Posted by chocolate
(here)
these past few days I came to the realization I actually have a problem staying grounded more than having an OB experience ...
I am quite susceptible to external influence, coming from a non-physical 'dimensions', and sometimes that could be a problem for me.
Few days ago I experience that type of an influence, which in itself I am sure was only beneficial to me, but it was also very dramatic for me. I thought I was about to collapse on the floor, so I had to lay in my bed for a while, than do a standing mediation, and drink and eat some food.
Later on I think I recognized what was happening, but it felt so strong at the time, that initially had me in a bit of a panic.
It has happened before in a milder version, which helped me deal with it better.
Thinking back I have the sense I am mostly floating around instead of staying well centered in my body. Probably that is a reason I so much enjoy physical activity, it grounds me better than anything else, or my sleeping magnetic cover, which also gets my inner self well inside opposed to floating above me.
This is probably related to the fact that I stay in concept world more than in physical around here (connected to my work, my inner explorations, or the way I just am). Or because I feel better at home out there than 'in here'.
In my past this has lead to some very difficult experiences, one of which was (almost, if not a complete) NDE. The way I feel right now, I sense I am not very interested in the 'living' as much as in continuing upward (or for the most honest out there, I more welcome physical death than physical living, not in a suicidal way, but as a means of ending something that doesn't feel quite right here and now). This is something completely opposed to the 'roller coaster' way of life, mentioned on occasion. but to see me in that light one needs to understand me better, and words are not the best tool for it. I think I can continue in that fashion, longer than on the up-and down kind of way, which proved to be unnatural for me in the past. I have a great joy being around stable, balanced individuals and situations, and have real trouble dealing with instability in every form or shape.
I am also not entirely sure I experience the internal loop-dialogue you have mentioned (the repeated reminder of activities related to physical survival). That is one of the reasons I could have been hit a few times in my life walking around and crossing streets. These days I have somehow switched an inner protection while navigating my movements. It keeps me safe on most occasions.
It hasn't been like that all the time, but now, because I am in a period when I don't need to fit into a physical reality of constant work and travel, I feel relaxed to be my normal self, and that in itself had a profound effect on healing wounds and fixing externally-created inner problems.
I certainly enjoyed the 'descension' part you have mentioned on several occasions. It is how I feel about the process, too.
.... May be I learned a few more things while being around, but one thing I sensed is that almost everyone seems to be in a need of being distracted, repeatedly and constantly, which doesn't correspond to the way I feel, so I just don't see myself fitting into that reality much longer. I tried to fit in, but it created a few problems here, as it has been with me in the physical times and again, and I realized, I need to fit no more.
I will see how this comes along.