more conventionally Christian. The "surfing across galaxies, colour spectrums and dimensions" framework was Suzie's and mine, worked out privately, in preparation. Maria hadn't been part of those last minute conversations and had no exposure to that vocabulary. She wasn't confirming something familiar. She was actually asking me to help her make sense of something foreign that had arrived in her sleep, in a register that didn't match her own beliefs.

I've sat with this for four years. I've read widely, Newton, Suich, Cameron Day, and many others and I've declined to fit what happened into any of their frameworks. The encounters and Maria's call don't validate Newton's councils or Day's demiurge or any of the elaborate cosmologies on offer. To me, at least at this point in time, they suggest something simpler, that what you consciously prepare for before death may shape what happens afterward, and that information can sometimes cross between people in ways the materialist account doesn't comfortably handle.

I'm posting this because I'd like to hear from others who have had experiences with a similar evidential signature. Not visitation dreams alone but experiences where private content, vocabulary, imagery, details, appeared in a third-party's awareness without that third-party having access to the original source material. The kind of experience that doesn't reduce cleanly to "grief brain replaying recent conversations."

I'm not looking to argue frameworks or build a cosmology. Just interested in whether others have observed this particular pattern and what they made of it.

[Szymon]

Hey KMan,

Interesting story. I will share my story about my mother, who accidentally passed away in 2007. She was boiling water for tea when she passed away. She was found in the kitchen by my stepfather just before the kettle ran dry. She had not closed the lid properly, so sooner or later these plastic kettles would have burned out.

Since then, she has been clicking kettles in the places I have lived. Early on, it happened quite a lot, even when the kettle was off the base or sitting in a box, waiting to be replaced. Right now, she still does, but the frequency is about once every 2-4 weeks. The same click. I've documented this in another thread on PA.

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1555691

Good to see another Aussie here.

Cheers,
Szymon

[The KMan]

Posted by Szymon (here)
Hey KMan,

Interesting story. I will share my story about my mother, who accidentally passed away in 2007. She was boiling water for tea when she passed away. She was found in the kitchen by my stepfather just before the kettle ran dry. She had not closed the lid properly, so sooner or later these plastic kettles would have burned out.

Since then, she has been clicking kettles in the places I have lived. Early on, it happened quite a lot, even when the kettle was off the base or sitting in a box, waiting to be replaced. Right now, she still does, but the frequency is about once every 2-4 weeks. The same click. I've documented this in another thread on PA.

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1555691

Good to see another Aussie here.

Cheers,
Szymon

Thanks Szymon and good to see another Aussie too. The kettle clicks are striking especially that they happen even with the kettle off the base or boxed up which rules out a few mundane explanations. The fact that friends witness them too adds weight.

The pattern I'm specifically curious about is a slightly tighter one where private content, vocabulary, imagery, specific details, reaches someone who could not have known it. Your mum's clicks are a recurring presence which is its own thing and probably more common than people admit.

What I'm hunting is the rarer evidential signature where information crosses to a third party. Has anything in that category come up in your research? You mentioned you've been looking into NDEs, wondering if you have seen the third party transmission pattern in the literature. Cheers Kman.

[Open Minded Dude]

Hi Kman, thanks for sharing, very interesting experience you had.

I think many of us here on Avalon had so-called ADC (After Death Communication) experiences too.

I had it too in different forms with my father, my grandmas (both), a friend who had suicided. It happened in different circumstances such as dreams, out-of-body/lucid-dreams, visions, signs and synchronicities ('coincidences' that were definitely more than that), and even one during a kind of 'healing trance' session (online) with a friend healer facilitating it although an ADC with someone from the other side was not even intended. But she (the healer friend) is also specialised in this service and so I suppose the contact happened 'accidentally' during the trance healing.

What you are seeking and asking for is kind of special though. Therefore I doubt that someone here will have had an ADC experience with a third party corroborating vital and specific information. But who knows?

Anyway for what it's worth, and just as a useful hint, you might want to search on this site:

https://www.adcrf.org/new_stories.html

Maybe they have a search function for you to find something although I am not sure. They also have two sister sites for NDE and OBE (NDERF, OBERF) that are similarly structures with lots of personal experiences.

Some of the stories might contain some verified data, although maybe not always sth corroborated by a third party.

However, I just found this one on the "New Stories" page and it might indeed already fit your category. It's between a woman and her mother concerning later shared information from the grandfather's passing:

https://www.adcrf.org/penny_w_adc.htm

Experience description:

When I was around 30 years old, my grandfather was in hospital and terminally ill with cancer. At the time of his death, I was with him in the hospital along with my mother. Before he died and before I arrived he had specifically asked my mother to call me and ask me to come to the hospital. I left my work and came to the hospital. A couple of hours later he died with my mother and I by his bedside.

After he died, I had to leave. My mother stayed longer to sit next to his dead body as she said goodbye. She did not tell me anything about what she did after I left until after the experienced shared death experience I describe below.

About two months later, just before my mother was due to take my grandfather's ashes to be scattered on the golf course with my Nana. I feel asleep one night. But, I was half-awake when suddenly my grandfather was next to me on my bed. This actually unsettled me to begin with and then I remember falling asleep properly. The next thing I knew I was with my grandfather in what felt like and still feels like very real. But it could be called a dream-like experience.

I was now with him walking on the golf course. He was telling me that he was fine now and where he was it was much better than where he had been on earth. He joked and said in his very normal, lovely sense of humor, "It’s a damn sight better than how it feels when you are alive, believe me." He laughed, we both laughed. I then went on to ask him how will I be able to know this is not just a dream when I wake up to tell the family. He told me straight away, 'Remember the number 16-80-08 and go and tell your mother, it’s to do with the hospital visit you both had with me. She will know.'

When I awoke I profoundly remembered what he told me, feeling like I had not just dreamed of him, but actually saw him. My mother at this time was quite skeptical about life after death. I knew I needed to pass on this message to her, so I felt apprehensive. I called her and tried to tell her to be as open-minded as possible. I told her that I had a dream with grandfather and that he had given me this number to pass onto you, 16-80-08. My mother went very quiet and told me that she had to go and would get back to me. She needed to go and check something out. After the call when she got back, she told me that after I left the hospital, she had secretly taken his hospital band from his wrist. I had not seen her do that when I was at the hospital. On the rest band was the number "16-80-08." She had taken this and hidden it at home. After I phoned her, she went to look at the wrist band. She noticed that the number in the inside of the band had the number he had given me in the dream. After he died, he was aware she had taken his wrist band and that it had the number on it. He was able to tell me from the other side; tell me months later, that she had taken this and it had this number on it. This felt like a profound shared-death experience between myself, my grandfather and mother.

Maybe you can find some more there (I really found this after 2 minutes) and post here too.

[The KMan]

Posted by Open Minded Dude (here)
Hi Kman, thanks for sharing, very interesting experience you had.

I think many of us here on Avalon had so-called ADC (After Death Communication) experiences too.

I had it too in different forms with my father, my grandmas (both), a friend who had suicided. It happened in different circumstances such as dreams, out-of-body/lucid-dreams, visions, signs and synchronicities ('coincidences' that were definitely more than that), and even one during a kind of 'healing trance' session (online) with a friend healer facilitating it although an ADC with someone from the other side was not even intended. But she (the healer friend) is also specialised in this service and so I suppose the contact happened 'accidentally' during the trance healing.

What you are seeking and asking for is kind of special though. Therefore I doubt that someone here will have had an ADC experience with a third party corroborating vital and specific information. But who knows?

Anyway for what it's worth, and just as a useful hint, you might want to search on this site:

https://www.adcrf.org/new_stories.html

Maybe they have a search function for you to find something although I am not sure. They also have two sister sites for NDE and OBE (NDERF, OBERF) that are similarly structures with lots of personal experiences.

Some of the stories might contain some verified data, although maybe not always sth corroborated by a third party.

However, I just found this one on the "New Stories" page and it might indeed already fit your category. It's between a woman and her mother concerning later shared information from the grandfather's passing:

https://www.adcrf.org/penny_w_adc.htm

Experience description:

When I was around 30 years old, my grandfather was in hospital and terminally ill with cancer. At the time of his death, I was with him in the hospital along with my mother. Before he died and before I arrived he had specifically asked my mother to call me and ask me to come to the hospital. I left my work and came to the hospital. A couple of hours later he died with my mother and I by his bedside.

After he died, I had to leave. My mother stayed longer to sit next to his dead body as she said goodbye. She did not tell me anything about what she did after I left until after the experienced shared death experience I describe below.

About two months later, just before my mother was due to take my grandfather's ashes to be scattered on the golf course with my Nana. I feel asleep one night. But, I was half-awake when suddenly my grandfather was next to me on my bed. This actually unsettled me to begin with and then I remember falling asleep properly. The next thing I knew I was with my grandfather in what felt like and still feels like very real. But it could be called a dream-like experience.

I was now with him walking on the golf course. He was telling me that he was fine now and where he was it was much better than where he had been on earth. He joked and said in his very normal, lovely sense of humor, "It’s a damn sight better than how it feels when you are alive, believe me." He laughed, we both laughed. I then went on to ask him how will I be able to know this is not just a dream when I wake up to tell the family. He told me straight away, 'Remember the number 16-80-08 and go and tell your mother, it’s to do with the hospital visit you both had with me. She will know.'

When I awoke I profoundly remembered what he told me, feeling like I had not just dreamed of him, but actually saw him. My mother at this time was quite skeptical about life after death. I knew I needed to pass on this message to her, so I felt apprehensive. I called her and tried to tell her to be as open-minded as possible. I told her that I had a dream with grandfather and that he had given me this number to pass onto you, 16-80-08. My mother went very quiet and told me that she had to go and would get back to me. She needed to go and check something out. After the call when she got back, she told me that after I left the hospital, she had secretly taken his hospital band from his wrist. I had not seen her do that when I was at the hospital. On the rest band was the number "16-80-08." She had taken this and hidden it at home. After I phoned her, she went to look at the wrist band. She noticed that the number in the inside of the band had the number he had given me in the dream. After he died, he was aware she had taken his wrist band and that it had the number on it. He was able to tell me from the other side; tell me months later, that she had taken this and it had this number on it. This felt like a profound shared-death experience between myself, my grandfather and mother.

Maybe you can find some more there (I really found this after 2 minutes) and post here too.

Thanks Open Minded Dude, that’s exactly the kind of reply I was hoping for.

Penny W’s case shifts something for me. Up to now I’ve held what happened with Maria as a single data point, real to me, but hard to place. Knowing there’s at least one other case with the same structure and that these are being quietly collected makes it feel less isolated and more like a category. That now changes how I sit with it.

ADC as a framing works too. Broad enough for the wider range but still leaves room for the tighter subset that I’m interested in.

I’ll be certainly spending some time in the archive. Greatly appreciate the pointer.
Cheers, KMan

[Szymon]

Posted by The KMan (here)

Posted by Szymon (here)
Hey KMan,

Interesting story. I will share my story about my mother, who accidentally passed away in 2007. She was boiling water for tea when she passed away. She was found in the kitchen by my stepfather just before the kettle ran dry. She had not closed the lid properly, so sooner or later these plastic kettles would have burned out.

Since then, she has been clicking kettles in the places I have lived. Early on, it happened quite a lot, even when the kettle was off the base or sitting in a box, waiting to be replaced. Right now, she still does, but the frequency is about once every 2-4 weeks. The same click. I've documented this in another thread on PA.

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1555691

Good to see another Aussie here.

Cheers,
Szymon

Thanks Szymon and good to see another Aussie too. The kettle clicks are striking especially that they happen even with the kettle off the base or boxed up which rules out a few mundane explanations. The fact that friends witness them too adds weight.

The pattern I'm specifically curious about is a slightly tighter one where private content, vocabulary, imagery, specific details, reaches someone who could not have known it. Your mum's clicks are a recurring presence which is its own thing and probably more common than people admit.

What I'm hunting is the rarer evidential signature where information crosses to a third party. Has anything in that category come up in your research? You mentioned you've been looking into NDEs, wondering if you have seen the third party transmission pattern in the literature. Cheers Kman.

Hey Kman,

The only story I can relate to is from when my mother was dying back in 2007. When I found out at 2am that my mother had died, I drove 50km to her house in my brand-new car, and it just didn't want to work. At one stage I thought the gearbox was gone. The sounds it was making were unbelievable. I thought I never make it to her house, but I pressed on with the new car and all the noises disappeared. A couple of years later, when I related this story to my uncles in Poland, he told me that, before they knew she had passed over, their car stopped working halfway through the trip back home. Only after finding out that she had passed at the same time did they realise their car had temporarily stopped working. So, in a way, it's sort of a third party. I guess that when a person passes over, they have a bit more energy to use up and notify their loved ones.

On another note, the morning after the event (8 hours later), I meditated and mentally told Mum to go to the light. Towards the end of the meditation, I suddenly saw pure white light with one eye, as if it were an overlay on the physical dimension. I thought, great, now the third eye is opening. This lasted about 5-10 minutes after the meditation, then gradually disappeared.

From that point forward, the kettle started clicking, and it has followed me ever since. My wife and friends have heard it too.

[The KMan]

Posted by Szymon (here)

Posted by The KMan (here)

Posted by Szymon (here)
Hey KMan,

Interesting story. I will share my story about my mother, who accidentally passed away in 2007. She was boiling water for tea when she passed away. She was found in the kitchen by my stepfather just before the kettle ran dry. She had not closed the lid properly, so sooner or later these plastic kettles would have burned out.

Since then, she has been clicking kettles in the places I have lived. Early on, it happened quite a lot, even when the kettle was off the base or sitting in a box, waiting to be replaced. Right now, she still does, but the frequency is about once every 2-4 weeks. The same click. I've documented this in another thread on PA.

https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...=1#post1555691

Good to see another Aussie here.

Cheers,
Szymon

Thanks Szymon and good to see another Aussie too. The kettle clicks are striking especially that they happen even with the kettle off the base or boxed up which rules out a few mundane explanations. The fact that friends witness them too adds weight.

The pattern I'm specifically curious about is a slightly tighter one where private content, vocabulary, imagery, specific details, reaches someone who could not have known it. Your mum's clicks are a recurring presence which is its own thing and probably more common than people admit.

What I'm hunting is the rarer evidential signature where information crosses to a third party. Has anything in that category come up in your research? You mentioned you've been looking into NDEs, wondering if you have seen the third party transmission pattern in the literature. Cheers Kman.

Hey Kman,

The only story I can relate to is from when my mother was dying back in 2007. When I found out at 2am that my mother had died, I drove 50km to her house in my brand-new car, and it just didn't want to work. At one stage I thought the gearbox was gone. The sounds it was making were unbelievable. I thought I never make it to her house, but I pressed on with the new car and all the noises disappeared. A couple of years later, when I related this story to my uncles in Poland, he told me that, before they knew she had passed over, their car stopped working halfway through the trip back home. Only after finding out that she had passed at the same time did they realise their car had temporarily stopped working. So, in a way, it's sort of a third party. I guess that when a person passes over, they have a bit more energy to use up and notify their loved ones.

On another note, the morning after the event (8 hours later), I meditated and mentally told Mum to go to the light. Towards the end of the meditation, I suddenly saw pure white light with one eye, as if it were an overlay on the physical dimension. I thought, great, now the third eye is opening. This lasted about 5-10 minutes after the meditation, then gradually disappeared.

From that point forward, the kettle clicking started, and it has followed me ever since. My wife and friends have heard it too.

Thanks Szymon. The car story gets me in that you and those involved only made the connection later when all heard your mother had passed. They weren't looking for meaning at the time, the meaning found them afterward. Two cars failing at the same moment across continents is the kind of thing that is hard to file away once you know about it.

The meditation the next morning is its own thing too. Five to ten minutes of overlay is long enough to take seriously.
Appreciate the fuller picture. Cheers Kman.

[ArjunaArcana]

Hello Fellow Avalonians, havent been here for a while.


My mom passed away 2 months ago, after many years of struggle.

2/18/2026 around 2:10-2:20 PM ( she passed earlier on that morning ) this happened

I looked up to the sky and said: Ana ( my mom's name ) mission accomplished, immediately after that this song played out. it was Fur Elise ( Beethoven ).

My Mom's favorite piece was Fur Elise, and it came after mine uttering such words bottom line:

Mom is alive, somewhere she is free of any bondage and suffering.

She is someplace else, on another world out there that we cannot see.

I have other stories to tell but for know suffices to say that: Life never ends and one day we will all be alright.

[Ernie Nemeth]

My wife visits every day. I know it's her because I suddenly feel like I can't catch my breath - she succumbed to OCPD.

[grapevine]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DZNDC89nwaY

The short itself doesn't relate to your experience KMan, but the comment written below it reinforces still further your own experience:

"Years ago when my first wife had passed away unexpectedly- I was devastated and very depressed- drinking heavily daily and drinking myself to sleep so I wouldn't have nightmares..self medicating a heartbreak and depression...I remember a dream right before I woke up where I was walking through a long dark cold hallway or tunnel like place that opened into a wonderful garden fairytale like party full of people in glowing white it was dimly lit and they were all dancing with someone. I couldn't make out faces or tell who they were but My wife was there and when she became close enough to me that I could see her face- I embraced her and we were both crying she was smooching me all over my face, like she used to do and she danced with me just like everyone else was doing. We spun around in a ballroom type of waltz dance- which is funny because I'm not much of a dancer, but in the dream I must have been Fred Astaire! I was overjoyed with a warm feeling throughout my whole body and tears in my eyes.. I could smell her hair and perfume and everything.. and she kept telling me that she was ok. After a short time she kept looking into the darkness over our shoulders - like an unheard voice was calling her. I didn't want to leave her but she told me that I wasn't allowed to stay there and that I had to go .. there was a pulling feeling both of her being pulled from my arms and of myself being pulled backwards towards the dark hallway.. and then I woke up. It was a dream that felt so real, when I woke up I could still smell her in the air in my room and feel the tears on my cheeks. To this day I don't know if I was dying in my sleep- and she saved me or I was visited by her spirit to say it was ok to let her go. I prefer think of the latter, and in truth I tried to drink myself back to that garden party for many nights but always woke up the next morning with no memory or dream. Eventually I got through the grief and depression era of her passing."

I found the "pact" you made about whether to go into the tunnel or not very provocative, and I'm inclined to do the same, having discussed this with my children. My daughter said she's not going anywhere unless I come to her with all our cats, but therein lies the catch, and of course the fact that we're all here reading this means that we've all been caught out before, maybe many times. I read an account somewhere (?) that there's a grid and you can slip into one of the spaces and escape, but none of the NDE's mention anything like that. And also I'm a little taken aback that the NDE experiencer is always willing to leave their loved ones behind without a second thought, not to mention their own body which bore the brunt of their physical journey in that lifetime. The reason I mention that is maybe the spirit leaves but not the personality behind it. Your story has opened the gates to so many unanswered questions . . .

When you were discussing the details with your wife, KMan, did you arrange a future meeting point?

[Szymon]

Posted by grapevine (here)
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DZNDC89nwaY

The short itself doesn't relate to your experience KMan, but the comment written below it reinforces still further your own experience:

"Years ago when my first wife had passed away unexpectedly- I was devastated and very depressed- drinking heavily daily and drinking myself to sleep so I wouldn't have nightmares..self medicating a heartbreak and depression...I remember a dream right before I woke up where I was walking through a long dark cold hallway or tunnel like place that opened into a wonderful garden fairytale like party full of people in glowing white it was dimly lit and they were all dancing with someone. I couldn't make out faces or tell who they were but My wife was there and when she became close enough to me that I could see her face- I embraced her and we were both crying she was smooching me all over my face, like she used to do and she danced with me just like everyone else was doing. We spun around in a ballroom type of waltz dance- which is funny because I'm not much of a dancer, but in the dream I must have been Fred Astaire! I was overjoyed with a warm feeling throughout my whole body and tears in my eyes.. I could smell her hair and perfume and everything.. and she kept telling me that she was ok. After a short time she kept looking into the darkness over our shoulders - like an unheard voice was calling her. I didn't want to leave her but she told me that I wasn't allowed to stay there and that I had to go .. there was a pulling feeling both of her being pulled from my arms and of myself being pulled backwards towards the dark hallway.. and then I woke up. It was a dream that felt so real, when I woke up I could still smell her in the air in my room and feel the tears on my cheeks. To this day I don't know if I was dying in my sleep- and she saved me or I was visited by her spirit to say it was ok to let her go. I prefer think of the latter, and in truth I tried to drink myself back to that garden party for many nights but always woke up the next morning with no memory or dream. Eventually I got through the grief and depression era of her passing."

I found the "pact" you made about whether to go into the tunnel or not very provocative, and I'm inclined to do the same, having discussed this with my children. My daughter said she's not going anywhere unless I come to her with all our cats, but therein lies the catch, and of course the fact that we're all here reading this means that we've all been caught out before, maybe many times. I read an account somewhere (?) that there's a grid and you can slip into one of the spaces and escape, but none of the NDE's mention anything like that. And also I'm a little taken aback that the NDE experiencer is always willing to leave their loved ones behind without a second thought, not to mention their own body which bore the brunt of their physical journey in that lifetime. The reason I mention that is maybe the spirit leaves but not the personality behind it. Your story has opened the gates to so many unanswered questions . . .

When you were discussing the details with your wife, KMan, did you arrange a future meeting point?

So I just finished reading your post grapevine, and the kettle clicks, right after I finish reading your post.

[The KMan]

Posted by grapevine (here)
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DZNDC89nwaY

The short itself doesn't relate to your experience KMan, but the comment written below it reinforces still further your own experience:

"Years ago when my first wife had passed away unexpectedly- I was devastated and very depressed- drinking heavily daily and drinking myself to sleep so I wouldn't have nightmares..self medicating a heartbreak and depression...I remember a dream right before I woke up where I was walking through a long dark cold hallway or tunnel like place that opened into a wonderful garden fairytale like party full of people in glowing white it was dimly lit and they were all dancing with someone. I couldn't make out faces or tell who they were but My wife was there and when she became close enough to me that I could see her face- I embraced her and we were both crying she was smooching me all over my face, like she used to do and she danced with me just like everyone else was doing. We spun around in a ballroom type of waltz dance- which is funny because I'm not much of a dancer, but in the dream I must have been Fred Astaire! I was overjoyed with a warm feeling throughout my whole body and tears in my eyes.. I could smell her hair and perfume and everything.. and she kept telling me that she was ok. After a short time she kept looking into the darkness over our shoulders - like an unheard voice was calling her. I didn't want to leave her but she told me that I wasn't allowed to stay there and that I had to go .. there was a pulling feeling both of her being pulled from my arms and of myself being pulled backwards towards the dark hallway.. and then I woke up. It was a dream that felt so real, when I woke up I could still smell her in the air in my room and feel the tears on my cheeks. To this day I don't know if I was dying in my sleep- and she saved me or I was visited by her spirit to say it was ok to let her go. I prefer think of the latter, and in truth I tried to drink myself back to that garden party for many nights but always woke up the next morning with no memory or dream. Eventually I got through the grief and depression era of her passing."

I found the "pact" you made about whether to go into the tunnel or not very provocative, and I'm inclined to do the same, having discussed this with my children. My daughter said she's not going anywhere unless I come to her with all our cats, but therein lies the catch, and of course the fact that we're all here reading this means that we've all been caught out before, maybe many times. I read an account somewhere (?) that there's a grid and you can slip into one of the spaces and escape, but none of the NDE's mention anything like that. And also I'm a little taken aback that the NDE experiencer is always willing to leave their loved ones behind without a second thought, not to mention their own body which bore the brunt of their physical journey in that lifetime. The reason I mention that is maybe the spirit leaves but not the personality behind it. Your story has opened the gates to so many unanswered questions . . .

When you were discussing the details with your wife, KMan, did you arrange a future meeting point?

Thank you grapevine and to all who have read along. The comment you brought across is moving in its own right. The realness of the dream, the scent of her still in the room when he woke. I can see why it stayed with you.

To your direct question, no, we did not arrange a meeting point. No place, no time, no sign agreed between us. By the end I was ready to let her go completely, ready to accept she had freed herself and was free to surf the vast wonders of creation itself. That was the work I had done. And I meant it. Which is part of why what came through later sat with me the way it did. I was not waiting at an arranged corner. I had stopped waiting.

On the grid, well that actually is not a new question for me. It has been on the back of my mind since my late teens, long before any of this with Suzie. What I've sat with is that souls come here freely but that this plane has been compromised in ways most of us aren't told about and that some of what gets described at transition (the tunnels, the welcoming figures) may function less as destination and more as a mechanism. The NDE literature itself becomes part of the priming. People come back with a vocabulary, that vocabulary spreads, the next person passes through expecting it. I hold this loosely. It is a working hypothesis and not a settled view, and I have kept it on the shelf alongside several others.

What it did do though was shape the preparation Suzie and I undertook together. We took it seriously enough to plan around. She agreed that at the moment of transition she would challenge anything that presented itself (her father, anyone, including any figure appearing as Jesus) and ask it to confirm its true identity before going anywhere with it. She would refuse the call of any tunnel of light. She would travel by thought and focus, across time and space and dimensions and creations, and she would hold to herself as a free, sovereign, eternal, multidimensional being of light. The surfing language was ours, our shared way of imagining what that might look like once she was clear of the body.

I'm still searching, as I was before. But the preparation is the part of the story I haven't said much about until now and your question about pacts opened the door to it.

Your point about NDE experiencers seeming so willing to leave loved ones behind and the spirit versus personality question underneath it, is one I've turned over too. I'd frame it slightly differently. What I felt with Suzie at the end was not her becoming willing to leave us. It was that her work here was genuinely complete, in a way that allowed the leaving to be clean rather than torn. Your daughter's instinct that she's not going anywhere without you and the cats is its own kind of pact, and there's something right in it. Love is the part that doesn't seem to want to travel alone.

Thank you for asking the harder questions.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by The KMan (here)
I'm posting this because I'd like to hear from others who have had experiences with a similar evidential signature. Not visitation dreams alone but experiences where private content, vocabulary, imagery, details, appeared in a third-party's awareness without that third-party having access to the original source material. The kind of experience that doesn't reduce cleanly to "grief brain replaying recent conversations."

I'm not looking to argue frameworks or build a cosmology. Just interested in whether others have observed this particular pattern and what they made of it.

The KMan, sorry for the loss of Suzie.


Unlike your arrangement with Suzie, my ex-husband and dear friend and I didn’t have a specific plan. Only that who ever passed first would visit to confirm that life goes on. Below is a repost. He still pops in from time to time, just like he used to when he was alive. Now, though, it’s mostly to encourage me to keep on the journey and to reference the light he sees in terms of health and energetic fields.

~~~~~~~~

I had been thinking of my ex-husband and dear friend the last few days, nights and in some of my dreams. I chalked it up to that the 2nd anniversary of his passing was in about a week. Well, he popped in and we had a chat. He apologized for ‘stuff’ that I’ll skip here.

Apologize is a word I never heard him use in 40+ years, so the skeptic in me questioned if it was really him. I suggested a sign. I closed my eyes to better concentrate on a feeling, a knowing, a sound, or a visual. He told me I’d miss it with my eyes closed.

A minute later, I saw the digital clock blink off. It stayed off while I checked to see if the electricity went out. It didn’t because the microwave would’ve needed to be reprogrammed. Then when I came back into the living room, the clock came back on.

Even if there’s a logical explanation for the clock going off, there’s something to be said for the timing.