Victim Mentality

alyscat · 05-22-2009, 01:02 AM

FWIW, IMHO, there are 2 things working here. You can say you create your reality (and I believe we do) - But still things "happen" - so does that mean you haven't created them? Can't be sure, but the one thing I know for sure is that we are in total charge of our reactions to them - Oh, you might have a moment of annoyance or a moment of helplessness, but on the whole, you have choices to make about how you are going to react, or even perceive a situation.

An example, I have a solar guy, recommended by my builder. I LOVE my builder. The solar guy seems disorganized, (I mean, I had to provide the compass on his first visit - how disorganized is that?). Not only that, but certain situations look like he's overcharging me - he doesn't really know how to quote an install - I have some choices - I can look it as disorganization, or I can look at it as a deliberate attempt to scr*w me. One of those "judgments" leaves me feeling a whole lot better than the other. If I think I"m easily scr*wed, everyone does it, I'm a victim. If I think, he's disorganized and it's up to me to stay on top of it, then I'm not.

Perception is everything - including our self-perception.
Alys

05-22-2009, 01:02 AM	#24
alyscat Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Washington state Posts: 743	Re: Victim Mentality FWIW, IMHO, there are 2 things working here. You can say you create your reality (and I believe we do) - But still things "happen" - so does that mean you haven't created them? Can't be sure, but the one thing I know for sure is that we are in total charge of our reactions to them - Oh, you might have a moment of annoyance or a moment of helplessness, but on the whole, you have choices to make about how you are going to react, or even perceive a situation. An example, I have a solar guy, recommended by my builder. I LOVE my builder. The solar guy seems disorganized, (I mean, I had to provide the compass on his first visit - how disorganized is that?). Not only that, but certain situations look like he's overcharging me - he doesn't really know how to quote an install - I have some choices - I can look it as disorganization, or I can look at it as a deliberate attempt to scrw me. One of those "judgments" leaves me feeling a whole lot better than the other. If I think I"m easily scrwed, everyone does it, I'm a victim. If I think, he's disorganized and it's up to me to stay on top of it, then I'm not. Perception is everything - including our self-perception. Alys