Alienation from loved ones while on the path of awakening (Advice Wanted)

[robinr1]

Posted by Ted (here)
Family is a tough one. You can't be on the fence if it's a choice between the wife and your original family. The wife has to come first, because she is now your primary family. It may get tense for a while, but time seems to mellow people out eventually.
People who have yet to wake up like their slumber! Everybody wakes up in their own time. Sometimes you just have to talk about cars, sports or even Brittany Spears. It's a good exercise in patience (or beer drinking).
It is a rather lonely road to travel. Maybe there are some forum members close to you that you could socialize with.
Hang in there.

I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?

[chancy]

Posted by robinr1 (here)

Posted by Ted (here)
Family is a tough one. You can't be on the fence if it's a choice between the wife and your original family. The wife has to come first, because she is now your primary family. It may get tense for a while, but time seems to mellow people out eventually.
People who have yet to wake up like their slumber! Everybody wakes up in their own time. Sometimes you just have to talk about cars, sports or even Brittany Spears. It's a good exercise in patience (or beer drinking).
It is a rather lonely road to travel. Maybe there are some forum members close to you that you could socialize with.
Hang in there.

I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?

Hello Robin1 and everyone:

I believe you must put your wife first and foremost. Parents might have raised you but your family is wife and kids then everyone else.
Parents try to meddle in most peoples lives. This is just what being a parent is all about. Just because the parents give advice doesn't mean you have to take it.
chancy

[Wide-Eyed]

I think betoobig summed it up pretty nicely. You're on a great journey and expanding enjoy the breadth and width stay open things are syncing up, the baby blessings and joy.

[Avuso]

Thanks for starting this discussion, JTA. I'm in a similar situation - my awakening period has been shorter, but even so old friends have rapidly fallen away with little explanation, and I don't have an outlet to discuss topics close to my heart, hence My decision to join P.A. where I hope I can find a community.

I feel a greater affinity for metaphysics or spiritual things that relate to my everyday life than reading about mining on Mars or exchange programs with other star-systems that while critical for our world in general are time-consuming to sift through. I always ask. If this is true, what will I change? How will I act differently? If it doesn't matter or if incites fear, I let it go.

When learning about TPTB I have often felt a strong urge to educate others. In part this is a natural way for me to digest and process new information, and could theoretically be mutually beneficial, but there have been very few who were interested in listening. It's disappointing. But I'm learning to be at peace with others; we all have a right to our own beliefs without the unpleasant feeling of having opinions pushed on us. Sometimes too the desire to convince can come from doubt in the views themselves. Better to be openly doubtful and cautious then. And after all that inner work, then the invitation to others to change is much more effective.

In terms of relating with loved ones, I feel there is some overlap where we can find common ground. I enter their reality mostly, and make a few jokes or arguments inviting new perspectives, but we can always enjoy the weather, celebrate successes, or some other little thing. We're a diverse planet and the people closest to us are our important, though often difficult, teachers.

Sometimes I too wonder in the midst of emotional upheaval if all my new learning actually helps. I guess it's our practical test to take ideas like "we're all one; everyone is a reflection of yourself; turn the other cheek" and actually put them into practice.

Perhaps the most fundamental is feeling alone. People often say, "You're never alone," but it really feels that way. I sit with the loneliness and it passes with time, but I really haven't gotten to the root of that feeling.

[Valley]

It's great to see so many well-reasoned/seasoned responses for this excellent topic for discussion. Helping loved-ones 'wake up' is like an art form, where our love for them is our best 'guide', and patience is 'our friend'. The feelings/energy shared is more important than the particular words/subjects we speak of. Also, visualizing how you would like things to go is an excellent 'tool' for staying positive.

I think each person has different ways of relating and learning... and getting to know each other's 'wiring' better, will help us learn how best to 'connect'.

All the Best...


Welcome...

[prc]

First of all congratulation for the newborn that is coming.

I really don't know how to solve your issue but I can relate to that also. My parents and sister are not interested to grow or to seek this spiritual path that I am interested.
So to solve this problem I found Avalon and I am happy to have at least this forum as a companion for this spiritual task.
It is more like finding our tribes. And you have found yours here, just like I did.
So even though I always comment things that I read in here to my parents, they just started to listen more to the things I was saying when I also started to share news about healthily food and the advances in drugs that they could take for their disease. So they started to at least listen to my stories because the things I was saying about healthily food and drugs was true. But they are still not interested in the spiritual path. I respect them, and they have learned to respect me as well.

[Matt P]

I am celebrating my 20 year anniversary this week (w/ 2 kids) and I love my wife dearly but I agree with robinr1. YOU are the most important. You must live with and love yourself first or what love will you have to give to your wife, child and family. So, that's my advice...to be true to yourself first. Do that and I bet your wife and child will have a wonderful husband and father.
Awakening is both a divine blessing and a curse. Like RUSirius said, it's just part of the process. I have left many family and friends behind because they were stuck in old ways of living, thinking and being. I had to because being around them took my energy level way down and I guess I'm not to the level of enlightenment where I can maintain my usually positive attitude when I am around them. I just continue to be true to who I am and hope that slowly my family will join me in a path of awakening.

Matt

[greybeard]

Once you make a serious commitment to finding spiritual Truth it is no longer down to the "individual"
I went to an ashram in India for three weeks one Christmas--that did not go down well--temporally leaving wife and two young children.
That came about by a series of coincidences--then through a different coincidences my wife of that time went to the same ashram some time later.

I was full of enthusiasm telling everyone that I had found "God" I soon wise-d up.
I no longer mention spirituality to anyone.
No need to inform others about spirituality--if its their destiny it will come to them.
If they ask, that's different.
All is well.

Love Chris

[Baby Steps]

yes.
LOVE is the key. Bring more in, & let them all see that
the intellectual side of awakening- is independent. Drop any desire for people to join you in an intellectual understanding of these matters.

I have been through this, awakening is a huge opportunity to become a more loving person, and everybody picks up on that.
God bless

[Ted]

Posted by robinr1 (here)

I have to ask... I hear this all the time.... that the wife must come first. now for full disclosure I am not married and have never been married. that said. the divorce rate is almost 60 percent.. and that isn't even factoring

the ones that cheat on each other. hate each other or are just sticking around for the kids. fact is folks get married all the time. divorced all the time. stuff happens all the time.

what im 100 percent sure will never happen is the love I have for my parents, or they have for me go away. im also 100 percent positive either one would give their live for mine in a heartbeat.

I guess my question is.... does everyone agree that u must put your wife first? am I that off base?

It's only when the family of origin becomes divisive that problems arise. They want you to put their interests before those of your spouse.
In the early years, members of my family would invite me along on activities without inviting my wife, saying it was "family only". You can only imagine how that sat with my wife. I initially tried to make everyone happy, only to find out that it made no one happy.
I finally realized that I had to choose, and I chose my wife. Had I chosen my family, wife would have (rightly) said goodbye.
Of course, one only has to choose if the family of origin won't let go, or meddles in the relationship. Ideally, the new spouse is welcomed into the family with love and respect and all this is unnecessary.

[universe]

One quick suggestion that I found very helpful. Search out the Echhart Tolle material (video is better at first) everything that you are concerned about is in there. The next step is to be patient with what you know. You don't have to change the world, just yourself. You can still interact with those that are asleep without becoming asleep again, you were there once so it's easy. You can interact from two perspectives at once. Try some more patience with those that are not on a similar path (not always easy, but that's how you tell where you are at the moment.) Don't look for change, be the change and we will find each other.

[waves]

JTA-12358, I empathize with you bigtime and have a couple comments. First, something that eluded me in a long journey of feeling a growing philosophical separation from those I loved and loved me was that it was going to make a complete circle and I'd realize people to love were ultimately more important than the information... and all along love was the answer.

That said, one very sticky issue remains. I encourage you to quick set a precedent with your partner about agreeing to look at ALL factors when making decisions about your mutual child - and always present your side gently, but with undeniable substance. I don't know what you two have discussed/agreed/disagreed already about vaccinations, GMO foods, cartoons, video games, schooling.... but the sticky issue that may come up for you is that you're willing to look at crucial factors to determine what the right decision is for your child's health - mental, physical and intellectual.... and your partner won't... say, refuses to look at vaccination or GMO dangers or subliminals/mind control manipulation in cartoons/video/TV/movies, even corporate children's books.

Anyway, my big suggestion is to try to establish some pattern/agreement now about decisions regarding your child, or you'll find yourself feeling like you know better for CERTAIN, but having to watch your child being damaged by what your wife insists on. That to me the stickiest future ramification. GOOD LUCK.

[Roberta]

When you are on the PATH, there is no return! The others, with their petty issues, bring boredom, huge boredom, or worse - they bring squalor, they make you want to scream at them. But you are on the PATH and you must be worth it, so practise patience towards those who have not made the first step yet.

[Paradox22]

Wow! Your situation is very similar to mine...albeit I'm not married and luckily I can talk to some members of my family about spirituality etc and they are wiling to listen, my brothers are spiritually inclined so we are able to have very long conversations which I am so grateful for...however, I find myself mainly peerless (I have like 2 or 3 friends outside of family) I too am a freelance worker where I work from home and do not go to an office (although I don't think I'd find many like minds at an office anyway), so I decided to join Project Avalon as a way of meeting like minds, I just need to be more active in the forum and hopefully will end up having some great conversations with others, including yourself if you like

I'm not sure I have any advice for you...just know that you are not alone in how you are feeling! I think it happens to almost everyone on the spiritual path.

Best wishes to you!

[Earthlink]

I read your OP and I think this may shed some light. You're ready.

It seems more and more evidence now supports the idea that we're all permanent, and that we just keep coming back. The Pineal Gland in brains activates at around 7 weeks in the womb, and not until that happens does brain activity show up at all, it is just a perfunctoral doubling of cells, much like fingernails growing, prior to this activation, and, it is the same every single time we look and in every fetus ever observed.

This does mean that my relationship with my mother and father is actually more like a relationship with just another one of my brothers and just another one of my sisters, than my mother and father, or, creators. They are not that at all.

Anyway, we're all on the return trip here, and even as a child to parents, because of evolution and the constant gaining of knowledge that does never stop, children are generally always smarter than their parents. The number of lives you've lived versus the number of lives someone else has lived vary by person, since, we all did not begin at the same time. New life is constantly being created, and everything, including our planet, our sun, our solar system and this galaxy we are in, keeps growing indefinitely, and, new life keeps forming.

You come in at the crystal level (so long ago to you now that it's not even worth trying to remember) and end up in the highest life form, which on this planet today, is the Human.

I think this will help you. Just remember that if your position on the soul chart is in a different place than another, the best you can possibly do to all of those to the left of you would be to calmly help them, but don't ever try to force them, for, the younger a soul the more apt it is to be wrapped up in the completely phoney world of ego. However, that is a dangerous action, pointing this out to them, for, it is more real to them than anything else, of course, because ego is their own personal interface with themselves, and their self is something they know more intimately and is more stable to them than anything else in this world.

In short, you can't force evolution on someone. It just takes time, and what has to happen is they need to die, be born, die, be born, die, be born etc. to catch up to others.

Work with what you have then, and don't bother to try to be a God and supplant a few centuries of evolution into someone.

Nature is never in a hurry, and yet everything gets done. -- Lao Tzu

peace

[JTA_12358]

Hi Everyone, while on my search more clarity, I came across this article that seemed to speak directly to my situation. I thought I'd share with you here. I'm not sure how many are familiar with this website, I just recently discovered it and find it very helpful. Hope you guys enjoy! Thanks!

Transforming Resistance Into Clarity
http://whenhuman.com/transforming-re...y-story-waters

[Gatita]

You were called to your path for a reason. You and your wife chose each other for a reason. Your family doesn't have to agree with your choices. They do, however, need to respect them.

Cat

[LittleTree]

Hello All,

I posted this letter I sent to my family yesterday in the forum for Bill's interview w Rebekah Roth.Bill directed me here and I would like to begin with my appreciation for all of you and for all who have contributed to this subject.
Below is the letter....here is my update:

I told my son that I was willing to talk about it if he had questions or wanted to process w me. (during my silent protest). Honestly, all I wanted was the courtesy from them to take a look...they looked, they saw and hmmmm...interesting!

My son...easy peasy, had questions and life goes on for him. I said Thank You, it's all I wanted from you and off to another day! Please note, I cannot share chucks of thought and set up family dynamics here. Suffice it to say, I have pledged from conception to create a safe environment for my child in and out.

My brother...through the chain of events, I am beginning to understand that it wasn't for him to "know" that I was looking for. It has to do with respect for humankind....I'm processing and flushing this out...

So, you know how some people talk down or childish to children and our elderly. It's always seem inauthentic to me. I made it a point to not do that w my son and honestly, a great decision- he's a cool kid!My brother (from another mother) and I have been riding this merry go round/f-ing rabbit hole, whatever you want to label it about respect. One who waits to be waited on...."why, I wouldn't blink my eye if I didn't have to" kinda stuff. It's a weird dichotomy that is really challenging to see- for it is hidden well. So well in fact that during my awakening, I have feared for our lives in not knowing if this switch will flip....and my logic says...no, not P, he's got a heart of gold...and my gut keeps saying RUN! I loathe running! I don't want to run. Relocate, yes, in a heart beat!

In the past, I always knew the next step would reveal itself, always did. Energy on this planet is very different now. Honestly, I'm glad to not have unseen forces guiding me, I'm honored that it is now "up to me." I'm wondering if this is part of the "loneliness" that I hear so many speak of...

Zombie, schlombie....live and let live.

It's about LoVe and caring and respecting each other as vital human essence.


Here is the letter I posted yesterday:Re: Bill Ryan's new interview with REBEKAH ROTH, 11 September, 2015


Bill...Thank You, I Appreciate ALL of YOU!

I completed the interview this morning. Not only was it perfect with information, the delivery was eloquent and both of you have speaking voices that are very easy to process all being said, especially for the level of content discussed....just perfect, Thank You!

It led me to my family and the barrier we have over all of this. I want to share how I chose to handle it. To preface, I live with 2 who, for sake of set up, are inclined to spend copious amounts of time involved in science, history, war and ammunition, then technology...I want to share because I know I am not alone with this issue. Thank You again!

email to my little family unit:

My Boys, I love you both insanely. With all due love and respect, I refuse to speak directly w either of you until you each listen and have discussion about what you hear in this 2hr recording.

You must also acknowledge and comprehend this term:

Cognitive Dissonance: In psychology, is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.

This Sovereign Woman was just a "Flight Attendant" for 30 yrs. I'm just a woman, a mom. We both pose the same questions "where is everybody? where is our Police, where is our Government?" Are we Biological Zombies? She has a website, all she has done is transcript-ed from legal documents that you would approve of...listen for yourself.

The difference between her and I are many and few. She stumbled upon something when beginning to attempt to write a novel and curiously began to follow connections. As did I stumble upon something so disheartening that I desired to understand. She too got physically ill - for the truth will make you sick...or, you're a zombie or you're invested in the machine.

I love ya, I'm happy, I'm thrilled to be with you guys, nothing else changes. I will communicate clearly and concisely via every other method - just not directly anymore with you two- until you at least take 3 hours of your time to listen and discuss it w each other.....and hopefully invite me fully back in your lives at some point...hey, at least I can't speak till it's done! One big diff w our quest is mine has been spiritual and heart centered that led to political.

If you can not offer me the respect of passing a mere simple "Zombie Test", then you both can sit here and have at it...I have followed many a human to the gates of hell and ALWAYS refused to go in...YOU TWO are indeed asking me to go in with you and I have to tell you, I will not go - not even for you two.

You are both my home, my heart, you expect my love and my care and my time and energy -as I expect and so very much need too from both of you and desire and love and respect and cherish.....I have lost my denial about life, my veil has been lifted and I was forced to see the truth. I have, at the very least 'banged on the damn door for you two, if you recall, you two literally had to come to my aid and nurse me for the last major aha ****ing moment, this stuff will seriously mess with how you view life!

I miss being fun and light hearten, I have been forced to pretend to be real w you two, pretend everything is status quo, when it is not. I loathe pretending. At least if you watch the video and you still choose to sleep, then okay, for we must each respect each other enough to live our very own personal brand of truth.

My truth, you are blindly jaywalking on the Autobahn.... and I as a human, as your mom and sister, as a fellow person on this Autobahn traveling with you, I have to at least be allowed to tell you "cars are coming!It's time to take a looksee."

Once you look, then okay. From there, I can find a way to lighten up again, find my honest humor once again...I miss it! At the very least, I will have a way of finding my peace with each of you and will leave it be if you choose to sleep. No more "harassment with my bs" about it. I will shut-up for you two.

Try to understand- that to me, both of your behavior is like two little kids w a mommy at some ER somewhere, asking mommy to smile, play, take care of us- wheeeeeeee, when her mind and very soul is and has been freaking the hell out from the moment they followed her husband-their father into the ER, bloodied and fighting for his life!

You both shut me down, you think I'm just whacked... "So, Boys...Ole Mom here is busy figuring out how to move forward in light of all these new circumstances, please sit down, shut up and watch this video for awhile!"

At this point, I am not afraid of our future. I am not afraid of my personal decisions and conclusions as to how I want to handle possible future scenarios. My current focus is on what to do as a free society, I know my decisions if it were to come down to slavery. I will not need the time to process these very important decisions if faced with any of them..because, I am busy learning, preparing, dealing, processing NOW...I am busy waking the hell up!

I swear to know for my fact and truth, that there is no adult alive, really even beginning to open their eyes and see what is going on, that has not personally, emotionally, mentally experienced, suffered the feelings of a huge loss. To accept such horrifying things about our very existence brings the shattering of all that you thought we were as a country, as a society, as a people. It is a painful process that can make one physically ill! This concerns the validity and safety of our home and lives....our bigger ****ing home even more so than the mere reflection of dilapidation in our very own home here!


This is my addendum to my post:

Re: Bill Ryan's new interview with REBEKAH ROTH, 11 September, 2015

Dear All,

Thank You for the replies and praise, I'm delighted! I am not so forum savvy as of yet and would like to apologize if I do not navigate w enough agility to acknowledge and Thank each of you individually...I'm learning, my tech skills are not up to speed, nor my grammar and punctuation, the latter- not so concerned about!

To clarify a little more...I was writing the email posted here this morning- before my son woke up.
I wanted to wait until he had been up and had the chance to start is day before I went all trippy silent on him. When he woke, I asked him to think of anything he wanted to speak w me about and do so soon. I said, "think of it as if it was the last time I got to use my voice to communicate w you for a few weeks."

A little later, I told him that I was writing an email for both of them and that I wasn't going to speak after I hit send. From my perspective, I don't play games. This is no joke! I have been gently and sometimes not so when I was imbalanced w my own emotions trying to tell them for the last 7 months. They have watched me change. My son has opened up in the most incredible ways this year, be it his age as well as the universal pull to awaken. We have had some very precious talks to the wee hours.
When I started to listen to the interview w Reb myself last night, I went into my brother's room (who is still listening to Glen Beck during his workday), I played two sentences out of Rebekah's mouth and he rolled his eyes. I had honestly just spent the last waking hours, (which were absolutely record breaking for me btw!) since Friday working on his computer and setting up a new website for him. He had reverted back a few settings and had many issues....You guys, chunks of thought are priceless compared to words...kinda like gmo's vs organics! I wish I could lay out the dynamics of my household, impossible as for us all. Suffice it to say, it's forever, even in the wee hours, a house full of stimulating conversation, 3 different personalities and perspectives and a safe environment for spiritual, intellectual and emotional growth. That's only inside tho, externally, we have a hyper-sense of awareness of the current poverty/slave environment of our US economy. I have watched my family slowly move along with my big leaps and bounds in awakening and this was just the next logical step for me...I trust the path to appear and it does, I go with the flow downstream.
I have a blast with all of this madness in my own head, Thankfully, I got it awhile back that I'm not just talking to me when I am alone, I have felt for quite awhile there were other dimensions involved.

This is great practice for me. I practice patience and I have earned them by dealing w my **** continually...I "gots lots" of that pseudo spiritual training down pat! LOA, Let go, Let God, Haribol... don't know where all my training leads, but hey 'bring it, I'll talk to ya! But I'm a baby to it all too. I told my bro the other day...if we are free in three years, I can not wait to see who I am and what I get to be doing!

Bill has suggested posting this elsewhere on the Forum, I intend to do so. I'm a bit of a distracted, piscean multi-tasker in need of a technical learning curve in forum speak and do, so it may take me a little time to get there.
Thank You once again everyone!

[LittleTree]

Just want add that it has been incredibly cathartic to do that! Life is really fun w all this new positron vibin'! I understood the behavior I could not pinpoint and it hit the open air this evening and dissipated! Just as all negativity is fading away! Big LoVe to All, Thank You!

[TODD & NORA]

..........