Posted by Delight
(here)
Posted by Amethyst
(here)
As a highly sensitive empath, I have picked up on...
Much accusations going on of other people being "narcissists" for reasons that are just, human...
To me, narcissism means the opposite of empathy and caring about others...it's about putting others down to feel better about themselves...so a deeply caring and empathic person cannot be "a narcissist"...but, how I see it is that every person with an ego can have narcissistic moments, it's just that some people have it a lot more strongly and more often, than others.
Some common examples of misconceptions:
Someone could have 200 photos up of themselves on face book, and another can have 5...the person who has 5 thinks that anyone who has over 50 photos is a narcissist...this shows their lack of empathy...the person who has 200 rarely puts any one down and has lots of empathy for other people...unlike the one who has only 5 photos up, who often talks badly about others, usually in passive ways...
People trying to overcome social anxiety by exposing themselves by sharing and communicating with others, is not narcissism, it is simply them trying to grow, rise above their own fears, and reach out to and connect with others.
People sharing their own story, is not necessarily narcissism (though it can be - just about any action could have that reason behind it), it may be a gentle and indirect way to try to help others, and maybe themselves, too, helping yourself by not putting others down is not narcissism, it's self love.
People can confuse a true self love with narcissism - they are very different.
Social anxiety (and people who can be very introspective, or have Asperger's Syndrome) can be confused with narcissism, they are very different at what is at the core of it (the one who has had social anxiety can be the one who has been bullied at school by those who had strong narcissistic tendencies, to me, narcissism is cruelty).
So, if you are mostly an empathic, caring and kind person, you are not a "narcissist" however it may seem to some, and however some want to see you and make you seem!
I think narcissm is an inner emptiness. I think it is is being locked out of one's inner power and being caught on the surface.
The questions did not really seem to do anything but show how power is seen as either/or. Leader/follower, rule the world/be afraid to do that. It is also open to interpretation. I don't want to be admired and do get embarrassed by compliments but I think I am special and want to contribute something unique.I am not an order giver or taker. The questions were not really "mine" but I scored a 10.
Sorry Pris if this is too heavy:
IMO the emptiness of one's own connection to an inner nourishing power source demands being fed by the external feedback. A hollow sense and non-sustaining ability to self soothe needs constant supply of attention.
In a world that has become lost in the mirror of the superficial material, fewer children are supported in developing that really solid inner core that needs no reflection to maintain. IMO narcissism is a character condition that other narcissists train.
My research into narcissism came because my mother was fully self absorbed and had such need of attention that she created drama, interpersonal conflict and personal illness to keep people tied to her. She may have been a sociopath? They seem like degrees of failure to thrive.
By the definition here, Mom did say what she was about. The saying what one is about "I need you" is managed by allure, making you feel alternately appreciated and devalued, maintaining a kind of emotional chaos around her, setting people against one another and one other thing. The ability to spin "reality" and spin others.
IMO a narcissist/sociopath believes their spin on reality. They are in my observation not lying (deliberate deceit knowing one is lying) but are living a lie. IMO they are compartmentalized in their inner processing. It is really hard to comprehend. It makes one feel crazy in the relationship. The seeming sincerity is hard to suss even if one is good at reading others. People living with extreme narcissists are in the spin.
She was the kind of mother who was popular with my friends (but did not want me to have deep friendships), had a bleeding heart for social injustice (if it did not hurt her), was kind and caring and beautiful and spiritual and also manipulative, hostile, considered herself to be the center of the Universe and unwilling to allow anyone else to be themselves.
My mother was tuned in to others and she could seem to be empathic and that was a actually how she reeled me in when I was in need of comfort. Maybe she did feel with others? People really liked her and found her a beautiful person until a betrayal messed it up. Mom was the one who was suffering most. A narcissist suffers.
My observation of the subject came form the painful experience of first admiring my mother, then being disillusioned, then hating her, then realizing she was all twisted up by her own inner world that was a real HELL.
I think this is a real issue and important especially not to keep making this condition worse. As I said, I believe narcissists create the condition in others under their "care". IMO the whole of modern institutions is geared to POWER OVER. Power within is what we might have as humans.
The questions were seeming to lend to either/or (either a leader OR follower as example) IMO a narcissist is very intelligent, very creative and has much to offer. It may be that early on, a beautiful creative personality and the gifts get feedback so the person only feels loved by her offerings. A glossy facade is established as valuable.
IMO narcissm gets passed on because the child is used by their "superiors" and being open and vulnerable is punished. I am not sure that I think the test was a good one to identify the real issue of the spectrum from mild healthy self esteem to all encompassing NEED to overpower others.
Are You A Narcissist?
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