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Thread: To be a woman

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    Default To be a woman

    Some women choose to be a "hard woman", some women choose to be a "soft woman"...it is the woman's choice...and one suits her better than the other...all I know for myself is, that those walls nearly killed me...those walls were lies...those walls blocked connection...so when people want to make me harder, I know better...when people want me to be more masculine, I know better (for myself...)...

    Women are taught that they should not be as sensitive as they are...that they should not feel as hurt as they sometimes do...that they should not need a man to be happier and to feel safer...and that they should lie about (parts of) who they are and pretend...

    What really makes a woman happy? It depends on the woman...

    At my most vulnerable times, (some) people can think that I am weak, pathetic, unhappy, too dependent and insecure woman, and it matters much less now...

    Because I'm a (mostly feminine) woman, not a man, and I love being a woman.

    This does not mean for women like me to not be considerate or to not work on ourselves...it just means accepting who and how we are, and being true to our natures, following out hearts, flowing with life...

    (this is just about women who feel like this - not all do).

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    always ...

    "This above all; to thine own self be true."

    William Shakespeare

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    I cried deeply when I listened to and watched this beautiful song last night... <3



    ¤=[Post Update]=¤

    Quote Posted by giovonni (here)
    always ...

    "This above all; to thine own self be true."

    William Shakespeare
    and then we attract the right people to us

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Sometimes life can be a very good teacher.

    I usually don't pretend to be something I am not, but considering the work environment I am in, there come the point when I have to wear some sort of a suit to suit the surroundings. When you are naturally corresponding to a man, some of them, not to say all of them, start behaving as though I am having an agenda or looking for an intimate relationship, while all I do is being open to another human being. Women start assuming the same and view me as some sort of a competition, so one gets messages from all kinds of sides and in all kinds of ways. With time I have learned to keep my natural side of myself, or otherwise I would have become a bit crazy. More than I already am (the crazy bit).

    I have worked in that type of world for so long that I have forgotten how the natural (for me) feels like.

    When I started writing here, I was free to be as I am, but this also changed after few comments and indirect messages I got as time went by.

    But that is okay, I guess, I probably have to stay out of the 'reality' bubble to keep remembering who I am in my core.
    *
    I never tried to attract any kind of people to me, but I did meet quite a few precious to my heart, for exactly that reason, I think.

    For me this is not so much a matter of choosing to be this or that, it is either part of who the woman really is, her temperament, or it is an adaptive mechanism for her to be able to carry her tasks.
    It also depends on how her family has risen her to be, what have been her interests, hobbies, friends, etc.
    When I knit, or paint, of cook, or take care of my flowers I have no problem to be myself, and also that type of activity helps with balancing the internal homeostasis, mood and health.
    Last edited by chocolate; 17th August 2014 at 17:13.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Amethyst,
    Thank you for your post. It resonates with me. This is the first time someone else has said she WANTS and FEELS like a woman. Meaning being soft, tender, caring, sensitive to the point of tears and being MAMA BEAR hard.
    My experience has been one of being accused of wanting to be a man, should be a man etc....It stunned me as I did not understand such harsh confounding attitudes towards me. Also, I have been accused (told to me as if I am in the wrong) of being tooooooooooooooooooooooooo sensitive and I should get a tough skin. So I suppose I wanted to be a sensitive man??? lol See the confusion there?. lol
    I refused to believe I was not a good human b/c of my "womanly ways". It has taken several decades to unravel and accept the ridiculous statements (as ridiculous) given to a real feminine woman. Not feminazzi but true feminine. It sort of feels like the time has come where I can show my true self again and the many woman who are true to being a woman can shine.
    Not there completely but the tides of change are here. I refused to become hardened. I refused. I ended up going into a "cave" for 7 years just so I could get to know who I am and recognize what was crapola. My heart knew but my mind got in the way. It was so confusing to be treated hard, cruel, cold and humiliated for being WOMAN !. It was relentless and wrong.
    Love to all with tears of JOY. So there !! lolol.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Amethyst, great topic. I too have spent my life covering the heart that ii wear on my sleeve. It seems no matter how we are, someone will hold iy against us. This i believe is part of the agenda, to scorn the divine feminine.
    Look at television and you can see where people learn these behaviors.
    We are shamed for showing our true emotion, regardless of how soft or hard that emotion presents itself. Society has evolved into a state of oppression because of this. People walk around blank faced, i have seen it everywhere i go.
    I try tp make a point to smilee at people, let other cars go in front of me to be polite etc. It is easy to feel jaded and cynical at life.
    I moved to a small town where i was not welcomed. The gossip here is unbelievable. People do not know me. They dont know anything about me, but they are quick to judge and talk about me behind their back. I am sure because i am divorced and relatively attractive, they think i am going to gobafter their husbands.
    This is learned behavior fro m television IMO, and is disgraceful. I tried to make friends a few times, but became so disenchanted but these women all gossipping about each other it made my stomach churn.
    You are correct in that the only way to be is true to yourself. Because regardless of who and how we are, someone will surely put the proverbial dagger in your back.
    I have had to grow some thick skin that makes me appear hard on the surface, but it is a survival mechanism. Inside i am soft and vulnerable, and i cry in private.
    It is too bad that people cannot just be accepting of each other. That is how we were naturally created. IMO, people have gone backwards with spiritual evolution.
    I am speaking of U S american society. IMO, other cultures, for example, central america, where there is not the material focus, people communicate with open arms, and genuine caring.

    Television is toxic, and itis brainwashing an entire society to become mean selfish judgemental deceiptful group.

    Its hard being a cat in a dog eat dog world. End rant.lol Il go have some catnip now. 😜

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Nice ideas ladies!
    To add, Ive noticed while living in Fla, that the latin men, just to be general, were more accepting of womens emotions. I thought that was neat. There is some of the traditional roles being played, but I noticed it was mostly with more respect than I had seen before. I mean the man was more respectful and happy to come home and eat dinner. The lady was happy to make it as she was loved for being her.
    Its just a generalization, but the idea is there.

    Second, recently had a talk with a couple about how when a woman 'gets emotional' freaks out' bubbles up' that when the man just accepts that and doesn't react to it, she mellows out pretty quick. lol. Meaning the acceptance of her emotions and how he can just take it, let it roll off or even really listen, can be the soothing balm for a woman.
    My brother told me his wife yells at him, where is my black dress?! hes like I dunno. (why would he know? he didn't move it lol) But he just says, honey let me help you find it..
    ;0)

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Agreed! I do live where the are lots of winries and vinyards. Seasonally ethnics/ mostly hispanic/latino families come for work. They are ekind,loving d appreciative and have never had a rude encounter with any of them.
    I wont delve into the border issue, but i hope the latino kindness will rub off on the america people an not the other way around. Il stop here as to not drift further off topic, but in the end i feel money creates hostile environments.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    I'm really glad that all you ladies replied! Feels nice to share about this together...

    Chocolate, yeah, I see what you mean, sometimes it's best to not reveal certain things with certain people (I'll still be like this at times), and it's not like a conscious choice to be like this or that in the moment (at least sometimes)...when I say choose, well for me it just means choose to be myself and express myself authentically more often...might seem kinda silly to say about choosing it, hehe but that's the effect of this society for you!

    Sidney, yes I'm a cat too! hehe

    angelichuman, maybe I should move to Latin America! Personally, I love some of the traditions, like cooking and the guy being the more dominant or assertive one (not like, totally)...

    Those walls...I guess that most women have put them up (a bit or a lot) at times...sometimes they are even useful and it's best to put one up...but sometimes, it's better coming down...it can feel so nice when it's down and it feels safe enough...
    Last edited by Natalia; 17th August 2014 at 19:57.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    I love this image! Balancing the masculine and feminine...



    Found the picture on this blog - she seems interesting!

    I am new to the occult world of masculine/feminine paradigms, but I hope my teachers taught me well..here are my thoughts...from a mans perspective.

    Isn't this a core fundamental of the mystery schools/traditions and a large part of the great work? To balance ones sacred feminine and masculine entities. We're still dominated by a patriarchal world; where women are duped into thinking equality and fairness means they should be able to be exactly as men are in our culture. This I find sad. We don't need more career jockeys - we don't need Margaret Thatcher clones... we need balance. We need the sacred masculine ... not the false!

    From where I stand I see work needed by both sexes on both elements of this paradigm - though Men largely need work on their sacred feminine aspect, women one could argue have been coaxed more and more into the false masculine and as a result numb their caregiver instincts, their compassion and their extraordinary ability to teach this and bring these emotions and powers out in males.

    I'm a very sensitive man as men go. I guess it goes with being a musician/poet... but there's an artist in all of us no? somewhere...I really believe there can be.

    Anyway.. this had me told I was 'too sensitive' and such, all my life. I'm so grateful I didn't listen. My heart was screaming at me that this was all wrong. The way we live, the way we treat each other. It's thanks to my emotions and harnessing that feminine energy of compassion that I was able to come through and change my life and attitude.

    I was at Boom festival just last week. It's whole theme was the sacred feminine...the art and symbolism was just beautiful! as well as the energy.

    Peace
    Last edited by Iarmhéid; 17th August 2014 at 20:13.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Quote Posted by Iarmhéid (here)
    I love this image! Balancing the masculine and feminine...



    Found the picture on this blog - she seems interesting!

    I am new to the occult world of masculine/feminine paradigms, but I hope my teachers taught me well..here are my thoughts...from a mans perspective.

    Isn't this a core fundamental of the mystery schools/traditions and a large part of the great work? To balance ones sacred feminine and masculine entities. We're still dominated by a patriarchal world; where women are duped into thinking equality and fairness means they should be able to be exactly as men are in our culture. This I find sad. We don't need more career jockeys - we don't need Margaret Thatcher clones... we need balance. We need the sacred masculine ... not the false!

    From where I stand I see work needed by both sexes on both elements of this paradigm - though Men largely need work on their sacred feminine aspect, women one could argue have been coaxed more and more into the false masculine and as a result numb their caregiver instincts, their compassion and their extraordinary ability to teach this and bring these emotions and powers out in males.

    I'm a very sensitive man as men go. I guess it goes with being a musician/poet... but there's an artist in all of us no? somewhere...I really believe there can be.

    Anyway.. this had me told I was 'too sensitive' and such, all my life. I'm so grateful I didn't listen. My heart was screaming at me that this was all wrong. The way we live, the way we treat each other. It's thanks to my emotions and harnessing that feminine energy of compassion that I was able to come through and change my life and attitude.

    I was at Boom festival just last week. It's whole theme was the sacred feminine...the art and symbolism was just beautiful! as well as the energy.

    Peace
    That's a lovely picture!

    Yeah I do believe that we need enough balance between masculine and feminine energies, but not as in 50/50...not unless that is what is true for you...

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Don't 'should' on me and I won't 'should' on you.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    I wouldn't say we should get as mechanical as that with numbers so I agree with you! I think you'd know someone who's balanced when you see their thoughts, feelings and actions in harmony.

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    Thumbs up Re: To be a woman

    Thanks Lady's

    Your sharing comments truly emulate the true power and beauty of the feminine side of being a human ...

    For me it is the most attractive aspect of our living experience and what i am most drawn too ...

    While as a male i have always desired the companionship of a strong woman ... The influences of a compassionate and authentic loving women ... It is what this planet needs most ... Instead of the futile emptiness of this insanely testosterone driven world.

    Bless You All ...

    Last edited by giovonni; 17th August 2014 at 21:40. Reason: spelling

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Sojourner Truth (1797-1883): Ain't I A Woman?
    Delivered 1851
    Women's Convention, Akron, Ohio




    Quote
    Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

    That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

    Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

    Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

    If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

    Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Quote Posted by giovonni (here)
    Thanks Lady's

    Your sharing comments truly emulate the true power and beauty of the feminine side of being a human ...

    For me it is the most attractive aspect of our living experience and what i am most drawn too ...

    While as a male i have always desired the companionship of a strong woman ... The influences of a compassionate and authentic loving women ... It is what this planet needs most ... Instead of the futile emptiness of this insanely testosterone driven world.

    Bless You All ...

    Thanks for that! The song is very beautiful and yes, we certainly need love now more than ever.

    I've always enjoyed this version hehe:


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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Women are very powerful.

    Current society although much better than centuries past, has been backwards since the beginning of the Patriarchal age.

    In relationships and probably even societies at large, women are the reservoirs of energy(hence why they bear life) and are closer to the source or whatever you wish to call it.

    Men, without a woman to ground them and show them the intricacies of life, are otherwise prone to self-destruction and detachment running oblivious trying to control this and that, making a mess of things.

    This lesson was taught me early in my life, all the way back to High school. To put it bluntly I was an idiot; I was heavily into drinking and sleeping with a variety of different women and was just generally lost. It wasn't until I had a real relationship with a woman in-which an actual deep connection developed and brought me out my brutish behavior, which was simply a front for inner anguish I carried anyway. It's such a connection in which the man nor woman isn't "Dominant", but it's a symbiotic exchange in which the woman nourishes the man with her soft deep nature, and a similar effect although different is reciprocated in the love expression for a woman.

    The whole Men are superior and meant to dominate is a large reason why society is generally lost today. Although, i'd say it's equally as important for women to find a balance in their masculine expression as well; which is taught to them most intimately in a strong relationship.

    In a world of duality, it's simply another lesson in balance.

    I believe this is why true, healthy relationships are such a rarity of today...

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Quote Posted by BlueMuffin (here)
    Women are very powerful.

    Current society although much better than centuries past, has been backwards since the beginning of the Patriarchal age.

    In relationships and probably even societies at large, women are the reservoirs of energy(hence why they bear life) and are closer to the source or whatever you wish to call it.

    Men, without a woman to ground them and show them the intricacies of life, are otherwise prone to self-destruction and detachment running oblivious trying to control this and that, making a mess of things.

    This lesson was taught me early in my life, all the way back to High school. To put it bluntly I was an idiot; I was heavily into drinking and sleeping with a variety of different women and was just generally lost. It wasn't until I had a real relationship with a woman in-which an actual deep connection developed and brought me out my brutish behavior, which was simply a front for inner anguish I carried anyway. It's such a connection in which the man nor woman isn't "Dominant", but it's a symbiotic exchange in which the woman nourishes the man with her soft deep nature, and a similar effect although different is reciprocated in the love expression for a woman.

    The whole Men are superior and meant to dominate is a large reason why society is generally lost today. Although, i'd say it's equally as important for women to find a balance in their masculine expression as well; which is taught to them most intimately in a strong relationship.

    In a world of duality, it's simply another lesson in balance.

    I believe this is why true, healthy relationships are such a rarity of today...
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

    I've been in a (reasonably healthy lol) relationship with my boyfriend for over a couple of decades now. Somehow, we've managed to hang in there this long. Like they say, it's not all been a bed of roses (to put it lightly haha!)!

    Quote Posted by BlueMuffin (here)
    This lesson was taught me early in my life, all the way back to High school.
    Forgive me, it's amusing to hear that coming from someone who is only 25!

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Quote Posted by Pris (here)
    Don't 'should' on me and I won't 'should' on you.
    Alright, cheeky! hehe

    btw, I noticed that if you add C to your name and rearranged it, you get crisp! (it can be a raw food one if you want...)...

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    Default Re: To be a woman

    Quote Posted by Amethyst (here)
    Quote Posted by Pris (here)
    Don't 'should' on me and I won't 'should' on you.
    Alright, cheeky! hehe

    btw, I noticed that if you add C to your name and rearranged it, you get crisp! (it can be a raw food one if you want...)...
    Lol! I just can't help myself. When the subject of 'being a woman' comes up, I can't help but take it lightly.

    In my own head, I'm not 'a woman' per se. The vehicle is a woman and it seems to come along with some interesting emotions (and body parts lol), but generally, from my point-of-view, I'd say I'm rather gender neutral. I've been classified (lol) as a gamine and a tomboy. Coming more from the perspective of a kid (in an adult body) who doesn't care if they're a boy or a girl, I just want to have fun.

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