I like the way this guy
Anadi explains it. This is the idea I was ineptly trying to get across. I think he is better with words than I:
"Due to their simplistic nature, traditional models of enlightenment do not offer sufficient conceptual protection against the menace of ego. Because enlightenment is commonly misunderstood as occurring through the annihilation of the ego, it is assumed that after awakening, no challenges on the level of our ego-identity remain. However, even though the supreme goal of evolution is transcendence of the mind and personality, the ego cannot be entirely dropped before our final liberation. Rather, the ego, as the intelligence of our relative consciousness, naturally accompanies us through each stage of our growth, witnessing the awakening of the inner states, consciousness, intelligence and the heart. In actuality, its purified presence supports our internal awakening.
"The nature of ego is twofold. The aspect of ego that surrenders to the soul’s intent is in fact the very energy that the soul uses for her evolution towards light. However, as long as the ego is lost in the past and holds on to its ignorance, it inevitably hinders our evolution by continuing to rule our consciousness as host. Most seekers, irrespective of their relative awakening, experience the ego, or false me, as their center of identity. They are egos, not yet souls. Prior to soul-realization, the ego claims awakening, believing that it owns the inner state and the knowledge of I am. As it matures in its evolution, it begins to recognize that it was originally created to serve our awakening, and that
its final destiny is to surrender itself to the soul. However, until the ego has been sufficiently cleansed with the light of higher intelligence, it will resist its own dissolution. Even after realizing its own unreality, it will continue to return through the back door to assert supremacy. This is the point where one usually proclaims: “I am enlightened!”, “I am a master!”, “I have reached…”, “I… I… I…”
"Until the mind surrenders, we remain vulnerable to the ego’s impure tendencies. In the initial stages of its inner quest, the ego’s immaturity leads it to treat spirituality as a playground for its basic emotions. It uses spiritual practice to wallow in feelings of self-pity, lack of self-worth, guilt and shame; or alternately, to inflate itself with pride, arrogance and competitiveness. The spiritual ego is in fact quite worldly. Entering the path has not changed its basic neurotic nature, only the sphere of its activities. Now, instead of wanting fame or fortune, it wants to reach god or attain enlightenment. In both cases we encounter the same bogus ego displaying its vanity.
"In its madness, the ego constantly seeks ways to sneak into spiritual territory. It tries to make itself special in one way or another by taking on ‘spiritual’ roles — holy man, rebel, eccentric, even redeemer. The idea of being holy may appeal to the ego because it craves respect, if not from others, at least from itself. Or perhaps it is more attracted to rebelliousness and prefers the role of an unholy character, enjoying the chance to show off how original it is. Maybe it wishes to become a healer or great master, for it finds the idea of helping others exciting. It might even believe that it has a unique role to play on earth and has been chosen for great things. But perhaps the most insidious way that the ego can assert itself is by assuming a stance of humility and devotion to magnify a false sense of piety. No matter what role the ego chooses to play, its performances are no more than pitiful attempts to maintain its fundamentally empty identity.
"The more conscious we become, the more cautious we must be, for the ego’s games become increasingly sophisticated as we evolve. Letting go of the ego is not only the final goal of the inner path, but an unremitting act of becoming real inside. As cunning as it is, the ego ultimately has no way to succeed in manipulating the spiritual path for its own purposes.
Sooner or later it must relinquish itself at the altar of our original self, for it has no essential reality — it does not exist apart from the illusory image it projects."
Re: Enlightenment: The Ego, what is it? How to transcend it.
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I do this, I do that, I pray, I surrender, I get rid of the "I@......
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