Here and Now...What's Happening?

[Ernie Nemeth]

Ulli, for me, it is this thread that has taught me so much about dealing with emotional upheaval.

Although I still believe that telling it like it is, in whatever way it comes out, is educational to others. And since I'm a bag of emotions, at times, it seemed right for me to vent.

But what I have learnt is that, I'm just too powerful for such displays, and I tend to upset others too much so that the educational part is over-shadowed. Not that I think I am powerful as compared to those here and now, on this thread. But at home, in my little world, my being upset and letting it out causes those around me to feel out of sorts - to put it mildly.

It is a responsibility issue, I feel, one that comes with maturity and the honest and sincere searching for truth. Not to mention open-mindedness and the ability to admit that maybe I don't have all the answers, as once I thought I did.

What do I do these days differently? Not much, really. I listen to my rant in private and try and stay out of the whirlwind it creates - stay centered as an observer. Then, when the rant looses steam, I correct my thinking with whatever particular truth of the moment might seem appropriate. A bit of deep breathing, a candle or two, some yoga or stretching, and then some music. BUt most of all just allowing - allow, allow, allow. Staying with it seems to disapate the turmoil. That was taught to me by Starsha. And it works great.

Lately, I reach for my staff. I love the feel of the wood, it soothes me (pictures on my profile page).

I also believe that my seeming ability to handle emotions a bit better has a great deal to do with help I am recieving from anonymous sources (some not so anonymous) both here at Avalon and from the etheric realms.

Thanks so much for starting this thread. And thanks to all who participate in making this the greatest place, IMO, on Avalon.

hugs

[ViralSpiral]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Me and Playdo, comin' atcha!

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Me and Playdo, comin' atcha!.........

In



Great pic!

And Meere-das. Beaaaautiful xx

@ Waky - tks for sharing. "Soul" recognition...

[meeradas]

ah, and, as promised, a snapshot of one of my [three] neighbors - they're falcons (not hawks, as i said initially)
[sparing you the sight of the mountainous 'manure' they produced on the balcony of the appt. next to mine]

[eaglespirit]

OK Here and Nowers...asking for suggestions, advice, personal experience please.

My oldest Daughter has Hashimoto's Disease (hypothyroidism) and it is coming on strong with Her lately...in this disease the immune system attacks/degenerates the thyroid.

We will be getting some MMS and I have taken note of Onawah's "aloe vera" gel drink in prior post, thank you.

Thank You beforehand to anyone that is familiar with this and has knowledge to offer : )

I am looking at natural remedies online also.

[Guest]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Me and Playdo, comin' atcha!

Another priceless picture.

And i do the same PL.



Love

Nora

[Guest]

Sorry about your daughter eaglespirit

I don't know anything about hypothyroidism.

Here is a link to the health benefits of raw organic coconut oil.



Visit the website of Coconut Research Center to get a list of the scientific literature on coconut oil
http://www.organicfacts.net/organic-...conut-oil.html


Love

Nora

[Eram]

Hi eaglespirit,

I feel a little hesitation to give advice, for here in PA are so many wonderful people with vast amount of knowledge in the health department, but there is one option that I would like to offer.
Homeopathy with the potentialized (don't know if this is written correctly) remedies can do wonders if the right remedy is chosen.
My father is one and I've seen some wonders happening while watching his practice.

Ofcourse there is much to gain in a healthy organic diet also. specialised for Hashimoto's Disease.

love and healing!

-------------

ps: I don't know why, but I feel very connected to all the people in this thread tonight... What people, what a place, what a sharing!

[ulli]

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
Ulli, for me, it is this thread that has taught me so much about dealing with emotional upheaval.

Although I still believe that telling it like it is, in whatever way it comes out, is educational to others. And since I'm a bag of emotions, at times, it seemed right for me to vent.

But what I have learnt is that, I'm just too powerful for such displays, and I tend to upset others too much so that the educational part is over-shadowed. Not that I think I am powerful as compared to those here and now, on this thread. But at home, in my little world, my being upset and letting it out causes those around me to feel out of sorts - to put it mildly.

It is a responsibility issue, I feel, one that comes with maturity and the honest and sincere searching for truth. Not to mention open-mindedness and the ability to admit that maybe I don't have all the answers, as once I thought I did.

What do I do these days differently? Not much, really. I listen to my rant in private and try and stay out of the whirlwind it creates - stay centered as an observer. Then, when the rant looses steam, I correct my thinking with whatever particular truth of the moment might seem appropriate. A bit of deep breathing, a candle or two, some yoga or stretching, and then some music. BUt most of all just allowing - allow, allow, allow. Staying with it seems to disapate the turmoil. That was taught to me by Starsha. And it works great.

Lately, I reach for my staff. I love the feel of the wood, it soothes me (pictures on my profile page).

I also believe that my seeming ability to handle emotions a bit better has a great deal to do with help I am recieving from anonymous sources (some not so anonymous) both here at Avalon and from the etheric realms.

Thanks so much for starting this thread. And thanks to all who participate in making this the greatest place, IMO, on Avalon.

hugs

Thanks Ernie. Glad to be of service. Just keep passing on the torch....
Compassion is the name of your game, and when rant time comes
just go into a quiet corner and smash an old plate.
Then later on you can do your rant, if it still wants to come out.
Does wonders for family life.

[ulli]

Ok, since so many of us are here right now let's form a circle around PLs fire altar and honor the great Here and Now, and all that creeps and crawls and wiggles within it.
May the shy ones become confident, may the poor become prosperous and may all the sick be healed.
Here & Now!



P.S. just now they are showing pictures of the big white round sun and the tiny speck of Venus passing in front of it.
Venus-sun conjunctions are good, but Venus-sun eclipses are even better.
All is well.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by another bob (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
Life is such a mystery.
Not everything has a solution but nearly everything has an answer when seen retrospectively.
May Mazie's suffering indeed provide healing for others, if that is her wish.

I've asked her to review her contract. :-)

God, that's Pure Love of a different kind, Bob. No question why you and Mazie are in partnership. Beautiful, both of you!

[benevolentcrow]

Posted by ulli (here)
Ok, since so many of us are here right now let's form a circle around PLs fire altar and honor the great Here and Now, and all that creeps and crawls and wiggles within it.
May the shy ones become confident, may the poor become prosperous and may all the sick be healed.
Here & Now!



P.S. just now they are showing pictures of the big white round sun and the tiny speck of Venus passing in front of it.
Venus-sun conjunctions are good, but Venus-sun eclipses are even better.
All is well.

Love your thoughts Ulli! Great stuff on the Hear and Now!

[benevolentcrow]

If only...

[ulli]

Posted by benevolentcrow (here)
If only...

...so good I had to pin it right away...keep 'em coming, BC

[Carmody]

Posted by another bob (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
hello Bob...about Mazie's knree....
Husband says there is a longterm treatment that supposedly can rebuild the cartalage in the knee, called Glucosamine. It takes between three months and a year. It can even be found over the counter.
Also pawpaw helps with that, he says, one needs to eat lots of it.

Thanks for your kind intent, Sister!

LIke I said, we've tried everything. She took GLucosamine, combined with Condroitin Sulfate and MSM for quite a long time, to no effect. We did have some minor success at inflamation reduction with Tumeric Extract combined with BioPerine, but it was fleeting. We're going to have a brace fashioned, so as to get through this period when she also needs another gastrointestinal surgery. However, knee replacement is inevitable. She's had both hips replaced many times -- that is, they were replaced, but developed infections (including Stevens-Johnsons Syndrome, which your husband will tell you is nearly always fatal). She cannot tolerate most antibiotics. She's spent months on end confined to bed without hips, recovering from those infections. The amazing part is, during those times of confinement, she underwent the most stunning spiritual transformations. From what she has shared with me regarding those times before we met, I'm utterly humbled.

?

Phycocyanin

http://www.kingdnarmsa.cn/en/Product.aspx?id=6


What is Phycocyanin

Phycocyanin is a special blue pigment, extracted from spirulina with invaluable health promoting properties.

Proven benefits of Phycocyanin:

i) Rejuvenates cells & bone marrow

Rejuvenate damaged cells

Improves blood flow and reduces “stickiness” and “stacking”

Rehabilitates bone marrow damaged by radiation, to produce healthy blood cells again

ii) Strengthens immune system

Enhances production of antibodies and interleukin-1 to fight infections

Inhibits cancer cells growth & spread in the body

iii) Super Antioxidant & Anti Free-Radical

Phycocyanin is a powerful anti-oxidant & anti-hydroxyl radical (The most dangerous & toxic free radicals produced during chemotherapy, when exposed to hand phone radiation, deep fried foods)

Protect cells against DNA damage

iv) Detoxifier and liver protector

It has powerful anti-inflammatory properties

It has strong chelating power – to leach out heavy metals (mercury and lead) and toxins

It protects and improves liver function

[ulli]

On another alleyway of Project Avalon Rocky_Shorz is putting everyone straight about a major misunderstanding...
a guy being "attacked" in the "channel wars"...
so I was reading the threads in question from the perspective of someone
who had found themselves on PA with a totally different agenda than was offered here,
he thought he had joined a hacker group...and everyone was speaking to him in code...like 9eagle9 saying we are all fairy unicorn incarnates...hahahaha....
and I must say this so far has been the most amusing read in the 20 months I have been on the forum.
This should be picked up by a stand-up comedian....
still not quite sure if I'm reading this correctly...


Mr. Bean, anyone??

[RunningDeer]

Posted by ulli (here)
Ok, I feel ok again.
I'm getting better at returning to equilibrium.
I would love to have every Villager share their own little secret of what they do to get back to balance when they feel upset...

How Do I Handle Emotions? There are levels of intensity.

I know I have this tool if ever I need it. It’s a rare gift I’ve earned:

I sit right in the crap emotions while having a think-talk about how I survived the loss of my son. I remind myself how courageous I was to step right into the center of rage, screams, and puke, and pray and beg for my own death. But damn it, every time the silent peace whispers an inner knowing - not today.

And if I am totally honest, I still have moments of not wanting to continue. There’s a voice that’s says, you’ve done all you need to do. You’ve touch souls, and have been touched by souls. So I end with the question of, “Why am I here?” before I drop into complete silence. And then my dog, Wolfie, reminds me that he has to pee. He continues, “By the way Mommy, didn’t you promise me a walk?”

For the little garbage emotions or when I’m cranky and impatient:

That’s when I call on my friends Ben & Jerry and pop in a DVD movie
Or fall asleep
Or walk in the state forest not far from where I live
Or sometimes just sit and have a think-talk
Or visit Zappos.com

Peace and Heart,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer


PS Clarification: I've never needed that first tool once all the death and dying and acceptance cycles were completed. But it serves to remind me of an inner strength that we all have. Too, I jump out of bed every morning excited for the new day. There are moments in time that I question, "What is this all about?" And that is a healthy thing for me. It keeps it real and honest.

[ulli]

That took me right out of my mirth to have a little cry on your behalf, WhiteCrowBlackdeer.
How you must have suffered!
I so wish I could make you two have lunch somewhere....
and he could tell you all that has happened to him since you last saw one another.
I really do....

[RunningDeer]

Posted by ulli (here)
That took me right out of my mirth to have a little cry on your behalf, WhiteCrowBlackdeer.
How you must have suffered!
I so wish I could make you two have lunch somewhere....
and he could tell you all that has happened to him since you last saw one another.
I really do....

Thank you, Ulli. I'd love to share what I wrote about that period. I've share on the forum and took it down. I worry that people might think it's about sympathy. It's to demonstrate that everyone can go to hell and come back even stronger.

The Day Feathers Appeared and Disappeared



Objective: To remind that we are all made of true grit, a higher power and a higher purpose

Huge Presence in the Back Seat of My Car

     A couple of weeks before Christmas, I was doing Tai Chi in my classroom before the students came into school when I got a flash that something big was about to happen. The feeling was that this was either one of great joy or great sadness. I instinctively knew that: it was huge, I had no control over it and I had to accept it. Then, a voice from somewhere in my head said, "We are never given more than we can handle."

   I covered up my fear with a cocky attitude of “Bring it on!”. And that was that. That is until after school, I was on my way to the bookstore when I felt an inescapable doom and panic. Then, I was aware of a huge presence in the back seat of my car. I checked the rear view mirror and saw nothing. But right then I had another flash of Michael, my son. It was too painful, so, I blocked it out. When I returned home, I told a dear friend where my personal papers were because I thought something was going to happen to me. I told him that I felt like it was my time to die.

     A couple of days later, I got a call to go over to my ex-husband's home. On the drive over, I found myself making all kinds of deals with God. I saw it in his Dad's eyes. He explained that Michael was found in his car deep in the woods by hunters. Suicide. My son was holding a picture of his Dad, himself, and me. A note read, "Sorry everybody. But, I've gotta go." We hadn't been a family since he was three. I sit here now, and recall it was one of Michael’s good friends and roommate that passed along about the note and photo. I don’t know for sure if it was really true or not. But, I find comfort in that account.

Michael's Visit

     The night before his burial, I wanted to be buried together. The thought of never seeing him again twisted and squeezed at my heart. In the past, any challenges that came up, I seemed to draw on the fact that if not for myself, then for Michael. Call it being a role model or problem solver, but always to demonstrate that there's always a solution to a problem. But this time...there was no answer to this.

     I'll fast forward from the bed pillow that muffled my sobs and screams to the blanket of calm filled me in an instant. And whole bedroom filled with a beautiful, beau-ti-ful blue that could never be replicated in this world. And then Michael showed me an infinity symbol with a gentle reminder that I had to stay.

     “This was the plan. Remember the plan,”  he said. And that, “Sometimes I'm the teacher, and you’re the student. And sometimes, you’re the teacher and I am the student.”

     My bedroom was filled with boxes of books and I couldn’t say why I was tearing through them. Until one book revealed itself. It was “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah," by Richard Bach. Every page I opened to, it was as though Michael was speaking to me. I’d ask a question, and the perfect answer came through a sentence on a page.

Feather Message

    Then, I was directed two floors down to my office. I pulled open my computer shelf and there smack in the middle was a feather. I had been collecting them for a couple of months not knowing why. On the cover of the “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah," there was a feather. And it was an important turning point in the story of a teacher that had died but floated a feather onto to his forlorn student.

     I placed it in my power bag. I was so afraid of loosing it that I also put it into a plastic baseball envelop that I cut down and taped the outside edge to preserve this precious gift. It brought me strength and assurance that Michael was close by. A couple of days later, I discovered that my feather gift was gone. Oddly, I knew it served it's purpose. And it was okay. Loss of stuff had taken on a whole new meaning.

A Long Winter

    By February, waves of panic were coming like labor pains - quicker and unpredictable. I wanted out. I was tired of showing Michael that you just don’t quit. I went outside and screamed at the top of my lungs hoping for my heart to give out or to pop a blood vessel - something - anything - just get me out of here. (I lived deep in the woods. Lots of privacy.) I collapsed on the ground from exhaustion and failure. I decided to go through the pain or become consumed by it. Uncensored. Whatever came up, I became “that”. Nothing to loose and maybe my body would give out. I don't know how long it was before I reached a place of such silence, what I know now to be the “State of Peace”. Another gift from Michael. And when I got up, at first, I thought they there were snowflakes, but they were tiny, white feathers everywhere, all around me. I started collecting them, and then they were gone. (And I wasn't crazy. They were there and then they weren't.)

White Blue Jay

     By April, I was like two people. Teacher at school and at home hiding under the covers. I stopped showing Michael that you don't give up. And I no longer looked to him for moments of peace. In those first few days after Michael’s death, I had a dialogue going on with myself. Things like the simple act of brushing my teeth, I instructed myself, “Put the toothpaste on the toothbrush. Put the toothbrush in your mouth. Brush. Brush. Spit...” Those “now moments“ took on a whole new meaning. Making it to the next now moment was both painful and a relief.

       I had only taken three or four days off when Michael died. But by the first day of April vacation, my heart was in constant pain; both on a physical and emotional level. I had stopped looking out the window when a car drove by to see if it was Michael. I asked God or the Universe or anyone that would listen for a sign that things were going to turn around. Well, I got two. A blue jay flew down by my office window that was only about a foot or two from ground level. At first, I wasn’t sure and as if reading my mind, she hopped a quarter of a turn, so I could get a better look.

     If you know anything about blue jays, they are extremely skittish. I wasn’t sure if she spotted me and I knew I had but a few seconds to check her out. This blue jay had reverse color markings: completely white, and she had purple feathers rather than the blue where typically the white markings would go. And just when I began to doubt her, another blue jay flew right down beside her and let out a big squawk as if to say, “Now, do you believe?”

     Then, a second sign a few hours later. I was on the main floor of the house when I was directed to look out the window. And there was a 100% white squirrel scurrying across a branch.

[RunningDeer]

I'm experiencing an awkward moment and holding my breath and reminding myself to breath. Was that too much to share? I may have used up my share chips. Awkward...

I'm remembering how the teachers at school wouldn't look at me as if I had some sort of disease that they'd catch. Then I realized they didn't know how or what to say. One time I was walking down an empty corridor just days after this whole thing and another teacher came around the corner walking in my direction. He kept looking at the empty walls and floor. He seems relieved when I said hello. Truth be told I would rather be me in that corridor than he. It was awkward.

Okay, I'm rambling... You probably can guess why. I'm signing off, but have to report, there's no need for Ben & Jerry's this evening. Night, night...

And I'm leaving you with this heart and a huge thanks.



Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

[ulli]

Posted by WhiteCrowBlackDeer (here)
I'm experiencing an awkward moment and holding my breath and reminding myself to breath. Was that too much to share? I may have used up my share chips. Awkward...

I'm remembering how the teachers at school wouldn't look at me as if I had some sort of disease that they'd catch. Then I realized they didn't know how or what to say. One time I was walking down an empty corridor just days after this whole thing and another teach came around the corner walking in my direction. He kept looking at the empty walls and floor. He seems relieved why I said hello. Truth be told I would rather be me in that corridor than he. It was awkward.

Okay, I'm rambling... You probably can guess why. I'm signing off, but have to report, there's no need for Ben & Jerry's this evening. Night, night...

And I'm leaving you with this heart and a huge thanks.



Peace,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer

I wish you'd share more.
I have only one son. He is now 33.
He has a heart condition and we are always worried about him.