Healing extremely low self esteem

[Natalia]

Whether it's an aspect of it in a certain way, or a few, or in general...

Anyone, no matter what they look like or act like or how much they seem to have or how "successful" or popular they might seem, can have aspects of very low self esteem in whatever area...

It's painful, and it can effect our lives negatively, and we don't want it, and we want to heal it at least a bit...

And because it can be hidden and not expected, some people do not know that what we are doing, is trying to heal and feel better about ourselves and that we needed to do this because we felt the opposite for so long...some people who know us well enough (or just, unusually intuitively pick up on it) know what it's about and support it and/or are ok with it...knowing that it's not about having a big head, big ego (that needs to be made smaller) or being too vain...it's about trying to heal the opposite (low self esteem)...

One of the hardest things for me was being in that interview room with other candidates introducing myself and trying to sell myself - everyone else was better at it than I was (a few times I escaped to the toilet before I had to talk, and never came back, I just could not do it...and I still am not confident in this way)...and being proud of myself was not something that I was bought up to feel...and of course all of the things that happened that bought about low self esteem...

People can have a mix of low, high, and medium self esteem...sometimes having more of one extreme than the another...we are not low or high self esteem, we are people (spiritual beings having a human experience)...

So, I empathize very deeply with people wanting to heal low self esteem...to feel good about themselves...they may (and will) make mistakes with it along the way, but it is a needed process...

That woman who all her life felt fat and ugly, loses a lot of weight, and poses in a bikini and puts it on face book, good for you I say and feel!

Good for you.

Do what makes you happy and what heals you (as long at it is not causing harm).

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=GE5nhD0W4ak

(this is not in support of when others put others down compared to them or someone else).

[Natalia]

I just want to add...sometimes we are not confident about something for good reason and it is real - because we are not good at it! But, I am talking about when people feel worse than they are and it causes them unnecessary suffering and lack of success in certain ways...

I'm picturing a bright and jolly woman in her early 50s, with fairly short brown hair, who is a little bit cocky about showing off her obese body and personality, she knows, that some people think that she is ugly and that no man could want her or that there must be something wrong with a man who does want her, and that she does not deserve to be confident about her attractiveness and needs to be told how ugly she is, etc along those lines...she also knows, that she feels sexy and good enough anyway - sometimes...but feels a bit poo at times like most women do...(but she hides it). She knows that beauty and attractiveness is also about inner beauty, joy, happiness, playfulness, warmth, and whatever else that it is...and that some men do find her attractive...including her current boyfriend...so her confidence is not based on delusion...seems fair and balanced to me, and I respect that.

Now, if that woman thought that she could win Miss World, that would be delusional...but knowing that she has some inner and outer beauty (in the eye of the beholder) is true...

Do not base your self esteem solely on those who do not value you...

Remember, we are valuable to some people, and not others...

(and if we want to improve something along the way, we can)...

[Natalia]

I also want to add, that not everything that the person does that is expressed and shared is about trying to heal their self esteem and grow in confidence, it is also about giving and service to others and practicing another skill, and learning and growing, as well, so it is just part of their journey. Most people have had some aspects of low self esteem, to separate yourself from it totally, is not being honest...

We live in a society that does not support people loving themselves...or, "only love yourself if and when we think you should"...

To me, kindness comes first, but that also means kindness to self...(which can be service to others, I told someone the other day, the best thing that you can do for me is to take care of yourself...and it was said at a time when the person was open to it)...

[betoobig]

You are so wondefull... thanks
Love

[Natalia]

Posted by betoobig (here)
You are so wondefull... thanks
Love

So are you, betoobig <3

[Ikarusion]

nice smile and dress. very attractive.

[Natalia]

Posted by Ikarusion (here)
nice smile and dress. very attractive.

Thank you! That was my fairy outfit for my fancy dress birthday party this year.

[rgray222]

Life doesn't just happen, it requires our participation.

• We are part of the Universe, both inside and out. – Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
• Be yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have present in your Life.
• Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us.
• We mirror what surrounds us – and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
• We must take responsibility for what is in our life.

[TargeT]

Posted by Amethyst (here)

Posted by Ikarusion (here)
nice smile and dress. very attractive.

Thank you! That was my fairy outfit for my fancy dress birthday party this year.

Did you close with a meow?

haha...

This is a pretty important topic, most people have not been set up well to deal with self-esteme (excluding the genetic lottery winners); if you can come out a head on this topic you're a very resilient individual!

[Michael Moewes]

Awesome, never mind what others may think of you, as you are perfect. no more to say.

[Pilutaq]

maybe this can be a internal dis-ease ? if one have low self esteem try researching hiatal hernia look for symptoms
the eastern way of interpreting life forces in which they named it known as Chi or Qi when it became low or lowered state signs of depression etc..emerged
i would advice although i am no doctor but i had been through and changed life view diet anything i could possibly find and did everything to reverse the dis-ease
and it was belief systems i had adopted and i fought agaisnt but now i realized you become what you fight and i did fight against the disease which resulted perhaps doubled it but came to realize i added fire into fire and anger cannot be solved by anger and so on
and the only solution i found was that the problem in itself had also the solution like poison from a snake also has the very cure inside
so if it is a destructive there is also a creative side like a nova it destroys and also creates at the same time and we get to choose which,whixh is to balance i believe
best wishes to those who undergo similar paths there is always a way remember inside of us there are some emotions that are eager to come out
if you can't say it, write it, can't write it paint, can't paint shout it there is always a way

[sandy]

IMHO it is about SELF WORTH and esteem comes from the level of self worth you have...........

I have had power, position and what some may call money in life thru a succesful working career, and presented with confidence, esteem knowing I could produce what ever I set my mind too.

However it was always to help others as unknowingly I received my sense of self worth from others praise or validation and therefore no matter the outer success I was unable to feel whole inside.

It took until I was 60 years old to figure out that it is all about SELF WORTH and until I BELIEVED I was worthy for no other reason than being born, I wasn't able I able to truly heal from the inside out.

[Anchor]

--




When we are kids we depend utterly on others for our needs.

A primal fear is will our needs be met?

As we grow up we should become more capable of looking after ourselves and contributing well to the needs of both ourselves and the group or tribe to which we belong, if any.
However, the modern culture one lives in does a good job of intervening and messes all this up.

Consequently many remain dependent always on others to meet their needs and have been sold the line that in one way or another that this is how it is, and that you are simply not good enough or competent enough to do anything for yourself in a reliable and “safe” way.

I think the intent of the current elite is to allow the handpicked or competition survivors develop the self-confidence to bubble up to the top and the rest are simply fodder and grist to the mill of whatever machinations of power that are trendy for the moment. Then, of course there are those that were lucky enough to escape that programming and remain well adjusted and whole humans powered by love and not hate, powered by the needs of others more than themselves.

Those caught in the trap, but not quite enough that they have been institutionalized, medicated, oppressed or depressed beyond all possibility of reason and sensible action are faced with the possibility that it doesn’t have to be like this and that the state they are in can be changed and that “healing” can occur.

This glimmer of hope is simply an artifact derived from the recognition of the truth within and it is exactly what you needed at this time. It is your light.

As simple as I can think to say it, that truth is that we are all, without exception, hewn from the perfect and magnificent matter of the infinite creator.

Is there any logic that can defeat that truth? Does this truth ring true in the hearts of all any who pay attention to it?

I suggest that we are spiritually invisible yet materially visible in our flesh bound experience, an experience which is a clever and functional illusion of separation from the all, and that we all chose took to learn, experience, and make choices.

We each contribute ourselves to the co-creation about us and we do that regardless of all other things to do with our situation in life. So long as we are alive (incarnate) we transduce the love and the light of all into the world about us.

We can be harsh judges of ourselves. We feel that we need to be, and to a certain extent we do, but we have been distorted in many cases to judge ourselves largely by the standards of others.

Living in a culture is bound to do that, but the extent to which many do it in our one yields to distortion that requires the healing.

I often find myself suggesting that the judgement of others is merely an opinion, wheras the judgement of self is valid, but often brutal.

It seems to me one engaged in that healing process will bump up against some obstacles and overcoming them will be variously challenging depending on the exact situation.

The route to independence and materially evident “self-worth” requires increased levels of personal responsibility. By design this causes fear, which is why the trap works well - it is based on that primal fear - will my needs be met, am I good enough to meet my needs?

To get over your fears you need some, perhaps one, or perhaps more than one "tricks" to help.

My suggestion for inclusion in a potential bag of tricks (please suggest more!) for starters:

1) Asking that infinite creator from which you are made for help

2) Learn new skills. Have fun with that. It could be camping, survival, archery, yoga, cooking, martial arts, dance, carpentry etc. Pick what feels right. There have to be heaps of ideas here. Learn how to do more with a computer perhaps, play an instrument, sing. The key here is to teach yourself and prove to yourself (and no-one else) that you can “do” and that you in your current material form are a competent and worthy human.

3) Regular affirmations

4) Daily practice

5) Making new friends

6) Improving ones health as necessary

7) Meditation

8) Be kind to yourself, that brutal self judgement can be so harmful

9) Random smiling

10) Random acts of blessing

It is hard to take a leap of faith and know that you will heal!

I hope the tricks help.

But I am sure you who truly seek will find. You who step on that path of self-healing will heal and you will do it because what has needed to be experienced has been experienced and those artifacts of that experience are no longer needed and will fall away.

You will be restored in increments towards the perfect authentic human; a human who it has been suggested was made in the image of the creator and with the love and the light of the one infinite creator.

A..

[Pilutaq]

holding little finger for 20 seconds helps to alleviate emotion energies in motion but are actually recommended for 5 minutes to 20 minutes

it is a technique based from japaneese thing called jin shin kyutsu meaning

JIN SHIN JYUTSU ®
Definition
Oriental charactersLiterally defined, Jin Shin Jyutsu is the Creator's Art through Compassionate Man, an innate part of human wisdom waiting to become reawakened. As Plato once said, "Learning is remembering." All is within us waiting to be brought to consciousness.

We are always utilizing parts of Jin Shin Jyutsu naturally--folding our hands, leaning on our cheeks, placing our hands on our hips. With increasing awareness, we understand what these holds mean, how the energy moves to unblock the stagnations, when to utilize the flows and mudras (finger positions known in Japan as injos), where the energy flows and the why of life, the philosophy. All the answers to our life and form are contained right within us.

happy Theta activation everyone !



source:http://www.thetadnaactivation.com/jin.html

[Natalia]

Posted by TargeT (here)

Posted by Amethyst (here)

Posted by Ikarusion (here)
nice smile and dress. very attractive.

Thank you! That was my fairy outfit for my fancy dress birthday party this year.

Did you close with a meow?

haha...

Yes. hehe it's one of my fave words...

Posted by TargeT (here)
[This is a pretty important topic, most people have not been set up well to deal with self-esteme (excluding the genetic lottery winners); if you can come out a head on this topic you're a very resilient individual!

I am glad that you mentioned resilience, something good to focus on and appreciate

[Natalia]

Thank you to everyone for your replies



¤=[Post Update]=¤

Who knows just how valuable others are and to whom? All I know about everyone in this way is that they all have something valuable about them and have potential to grow.

[Roisin]

Sometimes it's best to stay away from the competition because whatever it is that you're good at, those who are competing with you in some way will many times be the ones who will be very critical of you.. at least on a level that could have a negative effect on you in some way if your self-esteem is not intact.

So you really do have to develop a thick skin to be able to get to the point where their negative feedback does not affect you. Best just to associate with those who make you feel good about yourself. That's always the best route to go as life is too short to be around people who seem to always want to diminish you in some way. We all know people like that so best just to either stay away from them or ignore them. lol

[Natalia]

Posted by Roisin (here)
Sometimes it's best to stay away from the competition because whatever it is that you're good at, those who are competing with you in some way will many times be the ones who will be very critical of you.. at least on a level that could have a negative effect on you in some way if your self-esteem is not intact.

So you really do have to develop a thick skin to be able to get to the point where their negative feedback does not affect you. Best just to associate with those who make you feel good about yourself. That's always the best route to go as life is too short to be around people who seem to always want to diminish you in some way. We all know people like that so best just to either stay away from them or ignore them. lol

That is so true, Roisin

(and this was picked up on in a personalized reading that my intuitive astrologer friend did for me some years ago of the aspects, signs and houses of Mercury and Neptune in my chart, and it was that (some) other people would compete with me, not want me to succeed and misunderstand me - and not the other way around...)...

Thankfully, I also have a few good friends, who, like me, are not competitive in nature, my sensitive, caring, mature, fair, friends...

As for thick skin, my gosh, the thought of me, super sensitive being, to develop thick skin is odd and a bit unbelievable, however, in certain ways it does need to get thicker - it's true...of course, people can take advantage of this and know how to hurt me (even though I've done nothing to hurt them, though something about me may trigger something in them...)...

The alarm bells can start ringing...there is a choice to listen to them, or not...(sometimes my heart ignores what my gut sais and it isn't always wise...)...

So, your post was a good reminder to me, and the essence behind it that made me feel understood and supported (like you are a true friend), thank you.

[PathWalker]

Thanks for Anchor very good post.

I wish to offer my insight experience.

1. Develop an authentic desire to change yourself within (the outside will align accordingly to reflect the change).
2. Healing the defect/inferior child within. In our childhood we buy to the belief that we are defected merchandise and we are inferior (with the assistance from our parents/siblings/peers/teachers).
2. Learn to identify and grow esteem from your small successes.
3. Assisting the less fortunate, empower you to develop a contributing self value (therefore displacing the belief in inferiority/insignificance).
4. Relocating to a emotionally nurturing environment.