Contactee - I NEED HELP
Grab a drink and a snack, this is a LONG post.
The reason I initially joined this site was to try to figure out what I've been a part of my entire life. I have posted a few things, but either no one believes these things are happening, or no one has any insight related to my experiences. Because I received a very clear and almost panicked message in 2017 telling me that time is running out, I will give this one more try and include as much information as I can, which definitely won't be everything because there is far too much to mention unless I wrote a book.
My father mentioned a few times that he had seen a UFO. This happened before I was born. I don't remember asking him what it looked like because I had never been very interested in UFOs.
I had an Uncle who had been in the Navy and who then went on to work on Top Secret government projects. I don't remember ever hearing about anything related to his work.
I was born in a small town located less than an hour from Wright-Patterson Air Force base. We drove to Dayton, Ohio often to visit my father's sister who lived there. During every trip to see her, I always felt a strange, uncomfortable feeling inside that grew stronger as we neared her home. Her home was located twenty minutes from Wright-Patterson. Since then, I've never lived more than 30 minutes from a military base.
Starting by age four and continuing for few years, I would awaken in the middle of the night from what I used to believe were recurring "dreams." I would be laying on a flat table. It was bright in the room and the light seemed to be emanating from the walls. I remember the light and the walls having a soft-bluish tint.
There were shorter beings at the sides of the table and near my feet. I always thought of them as cats because they felt furry. There was also what appeared to be a woman but I never saw her face. From the back, I saw long, brown hair and a long, white garment. There are two different versions of this. In one version, I felt the sensation of having liquid poured on my skin. In the other, it felt like my entire body was being tickled with feathers.
When I was eight or nine years old, as I was walking home from school one day, I heard a voice call my name. I stopped and looked around but I didn't see anyone. As I was walking home on another day, maybe a week or two later, I heard the same voice telling me I would always be cared for. Due to the tone of the voice, I've always associated it with a male in his mid-twenties. I've heard that voice throughout my life giving me guidance and warnings. I've gone months, maybe even years, without hearing from him, then the voice will pop in to tell me something.
At age nine or ten, I began seeing auras around people and knowing what the various colors of energy were associated with. I can still usually see auras around people, but I have to really focus now.
When I was 11 years old, my favorite aunt and uncle came to visit during the holidays. This was the same uncle who worked for the government. My cousin and second cousin's were also visiting. One of my second cousins is just a year younger than I am so she stayed at my house and slept in my canopy bed with me. Back in the seventies, they had small, pre-lit, plastic trees that were a little over a foot tall that you could decorate. They seemed to be a popular item as I remember seeing them in stores all the time.
Anyway, along with other ornaments, I had placed an elf ornament on the tree. When my second cousin and I woke up the next morning, we stayed in bed talking and, out of the blue, I asked her if she wanted to see the elf ornament climb up the tree. She did, so I focused on the ornament and the elf climbed up the tree and back down again. She was really excited and wanted to see it again, so we watched it go up and down the tree two more times before my mother walked in the room and told us it was time for breakfast.
At some later point, I don't know why I remember this, but it was while I was washing my hands. I told them that I didn't want that ability because I was afraid I would hurt myself or someone else. I never thought about who it was I was speaking to until two years ago.
In my teen years, I became increasingly precognitive. I would know when the phone was going to ring and who would be calling. I would sometimes tell my mother who was calling and asked her to tell them that I would call them back later. I would know when we were going to run into someone when we went out somewhere. I would know if a friend were driving on the same road we were on.
When I was 17, we moved to a house my parents had built in Marana, Arizona. It was located ten minutes away from Evergreen Airpark (now called Pinal Airpark). It was once home to a secretive CIA operation. I ended up working there for a little while when I was nineteen. Paranormal events really ramped up after moving there. I had a feeling of always being watched; objects in my room would be moved from one place to another; and I would sometimes hear a scratching sound coming from one of my closets when I was alone in my room.
I remember a male with blonde hair, who appeared to be in his twenties, sitting with me in my bedroom floor and telling me I was a Star Child. He gave me a book so I could learn about it, but I don't remember the title of the book, what happened to it, or what information it contained.
Before I was twenty, I began studying the chakra system and I had also started experimenting with astral projection. One night I decided I was going to try visiting a few friends in order to test whether or not I was actually leaving my body. The next day, three people called to tell me that I had woken them up during the night. I decided to try taking it a step further and try to enter a friend's dream. I decided on Kevin, a friend from school I hadn't known for very long. The next day, he approached me to tell me that he'd had a weird dream and I was in it. The dream was exactly what I had experienced during my out-of-body travels.
I had a LARGE owl sighting when I was returning home late one night. The owl was completely white, a little over two feet tall, and was standing on a gate post to our driveway. It really frightened me and I was a bit shaken for a few hours afterwards. In 2017, I tried to find out what species of owl I encountered that night but I still haven't found any photos or descriptions that resemble it.
I began to have short, spontaneous visions of an alternate life. These visions began around age eighteen or nineteen. During these visions, which occurred when I was wide awake and either working on something or reading, I would feel like I was actually there, in that place. I could feel the stone beneath my feet as I ran up a staircase, the cold air blowing through an open window, the movement of the horse beneath me as I rode to the top of a cliff. At age twenty-one, I finally saw all of the shorter visions together and understood the complete story of that lifetime.
Around age nineteen or twenty, I had a dream of a disc in the sky that looked like a face. I was terrified and said to my dream companion, "We need to go! The Sun Child is after me!" On November 16, 2017, Linda Moulton Howe posted a graphic on her Earth Files website that contained drawings from people who had seen the bottom of a craft. I literally gasped when I saw it because I had drawn an almost exact image to depict the disc I had seen in my dream. She referred to it as the Tri-lateral Insignia.
During the mid-nineties, my first husband and I were living in Glendale, AZ, within 20 minutes of Luke Air Force Base. He became close friends with a neighbor, who I'll call Micheal. Micheal and his wife lived in the house just behind us and they had two children, one of them was a little girl who is only twelve days younger than our oldest daughter.
Michael had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1989 and had attacks throughout the years which sometimes left him partially paralyzed and unable to walk. When we first met him, the MS was in remission. That changed in late spring of 1996 when an MRI showed a huge lesion on Michael's brain stem. His neurologist told him to get his affairs in order because his time was limited.
Five months later, the neurologist phoned Micheal to tell him about a new, experimental treatment for MS and suggested that he try it, so Michael went into the hospital for the intravenous treatment. The IV dosage was supposed to be infused over a twelve hour period but the directions were written incorrectly and the entire infusion was set to be administered in only two hours. It was just over an hour of receiving the infusion when Michael flatlined. The date was October 29, 1996.
Micheal had a near-death experience during which he left his body. He remembers being up at the ceiling in a corner of the room and seeing a creature standing across the room from him with a circular object behind it. He describes the object as being a burnt-cooper and black. The creature was very thin, had no hair, and was grayish-brown in color.
Micheal was afraid of the creature and left the room. He remembers traveling down a hospital corridor and into a waiting room where he saw a Mexican family gathered together and they were all in tears. The next thing he remembers is being in an all white room and hearing a voice telling him that it wasn't his time to go, but he could leave if he wanted. However, if he chose to stay, he would have a whole new life. Micheal decided to return to his body.
When the neurologist visited and found out what had happened, he ordered an MRI to see if any damage had been done to Micheal's brain. When the images came back, the lesion that had been on Micheal's brain stem was completely gone, leaving only scar tissue behind.
On December 13, 1996, while driving home one evening, the voice told me to go to Micheal's house. I had just run into someone I knew when I stopped in coffee shop and he had asked me if I wanted to go out the next night. I said yes and we exchanged numbers so I was thinking about what the date would be like and maneuvering my way through holiday traffic.
When I heard the familiar voice tell me to go to Micheal's house, I said there was no way I was going to do that. The voice was persistent, telling me again that I needed to go to Micheal's house. I asked it to give me one good reason for doing that and it said something along the lines of, "Micheal's wife left him and took the children. He's alone and depressed. People often commit suicide during the holidays. You need to invite him to your house for Christmas dinner."
I couldn't argue against that, so I went to Micheal's house. I remember how defeated he looked when he opened the door in his red, hooded sweatshirt. He hadn't left the house in two weeks. Everyone he knew was busy, either with working overtime or with holiday related events. I told him I'd do something with him and suggested that we go out and play a few game of pool sometime. He said, "How about tomorrow night?"
I hadn't told him about the date I was supposed to go on, and I couldn't say no, so, when I went home, I called and postponed the date until Sunday night.
On December 14, 1996, Micheal and I went and played three game of pool. I felt so comfortable with him and talking to him was so easy. I didn't want the night to end but I didn't say anything. He, however, asked me if I wanted to stop by his house for a glass of wine instead of just going straight home. I really don't enjoy most wines, but because I wanted to spend more time with him, I said yes!
On the night of December 24th, he and I were in his backyard drinking a sparkling wine and looking up at the sky. We saw a falling star and we both made a wish. As he was gathering things up to take inside, I looked out into the universe and asked for a sign. I said, in my head, "If this is my soulmate, the one you've promised me, I want to see a sign. I want to see an arrow in the sky."
I didn't think about the sign I had asked for during the coming months. My life was changing so quickly. Micheal asked me to marry him seventeen days after our first date, my two daughters and I moved in with him, I was attending college, we took a trip to Flagstaff so the girls could play in the snow, we were always doing something and I was living in the moment.
On February 12, 1997, while Micheal and I were driving to central California to get married, I looked up and saw a perfect arrow in the sky. I was really excited and asked Micheal if he saw it. He looked up and he was amazed. I told him that I had asked for an arrow in the sky as a sign that he was the one I had asked for, and as I finished telling him, the arrow disappeared. Everyone always asks if the arrow was just a cloud shaped like an arrow. I tell them no, it wasn't a cloud. It had perfectly straight lines and it was completely white. Micheal describes it as being like the arrows you'll sometimes see painted on the street.
When my daughters were probably five and six years old, their father wanted to take them camping in Payson along with his new wife and her youngest daughter. A day or two before they were set to leave, I woke up from a vision. I had seen my ex-husband car traveling down Beeline Highway when, suddenly, the car jerked, went off the road, and tumbled down the mountain. I knew there had been multiple fatalities. Beeline Highway, at that time, had only two lanes in certain sections and no shoulder for emergencies.
I called my husband and asked him if he planned on taking Beeline Highway to Payson and he said yes. It was the quickest way there. I begged him not to go that way and told him what I had seen. He listened to me and took an alternate route that added 30 minutes to the drive there and back. On their way home, the two back tires blew out. Because he was on a multi-lane highway, he was able to safely make it to the shoulder then drive to a phone to call us.
Micheal learned early that I had a way of knowing things. Our first year together, he bought several items for me for my birthday. Before opening each gift, I would tell him what was inside. After that, he started waiting until the last minute to buy me presents so he could surprise me.
In 2000, we moved to a small town along the central coast of California, within 30 minutes of Vandenberg Air Force Base. I had my own businesses, one as a website designer, the other as an intuitive counselor and energy worker.
I created entire websites by typing in HTML coding, before I had a site builder program to create code automatically. One afternoon, I was struggling with a new page I was creating for a client. There was an error in my HTML coding that was throwing the entire page off. I kept looking for the error, scanning each line at least five times, but couldn’t find it. Frustrated, I got up and went to the kitchen to get another glass of iced tea.
When I returned to the room, an eight-foot tall, insect-like, blue, holographic being was standing right next to my desk. I only looked directly in its direction that one time, while entering the room, so I can’t give a detailed description, but it’s head was shaped like that of a preying mantis and it appeared to be wearing some sort of cape. I was a little alarmed and stopped in my tracks for a second. However, I didn’t feel anything negative from the being, so I went and sat back down at my desk. Then the being spoke to me telepathically and told me where to find the error in my code. I looked where it said and, yes, there it was. I thanked the being and asked its name. The being said, “You can call me Blue.”
I know we talked for a while but I don’t remember anything else that was said. I called up a friend later, one that wouldn’t think I was crazy, and told her what had happened. She said, “It sounds like you were visited by an alien.”
At some point between 2002 and 2005, while receiving craniosacral therapy from a massage therapist/energy worker, a being appeared right above me. It appeared as pure white and golden light, and it had a shape that most would refer to as angelic. The massage therapist always closed her eyes while performing craniosacral therapy so she didn’t see the being.
In the presence of the light being, I was filled with intense love and a bliss I have never experienced before or since. I laid there with tears of joy streaming from my eyes. The being bent down and kissed me in the center of my forehead. It was an amazing experience. I know it imparted some information to me, but I cannot recall any of it on a conscious level.
We returned to Arizona in February of 2006, within 17 minutes of Luke Air Force Base. About six months after we moved in, there were two owls who would come and sit on the power poles located just on the opposite side of our neighbors house. When we would swim or get in the spa at night, they would just sit there and watch us. They were there for a few months, then we never saw them again.
There was a lot of activity in that house. Clicking sounds in bedroom, hooded figures in downstairs hall that only the females in the house could see, a little boy who would hang out near the stairs or in my son's room, fairy sparks in the air.
While living in the house in Peoria, AZ, my husband and I saw a strange craft fly over our home. We had been in our backyard relaxing on a clear, quiet night and the children had been asleep for a few hours. We got up to head back into the house and, as we were nearing the covered portion of the patio, we both saw an object moving through the sky.
The craft was low to the ground, maybe fifty feet above our house, and it made a low-pitched humming noise that was only noticeable when it was practically just one house away from ours. It was grayish-black in color with maybe a hint of brown and had no lights. It was rectangular in shape and the sides of the craft had what appeared to be panels running vertically along the sides. It was traveling at a very slow rate of speed, perhaps only twenty-five MPH. It flew directly over our home, traveling from east to west.
I’m fuzzy regarding the exact year (I think it was in November of 2009), I had an encounter with my husband present. Although he knew I never lied or made things up, I know a part of him struggled when I would tell him about my experiences. However, after our experience together, he understood that everything I had shared with him was real.
He and I had been watching a movie or playing a game late one night and we went to grab a snack. We headed downstairs and into the kitchen. You could see the family room from where we stood in the kitchen, and in the family room there were multiple, blue, glowing orbs floating in the air. They each moved independently of one another but they remained together in a group. I asked my husband, “Are you seeing this?”
He said yes and asked me what it was. I told him I didn’t know. We stood and watched the orbs, which were approximately the size of a softball, for at least fifteen seconds. Then the orbs shot off to the left (our right) behind a wall where we couldn’t see them. Then I felt energy running through my body. I asked my husband to look at me and he did, and I said, “No, look at my back and tell me what you see.”
When he looked at my back, he was astonished. He told me that my hair, shirt, and sweatpants all looked like they were being pulled away from my body. I told him to stand behind me, put his arms around me, and to pull me as close to him as he could. He did and he said that he felt an energy being pushed right through the front of my body to the back, then felt a force (he describes as a magnetic force) pushing against him. Then we both felt something slip from between us and move away to our left.
The orbs returned several times after that initial incident and, during three of those visits, I felt the same energy being run from the base of my spine to the crown of my head.
We moved back to California in 2010, again within 20 minutes of Vandenberg. After we'd moved our furniture into the California house, my husband returned to Arizona to paint and to get that house ready to rent out or sell. While he was there, a few things happened, but the most memorable was when he was working in one of the upstairs bedrooms. He heard something bang in another bedroom and went to see what it was. He didn't find anything, and he said, "Stop ****ing with me!"
Right after that, all of the (hard-wired) smoke detectors in the house, as well as the security alarm, started going off all at once. He tried to find a way to turn them off but couldn't. He left the house, got a soda from a nearby drive-thru, then returned and parked in the driveway. He called me to tell me what had just happened because he was so freaked out. As he told me about the incident, all of the lights in the kitchen where I was standing started blinking off and on. I said, half jokingly, "Thanks for letting them know where we are!"
When he went back into the house, everything was quiet and he didn't experience anything weird in that house again.
However, in the California house...
There was a really odd sensation that I would feel anytime I walked around in the master bedroom. I don't even know how to explain it. It was like the floor was floating, completely ungrounded. When I walked through the house, I would see things hanging from the ceilings like you would see in an old, abandoned house. They were like huge cobwebs with dust and leaves caught in them.
Often, during the night, we would hear sounds like someone moving plates, utensils, and pans around in the kitchen. I would walk out to see why the kids were being so noisy, but there was no one there. The kids would also here it and they would sometimes go out to see what I or my husband were doing in the kitchen so late and we wouldn't be there.
Every once in a while, one of the bedroom doors would slam on its own.
We have an electric fireplace in our bedroom and it kept turning on by itself in the middle of the night. After this happened a few times, my husband unplugged it.
We would be in the kitchen or dining room area and hear someone walking down the front hall when no one was there. The dogs would also respond to the sound and start barking.
Something shifted around 2014 or 2015. The house became relatively still. I would still be confronted by something very dark and sinister feeling at times, then that stopped, too.
We had about two years of peacefulness.
Then, in February of 2017, it was as if the world turned upside down. I heard the voice saying, frantically, "We're running out of time! We're running out of time!"
I kept asking what that meant, but I'm not sure about the answer.
That was the year when I realized that all of my experiences might be related. I was flooded by memories and saw them in a whole new light. I realized that I had been a part of something my entire life and it was really difficult for me to grasp. All of 2017 I was a basket case. I had this constant internal argument. One part of me was saying that none of this could possibly be real, the other part gave me reasons for why it had to be real. I finally found a psychiatrist I felt comfortable opening up to and I told him about the ET contact, the psychic abilities, everything. He had done research on these things and he believed me. He said that a lot of what I said sounded like experiences other people had reported and suggested books by Whitley Strieber and John E. Mack.
I was shown more. I got to see the bottom of a craft from the vantage point of being lowered down from it while lying on my back and it was amazing. The craft looked like it was alive. I think I was looking at some type of metal, but it continuously rippled across the bottom of the ship. There were incredibly bright lights, round with at least a two foot diameter. When they turned off, it's as if they'd never been there at all. You only saw the bottom of the craft with no evidence of any lights.
I was told something about DNA. They said, "Like Scottish DNA." I looked it up later and discovered that Scottish DNA is extremely diverse. So, what does "like Scottish DNA" mean? That they are gathering genetic materials in order to create very diverse beings? Or that they, themselves are the result of many generations of genetic mingling?
This past year, we've been visited by a small, thin being who we witnessed darting through our home several times. We would also feel something walking across the bed, and it wasn't our cat. We've also seen a small, white orb bouncing through the house.
The things I've been told... are they real or meaningful?
I've been told that I am one of seven. I have no idea what that means. I've also been shown that I have a group of twelve who are involved in teaching and guiding me. "We will come to you in groups of four. You will know us by what we teach you."
I've been told that I am here as an observer and a teacher. To open people up to new ideas by posing questions that cause them to question their reality and their beliefs. I wonder if my work here is done.
I've also been told that I do a lot of my work in other locations. Perhaps that is linked to missing time. They have mentioned bi-location before, and I've had at least one experience of being in two places at once.
I struggle with all of these things EVERY DAY. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before going to sleep. The fact that I have woken up in the middle of the night to see a three-foot tall being with almost pure white skin and big dark eyes standing right next to the bed, inches from my face, then seeing someone standing about three feet to the side of that being who is wearing black camo pants, and who I never see above the waist, really makes me question the origin of some of my experiences. Could some of these visits be our own military?
I can't trust the things I hear due to the Voice of God technology, or V2K (Voice to Skull). The first successful transmission of a voice directly into the head of an individual happened in 1974. It was performed by Dr. Joseph C. Sharp of the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research.
I also can’t trust the things I see. Holographic technologies date back to 1947 when scientists were working on the improvement of an electron microscope. Bell Labs, the Air Force, IBM, Nasa, General Electric… they have all been developing holographic technology.
Have I been part of some type of experiment my entire life? If so, then our government not only has the ability to transmit messages to targeted individuals, it also has the ability to read our minds. A press release by Columbia University in February of this year, 2019, states, "By monitoring someone’s brain activity, the technology can reconstruct the words a person hears with unprecedented clarity."
I think my husband, whose father was in the military, is an actual MILAB victim. So many times over the years he has woken up with scratches, bruises, even a black eye and busted lip. When I told people about it, they suggested that I was inflicting these wounds in my sleep, so I stopped sleeping when he did. He still awoke with injuries. He has fuzzy memories of being on a craft, but he can talk about those memories on his own if he chooses. He has also had the shifting pupils, that I had posted about before, that I first noticed at the end of 2016. They shifted often during 2017, and now it's a rare occurrence.
I have rarely awoken with any type of scratch or injury. I sometimes feel like "my guys" are completely different than his. Mine are protective and have only offered help and guidance to me and, at times, they've worked through me to help others. The fact that they led me to my husband makes me curious.
I know that my husband's health has improved and my health has declined. He had Multiple Sclerosis when we got married, I started having pain in various areas of my body. He started feeling better, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. He was diagnosed with Leukemia, I had all kinds of symptoms associated with my husband's diagnosis, my blood work was all over the place and the doctors had no explanation. A recent MRI shows an enlarged lymph node by my left jugular vein. The doctor has me on a high dose of antibiotics to see if it responds. If not, then a series of tests will be ordered. He mentioned the possibility of lymphoma. My husband is currently being treated for lymphoma.
What the hell is going on in my life? I really would like some answers. I break down in tears sometimes because it can be so confusing at times. For a while, back in 2017, I was so depressed that I often contemplated suicide. I don't know if the things I've experienced are "REAL", or merely illusions that have been generated. Can my memories be trusted, or have they been manipulated? I suddenly find myself not believing in anything and I used to be a very spiritual person. Not having anything to believe in creates a state of hopeless desperation. That is where I am.
If no one here believes anything I've said, then I don't know where else to go. I need to actually TALK to someone. I usually don't have the energy necessary to communicate online with a lot of people so please don't send me private messages asking questions. If you want to ask something, ask here. It might take me a few days, even a week, to respond. I'm so tried, drained, and in pain most of the time, keep that in mind.
If there is a SERIOUS researcher who can provide credentials and offer proof of their identity, I can provide medical documentation to support the things I've said, as well as a psychological assessment I've had done on my own. I'm not "crazy". I would really like to sit down with someone, in person, and tell them everything.
Time might be running out.
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