How do you feel about honestly sharing feelings?

[Natalia]

a whole mix of feelings...ups and downs...?...no pretension...I know there is so much to it, like being considerate, and sharing with the right person, and not sharing everything, and so on...but in general...

I don't have bipolar disorder (I have at times wondered, though) or personality disorder, just very sensitive and feeling.

There is true love out there for sensitive/honest/weird women like me, isn't there?

I don't openly share most of my deep personal feelings with most men, am not totally open book, but, when I get close to a guy, or in my writing online, it comes out more...sometimes much more...

An older friend said to me once "don't share your feelings with men, they don't understand it"...and while she might be right in general with most men in some ways...and they can get scared, I don't see how that would be true for all men...it would be so nice to feel safe enough to just be me and and flow in his presence, high and low, and even openly share when he wants me to, and it be ok and more than ok, it be lovely...I know it exists out there...

This does not mean that I want to be selfish and only think of my needs and not his, but we complement each other and give and take...just about meeting the right one...well I hope I meet him soon cause it's been a while...

I had an unhealthy relationship with my father that had a huge effect on me...this does not mean that I will with other men so don't come on and tell me that or suggest that - I have been working on myself/healing, for years...I deserve love *tears*

I find it can be damaging that this society and new age concepts can say/suggest (a lot of it is suggestive) that some emotions are wrong and that you are not worthy of love yet if you have them...really, this shame thing is so unloving and dishonest...we are all in human form and we all feel and we all need and we all get wounded and we all fall, and we can all rise and all love and all heal...it's a mixed up human life...

[CaptnNemo]

Posted by Amethyst (here)
a whole mix of feelings...ups and downs...?...no pretension...I know there is so much to it, like being considerate, and sharing with the right person, and not sharing everything, and so on...but in general...

I don't have bipolar disorder (I have at times wondered, though) or personality disorder, just very sensitive and feeling.

There is true love out there for sensitive/honest/weird women like me, isn't there?

I don't openly share most of my deep personal feelings with most men, am not totally open book, but, when I get close to a guy, or in my writing online, it comes out more...sometimes much more...

An older friend said to me once "don't share your feelings with men, they don't understand it"...and while she might be right in general with most men in some ways...and they can get scared, I don't see how that would be true for all men...it would be so nice to feel safe enough to just be me and and flow in his presence, high and low, and even openly share when he wants me to, and it be ok and more than ok, it be lovely...I know it exists out there...

This does not mean that I want to be selfish and only think of my needs and not his, but we complement each other and give and take...just about meeting the right one...well I hope I meet him soon cause it's been a while...

I had an unhealthy relationship with my father that had a huge effect on me...this does not mean that I will with other men so don't come on and tell me that or suggest that - I have been working on myself/healing, for years...I deserve love *tears*

I find it can be damaging that this society and new age concepts can say/suggest (a lot of it is suggestive) that some emotions are wrong and that you are not worthy of love yet if you have them...really, this shame thing is so unloving and dishonest...we are all in human form and we all feel and we all need and we all get wounded and we all fall, and we can all rise and all love and all heal...it's a mixed up human life...

Hi Amethyst,

I really get what your saying but on my male perspective side...I mean, in general I am quite open to others about my feelings in life or anything that comes from within that place inside...I think that the older I got since I would say the early thirties ( Am 39 now ) ..because of life experiences & past relationships, my heart opened up & whatever happens around me will in a way "affect" me...

Affect me in the sense that I feel that I am like a sponge taking in all kinds of emotions...It really can take a toll on myself sometimes but I manage to work with them instead of reacting to them.

Usually, naturally, people have a tendency to open themselves to me...It's always been like that, especially women. I guess I'm a good listener, and get the usual "Well, most men just don't listen, they ear but don't listen really" ...lol!..

As for intimate relationships, I guess I haven't found the right one too...There always has been some fundamentals beliefs or values that didn't quite fit in with my way of thinking...I must be considered like a crazy person..hahaha!!..Well anyone visiting this site for years are always "considered" a bit like nutcracks by most of the population generally speaking...besides my friends & family at least..lol.. :D

So yeah..I do understand what your going through & frankly time goes by fast the older you get lol...

I still have hope that one day I'll meet my "soul-mate" ..if not in this life, let it be in the next one

Like they say... "Better be alone than being badly accompanied"...

Take care & good luck!!

Sam

[Sean Cullen]

Hi Amethyst,

Thank you for sharing those personal thoughts and ideas...

Yes, I too believe, as you do, that there is true love out there. The difficult part can be in recognising it for what it is when it (eventually) may come near us... However, as you are clearly taking an active role in the process. this will speed up results somewhat!

I say this out of respect and love; our ego and experiences to date can make us vunerable and can cloud in our eyes the true intentions of others... I pray that you will have protection around you in your searching, that you will have the discernment of ages, and most of all that you will re-connect with your true soulmate when you are ready.

Patience! It IS out there, Trust...

Kindest regards,

Seán

[sirdipswitch]

Sure wish I lived in London! chuckle chuckle. Sure wish I was 40 years younger, I would be makin a trip... ccc.

Mr. Right, is just sittin there waitin for you. yep. uh-huh.

Perhaps a change... would flush him out of hiding?? A Museum... of fine art. Just sit and view something that inerests "You"... and pay real close attention to those that stop to chat!!! yep. uh-huh. Fine art, seems to bring out the very best... in the very best. hmm.

AND... did I mention be HAPPY??? Yep. Just "Being" happy, brings out the best, in those around you, and will attract the "right" types to you. A brite bubbly personality is like a people magnet.

And if some guy can't handle your "Feelings", there's no point in tryin to make a life with him. hmm.

Oh!!! And did I mention "CHEER UP" ???!!!!!!!!!! cccc.

¤=[Post Update]=¤

oh and remember also.. "strangers" are just "friends" that we haven't met yet!!!! yep. uh-huh. ccc.

[ghostrider]

A mature person will get you , someone not grown up mentally won't ... most are not comfortable with themselves , they project their insecurity on others ... it takes a little digging to find the buried treasure ...

[Natalia]

Thank you all, I felt your care and understanding, and warm support, and connectedness, I really appreciate it <3 but don't have much words at the moment to reply a lot.

I know he is "out there" just a matter of time, and I will be open.

[Orph]

You aren't alone by any means. ......... I'm sending you loving energy.

[Carmody]

Literally being inside another person's mind, that kind of connection, that is where we come from and when there, we can chose that connection, if we wish. But our minds are more complete and we don't need or desire it so much. The isolation, while here, does seem to bring that out more in us. The loss of the thing we had abundant capacity for.

Astrally traveling with others, that can be fun and is of a similar nature. The joining of minds, the direct experiencing of other, that can still be done here, while incarnated, but it is not done often. There are no secrets in such a place. But there is also no lack of clarity in who and what self or other is.

For me, a relationship would not be about sharing feelings, it would be a connection, of -being feelings. Literally.

[Sidney]

Great thread Amethyst, I have a feeling you might be an empath. We feel everything, more than most, because we are not only feeling our emotions, but we are absorbing everyone elses emotions as well. Some say its a gift, others a curse. But it just is what it is. It took me a long while to find out that being empathic is one of the reasons I am very emotional, and wear it on my sleeve. But after researching it for a while, I started to learn who I can share certain things with, and who not too. It takes some practice, but it is a good self discipline teaching oneself not to purge out all our thoughts on the wrong people.
Major benefit to being empathic though is that built in lie detector.

ps, when you are not searching for him, he will drop into your life, with ease, and you will know .

[leolance]

Hi, I'm new to this forum. I think this might be my first post (besides the welcome one).

I am just starting to come to terms with the idea that I am an empath, and I agree with Sidney, you might be one too.

I have to say that there are guys out there that LOVE feelings and emotion (I know because I am one of them). Don't listen to your friend about not sharing with guys, that is totally untrue.

In my own experience there are feelings and emotions that women sometimes have that I don't understand. I feel them but I haven't had an intimate relationship, enough where it was okay to ask about these feelings. I am in the same boat, but on the other end of the spectrum, where it is frustratingly difficult to find someone who is vulnerable or in tune with themselves enough to share their deep down feelings.

To me it is a great gift and honour to have someone share who they really are with you. I find the things that people hide and are ashamed of, end up being the most beautiful things about them. When you said "it would be so nice to feel safe enough to just be me and and flow in his presence, high and low, and even openly share when he wants me to, and it be ok and more than ok, it be lovely." - That's what I would love a partner to do. Mmmm that would be good!

Love, true love is unconditional I have really come to understand. By it's unconditional nature all are worthy of love, because if there is some standard before love can kick in then it is conditional. So don't buy into being unworthy of love.

Sharing who you are, and your feelings can be painfully vulnerable and painful when it's rejected. It's important not to let the pain of rejection turn into fear of being hurt, and then blocking or numbing emotions. I highly recommend watching "Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability"

So to answer your question I think that one should always honestly share ones feelings (into as much as your capacity and mental well-being can handle).

You give me hope that there is someone out there for me, who is in touch with sharing their feelings as you seem to be. :-)

[jagman]

Amethyst, There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings with the right person.
I'm going to tell you a story about a girl I know.She is extremely caring and sweet
but she has had string of bad relationships for the past 3 years.
She has a really strong desire to meet the right one.So strong that when she starts
dating she immediately becomes an open book. She wants love so badly, she lets
her signifigant other take advantage of her. I'm not saying this is the case with yourself.
but sometimes one must learn to love themselves before they can love another.
IMO there's nothing wrong with a little mystery either.lol

[sian]

Posted by leolance (here)
Hi, I'm new to this forum. I think this might be my first post (besides the welcome one).

I am just starting to come to terms with the idea that I am an empath, and I agree with Sidney, you might be one too.

I have to say that there are guys out there that LOVE feelings and emotion (I know because I am one of them). Don't listen to your friend about not sharing with guys, that is totally untrue.

In my own experience there are feelings and emotions that women sometimes have that I don't understand. I feel them but I haven't had an intimate relationship, enough where it was okay to ask about these feelings. I am in the same boat, but on the other end of the spectrum, where it is frustratingly difficult to find someone who is vulnerable or in tune with themselves enough to share their deep down feelings.

To me it is a great gift and honour to have someone share who they really are with you. I find the things that people hide and are ashamed of, end up being the most beautiful things about them. When you said "it would be so nice to feel safe enough to just be me and and flow in his presence, high and low, and even openly share when he wants me to, and it be ok and more than ok, it be lovely." - That's what I would love a partner to do. Mmmm that would be good!

Love, true love is unconditional I have really come to understand. By it's unconditional nature all are worthy of love, because if there is some standard before love can kick in then it is conditional. So don't buy into being unworthy of love.

Sharing who you are, and your feelings can be painfully vulnerable and painful when it's rejected. It's important not to let the pain of rejection turn into fear of being hurt, and then blocking or numbing emotions. I highly recommend watching "Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability"

So to answer your question I think that one should always honestly share ones feelings (into as much as your capacity and mental well-being can handle).

You give me hope that there is someone out there for me, who is in touch with sharing their feelings as you seem to be. :-)

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

i'm so fearfull of rejection, and yes full of SHAME AND GUILT, a roller coaster which is destroyng me and EVERYONE I LOVE. I fell in love with a beautiful man who graciously declined, but i could not let go, it haunts me all the time that i couldn't let it go. I know i've caused him TERRIBLE pain, also his family, in my own way i've tried to say I AM SO VERY SORRY but of course it doesn't work like that. i'm just a horrible shadow everywhere.