The "not so perfect" twin-flame / twin-soul relationship

[chocolate]

Excerpt from The Mind Unleashed:

and just so that it is clear --->

Twin flames are two souls (people) who were created in the beginning from one single soul unit with male and female aspects together. This singular soul unit was a unified energy sphere of male and female, and split into two souls creating the twin souls. A soul is made of energy much like electricity and is in essence a blue flame. This is why they are called twin-flames. Each of these two souls after the split was a new and complete soul. Just as a cells divide and become new complete cells, or a hologram is cut into pieces and each has the entire picture within it identical to the original picture. Each soul has all the things necessary to be a complete functioning soul. The souls were polarized, one embodying mostly the male energy and one mostly the female energy of the original sphere. Each also retains a part of the other within them. The yin and yang symbol is one of the best illustrating this with each side holding a small dot of the other.

We all feel a sense of looking for true love because we long for the connection of this original mate.
[...]
The twin flame union is the only one in which this is literal instead of just figurative by contract of marriage. Twin flames are eternally married in their very being which no one can change.

When we consider that everything in creation is made up of vibrating energy, twin flames can be explained as two individuals who vibrate at exactly the same tone and frequency in their being. There is only one who matches our exact tonal harmonic pattern. When in the presence of this tonal mate we can feel the increase of vibrational love energy as the souls very being matches ours. The feeling is so very comforting and natural yet remarkably strong.

The twin flame is recognized instantly on a soul level. Even if a person has never been very spiritual they will suddenly feel they know the twin deeply. The physical appearance of the twin may be familiar, but the recognition exists more strongly on the inside and ignites a fire inside the twins hearts. Sometimes the conscious front of the mind cannot figure out what this recognition is right away. It can cause a person to want to back away from the situation or deny it until it's figured out. It can be intense and defy all that the mind usually looks for in a mate. Rather than looking for certain nice traits, like style of clothing or common interests with you, the twin flame will feel familiar in the deep part of the soul. Many things may seem like total contrast to yourself and type of people you spend time with. Despite this you find yourself thinking, "I know this person."

We may feel a recognition with any number of soul mates or soul family members we have had lifetimes with, but the twin-flame encounter is always the most intense and life changing recognition. It is clear there's something different from those who you've felt you knew in the past. There's only one beautiful perfect compliment to each person's soul.

What is the Twin-Flame Runner/Chaser stage?

The Runner and the Chaser are the roles that twin-flames take after the previous part of this phase of the relationship.

The Arguments and Fights cause a lot of confusion between twin-flames, as they usually don’t consciously know what is happening. These arguments, in reality, have a deep meaning, and benefit both partners…

But now, the conscious mind doesn't understand all this, and so, The running and the chasing begins.

One of the Twin-flames, usually the man, becomes ‘The Runner’.
The Runner tries to escape all the confusion by running away from the twin-flame relationship. He does that, because he feels that he ” just can’t take it “. If you ask the runner, he won’t have any specific reason for running. He just doesn't know whats happening, feels like he’s losing control of himself, and just feels kind of irritated for no reason. He hasn't been through anything similar ever before, and doesn't know what to do. So, as a sort of a natural defense mechanism, the mind tells him to run. And so he does. He tries to avoid the twin-flame, and might suddenly end the relationship in a very abrupt manner.

The other twin-flame, usually the woman, now takes the role of ‘The Chaser’. She gets deeply hurt and shocked by the unexpected behavior of the Runner, and tries to ‘get him back’. The Chaser is driven by the inner knowing that everything will be all right at some point. She tries to get the runner to resolve the issues and does all that she possibly can. The Chaser also gets very confused and might act in a way that seems almost ‘crazy’. She fears losing him ( because she already has in many previous lives ), is deeply hurt already, and she’s also feeling the twin-flame love which is as deep as love can get, really. This creates an emotional chaos which gets very overwhelming for the Chaser. She also has no idea what is happening and all she wants is to get the runner back. So she starts chasing him.

This chasing only makes the runner run more. The Chaser then comes to an extremely painful point where she shatters completely, and has no idea where to go. That’s when the truth begins to unfold.

The Chaser starts looking for information about what has happened, because she knows it’s not something that can be considered ‘normal’.

Then comes the waiting period for the Chaser. That’s when the Runner is still running and the Chaser has realized the reality of this Sacred relationship. The Chaser has to wait for the runner to come back. That, considering the emotional state of the Chaser at this point and the depth of love that she feels, is very hard to do. The Chaser might try to make the runner realize whats happening now, or might just wait for him to realize it on his own (that’s if they are completely out of touch or if the runner is not willing to talk or listen).

The runner keeps running and tries to move on in life (which can, sadly, go on for up to years), but ultimately realizes that the twin-flame is his life. The runner's realization happens when he receives a ‘soul-shock’ when the Chaser finally gives up and, in a way, walks out of his life. OR it can happen naturally over time.

Than comes the ‘Happily ever After’ .

If you are still interested , you can read more here:

http://theeternalbliss.wordpress.com...-relationship/

I took the liberty to iron out some spelling, omitted a few 'spiritual enlightenments' and capital 'L's.

[kenaz]

This answers some questions, thanks!

[GloriousPoetry]

Wow Chocolate,

This info is right on the dot with my experience.....I became the chaser and finally gave up.....it's been 4 years since I did this and at times I think I'm over this man but I think I just don't let myself go through it anymore......it's too painful......

[chocolate]

A video :

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=eqrGkQOpmAs

[chocolate]

Please, feel free to add your views on this (important) experience, if inclined to do so.

The thread wasn't intended to be a (deep) spiritual exploration, but a rather fun way of looking at life events.

For myself, I know it is a (subjective) reality.

[Metaphor]

I wouldn´t say that the runner must be a man. I have been the chaser, and it hurts.

[chocolate]

In the article they have adopted the more popular example.
But yes, I have also been the one who would run away, while the man was the 'chaser'.
In that very twisted and turned relationship, at one point I realized I had it all backwards. That moment was the turning point for me. It was a relationship between soul-mates, but it wasn't the right one to have at that particular moment.

[Arpheus]

I will be 42 in may,been divorced for 7 years,haven't had anything to do with women ever since,now dont get me wrong i got nothing against women but i got some real deep scars that i doubt will ever fully heal themselves,so there is thi shadow that lingers and haunts me whenever i think of getting into a relationship ever again and i simply dont like that feeling or thought it simply bothers me to no end,there are times i simply hate and despise being alone but then i say it to myself you are better off this way,heck i don know the world is a wreck there is enough drama and pain being single in this world we live in let alone being in a relationship,sometimes i get crap from friends or even co-workers about my choice lol,yeah i know i am a good looking lad and all but well i figured if i havent found the one at this point in my life it aint happening anymore so i dont stress about it,just live one day at a time,maybe i will cross paths with my other half in my next life,that is if there's even such a thing as your other half heh!I feel perfectly fine being single.

[lastlegs]

Arpheus, felt like you once and was single for just over ten years. Had completely given up the idea. I then met my husband in a book club. We had 18 years of a mind meld before he died of cancer. I now have a lot more experience and wisdom. I would like to have a relationship now based on a total heart meld which is even more difficult. I have been there for 12 years now. One thing you are right about--better no relationship than a bad relationship. But you have to be open to friendship for that is where it all begins.

[enfoldedblue]

My experience is very different. Many years ago I met someone who I was convinced was my soulmate (I didn’t know the term twinflame) back then. Initially there was a beautiful connection then, like a turtle, he pulled into his shell and I was denied access. The magic and synchronicity was astounding. For almost 10 years after I questioned what had occurred..believing he was frightened by the intensity of what was between us.

Finally after much soul searching I eventually realised that in playing the aloof role he allowed me to project the partner I knew in my heart existed onto him. But it was not him. This was very confusing.

Then 7 years ago I met the man I now consider to be my true twin. It has been beautiful and magical since our very first encounter. Our feelings are completely mutual . The feeling of someone 'getting' you at all levels is the most amazing feeling. Because we understand eachother so well, our relationship is easy and supportive. We just adore each other and want the best for the other as much as we do for ourselves.

One thing though is that wehen we found eachother neither of us was looking...i had resigned myself to a good enough relationship (though in reality it wasn't good enough at all), until suddenly there was something so powerful before me that i had no choice but to walk my truth.

There seems to be many 'experts' with ideas, boxes and frameworks regarding what Twin Flames relationships are like.I sense that with TF there is no norm, no rules and no exceptions. In the same way that we are each unique and diverse...so too are TF relationships. So many factors come into play...personal temperament, emotional development, history, experience etc

I can only share my experience and say that it is possible to have a profound magical connection with someone that feels nourishing on all levels. We bring our shadows to light, but not so much through mirroring, more through love and trust. The love and trust is so deep that we seem to be able to explore anything ....there is no fear, or misunderstanding, so we can go incredibly far.

[chocolate]

The Idea of Soul Mates
From Ram Dass:

Question: The problem seems to be that when you are in a relationship, in the beginning everything is happening, but when you marry that person it changes. I’ve been in several relationships, major relationships, I’ve been married and divorced twice and I’m searching for something special. Something I’m told is called a “soul mate”. Do you believe in such a relationship or person and what would that mean? How would I know that?

Keep looking! I’ll give you the farthest out answer first of all and then we’ll come back to something that everybody can handle. In the farthest out answer, we have all been around so many times that every one of us has been everything with everybody else. So when I look at you, you and I have been in so many relationships together. It’s just that we don’t remember them. Do you know how many times we have been born and died? Remember Buddha’s story: If you take a mountain six miles long and six miles wide and six miles high, that’s the distance a bullock walks in a day. And a bird flies over the mountain once every hundred years with a silk scarf in its beak and brushes the tip of the mountain. In the length of time it takes the scarf to wear away the mountain, that’s how long you have been doing this. Just think about that. Once every hundred years the scarf goes over; a scarf and a mountain. It goes on and on and on. In India there are Yugas and Kalpas of hundreds of thousands of years and then they start the cycles all over again. And we've been through all of them again and again.

Now, behind all of this is the One. And that is all there is. All of us here are one in drag, appearing to be many. So we are all “soul mate”. There is only one of it. It’s not mates, because it’s not even two. It’s only one. There’s only one of us. So what you’re really doing is constantly marrying yourself at the deepest level of God marrying God. Now you come down into soul. And each soul has a unique karmic predicament (you could call it a psychic DNA code) that in a way guides which way its life will go. And it is entirely possible that souls when they take birth into parents that are part of their Karma will at some point meet a being and they have agreed in advance to come down and do this together and meet. And that’s what we usually call soul mates.
What you have found from your past marriages is that what you are attracted to in a person isn’t what you ultimately live with. After the honeymoon is over — it’s after the desire systems that were dormant in the relationship that have the attraction in it pass and all of it passes — then you are left with the work to do. And it’s the same work. When you trade in one partner for another, you still have the same work. You’re going to have to do it sooner or later when the pizzazz is over. And it just keeps going over. And you can’t milk the romanticism of relationship too long as you become more conscious. It’s more interesting than that. It really is. And people want to romanticize their lives all the time. It’s part of the culture. But the awakening process starts to show you the emptiness of that forum. And you start to go for something deeper. You start to go to meet another human being in truth. And truth is scary. Truth has bad breath at times; truth is boring; truth burns the food; truth is all the stuff. Truth has anger; truth has all of it. And you stay in it and you keep working with it and your keep opening to it and you keep deepening it. Every time you trade in a partner, you realize that there’s no good or bad about it. I’m not talking good or bad about this.

But you begin to see how you keep coming to the same place in relationships, and then you tend to stop because it gets too heavy – because your identity gets threatened too much. For the relationship to move to the next level of truth requires an opening and a vulnerability that you’re not quite ready to make. And so you entrench, you retrench, you pull back and then you start to judge and push away and then you move to the next one. And then you have the rush of the openness and then the same thing starts to happen. And so you keep saying “Where am I going to find the one when this doesn't happen?” And it will only happen when it doesn't happen in you. When you start to take and watch the stuff and get quiet enough inside yourself, so you can take that process as it’s happening and start to work with it. And keep coming back to living truth in yourself or the other person even though it’s scary and hard.