I have wanted to write an article to help wake people up

[jerry]

I have written this article and am looking for feedback Im no writer and have little experience with the writing programs such as word ,ect . I wanted to involve myself in work to help awaken people to the fraud and lies perpetrated by our government and MSM. I thought I would share this here on Avalon looking for any input or ideals to help make this work, to bring attention and awareness to those still that don't want to here it, such as friends and family , as I feel its something far too serious to be ignored, as it is . So if anyone may have more time on their hands than I do please read the article on last post in thread and maybe share any thoughts ......thanks

[AutumnW]

Jerry,

Thank you so much for the time it must have taken to write this article. I am going to try to read it all and give you feed back on it in the next few days. I love the opening sentence. Talk about ironic!!

[Snookie]

Posted by AutumnW (here)
Jerry,

Thank you so much for the time it must have taken to write this article. I am going to try to read it all and give you feed back on it in the next few days. I love the opening sentence. Talk about ironic!!

Yeah, especially considering the source!

[Azt]

I think that is a great idea to write an article (specially for those who are native english speakers) , I am wondering if we could draft a template here on projectavalon that would be a waking up manifesto, when I say a template would be a collective thing that would allow EVERYONE to use it in different languages or even in english by massive posting out on the web as "anonymous" or by our real names.

What do you guys say about that?

Regarding Jerry's one, I like it but I would made it shorter (2 page max, 1 ideal) my 5 cents feedback.

[Sunny-side-up]

Grate idea jerry !

I haven't read your pdf yet but will do very soon.

To help people wake up the first few sections will need to be very tenderly revealed I think, not to much Out-There content at first, let people feel informed and comfortable to continue reading. I know after mentioning information to sleepers that even information that is totally verified can still be ignored and shunned! Doh!
They need to be coaxed and prized out of their safe-zone (Their MSN zone)

[jerry]

I like it great suggestion ... as far as length goes make it some thing to be done in small clips ,spoon feed as they say

[jerry]

I haven't figured out yet how to add the links for the hypertext to connect the reader to video clips or documentation to show that what I am saying has merit and not some bogus fear mongering tactic done by those looking for attention or profit ,I am using generic word program so that may be my issue.

[sirdipswitch]

The problem with an undertaking of this nature, is the very scope of the problem, for which your pdf, seems to have listed a good majority of them, without explanation of any of them, when the fact remains that several books could, and in fact, already have been written for each.

"Gimme a beer Ethil, the games on"!! That my friend is the problem. That is all the masses are concerned with. Sure hope it snows tonight, I wanna go snowmobilin tomoro.

UFOs'??? Are you nuts??? Ain't no such thing. End of story. They just turn of and don't listen. If it ain't on their list of beliefs, there is nothing you can say that will even register in their tiny little minds. nothin. Sory but all this "Stuff" you know... is just that... "Stuff" you know. I been talkin to people for most of my life, (more than half a Century) but if it ain't on their nightly news, it ain't "real".

But cheer up, there is hope. Hopefully, others, will stumble across this forum, and start reading. This is the big reason for it and why we are here, and why we just keep sayin the very same things over and over. Hopefully someone somewhere, that is paying attention, with pick up on something we say, to convince their friends and family of, and WE, will have accomplished another small win. yep.


SO... welcome to the club...

[greybeard]

Wake people up from what Jerry?
Best of luck with that.
People are only going to listen to what they already believe, they want confirmation, evidence that they are right.
Assuming you are on the same wave length as them, they want more of the same and similar stories.
If they disagree with what you say then they will ignore the thread or try to disprove in spite of any logical, valid, evidence you take the time to present.

Many threads have been posted on Avalon over the years which suit virtually every truth seeker.
Many suggestions have been made.
Have a look, it will surprise you what can be found here.
That is not to say there is not a need for a new slant on things.
Anything that gets meaningful discussion going is healthy.
Best wishes
Chris

[yelik]

Excellent piece of work, much of what you have said equally applies to other countries. Hopefully! the members of Avalon will pull together, it is of no use for members to preach to the converted, we need to take the next step and alert and educate the masses in any way we can. Only when people in their millions express their concerns will our leaders listen or change. I think to some extent people are now beginning to lose faith in our leaders and vote the minor parties, although they will undoubtedly fall under the spell of the elites. However the elites may well accelerate their plans if they feel threatened.

[jerry]

The elites are accelerating their plans and its increasing at an alarming rate ,thus why so many people are finally seeking answers to what the hell is going on . reason for my endeavor
.

[jerry]

I don't know really what I think I can accomplish with something like this, but I think if I take the time and effort and have something to show that I did ,the research ect , I may be able to get a few close friends even family members to actually take a look at whats going on , how they are manipulated , lied to . I also know many don't want to be bothered or listen to anything that may put them in fear of something or someone. But this is exactly the way the powers that be control us ,with Fear , so we demand protection , from all of the newly established guardians TSA ect, its not so much as seeking the truth as it is to expose the LIE

[greybeard]

Posted by jerry (here)
The elites are accelerating their plans and its increasing at an alarming rate ,thus why so many people are finally seeking answers to what the hell is going on . reason for my endeavor
.

There is an excellent documentary called "Thrive" it has been posted here quite a few times but gives practical solutions.
It exposes much that goes on---basically follow the money and you find out who is behind everything.
The solutions presented are practical but require full understanding by watching the documentary.
It also suggests how unity of action can be brought about.
The documentary, while it may not be to every ones taste, can be found using Avalon search engine or on u tube.

Chris

[jerry]

Yes I posted the video TRIVE on here just a few days ago

[Shezbeth]

Some things to consider in your strategic planning:

Avalon currently boasts 1300+ active members, with another 6200+ inactive members. Now, assuming you are successful in reaching a consensus and uniform participation just here, that equates to (sorry if I skip a place here or there):
7500 / 7,000,000,000 = 1.071e-6

That only represents the number of members of Avalon vs. the approximate population of the world. I'm not saying one needs to achieve world consensus, nor that Avalon is the exclusive opposition to the controller's machinations. Still, unless the article is broadcast by Hypno-toad one might consider upping their game as far as reaching out.

[Milneman]

Jerry,

I'm an academic in training, so I'm having the unfortunate problem of writing a great deal of articles for a great many people these days.

I'm going to recommend a web page or two for you if you're serious about your writing. I can see from this, and from some of the other posts you've shared so far, that you have some very passionate ideas and are feeling very strongly about sharing them (I think because you feel they are important to share, and I couldn't agree with you more!).

The problem, as I've stated in the education thread, is that you need to learn to convey the ideas in the format that's generally used by most academics. There's a reason for this. Firstly, it makes it far more easier to read. If you're constantly focusing on mistakes or errors you loose the train of though that you, as the writer, are trying to convey to me, as the reader. Spend a few weeks practicing using the formats. They're a little tough to figure out at first, especially if you've never written using them. But I promise you that a) your ideas will come across far stronger and clearer, and b) people will take you more seriously.

https://www.tcd.ie/Library/assets/pd...e%20Guides.pdf

This is a particularly good page on referencing from Trinity College, Dublin.

http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advic...general-advice

A really good page on the basics of essay writing from the University of Toronto.

http://www.grammarly.com/handbook/

Quite possibly the best reference for punctuation and grammar issues. Give it a look over. One of the most common mistakes I see you making is errors in punctuation. It's extremely distracting. After a few paragraphs I had to stop reading because I couldn't stop focusing on the mistakes, which was a bit of a tragedy considering you seemed to be going somewhere interesting!

The other thing you could do is elaborate on your ideas a bit better. Back your information with credible sources. If you can't, a good idea is to simply state that this so and so is a hypothesis made by so and so that is yet to be proven or disproven. There's no harm in sharing ideas.

Jerry, if you can nail the rules of essay writing it's going to make the difference between you being taken seriously and you being taken to be a redneck conspiracy nut. For real.

When you use a quote to further your idea, or start a sentence, you can either site the quote in a footnote, or you can mention the author of the quote in a sentence preceding the quote or after it. Emphasizing ideas with underlines or bold type is something you should only do, and I mean only do, if you're an experienced writer who knows when this kind of emphasis is required. Otherwise, trust your beliefs. You shouldn't have to bold face a word if you believe what it's trying to convey to your reader. Likewise for underlining. This should only be done with sub-headings, headings, or titles of books, articles, etc in a bibliography.

Your passion is definitely coming through in your writing, but because you're writing in the style you are, your ideas are going to be lost to anyone who reads this.

Pleased to edit the document for you! You really have the makings here of something substantially longer than 5 pages, and maybe the subjects you're covering are too much for this length of essay. So I'm going to tell you to do one of two things: pick one subject, or prepare yourself to write more. There's nothing wrong with writing more!

I'd strongly recommend investing in a university or community college course in writing. You will benefit from it in so many ways! I guarantee!

[jerry]

I've never wrote an article as this before no background in writing never took a class this is my 1st stab at it. I couldn't agree more that I suck with the sentence structure and punctuation . I'm not to let that get in my way, as its the message I'm trying to convey, not how bad I am at punctuation or sentence structure.But forgoing that I'm just trying to get my point across the best I know how, for now. Over time I'm sure I will improve as you see I've ask for suggestions and help here, and do appreciate your input but your only pointing out the obvious. The Underlining in the article is to remind me where to place my hyperlinks to connect to vids.. I can only assure you it would be much worse if it were not for editing programs, I just haven't a good one for now. I'm currently working on my typing skills that are dismal at best, thinking that's the best place to start

[AutumnW]

It is very important psychologically for those motivated to do so, to be encouraged to spread the word. Some may feel it is a futile endeavour and they might be right. But taking this kind of action, in and of itself, is invigorating to the one who proceeds with it. I figure most or all that I have ever written in the spirit of protest, won't make a dent, but it's been so important for me to communicate it. It makes me feel alive.

[jerry]

Please accept my apologizes in advance. Its not about saving the world its about personal progress and expressing ideals without the intention of offending any on this site, as those seem to allude that through their comments I have

[AutumnW]

Milneman, "loose the train of though." Dude, you are commenting on spelling? You just made one of the most common errors and you left the t off of the end of thought! Everyone and his dog gets the spelling for 'lose' wrong preferring, "loose". It's enuff too make me screem.