Posted by WhiteCrowBlackDeer
(here)
Hello Bob,
Your verse by Hugh Walpole is enlightening.
Hearts,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer
On relationship: This is the one area that prevents me from living truthfully in the Now. I break through this then the rest is.. the rest.
“The most wonderful of all things in life,
I believe, is the discovery of another human being
with whom one’s relationship has a growing depth,
beauty, and joy as the years increase.
This inner progressiveness of love between two
human beings is a most marvellous thing;
it cannot be found by looking for it
or by passionately wishing for it.
It is a sort of divine accident,
and the most wonderful
of all things in life.”
by: Hugh Walpole
Random Thoughts:
- It is my hope and wish for the proses (above) to be the norm. It’s been my belief for longer than it has not. My fear is that the longer I trust and live this truth, this “ideal”...the blindfold only thickens.
- I’d rather live a life alone than just to be with another because I fear loneliness.
- Alone is empowering until it becomes it’s opposite. Then one is frozen into the life of fear to be with another.
There are secret moments when I come face to face with haunting questions:
- “Has the ideal prevented me from a totally fulfilling life with another?”
- “Is the ideal unreal, unworkable?”
- “Toss out the word ideal, replace with what?”
- “Is it that I am feeling unworthy?”
- “Am I worthy to be with one that speaks heart without the words?”
- “Will I not be strong enough to allow another into my heart?”
- “Am I choosing to be alone because the loss of another is a far greater pain?”
A work in progress,
WhiteCrowBlackDeer 
UPDATE: I keep closing the browser and running through my mind the above post. When I posted I didn't give it a lot of thought. If I had I would not have posted. I would have chickened out. But aside from feeling vulnerable, I am seeing that it's not about the other. It's me. My fear. That's where it needs undoing. For me, until it's out in the fresh air, I can't see where the undoing needs doing. 
UPDATE 2:
More Random Thoughts: what I know, what I’m figuring out, what I do, what I think, and some mind trips:
- Asking questions is a good brainstorming technique. That is until it turns to it’s opposite. Then its prevention of moving in a direction.
- Standing at a cross roads is getting old. Maybe I could set up a hot dog stand. One with a pink and green umbrella. Maybe hang a couple of bird feeders off it.
- No one is perfect nor is expected to be. That’s the point to experiencing life at this time.
- I’d not be here if perfection is reached. My guess is when I do, I’d find another question.
- What is perfection any way? Note to self: remove perfection from my dictionary.
- When I reach perfection, will I get some feather wings or my own space ship or submarine? Note to self: put in a request for pink and green. Personally, I like pop-in, pop-out.
- I'd love to live in a tree.
- I’ve never sat in the passengers seat of my car. It would be nice to enjoy the other side of the road.
- A GPS is a useful tool in a relationship.
Oh Wolfie is asking to go pee. He's also saying, "Mommy, didn't you promise to take me for a walk? How about I compromise this time and take you for a walk?"
............ Going, going, gone..........................................
Re: Here and Now...What's Happening?
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