Posted by Dennis Leahy
(here)
Woke at 2:00 am with yet another backache that drove me out of bed. I think it has been 3 full weeks since I clumsily fell. Now, I wish I had been drunk - I would not have been injured. I believe the injury is a result of very quickly whipping my body around, trying desperately to catch myself and keep from falling. A drunk would have just fallen. So, this makes 3 weeks of only getting a short sleep before being awakened by back pain. Very odd that laying down does not work - sitting up does (but it has to be fully upright, not slouched on a pile of pillows.) Sleeping sitting fully upright is hard on the neck - and not very restful.
One of the things I've tried is capsaicin cream (made from hot peppers.) Have any of you ever tried that stuff? 'twas a new experience for me. I had my wife rub in a big blob (maybe half a tablespoon) into my lower back - I gave her a piece of plastic wrap to use, to keep it off her fingers. It absorbed quickly into my skin, so I had her rub another blob in about the same size. A few minutes later, the heat started building. The next 24 hours was a comedy routine. (Cutting to the chase, I'd say that was about 8 times too much capsaican cream.) Far beyond my worst sunburn (Irish tan) or the hottest shower, my back was on fire - almost to the point where you could roast marshmallows over it. Several HOURS later, I decided to actually read the directions on the cream, to get an idea how many more hours the fire would last until it went out so I could fall asleep. Unfortunately, the directions said, "
a slight burning sensation may occur upon application but generally disappears in several days." SEVERAL
DAYS! You have got to be kidding me!
Desperate for relief from the muscle spasms that I thought were causing the back pain, I decided to leave it on, mind-over-matter, and crawled into bed with a T-shirt, and somehow (exhaustion, probably) did fall asleep. The next morning (I think I slept until 5:00 am, an accomplishment), the fire had dropped in intensity. Now, maybe a 5 out of 10, where it had been a 7 the night before.
Over the next hours, there were intermittent times that the burning sensation became so mild that I pretty much forgot about it - it had worn off, or was wearing off. Whew!
A few hours later (now closing in on at least 18 hours after application) I had to drive a car. The contact between the car seat back and my back must have reactivated it, and it went from the previous marshmallow-roasting hot to the kind of heat used to melt steel in a metal foundry. I am amazed there was not smoke rising. The pain of a chemical burn was now officially worse than the pain of the back injury. This sh!t had to come off! Having read the package (finally!), I knew not to put hot water on it, so I tried warm water in the shower - and that pulled a reflexive howl of pain from me. Cold shower, lots of soap (shampoo) on a washcloth, scrubbing it off... and the fire was greatly quenched. A couple of hours later and I only had the back pain to deal with, not the deep back pain plus a chemical burn on the surface. A day later, I felt the capsaicin start to activate AGAIN - not to the extent of pain but enough to underscore the word DAYS on the package label.
Thank god I wasn't treating torsion of the testicles with capsaicin.
(By the way, I wrote this using hyperbole for a humorous description. Even though the heat captured all of my attention at times, I have no delusions that this pain compares with what millions of people endure daily. Just a humorous anecdote in the here and now.)
Dennis