Here and Now...What's Happening?

[Marianne]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Marianne (here)
...........................

I just love these encoded messages...
they send my mind racing....
what might it MEAN, Marianne?"

Ulli, it means I'm a goofball with my mousepad!

[jorr lundstrom]

Well, sky has been grey as Gandalfs cloak for two days now, since our littke

incident with chemtrails. Hm.............................

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=3Kei_Ur8gUY

[ulli]

Posted by Sierra (here)
Wow Meeradas, what a trip that must've been.

ViralSpiral hugs kisses hugs kisses more hugs until you are thoroughly hugged and then an extra one.

Nora, I see you ...

Ernie, Transition I hope you are doing better now, if not, neither am I (though I thought I was ... ) (Forget the chickens, forget the counting, just forget it. Just hatch when you can.)

Astrid, sometimes I have to grit my teeth, with a knot in my stomach, and hover in cowardice, before I can force myself to hit the "Post Quick Reply". Complete chicken ****. Believe me. Your stories of your path, both out of the darkness, and into Shamanism, give me so much hope. Please keep telling us your story. I am a hermit as well. And I WANT to be a hermit. I have no desire to step out in the world since I withdrew four years ago when I got an ERO. A time will come no doubt, but for me, not now. Here is way social enough ... (love The Village) (kiss kiss ulli)

How are you doing on the chandelier? I "saw" it with little round things, also dangling crystal, on the outside of the big round thing towards the bottom ... is that going to "be"?

Carmody, thank you for the introduction to Lamb. I've been grazing over there

Ulli, do you have dolphins in Barbados? Can you swim with dolphins in Barbados?

And as for y'all in that discussion, peyote was my poison of choice after much sampling of the offerings of the day. Though, I sure had fun on LSD ... charging down a mountain side at a dead run leaping and whooping, doesn't get much better than that. Newbies... sunlight. Always. Sunlight.

Purple Lama: ... The Village weather vane cast in the shape of Queen Ulli's dear departed husband (the third) (or was it the fourth?) in Grecian robes and a wreath of laurel leaves wrapped around his bald head held aloft with wings of tarnished green copper creaks, considers turning, but doesn't. It is too humid, too still, too overcast. The breeze freshens ... a single beam of sunlight breaks through the clouds casting light on the heaving grey seas tossing spume wrack and driftwood on The Village beach. Purple Lama is walking blindly paying no attention to the calling sea gulls the waddling penguins the sea otters crashing into the barking seals as they slide down the water chutes left so kindly for their pleasure by The Village children but that is because only the seals are silly enough to park their blubbers at the end of a water chute, the crabs skittering out of his way though they'd love to stay and talk but they are too polite to interrupt the deep thoughts of one beloved by their kind as Lotus Blossom gently pulls the curtains closed and lights a fire in the kitchen to prepare Purple Lama's supper giving one last glance at the setting sun limning Purple Lama's purple hat as he bends over in astonishment and picks up an amethyst ... rolling to his feet weakly propelled by the sea from a land that never touched shore on this earth.

Calz: ... a breeze blows the curtain aside just to check on two little boys ...

Sierra thinking of ripples of water, candle light showing translucence, time to wash my hair, my heart has slowed down, let's post this in peace, no hesitation

Ok, this post of yours means you won the audition
and we reserve for you a lead role in the Village movie.
The Narratress!
who, accompanied by her cat and magic wand, introduces all and everyone
and gives explanations whenever our minds get blurred by thoughts like 'what is it all about?'
This movie will not be one where the Happy Ending comes after several hours of battle,
and then closes abruptly,
but where the Happy Beginning has a brief teething episode and then moves onto even happier times.
This movie is made for Carmody, who's life will take a 180 degree turn as a result.
Gone are the days of misery....the memories of pain and loss....
MAN!! we are all just STARTING OUT Here and Now.

We are the New World Order, and that is the order of our day.
The other NWO was actually an old world dis-order.

[eaglespirit]

Posted by ulli (here)
Gone are the days of misery....the memories of pain and loss....
MAN!! we are all just STARTING OUT Here and Now.

...and THAT is in beautiful rhythm with my powerful vision in South America...
stepping in and up to Personal Higher Empowerment that Changes it ALL : )

[ulli]

Just want to share a great sync, which I just had with another Avalon member who pmed me....
(these things are getting better and better by the day.... Transiten, if you are reading this, I hope you are well and doing great on your tour...)


Just before opening this PM of yours I noticed that I joined Avalon on November 19th, 2010. One year ago.
Then I also remembered, how odd, I arrived in Barbados exactly 37 years ago, to the day....
and on the 19th of November of 1974 met my former husband.
So then I remembered how I had boarded that first flight, leaving NYC on a cold Nvember day,
to arrive in this beautiful Caribbean island...
and the book I had bought at JFK to read on the flight was Kurt Vonnegut's "CAT'S CRADLE"
and that book began something like this:
flying to the island of San Marino on the Caribbean....etc.
a total parallel to my own realty of that moment..that's why I will never forget that syncronicity.

Just now was thinking of finding the book on Amazon, or scribd.com, and reading that first page again.

And here you are mentioning a CAT'S CRADLE as the shape of your chart.
Whoa!


Just checked online...the island in Cats's Cradle was called San Lorenzo, not San Marino...
Another sync...as San Lorenzo used to be a favorite restaurant in London, two doors from my Beauchamp Place shop.

[ulli]

Posted by jorr lundstrom (here)
Well, sky has been grey as Gandalfs cloak for two days now, since our littke

incident with chemtrails. Hm.............................

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=3Kei_Ur8gUY

I thought Chemtrails was their response to global warming...but why would they want to cool Sweden down, in November...beats me.

[jorr lundstrom]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by jorr lundstrom (here)
Well, sky has been grey as Gandalfs cloak for two days now, since our littke

incident with chemtrails. Hm.............................

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=3Kei_Ur8gUY

I thought Chemtrails was their response to global warming...but why would they want to cool Sweden down, in November...beats me.

We have freezing during the nights and two days ago when they were spraying was the

first nice day we have had for a long time. Blue sky, no clouds and no wind. Best weather

to spray chemtrails cos you can predict exactly where the fallout lands. There are a lot of

benefits with chemtrails, the aluminium makes the soil high in Ph which kills off trees and

plants, its toxic for the microscopic life in the soil, so we get rid of those small creeps that

is necessary for grass and weeds. Creates respiratory problems in humans, ppl with asthma

congregate in the waiting rooms in health care facitities. Also a good agent to evolve skin problems.

Ppl can even get blind from getting a lot of aluminiums into the system. So you see Ulli, the idea of

a Global warming is just an illusion they can hide a lot of other activities behind, and ppl are buying

into the BS of a Global warming. Im not worried about all those Bluebeam, WW3 and all those

catastrophies that never happens, but chemtrails are happening on adaily basis around the world

today. NOW

[Playdo of Ataraxas]

Here and now, another day at work. I'm looking forward to another weekend of cool sunshine, raking leaves with the kids and then playing in them, tending to the winter garden, and winterizing the chicken coop. Wieder an die Arbiet, Sepp!

[ulli]

Posted by Playdo of Ataraxas (here)
Here and now, another day at work. I'm looking forward to another weekend of cool sunshine, raking leaves with the kids and then playing in them, tending to the winter garden, and winterizing the chicken coop. Wieder an die Arbiet, Sepp!

Hmmm, where did that bit of German come from, I wonder?
My mother was a hard worker, but more so than most Germans as she had the added need
to impress her farmer father-in-law that city girls, too, can work hard...

the other bit is what got to me...
when she passed away 5 years ago she joined her beloved brother Heinz, whom she called him Sepp...
I had forgotten all about that until I saw this post...

[Carmody]

Posted by modwiz (here)

Posted by Carmody (here)
Nasty life, nasty astrological alignments. Up for approx 40 hours now, all of it with notable stress. I'm drinking a 'knockout beer', and then expecting that I'll be getting up after about 6 hours of fitful sleep, to continue where I left off.

Just make sure you don't use workarounds to the spell checker to start cussing.

That's a bit of a private joke between Mod and I.

Just before this, I made what is basically the same post, minus the gentle chiding I gave a member for being angry and posting angry. I said this is what's going on in my life right now. But I was trying to indicate that their getting around the 'granny checker' on the forum, purposely, by misspelling swear words..to increase the vitriol of their post, was not the idea, was not the intent or reason for the forum's existence. I indicated that..Here I was, under a fairly high level of stress (on multiple fronts, and multiple levels)..and I was not bringing it to the forum, I was not dumping that emotion HERE, as a form of release. For that pollutes the forum in negative ways. I could go off and by angry on my own, all I want, but I'll not do it here. Same for my personal relations. Ulli's seen my chart, she knows that it's packed with enough passion for any three people. And I have to release it, otherwise it will kill me. It is a constant flow in my case, and more like a fire hose, in this life. Due to the intensity of my chart and the things in it, I shudder when I look at how it could have gone if I had... for some reason, decided to go bad. Thus my earlier comment about my parents, who never raised a hand, never gave us nasty undercurrents in their communications, etc.

Regarding 'going bad', when I was 16, I get the feeling that the door for that had tried to open, in front of me. I said once, on the forum here, that a man sat down in my living room, when I was 16, and offered a life of fast cars, women, drugs, whatever. The whole lot. I was 16, I was halfway through tearing down the direction my life was trying to go in, which was high level, as in stock broker, billionaire, etc. A problem as the passion and the ride would have remained, but not the perspective --of being totally down. Incapacity to relate, would be firmly in place.

So, I tore down a future that could have easily gone that way. I seemed to have sensed danger there. I also combined my love of the ride..with teenage passion for such rides. That is when the man sit in the living room, and offered the way out. I ignored him ...and continued the rampage of personal destruction.

Also, I suspect the reason behind the 'memory' of the prior life of a slave, who was beaten every day, and never broke, and died unbroken. Show us you can handle this, kid, and your wish for that nightmare - may be granted.

I don't think that many could understand the (specific) level of the rollercoaster ride it presents (but we all have or times, our moments-our individual given limits will always be approached) when it goes on it's incredible ups and downs. I spent most of my childhood, energetically, and emotionally, going from coma to the ride of the peak and then a coma again, wondering, fearfully.... what the next time the ride would be like when the door opens and the interrogator with the unanswerable questions..comes in and delivers another incomprehensible beating. It's been an odd combination of both. The beatings will continue until the morale improves..and simultaneously....the morale will continue until the beatings improve.

Sometimes I take it out for rides and go on a merry year or two long ride of insanity, like jumping off the tip of a mountain peak that rumbles and builds itself into existence under my feet, and gliding until the energy ends..or I find myself buried in a deep valley in the rubble... and have to dig out. And always.... the ride begins again.

I described it once, as if I get the fun of riding/surfing 1000 foot waves, coming down the side at incredible speed, in a glorious rush of adrenaline and fear/joy, but having to watch for the coral rocks, and sometimes hitting them. And like magic, always popping into existence at the formation of another wave...and having to paddle like mad. Never able to get out of the ocean, always being forced to ride the wave, or roll in the aftermath, drowning, if I refuse the ride.

Surf, or die.

As always, the synchronicity. This was playing as I ended the post.

http://www.myspace.com/valectramusic...-back-80312235

[ulli]

My chart is nothing like Carmodys' but I do have a nasty Pluto Moon square as well as Venus Uranus opposition. Most of has have a few potential pits into which we can fall.
But my 'Carmody moment' came when I saw that three months ahead (it was around March 1996) there would be a stellum at a certain date, making a right angle to both my Venus as well as my Uranus.
With that many squares all at once I began to wonder if I would even survive such a ride at all...and the fears started coming in, every day increasing.
Only astrologers can experience that kind of fear.
While normal mums used to worry about their kids having accidents or falling in the pool, worrying all the time, that kind of worry didn't happen to me, unless there was a bad planet on the horizon.
Nowadays I don't like to look too far ahead in my chart... to avoid unnecessary fears.

[9eagle9]

Lol my mother couldn't forgive anything but especially smoking (it makes you a sl*t) and drinking (it makes you Irish). My mother hated her Irish origins so much that she made up stories in her head that we were actually Waspy sorts of royalty and relate this other family members who would say, Hello we're not English! Where did you come from? She was stuck in a puritanical energy; I swear she lived in a time that ended hundred of years ago.

She had such puritanical energy that Thanksgiving holiday here in the States still gives me the creeps. I KNOW that if I sorted through the invididuals who tried the Salem Witch Trials I'd find her there. Probably also where she got the notion were English caught in her pretenses.???That physical vanity in her promoted a sense of awful self conciousness about my appearance since she venerated the mirror so much. I never became a mirror person. When I got older and some people suggested I could become a model I thought they were one, pulling my leg and I couldn't imagine a more horrible life than everyone staring at me. I spent most of my life with my hair hanging in my face.

Not wanting to be seen manifests itself in so many tentacles I find it fascinating. It challenges even one's right existence. My mother would not be seen going to the mail box without her implants, make up and lifts prominently brought front and center. What a waste of time to make yourself up so carefully for a trip to the mailbox. She didn't want me to be seen either and in doing so just made me all that much more obvious to others. Or obviated herself. A relentless vicious circle the more she didn't want me to be seen, the more I was seen, the more she revealed herself for what she was, and it angered her into the sorts of rages that Im sure you've experienced.

Children that come from families of "Children should be seen and not heard' values often experience this. I have a cousin who would silently pull the house down , rebelling against this notion. Everyone seen him making a 'a seen' but no one ever heard him. ..Lol. Little brat that he was, I now appreciate this silent form of rebelliion. He'd pee all the wall smiling and silent . He was seen all right but....never heard.

Or children of parents where being seen promotes violence simply for being seen. That challenges one's right existence.

Curiously I now notice that people who have my mother's issues don't like me being 'seen' either. Or heard. And I set off the same sorts of reactions in them that she had. Furious that I was being seen. Then obviate more attention to me by screaming at the whole world, "Look at her showing herself" , then everyone looks and sees me , and makes them all that more furious. Actually quite funny after you get out of the trap of that perception and seeing express itself. She needed an audience at all times, but also lent the impression that having an audience was the worst thing in the world.

One does eventually learn to laugh at this stuff.

Posted by astrid (here)
I feel like i really missed out not doing drugs when i was younger,
but those i did try, had the opposite effect on me.
So i didn't bother getting into them.
That and the parental programming,
" We would forgive anything but that"
I did have alot of druggie friends and boyfriends though.
I must admit, since being on this path i have much more of a curiousity
and with no fear attached.

LOve that Pink Floyd track Carmody,

[Ernie Nemeth]

Here and now: About to go to work, a small job fixing a bar's outside signage.

My only claim to fame is I know a guy, Stan Endersby, who used to be in The Loving Spoonfuls, I think. He still writes his music, his computers are heavy duty machines with teraquads of memory. He recounts the good old days all the time so I have heard many stories of all the great ones. He had a bio on TV a few months ago. He's still in litigation, never received his fair share of the proceeds from his heady days or something like that. Met him during my ACIM days.

I am far from okay, too. But as Carmody says, too much negativity on this forum is not conducive to good vibes. So I don't post about it. I am allowing it, and saying yes to it but the situation has not yet changed. But it will, unless it doesn't. Either way, I will not allow myself to wallow in misery or begin my litany of how victimized I have been. I own my life, no one else.

Sorry to hear of your troubling ordeals, Charmody. I'm sure you will overcome. I will think of you today, send some positive energy.

That's quite a long fast, Astrid. If I tried that I would shrivel up, turn to dust, and blow away in the wind. I'm already thin. I maintain an ideal weight within two or three pounds since I was 15 or 16. No matter how much or how little I eat. But if I miss even one meal my stomach begins complaining. Miss two, and I'm out of sorts for days. Miss three and my ribs start to show...

Sierra, I liked your imagery. Must have been significant for PL, yes? My dad always said I would become a hermit if I did not change my ways. This was his sage advice to me the days we had our car accident and my wife walked out of the house in -30 degree weather without a coat, in shock. The police found her wandering around on the street an hour later. We flipped the car on the way to my parent's place in FT. McMurray, Alberta, Canada on Christmas eve (the oilsands, dad worked for Suncor, the original oil sands company). Presents were strewn all over the highway! And dad says I'll become a hermit if I do not treat my wife better and learn to get along with people. We were divorced the next year(1989).

Just got a call for another job, 53 pot lights and a kitchen relocation. Maybe I won't get two months behind on rent and bills after all. There's still almost two weeks before the end of the month!

Gotta go, hugs to all.

[ulli]

While working I was thinking about the Holographic Universe theory...
well, to me it's not just a theory, as astrology has provided me with ample proof.
As above so below...patterns repeat forever, in a never-ending ripple effect.

The only control that can be considered real (without a back lash) is when an individual turns inner hate emotions around and neutralizes them.
Not because they are told to do so, but as a result of an inner conviction that this is the way it all works.

I call it the ripple effect.
One is aligning oneself with the cosmic patterns,
which are really quite orderly, or one wouldn't be able to make predictions at all, like tomorrow morning there will be another sunrise.

So Ernie...why are the jobs coming now, all of a sudden? My guess is because you are getting a few thoughts straightened out in your head.
Balancing love for others with a healthy dose of self love.
Maybe in your case that's all it takes.

So many people are going around with low self esteem, a low opinion of themselves...how unfair that is.
Would one want to have such a low opinion of another human being? Probably not. So why of the self?

But I think we on this thread have one thing in common...we were outcasts in one form or another,
until we ourselves began to believe what others thought of us.

And even though Carmody had great parents who were decent human beings
he still managed to wake up long ago stuff of getting beaten, on a daily basis, which could make him doubt his self worth, possibly?
Some memories just need to be purged, just like Astrids cleansing. Once and forever.
I would like to be of help in that here, and that is why I myself, am doing so much reminiscing...
it is really a healing experience for me.


So if a negative memory is brought here for analysis on this thread, that is perfectly fine by me.
We can then perhaps get rid of it for good, and free the member from those haunting images.
I'm not insisting that only positive reports are brought to the table..
Here and now is what is.
What is, is
what ain't ain't.

[Playdo of Ataraxas]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Playdo of Ataraxas (here)
Here and now, another day at work. I'm looking forward to another weekend of cool sunshine, raking leaves with the kids and then playing in them, tending to the winter garden, and winterizing the chicken coop. Wieder an die Arbiet, Sepp!

Hmmm, where did that bit of German come from, I wonder?
My mother was a hard worker, but more so than most Germans as she had the added need
to impress her farmer father-in-law that city girls, too, can work hard...

the other bit is what got to me...
when she passed away 5 years ago she joined her beloved brother Heinz, whom she called him Sepp...
I had forgotten all about that until I saw this post...

Thanks for the anecdote, Ulli. That is a quote from Max Frisch's "Biedermann und die Brandstifter." The context in the play is that Biedermann was distracting the Brandstifters and they had to "Get back to work" dousing the building's roof with gasoline. I always say that to myself when I am procrastinating. "Wieder an die Arbeit, Sepp....." Sepp was one of the Brandstifters.

[astrid]

@ 9eagle9, thank you for your words . I think its
for sure part parental- especially my father often
said " get out of my sight " he was a rager and
we were all terrified of him. And the religious
upbringing full of shame and guilt. Yes some of
things they said to us was pretty horrific,
useless , worthless , you will never amount to
anything, Then there were the beatings, the
" washing stick "'was 2 inches thick. Then I
would go to school and it happened all over again .
Day in day out for years. I learnt very early on to
transcend the 3D realm, it was the only thing
that kept me alive . If I knew then what I knew
now I'm sure I would have taken a short trip
home.. But the Christian bit fixed that . I had
this rather large Jesus on the cross hanging over
my bed . I used to take it down at night because
i could never sleep . Mind you I foight the lot of
it every inch of the way.
From very young I knew the religion thing was total
BS ii was always refusing to go to church , it got
to point where they where pulling me out of the house
by my hair .I was strong and had a serious set of lungs on
me , one of my few powers was to embarrass them,
as they were always so hyper concerned about how
people saw them . "what will people think?"'
And nothing was ok unless they knew of someone
else doing it first . So being born very
willful with a very strong mind of my own i was
screwed.
So to say I picked the hardest life choice
is the understatement of the century .
If that wasnt initiatory I dont know what is.
When I reached puberty things got even worse
with them making fun of me trying to navigate
growing up .
Mum started listening to my phone
calls opening my mail and reading my journal.
Wheni had the rare offer to sleepover with girlfriends
she would be callling 5 or 6 times, biut when i started
dating of was only on the proviso that she came too.
And the lecturing about sex i can still here it now
"if you have sex everyone will know and you will
not be able to walk down the street and hold your
head up high " her exact words .
So yeah I'm doing ok to have prevailed, and
forgiving them and having them back in my
life has take a very long time.
These days it's on my terms and I use Pavlov here
- they behave treat me with respect they get to
see me , they cross the line i withdraw contact .
They have got the message .

But this is actually a not a story of "'woe is me"
but of courage and of understanding the big
picture . I chose this life because i wanted the
greatest learnings I could get. And add to that
the last life component and it makes more sense.

Mum was my daughter in another life , I guess
I would have been classed as a witch back fhen.'
My daughter i treated her as a servant, so
hence mums relentless want to try and control
me In this life . Dad i haven't worked out yet,
but I know we have some serious history
once again control and power issues but more.

Will stop there sorry its so long !

Please bear with the typos it's 5am here and I'm
on iPhone .

[araucaria]

Happy anniversary tomorrow dear Ulli!
what is is
what ain't ain't
whatever will be will be?

[Sierra]

Posted by astrid (here)
These days it's on my terms and I use Pavlov here
- they behave treat me with respect they get to
see me , they cross the line i withdraw contact .

This works.

I am surrounded by people who are talking about their slow train wrecks. Dry eyed, (for a change) I look at mine. It is so slow. I feel it every inch of the way. A promise is a promise.

I'll be your narrator Ulli. Neptune is my friend (I hear Gollum laughing) ...

Sitting on the quay, watching the waves survive their crash and dissolution ... time for latte now.

[astrid]

No accident that we have a lovely summer storm
here . As I lie in bed the rain on he roof is
cleansing and making everything fresh and new
again . Thunder now too. I have only just started
to consciously work with the elements in the last
year or so. It's such an awesome power .
I was standing out in a storm yesterday
really feeling my kundalini and the storm energy .
connecting up. Very cool indeed

[eaglespirit]

Posted by astrid (here)
No accident that we have a lovely summer storm
here . As I lie in bed the rain on he roof is
cleansing and making everything fresh and new
again . Thunder now too. I have only just started
to consciously work with the elements in the last
year or so. It's such an awesome power .
I was standing out in a storm yesterday
really feeling my kundalini and the storm energy .
connecting up. Very cool indeed

Awesome Astrid...this post of Yours prompted me to dig up an old post of mine from Noble Realms.
The Last Blast of Thunder that morning in 2007 actually vibrated right through me from behind on that hill at Chaco Canyon.
As many of You here may already know...I am an avid sungazer and this particular morning showed me just how powerfully connected we are(again) with the elements if we choose to step up that direct connection by choice and action. Astrid, I literally was brought to unstoppable joyful tears at that sunrise when the storm simply silenced and parted the canyon. We have such wonderful natural access to these Energies and can upgrade that relationship at any time...especially right now to help Mother Earth and Ourselves Balance ALL of the Energies for the Benefit of ALL Life through the Transition We are now a Living Part Of! Thank You again Astrid :

...10/08/2007

Hi Sun Friends,

How Are My Fellow Solar Meditators? : )
Wishing You All Well!

I just returned from a 7 day journey to Chaco Canyon and other sacred and
beautiful areas in New Mexico with a wonderful spiritual group I am a part of.



I connected with the spirits and the light in that beautiful canyon with a few of the most beautiful and wonderful sunrises (a couple of sunsets too).
The last sunrise before leaving brought me to joyous tears...
if you know what I mean!
HaHa! : )

That last sunrise was an emotional gift as there was an immense morning thunder storm right behind me coming in from the west...just before Grandfather Sun came up that storm made one last bright and loud flash directly behind me from the west and immediately silenced and dispersed "around" the canyon on both the north and south sides...what a memorable and connecting moment with the sun and the spirits and the cosmos.

I had wonderful follow-up gratitude/connection barefoot walks on that high spot at the canyon, too : )

Love and Light,
Dan