Daily Thoughts of a Targeted Individual

[Squareinthecircle]

Posted by petra (here)
This reminds me of the Serenity prayer.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The courage part is where I am failing mostly. I'm not that courageous but I see a lot of courage on PA as a whole. Some of us are born leaders, but some of us, like me, are more like followers.

The amount of serenity, or inner peace, we have is contingent on our level of acceptance. They scale precisely. We lose our serenity when we have trouble accepting something or someone. We have precious little power in the end as individuals in our environments. This practice 1) divides what is actionable vs what is not, illuminating the path forward and 2) provides inner peace since we are no longer struggling to accomplish the impossible.

I've had a crazy life. I've had tremedous highs and lows, experienced extreme pain and pleasure. Nothing beats a serene mind. If the rich could buy it they would, and would pay any price. It's an experience that defies our ability to understand until we're in it, and it's the height of human experience in my opinion. The juice is worth the squeeze.

[petra]

My life has been crazy too. Literally psychosis kind of crazy. We are lucky to be alive!

Throughout my life I have noticed a lot of people confessing their sins to me. One guy was a murderer, he was trying to save his mom. I think its because my Faith is so strong.

I wonder how you feel about killing? Do you think you could do it of you had no choice? If it was kill or be killed? I used to think I could but I don't think I have the courage.

It's not like I'm praying for War but I am starting to understand why it could be necessary. Not just here, up in outer space too

[Squareinthecircle]

That bit on fear and doubt was hard. The experiments done on me moved what I call my psychological "floor" above the things that human psychology involves itself in that goes nowhere (noise). Much is included in that, and it forces the question of whether or not I am even human in the ways that count.

One movie I always identified with was "Watchmen" (2009), for varying reasons over the years. After last year the part of the film that makes sense most to me is the story arc of Dr. Manhattan. There are many similarities between our stories, and plight.

Manhattan had trouble with relationships because he saw them at all points in time simultaneously. I have trouble due to a compression of detrimental human psychology leading my interactions and classifications being emotion-free, cold and objective. This is for processing, mind you, I can still feel emotion when the time is right. So far anyway.

Fear and doubt- I don't have them by the traditional definitions anymore. In their place are recognition of facts or opinion- calculations. The targeting program still makes sure that I get plenty of artificially-sourced "fear" however.

I'm being distanced from humanity more, like Dr Manhattan. The program sees this and is delighted- they don't have to work as hard to disassociate me with the other TIs.

I saw this was coming, but that was shocking when I couldn't sufficiently recapture those experiences for that paper.

[Squareinthecircle]

3 to 4 times per day this happens:

I suddenly wake in severe pain, confusion, and other emotions. I have to figure out what emergency is happening. But it's no emergency, it's the perps waking me again. THey insist through panic attacks, itching and other reliable (read: overused) methods.

So I sit up, and immediately they remove 99% of my brainpower as a response. Now this happens 3 to 4 times per day and has been happening for years now. If we just consider 3 times per day that's over 1,000 per year.

So now I'm forced awake though still tired obviously (I get about 3 or 4 hrs of sleep per day/night usually total), and I'm trying to operate but have no ability to think.
That's when the gay stuff begins, if not before. Their fascination with my anus has snowballed. It used to be my mind they were concerned with, their attentions have shifted. I expect they're not going to find advanced thought there, but I'm certain that's the idea.

I realized this morning the targeting program can be summed up with one al-encompassing word: inferiority.

Inferiority describes their make-up, their desires, their methods and their vision for the future. It's the reason for the program. It's the program itself. It's the one concept that is everpresent in the program.

And it's why I have no place in the program. If inferiority wasn't their mantra, I mean if we even click up to "crappy" on the dial they'd be smart enough to see the answer isn't behind me, but to bump me off. They are idiots for keeping me around. But if I were gone they would be idiots still, so it's not the cause.

They are trying to turn me into them. Speaking freely they want to turn a brilliant man into a homosexual idiot. It's a fool's errand- I'm as far away as one can be from their desired goal, and more resistant than anything else they will find because I was made through the program. It may be the only good thing they ever did, but they did a good thing when they made me.

[Squareinthecircle]

Posted by petra (here)
My life has been crazy too. Literally psychosis kind of crazy. We are lucky to be alive!

Throughout my life I have noticed a lot of people confessing their sins to me. One guy was a murderer, he was trying to save his mom. I think its because my Faith is so strong.

I wonder how you feel about killing? Do you think you could do it of you had no choice? If it was kill or be killed? I used to think I could but I don't think I have the courage.

It's not like I'm praying for War but I am starting to understand why it could be necessary. Not just here, up in outer space too

Thanks. I wanted to sit on the questions, but would rather not answer them publicly. All things considered it's probably best I stay away from those.

[petra]

Posted by Squareinthecircle (here)

Posted by petra (here)
My life has been crazy too. Literally psychosis kind of crazy. We are lucky to be alive!

Throughout my life I have noticed a lot of people confessing their sins to me. One guy was a murderer, he was trying to save his mom. I think its because my Faith is so strong.

I wonder how you feel about killing? Do you think you could do it of you had no choice? If it was kill or be killed? I used to think I could but I don't think I have the courage.

It's not like I'm praying for War but I am starting to understand why it could be necessary. Not just here, up in outer space too

Thanks. I wanted to sit on the questions, but would rather not answer them publicly. All things considered it's probably best I stay away from those.

I would like to officially apologize I did not realize what I was doing until yesterday. I'm not trying to recruit you into my head game I just have a lot at the top of my mind. I really over stepped and I am sorry.

[Squareinthecircle]

Posted by petra (here)

Posted by Squareinthecircle (here)

Posted by petra (here)
My life has been crazy too. Literally psychosis kind of crazy. We are lucky to be alive!

Throughout my life I have noticed a lot of people confessing their sins to me. One guy was a murderer, he was trying to save his mom. I think its because my Faith is so strong.

I wonder how you feel about killing? Do you think you could do it of you had no choice? If it was kill or be killed? I used to think I could but I don't think I have the courage.

It's not like I'm praying for War but I am starting to understand why it could be necessary. Not just here, up in outer space too

Thanks. I wanted to sit on the questions, but would rather not answer them publicly. All things considered it's probably best I stay away from those.

I would like to officially apologize I did not realize what I was doing until yesterday. I'm not trying to recruit you into my head game I just have a lot at the top of my mind. I really over stepped and I am sorry.

No it's not that. Words still can tangle men up, even in times like these. I say enoough of them actualy, and in this setting it's probably best I don't.

The bottom line is that men will have to die before this can be fixed most likely, and I am not the type to be hypocritical.

Don't worry at all about that please, I didn't see it like that.

[Squareinthecircle]

[petra]

You mentioned fear and doubt and that got me thinking about fearlessness..

Right now I am feeling pretty fearless and I hope you are too. I don't feel much of anything anymore to be honest. I'm thinking like, if someone pointed a gun in my face right NOW I'd tell them to go ahead and do it! But I'm usually such a coward!

I once asked my brother what was the best piece of advice he ever got. He paused for a moment and it was if the answer was struggling to surface. "Be Positive" he said, with a kind of sneaky look on his face. I took that to have a couple of meanings one of which was to be certain in my decision making.

[Squareinthecircle]

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Philippians 4:8

It's sound advice.

[Squareinthecircle]

I re-found a peer-reviewed paper that supports the concept behind my recent paper Uploaded Identity: Of a Communal Mind:



Human Digital Twins in Personalized Healthcare: An Overview and Future Perspectives (Melvin Mokhtari)
https://arxiv.org/abs/2503.11944

[petra]

I read most of that paper and I am reminded of the "Singularity" my friend warned me about. I certainly don't want to upload anywhere not sure about you! I got to the end part and it talked about detecting surprise from the handlers. If thats indeed what it is, I detected a whole lot of surprise from mine. One even said "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all"

[petra]

This song is called Nosebleed Section and it reminds me of TIs. They don't actually get nosebleeds do they? I hope it is just a metaphor. Hope you've heard this one before and that you like it

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Vak9wUPkL3Q

[Squareinthecircle]

Thanks Petra. I've been down- they've had me out of commission for a while. Thanks for the contributions. The song above I assume refers to the cheap seats, often placed not just far from the event but high above so they can maintain a view. The thinner air at high altitude, combined with its low humidity, makes nosebleeds more likely. Of course it's meant as a joke.

Do TIs bleed from the targeting? Sure- it depends on where we are targeted. They burn us- some are burnt past recognition almost.

I wrote a bit recently. I added some to my ideas on the Charlie Kirk assassination, and another piece I'll link after:


Adendum to “Potential for Nanotechnology Use in the Assassination of Charlie Kirk”

The Mechanism of the Internal Explosion

by Kevin Boykin
07/14/2026

Continuing from https://kasspert.wordpress.com/2025/...-charlie-kirk/

Since the initial publication of this analysis, further consideration has been given to the specific mechanism that would produce an “inside-out” explosive effect. While the wound evidence points away from a conventional bullet, the question remains: what is the mechanism?

The most plausible explanation involves a two-stage system that combines nanotechnology and a directed energy weapon, a method consistent with the program’s known operational capabilities.

The Payload: A Bio-Integrated Nanocomposite...

read more here:

https://kasspert.wordpress.com/2026/...ie-kirk-paper/

[Squareinthecircle]

Limping to the Finish Line: The Human Race and its Imperfect Judgement

The Birth of Perfection Must be Achieved Through Imperfect Means


image: an example of Rubin’s Vase

by Kevin Boykin
Jul 14, 2026

Humanity’s great endeavor is the pursuit of truth through sciences, philosophies, and religions—all attempts to create a coherent map of reality. The ancient Greeks sought to explain the bizarre qualities of their world with capricious gods. This is how we attempt to understand, and the process isn’t wrong. In fact, even when it leads us astray, it often codifies universal truths. However, this entire enterprise is built on a catastrophic, unexamined flaw: the observer’s instruments are fundamentally limited. We judge reality from within a narrow perceptual spectrum, and the systems we build from these limited judgments are, by their very nature, incomplete and often catastrophically wrong.

Of course, the hope is that it’s a continuing process of discovery, investigation, and absorption. We need to be able to act at every point along the ignorance timeline, however, establishing the need for the office of “expert.” The “Knowledge” paradigm—the belief that through enough data and analysis we can achieve a perfect understanding of the world—is a form of hubris. After a time, we forget it’s a title based on what was available, not what exists, and we get ahead of our skis. True intelligence is not the accumulation of facts, but the recognition of the inherent limits of our perception. As Arthur C. Clarke wrote, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Our default state when faced with such phenomena is total misunderstanding, because we can only judge with what we know.

This creates a psychological compulsion to make sense of the nonsensical. Pareidolia—the innate tendency to perceive familiar patterns in random stimuli—is our brain’s desperate attempt to resolve ambiguity. The brain cannot tolerate an un-filed anomaly; it demands a resolution, any resolution, to reduce cognitive dissonance and allow for action.

The human problem is that our psychological compulsion to collapse the wave function is stronger than our ability to understand it. It exceeds us, yet we cannot leave the unknown as unknown. So we collapse reality not into true understanding, but into the first available, simple, and wrong explanation our limited minds can accept.

This foundational flaw is amplified by humanity’s recursive thought and knowledge transfer across generations. Pareidolia operates not just on visual patterns but on conceptual ones. When we transfer knowledge, often we are not preserving source material; we are preserving the last corrupted entry, creating religions and dogmas out of faded descriptions of original truths.

Yet another foe emerges from our own neurology. There is the imperfect process of our memory reconsolidation, which ensures that we do not remember the original event; we access a shortcut to the last time we remembered it. Every recall is a chance for corruption, a new saving of a file already losing its integrity. Just as pareidolia compels us to find patterns in random external stimuli, memory reconsolidation compels us to find narrative consistency in our internal recollections, smoothing over contradictions and gradually reshaping the past to fit our current understanding.

This combination creates the perfect environment for the Dunning-Kruger effect to flourish. The least knowledgeable are often the most certain precisely because they lack the meta-awareness to recognize the limitations of their knowledge. Meanwhile, those operating with minimal information—like the hanging judges of old who made life-or-death decisions with very little data—often display the greatest confidence in their judgments.



The arrogance of the “Knowledge” paradigm is best exemplified by Albert Einstein’s pursuit of a “Theory of Everything.” Despite his genius, he was working with an incomplete set of cards. The strong and weak nuclear forces were unknown to him, and he famously rejected the probabilistic “magic” of quantum mechanics. If the authority of Einstein himself could be a product of limited information, then the authority of every modern expert must be viewed with profound skepticism. They are not masters of truth; they are librarians of a flawed and fading memory, utilizing specialized filing methods.

Einstein’s work itself stands to keep us humble. We see where even he was wrong, where he needed to expand his views. Much more importantly though we see how the problems he approached resisted even his complex solutions. No single discipline can answer all the questions Einstein was asking. We see that the complexity of what we will face is fantastic, and that we aren’t equal to the task on any level. Again, we hope the recursive upgrade that humans received will wear at this.

It reminds me of that show Lost (2004-10), where the more they dug the crazier things got. I suppose we should prepare ourselves for the answers we may arrive at over on this side of the camera as well. In the show they looked for answers, investigating and seeing that the available patterns meant bad things. Basically they had landed outside of the reality we take for granted yet don’t understand. Thing is, the more I look at our reality as presented the more it appears like we are already on the island.

If our cognitive architecture is fundamentally flawed, how do we navigate reality effectively? The answer may lie in recognizing that belief serves as the necessary counter to perceptual limitation. While the “Knowledge” paradigm attempts to overcome our limitations through data accumulation, belief operates through acceptance of uncertainty. Belief allows us to operate effectively despite our perceptual limitations without falling into the pareidolia trap.

From there it’s trial and error, and sheer numbers. Those that select correctly benefit those that do not in time often come around. The path forward is not to abandon the pursuit of knowledge, but to fundamentally reorient our relationship with it. True wisdom begins not with certainty, but with the admission of our own limited spectrum. The most powerful intelligence is not the one that claims to have all the answers, but the one that can see the patterns of its own limitations.

We can address it directly—with protocol. This is done everywhere, but somehow we still engage in the hubris that the protocol should remind us to avoid. We are faced with the problem of not knowing what we don’t know, while not knowing how this affects us daily. And it’s a wild wild world as Cat Stevens put it. To digress but a moment, the human body has an Endocannabinoid system running through it that is not understood at all.

In a universe of infinite complexity, the limited visible spectrum of human perception is not a flaw to be overcome but a condition to be accepted. The true measure of intelligence is not how much we claim to know, but how clearly we recognize the vastness of what we don’t. But we need to remember that if it’s human, it’s flawed.

[petra]

You mentioned Pareidolia! I had that happen before. The stuff in my head made me think I was evolving. It was so scary, faces looking at me everywhere. Even on the floor of the mental hospital when I wanted to kill myself.

I guess its just my brain doing stuff but I'm glad it went away. I can't live like that.

[Squareinthecircle]

https://fb.watch/In8ZMVweD2/

[petra]

Posted by Squareinthecircle (here)
https://fb.watch/In8ZMVweD2/

You could have warned me lol. It looks like a dead spider

[Squareinthecircle]

Posted by petra (here)

Posted by Squareinthecircle (here)
https://fb.watch/In8ZMVweD2/

You could have warned me lol. It looks like a dead spider

Sorry. It's a close-up Rolly Polly bug. It picked up a lot of nano-nonsense it seems.

[Squareinthecircle]

It's a strange program indeed. Right now my perp neighbor is outside my window making noise- that's his job, and to do perp-walks, an extension of the same. My progam has devolved into a focus on my ass, itching primarily but gay stimulation as well, all day. Much of it they keep me semi-conscious.

So then their plan the whole time was to gain enough in the way of technology and influence that they as a group could play with men's asses from a distance. This is their big idea.

Humanity- what am I supposed to do with you guys?