Enlightenment and Male Vanity

[ulli]

Posted by noprophet (here)
For context, I am 27 - male, and American.

Something I've done my entire life, and always wondered if women do this as well, is the acknowledgement nod.

Since I was a teenager I've continually noted that when men make eye contact in crowds, strangers, they often nod at one another. Almost like a territorial acknowledgement.

I'm sure many men here know what I'm talking about. My question to the ladies is, do women have any form of this?

I can only speak for myself. Most of the time I avoid eye contact with strangers,
except for the very old and the very young,
who I feel need to be acknowledged as human beings.

But then I'm not someone who looks at people in crowds anyway,
unless Im curious about the current styles of dress.
That stems from an old habit from my days as a fashion designer.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by noprophet (here)
My question to the ladies is, do women have any form of this?

I do. Smiles, smile+nod, a compliment. Sometimes, I'll toss out an unexpected joke. Like if a woman is about to go down the cleaning isle, I'll tell her that I stay out of there because I won't have an excuse not to clean. Or if I keep running into the same woman in the isles, I tell her I'm leaving now, so have a nice day. It'll end with each reaching out with a gentle touch and laughter.

It's an intimate connection for a brief spurt that lasts for hours.

[Carmody]

Posted by grannyfranny100 (here)
From left field, here is my idea. Learn to tango. At a certain point, the confident male lets the female completely let go with all her wildness and eroticism and is not frightened by it. Other men in the room may be shocked and frightened but also envious of the sensuality this couple has a achieved.

http://www.carrothers.com/astor_piazzolla_.htm

[Carmody]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by grannyfranny100 (here)
From left field, here is my idea. Learn to tango. At a certain point, the confident male lets the female completely let go with all her wildness and eroticism and is not frightened by it. Other men in the room may be shocked and frightened but also envious of the sensuality this couple has a achieved.

Love this. Here is my favorite Tango tune:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=-xAXksZOL1w

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=7FwXdEyrGts

[Carmen]

Where are the dancers Carmody!!?

[Carmody]

Posted by ulli (here)
Actually, the proposals for knighthood come from the ranks of the people,
who can start the campaigns, and then the Prime Minister brings the matter to the attention of the Queen.
Right now there is a campaign to get Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin the Sir title...

Anyway, back to topic...to have spiritually evolved males consult and brainstorm together without
putting each other down....

After 48 years here, this time around, I still don't know what male and female means, as a difference. I do not understand human life as these things. I do not look through that filter, whatever it is.

When I see it in people, I find it..disturbing. Disturbing in a blindness kind of way. The way I see my dog, acting as a dog. A corner her consciousness cannot see around.

Like an enforced mask, that I chose to not carry. One that makes demands upon me.

I'm not what you would call androgynous, not by a long shot, but I simply will not tolerate my body dictating terms to me. Nor will I accept it from others. I can pick it up, or I can put it down.

In my younger years, I could not do that so easily, and thus felt broken by it's intrusion. Non functional, even.

~~~~~~~~~~~

To help clarify why I have this position, you'd have to see my astrological chart, which I do not share.

That chart says I have a virtually perfect emotional balance of masculine and feminine. (0.02 degrees of error)

[ulli]

Posted by Carmody (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
Actually, the proposals for knighthood come from the ranks of the people,
who can start the campaigns, and then the Prime Minister brings the matter to the attention of the Queen.
Right now there is a campaign to get Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin the Sir title...

Anyway, back to topic...to have spiritually evolved males consult and brainstorm together without
putting each other down....

After 48 years here, this time around, I still don't know what male and female means, as a difference. I do not understand human life as these things. I do not look through that filter, whatever it is.

When I see it in people, I find it..disturbing. Disturbing in a blindness kind of way. The way I see my dog, acting as a dog. A corner her consciousness cannot see around.

Like an enforced mask, that I chose to not carry. One that makes demands upon me.

I'm not what you would call androgynous, not by a long shot, but I simply will not tolerate my body dictating terms to me. Nor will I accept it from others. I can pick it up, or I can put it down.

In my younger years, I could not do that so easily, and thus felt broken by it's intrusion. Non functional, even.

Thanks for the Tango, Carmody. Serious syncopation, dare I say....

Seeing people, rather than gender, eh?
The best explanation for that comes from astrology.
Remember that book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?
If you had a square angle between those two you would see it all differently.
But then you know that already.

Edit: Oops, I just saw your edit. Yes, astrology does explain gender attitudes like no other science does.

[Beren]

We are divided when here. But we are also united when here.
I always felt as male energy through out my whole existence. But the male that is.
Not the male that is not. Seem like a word play but it is what it is.

My aim is always to carry out the divine plan and my soul mate or twin flame or just the one whom I feel as one with -
is the female that is. Not the female that is not. Her being gives me support and shapes with me the world that we live in.

Alpha or other Greek letters are just letters. And jerks are just jerks be it male or female jerkess (hehe I just coined a word here )...
I am peace loving man. I am not married nor have children. I support understanding and love and contact with our souls where we will see that we are divine . I do not engage in fights. I defend women and I like flowers and animals. I like all colours but won't wear pink shirts. I will rather talk than fight and will help women in anything...
I like to talk with kids and they are glued to me usually. Same with animals.


That being said do not confuse me for a wimp or metrosexual.
I will rip your head off if there is a need for. I will stand my ground and kill you with my teeth if I have to and if it is the utmost need.
So don't get me wrong.

Don't also get me wrong but I would rather smell the Lilies and talk about trees and sing ... Than to teach some hot head am I male enough...





Male and female. Same soul with same aim-God in progress. And since God is all - every woman is my sister or mother or friend or lover or just a kid and part of me and every man is my brother and friend and father and buddy and a kid and part of me.

[Mark]

Posted by ulli (here)
It cannot be stressed enough how much the study of one's astrological chart can help with enlightenment, and explain the different behaviors in ourselves as well as others.

I think that it is heavily underrated, even among the Awake and Aware. Perhaps because of its mainstream popularity. Personal transformation as sold by many a self-help guru in recent decades concentrates upon the alleviation of specific personality traits and thought processes, which addresses the micro, but not the macro. And, astrology is not usually presented as something to be transcended. It's presented as if it is set in stone. I don't think many people actually realize that each sign builds upon the previous, that they express a story of human potential and evolution through the progression of the signs, beginning in Aries and culminating in Pisces. It's biological programming, imprinted in the cells electromagnetically, but like all programming, there is the potential for overwriting. Erasing the drive and, instead of replacing it with new programming, experiencing the wholeness of being a Clear.

Posted by ulli (here)
Anyway, interesting about those locker room tears. And I'm glad that you lack the killer instinct.

Another story: 3rd grade, just moved to Crete, Greece, Pops was posted to Iraklion Air Station, a Cold War 'Listening Post', returned to the Greeks in the 1990s. On the playground of the base school, minding my 7-year old business when one of those nice, stinging big red balls we used to play 4-square and kick-ball with slammed into my head. When I picked myself up, through the pain, tears and haze, I see a couple of 5th graders pointing at me and laughing. I saw red and went after the big one, head and shoulders taller than me. Next thing I know, I'm sitting on his chest, pounding his head in the pavement over and over again.

I assume that teachers pulled me off that boy, my memory doesn't include that part of the experience. It was the mid-70s. A different world. Went to the principals office, don't even think my parents were called. As we sat there, that kid was looking at me with fear and trepidation and that was a revelation for me. I've never seen red again since and that was the first and last time I've ever let myself go in a fight. With 4 signs in Scorpio, Sun, Ascendant, Mercury and Pluto, releasing that energy in physical violence is flirting with chaos.

We've all got our different stories and paths. The locker-room tears are common to all who've played team sports at any level. Jocks, as we were called in the 80s, were the top of the High School food chain, I dated the cheerleaders, wore the Letterman's jacket, did the whole thing. There is a mask, a persona, carefully built and maintained, that goes along with all that. But, being church-raised, well-read and spoken, academically successful, an artist, break-dancer and sax-player as well, I was just too weird to be invited to the Keg parties and kicked it mostly with the other military brats, across all the HS social groupings, because we all lived together on the base and shared common life experiences. But, because of my athletic skills, I apparently wasn't too weird to enjoy the camaraderie of sportsmanship on the courts and fields and the brotherhood that entails, as far as that goes.

Posted by Flash (here)
Thanks Rakhyt to have the guts to say it clearly.

Thank you, Flash, although when I was writing, I wasn't thinking about bravery or revealing something that everyone who has been here - and in other forums like this - for a while didn't already know. And it was not in condemnation or accusation, it just is what it is and is understandable, and, in large part, inevitable, given the nature of spaces such as this.

Posted by Flash (here)
It is as if because everything has to pass through analysis for conspiracy (head trip) (in a conspiracy forum ), anything not analysable through these standards is untrue or unworthy.

I think you are right. The thing about that space of Being is that it defies analysis. Analysis and intellectualism are actually barriers in the way of clearing the space necessary for enlightenment experiences as well as living Zen. The critical mindset and over-analysis reveals the mindset of the critic as not being ready yet to walk that pathless path. And that's ok. But it's a waste of time for those who have already been there to remain and engage in petty argumentation. There are better ways to share experience.

Posted by Flash (here)
For me, the deep mystical path of true Scientology or Buddhist mysticism or Christian mysticism for example are examples of difficult but worthwhile paths on the way to enlightenment.

I agree fully. The path is available in all religious traditions. One saying is that the Way is high and steep, with cliffs to each side, leading into the heights, where few dare to tread. But it remains accessible to those who truly seek it, no matter the culture. I've also heard it said that the truth must be presented, but all of the distortions and institutional trappings obscure it for all but the most dedicated.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
Raykyt, that was an amazing post, hedged as it was in your own manly prose.

My prose is manly? I'm glad you resonated. And thanks, Ernie, you gave me a good smile there.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
I have no killer instinct at all, often throwing the game to my friends because they want it so much more than I do anyway.

I realize that I wrote that whole first post and didn't really finish making my point. I will do so here. The reason why my HS Basketball Coach hated me so was because he had to depend on me to win games and he didn't like me as a person. Didn't like my care-free attitude. Probably thought I was too soft. He once tried to punish me for missing a practice during a snowstorm during Christmas break by benching me the next game. First half, all was good, we were winning. Second half, not so good and by the end of the game, he was fuming as I sat at the end of the bench, arms and legs crossed, smiling as we lost to a team we had beaten multiple times before. Scorpio, man. Back then, large part scorpion, rather than eagle or dove. That was a quiet trip home.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
The violence in men is unfathomable to me as well. Threatening does not work well on me. It only makes me loose my control and see red.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
Leave me alone, let me ignore you and go my way or we have a big problem, no matter your size. So no, I do not fit in in the usual male accepted mode of interaction.

Yes, it sounds like you forgo all of the posturing and strutting and go straight for the gusto. I'm sure that deflates the bravado of anyone seeking to assert primacy over you for social purposes. I tend to agree with your stance in that all of that is unnecessary.

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
I much more relate to women who I find are often far more rational and often even more intelligent (although that last is probably biased). My best intellectual conversations were always with females. In my experience, men are harder to convince and do not change their opinions in the face of new facts near as well as women do.

I think I read someone else's words above stating that there is some sort of survival benefit to be gained by being so inflexible. While this thread is focused on the way these traits tend to pit supposedly conscious men against each other based upon societally and natally determined traits, I think it is important to recognize that we are all what and where we are supposed to be. And yet, that space of being can be shifted by any of us in any moment. We are truly that powerful if we make the choice to be.

[Mark (Star Mariner)]

Posted by Carmody (here)

To help clarify why I have this position, you'd have to see my astrological chart, which I do not share.

That chart says I have a virtually perfect emotional balance of masculine and feminine. (0.02 degrees of error)

Interesting. I've never studied astrology in any depth, but perhaps now would like to find out more about my own chart. Do you have any links where this sort of information (such as you posted above) could be discovered?

thanks

[ulli]

Posted by Star Mariner (here)

Posted by Carmody (here)

To help clarify why I have this position, you'd have to see my astrological chart, which I do not share.

That chart says I have a virtually perfect emotional balance of masculine and feminine. (0.02 degrees of error)

Interesting. I've never studied astrology in any depth, but perhaps now would like to find out more about my own chart. Do you have any links where this sort of information (such as you posted above) could be discovered?

thanks

When I began to study astrology there were popular books like Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. Few books taught how to create and interpret a birth chart back then. I found two, one was called the "Compleat Astrologer" by Derek and Julia Parker, and the other I cannot remember now. My point is that it helped me to have two different approaches, so if one presented a hurdle that was too high for me, the other book was clearer on that chapter, and vice versa.

Now with so many websites which offer the basic knowledge for free it is hard to know where to begin.
I suggest that you google an astrological term, like "Saturn square Venus" which will lead you to a small description of what that angle means in someone's life.

Read as many of these descriptions on as many websites as come up, and then choose the one with the style that is most agreeable to you. Then if you get stuck, add a second website, to give more clarity.

I used to recommend www.astro.com but have since found out that many people don't know where to begin when they see the home page, as over the years the site has grown huge and now is so complex it has become overwhelming to a beginner.
It depends on each person's level to absorb new knowledge...some like a simple down to earth approach, while others have no problem with a lot of details.

[ulli]

@Rahkyt

I really liked everything about your post there, Rahkyt, and don't mean to be picky, but when it comes to astrology
I have to insist on being really clear.

So here is the sentence I want to make two corrections to:

"With 4 signs in Scorpio, Sun, Ascendant, Mercury and Pluto, releasing that energy in physical violence is flirting with chaos."

A) you meant to say with 4 planets in Scorpio, not signs. No big deal, but the distinctions between signs (areas) and planets (bodies) is one that needs to be upheld.
and B) you say you had Pluto in Scorpio. That means you were born during the eighties, or early nineties.
I don't know how old you are, but you mentioned being around during the seventies as a kid, so my guess is that you had Pluto in Virgo, or perhaps early Libra.
Please, don't let your Scorpio planets drag you into paranoia now, that I am like that coach and not like you.
I do like you, but I LOVE astrology, and will defend it at all cost.

[Carmody]

Posted by Star Mariner (here)

Posted by Carmody (here)

To help clarify why I have this position, you'd have to see my astrological chart, which I do not share.

That chart says I have a virtually perfect emotional balance of masculine and feminine. (0.02 degrees of error)

Interesting. I've never studied astrology in any depth, but perhaps now would like to find out more about my own chart. Do you have any links where this sort of information (such as you posted above) could be discovered?

thanks

If you want to understand what reality is, then understand this post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


astrology is frowned upon and ridiculed by the PTB types for a very powerful reason. well, a few reasons.

One, they use it themselves.

The reasons they use it is that:

-solids, elements as we know the periodic table, are the odd man out. 99% of the universe is in plasma or ionic charge form.

-voltage of this ionic charge is the transverse function in electrical terms and can be leading, or FTL, to any speed required.

-single atoms act in a quantum fashion, not in a elemental or grouped mass aggregate form of interactive. space is filled with this 'dust', this 99% of the universe, It rules things, and is dimensionally interactive, out of time and what not.., the earth and planets is the most minor character in this mix and experiences linear time.

-space is a cloud of charged single particles or nano particles, all interacting in the form of a highly charged plasma.

-space, these single or nano particles are aligned according to this charge space, which dictates their interactive with one another, or their dimensional cuing and dimensional interactives, or their temporal interactives.

- the solar system is built upon this form of a charged cloud of quantum or dimensional interactives.... temporal and dimensional interactive bubbles in a 3d and temporal matrix.

-the planets serve as focal points, vibrational and energy focal points for this flowing energy to vibrate and pattern itself, which is also the origins of the ley lines and energy patterns we see on the earth/globe.

-geometric alignments are the key point here, we see it in chemistry and we see it in all aspects of dimensional and matter interactives.

-since space is all at overpowering levels of highly charged particle quantum fields, all vibrating..and are the major partner here, by 99% or more... and in charged field dominance, they rule the roost.

-they vibrate, they align, they dimensionally produce a backdrop, you dance through linear time on and in...a world of rose colored glasses. You are in and on the ocean of 3d linear reality..and it moves. To a pattern.

-We individually interact with this dimensionally connected system, according to the mundane 3d situation and our multidimensional connections.

-We dance to the planetary vibration pattern. it is in effect... from out of time, it is timeless, but from this location, this space, this particular vortex resultant calmspace (like a calm spot in a flowing river, one where fish might sit and talk, breed, lay eggs, etc)...we experience 3d linear unidirectional time, so it moves in the one direction.

-which is why astrology works and we can tell time, or tell probability and pressures upon us and in us, via astrology.

-those who wish to control you don't want you to know any of this.

Not the best explanation, but it hits the high points. I can do better, and have...but I'm just quickly spitting it out here.

[donk]

All I know is that I know a lot more male “b!tches” (with all of the mysogynist anti-feminine attachments that word implies) than I do female, I feel like the gender thing is truly convoluted these days…and most relationship problems’ roots lie more in the toxic societal norm of the importance of BEING RIGHT way more than the sex-role attachments that come with it, which I have found to be more of a distracting side effect, no different from racism or homophobia—an irrational fear planted in civilization to keep us divided.

Also, I think that anyone that truly “gets it” in any sense of whatever that term means should be able to clearly express themselves and most importantly SHARE “it” without insecurities, transcending gender or any other perceived difference/inferiority of the audience….the name Bill Ryan comes to mind.

That’s why this place, in particular these types of threads, are exceptional—cuz occasionally we can get over ourselves enough (or a truly enlightened person can pipe up without the expectation that the audience can’t handle it) to rise above that enormous road block in the evolution of our species, preventing us to truly relate to one another, rather than simply accepting “being civil” as the best case scenario.

[Strat]

I wrote all this up in word and I haven't proof read it, ye be warned:

-----

Well Ulli, you may be right. I say may be, because frankly, what do I know? I'm freakishly close to the man you just described except that I'm much friendlier online. You will never find me shut down an idea online in an defamatory manner. I'll debate using my logic, but I won't throw names or any passive aggressive bs around.

So I'm just going to explain why I've got a lot of work to do (in the spiritual sense):

I'm kind of an asshole. I make a lot of jokes and I can make anyone laugh, but my humor comes from pain. Ya know the old, "better to laugh than cry" kinda thing. I don't think anyone would say they were raised in the perfect setting so I can't really complain considering I had both parents, food in my belly and clothes on my back.

My only real issues growing up were that I was shy and I had an older bro who pushed me around (physically held down and beaten with toys, thrown into tables, etc, though psychological manipulation caused the lasting damage). I can't think these events caused any traumatic long term damage, though they provided gas in the tank (there's other events I don't have memory of, like being punched in the head, off of a couch, as a ****ing baby). What screwed me in the long term (I think, still sorting stuff out) was the way I internalized my problems.

I was a Christian boy. If I had a problem I was to pray it away. The thing is I was never taught how to handle my emotions. So they just brewed up inside of me. I didn't have anyone to talk to (too shy/afraid of people). I can so relate to what Justintime said cause my bro had a bunch of friends, he's always been charming, etc.

So up to here, you can see how my programming has begun. Didn't know what FOXNews is and I'm already being programmed a few months outta the womb. Only the strong survive.

Later on I joined martial arts, then soccer in 8th grade, then (American) football in 9th and then wrestling in 10th.

You see? It's constant competition.

And the thing is, nobody is on the same level when they grow up. This makes it doubly hard for delusional assholes like myself. I meditate 3 times a week (trying to bump it up to every day). I originally did this because I was depressed/feeling hopeless (hopelessness was immediately cured, still wringing out all the sadness though). Meditation is such an effective tool for this and it works for my anger too.

The thing is for a permanent fix, meditation needs to be used daily for a long time. I'm a 27 year old guy who does knuckle push-ups to offensive rap music; far cry from Gandhi. The meditation keeps me calm, cool and collected but my anger is on a whole different level. I rarely snap but it's unfailingly always the same scenario; somebody is being overly rude.

I try being the nice guy. I'll take the blame (when it's not my fault) and I like to keep the peace. I always flip out when someone continues to be rude after I apologize. But it's not like I turn the tables verbally, I just literally lose all control. This is like a serious issue that I need to handle. I've flipped out like this twice in the past few years and thankfully the other parties involved walked away. This is a problem I have with alpha males (napoleon complex's, etc). That term needs to be defined more clearly and I don't think it's up to the person in question to decide who is alpha. Let's face it bros, there can be only one (alpha) and you folks aren't going to tell me what to do. Pistols at dawn?

And this is where we start coming full circle. Most (I'm assuming most) men want this to be this:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=XfN_DEBrUVI

So all that being said, take my angry delusional brain and then expose it to brainwashing from all directions. This is where you get folks like me, but who are frankly less aware of what's going on in life. And these are the internet tough guys you keep running into.

Now that I'm older, I've read this and that, I physically don't have time to address everybody personal testimony. Then eventually, someone is going to come along with something downright annoying. When I read these things it drives me up the wall. I'm gonna say it now and I truly don't mean to offend anyone's personal beliefs: super soldiers. This phenomenon is beginning to bother me, it's borderline disrespectful at times (this is not a judgment call on any journalists but the 'soldiers' in question). I truly believe I could fool a large percentage of the alternative community by faking being a super soldier.

When those thoughts swim around, it's hard not to post something passive aggressive.

I think my strength here is I don't bs myself. If I'm a bad person I need to know so I can fix me. I'm working on my bad traits, it's just going to take some time.

[Mark]

Posted by ulli (here)
I do like you, but I LOVE astrology, and will defend it at all cost.

You don't have to defend astrology from me, Ulli. But I understand. That should have been Ascendent, Sun, Mercury and Neptune. Pluto isn't even a planet anymore. Duh. Thanks for your clarifications.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by Carmody (here)
geometric alignments are the key point here, we see it in chemistry and we see it in all aspects of dimensional and matter interactives

The chemistry part makes good sense to me. The geometric structures of the ionic clouds known as electrons and chemical bonds are indeed key to understanding atomic properties, chemical bonds and molecular shapes and properties, right up through the complex protein folding shapes determined by the sequences encoded in our DNA.

At a smaller scale, studying such dynamic aether theories as Paul LaViolette's subquantum kinetics and seeing how this aether forms nuclear "particles" such as protons, electrons and neutrons, once again, one sees how certain geometric shapes of dynamic vortices in a polarized aetheric medium form the subatomic particles of what we call mass.

At a grander scale, from modest laboratory experiments to the farthest reaches of the visible cosmos, studying plasmas and the electric universe, we see how certain geometric shapes of plasma vortices in a polarized medium form the "universe" as we know it.

I'm beginning to notice a pattern .

[ulli]

Posted by Rahkyt (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
I do like you, but I LOVE astrology, and will defend it at all cost.

You don't have to defend astrology from me, Ulli. But I understand. That should have been Ascendent, Sun, Mercury and Neptune. Pluto isn't even a planet anymore. Duh. Thanks for your clarifications.

Of course, Neptune was in Scorpio then.
Makes for a very sensitive and psychic generation.

To me, being an astrologer, Pluto will always be a planet.
The influence is so powerful, despite Pluto's small size,
that whenever I want to prove to someone of the parallel events of someone's life and a planetary transit I choose Pluto transits to make my point, as these are unmistakable in their powerful transformative effect.

Astronomically, neither the sun nor moon are planets, but their station as astrological 'planetary' bodies got stuck with the traditions.

[ulli]

Posted by Strat (here)
I wrote all this up in word and I haven't proof read it, ye be warned:

-----

Well Ulli, you may be right. I say may be, because frankly, what do I know? I'm freakishly close to the man you just described except that I'm much friendlier online. You will never find me shut down an idea online in an defamatory manner. I'll debate using my logic, but I won't throw names or any passive aggressive bs around.

So I'm just going to explain why I've got a lot of work to do (in the spiritual sense):

I'm kind of an asshole. I make a lot of jokes and I can make anyone laugh, but my humor comes from pain. Ya know the old, "better to laugh than cry" kinda thing. I don't think anyone would say they were raised in the perfect setting so I can't really complain considering I had both parents, food in my belly and clothes on my back.

My only real issues growing up were that I was shy and I had an older bro who pushed me around (physically held down and beaten with toys, thrown into tables, etc, though psychological manipulation caused the lasting damage). I can't think these events caused any traumatic long term damage, though they provided gas in the tank (there's other events I don't have memory of, like being punched in the head, off of a couch, as a ****ing baby). What screwed me in the long term (I think, still sorting stuff out) was the way I internalized my problems.

I was a Christian boy. If I had a problem I was to pray it away. The thing is I was never taught how to handle my emotions. So they just brewed up inside of me. I didn't have anyone to talk to (too shy/afraid of people). I can so relate to what Justintime said cause my bro had a bunch of friends, he's always been charming, etc.

So up to here, you can see how my programming has begun. Didn't know what FOXNews is and I'm already being programmed a few months outta the womb. Only the strong survive.

Later on I joined martial arts, then soccer in 8th grade, then (American) football in 9th and then wrestling in 10th.

You see? It's constant competition.

And the thing is, nobody is on the same level when they grow up. This makes it doubly hard for delusional assholes like myself. I meditate 3 times a week (trying to bump it up to every day). I originally did this because I was depressed/feeling hopeless (hopelessness was immediately cured, still wringing out all the sadness though). Meditation is such an effective tool for this and it works for my anger too.

The thing is for a permanent fix, meditation needs to be used daily for a long time. I'm a 27 year old guy who does knuckle push-ups to offensive rap music; far cry from Gandhi. The meditation keeps me calm, cool and collected but my anger is on a whole different level. I rarely snap but it's unfailingly always the same scenario; somebody is being overly rude.

I try being the nice guy. I'll take the blame (when it's not my fault) and I like to keep the peace. I always flip out when someone continues to be rude after I apologize. But it's not like I turn the tables verbally, I just literally lose all control. This is like a serious issue that I need to handle. I've flipped out like this twice in the past few years and thankfully the other parties involved walked away. This is a problem I have with alpha males (napoleon complex's, etc). That term needs to be defined more clearly and I don't think it's up to the person in question to decide who is alpha. Let's face it bros, there can be only one (alpha) and you folks aren't going to tell me what to do. Pistols at dawn?

And this is where we start coming full circle. Most (I'm assuming most) men want this to be this:

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=XfN_DEBrUVI

So all that being said, take my angry delusional brain and then expose it to brainwashing from all directions. This is where you get folks like me, but who are frankly less aware of what's going on in life. And these are the internet tough guys you keep running into.

Now that I'm older, I've read this and that, I physically don't have time to address everybody personal testimony. Then eventually, someone is going to come along with something downright annoying. When I read these things it drives me up the wall. I'm gonna say it now and I truly don't mean to offend anyone's personal beliefs: super soldiers. This phenomenon is beginning to bother me, it's borderline disrespectful at times (this is not a judgment call on any journalists but the 'soldiers' in question). I truly believe I could fool a large percentage of the alternative community by faking being a super soldier.

When those thoughts swim around, it's hard not to post something passive aggressive.

I think my strength here is I don't bs myself. If I'm a bad person I need to know so I can fix me. I'm working on my bad traits, it's just going to take some time.

Strat, this post ( but also many others in this thread) just blew me away. I'm so glad people are sharing the bottom line of their humanness.
Everyone here has somehow triggered memories of my own, so we have a lot in common, and it seems to be mostly in the areas of our suffering.

Especially when it comes to humor in tragic or disastrous situations...
those who get uptight that someone might crack a joke at those times
haven't suffered enough yet to really understand what is going on.

The thing to learn about anger is that in the long run it really hurts the one who feels
and then blasts it out ...more than the person at whom it is directed.

All anger is nothing but energy in need of redirection...is a quote I once read.

Astrologically Mars is the planet associated with heat, fire, anger, impatience. So one can measure when those thoughts and behavior patterns are at their strongest. One can then decide whether to vent, or not. Not to vent can mean two things...
Repression, which can lead to illnesses, or transmutation, using the restraint to refine one's character. These are personal choices and Im not making any judgement...as all of us do one or the other whenever we are in tight spots.
Only the self can decide how to manage one's life, in the larger context, and in view of consequences of one's actions.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by ulli (here)
To me, being an astrologer, Pluto will always be a planet.
The influence is so powerful, despite Pluto's small size,
that whenever I want to prove to someone of the parallel events of someone's life and a planetary transit I choose Pluto transits to make my point, as these are unmistakable in their powerful transformative effect.

Perhaps it's not that small, far away, rock called Pluto that you're noticing.

Perhaps rather Pluto is caught up in some particularly interesting aspect of the electrical-plasma geometry of the solar system, making it not the cause of the patterns you notice, but rather a useful marker of those patterns.