Here and Now...What's Happening?

[jackovesk]

Posted by Natalia (here)
Flash, ulli, Marianne,

I see that we have clashed at times and more so lately, but I care about you all, maybe you all care about me to.

Sometimes misunderstandings happen, and clashes, and triggers, as well as boundaries being crossed.

I mean no harm and don't want to hurt anyone, and in all of our hearts and higher self, I am sure that we all don't.

If we are not going to be buddy-buddy we can at least be respectful to one another, and forgive each other.

Peace and love

Why did Natalia retire..? Anyone..?

[araucaria]

Posted by jackovesk (here)
Why did Natalia retire..? Anyone..?

She announced below she was taking a break, and then didn't....

Posted by Natalia (here)
Going to take a month break from PA and Facebook from tomorrow.

will spend more alone time in nature, and in the stillness of the present moment

See you later, and take care <3

[ulli]

Posted by Iloveyou (here)
The situation was in so far strange as a big part of the conflict unfolded behind the scenes appearently and outsiders have only the public part of the picture. They think about it and get their own ideas wether they like it or not. And if someone shares his impression he is told: you don't have the whole picture.

I'm ready to trust the discernment, genuineness and willingness of the Here&Now women, all the more so I'm convinced that you know: Exclusion is never a real option. We are interconnected so tightly, all we experience or discern is a part of ourselves as individuals or community. Natalia is a part of each individual here, wether she is retired or not. And wether she has done wrong or not. LOVE is indivisible.

Now that I am 56 it was only three months ago that I've learned something: A wise woman knows when to speak and when to be silent. How much tears, disappointment, rejection and misunderstanding could have been avoided if I had known that earlier. For sure I haven't mastered it yet, maybe it will take me 30 more years. At the moment my whole body is shouting: Shut up! My whole body except one tiny part. The part of me who has seen unfolding similiar scenarios too often: A system becomes unstable and vulnerable for what reason ever and the weakest part of it is identified and eliminated as fast as possible. But you know: Life does not work that way. The principle of life is INTEGRATION.

A wise woman only gives advice if she's asked for. We cannot change people. We can just love them, listen to them, give them space to be themselves, to make their own 'mistakes' again and again, until they grow out of it. To interfere only if they are actually about to do damage to themselves or others. What is perceived as damage varies individually as well as culturally. To notice where one's current limits are is a real challenge (speaking to myself).

I'm seeing a circle of powerful women here, who really care and stand in their own right, there's no need to call for men's support. Just don't throw away a part of yourself. I wish regaining strength and joy for everybody who has been hurt. Believe it or not, I LOVE YOU, ULLI and ALL as well as I love NATALIA. I really do.

And I love you too. But the issue here is not about a person's worthiness, but behavior patterns.
And this is a moderated forum, after all. No hinting, no explanations, no moderating could get Natalia to show respect to the general forum rules, which are all about keeping the purpose of Avalon intact.
The confusion arose because she wanted total and free license to "let all hang out", and to run her self-centered Natalia Show.
And it is true, there are things going on behind the scenes which I would never reveal, in order not to embarrass her further. As is probably true for all of us. We all have stuff in our past (and present) which makes us cringe when reminded.
About there being no exclusion. True at the highest level of idealism.
But there are other levels.
When we lock the front door at nights it is to EXCLUDE anyone we do not wish to enter our home at that point.
And that is our right.

So, to let me restate, _we are not judging people here_ we are moderating "behavior", which is different.
so as to keep Bill's space, the Project Avalon forum, safe for him.
Anyone who starts a forum will soon see that they need to set boundaries.
Natalia's record of ignoring the boundaries given goes back to the beginning.
Equally there is an amazing evidence of people showing her patience and tolerance.
Let's not forget that part.

I do love your name ILOVEYOU, and find you quite easy to love.
And that should be everyone's ideal to strive to such a state of radiance, and loving kindness.

At the same time also must remind those who say they love the whole world, I can present them with at least ten people who would put such a statement to the test.

I have had clients who were married to psychopaths, and their identity was totally destroyed, and the more loving they became, the more their psychopathic spouses became sadistic.

[RunningDeer]

Posted by Snowflower (here)
My head is shaking. Disorientation...weirdness...alternate nonreality? I started reading posts at the top of the page and can't connect any one to any other one. Did something happen to the neighborhood?

Hi Snowflower,
Process and healing stages in the village at present. But to the question, your answer is found several pages back.

Posted by Snowflower (here)
I'm a little better this morning. I'll tackle the refrigeration problem now and just keep plodding on getting ready for invasion. The official date is now April 3rd.

If you don’t mind me asking, you’ve been through a lot with family, health and property changes. Even your refrigerator went kaput. Are things better for you? Or at least adjusted to the changes?


RunningDeer <3

[ulli]

For the self to become truly empowered it needs to be unified. This means to weed out all contradictions in the personality. Being a bit moody is one thing, and one can say stuff like I'm sorry, "Im not feeling 100% today."

In other words, one is acknowledging that others have certain expectations, and might be surprised that they are not being met.

But when one has two opposite personalities where one side does not know what the other side is up to...this can cause endless trouble; not just to the bewildered friends and relatives, but ultimately to the self which resides in the core of the being.

Since I became intimidated by recent events I am now unable to say anything that I believe ought to be said without fearing that someone is feeling bad because they think I am talking down to them. I am having to overcome these fears now.


But I am reminded that we cannot have a society where one person demands that their feelings must be respected, while at the same time they wish to have the freedom to ignore the feelings of others.
Speaking of feelings, here are mine. If I stick out here, in this Here and Now thread, to the point that it attracts stalkers, and people who want to poke me with needles, seeing only my over-inflated ego, I will withdraw.
My wish here was a community, not a platform with me on stage, and having to face an audience of fans and hecklers.

[Bill Ryan]

Posted by jackovesk (here)

Posted by Natalia (here)
Flash, ulli, Marianne,

I see that we have clashed at times and more so lately, but I care about you all, maybe you all care about me to.

Sometimes misunderstandings happen, and clashes, and triggers, as well as boundaries being crossed.

I mean no harm and don't want to hurt anyone, and in all of our hearts and higher self, I am sure that we all don't.

If we are not going to be buddy-buddy we can at least be respectful to one another, and forgive each other.

Peace and love

Why did Natalia retire..? Anyone..?

It was my call, when I woke up yesterday morning and saw what had transpired overnight. Natalie was directly responsible, as it were, for the loss of Marianne as a mod and a forum member. And that was a huge loss for our team.

'Retiring' her was the kindest thing to do, as the new tag against her name implies leaving with full honor, so to speak. It's not 'unsubscribed', which tells the world it's a ban. ('Ban' is a violent word that I really don't like.)

I apologized sincerely in private to Marianne, Ulli and Flash. I had almost no clue any of this upset was happening: as many of you know, I rarely intrude into the quiet and serene village with my clumsy muddy boots, usually politely coming in for birthdays and special events only.

Instead, I was attending to a few bushfires elsewhere. So it was my bad for not supporting the folks here as needed.

I've been in touch with Natalie backchannel. She was upset, but is philosophically accepting her retirement, to her credit. She is embarrassed and apologetic. It should maybe be regarded rather like a relationship breakup... a degree of incompatibility, but no bad guys here. We wish her well on her journey of learning, which is one we all share.

Natalie asked me to delete some posts relating to all this, but after discussion with Ulli (quite an interesting one!) we both agreed to let them stand, as they represent reality, as it were.

But she also asked me to delete her thread about her Skype and Facebook contacts, which I've done. However, Ulli suggested that if anyone wants to get in touch with Natalie privately, they should PM me with their personal contact details and I will immediately forward them to Natalie, who I'm sure will appreciate them. That was an excellent idea — my thanks to Ulli for that kind thought of hers, which had not occurred to me.

My warmest regards to everyone here ~ Bill

*Bill puts his muddy boots back on, and tromps away with Mara to get back to work in the garden *

[Roisin]

NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by ulli (here)
For the self to become truly empowered it needs to be unified. This means to weed out all contradictions in the personality. Being a bit moody is one thing, and one can say stuff like I'm sorry, "Im not feeling 100% today."

In other words, one is acknowledging that others have certain expectations, and might be surprised that they are not being met.

But when one has two opposite personalities where one side does not know what the other side is up to...this can cause endless trouble; not just to the bewildered friends and relatives, but ultimately to the self which resides in the core of the being.

From my perspective, I don't seek to unify myself, but rather seek to have all the parts of me on agreeable speaking terms with each other.

We're too complicated to be as one, encompassing all aspects of ourselves, from any particular perspective.

Rather we're each more like a Village. In our better moments, the multiple self-organizing layers of our beings, at various physical, chemical, biological, mental, energetic and spiritual levels, are supportive of each other, or at least amused or tolerant of each other (aspect of our being.)

"Unified" sounded too monotone to me, risking being a denial of our own self-diversity.

When several of the various aspects of ourselves are cooperating on a common goal, we can indeed become quite powerful. Perhaps that is more what you meant by unity being empowering.

(If my occassional forays into philosophy make little sense, fret not ... I will reliably return to my nerdly computer and economic studies shortly.)

[RunningDeer]

Posted by ulli (here)
Speaking of feelings, here are mine. If I stick out here, in this Here and Now thread, to the point that it attracts stalkers, and people who want to poke me with needles, seeing only my over-inflated ego, I will withdraw.

My wish here was a community, not a platform with me on stage, and having to face an audience of fans and hecklers.

Stalkers and needles are too low a vibration to withstand our unified energies here. And if it takes putting on our mod tee-shirts at the Village…well so be it.

Second line of defense...we add another layer.

<3

PS Take one and pass them around. (drag to your desk top)

[Selkie]

Posted by ulli (here)
...I have had clients who were married to psychopaths, and their identity was totally destroyed, and the more loving they became, the more their psychopathic spouses became sadistic.

Not to take this thread off topic, but just as an aside, this is what JLL tried to do to me. He tried to turn me into a totally subjugated, unpaid household drudge who had no mind or will of her own. He tried to destroy my personality and identity; he tried to turn me into his Stepford Wife.

Sorry if this post is not appropriate here, but Ulli's quote about what psychopaths do to their women is spot on, as I know from personal experience.

[ulli]

Posted by Paul (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
For the self to become truly empowered it needs to be unified. This means to weed out all contradictions in the personality. Being a bit moody is one thing, and one can say stuff like I'm sorry, "Im not feeling 100% today."

In other words, one is acknowledging that others have certain expectations, and might be surprised that they are not being met.

But when one has two opposite personalities where one side does not know what the other side is up to...this can cause endless trouble; not just to the bewildered friends and relatives, but ultimately to the self which resides in the core of the being.

From my perspective, I don't seek to unify myself, but rather seek to have all the parts of me on agreeable speaking terms with each other.

We're too complicated to be as one, encompassing all aspects of ourselves, from any particular perspective.

Rather we're each more like a Village. In our better moments, the multiple self-organizing layers of our beings, at various physical, chemical, biological, mental, energetic and spiritual levels, are supportive of each other, or at least amused or tolerant of each other (aspect of our being.)

"Unified" sounded too monotone to me, risking being a denial of our own self-diversity.

When several of the various aspects of ourselves are cooperating on a common goal, we can indeed become quite powerful. Perhaps that is more what you meant by unity being empowering.

(If my occassional forays into philosophy make little sense, fret not ... I will reliably return to my nerdly computer and economic studies shortly.)

Thank you for pointing that out, Paul. Well said.
Actually, it is what I believe, too.

Memory is needed, and honesty, to be able to perceive all aspects of the self,
and then choose carefully what one wishes to present as one's gift to the world.

Which can vary at any given Here and Now moment.

P.S. Paul, your musings, although rare these days, are always welcome, no matter how diverse.

[ulli]

Posted by Silkie (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
...I have had clients who were married to psychopaths, and their identity was totally destroyed, and the more loving they became, the more their psychopathic spouses became sadistic.

Not to take this thread off topic, but just as an aside, this is what JLL tried to do to me. He tried to turn me into a totally subjugated, unpaid household drudge who had no mind or will of her own. He tried to destroy my personality and identity; he tried to turn me into his Stepford Wife.

Sorry if this post is not appropriate here, but Ulli's quote about what psychopaths do to their women is spot on, as I know from personal experience.

This is not off-topic at all. Please, use this thread at any time you have the urge to unload.
Lots of people can relate, I am sure.

A new question now arises (since I am still processing recent events and my own shattered nervous system:
'was Natalia reprimanded for being off topic?'
My answer to that is no, but for being antagonistic, which is rather different.
In reality there is no such thing as off-topic in the here and now.

[Selkie]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Silkie (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
...I have had clients who were married to psychopaths, and their identity was totally destroyed, and the more loving they became, the more their psychopathic spouses became sadistic.

Not to take this thread off topic, but just as an aside, this is what JLL tried to do to me. He tried to turn me into a totally subjugated, unpaid household drudge who had no mind or will of her own. He tried to destroy my personality and identity; he tried to turn me into his Stepford Wife.

Sorry if this post is not appropriate here, but Ulli's quote about what psychopaths do to their women is spot on, as I know from personal experience.

This is not off-topic at all. Please, use this thread at any time you have the urge to unload.
Lots of people can relate, I am sure.

A new question now arises (since I am still processing recent events and my own shattered nervous system:
'was Natalia reprimanded for being off topic?'
My answer to that is no, but for being antagonistic, which is rather different.
In reality there is no such thing as off-topic in the here and now.

Yes, I mean, no, Natalia was never reprimanded for being off topic since I have been here...to my knowledge, in other words.

Thanks, Ulli

an addition I am still learning the forum rules, so that was why I added the caveat about possibly being off topic.

[ulli]

One more comment...quite a lot today, considering how I recently stated I would only post pictures in future...
I am really glad that Roisin has found us.

(Now worried about who I might be omitting. Silkie? ILOVEYOU? I hope everyone can see my dilemma.
I have deliberately cultivated the art of ignoring so as not to overload this thread with my presence.
That way I could give all the Villagers the chance to speak on behalf of the Village.

This morning I saw a few posts which I had forgotten to thank. Let me assure people that sometimes especially recently,
I have been so busy that I fell into bed without checking Avalon. I know, unheard of, given my record. But that's what happens when there are changes in life.

[ThePythonicCow]

Posted by Silkie (here)
I am still learning the forum rules, so that was why I added the caveat about possibly being off topic.

Forum threads are like books in a library ... some are more narrowly focused, some more wide ranging.

[Selkie]

Posted by ulli (here)
One more comment...quite a lot today, considering how I recently stated I would only post pictures in future...
I am really glad that Roisin has found us.

(Now worried about who I might be omitting. Silkie? ILOVEYOU? I hope everyone can see my dilemma.
I have deliberately cultivated the art of ignoring so as not to overload this thread with my presence.
That way I could give all the Villagers the chance to speak on behalf of the Village.

This morning I saw a few posts which I had forgotten to thank. Let me assure people that sometimes especially recently,
I have been so busy that I fell into bed without checking Avalon. I know, unheard of, given my record. But that's what happens when there are changes in life.

Oh, gosh, Ulli...please do not concern yourself about thanking me! Concern yourself with your lovely garden, instead!

With hugs

[ulli]

Posted by Silkie (here)

Posted by ulli (here)
One more comment...quite a lot today, considering how I recently stated I would only post pictures in future...
I am really glad that Roisin has found us.

(Now worried about who I might be omitting. Silkie? ILOVEYOU? I hope everyone can see my dilemma.
I have deliberately cultivated the art of ignoring so as not to overload this thread with my presence.
That way I could give all the Villagers the chance to speak on behalf of the Village.

This morning I saw a few posts which I had forgotten to thank. Let me assure people that sometimes especially recently,
I have been so busy that I fell into bed without checking Avalon. I know, unheard of, given my record. But that's what happens when there are changes in life.

Oh, gosh, Ulli...please do not concern yourself about thanking me! Concern yourself with your lovely garden, instead!

With hugs

The sweetness of this reply shows me that you have that classic kind and humble personality, the kind which all predator-types rush to like moths to a candle.
Is it because they seek redemption? Or is it they their entities wish to make you so weak as to make you ineffective.

This has been going on forever, and this is why our aim here is empowerment.


Still harping on about that other recent topic...to make the distinction...
Women who see themselves as a half of an orange and shop for underwear to attract a mate, these are not the kind of women I am trying to encourage, nor empower. On the contrary, their approach will only end up with them getting hurt over and over again, as they will send the wrong signal to start with.

My message to women is this, go and educate yourselves about local and world affairs, and don't allow anyone to trap you in a kitchen and bedroom exclusively. You can still keep your make-up, and your pretty clothes, but they are not the end-all of femininity.
The divine feminine is so much greater. We must strive for that higher spiritual self, only then we will have the diverse self which Paul mentioned earlier.

[Roisin]

Don't be a doormat Ulli wrt to recent unfortunate events in this thread and one person in particular. "Blank" knew what "blank" was doing all along and there's no question in my mind that "blank" is in fact a very very clever person... much more than "blank" was letting on. "Blank" used various passive-aggressive tactics to set-up her targets so when once things reached full-tilt, her targets were the ones apologizing instead of the other way around. In fact, "blank" is a real pro and I have been in other forums comprised of a "blank-like" person or two. Should anyone want to contact "blank" now to send "blank" any messages from other members who want to contact "blank" from this forum, IMHO, it should be a female who handles that and not Bill or any male member of this forum.

P.S. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[3(C)+me]

Well you know I was watching all this from the sidelines and I have to say many many many times I wondered why this person was even on this forum? Why this one. I seemed to me she was attempting to use this as a dating site or attempting to find her next soul mate and I just steered clear of her but I had my own ideas about what was going on.
Sometimes love is not enough, one needs boundaries, needs to know this is a community coming together to share information for their personal growth, if one is here to find their next boyfriend here, well, I do have a problem with that, many other websites out their in web land that would be better suited for their needs. A the very least she was a distraction. People do develop friendships and develop a reppore with others at best, it comes along in a natural way. I didn't think this was the case. But I don't doubt she was a nice and kind person but seemed a little lost.

[Roisin]

Yes, the kind thing to do is to give someone like that the benefit of the doubt but you know?..... best to not say anymore.... it's sad... actually.