I totally resonate with that.Posted by pilotsimone (here)
When you feel and can identify this deep pain within you, see that blaming others in your family is not the solution. When you feel the urge to blame, keep in mind that your generational line has lived with the same pain, too. It is highly likely that they never even imagined that it was generational. They probably took it very personally, and therefore their only option was to act it out. When you start to see this in terms of a long chain of suffering handed down from generation to generation, and you realize that you’re the one, here and now, who can become conscious of how this works, then you have the opportunity to put an end to it.
The above is something that came to me over time,not quite in those words but similar meaning none the less.Reflection is hard when your ''in the thick of it'',but it helps and as time passes and can broaden ones perspective and personal place in the Quagmire of family drama`s.Pain brings with it hidden gifts,a point of reference or an experience owned or evolving in the case of loved ones
Maybe the best approach is to try and stay balanced(i know its hard sometimes),give love,understanding and acceptance to those whom partake in it with you.A good chat or phonecall,out of the blue or in the right situation is all it takes or sometimes even a smile where one is unexpected.Try and bring peace with you to these toxic situations and then you`ll give that point of reference.You`d be surprised how the little things build up over time to create a new relationship/paradigm with another.