My Manic Episode and TBI

[Dilettante]

Hello all, it has been a long while since I posted.

I am currently recovering and in therapy following an incident that happened on January 29th of this year. Leading up to the event, I had driven from Florida to Colorado in three days following a vacation with a friend in Fort Lauderdale. I was in a manic psychotic state and experiencing many delusional thoughts leading up to the incident.

I was living in Aurora at the time, close enough to Denver that while driving around I saw the RTD light rail commuter train out of the corner of my right field of view near I-25 and Colorado Boulevard. I drove to an apartment complex near the tracks and got out of my car. My delusional thinking at the time was that there was a group of people planning to find me after I had been struck by the train and then... well, the rest of the delusion does not warrant description.

Although I have no memory of it, I was struck by the train as a pedestrian in a tunnel that goes under Colorado Boulevard. I was picked up by emergency medical staff and treated at Denver Health for the next three weeks. Eventually, I was put on oral risperidone and later an injectable form called Uzedy, which pretty much cleared up the psychotic thinking. I then spent one more week in a rehab hospital. Ever since I got out, I have been at home undergoing therapies such as SLP, OT, PT, and RT as I continue to stabilize and recover.

Fortunately, I am currently only taking Uzedy, along with trazodone to help me sleep better. Otherwise, my body is relatively unscathed, aside from the fact that my spleen had to be removed after it was ruptured during the impact. I am very grateful to all the doctors, nurses, and therapists who have helped me so far.

If I could ask any favor of the forum, it would be advice on how best to achieve academic success following a traumatic brain injury (TBI). I already have an MS in Bioinformatics, so I am not planning to pursue another degree anytime soon, but I love academics and consider myself a lifelong learner. That is one reason why Project Avalon is so interesting to me. My memory is poor now, especially considering how good it used to be. Interestingly, because IQ primarily tests pattern recognition, my IQ appears unchanged despite having lost a significant amount of memory function — though I realize that does not really matter.

Thank you all for continuing the great work on the thread. It is a very interesting place to visit and read, even though I have been AFK for quite some time. Apologies for the difficult update, but I thought I might as well post because I know how good of researchers you all are.

[EDIT: Proofread the original post for clarity]

[Sue (Ayt)]

Glad you are emerging from your dark night, Dilettante.


Your episode sounds terrifying, and now is a perfect time for reflection, alignment, and rebuilding your earthly self into an ever more Source aligned being, which is where our Power truly lies.

Take your time, and be gentle with yourself.
Your Higher Self will offer your best guidance for your healing, and your emergence to a higher, more joyfully aligned state, if you just allow it.
All new and improved!

The paradox may be that of surrender.
Source has it handled.

[Kryztian]

Posted by Dilettante (here)
If I could ask any favor of the forum, it would be in regards to how best to have academic success following a traumatic brain injury (TBI). While I already have an MS in Bioinformatics, so I am not preparing to get another degree any time soon, I love academics and am a lifelong learner. It's why Project Avalon is so interesting to me!

One thing I would suggest is not to be forthcoming about any mental disabilities you have now or may have had in the past. Academic institutions can be very unsympathetic and will use this to disqualify you from jobs. A friend of mine got early onset dementia and the ferocity of the academic institution was on full display when it came to having her removed from a tenured job she had excelled at for over two decades. (It was the right thing for her to retire, but, the swiftness and persistence of the Dean of Faculty and his pack of attack hyenas was quite alarming.)

Academic institutions have spent millions of dollars to make their facilities handicapped accessible, and they love to display how progressive and empathetic they are by hiring people in wheelchairs and who have other physical disabilities. But that empathy does not extend to anyone who has experienced mental disabilities. I would keep that history secret, as well as any information about medications you are taking now or have taken in the past.

[rgray222]

When you first joined and began posting, I found your post clever and thought-provoking, even though I did not always agree with what you had to say. So I mention this out of genuine concern, and it is certainly only a suggestion. This forum discusses many conspiracy theories, which might not be the most supportive environment for someone who may be prone to manic episodes and has experienced a traumatic brain injury.

You obviously have very strong analytcial skills and have good problem-solving abilities, and the more I think about it, you might enjoy molecular biology or some sort of computational biology, or even genetics, but there is a danger in the rise of artificial intelligence. Maybe learning how to use AI to understand biological systems through some sort of computation method might fit the bill. Whatever you decide, I wish you well.

[Dilettante]

Thank you all for the replies so far.

Since May is mental health awareness month, I wanted to include a link to Mental Health America where you can take free mental health quizzes online at any time. If there’s anything that could come out of my accident, it would be that it’s okay to talk to doctors and close family members about how you’re feeling and even what’s on your mind.

I had gotten so used to a stoic stance towards mental health that when the bottom fell out and I had nowhere to turn on my own, I was left helpless. It’s other people who have helped me when I couldn’t even help myself.

[grapevine]

Neuroplasticity

Hello Dilettante

I read your post yesterday and was filled with a sense of my own indequacy at offering "helpful advice", which is somewhat subjective. However, all the replies you've had so far have had individual slants and so my advice would be to develop new neural pathways.

Many years ago my beautiful cousin, who was poised to become a top athlete as well as excelling at unversity, suffered a bleed on the brain at age 21 and through forming new pathways he's been able to walk and talk again and his life is much the same as it would have been, sans his former athletic ability.

It wasn't easy and it's true that his circumstances are unlike yours but nevertheless the human brain can be programmed in remarkable ways. There are many videos online and here's just one which may or may not suit you. However, building mental strategies is worth sticking with imo and finding just the right video/presenter to inspire you.

Hand in hand with creating new links will be developing strategies to deal with any unwelcome thoughts. No doubt you'll recognise the signs well beforehand and can either work on self hypnposis and meditation to counteract and create balance. Self hypnosis can work with just a trigger word, which needn't take the sometimes longish relaxing stage.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=pe3ndaTKjuM

"Discover the power of neuroplasticity and how you can rewire your brain for mental strength and resilience. This video explains the science behind neuroplasticity and provides practical strategies for harnessing its potential to enhance your mental well-being. Learn how your brain can adapt and change throughout life, and unlock the key to a stronger, more resilient you."

[Harmony]

Hi Dilettante, I am sure many on the forum noticed your absence, and I know I was hoping you were ok. I am sorry to hear how difficult it has been for you and am pleased you are recovering. Thank you for sharing your experiences.


As you mentioned, trying to be stoic when times are tough is something we are so conditioned to think, forgeting our own personal needs, to be kind and caring to ourselves as well, leaving space to be still and listen to our most inner being without blame or needing to be more. Naturally openings appear, ideas or situations present themselves without pushing ourselves into what we think we have to do.


I have also had a difficult time healthwise this year and am recovering on many levels, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I also noticed how important it is to realise sometimes letting go of "being self sufficient" sometimes and letting others help is a big realisation. When we look at the world and beyond we notice and feel everything is connected on all levels and constantly reciprocating, moving energies, working as an organism. We still have choices to make that will have a certain outcome and guided by our highest intuition in the moment, but in cooperation with all else.


I was listening to an interview with Richard Rudd which I found interesting which I will link below and also his free meditations which I find can be helpful when your mind gets too "busy".

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=lsgrSQlOTcA

And to listen to helpful meditations: https://genekeys.com/listen/

Posted by Dilettante (here)
Thank you all for the replies so far.

Since May is mental health awareness month, I wanted to include a link to Mental Health America where you can take free mental health quizzes online at any time. If there’s anything that could come out of my accident, it would be that it’s okay to talk to doctors and close family members about how you’re feeling and even what’s on your mind.

I had gotten so used to a stoic stance towards mental health that when the bottom fell out and I had nowhere to turn on my own, I was left helpless. It’s other people who have helped me when I couldn’t even help myself.

[onawah]

I was severely injured at the age of 24 in 1972 when, as a pedestrian, I was hit and nearly killed by a speeding drunk hit and run driver.
I had a NDE and had to spend months recovering in 2 different hospitals.
The impact was to my left hip, but I flew up into the air and from one side of the street to the other where I landed and whacked my head on concrete hard enough to give me a concussion, whiplash and several cracked vertebrae in my neck (as well as lots of broken bones, etc.)

What hospital equipment doesn't measure is the damage such traumas inflict on the aura, the protective field of energy around the body.
Mine was certainly damaged, and as a result I am very sensitive to electromagnetic frequencies, which make it hard to focus, to sleep and to remember.
Although it may seem like a contraindication since Spooky2 devices are electronic, mine has helped me with those problems. I really notice the difference when it's turned off, and I only have the most basic model.
There are a couple of threads here about Spooky 2:
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...light=spooky+2
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...light=spooky+2

Dietary improvments can help a lot with healing. There is a good thread here with lots of helpful info about that:
https://projectavalon.net/forum4/sho...f+most+disease

Sprouting, juicing, herbs, supplements, Spirulina and fresh aloe vera gel smoothies have helped a lot with my own healing process.
I would imagine stem cell therapy would be helpful though pricey (I could never afford it).
There are various devices created to protect oneself from EMFs.
(A good source of info about that is the EMF Guy; more about him following).
Less expensive methods of healing (though they require more work) come from accessing lots of live enzymes and other nutrients such as those you get from sprouting and juicing, and that will help your body to produce more stem cells naturally.
Aloe vera gel will help cleanse your body from toxins (and there are usually plenty of those produced when you are taking pharmaceuticals), as will Spirulina which is rich in chlorophyll, and is a super food with many benefits including help with ADHD and similar problems with memory, focus, etc.
This is the best one on the market, imho: https://www.newphoenixrising.com/

Although the injuries sustained to my bones and joints have not healed completely, my immune system is strong and I haven't had a cold or flu in many years, and I don't take any pharmaceuticals at all except an occasional aspirin or naproxen for pain.(I've grown to be pretty stoic when it comes to pain.)
I used to exercise a lot and that certainly helped too, though it was a few years after the NDE before I was able to start that.
Eventually I was going to the gym 3x weekly and working out strenuously for 2 hours or more, plus doing a lot of walking.
At 78, I'm no longer able to exercise much, but those years of intensive physicality still paid off.
Meditation has been a useful tool ongoing. For newbies to meditation, it can be very helpful to find a group of meditators whose vibe you feel comfortable with.

There is a journalist named Nick Pineault, otherwise known as "The EMF Guy" who has an email newsletter and gives good advice on how to deal with brain fog and other symptoms created by EMF sensitivity.
His email address is: np@theemfguy.com and youtube channel is: https://www.youtube.com/@TheEMFGuy
He is recommending a new documentary which can be viewed free online from May 25-June 1. See:
https://theemfguy.com/op/body-burden...314&ref=152020
Trailer here:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Fg1Fo9Y6wPo

Hoping this helps--good luck!

[Mike Gorman]

Hello there mr dilletante, I suppose many of us are dilletantes when you think about it, I am sorry to hear of your manic episode - I recognize some familiar elements to this as I have also experienced some manic/depressive times, mostly self induced as a foolish youth taking substances I had no real business taking but being curious & bored with convention I went ahead. Also about 15 year's back I had a severe attack from some virus which affected my 'labyrinth' or inner-ear assembly, this resulted in a Meunier's disease type outcome & I suspect a brain injury which to this day affects my waking life, severe Tinnitus & balance disruption.
Like yourself I am a self-taught man, although I also have formal university qualifications with Philosophy, technology & science - after my attack I was worried that my intellect would be compromised, however I continued with my career as a computer/network engineer, and I was able to carry on with this to good effect, carry on learning.
As Rupert Sheldrake has proposed - and I agree with him, our consciousness does not primarily reside in our Brain, this behaves as more of a tuning mechanism & allows us to access the 'mind-at-large' - organic damage to our 'scone' can prevent us from fully tuning into consciousness but this is also a very resilient, 'plastic' organ: we can overcome many obstacles & keep learning new skills & take in new information. So, be of good cheer, I am certain you will continue to develop, if I can overcome a severe attack to my brain & still function at a good level, so can you. All the very best to you.

[Dilettante]

Thank you all for the replies once again and especially to grapevine for the video on neuroplasticity. It is true that the brain can rewire itself, but unfortunately it has a hard time healing itself physically. So, primarily the damage is done and I will ensure to the best of my ability that no more damage comes to my brain. The networks that can rewire themselves will and I have to entrust that my body is making the best changes that it can right now.

For those who'd like to know more about TBI, but from an action sports perspective, consider watching The Crash Reel (2013) - it was a really good movie. It's primarily about snowboarder Kevin Pearce and his rivalry with Shaun White. It also includes a feature from Dr. Daniel Amen, a neuropsychiatrist who wrote the book Change Your Brain, Change Your Life (a book my sister lent me) which also talks about neuroplasticity from the thought-pattern level of control.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=2KkFZ-QC53Q